Yes?
- Hey. - Hello.
- You're new. - I started yesterday.
- What's your name? - Leisal.
Okay. I'm Brigitte. This is Gretel.
- Emily and Richard are expecting us. - I'm sorry.
Please come in.
[Emily and Richard arguing]
Can I get you a drink?
I can get it. Why don't you go hide in the kitchen?
Really? Thank you.
- What is going on? - I don't know.
I think George and Martha are joining us for dinner.
I didn't know my every conversation had to be reported. I stand corrected.
I have been the co-chair of the Starlight Foundation...
- for the last eight years. - I know this.
The Black and White Ball is the main fundraising event of the season.
- It's one year. - The co-chair cannot miss...
- the main fundraising event. - Why?
- Won't the chair be there? - Is this a joke to you?
I have too many things to take care of at work.
I don't have time for frivolous parties.
Frivolous parties?
Where are you going? Come back here.
- This is bad. - I know. I wish we had popcorn.
- Mom. - Incoming.
"The Hartford Zoological silent auction..."
"The Mark Twain House Restoration Fund luncheon..."
"The Harriet Beecher Stowe Literacy Auction."
I can read those myself.
This is the fourth event you have turned down on our behalf.
I am on the board of all of those foundations.
- How does that make me look? - Like your husband is busy...
- and has a great deal of responsibility. - I have responsibilities, too.
I understand that your social engagements are important.
They're not just social engagements.
Anything at which you serve tea is a social engagement.
I am getting a tape recorder so you can hear how pompous...
and condescending you sound.
I don't want you to take my word for it. I might be delirious...
- from all that tea I've been drinking. - Stop.
Maybe we should leave.
Are you kidding? We have dinner theater here.
But Grandma and Grandpa are in a fight.
- Yeah. - They wouldn't want us to see it.
We stumbled in here completely innocently.
We came for dinner, as usual, per their request.
We didn't know we'd see The Lion King without the puppet heads.
RICHARD: Get that thing out of my face.
- Say the tea thing again. - You're acting like a child.
Turn around when you talk. I'm not sure this microphone is good.
What?
Brava! Encore!
Does Terrence McNally know about you two? Get me the phone!
It sucks. I know it sucks. Just tell me it sucks.
It's great.
- No, it's not. - It's an "A."
- Don't lie. - A-plus.
- You're my mom. - Is anything higher than A-plus?
- You have to say that. - An A-plus with a crown and a wand.
This is not how you raise a child.
You don't send them out with a false sense of pride.
Because in the real world, no one will coddle you.
I'd rather know now if I'll be working at CNN...
or carrying a basket around its offices with sandwiches.
- Rory. - Yeah?
It's great.
- Really? - Really, really.
- Thank you. - Coffee.
Coffee.
- What do you want? Eggs, toast, combo? - What's the rush?
I'm swamped this morning. I was supposed to have help, but I don't.
So order now, or I'm bringing you both...
an egg-white omelet with steamed spinach.
- Pancakes. - French toast.
Thank you.
You were supposed to be down here...
- What the hell is that? - What?
- That. - That is a shirt.
- Change. - What?
- Go upstairs and change your shirt. - I like this shirt.
- How can you like it? - It brings out my eyes.
Part of the deal of you staying here is that you work here.
When you work here, you will wear proper work attire.
That is not proper work attire.
Go upstairs and change into something that won't scare my customers.
Whatever you say, Uncle Luke.
- Gross T-shirt. - Yeah.
- Good band. - Yeah.
Thank you.
- Another new one, Emily? - Yes.
The last one only made it through one evening.
- Thoroughly nervous creature. - What do you do to them?
The usual. "Clean this, cook that..."
- "Sacrifice a virgin on your way out." - The things you say.
We could have done with some of that at the ball the other night.
Was it dull?
I felt like my shoes were going out of style as I sat there.
- What a shame. - It wasn't all dull.
- Are we forgetting Truly Bishop? - That's right.
What about Truly Bishop?
- She and Eugene split up last month. - What?
You knew about that. They had this huge fight at the...
That's right. You missed the Schaffers' cocktail party.
They broke up at the Schaffers' cocktail party?
He has another family in Salisbury.
- No. - She's 26, with a 2-year-old.
- How did Truly find out? - The little tart sent her a letter.
- Oh, my God. - So Truly confronted Eugene...
after consuming a bottle and a half of Cristal...
and he said he was going to leave her and marry the Salisbury concubine.
