1
00:00:02,658 --> 00:00:05,850
And then the rabbit says,
"How about that schnitzel?"
2
00:00:06,489 --> 00:00:07,557
Well?
3
00:00:07,738 --> 00:00:10,691
- Well, what? There's no punch line.
- That is the punch line.
4
00:00:10,902 --> 00:00:13,095
"How about that schnitzel?"
That's the punch line?
5
00:00:13,275 --> 00:00:14,627
Not when you say it like that.
6
00:00:14,773 --> 00:00:16,886
- How am I supposed to say it?
- Like a punch line.
7
00:00:17,063 --> 00:00:18,733
- "How about that schnitzel?"
- Forget it.
8
00:00:18,896 --> 00:00:20,214
- What?
- You ruined my joke.
9
00:00:20,352 --> 00:00:22,578
No, the punch line
ruined your joke.
10
00:00:22,767 --> 00:00:24,959
- What?
- You admit it's a punch line.
11
00:00:25,141 --> 00:00:27,094
- Oh, my God.
- I'm vindicated.
12
00:00:27,264 --> 00:00:30,092
"How about that schnitzel?" is
officially declared a punch line.
13
00:00:30,304 --> 00:00:31,134
A really bad one.
14
00:00:31,146 --> 00:00:33,097
Who asked for the
Norton Critical Edition?
15
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:37,208
All the schnitzel and I wanted was
some recognition and now we have it.
16
00:00:37,465 --> 00:00:39,657
- Man, it's packed in here.
- I guess we counter it.
17
00:00:39,837 --> 00:00:41,269
I guess we do.
18
00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:44,932
- What?
- What do you know?
19
00:00:45,083 --> 00:00:47,514
- Your face really can't freeze that way.
- Are you okay?
20
00:00:47,706 --> 00:00:50,977
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm great. It's big,
fat, happy sunshine day for me.
21
00:00:51,203 --> 00:00:52,998
- Business looks good.
- The place is packed.
22
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:55,511
It's taken over by
the J. Crew catalog.
23
00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:56,813
Look, babies!
24
00:00:56,949 --> 00:00:59,299
- I never want to hear that again.
- Find the yellow ball.
25
00:00:59,488 --> 00:01:02,679
The yellow ball. Yellow duck.
26
00:01:03,069 --> 00:01:06,135
- Ball.
- Yellow ball.
27
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:09,583
Every weekend, the same stupid
group comes here, takes all my tables...
28
00:01:09,813 --> 00:01:11,801
and every chair they
get their sticky hands on.
29
00:01:11,978 --> 00:01:13,886
And they do that.
They sit, they stand.
30
00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:16,615
One person holds a kid,
another person holds a kid.
31
00:01:16,808 --> 00:01:18,080
I've got choo-choo Joe.
32
00:01:18,223 --> 00:01:20,052
This guy runs in and
out and back and forth.
33
00:01:20,222 --> 00:01:22,175
That guy never takes
his head out of that bag.
34
00:01:22,345 --> 00:01:24,332
The women can't figure
out which kid is which.
35
00:01:24,510 --> 00:01:26,339
And they do it
all morning long...
36
00:01:26,508 --> 00:01:28,780
and then order two iced
teas to go. And that is it.
37
00:01:28,965 --> 00:01:31,679
- I'm sure you're exaggerating.
- I am not exaggerating.
38
00:01:31,879 --> 00:01:32,912
Oh, God.
39
00:01:33,045 --> 00:01:36,111
Now, this is good. You see,
choo-choo Joe will not be working.
40
00:01:36,334 --> 00:01:37,924
Get the bongo bear.
41
00:01:38,082 --> 00:01:39,275
How did you know that?
42
00:01:39,415 --> 00:01:41,687
Joe has not been working
for the last six months.
43
00:01:41,871 --> 00:01:43,541
Personally, I don't
think he's broken.
44
00:01:43,703 --> 00:01:46,168
I think he killed himself to
get away from that family.
45
00:01:46,368 --> 00:01:48,832
- That kid's a major drooler.
- It's like a fountain.
46
00:01:49,032 --> 00:01:50,667
That's it. They have to go.
47
00:01:50,823 --> 00:01:53,173
It's just spit. Pretend
you're at a baseball game.
48
00:01:53,362 --> 00:01:57,428
No, I've had enough. Let them go and
not spend money at AI's. I'm through.
49
00:02:00,023 --> 00:02:02,692
Is that woman doing
what I think she's doing?
50
00:02:03,229 --> 00:02:05,898
I can't be 100% sure,
but, yeah, that's lunch.
51
00:02:06,102 --> 00:02:09,169
Why do they do this? This is a
public place. People are eating here.
52
00:02:09,391 --> 00:02:11,068
- They sure are.
- This cannot be sanitary.
53
00:02:11,223 --> 00:02:14,176
- Don't know where that thing's been.
- Since when is it acceptable?
54
00:02:14,387 --> 00:02:16,852
In the old days, a woman
would never do that in public.
55
00:02:17,051 --> 00:02:19,765
They'd go find a barn or a
cave or something. It's indecent.
56
00:02:19,966 --> 00:02:23,033
- This is a diner, not a peep show.
- Consider making it a combo.
57
00:02:23,255 --> 00:02:25,243
You could charge more
for your cheeseburgers.
58
00:02:25,419 --> 00:02:28,213
No one would ever feel the
same ordering a glass of milk again.
59
00:02:28,417 --> 00:02:29,734
I have to do something.
60
00:02:29,874 --> 00:02:32,827
I just can't stand here and
let the lactating continue.
61
00:02:33,039 --> 00:02:34,356
- Gross!
- I'm gross?
62
00:02:34,496 --> 00:02:37,528
I'm not the one exposing
myself for the entire world to see.
63
00:02:37,743 --> 00:02:38,970
That's it.
64
00:02:40,990 --> 00:02:43,216
- You go make her stop.
- I'm not going over there.
65
00:02:43,405 --> 00:02:44,881
- Why not? You're a woman.
- So what?
66
00:02:45,029 --> 00:02:46,664
- You have the same parts.
- What?
67
00:02:46,819 --> 00:02:49,045
- You shouldn't be scared of it.
- Scared of it?
68
00:02:49,234 --> 00:02:51,744
You're gonna be a bachelor
for a really long time.
69
00:02:51,941 --> 00:02:55,484
I'm being taken advantage of here,
and I don't like being taken advantage of.
70
00:02:55,729 --> 00:02:57,046
I hate this.
71
00:03:01,183 --> 00:03:03,692
Okay, that was kind of fun.
