1 00:00:00,088 --> 00:00:03,278 LORELAI: [On machine] We're not in, so... Bashed my thumb. Leave a message. 2 00:00:03,500 --> 00:00:06,472 EMILY: [On machine] I'm tired of this ridiculous machine. I get it every time... 3 00:00:06,496 --> 00:00:07,528 That was close. 4 00:00:07,661 --> 00:00:09,931 Rory are always out. What is it that you do? 5 00:00:10,115 --> 00:00:13,259 Is your house that awful you can't be in it? It's too much excitement. 6 00:00:13,486 --> 00:00:15,279 What isn't in Emily's rules of conduct? 7 00:00:15,441 --> 00:00:17,631 I don't want to talk to a machine. Call you later. 8 00:00:17,813 --> 00:00:20,685 If you had your way, you'd lock us up like veal. You want veal children. 9 00:00:20,891 --> 00:00:21,924 [Phone ringing] 10 00:00:22,057 --> 00:00:24,769 We're not in, so... Bashed my thumb. Leave a message. 11 00:00:24,968 --> 00:00:27,556 - It's me again... - You are talking to a machine. 12 00:00:27,757 --> 00:00:30,265 Don't forget that my DAR meeting's on Tuesday... 13 00:00:30,461 --> 00:00:32,606 It's burned into my brain. It's there forever. 14 00:00:32,791 --> 00:00:34,936 And the women are all extremely punctual. 15 00:00:35,121 --> 00:00:38,231 When I'm senile and gaga and drooling into a cup... 16 00:00:38,532 --> 00:00:40,405 and I can't remember my name... 17 00:00:40,571 --> 00:00:43,999 I'll still remember that your DAR meeting is that Tuesday. 18 00:00:44,232 --> 00:00:46,423 I'll talk to you about some other things later. 19 00:00:46,604 --> 00:00:48,875 I'd have to be deprogrammed by cult deprogrammers... 20 00:00:49,059 --> 00:00:50,569 to get that Tuesday out of my brain. 21 00:00:50,723 --> 00:00:51,721 [Phone ringing] 22 00:00:51,847 --> 00:00:54,514 We're not in, so... Bashed my thumb. Leave a message. 23 00:00:54,925 --> 00:00:57,717 EMILY: Your phone message is annoying... LORELAI: Unbelievable. 24 00:00:57,921 --> 00:00:59,510 You know how annoying it is? 25 00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:02,381 I think I have a standard against which to measure it. 26 00:01:02,581 --> 00:01:03,898 You heard it lately? 27 00:01:04,038 --> 00:01:05,990 Can't because I'm amputating my ears. 28 00:01:06,159 --> 00:01:09,190 Don't say your name. That thumb bashing thing, is that a joke? 29 00:01:09,405 --> 00:01:11,232 Why is that your jokes are always... 30 00:01:11,402 --> 00:01:13,592 An earless world, what a dream. 31 00:02:13,103 --> 00:02:16,531 Haven't you already tasted that soup twice, Mom? 32 00:02:16,765 --> 00:02:19,194 - You keeping a running count? - I'm morbidly fascinated. 33 00:02:19,386 --> 00:02:22,972 When you're tasting anything, the first taste acclimates the palate... 34 00:02:23,215 --> 00:02:26,484 the second establishes a foundation, the third is to make your decision. 35 00:02:26,709 --> 00:02:27,719 Gonna be a third one. 36 00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:29,819 Isn't it what this is for, to taste the soup? 37 00:02:30,038 --> 00:02:32,625 Taste, yes. Not to orally deduce their chemical structures. 38 00:02:32,825 --> 00:02:34,221 Everything has to be at your pace. 39 00:02:34,364 --> 00:02:38,064 A pace that can't be measured by the number of times the earth circles the sun. 40 00:02:38,318 --> 00:02:39,714 - Actually, I've heard that. - What? 41 00:02:39,815 --> 00:02:42,766 One is to acclimate, two is for foundation, and three is to judge. 42 00:02:42,977 --> 00:02:45,928 - Traitor. - The women in my group are very picky. 43 00:02:46,222 --> 00:02:49,684 When the pâté at the meeting Heddy Covington organized... 44 00:02:49,925 --> 00:02:52,910 was less chilled than appropriate, she was ostracized for a month. 45 00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:55,434 - That hussy Heddy had it coming. - Lorelai. 46 00:02:55,625 --> 00:02:57,816 They're on time for once. Good. 47 00:02:57,997 --> 00:03:01,220 - Do me a favor and tell Michel that... - Lorelai, please. 48 00:03:01,451 --> 00:03:02,563 Thanks. 49 00:03:03,448 --> 00:03:07,636 I got a lot of other things happening. They can't come to a grinding halt for this. 50 00:03:07,899 --> 00:03:10,611 Your full attention for a short period is too much to ask for? 51 00:03:10,812 --> 00:03:14,955 I'm giving you more attention than I would someone in these circumstances. 52 00:03:15,222 --> 00:03:19,410 No one else would get eight separate soups to taste for a lousy DAR... Sorry. 53 00:03:19,674 --> 00:03:22,580 A not-lousy DAR meeting. We only do this for weddings. 54 00:03:22,794 --> 00:03:27,062 - Would you like me to pay for the tasting? - No, just decide in this calendar year. 55 00:03:27,329 --> 00:03:28,998 Can I... I'm sorry. 56 00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:32,610 The mushroom is a great choice. It's super-popular... 57 00:03:32,822 --> 00:03:35,046 and it's my Jackson's favorite. 58 00:03:35,609 --> 00:03:38,038 - Whose? - Jackson, my fiancé. 59 00:03:38,231 --> 00:03:40,943 - You're getting married? - To the best man in the world. 60 00:03:41,142 --> 00:03:43,208 While we're on the subject, bridesmaids' outfits. 61 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,581 I'm way ahead of you. Already got a couple of ideas. 62 00:03:45,761 --> 00:03:47,747 Is one of them having me design and make them... 63 00:03:47,925 --> 00:03:51,511 so I don't secretly hate what you pick and harbor a secret grudge against you? 64 00:03:51,752 --> 00:03:53,069 - It is now. - I'll do it. 65 00:03:53,209 --> 00:03:54,355 We're a good team. 66 00:03:54,499 --> 00:03:56,882 That fellow's on the phone from the restaurant. 67 00:03:57,078 --> 00:03:59,383 - Who? - The flannel man with protruding ankles. 68 00:03:59,574 --> 00:04:02,605 I forgot his name from the desk to here. That's how memorable he is. 69 00:04:02,819 --> 00:04:03,852 Okay, thank you. 70 00:04:03,984 --> 00:04:05,698 - Where are you going? - To talk to Luke. 71 00:04:05,857 --> 00:04:08,002 - Can't you call him back? - Have your third taste. 72 00:04:08,187 --> 00:04:11,331 Lorelai! Is she always this scattered? 73 00:04:11,682 --> 00:04:14,826 - She's the stablest person I know. - That's very sad. 74 00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:19,894 - I think you're right. Mushroom. - Great. 75 00:04:20,086 --> 00:04:24,195 - Tell me more about your wedding. - Just started planning, not much to tell. 76 00:04:24,455 --> 00:04:28,440 Have you decided on anything yet? Location or the music for the ceremony? 77 00:04:28,741 --> 00:04:31,771 We'll probably just wind up playing something off a CD. 78 00:04:31,986 --> 00:04:32,983 Oh. 79 00:04:33,234 --> 00:04:34,301 What? 80 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,868 CD's can be very unreliable. They break sometimes or they skip... 81 00:04:38,102 --> 00:04:41,087 or the person assigned to turn them on and off gets distracted... 82 00:04:41,306 --> 00:04:43,212 and the whole ceremony is ruined. 83 00:04:43,386 --> 00:04:46,575 - I hadn't thought of that. - Have you thought about live music? 84 00:04:46,798 --> 00:04:49,828 - A nice string ensemble. - That sounds nice. 85 00:04:50,043 --> 00:04:52,755 There are a couple of wonderful groups I could recommend. 86 00:04:52,955 --> 00:04:56,417 - Sure. It doesn't hurt to check them out. - No, it doesn't. 87 00:05:01,444 --> 00:05:04,508 - Mushroom soup. - String quartet. 88 00:05:07,809 --> 00:05:09,681 - Luke? - Yeah. Hi. 89 00:05:09,848 --> 00:05:13,071 - How's it going? - Pretty good. How's things with you? 90 00:05:13,342 --> 00:05:16,770 Not bad. Dropped some eggs. Hazard of the business. 91 00:05:17,003 --> 00:05:20,625 - Am I catching you at a bad time? - No, it's kind of slow here. 92 00:05:20,873 --> 00:05:23,745 So slow that Michel and I were about to get the tetherball out. 93 00:05:23,952 --> 00:05:25,825 The thing with the ball tethered to a rope? 94 00:05:25,990 --> 00:05:28,215 I never knew that's where the tether comes from. 95 00:05:28,404 --> 00:05:31,231 Yeah, it's tied like an anchor is tethered to a rope on a boat. 96 00:05:31,441 --> 00:05:32,474 Neat. Neat. 97 00:05:32,606 --> 00:05:35,591 - Most people don't put that together. - Probably not. 98 00:05:36,226 --> 00:05:39,688 - So anything else? - Yeah, actually. 99 00:05:39,929 --> 00:05:44,277 If I needed a room or two for a couple of days, would it be possible? 100 00:05:44,547 --> 00:05:46,579 - You need rooms? - Like, nine. 101 00:05:47,044 --> 00:05:49,598 - You need nine rooms? - Just for a couple of days. 102 00:05:49,790 --> 00:05:53,536 - Wednesday and Thursday. - I can take care of that. What's it for? 103 00:05:53,784 --> 00:05:57,292 - I just got some family coming in. - Reunion? We can get the tetherball out. 104 00:05:57,528 --> 00:05:59,400 - No, funeral. - What? 105 00:05:59,816 --> 00:06:04,118 Yeah, my uncle Louie died last night, and I'm arranging the funeral for him. 106 00:06:05,184 --> 00:06:08,612 Luke, I'm so sorry. Here I was babbling about tetherball. 