1 00:00:03,615 --> 00:00:04,367 Hey, you. 2 00:00:04,368 --> 00:00:07,298 Okay, so weird dream. Weird, weird dream. 3 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:09,004 Weirder than the one where you step into a boxing ring 4 00:00:09,005 --> 00:00:10,967 and your hands are suddenly giant cream puffs? 5 00:00:10,968 --> 00:00:12,202 Weirder, scarier. 6 00:00:12,203 --> 00:00:12,934 Let's hear it. 7 00:00:12,935 --> 00:00:15,407 Well, I was home, and I was finishing up my usual morning routine-- 8 00:00:15,408 --> 00:00:16,876 you know, coffee, shower. 9 00:00:16,877 --> 00:00:18,962 And then-- picture this, very weird-- 10 00:00:18,963 --> 00:00:20,767 I take Paul Anka for a walk. 11 00:00:20,768 --> 00:00:22,726 You walk Paul Anka every day. What's weird about that? 12 00:00:22,727 --> 00:00:25,224 Not the dog Paul Anka. The real Paul Anka. 13 00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:26,454 - Whoa. - Yeah. 14 00:00:26,455 --> 00:00:27,221 Was he nice? 15 00:00:27,222 --> 00:00:30,165 Very pleasant, natty dresser. Then suddenly, he sees something, 16 00:00:30,166 --> 00:00:32,422 a cat or something, and darts right into the middle of the street. 17 00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:33,435 The real Paul Anka? 18 00:00:33,436 --> 00:00:34,670 The dog Paul Anka. 19 00:00:34,671 --> 00:00:36,935 So I call him and call him, but he completely ignores me 20 00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:38,561 and runs right into Doose's market. 21 00:00:38,562 --> 00:00:39,867 You didn't train him well enough. 22 00:00:39,868 --> 00:00:41,563 Too much affection, not enough discipline. 23 00:00:41,564 --> 00:00:44,457 So I go after him into Doose's, and apparently, he's got a job there. 24 00:00:44,458 --> 00:00:45,333 The dog Paul Anka? 25 00:00:45,334 --> 00:00:47,429 The real Paul Anka. 26 00:00:47,645 --> 00:00:50,601 You picked yourself some beautiful cucumbers, Mrs. Clancey. 27 00:00:50,602 --> 00:00:52,466 You have the cucumber eye. 28 00:00:52,467 --> 00:00:54,604 So I run out of Doose's, and I'm approaching Luke's apartment-- 29 00:00:54,605 --> 00:00:56,709 I guess to get help or something-- and I'm walking to the door, 30 00:00:56,710 --> 00:01:00,933 and I open it, and there's Paul Anka, in front of a microphone, giving a little concert. 31 00:01:00,934 --> 00:01:01,887 The real Paul Anka. 32 00:01:01,888 --> 00:01:03,127 The dog Paul Anka. 33 00:01:03,128 --> 00:01:05,266 Couldn't have been happy, you interrupting his show like that. 34 00:01:05,267 --> 00:01:09,275 He didn't notice. So I go down to the diner, and there, lo and behold, 35 00:01:09,276 --> 00:01:11,845 is Paul Anka sitting on Babette's lap. 36 00:01:11,846 --> 00:01:14,080 - Please don't tell me it was-- - The real Paul Anka. 37 00:01:14,081 --> 00:01:17,426 Good boy. Who's a good boy? 38 00:01:17,427 --> 00:01:18,426 This is crazy. 39 00:01:18,427 --> 00:01:20,801 Coming to the end. So the real Paul Anka looks outside, 40 00:01:20,802 --> 00:01:24,665 and there, sitting in the middle of the street staring at him is dog Paul Anka. 41 00:01:24,666 --> 00:01:27,194 So real Paul Anka gets up and runs out of Luke's. 42 00:01:27,195 --> 00:01:28,623 They're both in the street now-- 43 00:01:28,624 --> 00:01:30,801 real Paul Anka walking toward dog Paul Anka, 44 00:01:30,802 --> 00:01:33,344 dog Paul Anka toward real Paul Anka. 45 00:01:33,345 --> 00:01:35,870 You can sense that something very bad is about to happen, 46 00:01:35,871 --> 00:01:38,542 when suddenly they meet in the middle of the street, and bam! 47 00:01:38,543 --> 00:01:41,377 An otherworldly white light engulfs the whole town, 48 00:01:41,378 --> 00:01:45,249 and there's a loud explosion and two barks, and everything goes dark. 49 00:01:45,449 --> 00:01:46,191 And? 50 00:01:46,192 --> 00:01:47,028 And then I woke up. 51 00:01:47,029 --> 00:01:47,757 Wow. 52 00:01:47,758 --> 00:01:48,961 - Yeah. - Okay. 53 00:01:48,962 --> 00:01:50,690 So I guess I was wondering if you'd heard anything 54 00:01:50,691 --> 00:01:53,971 about a small Connecticut town being sucked up into an evil demon vortex 55 00:01:53,972 --> 00:01:56,063 or cast into the fourth dimension or anything. 56 00:01:56,064 --> 00:01:56,610 No. 57 00:01:56,611 --> 00:01:58,008 Real Paul Anka still kicking? 58 00:01:58,009 --> 00:01:59,763 Haven't heard otherwise. Check your hands. 59 00:01:59,764 --> 00:02:00,582 No cream puffs. 60 00:02:00,583 --> 00:02:01,907 I think you're good to start your day. 61 00:02:01,908 --> 00:02:03,218 - Thanks, hon. - Anytime. 62 00:02:03,219 --> 00:02:04,457 Bye. 63 00:03:09,539 --> 00:03:11,275 - You're gonna do fine. - Says you. 64 00:03:11,276 --> 00:03:14,397 And everybody else. You know the place backwards and forwards, Caesar. 65 00:03:14,398 --> 00:03:16,703 - You've never been gone this long. - You're gonna do fine. 66 00:03:16,704 --> 00:03:17,998 Stop saying that. It's bad luck. 67 00:03:17,999 --> 00:03:21,262 Then you're gonna stink. You're gonna blow up the stove and give everybody salmonella. 68 00:03:21,263 --> 00:03:22,382 Why do you say that? 69 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,754 Because if it's bad luck to say good things, it's good luck to say bad things. 70 00:03:25,755 --> 00:03:28,425 - You're rooting for me to fail. - I'm not rooting for you to fail. 71 00:03:28,426 --> 00:03:29,943 Lorelai, tell him he's gonna do great. 72 00:03:29,944 --> 00:03:31,193 And jinx it for him? No way. 73 00:03:31,194 --> 00:03:31,721 Thank you. 74 00:03:31,722 --> 00:03:32,741 You're both nuts. 75 00:03:32,742 --> 00:03:34,128 I could run the place if you want, Luke. 76 00:03:34,129 --> 00:03:36,282 Hmm, let me search down to the very depth of my being 77 00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:39,415 to see if there's the slightest inclination I would want that. 78 00:03:39,416 --> 00:03:40,792 - Nope. - Just checking. 79 00:03:40,793 --> 00:03:41,411 What's that? 80 00:03:41,412 --> 00:03:44,039 I brought it over last night. I figured you'd need it for hanging stuff. 81 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:45,332 I'm not bringing hanging stuff. 82 00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:47,631 Well, you should bring some nice clothes just in case. 83 00:03:47,632 --> 00:03:49,272 I threw in some slacks and your black jacket. 84 00:03:49,273 --> 00:03:51,966 It's a field trip with a bunch of 12-year-olds. I'm not gonna need nicer stuff. 85 00:03:51,967 --> 00:03:52,698 Just in case. 86 00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:56,703 It's 10 days of diners and fast food, nothing requiring slacks or jackets. 87 00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,861 See, that's what the phrase "just in case" covers-- 88 00:03:58,862 --> 00:04:01,280 the times you think you've anticipated every possible need. 89 00:04:01,281 --> 00:04:02,935 All right. I'll bring it. 90 00:04:02,991 --> 00:04:05,062 You know, there was a flash flood in El Salvador last night. 91 00:04:05,063 --> 00:04:07,363 No, my Salvadoran paper didn't come today. 92 00:04:07,364 --> 00:04:08,074 They didn't see it coming. 93 00:04:08,075 --> 00:04:09,840 That's the flash part of flash flood. 94 00:04:09,841 --> 00:04:13,123 So, what do I do if I see a flash flood coming straight at the diner? 95 00:04:13,124 --> 00:04:15,276 Make sure all the customers have settled up. 96 00:04:15,277 --> 00:04:16,857 It's all a big joke to you. 97 00:04:18,308 --> 00:04:19,623 So you're taking this, huh? 98 00:04:19,624 --> 00:04:21,120 The old one's a mess. 99 00:04:21,249 --> 00:04:22,293 You don't think I should? 100 00:04:22,294 --> 00:04:24,651 No, it's just you think it's sturdy enough? 101 00:04:24,652 --> 00:04:25,766 Yeah, I think it should be. 102 00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:28,411 Well, it's always best to take something that a gorilla 103 00:04:28,412 --> 00:04:30,493 could jump up and down on and not wreck. 104 00:04:30,494 --> 00:04:33,207 I don't think a gorilla has tested it, but if it busts, 105 00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:34,651 I'll just pick up something on the road. 106 00:04:34,652 --> 00:04:35,507 That'll work. 107 00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:36,656 All right, I should get going. 108 00:04:36,657 --> 00:04:38,544 Anna's stuck at the house until I pick up April. 109 00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:39,815 Well, let's get you on the road. 110 00:04:39,816 --> 00:04:41,814 It's good timing, too. Caesar's in the back. 111 00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,457 Sure you don't want to reconsider my offer? 112 00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:45,565 I've got a hairnet on me, so I can start immediately. 113 00:04:45,578 --> 00:04:46,518 Offer declined. 114 00:04:46,510 --> 00:04:48,262 - You take that. I'll take this. - Perfect. 115 00:04:51,494 --> 00:04:53,214 Oh. Oops. 116 00:05:00,611 --> 00:05:01,903 Wait! Wait! 117 00:05:01,904 --> 00:05:02,930 He's unstoppable. 118 00:05:02,931 --> 00:05:03,920 It's cute. 119 00:05:03,921 --> 00:05:05,289 We need to confirm the itinerary. 120 00:05:05,290 --> 00:05:07,912 As we've done 1,000 times? Sure, let's confirm it. 121 00:05:07,913 --> 00:05:09,615 Today's the kids' math contest in Newark. 122 00:05:09,616 --> 00:05:11,921 In my day, you learned two plus two and you stayed home. 123 00:05:11,932 --> 00:05:14,923 Today they got contests, they go on the road like they're Metallica. 