- What did she do? - Threw an ice sculpture at his head.
I can't believe I missed that.
- You've missed everything lately. - Where have you been?
- Is everything all right? - Yes, it's just Richard.
He hasn't been hanging out in Salisbury?
No. He's been swamped at work, night and day, weekends.
Like he was the only person who worked at that company.
Plus, he hasn't been feeling very well.
His back and knees, very bad knees.
Rory, what a nice surprise.
- Sorry to butt in like this. - Nonsense.
Come and meet my friends. I'd like you to meet my granddaughter Rory.
- Hello, Rory. - Nice to meet you.
My goodness, what a pretty girl you are.
- She looks just like Lorelai, doesn't she? - The eyes.
- The nose. - Walk around, sweetie.
- Leave the girl alone. - I want to see the walk.
- Lorelai had such a specific walk. - Fast.
- That was it. - Sit. Would you like some tea?
No, I came to pick up a book that Grandpa was supposed to leave.
- Check his study, it might be on his desk. - Thanks.
Your granddaughter is just lovely. How old is she?
- Sixteen. - That's a nice age.
- Have you thought about her debut? - No, not yet.
The Daughters of the Daughters of the American Revolution Debutante Ball...
- is next week. - It is? I hadn't realized.
Why don't you present Rory there?
I don't know. Isn't it a little late?
Please. For Emily Gilmore I'm sure they'll bend the rules.
You have to.
With a girl like that, you'll be the hit of the ball.
She'd definitely be the prettiest one.
- Except for Katie Hethington. - No. Didn't you hear?
Katie fell off her horse. There's a scab on her face.
Well, then, if Katie Hethington has a scab on her face...
Rory will definitely be the prettiest one there.
It'll be your crowning moment.
I found it.
[Sarcastically] Yay.
- I'm coming out. - Out of what?
- Out into society. - What are you talking about?
- I went to Grandma's house after school. - Right away, bad.
Her DAR friends are all there, they're talking about...
- this Debutante Ball that's being thrown. - Oh, no.
When I got back from Grandpa's office, they invited me onto the patio.
- Tell me you did not go onto the patio. - I went onto the patio.
That's like accepting the position as the drummer in Spinal Tap.
Grandma told me how important it is...
for a person to be properly presented to society.
And how every young girl dreams of this day.
- And how there are flowers. - Lord.
- And music. - Please.
- And cake. - The cake's actually good.
Before I knew it, Grandma brought out your old dress, I tried it on...
- What are you doing? - Getting you out of this.
My mother is great at getting someone to agree...
to something that in another universe they would never consider.
I am convinced she had something to do with Lily Tomlin...
- doing that movie with John Travolta. - I'm doing this.
Why?
You should've seen Grandma's face when she asked me.
- It's really important to her. - But...
If it's important to her and not important to me, then why shouldn't I do it?
Do you know what a coming-out party says?
- It's says, "I'm a woman now." - No, it says:
"Hi, I'm Rory. I'm of good breeding and marriageable age.
"I will now parade around in front of...
"young men of similarly good breeding and marriageable age...
- "so they can take a good look at me." - You're exaggerating.
It's like animals being up for bid at the county fair...
- except sheep don't wear hoop skirts. - I promised.
- But you don't have to be a part of it. - If you want to do it, I'll help.
It's just weird.
This is all the stuff I ran away from. I just assumed you'd be running with me.
I would, but I heard debutantes don't run, something about the heels.
All right, then. If you're sure, where do we start?
[Lorelai sighing]
Let's see, you have a dress. You need a dowry, I guess.
There you go. And you'll need shoes...
hose, gloves, some mice, a dog, a pumpkin.
- What's wrong? - Nothing.
It says your father is supposed to present you at the ceremony.
Whatever. I can get someone else to do it.
- Grandpa, probably. Or Taylor. - Okay.
Or the cable guy, he looked friendly last week. He may have a tux.
- Hand me the phone. - I was kidding about the cable guy.
- What are you doing? - There are many things...
that should weird you out about coming out...
but inviting your father shouldn't be one of them.
OPERATOR: The number you have dialed has changed.
Gum wrapper.
- He's not going to come. - You don't know until you ask.
- Mom. - Look, we call, we ask.
There's no harm. Trust me, the cable guy's not going anywhere.
CHRISTOPHER: Hello? LORELAI: Hi!