107 00:06:08,845 --> 00:06:11,308 - You weren't babbling. - You've got nine rooms. 108 00:06:11,508 --> 00:06:13,177 - Wednesday and Thursday. - You sure? 109 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:14,894 - It's a done deal. - Thanks. 110 00:06:15,045 --> 00:06:16,714 I'm so sorry. 111 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:19,748 It's okay. It sounds like he went peaceful. He was 85. 112 00:06:19,954 --> 00:06:23,143 But it's always hard. You okay? 113 00:06:23,574 --> 00:06:26,480 - Yeah, I'm okay. - Can I help you with anything else? 114 00:06:26,695 --> 00:06:28,408 No, the rooms are help enough. 115 00:06:28,567 --> 00:06:30,758 Are you sure? 'Cause I'm dealing with my mom now... 116 00:06:30,938 --> 00:06:33,209 and I'd be happy to rush over and help with whatever. 117 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,505 You'd be doing me a favor. 118 00:06:34,641 --> 00:06:36,072 The rooms are all I need. Thanks. 119 00:06:36,222 --> 00:06:38,333 - You're welcome. - I got to go. 120 00:06:38,927 --> 00:06:40,993 - Call if you need anything. - I will. 121 00:06:41,173 --> 00:06:43,636 By the way, that French guy is a putz. 122 00:06:43,919 --> 00:06:46,382 - Yeah. He knows. - All right. See you. 123 00:06:46,583 --> 00:06:47,615 Bye. 124 00:06:51,242 --> 00:06:52,990 RORY: It's so sad. LORELAI: I know. 125 00:06:53,822 --> 00:06:55,967 Was Luke shaken over his uncle dying? 126 00:06:56,152 --> 00:06:58,502 I don't know. He's so unflappable. It's hard to tell. 127 00:06:58,690 --> 00:07:01,119 The man definitely can't be flapped. 128 00:07:01,561 --> 00:07:03,317 [Singing Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham] 129 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,476 WOMAN: Can I get another cup of coffee? LUKE: In a minute. 130 00:07:22,531 --> 00:07:24,378 MAN 1: Is that my food? MAN 2: More coffee here, too. 131 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:25,958 LUKE: In a minute. MAN: Is that my food? 132 00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:27,895 - More coffee for me, too. - Shut up, Kirk. 133 00:07:28,064 --> 00:07:29,740 - Is that my food? - Yes, that's your food. 134 00:07:29,895 --> 00:07:31,801 - Can I have it? - I'm doing all I can, folks. 135 00:07:31,974 --> 00:07:33,722 - I asked nicely. - Watch the cord. 136 00:07:33,889 --> 00:07:36,272 - Try ducking. - You should update to a cordless. 137 00:07:36,468 --> 00:07:38,852 - What are you doing? - Thanks. I'm on the phone. 138 00:07:39,048 --> 00:07:41,193 - We noticed. - I can't serve and be on the phone. 139 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:42,456 RORY: We noticed that, too. 140 00:07:42,543 --> 00:07:45,653 Your reenactment of Jerry Lewis in The Diner Guy will wow the critics. 141 00:07:45,871 --> 00:07:48,016 - Where do the poached eggs go? - Crank in the hat. 142 00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:50,869 - I'm not a crank. You are a crank. - He is a crank. 143 00:07:51,073 --> 00:07:54,342 - And the French toast? - The lady with the giant purse. 144 00:07:55,192 --> 00:07:57,416 - This is not good. - Fall back, cowboy. 145 00:07:57,605 --> 00:07:59,080 - What are you doing? - Come here. 146 00:07:59,227 --> 00:08:00,861 Stay on the phone and give me these. 147 00:08:01,016 --> 00:08:02,889 - Where do they go? - Table by the window. 148 00:08:03,055 --> 00:08:04,531 - Don't you number your tables? - No. 149 00:08:04,677 --> 00:08:06,028 You should number your tables. 150 00:08:06,176 --> 00:08:08,968 If I said a number, you wouldn't know what table's what number. 151 00:08:09,171 --> 00:08:12,202 - But all restaurants number their tables. - They go to table five. 152 00:08:12,416 --> 00:08:14,607 - Cool. Which one is that? - The table by the window. 153 00:08:14,788 --> 00:08:16,660 - By the window, Wilma. - Got it, Gertie. 154 00:08:16,827 --> 00:08:18,859 KIRK: How about that coffee? LORELAI: I got it. 155 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,178 Thanks. 156 00:08:20,571 --> 00:08:24,396 But mine's a quarter caf. Three-fourths decaf, one-fourth caffeinated. 157 00:08:24,648 --> 00:08:26,759 - I four-fourths don't care. - Fill it up. 158 00:08:26,937 --> 00:08:28,208 - Sorry about this. - It's okay. 159 00:08:28,351 --> 00:08:30,859 The world's full of people who micromanage their lives... 160 00:08:31,056 --> 00:08:33,246 to the point where they can't wait an extra second. 161 00:08:33,428 --> 00:08:35,652 - We're running out of coffee. - I'll make some more. 162 00:08:35,841 --> 00:08:37,271 - No, I got it. - Do you know how? 163 00:08:37,422 --> 00:08:39,692 Do I? I'm Cathy Coffee, mister... 164 00:08:39,876 --> 00:08:42,339 the bastard offspring of Mrs. Folger and Juan Valdez. 165 00:08:42,539 --> 00:08:44,173 - Where's Jess? - I don't know. 166 00:08:44,328 --> 00:08:46,473 - School? - Please. Probably upstairs. 167 00:08:46,658 --> 00:08:48,214 Really? Excuse me. 168 00:08:48,364 --> 00:08:49,760 - It's too strong. - It's not. 169 00:08:49,903 --> 00:08:52,287 - You're on the phone. - Not everyone likes it strong. 170 00:08:52,483 --> 00:08:55,945 Then I shall convert them. I'm the Jehovah's coffee girl. 171 00:08:58,433 --> 00:08:59,659 [Laughter from TV] 172 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,354 Jess, open up. I know you're in there. 173 00:09:07,128 --> 00:09:09,114 Aren't we bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 174 00:09:09,292 --> 00:09:10,881 - Luke needs you downstairs. - Why? 175 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,467 He's on the phone, Caesar's off today, the place is packed. He needs help. 176 00:09:14,701 --> 00:09:17,208 - I'll be down in a minute. - No. Now. 177 00:09:17,405 --> 00:09:18,835 I'm in the middle of something. 178 00:09:18,986 --> 00:09:22,130 Assume that Jeanie's gonna get Major Healey out of whatever he's in. 179 00:09:22,357 --> 00:09:23,946 Thanks for spoiling it for me. 180 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,825 - I need some more Equal. - There's one right there. 181 00:09:29,014 --> 00:09:30,046 I need seven. 182 00:09:30,179 --> 00:09:33,765 Seven? You're not squirreling these away in your pocket for home use, are you? 183 00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:38,149 - No, I use seven in my coffee. - Okay. Good. Then allow me. 184 00:09:41,496 --> 00:09:44,288 There you go. Go ahead and give that a taste. 185 00:09:44,492 --> 00:09:46,796 - See if it's to your liking. - Okay. 186 00:09:51,356 --> 00:09:52,945 - Perfection. - Good. 187 00:09:54,685 --> 00:09:56,557 - You're very graceful. - She pushed me. 188 00:09:56,724 --> 00:09:58,313 - Sue me. - I could've broken my neck. 189 00:09:58,471 --> 00:10:01,377 As long as it's not your arm. We need your arm. 190 00:10:03,838 --> 00:10:04,984 Despot. 191 00:10:07,208 --> 00:10:09,875 It took me 20 minutes to get past this place's busy signal... 192 00:10:10,079 --> 00:10:12,825 - then they put me on hold forever. - Who's keeping you on hold? 193 00:10:13,034 --> 00:10:14,906 That mortuary in Florida where my uncle's at. 194 00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:16,502 I thought he was in the area. 195 00:10:16,653 --> 00:10:19,637 He spent most of his life here but retired to Orlando. 196 00:10:19,857 --> 00:10:21,889 So I got to ship the body back here. 197 00:10:22,061 --> 00:10:23,730 He wanted to be buried in Stars Hollow? 198 00:10:23,892 --> 00:10:27,002 No. My dad wanted my uncle buried here right next to him. 199 00:10:27,221 --> 00:10:28,333 That's nice. 200 00:10:28,469 --> 00:10:31,738 They were close, and Louie didn't have a family to look out for things. 201 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,393 Before my dad died, he asked me if I'd look out for him. 202 00:10:34,585 --> 00:10:35,582 For Louie. 203 00:10:35,709 --> 00:10:37,854 He wanted me to make sure he got a proper funeral. 204 00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,546 - Respectful, dignified. - No horseshoe carnation wreaths. 205 00:10:40,743 --> 00:10:42,377 Got it. Good man, that dad of yours. 206 00:10:42,532 --> 00:10:44,121 And since Louie's a war veteran... 207 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:47,821 the town Revolutionary War re-enactors will attend the service... 208 00:10:48,066 --> 00:10:49,575 do the salute thing. 209 00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:52,283 It makes me nauseous, but my dad wanted it. 210 00:10:52,476 --> 00:10:54,382 Yeah. Hi. I'm still here. 211 00:10:55,305 --> 00:10:57,938 Yes, the deceased is Louie Danes. Right. 212 00:10:59,050 --> 00:11:02,080 No, Hartford's not too far. I can do that. Thanks. 