124 00:05:14,924 --> 00:05:18,094 And then tomorrow night's Philadelphia. Did I tell you we're dropping in on Jess? 125 00:05:18,095 --> 00:05:19,054 Jess? No. 126 00:05:19,055 --> 00:05:20,374 Yeah, this place he works. 127 00:05:20,375 --> 00:05:22,674 They put out this zine and books and whatever else. 128 00:05:22,675 --> 00:05:24,241 They're having an open house. I'm taking April. 129 00:05:24,242 --> 00:05:26,168 It'll give Jess a chance to meet his little cousin. 130 00:05:26,169 --> 00:05:27,624 Oh, sounds great. 131 00:05:27,625 --> 00:05:29,348 - So anywhere in the back? - Anywhere's fine. 132 00:05:29,349 --> 00:05:33,141 Hey, day six-- if your cell dies, is there a phone in Gettysburg I could reach you at? 133 00:05:33,142 --> 00:05:35,907 Yeah, the one Grant used to call Lincoln-- number's in the book. 134 00:05:35,908 --> 00:05:38,551 Oh, good. He's a funnyman today. He's Jerry Lewis. 135 00:05:38,552 --> 00:05:40,459 Caesar, calm down. You're gonna do great. 136 00:05:40,460 --> 00:05:41,634 You're the best cook Luke's ever had. 137 00:05:41,635 --> 00:05:43,521 You so make better pancakes than he does. 138 00:05:43,522 --> 00:05:44,960 - True. - No, he doesn't. 139 00:05:44,961 --> 00:05:46,045 You just have to be confident. 140 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,966 It's just when I'm working the grill, sometimes I get a locked elbow. 141 00:05:48,967 --> 00:05:51,433 And Luke's the only one who knows how to rub it to get it working again. 142 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,352 - He rubs your elbow? - It's like a sports injury. 143 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:57,160 It's okay if it's sports. You want to step back 3 feet so I can say goodbye to my girl? 144 00:05:57,161 --> 00:05:58,239 Fine. 145 00:05:59,079 --> 00:05:59,842 You gonna miss me? 146 00:05:59,843 --> 00:06:01,058 Especially if my elbow hurts. 147 00:06:01,059 --> 00:06:01,877 I'm gonna call you a lot. 148 00:06:01,878 --> 00:06:02,804 Same here. 149 00:06:02,805 --> 00:06:06,225 You know, I was happy when she asked me, but now it just struck me. 150 00:06:06,226 --> 00:06:08,580 I'm gonna spend 10 days with a bus full of teenagers. 151 00:06:08,581 --> 00:06:09,803 I think you're ready. 152 00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:11,866 Thanks for seeing me off. 153 00:06:11,867 --> 00:06:13,146 Your pancakes are better, by the way. 154 00:06:13,147 --> 00:06:14,163 Thanks. 155 00:06:14,169 --> 00:06:16,196 Don't worry, Luke. Just a momentary panic. 156 00:06:16,197 --> 00:06:17,794 I'm gonna be fine, I promise. 157 00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:21,407 Good. Now go back in there and reclaim your turf. 158 00:06:21,408 --> 00:06:22,751 Reclaim my turf? 159 00:06:25,015 --> 00:06:26,305 Kirk! 160 00:06:30,903 --> 00:06:32,838 What are you doing, Kirk? You don't work here! 161 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:47,882 I'm bad with names, so help me with the names. 162 00:06:47,883 --> 00:06:49,083 You ever use mnemonic devices? 163 00:06:49,084 --> 00:06:50,529 Uh, maybe. 164 00:06:50,530 --> 00:06:52,328 They help you remember things. 165 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:54,804 Uh, like Curtis Shuran. He's from Kurdistan. 166 00:06:54,805 --> 00:06:55,314 Really? 167 00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:57,312 No, he's from Detroit. That's a mnemonic device. 168 00:06:57,313 --> 00:06:59,254 Curtis Shuran from Kurdistan. Got it. 169 00:06:59,255 --> 00:07:01,510 Jamie Alvarado likes to try avocados. 170 00:07:01,511 --> 00:07:03,183 Meg Shatsworth, Haywood's fatsworth. 171 00:07:03,184 --> 00:07:06,079 Shatsworth, fatworth. Alvarado, avocado. 172 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:07,530 And those are your fellow grups. 173 00:07:07,531 --> 00:07:08,203 The what? 174 00:07:08,204 --> 00:07:09,952 Grown-ups. You never saw the original "Star Trek"? 175 00:07:09,953 --> 00:07:11,714 Oh, yes, grups. Yes, I did. 176 00:07:11,715 --> 00:07:14,386 The one in the cords is our math teacher, Mr. Munster. 177 00:07:14,387 --> 00:07:18,105 Good guy, he's a little nerdy, likes to wow us with his Chris Rock impersonation. 178 00:07:18,106 --> 00:07:19,310 It's borderline racist. 179 00:07:19,311 --> 00:07:21,303 Well, let's leave the bags here, get the lay of the land first. 180 00:07:21,304 --> 00:07:22,718 Well, this is pretty much the land. 181 00:07:22,719 --> 00:07:25,142 There must be some kind of check-in point and protocol to follow, 182 00:07:25,143 --> 00:07:26,457 so just stick with me, okay? 183 00:07:26,458 --> 00:07:28,394 Or you just run on the bus. That's really good. 184 00:07:28,395 --> 00:07:30,206 - Hello, there. You our pilot? - Your what? 185 00:07:30,207 --> 00:07:31,154 Are you the driver? 186 00:07:31,155 --> 00:07:32,448 Me? No. 187 00:07:32,449 --> 00:07:33,646 I'm Luke Danes. 188 00:07:33,647 --> 00:07:36,253 Oh, you're Luke Danes. Sorry. We thought you were our driver. 189 00:07:36,254 --> 00:07:39,303 No, no, sorry. I, uh, you know, I have nicer clothes than this. 190 00:07:39,304 --> 00:07:41,048 I won't always be wearing these. 191 00:07:41,049 --> 00:07:43,913 That's okay. I'm Earl Stepton. This is Kelly Turlington. 192 00:07:43,914 --> 00:07:46,447 You probably know Roy Munster, your daughter's teacher. 193 00:07:46,448 --> 00:07:49,043 Actually, no. I'm April's new father-- 194 00:07:49,044 --> 00:07:51,638 I mean, not new, but new to her. So, hey. 195 00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,922 - She's a bright one, your daughter. - Go figure. 196 00:07:54,159 --> 00:07:55,357 - Hey, Luke! - Yeah? 197 00:07:55,358 --> 00:07:57,154 Some people in here are wondering who you are. 198 00:07:57,155 --> 00:07:58,687 Oh, well, go ahead and tell them. 199 00:07:58,688 --> 00:07:59,809 That's Luke. 200 00:07:59,930 --> 00:08:01,429 So here's the detailed itinerary. 201 00:08:01,430 --> 00:08:02,894 Lunch stops, snack stops. 202 00:08:02,895 --> 00:08:04,752 - Wander time, exploring time. - TV time. 203 00:08:04,753 --> 00:08:06,455 Porn will be preblocked at all our lodgings. 204 00:08:06,456 --> 00:08:07,741 Okay, so no porn. 205 00:08:07,742 --> 00:08:09,081 Study breaks, check-in with parents. 206 00:08:09,082 --> 00:08:10,953 - Bedtime hours. - So we go to bed at 9:00? 207 00:08:10,954 --> 00:08:12,130 The kids do. You don't have to. 208 00:08:12,131 --> 00:08:13,275 Right, but I can? 209 00:08:13,276 --> 00:08:14,528 - Sure. - Okay, great. 210 00:08:14,529 --> 00:08:16,294 Shall we get on board so they don't leave without us? 211 00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:17,280 Well, I still have my bags. 212 00:08:17,281 --> 00:08:19,072 - Okay, see you on the bus. - Okay. 213 00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:21,995 Kelly Turlington from Burlington. 214 00:08:22,305 --> 00:08:24,506 Roy Munster's a punster. 215 00:08:25,734 --> 00:08:26,851 Hey, you. 216 00:08:27,111 --> 00:08:27,964 Hey. 217 00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:29,104 You get in late last night? 218 00:08:29,105 --> 00:08:30,105 I was studying. 219 00:08:30,106 --> 00:08:32,635 Hmm. Missed my class this morning. 220 00:08:32,636 --> 00:08:33,652 Bummer. 221 00:08:33,653 --> 00:08:35,352 Clock didn't go off. I thought I set it right. 222 00:08:35,353 --> 00:08:37,367 Oh, I reset it. I had to catch up on some sleep. 223 00:08:37,368 --> 00:08:39,563 - I didn't know you set it for early. - Honest mistake. 224 00:08:39,564 --> 00:08:41,324 Maybe we should get a second clock. 225 00:08:41,325 --> 00:08:42,891 Might be wise. 226 00:08:42,928 --> 00:08:44,534 You gonna be available to grab a bite later? 227 00:08:44,535 --> 00:08:45,437 Maybe. 228 00:08:45,438 --> 00:08:47,028 You can't see that far into the future? 229 00:08:47,029 --> 00:08:48,802 It's crazy right now. 230 00:08:48,803 --> 00:08:49,935 I'll check in with you later. 231 00:08:49,936 --> 00:08:51,374 We'll see how it goes. 232 00:08:54,441 --> 00:08:56,125 - Have a good day. - You too. 233 00:09:00,471 --> 00:09:04,131 There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium 234 00:09:04,132 --> 00:09:06,885 And phosphorous and francium and fluorine and terbium 235 00:09:06,886 --> 00:09:09,464 And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium 236 00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:12,160 Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium 237 00:09:12,161 --> 00:09:14,796 And lead, praseodymium, platinum, plutonium 238 00:09:14,797 --> 00:09:17,326 Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium 239 00:09:17,327 --> 00:09:20,865 And tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium 240 00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:25,117 And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium 241 00:09:25,176 --> 00:09:28,417 There's sulfur, californium and fermium, berkelium 242 00:09:28,418 --> 00:09:31,069 And also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium 243 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,583 And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc, and rhodium 244 00:09:33,584 --> 00:09:37,064 And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin, and sodium 245 00:09:37,065 --> 00:09:42,409 These are the only ones of which the news has come to Harvard 246 00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:46,130 And there may be many others but they haven't been discovered 247 00:09:48,726 --> 00:09:49,826 What was all that? 248 00:09:49,827 --> 00:09:51,057 It's all the chemical elements. 