- Where the hell are you? - Boston.
- Boston? - Yeah.
Baked beans, cream pie, tea party, strangler.
- That Boston. - And you?
- Me? - Where are you?
- Helsinki. - Really?
I got the girl band together. After opening stateside...
we headed across the Atlantic, now we're huge with the Nordic set.
Good to hear you. We haven't talked in a while.
You could have called, too.
Or does your phone only receive calls?
I figured you had a lot going on...
what with the engagement and the canceling of the engagement.
- How's that going? - Still canceled.
- You okay? - Good.
I'm even better when I'm not talking about it.
- Moving on, then. - I have some shocking news.
- Rory's coming out. - Out of what?
Coming out: white dresses, gloves, curtsies.
- Stop it. - I swear to God.
You're letting her do it?
I wasn't about to let her use my method of getting out of it.
This is crazy.
She's doing it as a favor to my mom. Can't talk her out of it.
Did you tell her about Barbara Hutton, Doris Duke?
Yes, and she's perfectly willing to marry Cary Grant...
get offed by her crazy butler, and start designing blue jeans...
as soon as the ball ends.
If that's what she wants.
Now comes the reason for my phone call.
All your regular 976 numbers were busy.
I know this is totally not your thing...
but as you will remember, part of the coming-out process involves...
the girls being escorted around the dance floor by their dads.
Now, I know you would rather sit through Endless Love...
than ever be a part of this scene again...
but this is important to your daughter, and she's never asked you for anything.
Although no one's keeping track, it seems your constant non-presence...
in her life, and your lack of showing up when you say you're going to...
or calling when you say you're going to...
or basically doing anything when you say you will...
would tend to indicate that you owe her big time.
Now, before you say no, I want you to take a minute...
and remember you have a great daughter who needs you.
She has a mother who will hunt you down like a half-price Kate Spade purse...
- if you disappoint her. - Okay. I'm there.
You mean the Daughters of the American Revolution Annual Debutante ball?
Yes.
- Don't make this promise if you can't. - I wouldn't miss it.
- It's next weekend. - I'll clear my schedule.
- You swear? - Wait, next weekend?
- Christopher. - I'm kidding.
I will definitely be there.
In exchange, I'll refrain from saying the 10 things that came to mind...
for making fun of your schedule.
- Thanks. - Bye.
Hey, little Debbie, your dad is definitely gonna be there.
- You're kidding. - No.
He's gonna walk you down the stairs, turn you in a circle, watch you curtsy...
and announce that Rory Gilmore is officially open for business.
- He definitely said "definitely"? - Definitely.
- So there's a 50-50 chance? - He sounded pretty sure. I'd say 60-40.
[TV blaring]
No, Mom, I'm sure one crinoline will be plenty.
No, she doesn't.
I'm sure she doesn't.
In what scenario would I have bought Rory...
elbow-length kidskin gloves?
Sorry, in what scenario on my planet...
would I have bought Rory elbow-length kidskin gloves?
- So? - So what?
It's good, huh?
It's the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction.
- Doesn't Neil Young look cool? - I guess.
If you'll notice, he's wearing a tux.
He looks cool because he's Neil Young, not because he's wearing a tux.
I don't have to ask her, Mom, 'cause I know the answer.
I know the answer, Mom.
Yeah. No. Well, I don't have to ask her...
Hold on.
Would you like Grandma's hairstylist to come and set your hair before the ball?
I did not coach her. Go back to talking about gloves.
- You're gonna look great in a tux. - Tails.
- What? - According to this it says that:
"All escorts must be properly attired..."
"In black tails, white cummerbunds, and white gloves."
- What? - I'm sure the gloves are optional.
Not according to this.
- Tails? Gloves? - Remember Neil Young.
Remember that you love me.
Remember that I'll be watching BattleBots with you for a month.
Show me Neil Young again.
[Car horn honking]
Dad!
Dad.
Whoa! Hold it. A lady never runs out to meet a gentleman caller...
who hasn't been announced.
We haven't tamed my wild ways yet.
- Thank God I'm here now. - I missed you.
- Me, too. - Hey.
- What is this? - What?
- God, where did this come from? - What happened to your bike?
Crazy game of key exchange at the car wash.
- This is a car. - Yes, it is.
It has four wheels and a roof and air bags...
and seat belts, and my God, it smells like a forest.
Well, I needed a little more space. Had something big to haul.
I believe this belongs to you.