213 00:11:03,211 --> 00:11:05,355 Great. That's done. Okay. 214 00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:08,367 I should probably go pick out a coffin before he gets here. 215 00:11:08,577 --> 00:11:09,575 Great. Go. 216 00:11:09,701 --> 00:11:11,573 - I have to close up. - No. You're covered. 217 00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:14,407 - You don't have to do this. - We don't mind. Go. 218 00:11:14,611 --> 00:11:17,880 - Gives me a chance to number the tables. - Be my guest. 219 00:11:18,105 --> 00:11:20,568 Are they arranged like this for any particular reason? 220 00:11:20,769 --> 00:11:23,073 - Don't change anything. - It's totally not Feng Shui. 221 00:11:23,264 --> 00:11:24,615 - Gertie. - Go. 222 00:11:33,874 --> 00:11:36,939 Excuse me, Taylor, where are your Brussels sprouts? 223 00:11:37,161 --> 00:11:40,350 My supplier was out of them this week, Mrs. Cassini. Maybe next week. 224 00:11:40,573 --> 00:11:42,559 - I wanted to make them tonight. - Sorry. 225 00:11:42,737 --> 00:11:45,244 Okay. I'll just try across the street. 226 00:11:45,732 --> 00:11:47,764 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 227 00:11:49,351 --> 00:11:51,099 Across the street? 228 00:11:54,969 --> 00:11:56,364 What is that? 229 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:59,652 It's a farmer's market. Isn't it wonderful? 230 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:03,222 It just opened this morning, and I see sprouts. 231 00:12:07,659 --> 00:12:09,054 Who's the proprietor here? 232 00:12:09,198 --> 00:12:11,309 That would be me. What can I do for you? 233 00:12:11,486 --> 00:12:13,392 Wait a minute. I know you. 234 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:16,759 You're that long-haired freak that wanted to be town troubadour... 235 00:12:16,979 --> 00:12:20,928 even though that weird brown-corduroyed- jacket-wearing freak was already it. 236 00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:23,087 That's right. Good memory. How are you? 237 00:12:23,261 --> 00:12:25,644 - Let go of me. - Don't like to be touched. That's cool. 238 00:12:25,841 --> 00:12:29,110 Got a David and Lisa thing happening. Made a mental note. No problem. 239 00:12:29,335 --> 00:12:30,333 Can I help you? 240 00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:33,171 I want to know what inspired you to open a produce stand... 241 00:12:33,371 --> 00:12:35,482 right across the street from my market? 242 00:12:35,660 --> 00:12:38,168 - Is that your market? - Yes, that's my market. 243 00:12:38,364 --> 00:12:41,077 It's real nice. Homey. Bought a box of tissues there. 244 00:12:41,276 --> 00:12:43,070 Good stuff. Good stuff. 245 00:12:43,524 --> 00:12:44,794 MISS PATTY: Excuse me. 246 00:12:45,229 --> 00:12:48,101 Your parsley, is it priced per bunch or per pound? 247 00:12:48,308 --> 00:12:50,340 - Per pound, beautiful. - Good deal. 248 00:12:50,513 --> 00:12:52,704 - Patty. - Hi, Taylor. How are you? 249 00:12:52,885 --> 00:12:55,392 You mean not counting the knife sticking in my back? 250 00:12:55,589 --> 00:12:57,303 Sure, honey, whatever. 251 00:12:57,461 --> 00:13:00,174 There must be some mistake. This just isn't right. 252 00:13:00,374 --> 00:13:03,087 It's approved by the proper authorities. I followed the rules. 253 00:13:03,286 --> 00:13:06,714 It's what Dad taught me. Cop for 20 years, got shot in the butt. Good man. 254 00:13:06,948 --> 00:13:09,139 Tips over sometimes when he sits, but good man. 255 00:13:09,319 --> 00:13:11,987 - Beautiful sprouts. - For a beautiful lady. 256 00:13:13,022 --> 00:13:14,214 Thank you. 257 00:13:14,770 --> 00:13:16,961 - I feel sick. - That'll be $4. 258 00:13:17,141 --> 00:13:19,252 - See you, Mr. Doose. - I want to lie down. 259 00:13:20,221 --> 00:13:23,921 Lorelai, good. Tell me about the nine rooms set aside here... 260 00:13:24,173 --> 00:13:28,316 there's no name anywhere that I can see, and no credit card to hold them. Mistake? 261 00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:30,217 - No, it's for Luke. - For whom? 262 00:13:30,372 --> 00:13:33,833 - Luke from Luke's Diner. - Nine rooms for Luke from Luke's Diner. 263 00:13:34,075 --> 00:13:36,821 - French Fry convention? - No, just personal. 264 00:13:37,029 --> 00:13:40,174 - Milkshake symposium? - No, it's personal. I'm vouching for him. 265 00:13:40,399 --> 00:13:42,272 - Soda pop seminar? - Stop. 266 00:13:42,896 --> 00:13:45,927 - Pickle party? - He's got nine rooms. Now stifle. 267 00:13:47,972 --> 00:13:50,525 - Mom, hi there. - Lorelai, hello. 268 00:13:50,718 --> 00:13:54,418 I'm sorry. Did we get our signals crossed? I don't have an appointment with you. 269 00:13:54,670 --> 00:13:56,702 We have to make appointments to see each other? 270 00:13:56,876 --> 00:14:00,099 - No. But... good one. - I'm not here to see you. 271 00:14:00,328 --> 00:14:02,996 - This isn't about the DAR meeting? - No, that's ready to go. 272 00:14:03,199 --> 00:14:05,185 - I'm here to meet with Sookie. - Sookie? 273 00:14:05,363 --> 00:14:08,870 I'm a little late. Traffic was awful. Excuse me, would you? 274 00:14:14,808 --> 00:14:16,635 - Oh, my God. - Aren't they beautiful? 275 00:14:16,805 --> 00:14:18,632 - Gorgeous. What are they for? - My wedding. 276 00:14:18,802 --> 00:14:20,834 - Your wedding? - Emily, hi! 277 00:14:21,007 --> 00:14:23,390 - Is this everything I said it was? - And more. 278 00:14:23,586 --> 00:14:25,334 What do you mean they're for your wedding? 279 00:14:25,501 --> 00:14:28,485 It's this company's sample place setting. Emily set me up with them. 280 00:14:28,705 --> 00:14:31,689 They did Celine Dion's wedding and Steven Spielberg's daughter's... 281 00:14:31,908 --> 00:14:35,574 - Jack Russell Terrier's "bark" mitzvah. - You're putting me on. 282 00:14:35,819 --> 00:14:37,329 I couldn't make that up. 283 00:14:37,483 --> 00:14:40,866 Excuse me. This one's slightly asymmetrical. Fix, please. 284 00:14:41,269 --> 00:14:45,536 What is with the fancy place settings? I thought you were gonna keep it simple. 285 00:14:45,805 --> 00:14:46,802 It is simple. 286 00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,391 - It lights up. - Just flip a switch. Simple. 287 00:14:49,590 --> 00:14:52,893 - How did my mother get so involved? - She's not that involved. 288 00:14:53,127 --> 00:14:55,999 She just mentioned the other day that she knew some people... 289 00:14:56,206 --> 00:14:59,986 that could make samples of stuff for us, like table settings, flower arrangements. 290 00:15:00,241 --> 00:15:03,589 - We were gonna do the flowers ourselves. - But what a hassle that would be. 291 00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,692 It's to save money. Flowers cost a fortune. 292 00:15:05,859 --> 00:15:08,412 But the sampling of what they're doing today is free. 293 00:15:08,605 --> 00:15:10,671 - I'm not committed to any of this. - I hope not. 294 00:15:10,851 --> 00:15:12,917 It's true. I say no, it all goes away. 295 00:15:13,098 --> 00:15:14,573 - Not a penny is spent. - Okay. 296 00:15:14,721 --> 00:15:17,309 - And it's fun. - I don't want to take away your fun. 297 00:15:17,508 --> 00:15:20,731 I just want you to be careful. You've entered "Emily-land." 298 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:21,994 "Emily-land"? 299 00:15:22,127 --> 00:15:24,600 It's an upside-down world where the Horchow house is low-rent... 300 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:27,336 and diamonds less than 24 carats are Cracker Jack trinkets... 301 00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:29,840 and Bentleys are for losers who can't afford a Rolls. 302 00:15:30,032 --> 00:15:31,826 - But I'm okay. Really. - All right. 303 00:15:31,988 --> 00:15:34,292 I have to help Luke with the lunch rush, so I gotta go. 304 00:15:34,483 --> 00:15:37,945 - Go. We're fine. - Okay. Bye, Mom. 305 00:15:38,895 --> 00:15:42,356 Is that a fingerprint? My god! That's a fingerprint! Who touched this? 306 00:15:42,598 --> 00:15:43,744 Let me see your hands. 307 00:15:44,469 --> 00:15:46,660 TAYLOR: [Muttering] Turnips, butternut... 308 00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:49,648 - Turnips. - What? 309 00:15:49,837 --> 00:15:52,391 - What about turnips? - Why did you say "turnips?" 310 00:15:52,583 --> 00:15:54,377 - Because you said "turnips." - No, I didn't. 311 00:15:54,538 --> 00:15:58,080 - I think you did. - No, but I've got turnips. Good ones, too. 312 00:15:58,366 --> 00:16:02,713 They're not as big as that crinite freak's, but who needs bloated turnips? 313 00:16:02,985 --> 00:16:06,855 Mine are unassuming. I have nice, humble turnips. 314 00:16:07,103 --> 00:16:08,374 Okey-dokey. 315 00:16:10,348 --> 00:16:11,416 Taylor's wigging. 