72
00:04:02,633 --> 00:04:04,065
Is it your nap time?
73
00:04:04,215 --> 00:04:07,918
The Tylers in 12 asked to
have their toxic pillows removed.
74
00:04:08,171 --> 00:04:09,603
Our pillows aren't toxic.
75
00:04:09,753 --> 00:04:12,581
According to the travel magazine
that we put in their room...
76
00:04:12,792 --> 00:04:15,143
down pillows can carry
airborne diseases and mold.
77
00:04:15,331 --> 00:04:17,921
Unbelievable. I didn't think
anybody read those magazines.
78
00:04:18,121 --> 00:04:21,471
I think she had to. There was a
picture of a roast chicken on the cover.
79
00:04:21,702 --> 00:04:24,257
- She is large. And her husband is ugly.
- Michel.
80
00:04:24,450 --> 00:04:26,517
- Hey!
- They threw pillows at me!
81
00:04:26,698 --> 00:04:27,696
[Phone ringing]
82
00:04:28,530 --> 00:04:29,643
Independence Inn.
83
00:04:29,778 --> 00:04:32,163
You should identify yourself
when you answer the phone.
84
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,869
Sorry. Independence Inn. Major
Disappointment speaking. Better?
85
00:04:36,107 --> 00:04:38,696
Yes, thank you. I want to
talk to you about something.
86
00:04:38,896 --> 00:04:40,566
- Shoot.
- I'm in charge of...
87
00:04:40,729 --> 00:04:43,715
the Society Matrons League's
annual antique auction next Tuesday...
88
00:04:43,934 --> 00:04:45,285
and I thought
you'd like to come.
89
00:04:45,433 --> 00:04:47,864
Society Matrons League.
That's quite a name.
90
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:51,281
- What is wrong with that name?
- Nothing. It just sounds so serious.
91
00:04:51,511 --> 00:04:54,941
Brings to mind a roomful of old ladies
wearing black dresses and cameos...
92
00:04:55,175 --> 00:04:57,447
pushing spoonfuls of
cod-liver oil on the kids.
93
00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,187
That's a flattering portrait
of my friends you're painting.
94
00:05:00,379 --> 00:05:03,253
Not your friends, I meant the
other old ladies in the league.
95
00:05:03,460 --> 00:05:05,969
The ones who don't like you
'cause you guys are so young.
96
00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:07,676
Kindly wrap this
up soon, Lorelai.
97
00:05:07,832 --> 00:05:09,263
- Consider it wrapped.
- Thank you.
98
00:05:09,414 --> 00:05:12,560
All the proceeds from the auction
go to the children's hospital...
99
00:05:12,786 --> 00:05:15,137
and we're going to be
offering some lovely pieces...
100
00:05:15,325 --> 00:05:17,517
which I think would
look very nice in your inn.
101
00:05:17,699 --> 00:05:19,051
What sort of pieces?
102
00:05:19,197 --> 00:05:22,344
Basically a lot of canes and
shawls, a couple of walkers.
103
00:05:22,569 --> 00:05:25,999
I believe we finally talked old
Lady Rollins into giving up her teeth.
104
00:05:26,234 --> 00:05:27,505
What sort of pieces, Mom?
105
00:05:27,649 --> 00:05:29,921
We have a couple of
wonderful writing desks...
106
00:05:30,106 --> 00:05:34,410
some French end tables, rocking
chairs, picture frames, lamps, davenports.
107
00:05:34,685 --> 00:05:37,513
The worst that can happen is
you won't find anything you like...
108
00:05:37,724 --> 00:05:39,115
and you've wasted
a couple of hours.
109
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,013
Who knows, you might
find something you love.
110
00:05:41,180 --> 00:05:44,132
Plus, I will be too busy to sit
with you, if that is of concern.
111
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,854
That is not a concern.
Define "way too busy."
112
00:05:47,050 --> 00:05:49,560
- Are you interested or not?
- When is this auction?
113
00:05:49,756 --> 00:05:51,824
- Tuesday at 1:00.
- I'll think about it.
114
00:05:52,004 --> 00:05:53,912
- I'll see you Tuesday.
- Bye.
115
00:05:55,127 --> 00:05:58,034
I'm sorry. Did I hear you mention
something about an auction?
116
00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:00,715
My mother's women's group
is having one next week.
117
00:06:00,914 --> 00:06:03,822
You know, I love a good
auction: the drama, the strategy.
118
00:06:04,037 --> 00:06:05,433
- The strategy?
- Oh, yes.
119
00:06:05,577 --> 00:06:09,007
First, you mustn't be too eager,
because that drives the price way up.
120
00:06:09,241 --> 00:06:10,673
Don't be too eager. Got it.
121
00:06:10,822 --> 00:06:14,411
You must always be extremely
careful of your paddle movement.
122
00:06:14,654 --> 00:06:16,879
That certainly
calls for a "dirty."
123
00:06:17,068 --> 00:06:19,340
- How's your arm raise? Good?
- Pretty good.
124
00:06:19,525 --> 00:06:23,307
- I have an excellent arm raise.
- That's what it says on the bathroom wall.
125
00:06:23,562 --> 00:06:26,118
Yes. If you need some tips...
126
00:06:26,311 --> 00:06:28,344
- I'll give you a call.
- Good.
127
00:06:29,059 --> 00:06:32,727
Take me to the auction!
I insist you take me.
128
00:06:32,972 --> 00:06:35,799
You don't even know if it'll be
good. It's just society women.
129
00:06:36,011 --> 00:06:38,123
If your mother's involved,
it will be impeccable.
130
00:06:38,301 --> 00:06:40,686
I haven't been to an
impeccable auction in over a year.
131
00:06:40,882 --> 00:06:42,472
- I don't know.
- What do you want?
132
00:06:42,631 --> 00:06:45,300
- I don't want anything.
- Stop playing coy with me.
133
00:06:45,504 --> 00:06:47,810
I want into that auction.
You name your price.
134
00:06:48,001 --> 00:06:49,989
You've to work weekends
the rest of this month.
135
00:06:50,167 --> 00:06:51,995
- Done.
- And answer the phone when it rings.
136
00:06:52,165 --> 00:06:53,198
Done.
137
00:06:53,331 --> 00:06:56,761
You have to answer it in English
unless the person is actually foreign.
138
00:06:56,994 --> 00:06:59,459
And you have to oversee
the nature hikers next week.
139
00:06:59,658 --> 00:06:59,924
No.
140
00:06:59,936 --> 00:07:02,486
Michel, if you want
to go to this auction...