- The Compact Oxford English Dictionary. - I'd promised you.
- Sorry it took so long. - That's okay.
This is the new edition.
The old one doesn't have the word "jiggy" in it.
Thank you. I love it. I'll look things up right now.
Wait!
- Thanks. - Go.
- That was really great of you. - Thank you.
- Back to mocking my car? - Yeah. A Volvo sedan.
- Are you kidding? - This is a great car.
- For driving to bingo. - It just seemed like time.
I couldn't keep showing up for work on my bike.
- Work? - You've heard of it?
Yes, but I didn't think you had.
Took a while, I kept getting it mixed up with "nap," but I figured it out.
So you bought a car and got a job.
Actually, job, then car.
- 'Cause it's more responsible that way. - Exactly.
Wow! So tell me about the job.
I show up every day, drink bad coffee, exchange lame pleasantries...
with Linda from marketing, and after two weeks, they give me a paycheck.
- It's a pretty cool system. - You're serious?
You know how us working types are. Get in.
I'm not supposed to take rides with strangers.
- Trust me. - Yes, but only if...
you promise we won't go over 25 miles an hour on the motorway.
[Loud rock music playing]
LORELAI: Oh, my God.
George Lucas wishes he had this sound system.
Got Alpine head units, two subs, and two 12s.
- In exchange, no passenger-side air bag. - So the old Christopher still lives.
Could you please attenuate the cacophony out here?
Turn down the music.
Next time, instead of a dictionary, just slip her a crisp $20.
Deal.
Twelve pairs of pantyhose.
It's going to be a long night. She's bound to have a run.
Twelve pairs.
There's the presentation, the circle, the curtsy, the fan dance.
Mom, there'd have to be a 12-kilometer run and a jujitsu demonstration...
for her to go through 12 pairs of pantyhose.
Does it really hurt to be prepared?
- No, it doesn't hurt to be prepared. - Thank you.
The good news is, now she is prepared...
for her high-school graduation, her college graduation, her marriage...
three to five anniversaries, a hostess gig, and jury duty...
- especially if she's sequestered. - You make me tired.
Richard, I didn't know you were home.
Yes, well, we learn something every day.
- You didn't have to work? - I am working.
Guess how many pairs of pantyhose we bought?
I'd rather not, if you don't mind.
I got you some beautiful new cuff links for this weekend.
I already have cuff links.
- But these have bulldogs on them. Look. - I'll look at them later.
All right, fine.
Remember to get your tux from the cleaners tomorrow.
- No time. - It's around the corner from your office.
- I have to go in early tomorrow. - Go now.
- I am busy now. - Doing what?
I am not going to qualify my time with you.
I am not going to pick up my tuxedo.
You planned this ridiculous affair, you pick up my tuxedo.
Or I simply don't have to go.
Either one of these options is fine with me.
Hey, Mom, I might be reading too much into this...
but is something going on between you and Dad?
What are you talking about?
He just seems a little less jolly than usual.
- He's just busy. - He seems upset.
- He's not. - You seem upset.
- I'm not. We're both fine. - Okay. My mistake.
I'd better go pick up his tux.
Keep counting in your heads.
Look each other in the eye. Dean, are you leading?
- I have no idea. - Okay, stop.
Remember, one of the most important things in ballroom dancing...
is to remember to spot.
Otherwise, you're gonna get dizzy. So what you want to do...
is pick out something to focus on.
I usually like to find a lonely seaman.
Then when turning, whip your head around and find your spot again.
Hello, sailor.
Now you try it.
You got to be kidding me.
You can do it without the "hello, sailor" part.
- BattleBots. - For the rest of your life.
Now take it from the top.
[Upbeat jazz music playing]
Hey. You guys are really improving.
- Now you're actually facing each other. - Anyone need a break?
Okay, take five, but don't sit down because your muscles will get cold.
- So how's it going? - Actually, I'm not very good.
Which is really holding me back, because I'm a natural.
Maybe you need a glittery glove and a freaky face.
Miss Patty thought Dean would get hurt, and she made me sit and watch.
Nobody puts baby in the corner.
It's not your fault. Ballroom dancing is a wonderfully sexist thing.
Any woman can do it. All she needs is a strong male lead. No of fence.
- Well, almost any woman can do it. - I wasn't ready.
- I want a do over. - Fine.
May I have this dance?
I don't know. Do you have a trust fund? Always make sure.