316 00:16:11,556 --> 00:16:14,745 He's been sitting there like the final days of Dick Nixon for an hour. 317 00:16:14,967 --> 00:16:16,601 Keep an eye on him. 318 00:16:19,377 --> 00:16:21,727 - Hello, there. How's it going? - Very good, young lady. 319 00:16:21,915 --> 00:16:24,821 - Still serving breakfast? - We serve it all day. What'll you have? 320 00:16:25,035 --> 00:16:27,101 - Two eggs up on toast. - Up, huh? 321 00:16:27,282 --> 00:16:29,348 - Yeah. - Wouldn't you rather have scrambled? 322 00:16:29,529 --> 00:16:32,480 - Nope, up's how I like them. - Scrambled's better. Give it a shot. 323 00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,915 Say you want two scrambled eggs on toast, please. 324 00:16:35,105 --> 00:16:37,738 Okay, young lady. Two scrambled eggs on toast. 325 00:16:39,057 --> 00:16:42,598 Adam and Eve on a raft and wreck 'em. That's real live diner talk. 326 00:16:42,843 --> 00:16:45,749 - The "wreck 'em" is the scrambled part. - I deduced that. 327 00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,709 TAYLOR: I don't believe it. LORELAI: What's the matter? 328 00:16:48,918 --> 00:16:51,664 That's Babette with an armload of rutabagas. 329 00:16:51,872 --> 00:16:55,821 And there's Miss Patty again. Since when does she eat so much fruit? 330 00:16:57,530 --> 00:16:59,085 - Hi, Kirk. - Hello. 331 00:16:59,236 --> 00:17:01,903 - Where's Luke? - He's busy with some stuff... 332 00:17:02,107 --> 00:17:04,217 so Rory and I are helping out. What can I get you? 333 00:17:04,395 --> 00:17:06,699 I want lunch, but I'm not sure what to get. 334 00:17:06,892 --> 00:17:10,161 I have a suggestion: a hamburger with some strawberry ice cream... 335 00:17:10,386 --> 00:17:12,418 - with chocolate sauce for dessert? - Sounds good. 336 00:17:12,592 --> 00:17:15,498 Yo, burn one, then pass me a pink stick and throw some mud on it! 337 00:17:15,712 --> 00:17:17,426 God, I love this business. 338 00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:19,881 Boy, it's freezing out there. 339 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:23,581 Yes, it's quite a cold snap. How about a hot blonde with sand? 340 00:17:23,825 --> 00:17:26,697 Coffee with cream and sugar would be great. Thanks. 341 00:17:26,904 --> 00:17:30,525 - Make sure its foot's out the door. - Put it in a cup to go. Got it. 342 00:17:30,773 --> 00:17:33,804 This icy weather hasn't kept customers away. They keep coming. 343 00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:36,402 A lot of vegetable soup being eaten tonight, yes sirree. 344 00:17:36,599 --> 00:17:39,584 I hope I don't put the good people at Campbell's out of business. 345 00:17:39,802 --> 00:17:42,265 Hey, Taylor. Didn't notice you there. 346 00:17:42,881 --> 00:17:44,628 - Hello. - Taking a little break? 347 00:17:44,795 --> 00:17:47,258 I don't see how if you're anywhere near as busy as I am. 348 00:17:47,457 --> 00:17:49,171 Keep waiting for a lull, never get one. 349 00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:51,475 I say to the people, "I'll be back in a jiff." 350 00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:53,612 Look at them. They're lining up there already. 351 00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:56,608 FYI, Van Halen hair, I'm plenty busy. 352 00:17:56,819 --> 00:18:00,882 But a good, well-groomed businessman with properly prepared staff... 353 00:18:01,146 --> 00:18:02,621 can take a break now and then. 354 00:18:02,769 --> 00:18:04,914 Probably helped that your store was dead, too. 355 00:18:05,099 --> 00:18:07,925 - It was not dead. - I thought it was closed when I walked by. 356 00:18:08,136 --> 00:18:10,599 Then I saw Gabby at the cash register reading a tabloid... 357 00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,433 - Shut up. - Tapping on the counter... 358 00:18:12,588 --> 00:18:14,699 - with one of those astrological scrolls. - Enough. 359 00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:17,702 - Here you go. - Gracias. Boy, it's a mob scene. 360 00:18:26,818 --> 00:18:28,089 Luke, it's me. 361 00:18:29,147 --> 00:18:31,133 Brought you a wimpy with a rose pinned on it. 362 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,297 - A what? - A turkey burger with onions. 363 00:18:33,475 --> 00:18:36,822 - Thanks. Come on. - How's the money pit coming? 364 00:18:37,053 --> 00:18:40,799 - Just... That's it. - What's the matter? 365 00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:42,419 Nothing. 366 00:18:46,705 --> 00:18:48,850 - None of them are coming, not one. - Who? 367 00:18:49,035 --> 00:18:51,067 My relatives, the ones I booked the rooms for. 368 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,191 - Not one is coming to Louie's funeral. - You're kidding. Why? 369 00:18:54,402 --> 00:18:56,354 Which lame-o excuse do you want to hear first? 370 00:18:56,524 --> 00:18:59,396 - A bunch claim they can't get out of work. - That's not so lame-o. 371 00:18:59,603 --> 00:19:02,554 Randy and Barbara don't want to miss their kid's rugby semifinal. 372 00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:05,229 - Rugby has semifinals? - My sister never even called back. 373 00:19:05,428 --> 00:19:08,062 My cousins that my dad helped put through college... 374 00:19:08,257 --> 00:19:10,368 said they were too exhausted from a fishing trip. 375 00:19:10,546 --> 00:19:15,210 And slightly disturbed cousin Frannie said she can't leave because her Petey's sick. 376 00:19:15,497 --> 00:19:16,689 - Son? - Parrot. 377 00:19:16,828 --> 00:19:19,053 - Petey, the parrot? - I saw the stupid thing once... 378 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,307 flapping its wings like crazy, banging around... 379 00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:25,392 squawking the only two words it knows over and over: "Petey" and "gorgeous." 380 00:19:25,649 --> 00:19:27,442 [Imitating parrot] Gorgeous. Petey. 381 00:19:27,604 --> 00:19:30,067 - That's disturbing. - My family's disturbing. 382 00:19:30,267 --> 00:19:31,663 I'm so sorry. 383 00:19:32,722 --> 00:19:34,754 This is wrong. This is not how it's done. 384 00:19:34,927 --> 00:19:37,117 A family member dies, you pay your respects, period. 385 00:19:37,299 --> 00:19:39,853 If they don't want to be there, you don't want them there. 386 00:19:40,044 --> 00:19:42,269 - My dad wanted them to be there. - I know. 387 00:19:42,457 --> 00:19:44,738 Louie lived in Stars Hollow most of his life. 388 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,839 So people from here will be there, right? 389 00:19:47,118 --> 00:19:48,230 Right. 390 00:19:48,449 --> 00:19:51,241 I know it's upsetting, but maybe it's better this way. 391 00:19:51,444 --> 00:19:54,667 Yeah, I guess. I really hate that bird. 392 00:19:54,898 --> 00:19:55,930 Hey, Mom. 393 00:19:56,063 --> 00:19:58,178 What's up? You got a herd of bulls shopping for china? 394 00:19:58,269 --> 00:19:59,301 - What? - Customers. 395 00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:00,942 How long have you owned a diner? 396 00:20:01,098 --> 00:20:03,606 Sorry. Jackson wants to talk to you. Says it's important. 397 00:20:03,802 --> 00:20:06,072 - About what? - I don't know. He seems upset. 398 00:20:06,257 --> 00:20:08,811 - All right. You okay? - Yeah. Thanks. 399 00:20:09,169 --> 00:20:12,597 - You might want to study that diner talk. - I'll do that tonight. 400 00:20:12,830 --> 00:20:15,781 - Where's Jess? - Probably out playing basketball. 401 00:20:16,367 --> 00:20:17,922 That little punk. 402 00:20:21,817 --> 00:20:23,088 Can I take your order? 403 00:20:23,232 --> 00:20:26,263 Yes. Bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, no mayo. 404 00:20:28,433 --> 00:20:32,099 I need a piggy-piggy with a green bed... Green blanket. 405 00:20:33,051 --> 00:20:35,037 BLT, no mayo. Rats. 406 00:20:39,666 --> 00:20:40,812 Jackson. 407 00:20:40,956 --> 00:20:42,625 - I'm a miserable man. - What's up? 408 00:20:42,787 --> 00:20:46,453 Remember that sweet, simple, affordable, little wedding Sookie and I agreed on... 409 00:20:46,698 --> 00:20:50,444 with minimal disagreement, none in fact, perhaps the first time in the history... 410 00:20:50,692 --> 00:20:53,360 of wedding planning that a couple agreed 100% on everything? 411 00:20:53,563 --> 00:20:55,708 - Yes. - Gone. Ancient history. 412 00:20:55,893 --> 00:20:58,447 It's the Library of Alexandria, the Colossus of Rhodes. 413 00:20:58,639 --> 00:21:00,988 It's Pop Rocks. It's over. And do you know why? 414 00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,766 - My mother? - Look. 415 00:21:02,924 --> 00:21:05,195 - What are they doing? - They're measuring the town. 416 00:21:05,379 --> 00:21:07,604 They're measuring the entire town with tape measures. 