249 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,713 At least the ones that have come to Harvard. 250 00:09:54,182 --> 00:09:56,387 Any idea what's going on here? 251 00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:59,597 ...14201995611... 252 00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:01,491 - That's Frank. - Huge show-off. 253 00:10:01,492 --> 00:10:05,392 Always rubbing our faces in the fact that he knows the first 300 digits of pi. 254 00:10:05,393 --> 00:10:06,564 Of course. 255 00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:07,835 Hey, did you bring my sweater? 256 00:10:07,836 --> 00:10:08,757 I think so. 257 00:10:08,768 --> 00:10:10,476 It's important, Marsha. I need that sweater. 258 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:11,845 What is it, your lucky sweater? 259 00:10:11,846 --> 00:10:13,668 No, Freddie. 260 00:10:13,684 --> 00:10:17,025 Hey, is Munster gonna wear that creepy lucky tie of his at competition? 261 00:10:17,026 --> 00:10:18,485 Oh, God, I hope not. 262 00:10:18,486 --> 00:10:20,893 Supposedly, there's lucky underwear to match. 263 00:10:20,894 --> 00:10:22,146 Mental image, begone. 264 00:10:22,147 --> 00:10:23,714 I heard he lives with his mother. 265 00:10:23,715 --> 00:10:25,776 I heard he plays the trombone for fun. 266 00:10:25,777 --> 00:10:26,908 He's a liar, too-- 267 00:10:26,909 --> 00:10:29,894 he says he was a Red Sox fan, but he didn't even know they traded Damon. 268 00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:31,993 Really? He didn't know Damon was with the Yankees now? 269 00:10:31,994 --> 00:10:32,584 No. 270 00:10:32,585 --> 00:10:34,131 You see Steinbrenner made him cut his hair? 271 00:10:34,132 --> 00:10:35,638 Yeah, he looks way less scary. 272 00:10:35,639 --> 00:10:37,492 Yeah, less intimidating to pitchers. 273 00:10:37,493 --> 00:10:40,279 It's gonna shave 20 points off his batting average. 274 00:10:40,702 --> 00:10:42,043 Hey, what's that kid's name? 275 00:10:42,044 --> 00:10:43,420 Freddie. His name is Freddie. 276 00:10:43,421 --> 00:10:46,359 Freddie, Freddie, apple-brown Betty-- nice kid. 277 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,711 Yeah, well, I should study. 278 00:10:48,712 --> 00:10:50,086 You got it. 279 00:10:54,329 --> 00:10:56,893 Mr. and Mrs. Moore, your horses are saddled and ready. 280 00:10:56,894 --> 00:10:59,193 Now, Cletus is very gentle, but they're both sweethearts. 281 00:10:59,194 --> 00:11:00,844 Rob is outside to help you get started. 282 00:11:00,845 --> 00:11:02,784 - Thank you. - Okay, have fun. 283 00:11:03,421 --> 00:11:05,005 Mrs. Kim, hi. 284 00:11:05,006 --> 00:11:06,814 You let women ride horses? 285 00:11:06,815 --> 00:11:08,022 Yes. 286 00:11:10,109 --> 00:11:11,840 - I have a request. - All right. 287 00:11:11,841 --> 00:11:12,975 This is a wedding dress. 288 00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:15,853 It's the dress I wore when I married Mr. Kim 28 years ago. 289 00:11:15,854 --> 00:11:18,196 Hmm, khaki with a big zipper down the middle. 290 00:11:18,197 --> 00:11:20,380 Fashion is a fluctuating thing, huh? 291 00:11:20,381 --> 00:11:22,421 Oh, oh, the dress is inside. 292 00:11:22,422 --> 00:11:24,711 Right. I would like Lane to wear it at her wedding. 293 00:11:24,712 --> 00:11:25,535 Oh, how nice. 294 00:11:25,536 --> 00:11:27,467 But it's a tad big. Lane is smaller than me. 295 00:11:27,468 --> 00:11:29,358 It might need a hem, and the sleeves should be shortened. 296 00:11:29,359 --> 00:11:30,156 Makes sense. 297 00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:31,639 I would like you to alter it for Lane. 298 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,269 Well, of course. I would love to. 299 00:11:33,270 --> 00:11:34,305 Lane would like that, too. 300 00:11:34,306 --> 00:11:35,589 Anything for her. 301 00:11:35,590 --> 00:11:37,205 Alterations should be minor. 302 00:11:37,206 --> 00:11:39,361 Just take it in a little here and there, and that should do it. 303 00:11:39,362 --> 00:11:41,389 Okay, I'll give Lane a call and bring her in for a fitting. 304 00:11:41,390 --> 00:11:44,456 Not necessary. Here's her height and arm length-- that's all you need. 305 00:11:44,457 --> 00:11:45,790 I'll get right on it. 306 00:11:45,791 --> 00:11:46,683 Thank you. 307 00:11:46,684 --> 00:11:49,346 Do they at least ride sidesaddle, the women? 308 00:11:49,347 --> 00:11:51,127 Yes, every single one of them. 309 00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:52,308 Good. 310 00:12:01,494 --> 00:12:03,027 Uh, Paris, what's going on here? 311 00:12:03,028 --> 00:12:04,341 I just need 10 more minutes. 312 00:12:04,342 --> 00:12:07,372 I took a delete-boring-answers pass on my interview with professor Whittington 313 00:12:07,373 --> 00:12:09,858 and ended up with a tidy 16-word piece. 314 00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:12,040 His wife must want to suck a tail pipe every night. 315 00:12:12,041 --> 00:12:13,326 I'm putting stuff back in now. 316 00:12:13,327 --> 00:12:15,525 I meant with the big jar of disgusting insects. 317 00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,084 Oh. They're fruit flies. 318 00:12:17,085 --> 00:12:19,304 I'm finishing an important paper on population genetics, 319 00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:22,753 and I have to monitor how often drosophila melanogaster do the nasty. 320 00:12:22,754 --> 00:12:23,579 Gross. 321 00:12:23,580 --> 00:12:24,690 Complain to God, not me. 322 00:12:24,691 --> 00:12:26,300 Did you have to bring them into the newsroom? 323 00:12:26,301 --> 00:12:27,656 I can't just leave them home. 324 00:12:27,657 --> 00:12:29,467 They could escape and infest my apartment. 325 00:12:29,468 --> 00:12:31,453 Meaning they could escape and infest the newsroom. 326 00:12:31,454 --> 00:12:32,917 At least no one sleeps in the newsroom, 327 00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,937 and if they bring food and flies get in the food, 328 00:12:34,938 --> 00:12:37,739 maybe that's how they'll learn to follow the "no food in the newsroom" rule. 329 00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:39,341 - We don't have that rule. - We should. 330 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:41,034 - Get them out of here. - I need 9 minutes. 331 00:12:41,035 --> 00:12:42,280 - Paris. - 8 1/2. 332 00:12:42,281 --> 00:12:44,051 Come on. You want the interview, I got to keep typing. 333 00:12:44,052 --> 00:12:45,757 - Okay, 9 minutes. - Thanks. 334 00:12:45,758 --> 00:12:47,128 Hey, chief, got a minute? 335 00:12:47,129 --> 00:12:48,502 Um, a minute. 336 00:12:48,503 --> 00:12:50,031 I'm a little confused about something. 337 00:12:50,032 --> 00:12:51,053 How can I help? 338 00:12:51,054 --> 00:12:54,331 I was working on the piece about textbook prices. You assigned it to me a couple of weeks ago. 339 00:12:54,332 --> 00:12:56,525 It wasn't gonna earn me my Pulitzer, but I already put a lot of work into it, 340 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:59,556 and I just checked the server and noticed that a piece on the same topic's been written. 341 00:12:59,557 --> 00:13:00,723 Yes, it has been. 342 00:13:00,724 --> 00:13:02,724 - Our wires get crossed? - Nope. 343 00:13:02,725 --> 00:13:04,251 - Who wrote it? - I did. 344 00:13:04,252 --> 00:13:05,083 Why? 345 00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:07,278 It's topical. It affects every student. 346 00:13:07,279 --> 00:13:09,307 It's an important story. I wanted to be sure that it would get done. 347 00:13:09,308 --> 00:13:10,588 It wasn't due for two more days. 348 00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:11,907 I didn't think you'd meet the deadline. 349 00:13:11,908 --> 00:13:14,044 - Based on what? - Based on past performance. 350 00:13:14,045 --> 00:13:16,305 Past performance is no indication of future performance. 351 00:13:16,306 --> 00:13:17,958 Wise men call that a sucker's maxim. 352 00:13:17,959 --> 00:13:20,469 I did a lot of research on this thing. I interviewed textbook publishers. 353 00:13:20,470 --> 00:13:22,631 I interviewed authors. I was gonna get more quotes from students. 354 00:13:22,632 --> 00:13:24,263 I know. I used your research. 355 00:13:24,264 --> 00:13:25,443 A lot of it came in handy. 356 00:13:25,444 --> 00:13:26,029 Really? 357 00:13:26,030 --> 00:13:27,613 The stuff that I could make sense out of. 358 00:13:27,614 --> 00:13:28,339 Good. 359 00:13:28,340 --> 00:13:30,340 Look, you'll get your by-line, if that's what this is about. 360 00:13:30,341 --> 00:13:31,869 You know that's not what this is about. 361 00:13:31,870 --> 00:13:33,202 I thought I was doing you a favor. 362 00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:34,589 Everyone knew I was assigned that piece, 363 00:13:34,590 --> 00:13:36,038 and now they know it's been taken away from me. 364 00:13:36,039 --> 00:13:37,864 Logan, I'm sorry. It's as you said. 365 00:13:37,865 --> 00:13:40,276 Our wires got crossed. It happens. Let's move on. 366 00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:41,739 Okay, we'll move on. 367 00:13:42,776 --> 00:13:44,756 - And what's with this? - Keep walking, Whitey. 368 00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:46,174 You let fruit flies in the newsroom? 369 00:13:46,175 --> 00:13:47,862 - It's not hurting anybody. - It's disgusting. 370 00:13:47,863 --> 00:13:50,030 - I just need five more minutes. - Don't rush, Paris. 