[The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra playing]
Okay, I'm adopted.
I'm never gonna be able to do that.
You guys just need some practice.
Listen to your father, Rory. Your adorable father.
Let's get you out of here before you become Patty's next husband.
See you guys later.
- Bye, Patty. - The way you toy with me.
Did you know you still knew how to do that?
I wish I didn't. Imagine what we could do...
if we freed up the brain space it holds on the Viennese waltz.
It's right up there between Brady Bunch reruns and the lyrics to Rapture.
I got to say, this isn't like the chai lattes in Boston.
Expecting Luke to make a chai anything was completely insane.
I'm pretty sure he just threw a cinnamon stick in some tea.
I'm pretty sure it's not a cinnamon stick.
Okay, throwing this out now.
So, chai latte, when did that happen?
I don't know. Everyone at work drinks them.
Since you still haven't told me what exactly it is that you do...
I'm gonna go with yoga instructor or chiropractor.
It's actually interesting. I'm working for this firm that helps...
overblown tech companies scale back and stay afloat in leaner times.
- I'm sorry, what's the interesting part? - We dress like superheroes when we do it.
Nice.
How long will you be able to keep this going?
I'm happy there, I'd say at least till Tuesday.
- So, long-term. - You know, it's weird.
I hated the idea of having to be somewhere at a specific time each day...
but it turns out I like the stability.
- Really? - Yeah.
I like that at the end of the day, I feel like I've done something, earned something.
I think that's really great.
Only took me 10 years and several failed business ventures...
- to figure out what I wanted. - Which is?
Not my parents' life. Something you figured out at 16.
Actually, six months, but I just couldn't vocalize it yet.
You knew what you wanted, you went out and got it.
I was always a little jealous of you.
You seem to be catching up.
We did good.
Yeah. Well, I did good.
The fact that she can't follow lead is all you.
See, only a lady can gracefully walk around a room with a book on her head...
while eating kung pao chicken.
A great lady can spit the peanuts into the container...
- without anyone noticing. - Wow.
Well, don't be intimidated.
You have to practice a lot to get to my level.
- Anyone want the last egg roll? - No.
Where are you going?
- To get the egg roll. - You're getting it yourself?
- Yes. - No!
Ladies never get their egg rolls, they never get their own anything.
- Not even their own ideas. - Oh, boy.
They sit helplessly and wait for some young, strong man...
to come by and assist them.
They don't step in puddles or over puddles.
They can't even look at puddles. They need to be blindfolded...
and thrown in a sack and carried over puddles.
Isn't there a moratorium on how long ladies should talk?
No. Repeat after me, "I am completely helpless."
You put the left side through the back loop...
and you tug a little bit on both sides...
and you, my friend, might just be mistaken for a gentleman.
Or a waiter.
How do you know how to do this?
Seventeen cotillions, a dozen debutante balls...
and a scarring experiment with the Children of the American Revolution.
Where you wear only the bow tie.
A good idea on conception, but the sudden snowstorm instantly dampened the effect.
Hey, do you think it's cool when Neil Young wears a tux?
Yeah, of course, but it's Neil Young.
All right, I should get going. I'll see you at 3:00.
Wait.
- What's this? - Your gloves.
- I thought you were kidding. - No. Ladies never kid.
[Dean sighing]
- Bye. - Bye.
- I'm going to bed, too. - Do you need help?
- No. - Wrong. The correct answer is yes.
- Ladies need help with everything. - Good night.
I don't know how she's ever gonna make it in society.
At this rate, she's gonna get a job and only marry once.
- Calling your mom again? - I don't get it.
Every five minutes last week, she called to check on shoe fittings...
and curtsy progress, and if I talked Rory into putting her hair up.
Then tonight, nothing.
I'm sure they have a lot of getting ready to do for themselves.
She's been acting so weird lately.
They're fighting, openly fighting.
They've never done that before. I'm not sure what to do about it.
Move to California. That's what I do.
My father doesn't even want to go tomorrow.
His perfect angel granddaughter is being presented to society...
in front of his friends and colleagues.
Something he never got to do with his bad, loser, evil daughter.
Maybe you should talk to them.
I'm sorry, was that me? I must have had an aneurysm.
Nothing more I can do tonight.
I'm going to bed. Want me to turn off the lights?
Actually, I have to stay up and do a little work tonight.
I'm sorry. I keep forgetting that that's not a joke anymore.
Good night.
This place is huge.