141
00:07:02,698 --> 00:07:05,412
you have to be in the
lobby at 6:00 Friday morning.
142
00:07:05,613 --> 00:07:07,919
You have to hand out
towels and water bottles.
143
00:07:08,110 --> 00:07:11,699
You've to show them the hiking trails
and let them give you a nature name.
144
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:14,405
Fine. I will let them
give me a nature name.
145
00:07:14,606 --> 00:07:16,956
- All right, then you can come.
- Thank you.
146
00:07:17,436 --> 00:07:20,310
- Buttercup.
- You cannot give them suggestions!
147
00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:24,882
I can't believe you got
into a fight with Pete.
148
00:07:25,097 --> 00:07:27,970
You do not suddenly decide
that garlic is an extra topping.
149
00:07:28,178 --> 00:07:30,643
Not after five years, not
after all we've been through.
150
00:07:30,842 --> 00:07:33,716
We single-handedly helped Pete
pay for his new delivery truck...
151
00:07:33,923 --> 00:07:36,353
- and he needed a reminder of that fact.
- Very loudly.
152
00:07:36,546 --> 00:07:38,216
- Not that loudly.
- Dogs started barking.
153
00:07:38,378 --> 00:07:41,808
Because they heard of the garlic
incident. No one likes getting screwed.
154
00:07:42,042 --> 00:07:44,552
Pete's a swindler. He takes
advantage of single mothers...
155
00:07:44,748 --> 00:07:47,144
and their innocent children,
and for that, he must pay. What?
156
00:07:47,330 --> 00:07:49,794
- He gave us free cheesy bread.
- He did?
157
00:07:51,992 --> 00:07:53,946
- I love the cheesy bread.
- I know you do.
158
00:07:54,115 --> 00:07:57,262
- It's all hot, too.
- Now, doesn't someone feel a little silly?
159
00:07:57,487 --> 00:07:59,441
- Me?
- Should we call Pete tonight?
160
00:07:59,611 --> 00:08:01,995
- Okay. After cheesy bread.
- Fine. After the cheesy bread.
161
00:08:02,192 --> 00:08:03,623
I'll go get the
mail. Go on inside.
162
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:05,886
I'm gonna go melt some
more cheese on the pizza.
163
00:08:06,064 --> 00:08:07,336
Melt away.
164
00:08:08,146 --> 00:08:09,144
Hey!
165
00:08:09,270 --> 00:08:12,495
- Hello there, neighbor!
- Hi. I'm sorry, are we neighbors?
166
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,600
Yes, we are. I just
moved in across the way.
167
00:08:16,181 --> 00:08:18,168
Yeah. Beenie
Morrison's old place.
168
00:08:18,346 --> 00:08:21,174
That's right. Beenie
Morrison's old place.
169
00:08:21,385 --> 00:08:23,941
I live in Beenie Morrison's
old place. Isn't that great!
170
00:08:24,133 --> 00:08:26,689
Only if Beenie Morrison didn't
want to live there anymore.
171
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,436
No. I paid him a very good
price. Overpaid, actually.
172
00:08:29,628 --> 00:08:32,138
But it was worth it. I've been
dreaming about a place...
173
00:08:32,335 --> 00:08:35,004
like Beenie Morrison's
old place for a long time.
174
00:08:35,207 --> 00:08:36,684
And then I found it.
175
00:08:36,832 --> 00:08:39,262
- Sorry. I'm just really excited.
- That's okay. It's nice.
176
00:08:39,454 --> 00:08:41,327
- It's a great neighborhood.
- Yes, it is.
177
00:08:41,494 --> 00:08:43,800
Everyone's so friendly.
Babette. Do you know Babette?
178
00:08:43,993 --> 00:08:46,866
- Everybody knows Babette.
- She's a great lady.
179
00:08:47,489 --> 00:08:49,284
- Anyhow, I'm Dwight.
- I'm Lorelai.
180
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:52,680
If you see a teen walking around with a
halo and a book, that's my daughter, Rory.
181
00:08:52,902 --> 00:08:54,253
Very nice to meet you, Lorelai.
182
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:57,115
Nice to meet you, too, Dwight.
Welcome to the neighborhood.
183
00:08:57,315 --> 00:09:00,222
If there's anything I can
do to help out, let me know.
184
00:09:00,437 --> 00:09:01,833
- Really?
- Sure.
185
00:09:02,519 --> 00:09:06,108
That's great. Actually, I have
this little favor I'd love to ask.
186
00:09:07,390 --> 00:09:09,344
- Right now?
- This week.
187
00:09:09,514 --> 00:09:12,262
I just got this
beautiful lawn put in...
188
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:15,774
really amazing shade of green.
And the guy who put it in for me...
189
00:09:16,008 --> 00:09:18,643
he told me that I have to
keep each blade of grass...
190
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:22,031
very moist for the first few
days while the roots take...
191
00:09:22,254 --> 00:09:25,639
but I have to go on a business
trip for a few days. Last minute.
192
00:09:25,875 --> 00:09:28,669
And believe me, I tried to
get out of it, but my boss said:
193
00:09:28,873 --> 00:09:32,780
"Dwight, get off your keister and go
make us some money," so I gotta go.
194
00:09:33,036 --> 00:09:36,183
When the word "keister" is being
thrown around, what are you gonna do?
195
00:09:36,408 --> 00:09:40,111
Exactly. So I was wondering if,
maybe, you could water my lawn.
196
00:09:41,239 --> 00:09:43,828
Only for a few days, you
know, a little in the morning...
197
00:09:44,028 --> 00:09:47,253
a little in the late afternoon or
evening, depending on your schedule.
198
00:09:47,483 --> 00:09:49,391
It would be a really big favor.
199
00:09:49,565 --> 00:09:50,563
Well...
200
00:09:50,730 --> 00:09:53,797
I guess I could
water your lawn. Sure.
201
00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:55,973
Boy. That is something.
202
00:09:56,143 --> 00:09:58,971
If I would have asked somebody
back where I used to live...
203
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:02,726
to water my lawn, I would have gotten
a much more "HBO" kind of answer.
204
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,197
I love it here!
205
00:10:04,553 --> 00:10:06,347
- So can you come on over now?
- Excuse me?
206
00:10:06,510 --> 00:10:09,940
So I can show you where the on-off
nozzle is. It'll only take a second.
207
00:10:10,173 --> 00:10:14,160
- My daughter's waiting inside for me.
- We can do it tomorrow before I leave.
208
00:10:14,420 --> 00:10:16,532
- Great. What time are you leaving?