371 00:13:50,031 --> 00:13:51,790 The fruit flies are not hurting anybody, 372 00:13:51,791 --> 00:13:54,175 and Paris is working on something that I'm waiting on. 373 00:13:54,176 --> 00:13:56,584 I would prefer it if she weren't interrupted. 374 00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,058 Sorry, Paris. 375 00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:09,549 All right. Guys, just remind me-- who's allergic to dairy? 376 00:14:09,550 --> 00:14:11,353 There you go. No mayo. 377 00:14:11,354 --> 00:14:13,135 Who's allergic to wheat? 378 00:14:13,136 --> 00:14:15,044 There you go, Tori, bound for glory. 379 00:14:15,045 --> 00:14:16,856 - And who's low sodium? - Right here. 380 00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:19,734 There you go, apple-brown Betty Freddie, no salt. 381 00:14:22,238 --> 00:14:23,543 - Uh, hey. - Hey. 382 00:14:23,544 --> 00:14:26,829 You know, I'm still mad about that math competition. 383 00:14:26,929 --> 00:14:29,325 Those buzzers in the countdown round were rigged. 384 00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:31,300 I know they were. The judges were on the take. 385 00:14:31,301 --> 00:14:32,774 He's called a moderator, actually. 386 00:14:32,775 --> 00:14:36,462 Yeah, well, whatever they are. I'm lodging a protest. 387 00:14:36,645 --> 00:14:38,759 Luke, could we talk for a sec? 388 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:39,900 Sure. 389 00:14:43,042 --> 00:14:44,139 What's up? 390 00:14:45,546 --> 00:14:46,724 You know Freddie, right? 391 00:14:46,725 --> 00:14:48,010 Yeah, good kid. 392 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,928 Well, I-I like him. 393 00:14:49,929 --> 00:14:53,867 Oh, well, I like him, too. He seems less insane than the others. 394 00:14:53,868 --> 00:14:56,539 I don't mean like him the way you like him, I hope. 395 00:14:56,540 --> 00:14:57,475 You've known him longer. 396 00:14:57,476 --> 00:14:58,307 And I'm a girl. 397 00:14:58,308 --> 00:14:59,052 I know that. 398 00:14:59,053 --> 00:15:00,557 And he's a boy. 399 00:15:00,558 --> 00:15:01,861 I know that, too. 400 00:15:02,378 --> 00:15:03,863 Oh! You like him. 401 00:15:03,864 --> 00:15:05,125 - Shh! - Sorry. 402 00:15:05,126 --> 00:15:07,153 I'm not quite ready to proclaim it to the world yet. 403 00:15:07,154 --> 00:15:09,592 Are you old enough to like a boy? 404 00:15:09,593 --> 00:15:10,598 I'm not sure. 405 00:15:10,599 --> 00:15:13,552 I'll have to look it up in a book, see whether you're supposed to like boys yet. 406 00:15:13,553 --> 00:15:14,714 It's a fact either which way. 407 00:15:14,715 --> 00:15:16,370 Okay, so what do you want me to do? 408 00:15:16,371 --> 00:15:18,680 For starters, it would help if you stopped calling him Betty. 409 00:15:18,681 --> 00:15:19,493 Right. 410 00:15:19,494 --> 00:15:22,721 And you sitting next to me all the time is kind of getting in the way. 411 00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,692 Oh, jeez, I didn't realize. 412 00:15:24,693 --> 00:15:25,884 I know. You're pretty oblivious. 413 00:15:25,885 --> 00:15:28,411 - It seems like Freddie is-- - Don't look at him! 414 00:15:28,412 --> 00:15:31,343 Sorry. You pay less attention to Freddie than the other boys. 415 00:15:31,344 --> 00:15:32,469 It's because I like him. 416 00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:34,598 - You like him, so you ignore him? - It's the way it works. 417 00:15:34,599 --> 00:15:35,750 But you're always palling around with Kevin. 418 00:15:35,751 --> 00:15:37,075 - Kevin makes me sick. - I'm confused. 419 00:15:37,076 --> 00:15:38,944 - You're overthinking this. - I must be. 420 00:15:38,945 --> 00:15:41,306 - Don't look at him! - I'm sorry. 421 00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:46,796 Well, shouldn't be sitting next to you, then, huh? 422 00:15:46,797 --> 00:15:48,226 Maybe not. 423 00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:50,517 Guess I'll go sit with the parents. 424 00:15:50,518 --> 00:15:51,757 I think that's a good idea. 425 00:15:51,758 --> 00:15:53,109 Okay. 426 00:15:53,621 --> 00:15:56,736 You want to go back together, or should we stagger it a little? 427 00:15:56,737 --> 00:15:58,533 Give me a four-second head start. 428 00:15:58,534 --> 00:15:59,893 You got it. 429 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,225 The bottle was dry. 430 00:16:05,226 --> 00:16:06,701 You cannot be out of wild turkey. 431 00:16:06,702 --> 00:16:09,141 I've got everything else under the sun. Pick one and stop your nagging. 432 00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:10,996 You cannot be out of wild turkey. 433 00:16:10,997 --> 00:16:12,572 No matter how many times you tell me I'm not out 434 00:16:12,573 --> 00:16:13,909 doesn't change the fact that I'm out. 435 00:16:13,910 --> 00:16:15,175 Hands. 436 00:16:15,176 --> 00:16:16,249 Jerk. 437 00:16:16,250 --> 00:16:17,292 Hi, everyone. 438 00:16:17,293 --> 00:16:19,778 Hey, Rory. Get yourself a drink. Anything but wild turkey. 439 00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:20,636 I'm okay. 440 00:16:20,637 --> 00:16:22,718 Yeah, forget it. She doesn't drink on school nights. 441 00:16:22,719 --> 00:16:23,834 I sometimes do. 442 00:16:23,835 --> 00:16:26,974 I'm getting a sense that the woman of the house had no idea we were going to be here. 443 00:16:26,975 --> 00:16:27,961 Okay that we're here, love? 444 00:16:27,962 --> 00:16:28,765 Of course it's okay. 445 00:16:28,766 --> 00:16:31,364 Logan, I haven't called you love since that night in Bimini. 446 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,372 It's fine that you're here, guys. You're always welcome. 447 00:16:33,373 --> 00:16:34,276 What's with the maps? 448 00:16:34,277 --> 00:16:35,982 Graduation is imminent, Rory. 449 00:16:35,983 --> 00:16:39,153 So we are planning the Ultimate Life and Death Brigade event. 450 00:16:39,154 --> 00:16:41,111 Not only the ultimate, but the penultimate. 451 00:16:41,112 --> 00:16:43,295 Penultimate means next to last, Finn. 452 00:16:43,296 --> 00:16:44,626 This is the last one. 453 00:16:44,627 --> 00:16:46,006 I thought it meant super-ultimate. 454 00:16:46,007 --> 00:16:47,121 How did you get into Yale? 455 00:16:47,122 --> 00:16:48,072 Slept with the recruiter. 456 00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:49,081 So, what's the stunt? 457 00:16:49,082 --> 00:16:52,475 We're flown on a twin-engine plane to a remote spot in Costa Rica. 458 00:16:52,476 --> 00:16:55,720 We don parachutes, base-jump off a cliff whose height is... 459 00:16:55,721 --> 00:16:59,499 Exactly 3,624 feet, unless that's a 2. 460 00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,494 We land on the banks of the San Juan river. 461 00:17:01,495 --> 00:17:02,465 Hopefully not in the river. 462 00:17:02,466 --> 00:17:03,886 Or on the Nicaraguan side of the river. 463 00:17:03,887 --> 00:17:04,773 Or in Panama. 464 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,687 We inflate a raft, white-water three miles down to a meeting point, 465 00:17:07,688 --> 00:17:09,417 where a blowout party will take place. 466 00:17:09,418 --> 00:17:12,164 It's a 2, gents. I'm pretty sure it's a 2... or an 8. 467 00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:13,615 Where do you get the inflatable raft? 468 00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:15,472 One of us will parachute with it in our packs. 469 00:17:15,473 --> 00:17:16,920 Not me, I've got the DVD player. 470 00:17:16,921 --> 00:17:18,491 Not me, I've got the champagne and the bong. 471 00:17:18,492 --> 00:17:20,086 If I take it, it'll crush the cigars. 472 00:17:20,087 --> 00:17:22,423 Stand down, boys. I'll jump with the raft. 473 00:17:22,424 --> 00:17:24,286 You're planning this all very carefully, right? 474 00:17:24,287 --> 00:17:27,198 Luckily, we have a topographical-map expert in our midst. 475 00:17:27,199 --> 00:17:29,090 It's a 3. I'm 90% sure. 476 00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:31,824 Why don't you make extra sure you have the right number there, Robert? 477 00:17:31,825 --> 00:17:33,414 Hey, let the man do his thing. 478 00:17:33,415 --> 00:17:35,573 Well, I would if the man doing his thing weren't drunk 479 00:17:35,574 --> 00:17:38,081 and hadn't forgotten to put on his reading glasses. 480 00:17:38,082 --> 00:17:39,516 Oh, my God. I'm not wearing my glasses. 481 00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:42,668 They flew off when you did that impression of the old guy getting shot by Dick Cheney. 482 00:17:42,669 --> 00:17:44,770 Who's flying this twin-engine airplane, 483 00:17:44,771 --> 00:17:46,873 and who's supplying the parachutes? 484 00:17:46,874 --> 00:17:50,077 I mean, there must be a weight limit to make that jump, right? 485 00:17:50,078 --> 00:17:51,383 Do you guys know what the weight limit is? 486 00:17:51,384 --> 00:17:52,862 So you came home just to piss on the fun? 487 00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:55,208 No, I came home because I live here. 488 00:17:56,705 --> 00:17:59,481 You know, guys, maybe we should resume our planning another time. 489 00:17:59,482 --> 00:18:00,764 Yeah, I guess maybe we should. 490 00:18:00,765 --> 00:18:02,231 I'll never be able to refold these. 491 00:18:02,232 --> 00:18:04,477 Just grab them and let's go, Robert. 