- Do I have to walk down those stairs? - I'm afraid so.
Unless you want to make a memorable entrance and slide down the banister...
which I totally encourage, by the way.
- You are... - Lorelai Gilmore.
- Late. - Sorry. My fault.
Took me a while to get pretty.
Not all of us are 16 anymore, you know what I mean? No.
You are to head up the stairs. The preparation room is on the right.
Look for the toxic cloud of Chanel and Final Net.
Hang your dress there. Put your makeup on over there.
You'll have to make do with a non-lighted mirror.
The lighted ones went to the girls that were here before dawn.
Listen up, ladies!
Everyone must be beautiful and ready to go by 7:30.
[Girls gasping]
- Can't believe we have an hour and a half. - I'm never gonna be ready in time.
God knows when the swelling on my nose is gonna go down.
I had to go and inherit my father's nose. I'm Libby.
Which one should I wear? I thought all month and I cannot decide.
Well, that's a tough one.
I know. This is red-red, and this is orange-red.
The wrong one, and I will look like a hooker or a teacher.
That's a lot of pressure.
The two minutes you stand on the stairs...
will determine your social status for the rest of your life.
Wow. What if you trip?
I mean, not that you would. You wouldn't. I might.
Probably will, actually. Could be a Cirque du Soleil kind of night.
You should not even joke about stuff like that.
There's a head under there.
You are a wonderful man.
I have a feeling we're gonna be very close tonight.
- Mom, you're here. - Where should I be, Spain?
I tried calling you all night last night.
- I was very busy. - And then we got here before you.
- What is your point? - Nothing. It's just weird.
Well, I'm here now, so it's not weird anymore.
Look at these flowers. Baby's breath.
What is this, County General?
You look very nice. I like your dress.
Cotton tablecloths, folding chairs. It's not supposed to be like this.
- In my day, people sat in real chairs. - Mom, what's the matter?
I wanted my granddaughter to be presented to society...
in a beautiful, elegant ballroom, not a Shakey's.
The room is beautiful. You're being too critical.
There's Nan. I'm going to have a little talk with her...
about the proper height for a taper.
Midori Sour?
- No, thanks. - More for me.
My last coming-out, I shared with this girl who couldn't handle her booze.
Neon-green puke all over her white dress.
Your last coming-out?
This is my fifth one this year.
They say four out of five debs marry their escorts.
Kind of like the dentists with Trident.
Five coming-out balls, five escorts. One of them has to stick, right?
- Good logic. - So is your escort the one?
- The one what? - The one you're gonna marry.
- Is he cute? - Yes, he is very cute.
- Where will you live when you marry? - Hold on.
Katie, hi. Too bad about your face.
- Is it horrible? - No, you can hardly tell.
Just walk sideways.
These things will be the death of me.
I know. And we've had no time to prep.
Jenna just got out of Rainbow Hills two days ago.
- Rehab? - Fat farm.
Hi. Sorry to interrupt. Could you come with me?
My cummerbund and I aren't seeing eye to eye.
Men. Totally helpless. Excuse me.
You saved me. I love you. I want to have your baby.
- Too late. - I saw the look.
The same one you had that time you ended up on homecoming court.
Someone's idea of a sick, sick joke.
By the way, Neil Young's got nothing on you.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Have you seen your father? - No.
He promised me he'd be here by now.
- You didn't come together? - I swear, if he misses this...
- Did you call him? - Of course I called him.
I wouldn't go this long without calling him.
- Emily, he's here. - Where?
Where have you been?
I can't look. Did she bean him with the baby's breath?
No, they're just energetically practicing their sign language.
Oh, God.
Okay, I think this is a really good time for a martini.
Hello? Thirsty people here.
- What are you doing? - Steve won't mind.
Little tip, never a good idea to let people know...
you're on a first-name basis with the bartender.
- This is really something. - What?
You and I together at a debutante ball.
Yeah.
Just like it would have been 16 years ago.
- Fancy dress. - Sneaking booze.
- Parents acting crazy. - You look great.
- I'm so glad you're here. - So am I.
ANNOUNCER: All fathers, please report to the debutante staging area upstairs.
Fathers, to the staging area.
- Showtime. You gonna be all right? - Absolutely.
I'll see you later.
Curtsy pretty.
Just wanted to see you before you became a proper lady of society.
- What do you think? - I think...
- you look like a cotton ball. - Why, thank you, Jeeves.