- 6:00 a.m.
209
00:10:16,710 --> 00:10:18,856
- Now sounds fine.
- That's so terrific.
210
00:10:19,291 --> 00:10:20,881
- Follow me.
- Okay.
211
00:10:23,413 --> 00:10:26,638
- You gotta go over here and make a right.
- I know where it is.
212
00:10:27,910 --> 00:10:29,545
Welcome to The Oasis!
213
00:10:29,699 --> 00:10:32,084
That's what I named this
place. The Oasis, my oasis.
214
00:10:32,281 --> 00:10:34,870
A little slice of heaven
right here on earth.
215
00:10:35,071 --> 00:10:38,023
Gosh, I swear I still
can't believe I'm here.
216
00:10:38,901 --> 00:10:41,887
- I was in a terrible marriage, you know.
- Actually, I didn't.
217
00:10:42,106 --> 00:10:44,412
Horrible. Like a punishment
out of Greek mythology.
218
00:10:44,604 --> 00:10:46,910
The woman had five
heads, suffering, agony.
219
00:10:47,102 --> 00:10:49,169
- You know I used to be taller?
- She shrunk you?
220
00:10:49,351 --> 00:10:51,906
I used to have more hair,
too. And higher arches.
221
00:10:52,098 --> 00:10:55,210
But through all the screaming
and the name-calling...
222
00:10:55,429 --> 00:10:59,017
the berating and the humiliation,
somewhere in the back of my mind...
223
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:01,928
I knew someday I
would have it: my oasis.
224
00:11:02,798 --> 00:11:05,750
That's what got me through. It
kept me from sticking my head...
225
00:11:05,962 --> 00:11:08,551
through a plate-glass window
every night when I got home.
226
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:13,022
That's a really nice story,
Dwight. It's very inspiring and...
227
00:11:13,332 --> 00:11:14,445
Oh. Hey.
228
00:11:14,788 --> 00:11:17,173
This looks like it
does something.
229
00:11:17,369 --> 00:11:19,879
Yeah. This is the on-off spigot.
230
00:11:20,076 --> 00:11:22,790
You just turn it to
the right for on...
231
00:11:24,531 --> 00:11:26,438
and the left for off.
232
00:11:27,361 --> 00:11:29,792
- Seems simple.
- It's very simple.
233
00:11:29,985 --> 00:11:32,540
- Okay, so twice a day.
- Yeah, for a good 15-minute soaking.
234
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:34,640
- I will soak my best.
- I appreciate it.
235
00:11:34,814 --> 00:11:37,403
- Okay, you have a good trip.
- I owe you.
236
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:43,770
- Where have you been?
- Get in the house!
237
00:11:43,932 --> 00:11:46,396
I thought you were getting
the mail. What are you doing?
238
00:11:46,597 --> 00:11:50,345
Don't look around. Stare straight
ahead. No more talking to people ever.
239
00:11:53,216 --> 00:11:55,249
Next up, we have
an occasional table...
240
00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:59,205
from a distinguished family-owned
company in Vermont, circa 1912.
241
00:11:59,461 --> 00:12:01,891
We shall start the
bidding at $250.
242
00:12:02,375 --> 00:12:04,965
Do I hear $250? $250, thank you.
243
00:12:05,164 --> 00:12:07,072
- Lots of garbage at these things.
- Always.
244
00:12:07,247 --> 00:12:10,676
You've got to be patient and wait for
what you want to appear, then pounce.
245
00:12:10,910 --> 00:12:13,465
True at an auction,
true at a singles bar.
246
00:12:13,658 --> 00:12:15,646
- To put it crudely, yes.
- Crap.
247
00:12:15,823 --> 00:12:18,458
Crap that makes the previous
two items not seem like crap.
248
00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:20,960
Could you keep your crap
commentaries to yourself?
249
00:12:21,152 --> 00:12:23,344
$400. We have $400.
250
00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:27,557
$400 going once, going
twice, sold to bidder number 65.
251
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:30,642
- That was a great table.
- It was a good table, not great.
252
00:12:30,853 --> 00:12:32,205
We should've gone for it.
253
00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:35,701
- Too expensive and too many scratches.
- We could've buffed the scratches.
254
00:12:35,932 --> 00:12:38,646
If you want it bad, it's obvious
that the buyer's children...
255
00:12:38,847 --> 00:12:41,153
will be selling it at his
probate in the near future.
256
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,980
- You're awful.
- And he's old. Now be quiet.
257
00:12:44,384 --> 00:12:47,019
- Lorelai.
- Mom. You remember Michel.
258
00:12:47,215 --> 00:12:49,850
- Yes, from the inn.
- Hello, Mrs. Gilmore.
259
00:12:50,295 --> 00:12:53,009
Didn't you see me waving at
you before? You didn't wave back.
260
00:12:53,210 --> 00:12:54,880
It's dangerous to
wave at an auction.
261
00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:58,188
When you waved, you bought
a motorcycle and a sidecar.
262
00:12:58,414 --> 00:12:59,640
- I did not.
- Circa 1912.
263
00:12:59,788 --> 00:13:02,377
Now, would you drive it or
would you sit in the sidecar?
264
00:13:02,577 --> 00:13:04,564
There she is. The cobra.
265
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,571
- Now, Natalie.
- The what?
266
00:13:06,741 --> 00:13:09,410
This woman gets her way or
she squeezes till you comply.
267
00:13:09,613 --> 00:13:10,526
Like a superhero.
268
00:13:10,538 --> 00:13:12,680
Ignore her. Natalie
is just being Natalie.
269
00:13:12,902 --> 00:13:14,856
- My daughter, Lorelai.
- Nice to meet you.
270
00:13:15,026 --> 00:13:17,218
Your mother's got such
spunk. You must love her.
271
00:13:17,399 --> 00:13:19,750
I think she'd squeeze
me to death if I didn't.
272
00:13:19,939 --> 00:13:23,244
- You're embarrassing me.
- Hush, Emily. Listen to this.
273
00:13:23,477 --> 00:13:26,941
Our auctioneer calls in sick this
morning. They are such flakes.
274
00:13:27,183 --> 00:13:29,409
And what is an auction
without an auctioneer?
275
00:13:29,597 --> 00:13:32,710
Just a bunch of nuts with paddles
surrounded by mismatched furniture.
276
00:13:32,928 --> 00:13:34,041
Exactly.
277
00:13:34,177 --> 00:13:36,971
But your mother got on the
horn with that lazy Charlie...
278
00:13:37,175 --> 00:13:41,445
and she squeezed and squeezed
till voilà, he suddenly felt better.