417 00:21:07,792 --> 00:21:08,860 Oh, my God. 418 00:21:08,999 --> 00:21:11,673 Your mother got hers at Neiman Marcus. It's platinum with gold leaf. 419 00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:14,087 - It costs more than my car. - I'm so sorry. 420 00:21:14,283 --> 00:21:17,552 I love Sookie, and I want her to have what she wants. 421 00:21:17,778 --> 00:21:21,047 - But... You see what they're doing now? - Yep. 422 00:21:21,273 --> 00:21:24,859 According to their diagrams, that's where the 16-piece orchestra goes. 423 00:21:25,101 --> 00:21:28,007 How are they gonna fit a 16-piece orchestra in the gazebo? 424 00:21:28,221 --> 00:21:30,015 - They want to move the gazebo. - What? 425 00:21:30,176 --> 00:21:33,321 A gazebo that's been there for 100 years, and they want to move it. 426 00:21:33,547 --> 00:21:34,659 Who moves a gazebo? 427 00:21:34,795 --> 00:21:38,495 What kind of twisted mind even thinks about moving a gazebo? 428 00:21:38,747 --> 00:21:40,938 - Okay. I'll take care of this. - She's so excited. 429 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:44,627 She's brainwashed. She's Patricia Hearst and my mother is the SLA. 430 00:21:44,863 --> 00:21:47,134 - I just hope it's not too late. - I hope so, too. 431 00:21:47,318 --> 00:21:49,225 - Watch the shirt. - Cork it. 432 00:21:58,178 --> 00:22:01,288 MISS PATTY: It seems the right thing to do. TAYLOR: I concur. 433 00:22:01,506 --> 00:22:03,617 When one gazes at Stars Hollow... 434 00:22:03,795 --> 00:22:06,905 one can easily overlook a vital component of its beauty... 435 00:22:07,123 --> 00:22:10,426 and that's the humble, yet spunky twinkle light. 436 00:22:10,701 --> 00:22:12,892 - Holy cow. - It doesn't get fruitier. 437 00:22:13,073 --> 00:22:15,059 Harry's House of Twinkle Lights has been an 438 00:22:15,071 --> 00:22:17,022 integral part of this town for 20 years... 439 00:22:17,275 --> 00:22:19,704 so it's only right that we honor his retirement. 440 00:22:19,896 --> 00:22:23,279 So I hereby designate next Tuesday, "Harry, the Twinkle Light Man... 441 00:22:23,515 --> 00:22:25,978 "from Harry's House of Twinkle Lights" day. 442 00:22:26,553 --> 00:22:28,459 That just trips off the tongue. 443 00:22:29,591 --> 00:22:32,337 - Late again, are we? - Yes. I hope I'm not pregnant. 444 00:22:32,544 --> 00:22:33,542 What? 445 00:22:33,668 --> 00:22:35,663 - Are these seats taken? - Don't drag me into this. 446 00:22:35,789 --> 00:22:39,489 You have to work on your punctuality. I banged the meeting in a half an hour ago. 447 00:22:39,743 --> 00:22:40,740 Dirty. 448 00:22:40,866 --> 00:22:44,214 I'm gonna take advantage of this unexpected pause in our proceedings... 449 00:22:44,444 --> 00:22:47,078 to confer with Miss Patty about the next item on our agenda. 450 00:22:47,273 --> 00:22:48,790 - What did we miss? - Harry's retiring. 451 00:22:48,896 --> 00:22:50,994 - Twinkle Light Man? - What do we do for twinkle lights? 452 00:22:51,018 --> 00:22:53,004 - Go to any discount store. - Blasphemy. 453 00:22:53,182 --> 00:22:54,657 What are you doing here, anyhow? 454 00:22:54,804 --> 00:22:58,311 This is a town meeting for people who participate in and care about the town. 455 00:22:58,549 --> 00:23:01,102 Corky's Country Cavalcade on public access was pre-empted. 456 00:23:01,295 --> 00:23:03,259 Thought I'd check out the next best thing. 457 00:23:03,271 --> 00:23:04,484 I'm surprised to see you. 458 00:23:04,707 --> 00:23:07,896 I haven't been able to get any of the war re-enactors on the phone... 459 00:23:08,118 --> 00:23:10,104 and I have to confirm them for Louie's funeral. 460 00:23:10,282 --> 00:23:13,471 The last order of business is a matter relating personally to me. 461 00:23:13,693 --> 00:23:16,917 - So I'm going to give Miss Patty my gavel. - Again. Dirty. 462 00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:20,178 Stop that. Now, don't go power mad. 463 00:23:21,016 --> 00:23:23,762 All right. Gee. 464 00:23:23,970 --> 00:23:25,287 Now... 465 00:23:25,427 --> 00:23:29,967 The chair recognizes Taylor Doose. Taylor, you have the floor. 466 00:23:30,336 --> 00:23:31,448 Thank you, Patty. 467 00:23:31,584 --> 00:23:34,456 My issue, ladies and gentlemen, is in the form of a grievance... 468 00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:38,612 against this hirsute hippie who opened a produce stand in the park. 469 00:23:38,907 --> 00:23:41,131 - Oh, yeah. Killer veggies. - Tasty. 470 00:23:41,528 --> 00:23:45,114 - His squash is beautiful. - Sexy. It's sexy squash. 471 00:23:45,481 --> 00:23:49,623 Sexy or not, I demand that this man produce his permit posthaste. 472 00:23:49,891 --> 00:23:51,446 Got it right here. 473 00:23:54,509 --> 00:23:58,414 Just what I thought. This is not the proper permit for this kind of business. 474 00:23:58,670 --> 00:24:03,096 This is a Type 24B. Otherwise known as a Cart, Kiosk, Cart/Kiosk permit. 475 00:24:03,829 --> 00:24:07,256 - This is not valid for your business. - Why does it say it twice? 476 00:24:07,615 --> 00:24:09,920 You said, "Cart, kiosk, cart, kiosk." 477 00:24:10,111 --> 00:24:11,336 - It's repetitive. - And redundant. 478 00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:12,500 - It's repetitive. - And redundant. 479 00:24:12,524 --> 00:24:14,987 - We certainly are entertaining, Mac. - Indubitably, Tosh. 480 00:24:15,188 --> 00:24:17,900 It's not redundant. It's three separate things. 481 00:24:18,100 --> 00:24:20,767 It's a cart, a kiosk, and a mechanical hybrid... 482 00:24:20,971 --> 00:24:23,763 referred to as a cart/kiosk. 483 00:24:23,966 --> 00:24:25,794 Hence, cart, kiosk, cart/kiosk. 484 00:24:25,963 --> 00:24:26,996 He did it again. 485 00:24:27,128 --> 00:24:29,194 He's been stressed lately. His store is deserted. 486 00:24:29,375 --> 00:24:30,646 I'll make it simple: 487 00:24:30,789 --> 00:24:34,660 This is for businesses that roll in in the morning and roll out at night. 488 00:24:34,909 --> 00:24:36,385 Emphasis on the word "roll." 489 00:24:36,531 --> 00:24:39,482 Rolling businesses. Businesses that roll. 490 00:24:39,694 --> 00:24:41,646 But I carry my tables out at night. 491 00:24:41,815 --> 00:24:46,275 You're supposed to roll them, Rapunzel, and carrying isn't rolling, is it? 492 00:24:46,559 --> 00:24:50,383 I mean, did anyone hear the word "rolling" come out of his mouth? 493 00:24:50,636 --> 00:24:54,097 Check the transcript. You'll find one word missing: rolling. 494 00:24:54,339 --> 00:24:57,085 - Transcript? - Taylor, this isn't Charlie Rose. 495 00:24:57,293 --> 00:24:58,803 He's losing his marbles. 496 00:24:58,957 --> 00:25:01,908 - It's just a personal vendetta. - His store is deserted. 497 00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:05,741 - I think we should end the meeting here. - Wait a second. Wait a second. 498 00:25:06,988 --> 00:25:11,017 You, there, when Lady Godiva here wanted to be town troubadour over you... 499 00:25:11,273 --> 00:25:13,827 I stood by your side. Why aren't you backing me now? 500 00:25:14,018 --> 00:25:17,843 'Cause you left me twisting for a long time before you did, and it didn't feel good. 501 00:25:18,096 --> 00:25:19,686 I wrote a song about the experience. 502 00:25:19,844 --> 00:25:22,512 I heard it. It's called Taylor Left Me Twisting. 503 00:25:22,714 --> 00:25:24,303 - It's really good. - You think? 504 00:25:24,462 --> 00:25:26,494 'Cause I'm having trouble with the chorus. 505 00:25:26,667 --> 00:25:30,129 Taylor left me twisting He set my eyes a-misting 506 00:25:30,370 --> 00:25:32,505 I'm not sure if it has that thing, though. 507 00:25:32,517 --> 00:25:33,639 No, I love that part. 508 00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:37,769 I actually thought that maybe at the end, you could do more about the sweater. 509 00:25:38,026 --> 00:25:39,023 We'll talk. 510 00:25:39,149 --> 00:25:40,783 I'm gonna wrap this up. 511 00:25:41,188 --> 00:25:44,774 Patty, how would you feel if this guy decided to open... 512 00:25:45,015 --> 00:25:49,442 the Longhaired Freak School of Dance? Or the Longhaired Freak Diner, Luke? 513 00:25:49,717 --> 00:25:53,178 Or the Longhaired Freak Bookstore? It's not good, right? 514 00:25:53,420 --> 00:25:56,847 Everybody who agrees that we would not feel good about that, say aye. 515 00:25:57,082 --> 00:25:58,079 Aye. 516 00:25:58,205 --> 00:26:00,316 - Meeting adjourned. Good night. - Another fun one! 517 00:26:00,785 --> 00:26:02,578 LUKE: Taylor, hold on a sec. 518 00:26:02,989 --> 00:26:06,372 Don't you have some cleaning up to do over at the diner? 519 00:26:09,064 --> 00:26:11,652 Guys, come on. You heard me calling you. Stop. 520 00:26:11,852 --> 00:26:15,041 - What is it, Luke? - My uncle Louie's funeral's tomorrow. 521 00:26:15,263 --> 00:26:16,977 I haven't heard from any of you. 522 00:26:17,136 --> 00:26:20,563 He was a World War ll veteran, and that's what you re-enactor freaks do... 523 00:26:20,797 --> 00:26:23,986 you go to vets' funerals. So you're gonna be there, right? Hello? 