But a really cute cotton ball.
Oh, my God, is this your escort?
- Yeah, it is. - You are totally getting married.
- What did she say? - Well...
Dad. Great, let's go.
- I'll meet you downstairs. Good luck. - Okay.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.
If everyone could please take their seat.
We're about to get started with...
Last chance to shimmy down the drainpipe.
- Do me a favor? - Anything.
- Just don't let me fall. - Right back at you.
Good evening.
On behalf of the Daughters of the American Revolution...
I would like to welcome you to our annual debutante ball.
This brings back so many memories.
I myself came out in this very hall in 19...
Well, let's just say a number of years ago.
Now, the word "debutante" comes from the French word "débuter"...
EMILY: You're being irrational. WOMAN: which means to lead off.
- Just come sit down. - I'm going to finish my drink.
You won't be happy until you've spoiled this evening.
Guys, there's a lady up there with...
wearing a rock the size of Neptune, talking about the debutantes of ancient Greece.
It's a lot easier to fall asleep if you're sitting down. Trust me.
I will sit down when I am ready to sit down.
- Lower your voice. - No, I will not lower my voice.
I paid a fortune to be here, and I will speak as loudly as I like.
You're embarrassing us, embarrassing Rory.
This wasn't Rory's idea. This was your idea.
This ridiculous evening was your idea.
You don't want her presented to society?
To hell with society! Yes, I'm talking about you!
Come on, that's it.
Are you two completely out of your minds?
There's a ceremony going on in there.
Young girls in ugly dresses and stupid fans are parading around...
in circles for whatever reason, and you two are ruining it.
I didn't want to come here. You knew that.
That's too bad. We have a social responsibility.
I am so tired of hearing you say that.
People expect us to be certain places and do certain things.
We can't just withdraw from all that.
You know what I'm going through at work?
Your whole life isn't that damn company.
I have told you what I'm going through, but you don't seem to hear it.
You don't listen to me or anybody.
- That is not true. - It is.
Isn't it true? Has she ever listened to a word you've said?
People listen in different ways.
Right? Some people listen with their ears and some people...
listen with not their ears.
But that doesn't mean some listening hasn't happened in some form.
I have listened to you, Richard. I know exactly what is going on.
Really? What?
- You lost an account. - What?
No. I didn't lose an account. I was taken off an account.
I was taken off an account that I brought into this company 10 years ago.
There are other accounts.
I have been in charge of that account for 10 years!
How can you be so angry? Yes, they took you off that account...
but they also gave you a promotion.
You said they moved you upstairs...
to a larger office and gave you a new title and a better parking space.
- Damn it. I am being phased out. - You are not.
I know whether I'm being phased out. I invented "phased out" for this company.
Don't you think I did the exact same thing to Allen Parker?
- Allen Parker retired. - Allen Parker was phased out.
I now have his office. I now have his parking space.
You know what happens from here?
I lose more accounts slowly, but surely.
They will put a younger man on them with me to be trained by the best.
Then one day, they'll call and ask me...
to let that young man take a meeting without me, to see how fast he's learning.
And then, suddenly, that young man is given that account.
And this happens again and again and again...
until I am nothing but a symbolic figurehead...
that they roll out for banquets and group pictures.
And then, one day, Emily...
I will be asked to leave.
Well, so what?
Excuse me?
- I don't think Mom meant exactly... - So what if that's true?
- Or maybe she did. - There are other options.
I don't want other options.
I want to get up every morning and put on my suit...
and go to my office and do my work, like I've done every day for 30 years.
That's what I want to do. That's the only thing I want to do.
Excuse me. Hi. Sorry to interrupt, but I'm next.
WOMAN: Elizabeth Doty.
Daughter of George Edward Doty IV and Eleanor Doty.
[Audience applauding]
Lorelai Gilmore.
Daughter of Christopher Hayden and Lorelai Gilmore.
[Audience applauding]
That should have been you up there.
Nothing's turning out the way it was supposed to.
Did you know that you're considered a hot dad?
Really?
Libby said it's too bad you're my real dad.
If you were my step-dad, I could steal you away from Mom.
Libby's got a good life ahead of her.
I was very proud of all of you.
You made it through the entire ceremony with a straight face.
Almost all of you.
I'm sorry, but that fan dance was more than I could take.
- I need burger. - Me, too. Dean?
The only thing I can think of is taking off this tux.
Watch it. You're talking to a lady now.