279
00:13:41,713 --> 00:13:43,144
- The cobra.
- The cobra.
280
00:13:43,295 --> 00:13:46,645
- Now, stop it.
- You're humble. Don't be.
281
00:13:47,042 --> 00:13:48,712
- Nice to meet you.
- Same here.
282
00:13:48,874 --> 00:13:51,020
Edna's group wants to
give you kudos, too, Emily.
283
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:53,113
- Make sure to swing by.
- I will.
284
00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:56,414
I should make the rounds.
Say goodbye before you leave.
285
00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:58,288
- I will, cobra.
- Stop it!
286
00:13:58,449 --> 00:13:59,960
Goes with the
motorcycle thing, too.
287
00:14:00,114 --> 00:14:03,703
AUCTIONEER: Do I have
$250, thank you. Do I have $300?
288
00:14:04,487 --> 00:14:06,792
- Is this our end table?
- Moving on to $350.
289
00:14:06,984 --> 00:14:08,779
$350. Do we have $400?
290
00:14:08,941 --> 00:14:10,689
- Let me do the paddle.
- No.
291
00:14:10,856 --> 00:14:12,526
I just wanna hold
it. It's still yours.
292
00:14:12,688 --> 00:14:14,323
I'm losing my concentration.
293
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,988
- Fine. I'm gonna go get a drink.
- Please.
294
00:14:17,185 --> 00:14:18,661
Do we have $500?
295
00:14:21,889 --> 00:14:25,353
- Can I get a merlot, please?
- That sounds great. Make it two.
296
00:14:25,595 --> 00:14:28,059
Got just enough for one,
and this is the last of the red.
297
00:14:28,259 --> 00:14:29,610
Sorry.
298
00:14:29,966 --> 00:14:31,397
[Lorelai groaning]
299
00:14:32,131 --> 00:14:34,437
- I'll give you $2 for it.
- They're free.
300
00:14:34,629 --> 00:14:37,298
Which makes $2 a great offer,
and this is an auction, right?
301
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:38,648
- Yes.
- $3.
302
00:14:38,792 --> 00:14:40,109
- What?
- I'll give you $3 for it.
303
00:14:40,249 --> 00:14:41,396
- $4.
- $5.
304
00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:42,573
- $6.
- $6.50.
305
00:14:42,706 --> 00:14:43,774
Losing steam.
306
00:14:43,914 --> 00:14:47,105
- Weighing cost versus benefit.
- You gotta think about these things.
307
00:14:47,327 --> 00:14:50,599
- How about this. Can I get an empty glass?
- Yes, sir.
308
00:14:51,699 --> 00:14:52,812
[Lorelai sighing]
309
00:14:53,156 --> 00:14:56,779
- You're the Solomon of wine.
- Everybody's got to be something.
310
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:03,361
I got a few things coming
up that I'm bidding on.
311
00:15:03,731 --> 00:15:06,320
Great. Bartender and I are
the only ones in the building...
312
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:07,996
who don't get to hold a paddle.
313
00:15:08,144 --> 00:15:10,051
Why don't you put a bid
on one of the paddles?
314
00:15:10,225 --> 00:15:13,338
- What would I use to bid on it?
- I'm Solomon, not Einstein.
315
00:15:13,556 --> 00:15:14,908
Bye, Solomon.
316
00:15:16,803 --> 00:15:19,188
I had a spare
bottle all the time.
317
00:15:20,092 --> 00:15:21,921
Thanks. This was better.
318
00:15:26,421 --> 00:15:30,805
Hi, yes, I was at your auction yesterday.
I was wondering if you could help me.
319
00:15:31,542 --> 00:15:34,131
I met a man there, and I
would like to contact him...
320
00:15:34,331 --> 00:15:36,920
but I didn't get his name.
Could you look it up for me?
321
00:15:37,121 --> 00:15:39,233
He was paddle number 17.
322
00:15:40,451 --> 00:15:43,483
Right. Confidential. Got it.
323
00:15:43,699 --> 00:15:45,494
You know, actually,
I misspoke earlier...
324
00:15:45,655 --> 00:15:48,369
because this isn't a complete
stranger I'm trying to contact.
325
00:15:48,570 --> 00:15:50,399
He's an old friend from school.
326
00:15:50,569 --> 00:15:54,520
Good question. I don't know his name
because I only knew him by his nickname.
327
00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:57,922
Shamu. We called him Shamu.
328
00:15:58,104 --> 00:16:00,693
He was kind of a big
guy in high school...
329
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:03,085
but he's slimmed
down quite a bit.
330
00:16:03,267 --> 00:16:07,049
No, see, I don't have time to contact
the high school alumni committee...
331
00:16:07,304 --> 00:16:09,212
because time is of the essence.
332
00:16:09,387 --> 00:16:11,817
Shamu and I went to a
liquor store after the auction...
333
00:16:12,009 --> 00:16:15,075
and we bought a lottery
ticket together, and we tore it...
334
00:16:15,298 --> 00:16:19,410
and I took half, and he took half,
and I'll be damned if the thing didn't win!
335
00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:21,507
$14 million!
336
00:16:21,835 --> 00:16:22,868
Really.
337
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,669
But, see, we have to claim it
by 4:00 p.m. today or we forfeit.
338
00:16:27,830 --> 00:16:29,262
Yes.
339
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,744
But there's one more thing
that I forgot to tell you. See...
340
00:16:35,032 --> 00:16:37,225
my blood type is O-negative
and he's O-negative...
341
00:16:37,406 --> 00:16:39,598
and I have a medical
condition that...
342
00:16:41,611 --> 00:16:44,882
All right, then. Thank
you, anyway. Bye.
343
00:16:46,190 --> 00:16:48,178
- So.
- Yes?
344
00:16:48,689 --> 00:16:50,915
You ran into your
old friend Shamu?
345
00:16:51,104 --> 00:16:53,818
And you won millions of dollars?
And you need a transfusion?
346
00:16:54,017 --> 00:16:56,765
I'm trying to get the name of
this guy I met at the auction...
347
00:16:56,973 --> 00:16:58,166
but they won't give it to me.
348
00:16:58,306 --> 00:17:00,062
That's a lot of effort.
Must have been cute.
349
00:17:00,179 --> 00:17:01,974
And witty. You don't
meet that every day.
350
00:17:02,136 --> 00:17:03,444
- Know who'll have his name?
- Who?
351
00:17:03,468 --> 00:17:04,536
Grandma.
352
00:17:04,676 --> 00:17:06,630
She only knows the
biddies, not the young ones.