524 00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:27,398 - You said you were gonna talk to him. - Burt said he was gonna do it. 525 00:26:27,621 --> 00:26:29,687 - It's Taylor's job. - You always pass the buck. 526 00:26:29,867 --> 00:26:32,092 - Talk to me about what? - You might as well know. 527 00:26:32,281 --> 00:26:34,346 - We don't want to go to Louie's funeral. - What? 528 00:26:34,527 --> 00:26:37,081 - We all hated Louie. - That's not true. 529 00:26:37,273 --> 00:26:40,735 He always had a scowl on his face, not a kind word for anybody. 530 00:26:40,976 --> 00:26:44,324 He would light those hideous cigars, blow smoke in people's faces... 531 00:26:44,554 --> 00:26:46,461 and then spit after each puff. 532 00:26:46,634 --> 00:26:49,347 - He was disgusting. - He kicked my dog when I was a kid. 533 00:26:49,547 --> 00:26:52,691 - He hit on my wife repeatedly. - Toto was always different after that. 534 00:26:52,917 --> 00:26:54,347 My wife was much affected as well. 535 00:26:54,498 --> 00:26:58,482 I'd toss her something to fetch. She'd run after it and then forget about it. 536 00:26:58,742 --> 00:27:02,169 - She stopped enjoying her soap operas. - She'd just lie down and go to sleep. 537 00:27:02,404 --> 00:27:05,037 - This is an exaggeration. - We're not exaggerating. 538 00:27:05,233 --> 00:27:06,902 We threw a big party when he left town. 539 00:27:07,063 --> 00:27:09,617 I made love to my wife that night like I never have. 540 00:27:09,810 --> 00:27:13,237 My Toto barked a happy bark, then quietly stopped breathing. She was old. 541 00:27:13,471 --> 00:27:16,138 - I don't believe this. - You knew the guy. 542 00:27:16,342 --> 00:27:18,725 This man was my uncle, and a war veteran. 543 00:27:18,921 --> 00:27:22,587 He deserves a veteran's funeral. But, if you guys are too lazy to show up... 544 00:27:22,833 --> 00:27:26,975 He's the lazy one. Never once did he participate in a town function. 545 00:27:27,243 --> 00:27:29,830 When we re-enactors gathered, he'd throw things at us. 546 00:27:30,030 --> 00:27:33,458 - And not soft things. Hard things. - Rocks and small tools. 547 00:27:33,691 --> 00:27:34,837 I've heard enough. 548 00:27:34,981 --> 00:27:37,965 And he got meaner as he got older. Never married, never had kids. 549 00:27:38,185 --> 00:27:41,408 - A real loner. - To hell with you guys. Who needs you? 550 00:27:43,136 --> 00:27:46,439 I might throw rocks and small tools myself next time I see you. 551 00:27:46,672 --> 00:27:50,100 - A defensive hothead just like Louie. - Practically clones. 552 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:54,503 Oh, my god. This is so high tech. 553 00:27:54,786 --> 00:27:56,103 What's going on? 554 00:27:56,242 --> 00:27:58,308 I'm downloading wedding stuff from Prague. 555 00:27:58,489 --> 00:28:01,043 - You're kidding. - It's streaming in right now. 556 00:28:01,234 --> 00:28:03,788 That's Internet talk. Streaming. Did you know that? 557 00:28:03,981 --> 00:28:07,363 It's not called Czechoslovakia anymore. Just Czech Republic. 558 00:28:07,601 --> 00:28:10,586 Slovakia is its own separate thing. It's weird, isn't it? 559 00:28:10,804 --> 00:28:14,187 Like saying there's no more Connecticut. It's just "Connec" and "Ticut." 560 00:28:14,424 --> 00:28:18,204 - What are you downloading from Prague? - This will much amuse you. 561 00:28:18,543 --> 00:28:21,891 - Color samples for the big ceramic stands. - Stands for what? 562 00:28:22,121 --> 00:28:25,106 - For the giant papier-mâché mushrooms. - What are the mushrooms for? 563 00:28:25,325 --> 00:28:28,151 For the midgets dressed like angels to dance under, silly. 564 00:28:28,362 --> 00:28:29,394 Oh, my God. 565 00:28:29,527 --> 00:28:32,558 Emily found the best papier-mâché mushroom maker in Paris. 566 00:28:32,772 --> 00:28:35,406 He's much better than the guy in Belgium. What a hack. 567 00:28:35,601 --> 00:28:38,189 I need you to stop staring at the screen. We need to talk. 568 00:28:38,389 --> 00:28:40,137 Please don't talk her out of these things. 569 00:28:40,304 --> 00:28:43,414 I do not want to die without seeing midgets dancing with mushrooms. 570 00:28:43,631 --> 00:28:45,265 - Stay out of this. - You're no fun. 571 00:28:45,421 --> 00:28:46,454 What is it, honey? 572 00:28:46,585 --> 00:28:50,887 The danger of Emily-world is that you don't always know you're in it... 573 00:28:51,162 --> 00:28:55,146 - when actually you are. - Not this Emily-world stuff again. 574 00:28:55,407 --> 00:28:58,391 Have you run the numbers on any of this? What is this costing you? 575 00:28:58,610 --> 00:29:02,389 I don't know the full cost, but your mother is getting me 50% off of everything. 576 00:29:02,646 --> 00:29:05,200 - She is so connected. - But 50% off a load of money... 577 00:29:05,392 --> 00:29:08,026 is still half a load of money. You don't have that to spend. 578 00:29:08,221 --> 00:29:11,569 - If I scrimp, I can afford a quarter load. - That's still too much. 579 00:29:11,799 --> 00:29:16,181 - Your mother said she'd chip in a little. - That is way inappropriate. 580 00:29:16,584 --> 00:29:19,376 I didn't take her up on it, but it was nice. 581 00:29:20,246 --> 00:29:24,706 This isn't you: the midgets, mushrooms, and God knows what else. 582 00:29:25,987 --> 00:29:28,540 - And it isn't Jackson either. - What do you mean? 583 00:29:28,733 --> 00:29:30,605 - We talked. - You and Jackson talked? 584 00:29:30,772 --> 00:29:34,552 I'm sorry, but he came to me all upset. And I love both of you... 585 00:29:34,808 --> 00:29:37,759 and it just seemed like it was time for me to meddle. 586 00:29:37,969 --> 00:29:40,114 - He was upset? - He was pretty upset. 587 00:29:40,300 --> 00:29:43,727 - Why didn't he just talk to me? - Because he's Jackson. 588 00:29:43,961 --> 00:29:46,911 He wants you to be happy and to give you everything you want. 589 00:29:47,123 --> 00:29:50,392 So what it comes down to is, is this what you want? 590 00:29:51,450 --> 00:29:52,448 Well... 591 00:29:53,114 --> 00:29:56,894 Maybe the midgets are a little over the top and the mushrooms... 592 00:29:59,355 --> 00:30:03,339 Oh, my God. It's all sounding so silly now. 593 00:30:03,599 --> 00:30:07,186 - You're coming out of it. Keep going. - No, it's not what I want. 594 00:30:07,427 --> 00:30:11,331 We were supposed to keep this nice and simple. God, we had it all worked out. 595 00:30:11,588 --> 00:30:13,620 - So go back. - I will go back. 596 00:30:14,459 --> 00:30:16,524 That is if Jackson still wants to marry me. 597 00:30:16,536 --> 00:30:17,920 Of course he still wants to. 598 00:30:18,162 --> 00:30:20,715 I'm gonna call him and tell him it's all changing back. 599 00:30:20,907 --> 00:30:22,053 Good. 600 00:30:22,197 --> 00:30:25,624 I should call and cancel some stuff first. I've got to call Belgium, Oslo... 601 00:30:25,859 --> 00:30:28,889 - Copenhagen, Bora Bora. - What did you order from there? 602 00:30:29,478 --> 00:30:32,270 - I'm gonna shield you from that one. - Thanks. 603 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,229 Hello. Luke. 604 00:30:35,969 --> 00:30:37,240 Slow down. 605 00:30:38,965 --> 00:30:41,552 Okay, I'll come right over. I got to go. 606 00:30:44,165 --> 00:30:46,905 [Sighing] Call and... Welcome back, friend. 607 00:30:46,917 --> 00:30:47,468 Thanks. 608 00:30:47,702 --> 00:30:51,288 I'm gonna start with Hong Kong. Hope those acrobats can get another gig. 609 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,392 - There you are. - It won't close. 610 00:30:55,565 --> 00:30:57,437 - What? - The lid. 611 00:30:59,352 --> 00:31:01,384 Hello, Louie. 612 00:31:01,556 --> 00:31:03,906 - That's Louie. - Nice tan. 613 00:31:04,427 --> 00:31:07,412 - Now you say the lid won't close? - Yes. The lid won't close. 614 00:31:07,631 --> 00:31:10,225 - Did you buy the right size? - Of course I bought the right size. 615 00:31:10,336 --> 00:31:13,320 It's the model we recommend for those of medium height and weight. 616 00:31:13,539 --> 00:31:16,331 - And he's of medium height and weight. - Why won't it close? 617 00:31:16,535 --> 00:31:20,643 Because of the stuff. He left a list of stuff he wanted buried with him. 618 00:31:20,904 --> 00:31:23,458 - It's not uncommon. - It's a very long list. 619 00:31:23,650 --> 00:31:26,953 Fishing reel, bowling trophy, a flask, his antique dueling pistols... 620 00:31:27,186 --> 00:31:28,980 his copy of Sherman's memoirs. 621 00:31:29,142 --> 00:31:31,332 - Is all the stuff in there now? - Yes, it is. 622 00:31:31,513 --> 00:31:33,942 I shoved it in the best I could, but it won't close... 623 00:31:34,134 --> 00:31:37,914 which defeats the purpose of having a damn casket in the first place. 624 00:31:38,171 --> 00:31:39,998 - May I? - Give it a shot. 625 00:31:47,074 --> 00:31:50,297 The football signed by Johnny Unitas gives it that bounce. 