492 00:18:04,478 --> 00:18:06,122 Okay if I return this another time? 493 00:18:06,123 --> 00:18:07,439 Sure. 494 00:18:08,811 --> 00:18:09,986 Go with them if you want. 495 00:18:09,987 --> 00:18:13,773 Is it your life mission to embarrass me at every opportunity you get? 496 00:18:13,806 --> 00:18:15,765 It's Robert, Colin, and Finn, Logan. 497 00:18:15,766 --> 00:18:17,990 I've seen them all dance naked with underwear on their heads. 498 00:18:17,991 --> 00:18:19,492 There's no embarrassing you in front of them. 499 00:18:19,493 --> 00:18:21,050 Well, you embarrassed me tonight. 500 00:18:21,051 --> 00:18:24,681 How, by pointing out that the stunt you're planning doesn't exactly sound safe? 501 00:18:24,682 --> 00:18:26,661 It's called the Life and Death Brigade, Rory. 502 00:18:26,662 --> 00:18:29,228 Yeah, and you're supposed to try to avoid the death part. 503 00:18:29,229 --> 00:18:31,470 This is not your business, and why aren't you at the paper? 504 00:18:31,471 --> 00:18:33,054 You're always at the paper at this time of night. 505 00:18:33,055 --> 00:18:33,934 Finished early. 506 00:18:33,935 --> 00:18:36,775 How? You delegate a little, let people write their own articles? 507 00:18:36,776 --> 00:18:37,806 That's old news. 508 00:18:37,807 --> 00:18:40,457 It's not old news. You knew that would embarrass me, and you didn't care. 509 00:18:40,458 --> 00:18:41,104 Please. 510 00:18:41,105 --> 00:18:42,837 Even when we're together, you're someplace else. 511 00:18:42,838 --> 00:18:44,222 You leave, and you don't kiss me goodbye. 512 00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:46,307 At dinner, you're on your cellphone the whole time. 513 00:18:46,308 --> 00:18:47,958 You never leave notes anymore about where you're gonna be 514 00:18:47,959 --> 00:18:49,260 so I've no idea where you are. 515 00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:51,414 - You haven't forgiven me. - What are you talking about? 516 00:18:51,415 --> 00:18:53,134 For the girls I was with when we were separated. 517 00:18:53,135 --> 00:18:54,289 I said I forgive you. 518 00:18:54,290 --> 00:18:56,013 Yeah, you said it, but you haven't, though. 519 00:18:56,014 --> 00:18:57,594 You haven't. 520 00:18:58,041 --> 00:18:59,592 I'll be at the pub. 521 00:19:09,354 --> 00:19:10,634 Lorelai! 522 00:19:10,793 --> 00:19:11,616 Hi, Lane. 523 00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:12,478 You're in possession. 524 00:19:12,479 --> 00:19:13,123 Of what? 525 00:19:13,124 --> 00:19:13,966 Of the wedding dress. 526 00:19:13,967 --> 00:19:17,568 Oh, um, yeah. It's safe and sound. I was just starting to dig into it. 527 00:19:17,569 --> 00:19:19,973 Don't dig. Slice, kill, maim, destroy. 528 00:19:19,974 --> 00:19:20,384 What? 529 00:19:20,385 --> 00:19:23,421 Sic a mad pack of wolves on it. Douse it with lighter fluid and turn it into ash. 530 00:19:23,422 --> 00:19:24,606 I cannot wear that dress. 531 00:19:24,607 --> 00:19:26,117 Yeah, I know. It's a little old-world. 532 00:19:26,118 --> 00:19:27,564 - Have you looked at it? - Parts of it. 533 00:19:27,565 --> 00:19:29,355 Exactly. You can't take it in at once. 534 00:19:29,356 --> 00:19:30,948 The human eyeball is not capable. 535 00:19:30,949 --> 00:19:33,157 - It's not that bad. - It's got pants. 536 00:19:33,158 --> 00:19:33,928 No! 537 00:19:33,929 --> 00:19:35,551 You didn't look at it very carefully. 538 00:19:35,552 --> 00:19:37,067 Well, I will remove the pants. 539 00:19:37,068 --> 00:19:40,484 Oh, it's every girl's dream to hear the woman altering her wedding dress say, 540 00:19:40,485 --> 00:19:41,531 "I'll remove the pants." 541 00:19:41,532 --> 00:19:43,251 I'm sure once I alter it a little-- 542 00:19:43,252 --> 00:19:46,149 No, don't alter it. Have an accident. Leave a warm iron on it. 543 00:19:46,150 --> 00:19:48,156 Spill a vat of acid on it. Run your car over it. 544 00:19:48,157 --> 00:19:49,904 Lane, Lane, I haven't even put it on the mannequin yet. 545 00:19:49,905 --> 00:19:51,148 Now, let me start work on it, 546 00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:54,650 and I will keep you fully posted every step of the way and-- 547 00:19:54,651 --> 00:19:57,386 - Oh, my God... - What? My mom? 548 00:19:57,387 --> 00:20:00,193 No, my mom and dad. I thought I saw something. 549 00:20:00,194 --> 00:20:03,435 Well, focus, focus. Important topic we're discussing here. 550 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:04,884 All right, I got to run. I'll call you later. 551 00:20:04,885 --> 00:20:06,246 Lorelai! 552 00:20:11,404 --> 00:20:12,717 I'm not above bribing. 553 00:20:12,718 --> 00:20:14,280 Ah, Lane, don't sneak up on me like that. 554 00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,930 It's all about the Hamiltons, baby. 555 00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:17,745 You can't pay me to ruin your dress. 556 00:20:17,746 --> 00:20:20,320 Look, forget about your parents for a minute and concentrate on this. 557 00:20:20,321 --> 00:20:22,152 Wait, so you saw them, too? I'm not insane? 558 00:20:22,153 --> 00:20:23,379 They've been walking around town all morning. 559 00:20:23,380 --> 00:20:25,456 All morning? Any guess as to why? 560 00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:26,868 Shred the dress, and I'll tell you. 561 00:20:26,869 --> 00:20:27,857 Do you really know why? 562 00:20:27,858 --> 00:20:28,368 No. 563 00:20:28,369 --> 00:20:30,114 Well, then I'm not gonna ruin the dress. 564 00:20:30,249 --> 00:20:32,150 Well, I did see them talking to Kirk earlier. 565 00:20:32,151 --> 00:20:32,912 Kirk? 566 00:20:32,913 --> 00:20:34,597 Yeah, and he was wearing his maroon jacket. 567 00:20:34,598 --> 00:20:37,963 His real-estate jacket. This is not good! This is not good! 568 00:20:37,964 --> 00:20:41,650 My life is in your hands. I don't think you're fully comprehending that fact. 569 00:20:48,846 --> 00:20:50,346 I guess I'm going. 570 00:20:50,636 --> 00:20:51,762 Okay. 571 00:20:52,301 --> 00:20:54,780 I'll be out of cellphone range for a couple days. 572 00:20:54,781 --> 00:20:56,137 I know. 573 00:20:58,196 --> 00:20:59,495 I'll see you. 574 00:21:05,744 --> 00:21:07,020 Kirk! 575 00:21:10,392 --> 00:21:12,334 - Kirk! - Mask! 576 00:21:12,385 --> 00:21:13,275 What? 577 00:21:13,276 --> 00:21:14,423 Mask. 578 00:21:14,424 --> 00:21:15,538 What is this? 579 00:21:15,539 --> 00:21:19,029 I've done it, Lorelai. I finally landed my first listing. 580 00:21:19,030 --> 00:21:20,532 Where are my parents? 581 00:21:20,533 --> 00:21:23,983 This is the beginning of my rise to the top of the real-estate industry. 582 00:21:23,984 --> 00:21:25,184 Where are my parents? 583 00:21:25,185 --> 00:21:27,896 Do you happen to be in the market for a house? 'Cause this baby's a honey. 584 00:21:27,897 --> 00:21:29,117 Something in the corner just moved. 585 00:21:29,118 --> 00:21:32,134 Just a rat. I'd have told you about them before you bought the place. 586 00:21:32,135 --> 00:21:35,997 The law also requires me to inform you that the house has toxic mold, 587 00:21:35,998 --> 00:21:38,209 asbestos, methane gas, 588 00:21:38,210 --> 00:21:41,106 buckling floors, a crumbling foundation, 589 00:21:41,107 --> 00:21:43,806 visible fungus, a collapsed fireplace, 590 00:21:43,807 --> 00:21:45,812 ceiling damage, water damage, 591 00:21:45,813 --> 00:21:48,060 and it was the recent site of a Wicca convention 592 00:21:48,061 --> 00:21:50,910 and a particularly grisly murder/suicide-- 593 00:21:50,911 --> 00:21:52,193 nothing we can't work with. 594 00:21:52,194 --> 00:21:53,323 I'm not in the market, Kirk. 595 00:21:53,324 --> 00:21:56,805 Now, listen, I know my parents are shopping for houses. Lane saw you with them. 596 00:21:56,806 --> 00:21:58,246 And I need to know where they are right now. 597 00:21:58,247 --> 00:22:00,281 I'm sorry. That's confidential information. 598 00:22:00,282 --> 00:22:02,404 In fact, the fact that I was with them was confidential. 599 00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:06,029 So I'm gonna have to ask you to pretend that I haven't already confirmed that I was with them, 600 00:22:06,030 --> 00:22:07,212 which I wasn't. 601 00:22:07,213 --> 00:22:08,402 God, what was that? 602 00:22:08,403 --> 00:22:12,952 Bat. Don't worry. When you spray for cockroaches, the bats die, too, usually. 603 00:22:12,953 --> 00:22:16,177 At the very least, it knocks the wind out of them so they wind up wobbling on the floor, 604 00:22:16,178 --> 00:22:18,859 so you can just whack them with a hammer-- nothing we can't work with. 605 00:22:18,860 --> 00:22:20,859 Kirk, I am your friend, but they are my parents, 606 00:22:20,860 --> 00:22:23,269 and I need to find them right now. It's important. 607 00:22:23,270 --> 00:22:25,678 Well, I shouldn't tell you this, but 608 00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:28,375 I know they were looking at two properties on Maple Drive. 609 00:22:28,376 --> 00:22:30,066 They're probably around there right now. 610 00:22:30,067 --> 00:22:32,502 Too bad I couldn't get them interested in this property. 611 00:22:32,503 --> 00:22:34,223 It has great bones. 612 00:22:34,224 --> 00:22:36,704 Literally. There's an Indian burial ground underneath it. 613 00:22:36,705 --> 00:22:38,094 Thanks. See ya. 614 00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:42,142 Don't run. It scares the bat. 615 00:23:15,837 --> 00:23:19,307 Mom, dad! Wow, what are you doing here? 616 00:23:19,308 --> 00:23:20,867 Hey, did we have something set up? 617 00:23:20,868 --> 00:23:22,249 - Uh, no. - No. 618 00:23:22,250 --> 00:23:23,776 No? Then what's up? 619 00:23:23,777 --> 00:23:27,199 - Well, we're here to, um... - Do a little antiquing. 