353
00:17:06,799 --> 00:17:09,105
She knows everyone at these
things. You know Grandma.
354
00:17:09,297 --> 00:17:11,603
- I cannot ask her for this.
- Then kiss Shamu goodbye.
355
00:17:11,795 --> 00:17:15,259
But maybe you could ask her.
Come on, ask her. Do me a favor.
356
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:18,215
You want me to ask Grandma
about someone I didn't meet...
357
00:17:18,414 --> 00:17:19,811
at a function I didn't attend?
358
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:23,022
- I'll share my lottery winnings with you.
- Ridiculously transparent.
359
00:17:23,244 --> 00:17:25,356
- $14 million.
- You're sharing half with him.
360
00:17:25,534 --> 00:17:28,203
Taxes will take a huge chunk.
And you didn't win the lottery.
361
00:17:28,406 --> 00:17:30,360
- Ask her yourself.
- You're mean!
362
00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:33,119
Did you call information and
ask for paddle 17's listing?
363
00:17:34,194 --> 00:17:36,579
What do you think
of the pork? Rory?
364
00:17:36,858 --> 00:17:39,368
- It's good.
- I'm not sure. Richard?
365
00:17:39,564 --> 00:17:41,472
- It's fine.
- I'm not sure.
366
00:17:41,647 --> 00:17:44,111
- It's really good, Mom.
- Yes. Well, I'm not sure.
367
00:17:44,311 --> 00:17:47,616
Pork is bred leaner these
days. It has a different taste.
368
00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:49,883
Less fat equals less flavor.
369
00:17:50,555 --> 00:17:53,020
Yet another example of the
great advances man has made:
370
00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:56,366
flavorless pork. Hurrah
for the opposable thumbs.
371
00:17:56,593 --> 00:17:59,262
Enough talk about pork. Please,
someone change the subject.
372
00:17:59,465 --> 00:18:01,930
Mom had a really good time
at the auction the other day.
373
00:18:02,130 --> 00:18:04,163
- Did you?
- Yes, I did.
374
00:18:04,337 --> 00:18:06,244
I'm glad. Did you see
anything you liked?
375
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:08,530
Yeah, Mom. Anything
look good to you there?
376
00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:11,616
Yes, actually, I bought a
couple of end tables for the inn.
377
00:18:11,830 --> 00:18:14,136
I was very impressed
with the selection this year.
378
00:18:14,329 --> 00:18:16,918
I even wound up purchasing
a couple of pieces for myself.
379
00:18:17,118 --> 00:18:20,104
Yes. How nice to have yet
another chair you can't sit in.
380
00:18:20,324 --> 00:18:22,119
- It's 100 years old.
- Wonderful.
381
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:25,710
We'll put it next to the 200-year-old
footstool you can't put your foot on.
382
00:18:25,944 --> 00:18:27,772
- Richard, please.
- I'm only teasing.
383
00:18:27,942 --> 00:18:30,850
It's a great pleasure of my
life to be able to surround you...
384
00:18:31,065 --> 00:18:32,893
with a house full
of useless objects.
385
00:18:33,063 --> 00:18:37,447
I'm happiest when we're standing
in the corner staring at our furniture.
386
00:18:37,727 --> 00:18:38,998
Eat your pork, please.
387
00:18:39,142 --> 00:18:41,651
There was something at the
auction that Mom wanted...
388
00:18:41,848 --> 00:18:44,961
- but she didn't get. Isn't that right?
- Really? What was that?
389
00:18:45,179 --> 00:18:48,881
It was a steamer trunk for Rory to take
with her to military school, wasn't it?
390
00:18:49,134 --> 00:18:52,008
I don't remember a steamer
trunk. But I'll check if you like.
391
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,009
That's not necessary, Mom.
392
00:18:56,919 --> 00:19:00,429
Mom, it was a very nice bunch
of people you had at that auction.
393
00:19:00,708 --> 00:19:02,026
Yes, very nice.
394
00:19:02,373 --> 00:19:05,281
I was surprised at how many
young people were there.
395
00:19:05,496 --> 00:19:07,960
I mean, you know,
younger people.
396
00:19:08,827 --> 00:19:12,370
In fact, like, for instance, this
guy that I talked to for quite a while.
397
00:19:12,615 --> 00:19:15,170
- He was younger.
- What man was that?
398
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,869
I didn't get his name, but
he was a nice-looking guy.
399
00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:20,817
He had a gray suit, and
he was paddle number 17.
400
00:19:21,025 --> 00:19:22,138
He likes merlot.
401
00:19:22,274 --> 00:19:25,421
- Are you talking about Peyton Sanders?
- I don't know. Maybe.
402
00:19:25,855 --> 00:19:28,319
- I'll look it up.
- No, Mom. You don't have to...
403
00:19:28,519 --> 00:19:30,109
She's looking it up.
404
00:19:30,767 --> 00:19:32,834
Paddle number
17. Peyton Sanders.
405
00:19:33,015 --> 00:19:34,968
LORELAI: Great. Peyton Sanders.
406
00:19:35,139 --> 00:19:38,603
That's great that it's Peyton
Sanders, because that's great.
407
00:19:40,427 --> 00:19:42,300
How well do you know
this Peyton Sanders?
408
00:19:42,466 --> 00:19:45,499
Why do you want to know how
well I know Peyton Sanders?
409
00:19:45,714 --> 00:19:47,702
I don't want to know. I
was just mentioning...
410
00:19:47,878 --> 00:19:49,593
that he was, you know, seemed...
411
00:19:49,752 --> 00:19:51,467
- Young.
- Yes, young.
412
00:19:52,375 --> 00:19:54,964
Okay, Mom, Peyton
and I kind of hit it off...
413
00:19:55,164 --> 00:19:59,116
and I wondered if you
possibly had his number.
414
00:19:59,370 --> 00:20:01,720
Okay, there, I said it.
Pass the flavorless pork.
415
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:05,100
- You're asking me for his number.
- If it's not a big deal, yes.
416
00:20:05,323 --> 00:20:06,674
Well.
417
00:20:06,822 --> 00:20:09,616
Richard, Lorelai's asking
me for a man's number.
418
00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:12,284
- So I heard.
- But if it's a big deal, forget it.
419
00:20:12,484 --> 00:20:14,710
It's not a big deal at all.
I don't have his number.
420
00:20:14,899 --> 00:20:15,836
Okay. Never mind.
421
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:18,045
I can get his number.
Would you like that?
422
00:20:18,271 --> 00:20:19,417
It's up to you.