626 00:31:50,527 --> 00:31:54,908 What if we move the gas mask and pith helmet down towards the feet? 627 00:31:55,188 --> 00:31:58,809 That end already has every baseball card he ever bought, thousands of them. 628 00:31:59,056 --> 00:32:01,167 Bungee cord. No. 629 00:32:02,011 --> 00:32:04,679 What if we got some people from the office here... 630 00:32:04,882 --> 00:32:09,388 to sit on the lid and we could latch it? Do you have anybody you could spring? 631 00:32:09,833 --> 00:32:11,502 - I'm out of ideas. - So am I. 632 00:32:11,663 --> 00:32:14,331 You know what? To hell with this. To hell with this. 633 00:32:14,576 --> 00:32:17,482 - I can't deal with this anymore. - It has to be dealt with. 634 00:32:17,697 --> 00:32:21,158 It doesn't. It's not as if he deserves my help or my respect. 635 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,193 - The man was your uncle. - He was a jerk! 636 00:32:23,355 --> 00:32:25,863 - Don't say that. - Taylor and the guys were right. 637 00:32:26,059 --> 00:32:28,442 I was cutting Louie slack out of respect for my dad... 638 00:32:28,639 --> 00:32:32,021 but the man was rotten and mean and selfish all his life. 639 00:32:32,259 --> 00:32:34,053 He's even selfish in death. 640 00:32:34,214 --> 00:32:36,722 Other people would have loved to have those baseball cards. 641 00:32:36,918 --> 00:32:38,825 I would have loved to have had those cards. 642 00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:43,270 He's got Lou Gehrig's rookie card, Joe DiMaggio, Willie Mays, tons of others. 643 00:32:43,534 --> 00:32:47,882 But, no. My uncle, King Tut, has to take all of them to the afterlife with him. 644 00:32:48,152 --> 00:32:50,615 - Sir, your voice. - I'm done. I've had it. 645 00:32:51,689 --> 00:32:54,878 From now on, it's just the bare minimum and that's it. 646 00:32:55,101 --> 00:32:57,768 Dig a big hole and just dump the casket in unlatched. 647 00:32:57,971 --> 00:33:02,477 If stuff falls out, fine. Pile on enough dirt and make sure nothing's showing. 648 00:33:05,294 --> 00:33:07,564 I'm assuming that wouldn't be appropriate, either. 649 00:33:07,749 --> 00:33:09,542 - No. - I didn't think so. 650 00:33:15,529 --> 00:33:18,593 Young man, where's the young lady we heard so much about... 651 00:33:18,816 --> 00:33:22,357 who's using those delightful old diner phrases to place people's orders? 652 00:33:22,602 --> 00:33:25,395 It sounds so fun. Could you point her out for us? 653 00:33:25,598 --> 00:33:26,596 No. 654 00:33:27,678 --> 00:33:29,584 That's to everyone. I'll be upstairs. 655 00:33:29,759 --> 00:33:32,267 Thanks for doing the very least you could possibly do. 656 00:33:32,463 --> 00:33:33,461 You're welcome. 657 00:33:33,587 --> 00:33:36,810 - There you are. I was worried. - Sorry, I should have called. 658 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,866 Thanks for covering again. This'll be the last time. I promise. 659 00:33:40,077 --> 00:33:41,666 It's okay. Where were you? 660 00:33:41,824 --> 00:33:45,252 First, I walked around a bunch trying to clear my head. 661 00:33:45,485 --> 00:33:48,596 - Saw a lot of Hartford. What a cesspool. - You're not a city man. 662 00:33:48,814 --> 00:33:52,719 I calmed down and figured dumping Louie's body in an open grave... 663 00:33:52,975 --> 00:33:55,279 with all his stuff probably would be a little cold. 664 00:33:55,471 --> 00:33:56,468 A tad. 665 00:33:56,720 --> 00:34:00,147 I got a yellow pages and found a big-and-tall casket shop in Hartford. 666 00:34:00,381 --> 00:34:01,413 - You're kidding. - Nope. 667 00:34:01,546 --> 00:34:04,815 I found a casket for my 160-pound uncle and his 140 pounds of stuff. 668 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:08,706 Got the lid to shut the first time we tried. So the funeral's on as scheduled. 669 00:34:08,952 --> 00:34:11,619 - Good. - I don't know why I'm doing this. 670 00:34:11,823 --> 00:34:14,535 - For your dad. - I guess, although he's dead... 671 00:34:14,735 --> 00:34:16,959 so he'd never know if I was doing it any different. 672 00:34:17,149 --> 00:34:18,181 He knows. 673 00:34:18,313 --> 00:34:22,933 He's got the big Luke picture screen on 24 hours a day, he watches and smiles. 674 00:34:23,431 --> 00:34:25,656 And you're doing it 'cause you're you. 675 00:34:25,844 --> 00:34:28,989 I'm gonna change, then you can retire from your diner career forever. 676 00:34:29,214 --> 00:34:31,518 No, it's fun. I came up with some new diner phrases. 677 00:34:31,710 --> 00:34:33,742 - You know what a "lucky duck cluck" is? - No. 678 00:34:33,916 --> 00:34:36,742 It's foie gras with chicken and green shamrock frosting. 679 00:34:36,953 --> 00:34:39,859 - Why would anyone order that? - If they're high. 680 00:34:40,656 --> 00:34:42,165 - Good grief. - What? 681 00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,511 Bad vibe sandwich just came in. You better retreat. 682 00:34:44,691 --> 00:34:46,200 I won't be long. 683 00:34:46,605 --> 00:34:49,636 - Hi, Mom. - Since when do you work here? 684 00:34:49,851 --> 00:34:51,678 I'm just lending a hand. What's going on? 685 00:34:51,848 --> 00:34:54,152 I went by the inn to work with Sookie on her wedding. 686 00:34:54,345 --> 00:34:55,342 Yeah? 687 00:34:55,468 --> 00:34:57,420 - And she fired me. - She didn't fire you. 688 00:34:57,631 --> 00:34:59,981 She's changed her mind on all the things we planned. 689 00:35:00,169 --> 00:35:01,758 - Maybe she did. - No, she didn't. 690 00:35:01,917 --> 00:35:04,300 I know what's behind this. That is, who's behind this. 691 00:35:04,497 --> 00:35:07,369 It was getting to be too much for her and her fiancé. 692 00:35:07,575 --> 00:35:09,879 - I knew it. - These are not wealthy people. 693 00:35:10,072 --> 00:35:12,864 Do you understand that? They're saving for a home... 694 00:35:13,068 --> 00:35:16,337 and your midgets were dancing between them and their dreams. 695 00:35:16,562 --> 00:35:19,388 - You say "midgets" like it's so absurd. - Do you hear yourself? 696 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,744 I don't see what was wrong with my helping Sookie plan her wedding. 697 00:35:22,969 --> 00:35:24,320 - Mom, come on. - What? 698 00:35:24,468 --> 00:35:27,612 - You weren't planning Sookie's wedding. - Whose wedding was I planning? 699 00:35:27,837 --> 00:35:30,108 - Mine. - Don't be ridiculous. 700 00:35:30,292 --> 00:35:33,085 Your vision for this wedding and all the over-the-top stuff... 701 00:35:33,288 --> 00:35:37,511 like flowers, bunting, champagne fountain, and the haute-couture dress. 702 00:35:37,781 --> 00:35:41,606 Who's wearing that wedding dress in your mind's eye, Mom? Sookie? Or me? 703 00:35:41,859 --> 00:35:45,207 - I wasn't planning your wedding, Lorelai. - Right. 704 00:35:45,769 --> 00:35:47,597 The wedding I was planning was for Sookie. 705 00:35:47,767 --> 00:35:51,228 The mushrooms and colors, they all seemed like fun, a little crazy... 706 00:35:51,469 --> 00:35:53,345 just like she is. It definitely was not for you. 707 00:35:53,426 --> 00:35:54,423 Okay, Mom. 708 00:35:54,549 --> 00:35:57,057 I know that you'd never let me plan your wedding. 709 00:35:57,253 --> 00:35:59,841 I gave up on that dream a long time ago. 710 00:36:00,124 --> 00:36:03,507 Yours was going to be a Russian winter theme, the Romanovs. 711 00:36:03,743 --> 00:36:06,933 - Before the firing squad, I assume? - Snow-white roses... 712 00:36:07,155 --> 00:36:10,503 trees with white lights and candles. Snow everywhere. 713 00:36:10,733 --> 00:36:13,764 You arriving in a silver sleigh with white horses. 714 00:36:13,979 --> 00:36:14,977 Wow. 715 00:36:15,477 --> 00:36:17,145 - You hate the idea. - No, I just... 716 00:36:17,307 --> 00:36:18,305 You just hate it. 717 00:36:18,847 --> 00:36:22,593 - It just doesn't seem like me. - It would have been beautiful. 718 00:36:23,049 --> 00:36:25,001 I'm sure it would have been. 719 00:36:25,462 --> 00:36:27,891 It's obvious that wouldn't be appropriate anymore... 720 00:36:28,084 --> 00:36:30,717 being as I'm probably standing in your reception hall. 721 00:36:30,913 --> 00:36:33,466 - Excuse me? - Burgers and fries for the dinner... 722 00:36:33,659 --> 00:36:36,723 the bride walks down the aisle with a ketchup dispenser in her hand. 723 00:36:36,946 --> 00:36:39,380 - Tell me what you're talking about. - I'm talking about Luke. 724 00:36:39,526 --> 00:36:41,001 Luke? Mom! 725 00:36:41,148 --> 00:36:44,258 - It's obvious, Lorelai. - No, it's not, Mom. 726 00:36:44,476 --> 00:36:46,508 - You're with him constantly. - He feeds me. 727 00:36:46,681 --> 00:36:49,587 - You bring up his name constantly. - Once again, he feeds me. 728 00:36:49,802 --> 00:36:53,389 - The moment he calls, you run to his side. - He's my friend. He needed me. 729 00:36:53,630 --> 00:36:55,979 - I had to be there. - I know you did. 730 00:36:59,871 --> 00:37:01,380 - Hi. - Hello. 