620 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:28,613 - Antiquing. - Right, antiquing. 621 00:23:28,614 --> 00:23:31,400 We're hitting Litchfield, Woodbridge, Washington depot. 622 00:23:31,401 --> 00:23:34,800 Well, we have some great antique stores right here in little old Stars Hollow. 623 00:23:34,801 --> 00:23:35,815 That's what brings us. 624 00:23:35,816 --> 00:23:37,170 So you've been to Madison House? 625 00:23:37,171 --> 00:23:37,643 Where? 626 00:23:37,644 --> 00:23:40,289 Madison House. Oh, amazing stuff, lots of colonial. 627 00:23:40,290 --> 00:23:43,559 It's not in my price range, but I love to browse around. 628 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:44,552 I'll take you there right now. 629 00:23:44,553 --> 00:23:47,242 Oh, uh, I don't know if now is a good time. 630 00:23:47,243 --> 00:23:48,607 We have an appointment to keep. 631 00:23:48,608 --> 00:23:51,328 An appointment? Huh, I thought you were just walking around shopping. 632 00:23:51,329 --> 00:23:55,781 We are. We made an appointment at an appointments-only antique shop. 633 00:23:55,782 --> 00:23:56,879 We have those here? 634 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,769 Obviously you do, because we have an appointment at 1:00. 635 00:23:59,770 --> 00:24:00,733 Well, I'll go with you. 636 00:24:00,734 --> 00:24:01,992 They're only expecting two of us. 637 00:24:01,993 --> 00:24:05,417 Well, they can squeeze in one more. Promise I won't break anything. 638 00:24:05,418 --> 00:24:06,422 Come on, take me there. 639 00:24:06,423 --> 00:24:09,004 It's actually not for a while, so we can't take you there now. 640 00:24:09,005 --> 00:24:12,239 Perfect. Then we'll hit Madison House first. It's just a 10-minute walk. Come on. 641 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,076 All right. Lead the way. 642 00:24:14,077 --> 00:24:18,093 Cool. You know, I'd say let's drive, but our streets-- forget about it. 643 00:24:18,094 --> 00:24:18,920 What about the streets? 644 00:24:18,921 --> 00:24:21,926 Oh, they're clogged night and day. Yep, total gridlock. 645 00:24:21,927 --> 00:24:24,675 It's not gonna help when they build that big box store. 646 00:24:24,676 --> 00:24:25,753 They're building a box store? 647 00:24:25,754 --> 00:24:27,310 Oh, yeah, right in the center of town. 648 00:24:27,311 --> 00:24:28,226 Those things are hideous. 649 00:24:28,227 --> 00:24:30,780 Yeah, it's gonna wipe out all our local businesses. 650 00:24:30,781 --> 00:24:33,042 This place will be a ghost town. Ooh, hold your breath. 651 00:24:34,092 --> 00:24:36,267 Oh, god, sorry. Sewer problems. 652 00:24:36,268 --> 00:24:38,248 Your public-works department needs to be notified. 653 00:24:38,249 --> 00:24:40,613 No, they're on strike. Well, they're always on strike. 654 00:24:40,888 --> 00:24:41,789 Excuse me. 655 00:24:41,790 --> 00:24:42,959 Allergies? 656 00:24:43,090 --> 00:24:44,257 Meth lab. 657 00:25:01,670 --> 00:25:03,106 We need our own bar. 658 00:25:03,107 --> 00:25:05,146 You say it like I'm fighting. I'm not fighting you. 659 00:25:05,147 --> 00:25:05,885 Same here. 660 00:25:05,886 --> 00:25:09,702 We need a public place where the next De Kooning can run into the next Franz Kline 661 00:25:09,703 --> 00:25:14,221 and dis the next Jackson Pollock while the next Charlie Parker shoots up in the corner. 662 00:25:14,222 --> 00:25:15,343 So a nice family place. 663 00:25:15,344 --> 00:25:18,491 I'm not kidding. We'll call it "Cedar bar redux." 664 00:25:18,492 --> 00:25:20,572 I would kick my own ass if we called it that. 665 00:25:20,573 --> 00:25:23,891 Why don't we call it "Devoid of original ideas poseur bar"? 666 00:25:23,892 --> 00:25:25,815 Go to hell, both of you. 667 00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:27,929 Hey, come back for a hug, man. 668 00:25:27,930 --> 00:25:30,059 Hey, there's Alicia Matheson from the Weekly. 669 00:25:30,060 --> 00:25:32,611 Whoa. Grab Matthew. Get him off the bar thing. 670 00:25:32,612 --> 00:25:34,485 Have him show her around. That's what he does best. 671 00:25:34,486 --> 00:25:36,099 Cedar bar redux. 672 00:25:41,555 --> 00:25:43,043 So my eyes don't deceive me. 673 00:25:43,044 --> 00:25:44,849 First thing's first. What the hell is that? 674 00:25:44,850 --> 00:25:46,206 It's an abstract painting. 675 00:25:46,207 --> 00:25:47,833 But what is it supposed to be? 676 00:25:47,834 --> 00:25:49,754 - Check the title. - I did. It's called "untitled." 677 00:25:49,755 --> 00:25:51,217 - There you go. - I give up. 678 00:25:51,218 --> 00:25:53,750 - So you got the invite. - I got the invite. 679 00:25:53,751 --> 00:25:54,917 I guess I didn't think you'd come. 680 00:25:54,918 --> 00:25:56,537 - You guessed wrong, nephew. - Cool. 681 00:25:56,538 --> 00:25:57,472 So you want the tour? 682 00:25:57,473 --> 00:25:58,364 Give me a tour. 683 00:25:58,365 --> 00:26:00,652 All right, well, this is where we work, Truncheon books. 684 00:26:00,653 --> 00:26:04,853 There's usually desks and crap piled up everywhere, but we cleaned up for today. 685 00:26:04,854 --> 00:26:06,816 Those are the books that we put out. 686 00:26:06,817 --> 00:26:08,835 We publish our zine once a month, 687 00:26:08,836 --> 00:26:12,120 except last august, when my partner forgot to pay the printer. 688 00:26:12,121 --> 00:26:16,822 We let local artists hang their stuff up without ripping them off on commissions. 689 00:26:16,823 --> 00:26:20,351 We do performances over there, and a few of us live upstairs. 690 00:26:20,352 --> 00:26:23,010 That you don't want to see. It's a disaster zone. 691 00:26:23,011 --> 00:26:24,322 - This is yours, right? - Yeah. 692 00:26:24,323 --> 00:26:25,895 I wanted to get it, but I couldn't find it. 693 00:26:25,896 --> 00:26:27,478 Yeah, it's not exactly "The Da Vinci Code." 694 00:26:27,479 --> 00:26:29,789 Well, I will definitely get it today. 695 00:26:30,405 --> 00:26:32,942 By the way, that is your cousin. 696 00:26:32,943 --> 00:26:35,814 Right, Liz filled me in on all that, daddy. 697 00:26:35,815 --> 00:26:37,225 She just calls me Luke. 698 00:26:37,226 --> 00:26:38,558 Total brain. 699 00:26:38,559 --> 00:26:39,725 You confirm paternity? 700 00:26:39,726 --> 00:26:41,016 Don't be a wiseass. 701 00:26:41,017 --> 00:26:42,022 Hey, April. 702 00:26:42,023 --> 00:26:43,560 I want you to meet somebody. 703 00:26:44,511 --> 00:26:47,418 Meet your cousin Jess. He's my sister's kid. 704 00:26:47,419 --> 00:26:48,920 - Hi. - Hey. 705 00:26:49,582 --> 00:26:51,035 Men in this family aren't chatty. 706 00:26:51,036 --> 00:26:52,263 Sorry. 707 00:26:52,264 --> 00:26:54,050 I'm gonna go explore a little more. 708 00:26:54,051 --> 00:26:55,384 Cool. 709 00:26:55,942 --> 00:26:57,462 How are you adjusting to all that? 710 00:26:57,463 --> 00:27:00,608 Okay, I guess. I like her, and she just sort of tolerates me. 711 00:27:00,609 --> 00:27:01,415 Seems like it. 712 00:27:01,416 --> 00:27:02,621 Thanks for the perspective. 713 00:27:02,622 --> 00:27:03,625 That's why I'm here. 714 00:27:03,626 --> 00:27:06,690 Hey, come on. I got some sculpture over here you're really gonna hate. 715 00:27:08,223 --> 00:27:10,102 Ooh, that garbage smell. 716 00:27:10,103 --> 00:27:12,005 - What garbage smell? - I don't smell garbage. 717 00:27:12,006 --> 00:27:14,090 Yeah, the wind shifted right after I said it. 718 00:27:14,091 --> 00:27:16,726 Allowing a landfill within a mile of city limits-- crazy. 719 00:27:16,727 --> 00:27:17,858 It's within a mile? 720 00:27:17,859 --> 00:27:19,783 Yeah, destroying everyone's land values. 721 00:27:19,784 --> 00:27:20,987 Oh, well. Where did you park? 722 00:27:20,988 --> 00:27:22,033 Over on Peach Street. 723 00:27:22,034 --> 00:27:24,324 - Oh, you mean Carjack Lane? - Carjack Lane? 724 00:27:24,325 --> 00:27:26,456 Better than Chop Shop Alley. Here, follow me. 725 00:27:26,457 --> 00:27:28,736 Oh, god, watch out for the pothole. 726 00:27:28,737 --> 00:27:33,783 Ooh, I tell you. The roads are just the things in between potholes in this town, huh? 727 00:27:33,784 --> 00:27:34,415 Oh, dear. 728 00:27:34,416 --> 00:27:36,642 You should talk to your mayor about all these issues, Lorelai. 729 00:27:36,643 --> 00:27:37,599 You mean Gropey McGee? 730 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:40,424 I cannot, will not ever put myself in that position again. 731 00:27:40,425 --> 00:27:42,018 Mind if we stop by the store? 732 00:27:43,658 --> 00:27:46,759 Well, I'm running low on a lot of basics, and I just want to see if they got them in. 733 00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,112 This is a cute little store. 734 00:27:48,113 --> 00:27:51,262 Well, if you can be cute and unclean at the same time. 735 00:27:51,263 --> 00:27:52,191 All right, let's see. 736 00:27:52,192 --> 00:27:54,309 No. No. 737 00:27:54,310 --> 00:27:57,173 No. Nope, and this is the only store in town. 738 00:27:57,174 --> 00:27:58,176 What are you looking for? 739 00:27:58,177 --> 00:28:00,254 What am I looking for? Everything. They have nothing. 740 00:28:00,255 --> 00:28:03,078 The little they have is off-brands, which wouldn't be so galling, 741 00:28:03,079 --> 00:28:06,069 except everything's so far past its expiration date. 742 00:28:06,070 --> 00:28:09,231 Hey, help yourself to some Little George's chips. Yum, yum. 743 00:28:09,232 --> 00:28:10,716 Little George-- pass. 744 00:28:10,717 --> 00:28:13,562 Oh, and look. Here we have some aunt Molly's ice cream. 745 00:28:13,563 --> 00:28:16,027 You'll notice there's no picture of aunt Molly on the carton. 