423
00:20:19,561 --> 00:20:22,866
It's not up to me. I didn't ask for his
number, you asked for his number.
424
00:20:23,101 --> 00:20:25,407
It's up to you as to whether
or not I get his number.
425
00:20:25,598 --> 00:20:27,531
- Okay, Mom.
- Would you like me to get his number?
426
00:20:27,555 --> 00:20:29,781
- Yes, if you don't mind.
- I don't mind at all.
427
00:20:29,970 --> 00:20:31,878
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
428
00:20:32,759 --> 00:20:35,553
I wasn't kidding about
that military school.
429
00:20:36,714 --> 00:20:39,781
The clock is right! Hurry, we
have time to hit Luke's for breakfast.
430
00:20:40,003 --> 00:20:41,798
- What'd I forget?
- Pants.
431
00:20:41,961 --> 00:20:43,834
- Don't do that. Come on, let's go.
- I can't.
432
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,828
- You must have breakfast.
- The clock is wrong, I'll miss my bus.
433
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,630
- I'll drive you to school.
- You will?
434
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,424
Shoot! Dwight's lawn.
435
00:20:50,578 --> 00:20:54,202
- There goes the breakfast sandwich.
- No. Let's hurry. We can still do Luke's.
436
00:20:54,450 --> 00:20:56,245
- Let's go!
- My shoes.
437
00:20:56,407 --> 00:20:59,076
You don't need shoes. We used
to walk 20 miles in the snow...
438
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,347
- just to get to our shoes.
- Come on.
439
00:21:02,611 --> 00:21:05,597
Okay, come on. Sprinkle.
440
00:21:09,396 --> 00:21:11,668
There. Drink up, boys.
We got a breakfast to get to.
441
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:13,602
Mom, I think this is for you.
442
00:21:13,769 --> 00:21:15,802
Lorelai? No, it must
be someone else.
443
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:19,246
Don't read that. No good can
come from you reading that.
444
00:21:19,472 --> 00:21:20,990
- "Dear Lorelai"...
- She's reading it.
445
00:21:21,095 --> 00:21:23,526
"A couple of things that
came to mind after we talked."
446
00:21:23,719 --> 00:21:26,183
"Thank you for this very
kind favor you're doing me."
447
00:21:26,383 --> 00:21:29,768
"I still can't believe that anyone'd
be so kind to someone they just met."
448
00:21:30,005 --> 00:21:33,118
Apparently Dwight's last home
was Oz and not as in The Wizard of.
449
00:21:33,336 --> 00:21:36,084
"Second, since you're already
coming to take care of my lawn...
450
00:21:36,292 --> 00:21:38,598
"I was hoping you wouldn't
mind stopping inside...
451
00:21:38,790 --> 00:21:40,743
"and watering
my African violets.
452
00:21:40,914 --> 00:21:43,549
"I have written the directions
on a separate piece of paper.
453
00:21:43,745 --> 00:21:45,778
"There's a key in the
planter by the door."
454
00:21:45,951 --> 00:21:47,541
"Please go in. Make
yourself at home."
455
00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:51,288
"I have food in the fridge, satellite TV
and a great collection of board games."
456
00:21:51,530 --> 00:21:52,926
"My oasis is your oasis."
457
00:21:53,070 --> 00:21:54,977
I'm not going in that house.
458
00:21:55,152 --> 00:21:56,584
Rory, do not pick up that key.
459
00:21:56,734 --> 00:21:59,448
- But we have to water the violets.
- I didn't agree to violets.
460
00:21:59,648 --> 00:22:02,476
He threw it in after he had
rooked me into watering his lawn.
461
00:22:02,688 --> 00:22:04,516
Don't you wanna see
what his house looks like?
462
00:22:04,686 --> 00:22:06,117
Absolutely not.
463
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:10,522
Key, please. Let me just
say if we walk in there...
464
00:22:10,765 --> 00:22:14,513
and his dead mother is sitting in
a rocking chair, not a bit surprised.
465
00:22:17,342 --> 00:22:20,056
- Oh, yeah, Dwight.
- This place is great.
466
00:22:20,257 --> 00:22:22,563
Someone took the whole
lounge craze very seriously.
467
00:22:22,755 --> 00:22:25,220
- Oh, my!
- He wasn't kidding.
468
00:22:25,420 --> 00:22:27,929
I've never seen this
many board games.
469
00:22:28,126 --> 00:22:30,398
He's got Monopoly from
every country in the world.
470
00:22:30,582 --> 00:22:32,933
When you finally meet him,
remember he owns Twister.
471
00:22:33,122 --> 00:22:35,552
- There's a great visual awaiting you.
- Got it.
472
00:22:35,745 --> 00:22:37,460
How come we
don't have a tiki bar?
473
00:22:37,618 --> 00:22:41,127
- We are not two wild and crazy guys.
- You like Piña Coladas.
474
00:22:41,407 --> 00:22:43,474
- And getting lost in the rain.
- I love it here.
475
00:22:43,655 --> 00:22:45,483
It's quite a statement.
I'll give him that.
476
00:22:45,653 --> 00:22:47,209
- African violets.
- Yeah, right.
477
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:48,587
Just a sec.
478
00:22:49,775 --> 00:22:52,649
Hello? Hi, Peyton.
Thanks for calling me back.
479
00:22:53,772 --> 00:22:55,486
I hope it was a good surprise.
480
00:22:55,645 --> 00:22:57,679
[Whispering] It
was a good surprise.
481
00:22:57,852 --> 00:23:02,634
You just flew back on your
jet? From Maui? Sounds great.
482
00:23:03,264 --> 00:23:05,411
Yes, I would love to
get together with you.
483
00:23:05,595 --> 00:23:09,059
I'm pretty flexible next week.
What did you have in mind?
484
00:23:09,426 --> 00:23:10,778
- David Bowie?
- What?
485
00:23:10,925 --> 00:23:13,197
I love David Bowie.
I would love to go.
486
00:23:14,131 --> 00:23:16,686
Yeah, it is a ways away, but...
487
00:23:17,628 --> 00:23:20,342
No, I think that sounds
just crazy enough.
488
00:23:20,875 --> 00:23:24,940
- What sounds crazy enough?
- That sounds great, Peyton. It's a plan.
489
00:23:25,621 --> 00:23:27,688
I'll see you then. Okay, bye.
490
00:23:27,869 --> 00:23:30,379
- We're having dinner.
- You were talking about David Bowie.
491
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:32,483
First he asked me to
the David Bowie concert.
492
00:23:32,658 --> 00:23:33,736
- You're so lucky.
- I know.