731 00:37:04,364 --> 00:37:07,270 I have to go. I'll see you for dinner tonight. 732 00:37:07,817 --> 00:37:10,564 And Luke, I'm sure I'll see you again soon. 733 00:37:17,013 --> 00:37:20,837 - What do you think of the Romanovs? - They probably had it coming. 734 00:37:21,090 --> 00:37:22,917 A match made in heaven. 735 00:37:28,330 --> 00:37:31,281 REVEREND: We're here to honor Louie, to pay our respects... 736 00:37:31,491 --> 00:37:33,874 and to bid him a sorrowful goodbye. 737 00:37:34,362 --> 00:37:35,871 - You okay? - Yeah. 738 00:37:36,027 --> 00:37:38,978 - I'm not big on funerals in general. - Nobody is. 739 00:37:39,314 --> 00:37:43,298 He passed away in his sleep, so the end came peacefully for Louie... 740 00:37:43,558 --> 00:37:46,145 which I'm sure is a great comfort to all who knew him. 741 00:37:46,345 --> 00:37:49,296 The passing-away part was a great comfort for all who knew him. 742 00:37:49,507 --> 00:37:51,301 - I didn't know him. - Good thing. 743 00:37:51,462 --> 00:37:55,287 But I understand he was a fine man, destined to be missed by many. 744 00:37:55,540 --> 00:37:58,809 - Especially the ones that were suing him. - Stop. Sorry, Father. 745 00:37:59,035 --> 00:38:00,862 - Reverend. - Right. 746 00:38:01,032 --> 00:38:05,458 Now let us witness Louie Danes as he is interred and brought to the Lord. 747 00:38:11,059 --> 00:38:14,930 It was a nice and intimate service. 748 00:38:15,761 --> 00:38:18,711 I guess everybody deserves something at the end. 749 00:38:19,713 --> 00:38:22,619 - Thanks for coming. - I wouldn't have missed it. 750 00:38:25,580 --> 00:38:27,327 That ain't me, is it? 751 00:38:28,991 --> 00:38:30,137 What are you talking about? 752 00:38:30,281 --> 00:38:32,153 What Taylor said about me being like Louie: 753 00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:36,429 a loner, never being married and stuff? I'm getting crankier as I get older. 754 00:38:36,688 --> 00:38:39,560 - He's not so far off. - You are not your uncle. 755 00:38:40,226 --> 00:38:41,223 I mean... 756 00:38:41,890 --> 00:38:46,191 Would Louie ever build someone a huppah or help fix things around... 757 00:38:46,466 --> 00:38:50,087 someone's house without being asked, or make a special coffee cake... 758 00:38:50,336 --> 00:38:53,480 - with balloons for a girl's 16th birthday? - Rory told you about that? 759 00:38:53,706 --> 00:38:55,933 Yes. Would Louie have taken in his sister's 760 00:38:55,945 --> 00:38:58,132 kid without asking for anything in return? 761 00:38:58,407 --> 00:39:00,279 No one would've trusted Louie with their kid. 762 00:39:00,446 --> 00:39:02,717 He probably would have forgotten to feed him. 763 00:39:02,901 --> 00:39:05,807 - You get my point. - Yeah, I get it. 764 00:39:07,352 --> 00:39:09,066 [Drum beating] 765 00:39:10,806 --> 00:39:12,122 What's that? 766 00:39:17,047 --> 00:39:19,998 - Is that Andrew? - I believe it is. 767 00:39:21,374 --> 00:39:23,485 Left, right, left. 768 00:39:23,662 --> 00:39:25,296 That's all of them. 769 00:39:31,317 --> 00:39:32,748 Company halt. 770 00:39:33,481 --> 00:39:34,990 Company salute! 771 00:39:38,765 --> 00:39:39,911 Thanks. 772 00:39:41,262 --> 00:39:43,725 - It's what your dad wanted. - Yeah. 773 00:39:46,878 --> 00:39:49,103 And Louie would have hated this. 774 00:39:50,456 --> 00:39:52,170 That's just a fringe benefit. 775 00:39:52,329 --> 00:39:54,077 Present arms! 776 00:39:57,281 --> 00:39:59,187 [Discordant trumpeting] 777 00:40:10,428 --> 00:40:11,858 Do you think he's in heaven? 778 00:40:12,009 --> 00:40:15,039 I hope so, just so my dad can kick his butt around the place. 779 00:40:15,255 --> 00:40:17,967 - Can you kick in heaven? - It's probably frowned upon. 780 00:40:18,167 --> 00:40:20,277 Yeah, plus you're all see-through and gauzy. 781 00:40:20,455 --> 00:40:24,155 - Dad's foot could go right through him. - This is a silly conversation. 782 00:40:24,407 --> 00:40:26,790 - What's all this? - I have no idea. 783 00:40:32,063 --> 00:40:33,096 Hi! 784 00:40:33,229 --> 00:40:35,056 - What's going on? - It's kind of like a wake. 785 00:40:35,226 --> 00:40:36,223 - A wake? - For Louie? 786 00:40:36,390 --> 00:40:38,773 - I thought you set it up. - I didn't set it up. 787 00:40:38,970 --> 00:40:42,556 It's going well. People brought a ton of food, if you guys are hungry. 788 00:40:42,797 --> 00:40:44,670 - This is unexpected. - Very. 789 00:40:44,836 --> 00:40:47,947 - Don't you have wakes for people you like? - Think it might be for you. 790 00:40:48,165 --> 00:40:49,959 - Am I dead? - Face it. People like you. 791 00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:53,071 - Shut up. - How can they resist charm like that? 792 00:40:54,156 --> 00:40:58,061 Hey, Taylor. Cool threads. Very "One if by land." 793 00:40:58,317 --> 00:40:59,315 [Taylor grunts] 794 00:40:59,523 --> 00:41:02,746 - I see you're digging into the vegetables. - Thanks for the play-by-play. 795 00:41:02,977 --> 00:41:04,690 Brought those myself. 796 00:41:05,514 --> 00:41:07,104 How was the funeral? 797 00:41:07,512 --> 00:41:10,417 Shouldn't you be tending to your little stand out there, friend? 798 00:41:10,632 --> 00:41:12,459 - The stand's gone. - What? 799 00:41:12,629 --> 00:41:16,215 - I'm all packed up. I'm out of here. - I don't get it. 800 00:41:16,665 --> 00:41:19,934 I grow this stuff in my backyard, and as of yesterday, sold it all. 801 00:41:20,161 --> 00:41:21,716 - You sold it all? - Sold it all. 802 00:41:21,866 --> 00:41:24,692 Made enough money to do some traveling. Have you been to Israel? 803 00:41:24,903 --> 00:41:28,569 Turbulent, but I thought I'd go down and try and plant some peace down there. 804 00:41:28,814 --> 00:41:31,959 - See if it grows, see if it spreads. - Shut up. 805 00:41:32,226 --> 00:41:35,132 Why did you put me through all that hoo-ha at the town meeting... 806 00:41:35,346 --> 00:41:37,651 if your vegetable business was just temporary? 807 00:41:37,843 --> 00:41:41,112 You put yourself through it, Taylor. You put yourself through it. 808 00:41:44,749 --> 00:41:47,495 - Nice spread. - People have too much free time here. 809 00:41:47,704 --> 00:41:49,135 - You did a good thing. - What do you mean? 810 00:41:49,159 --> 00:41:52,746 - I thought my mom set this up. She didn't. - So? It wasn't me. 811 00:41:53,071 --> 00:41:54,864 - It wasn't? - No, no way. 812 00:41:56,108 --> 00:41:58,219 - It wasn't me. - If you say so. 813 00:41:58,397 --> 00:42:01,904 The crazy ballet teacher asked when Luke was getting back from the funeral... 814 00:42:02,141 --> 00:42:05,568 if I could unlock the door. I did and went back to sleep. 815 00:42:05,885 --> 00:42:08,791 - So you did do a little something. - I unlocked the door. 816 00:42:09,006 --> 00:42:11,514 So people could come in here and put this together. Nice. 817 00:42:11,710 --> 00:42:13,776 - Nice for them, not for me. - You facilitated it. 818 00:42:13,958 --> 00:42:16,704 You made it happen. So you're officially part of our town now. 819 00:42:16,911 --> 00:42:17,979 - Wait a minute. - Welcome. 820 00:42:18,117 --> 00:42:19,468 I'm not part of this town. 821 00:42:19,616 --> 00:42:22,249 See you for some tree planting at the Arbor Day festival. 822 00:42:22,445 --> 00:42:25,555 Maybe I can knock over a liquor store while everyone's planting trees. 823 00:42:25,774 --> 00:42:27,680 As long as it's a liquor store in town. 824 00:42:27,854 --> 00:42:32,076 It's Halloween, and we're lucky Louie doesn't have razor wire around his yard. 825 00:42:33,262 --> 00:42:37,530 Finally, one of the kids gets courageous and goes sauntering up to the door. 826 00:42:38,006 --> 00:42:39,436 He goes, "Trick or treat!" 827 00:42:39,587 --> 00:42:43,854 Louie throws the door open and says, "Did you get a Reese's cup tonight?" 828 00:42:44,122 --> 00:42:46,709 The kid looks in his bag and says, "Yes, sir, I did." 829 00:42:46,910 --> 00:42:50,734 Louie grabs it, says "Thank you," and slams the door in his face. 830 00:42:53,109 --> 00:42:55,379 - I'm sorry I never met him. - He was colorful. 831 00:42:55,564 --> 00:42:57,198 I never trick-or-treated again. 832 00:42:57,352 --> 00:43:01,461 One day I'm at the post office in line when Louie just about knocks me over. 833 00:43:01,721 --> 00:43:04,309 He cuts in line. I said, "Louie, there's a line!" 834 00:43:04,509 --> 00:43:07,812 He says, "Kiss my butt." I said, "You mind your manners." 835 00:43:08,045 --> 00:43:12,074 He says, "Please kiss my butt," and drops his pants. 836 00:43:14,328 --> 00:43:18,073 I got one. Louie was parked outside AI's Pancake World... 837 00:43:18,322 --> 00:43:20,546 and I was trying to pull in the space behind him. 838 00:43:20,735 --> 00:43:23,958 All of a sudden, he starts to back up. I honked my horn...