746 00:28:16,028 --> 00:28:17,621 I googled her and got a mug shot, 747 00:28:17,622 --> 00:28:20,531 and all I could think was, "I hope she hasn't been selling that stuff to kids." 748 00:28:20,532 --> 00:28:22,510 Excuse me. Lorelai, what are you doing? 749 00:28:22,511 --> 00:28:23,507 Shopping, Taylor. Why? 750 00:28:23,508 --> 00:28:25,578 You're walking around disparaging my store, 751 00:28:25,579 --> 00:28:28,011 and not only is that insulting, it's against the law. 752 00:28:28,012 --> 00:28:28,865 Against the law? 753 00:28:28,866 --> 00:28:33,904 Code 14/B/14 triple backslash X-8 754 00:28:33,905 --> 00:28:37,765 state that a citizen of Stars Hollow cannot denigrate Stars Hollow 755 00:28:37,766 --> 00:28:40,625 while standing on Stars Hollow soil. 756 00:28:40,626 --> 00:28:42,997 It was established in 1792. 757 00:28:42,998 --> 00:28:45,767 The original penalty was death by 40 muskets. 758 00:28:45,768 --> 00:28:47,259 Really, Taylor, you misheard me. 759 00:28:47,260 --> 00:28:49,391 You made a crude joke about aunt Molly. 760 00:28:49,392 --> 00:28:51,370 Well, you got to admit, aunt Molly had it coming. 761 00:28:51,371 --> 00:28:53,127 I don't joke about aunt Molly. 762 00:28:53,128 --> 00:28:54,300 Can you say BTK? 763 00:28:54,301 --> 00:28:56,828 As town mayor, I could cite you on the spot. 764 00:28:56,829 --> 00:28:58,838 This is Gropey McGee? 765 00:28:58,839 --> 00:29:00,227 I beg your pardon. 766 00:29:00,228 --> 00:29:02,292 Oh, look at the time. Excuse me all, will you? 767 00:29:02,293 --> 00:29:03,194 Mom, where you going? 768 00:29:03,195 --> 00:29:04,888 I'm just going to get something out of the car. 769 00:29:04,889 --> 00:29:06,572 No, mom. Mom, you don't know the safe streets. 770 00:29:06,573 --> 00:29:08,473 You walk down the wrong one, you die. 771 00:29:09,550 --> 00:29:11,645 Commence writing me up, Taylor. 772 00:29:11,812 --> 00:29:14,688 Benzedrine and a muscled fist, 773 00:29:14,689 --> 00:29:19,930 turn to hand, turn to handout, turned fish and loaves and a lazy day in Galilee. 774 00:29:19,931 --> 00:29:23,087 Herman Melville, poet, customs officer, 775 00:29:23,088 --> 00:29:27,511 rubber stamps, and Hawthorne daydreams craving Tahiti 776 00:29:27,512 --> 00:29:30,319 and simple sun and the light of the Berkshires. 777 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,640 Is this any good? 778 00:29:31,747 --> 00:29:33,504 I don't know what she's gonna write. 779 00:29:33,569 --> 00:29:35,354 We're not supposed to know what she's gonna write. 780 00:29:35,355 --> 00:29:37,047 She's a member of the independent press. 781 00:29:37,048 --> 00:29:40,018 She played it close to the vest, you know. I hate that. 782 00:29:40,019 --> 00:29:41,892 Go get a beer. Stop obsessing. 783 00:29:47,812 --> 00:29:50,045 Well, isn't this a day of surprises? 784 00:29:55,403 --> 00:29:57,343 I didn't RSVP. Sorry. 785 00:29:57,344 --> 00:30:00,028 Ah, this isn't an RSVP type thing. 786 00:30:00,029 --> 00:30:01,012 Showing up's cool. 787 00:30:01,013 --> 00:30:01,902 Good thing. 788 00:30:01,903 --> 00:30:03,382 So this is Truncheon books? 789 00:30:03,383 --> 00:30:05,714 Yeah. This is Truncheon. 790 00:30:05,715 --> 00:30:06,799 I like it. 791 00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,452 It makes me feel like I want to create something. 792 00:30:09,453 --> 00:30:11,169 Give me a pen. Give me a brush. 793 00:30:11,170 --> 00:30:12,131 That's Luke. 794 00:30:12,132 --> 00:30:16,715 Yeah, there's a definite "Jess Mariano, this is your life" vibe here today. 795 00:30:16,734 --> 00:30:18,099 Hey, Luke. 796 00:30:18,187 --> 00:30:19,626 - Bicycle? - No. 797 00:30:19,627 --> 00:30:20,921 Rory, hi. What are you doing here? 798 00:30:20,922 --> 00:30:22,091 Same thing you're doing here. 799 00:30:22,092 --> 00:30:23,681 Your books are really easy to skim. 800 00:30:23,682 --> 00:30:25,122 Thanks. That'll make a nice blurb. 801 00:30:25,123 --> 00:30:26,746 I was gonna take off, actually. 802 00:30:26,747 --> 00:30:29,826 Uh, I got to get something. Don't leave till I get back. It'll just be a minute. 803 00:30:29,827 --> 00:30:31,259 Okay. 804 00:30:31,768 --> 00:30:33,273 You have a great face. 805 00:30:33,274 --> 00:30:34,369 Thanks. So do you. 806 00:30:34,370 --> 00:30:37,151 Yeah, uh, Rory, this is April. 807 00:30:37,152 --> 00:30:39,865 Oh, April. Hello there, April. 808 00:30:39,866 --> 00:30:41,000 Hi. 809 00:30:41,001 --> 00:30:42,155 The famous April. 810 00:30:42,156 --> 00:30:42,909 I'm famous? 811 00:30:42,910 --> 00:30:43,595 Kind of. 812 00:30:43,596 --> 00:30:46,026 Uh, April, Rory's an old friend. 813 00:30:46,027 --> 00:30:46,912 She doesn't look old. 814 00:30:46,913 --> 00:30:50,616 I mean, I've known her well since she was your age. 815 00:30:50,617 --> 00:30:51,725 She's from Stars Hollow. 816 00:30:51,726 --> 00:30:56,044 She's actually the daughter of the woman I'm with, my fiancé, Lorelai. 817 00:30:56,045 --> 00:30:59,641 You met her that one time. It's kind of complicated. 818 00:30:59,642 --> 00:31:00,362 I'll say... 819 00:31:00,363 --> 00:31:02,414 You probably want to get back to that boyfriend of yours, right? 820 00:31:02,415 --> 00:31:04,841 He's not my boyfriend. Jeez. 821 00:31:05,015 --> 00:31:06,829 Hey, Luke, come here. 822 00:31:07,803 --> 00:31:08,988 Here. 823 00:31:09,315 --> 00:31:12,105 Oh, let me-- let me buy this. That way, you would get the money. 824 00:31:12,106 --> 00:31:13,411 Ah, it's okay. 825 00:31:13,412 --> 00:31:14,355 What's this? 826 00:31:14,356 --> 00:31:15,552 It's what's owed. 827 00:31:15,553 --> 00:31:16,849 You owe me nothing. 828 00:31:16,850 --> 00:31:18,115 I owe you. 829 00:31:18,116 --> 00:31:21,566 Take it. If you rip it up, I'm just gonna send another. 830 00:31:22,499 --> 00:31:25,907 I'm very proud of you, of this, of what you're going for here. 831 00:31:25,908 --> 00:31:28,556 I don't get all of it, but I'm me. 832 00:31:28,557 --> 00:31:29,594 Thanks. 833 00:31:32,273 --> 00:31:35,555 All I said was that I liked him. I realized it was a mistake as soon as I said it. 834 00:31:35,556 --> 00:31:36,938 We should get going. 835 00:31:37,114 --> 00:31:37,995 Nice meeting you. 836 00:31:37,996 --> 00:31:40,093 Nice meeting you, too. Good luck with everything. 837 00:31:40,094 --> 00:31:41,652 - Congratulations. - Okay, thanks. 838 00:31:41,653 --> 00:31:43,275 - See ya. - Bye. 839 00:31:46,048 --> 00:31:47,576 So you here alone? 840 00:31:47,747 --> 00:31:48,964 I guess. 841 00:31:48,999 --> 00:31:50,247 Cool. 842 00:31:50,712 --> 00:31:51,799 Come on. 843 00:31:54,176 --> 00:31:56,743 Oh, well, we'll be lucky to get a table. 844 00:31:56,744 --> 00:31:58,406 There's absolutely nowhere else to eat in town, 845 00:31:58,407 --> 00:32:01,589 and even being Luke's fiancé doesn't guarantee me a meal when I want one. 846 00:32:01,590 --> 00:32:03,124 Oh, great, more customers. 847 00:32:03,125 --> 00:32:04,782 Well, there seem to be a few tables available. 848 00:32:04,783 --> 00:32:06,469 None of the good ones, unfortunately. 849 00:32:06,470 --> 00:32:08,866 All right, you phoned mom, you told her to meet us here. What, is she late? 850 00:32:08,867 --> 00:32:10,439 No, she's right there. 851 00:32:10,621 --> 00:32:13,099 Oh, all right. What is wrong with this picture? 852 00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:13,820 They're playing cards. 853 00:32:13,821 --> 00:32:15,708 Yeah, I can see that. But who is that she's playing with? 854 00:32:15,709 --> 00:32:17,897 I have no idea. Do they have ham here? 855 00:32:17,898 --> 00:32:18,773 Ham? Sure. 856 00:32:18,774 --> 00:32:21,421 Get me a ham and Swiss on rye, dry, nothing on it. 857 00:32:21,422 --> 00:32:23,548 - Where are you going? - I'll be back in a bit. 858 00:32:23,549 --> 00:32:25,376 Dad, wa-- dad. 859 00:32:27,259 --> 00:32:29,343 Do you have any 8s? 860 00:32:29,344 --> 00:32:30,259 Go fish. 861 00:32:30,260 --> 00:32:32,672 Oh, you. I was sure you had 8s. 862 00:32:32,673 --> 00:32:34,578 - Hi, Lorelai. - Hi, mom. What you doing? 863 00:32:34,579 --> 00:32:37,015 Oh, Sissy and I are playing go fish. She's good, too. 864 00:32:37,016 --> 00:32:39,096 - It's your turn. - Do you have any jacks? 865 00:32:39,147 --> 00:32:42,367 Unbelievable. She's won three games in a row. She's a little champ. 866 00:32:42,368 --> 00:32:44,503 - I keep getting lucky. - It's not luck. 867 00:32:44,504 --> 00:32:46,843 You said she was smart, but this is something else. 868 00:32:46,844 --> 00:32:48,459 - You get to go again. - Oh, my God, mom? 869 00:32:48,460 --> 00:32:49,844 Do you have any 3s? 870 00:32:49,845 --> 00:32:51,675 Nope. Go fish. 871 00:32:51,751 --> 00:32:53,325 Mom, who do you think this is? 872 00:32:53,326 --> 00:32:54,682 Luke's daughter. 873 00:32:56,181 --> 00:32:57,114 Isn't it? 874 00:32:57,115 --> 00:32:57,901 No. 875 00:32:57,902 --> 00:32:59,276 You're not Luke's daughter? 876 00:32:59,358 --> 00:33:01,886 I don't believe this. This isn't Luke's daughter? 877 00:33:01,887 --> 00:33:03,327 It's definitely not Luke's daughter. 878 00:33:03,328 --> 00:33:05,207 And here I was bonding with it. 879 00:33:05,208 --> 00:33:06,961 Who is this? Who are you? 880 00:33:06,962 --> 00:33:08,939 Never mind, honey. Do you live close by? 881 00:33:08,940 --> 00:33:09,726 Two blocks. 882 00:33:09,727 --> 00:33:12,065 Okay. Why don't you go home where it's safe? 883 00:33:12,066 --> 00:33:13,225 Okay. 884 00:33:14,058 --> 00:33:17,181 You're telling me I played this insipid game for a half an hour 885 00:33:17,182 --> 00:33:18,385 and it's not even Luke's daughter? 