- How about if I do it at home? - Better.
- Thanks again for going with me. - Tomorrow, you start paying.
- Bye. - Bye.
And then there were three.
I have to get back to Boston in the morning...
so I'm gonna call it a night, too.
What? Not even time for fries?
I'll get up a little early and have coffee with you before I go.
- Deal? - Deal.
Go ahead and order for us. I'll be there in a sec.
I just wanted to tell you how amazing you were tonight.
Really, you completely came through for her.
She deserves it.
I haven't always given you a lot of credit in the past...
but I'm giving you credit now. Big credit.
- Major credit. Buy yourself a sofa. - Thanks. I will.
You know...
I happened to be looking through some old maps this afternoon...
and I couldn't help but notice that Boston is not that far away.
You needed a map to tell you that?
I also noticed that that I-84 is a very good road.
Solid, paved.
I put this information in my pretty little head.
I was thinking, if you wanted to maybe drop by occasionally...
it wouldn't be too difficult.
You realize I'll be driving the Volvo?
Actually, I'm coming around to the Volvo.
- Really? - Yes.
I think it's sort of a Catholic schoolgirl thing.
You know, it's conservative on the outside, bad on the inside.
I like that image.
I've also heard the I-84 can get jammed on weekends.
It can.
So if you wanted to stay a little longer, just to avoid the traffic...
it might be a good idea.
I mean, Rory would definitely love it.
And I wouldn't mind, either.
That is a tempting offer, but I really have to get back.
- To work? - To work...
and to someone.
Oh.
I know, I should have told you.
- That's fine. It's totally your business. - I meant to, but...
[Christopher sighing]
It's just that you and I are so connected...
Chris, please. I get it.
- I think it's really great. I really do. - Thank you.
So, who is it? Let me guess.
Linda from marketing got to you.
- Her name is Sherrie. - Sherrie from marketing?
- Sherrie from Boston. - Hence the move.
- Is it serious? - It's getting there.
"Seeing you in just a bow tie" serious?
We're living together.
Wow.
You really have changed.
Sherrie made it clear I was gonna lose her if I didn't start getting it together.
If you find a girl who's good with dating a square in a Volvo...
you do what it takes to keep her.
So I'll see you back home.
Yes, you will.
[Lorelai gasping]
What?
After all you've been through tonight, I come in and find you eating like that?
- There you go. - Being a lady is hard.
So, tonight? What's the consensus?
The fan dance was humiliating. I'm never doing a curtsy again.
But having Dad around was great.
- Yeah, it was. - He's got a new girlfriend.
- Sherrie. - Yeah.
Poor girl's named after a Journey song. That's rough.
- He seems happy. - He does. He really does.
- I'm glad. - Me, too.
I feel kind of bad for Grandma, though.
She was so into this night, and she ended up being so miserable.
Don't worry. She'll have more fun at the next one.
- Excuse me? - Yes.
We have you signed up for the next six balls.
- Not funny. - You're doing this...
- till you bring home a prize. - Ignoring you now.
Back from the ball?
I left behind a glass slipper and a business card...
in case the prince is really dumb.
Good and desperate thinking.
- Thank you. Luke. - What?
What do you think you're doing?
- Working. - So you think this is funny?
I'm sorry, I thought this was the uniform.
You know what? That's fine. Have your little joke.
Doesn't bother me at all.
You just go over there and clean off that table. I'm ignoring you.
- You do not exist. - Okay.
- That's it. Get upstairs and change. - Whatever you say, Uncle Luke.
It's Luke. Just Luke. Mr. Luke.
In fact, don't address me at all!
- You know, I'm really lucky. - Yeah? Why?
I have someone to complain to when life sucks or work sucks...
or just everything sucks, I have someone I can talk to.
- Yeah? Who? - Shecky, you kill me.
It must be really lonely not to have that.
You thinking about Grandma?
I'm just thinking.
Hey, Mom.
- What are you doing here? - Nothing much.
I had a little time before my business class, and I thought:
"Hey, why don't I go over to Mom's house and just hang?"
- Just what? - Just hang.
You know, hang out, talk, don't talk, whatever.
Just hang.
- You're gardening, huh? - Yes.
Okay, well, don't let me stop you. I'll just sit here...
and just hang.
Are you sure you don't need something?
Nope. I'm just here to hang.
Well.
Mom, if there's ever anything you want to talk about with me, you can.
All right.
Okay.
So...