886 00:33:18,386 --> 00:33:19,731 What made you think it was Luke's daughter? 887 00:33:19,732 --> 00:33:21,506 Well, it told me it was someone's daughter here. 888 00:33:21,507 --> 00:33:23,244 Well, she must have meant someone in town. 889 00:33:23,245 --> 00:33:24,915 Well, then she's a moron. 890 00:33:24,916 --> 00:33:27,450 Why would I play cards if there wasn't a family connection? 891 00:33:27,451 --> 00:33:29,170 I guess she just thought you were being nice. 892 00:33:29,171 --> 00:33:31,421 The little idiot kept tipping her cards so I could see them. 893 00:33:31,422 --> 00:33:34,975 So I pretended I didn't and specifically asked for what I knew she didn't have. 894 00:33:34,976 --> 00:33:35,784 The kid's a moron. 895 00:33:35,785 --> 00:33:37,139 Okay, mom. She's gone now. 896 00:33:37,140 --> 00:33:39,308 Is it so stupid to think that she's Luke's daughter? 897 00:33:39,309 --> 00:33:40,406 She looks like Luke. 898 00:33:40,407 --> 00:33:42,856 Mom, you can trust me that there will be no contact 899 00:33:42,857 --> 00:33:44,815 between you and Luke's daughter anytime soon. 900 00:33:44,816 --> 00:33:45,621 What does that mean? 901 00:33:45,622 --> 00:33:47,255 It means that I don't even see her. 902 00:33:47,256 --> 00:33:48,589 Luke and I have an arrangement. 903 00:33:48,590 --> 00:33:49,754 What kind of arrangement? 904 00:33:49,755 --> 00:33:53,988 Well, he-- I mean, you know, we mutually decided 905 00:33:53,989 --> 00:33:56,282 that I probably shouldn't have any contact with her. 906 00:33:56,283 --> 00:33:58,039 What? That's ridiculous. 907 00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,146 No, it is what it is. It's what we want. 908 00:34:00,147 --> 00:34:02,493 Lorelai, you and Luke are in a relationship. 909 00:34:02,494 --> 00:34:04,864 You're going to be husband and wife, and Sissy's his daughter. 910 00:34:04,865 --> 00:34:06,864 No, no. That was Sissy. April is his daughter. 911 00:34:06,865 --> 00:34:09,758 You know what I mean. You have to have a relationship with this girl. 912 00:34:09,759 --> 00:34:10,781 It's imperative. 913 00:34:10,782 --> 00:34:12,161 Mom, you don't know the whole story. 914 00:34:12,162 --> 00:34:13,737 But I know your handiwork when I see it-- 915 00:34:13,738 --> 00:34:16,005 playing cautious when you should be diving in. 916 00:34:16,006 --> 00:34:19,330 That girl is his blood relation, and you need to get to know her. 917 00:34:19,331 --> 00:34:21,594 You'll be in her life for the rest of your life. 918 00:34:21,595 --> 00:34:22,872 Mom, it isn't just me. 919 00:34:22,873 --> 00:34:25,058 I can't believe Luke is letting you get away with this. 920 00:34:25,059 --> 00:34:27,103 The sooner you embrace your role in this girl's life, 921 00:34:27,104 --> 00:34:29,337 the better off you'll be, mark my words. 922 00:34:29,338 --> 00:34:30,185 Where's your father? 923 00:34:30,186 --> 00:34:31,717 He ran off to something. 924 00:34:31,718 --> 00:34:33,898 That's right. We had another appointment. I'll find him. 925 00:34:33,899 --> 00:34:36,322 Then we have to leave. He needs to get back to work. 926 00:34:36,323 --> 00:34:37,184 All right, goodbye, mom. 927 00:34:37,185 --> 00:34:38,456 Goodbye. 928 00:34:38,631 --> 00:34:42,250 You. You could have told me that wasn't Luke's daughter. 929 00:34:42,503 --> 00:34:44,013 I hate customers. 930 00:34:47,761 --> 00:34:50,090 All I'm saying is, control your poet. 931 00:34:50,091 --> 00:34:51,642 So suddenly he's my poet. 932 00:34:51,643 --> 00:34:52,982 He changed up on us. 933 00:34:52,983 --> 00:34:55,199 He wasn't supposed to premiere new material tonight. 934 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:56,008 It wasn't bad. 935 00:34:56,009 --> 00:34:57,704 - It was rambling. - It was a little rambling. 936 00:34:57,705 --> 00:35:00,328 And what was that whole part about desiring Golda Meir? 937 00:35:00,329 --> 00:35:02,891 Please tell me that was symbolic. 938 00:35:02,952 --> 00:35:04,421 I'll talk to my poet. 939 00:35:05,626 --> 00:35:09,701 Hey, we're hitting that bar that we're not going to call "Cedar bar redux." 940 00:35:09,702 --> 00:35:10,375 You coming? 941 00:35:10,376 --> 00:35:12,039 Yeah, maybe. 942 00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,110 You know, go on ahead. I'll catch up. 943 00:35:23,654 --> 00:35:25,888 You know, you don't have to read it again. 944 00:35:25,889 --> 00:35:27,198 I know I don't. 945 00:35:27,199 --> 00:35:29,125 God, there are so many things I would change in it. 946 00:35:29,126 --> 00:35:29,887 Like what? 947 00:35:29,888 --> 00:35:33,676 I'd keep the back cover. Everything else goes. 948 00:35:33,677 --> 00:35:35,411 - You know why I love your book? - Why? 949 00:35:35,412 --> 00:35:37,428 It doesn't remind me of anything. 950 00:35:37,429 --> 00:35:38,832 It's not a rip-off. It's just you. 951 00:35:38,833 --> 00:35:41,041 High praise, Miss Yale editor. 952 00:35:41,042 --> 00:35:43,526 Yeah, well, I don't get to write as much as I would like. 953 00:35:43,527 --> 00:35:48,324 I am mostly assigning and motivating, hand-holding, and rewriting. 954 00:35:48,325 --> 00:35:51,067 Yeah, and you love it, every minute of it. Come on, tell me you don't. 955 00:35:51,068 --> 00:35:54,405 I do. I do love it. It's exciting. 956 00:35:54,457 --> 00:35:56,857 Yeah, you look happier than when I saw you last. 957 00:35:56,858 --> 00:35:58,216 I am. 958 00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:01,361 So you fixed everything? 959 00:36:01,362 --> 00:36:03,753 Yeah, everything's fixed. 960 00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:06,548 I'm glad you're here. 961 00:36:06,926 --> 00:36:08,548 Yeah, me too. 962 00:36:18,826 --> 00:36:19,854 What? 963 00:36:19,855 --> 00:36:20,974 I'm sorry. 964 00:36:20,975 --> 00:36:22,057 About what? 965 00:36:22,058 --> 00:36:25,809 Uh, about coming here like this. 966 00:36:25,810 --> 00:36:27,531 I just got the flier, and I don't know. 967 00:36:27,532 --> 00:36:30,651 I just wanted to see your place, but then this... 968 00:36:30,652 --> 00:36:32,708 it's not fair to you. I'm such a jerk. 969 00:36:32,709 --> 00:36:34,565 I don't know what you're talking about. 970 00:36:34,566 --> 00:36:36,661 And I couldn't even cheat on him the way he cheated on me. 971 00:36:36,662 --> 00:36:38,576 Who? Who cheated on y-- 972 00:36:38,589 --> 00:36:40,441 That guy? 973 00:36:45,510 --> 00:36:47,132 You're still with him. 974 00:36:47,438 --> 00:36:48,498 Yeah. 975 00:36:48,499 --> 00:36:50,336 I thought everything was fixed. 976 00:36:50,337 --> 00:36:51,664 Everything but him. 977 00:36:51,665 --> 00:36:52,705 I hate this. 978 00:36:52,706 --> 00:36:54,036 You should. I'm sorry. 979 00:36:54,037 --> 00:36:57,329 You came here alone to Philadelphia. 980 00:36:57,367 --> 00:36:58,748 He was out of town. 981 00:36:58,749 --> 00:37:00,143 I don't deserve this, Rory. 982 00:37:00,144 --> 00:37:03,424 No, you don't. You don't deserve it. I just... 983 00:37:04,195 --> 00:37:05,944 I'm in love with him. 984 00:37:06,856 --> 00:37:10,614 Despite all the bad he's done, I can't help it. I'm in love with him. 985 00:37:11,704 --> 00:37:13,191 Love, huh? 986 00:37:13,392 --> 00:37:14,885 Yeah. 987 00:37:18,838 --> 00:37:22,164 I guess I'll call Matthew's poet and have him explain love to me. 988 00:37:22,165 --> 00:37:24,041 Poets know all about it, right? 989 00:37:24,042 --> 00:37:25,691 They're supposed to. 990 00:37:27,609 --> 00:37:29,834 Well, I guess I better go. 991 00:37:29,901 --> 00:37:31,294 Okay. 992 00:37:31,425 --> 00:37:33,483 I'm so sorry that I came here. 993 00:37:33,484 --> 00:37:34,843 I'm not. 994 00:37:35,170 --> 00:37:37,944 It's what it is-- you, me. 995 00:37:39,361 --> 00:37:40,637 Where did you park? 996 00:37:40,638 --> 00:37:42,364 I'm right outside. 997 00:37:45,335 --> 00:37:49,348 Hey, if, uh, if it makes you feel better, 998 00:37:49,349 --> 00:37:52,598 you can always tell him that we did something. 999 00:37:52,819 --> 00:37:54,328 Thanks, Jess. 1000 00:37:58,739 --> 00:38:01,202 You know what I thought? I thought an apple stop would be fun today. 1001 00:38:01,203 --> 00:38:02,135 Oh, great idea. 1002 00:38:02,136 --> 00:38:03,849 The banana stop was a big hit yesterday. 1003 00:38:03,850 --> 00:38:05,524 I don't see how an apple stop could fail. 1004 00:38:05,525 --> 00:38:07,245 Yeah, they loved the banana stop. 1005 00:38:07,246 --> 00:38:09,533 I have pamphlets for the kids to read about Amish country. 1006 00:38:09,534 --> 00:38:10,493 Should we hand them out now? 1007 00:38:10,494 --> 00:38:11,633 I think that's a good idea. 1008 00:38:11,634 --> 00:38:13,770 Oh, I'll do it. I've got something for April here, 1009 00:38:13,771 --> 00:38:15,608 so I was about to sneak back there anyway. 1010 00:38:15,609 --> 00:38:17,078 Thank you, Luke. 1011 00:38:18,900 --> 00:38:20,593 Hey, everybody. Sorry to interrupt. 1012 00:38:20,594 --> 00:38:23,208 I got some pamphlets here, a little info on Amish country. 1013 00:38:23,209 --> 00:38:26,348 It's got some pictures, but we're gonna see it, so you don't have to look at the pictures. 1014 00:38:26,349 --> 00:38:29,911 It's got stuff to read, too. So go ahead and pass the rest around there. 1015 00:38:29,912 --> 00:38:31,579 I thought you might need your sweater. 1016 00:38:32,597 --> 00:38:34,120 Okay, then. 1017 00:38:34,718 --> 00:38:35,701 See ya. 1018 00:38:35,702 --> 00:38:37,673 My dad's ridiculously overprotective. 1019 00:38:37,674 --> 00:38:39,379 Ridiculously.