493
00:23:33,823 --> 00:23:36,571
Once that was set, he said that
a week was a long time to wait.
494
00:23:36,779 --> 00:23:38,656
- He did not.
- So we're having dinner tomorrow.
495
00:23:38,819 --> 00:23:40,568
And Bowie next week.
496
00:23:40,734 --> 00:23:43,721
Two dates in one phone call.
Talk about not wasting any time.
497
00:23:43,940 --> 00:23:46,166
He sounds very cool, and
not because he owns a jet.
498
00:23:46,355 --> 00:23:49,183
Tell him that the way to get to
you is through your daughter...
499
00:23:49,394 --> 00:23:51,109
who desperately wants
to go to Amsterdam.
500
00:23:51,268 --> 00:23:52,665
I will remember.
501
00:23:53,100 --> 00:23:56,450
- I think this place is lucky.
- I think you may be right.
502
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,191
[Soft song playing
on alarm clock]
503
00:24:00,593 --> 00:24:03,978
'Course, "creepy" is the
other word that comes to mind.
504
00:24:07,338 --> 00:24:09,723
- The red skirt is not working.
- Try the blue.
505
00:24:09,919 --> 00:24:12,191
Blue let me down. It's
conspiring with the red.
506
00:24:12,376 --> 00:24:14,568
I wish you'd wear the dress
we picked out this morning.
507
00:24:14,749 --> 00:24:18,134
You know that morning butt and evening
butt are completely different butts.
508
00:24:18,371 --> 00:24:21,835
Whatever butt you've got tonight had
better hurry because he'll be here soon.
509
00:24:22,077 --> 00:24:25,302
Rats. Fine, okay, striped
skirt, burgundy sweater, that's it.
510
00:24:26,031 --> 00:24:27,099
What do you think?
511
00:24:27,239 --> 00:24:30,510
I can't spend another second
deciding what to wear...
512
00:24:30,736 --> 00:24:32,689
so the answer has to
be, "you look fantastic."
513
00:24:32,859 --> 00:24:35,005
- You look fantastic.
- Pink and black.
514
00:24:35,191 --> 00:24:37,542
- With the flippy skirt.
- Grab a necklace.
515
00:24:38,771 --> 00:24:41,327
- Okay, here's my concern.
- Voice it.
516
00:24:41,936 --> 00:24:44,922
I only saw this guy once
for, like, 10 minutes...
517
00:24:45,141 --> 00:24:48,526
and the lighting was only so-so,
and I hadn't eaten anything.
518
00:24:48,763 --> 00:24:51,319
What if I'm remembering
him a lot cuter than he was?
519
00:24:51,512 --> 00:24:53,465
- I'm sure you're not.
- But what if I am?
520
00:24:53,635 --> 00:24:57,144
You know how these things are.
You get bored, you need a diversion...
521
00:24:57,381 --> 00:25:01,970
so you superimpose a really cute
guy's face over a really scary-looking guy.
522
00:25:02,419 --> 00:25:04,974
You'll just have to strike
up a conversation with him...
523
00:25:05,167 --> 00:25:07,881
and find out what kind of
man he is beneath the surface.
524
00:25:08,081 --> 00:25:10,318
On a first date? What
will he think of me?
525
00:25:10,330 --> 00:25:11,863
Just order an extra dessert.
526
00:25:12,536 --> 00:25:14,842
- Okay, fine. Well?
- I liked the brown.
527
00:25:15,034 --> 00:25:17,180
Come here. You've got
some dirt on your forehead.
528
00:25:17,365 --> 00:25:19,511
I'm sorry. It's the sign
of the devil. My mistake.
529
00:25:19,697 --> 00:25:21,570
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
530
00:25:21,862 --> 00:25:23,180
That's him.
531
00:25:25,401 --> 00:25:27,672
- The car sure is pretty.
- Come on.
532
00:25:30,438 --> 00:25:33,948
Now, for some reason he turns out
to have like a horn on his forehead...
533
00:25:34,186 --> 00:25:36,421
you'll call me in an
hour with a high fever.
534
00:25:36,433 --> 00:25:36,775
Deal.
535
00:25:36,975 --> 00:25:38,610
God, I'm nervous.
Why am I nervous?
536
00:25:38,765 --> 00:25:41,275
- Because you're crazy.
- Yes. Good. Thank you.
537
00:25:41,472 --> 00:25:42,540
Hi.
538
00:25:43,844 --> 00:25:45,241
You're feeling just fine.
539
00:25:45,385 --> 00:25:46,736
- Hey, Peyton.
- Am I early?
540
00:25:46,884 --> 00:25:49,348
No, you're on time. I want
you to meet my daughter, Rory.
541
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:50,945
- It's a pleasure, Rory.
- Hi.
542
00:25:51,088 --> 00:25:52,235
Don't wait up.
543
00:25:52,379 --> 00:25:54,571
Remember only two or
three crackheads at the most.
544
00:25:54,753 --> 00:25:56,510
- They eat the good cereal.
- Deal. Have fun.
545
00:25:56,667 --> 00:25:57,814
Nice meeting you, Rory.
546
00:25:57,958 --> 00:26:00,672
- You look wonderful.
- So do you, Peyton.
547
00:26:11,697 --> 00:26:12,730
[Knocking on door]
548
00:26:12,863 --> 00:26:14,181
Are you up?
549
00:26:16,776 --> 00:26:18,605
- What time is it?
- 10:15.
550
00:26:18,774 --> 00:26:19,967
- Oops.
- Yup.
551
00:26:20,232 --> 00:26:21,947
What happened? He was hornless.
552
00:26:22,105 --> 00:26:24,661
No, he had no horns. He
also had no personality...
553
00:26:24,853 --> 00:26:27,806
no sense of humor, and
no idea how boring he was.
554
00:26:28,018 --> 00:26:29,211
- I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
555
00:26:29,349 --> 00:26:32,223
The evening started well
until we got to the car...
556
00:26:32,431 --> 00:26:35,656
a Jaguar XJ8 convertible
with a 290-horsepower engine...
557
00:26:35,886 --> 00:26:38,838
in case you were wondering.
You weren't? Funny. Neither was I.
558
00:26:39,050 --> 00:26:40,446
However, he told me anyhow.
559
00:26:40,590 --> 00:26:42,975
He told me a lot of other
things about the car also.
560
00:26:43,171 --> 00:26:45,841
Did you know how many
inches the pistons are? I do.
561
00:26:46,044 --> 00:26:49,315
I also know the correct oil to use,
how to treat the leather interior...
562
00:26:49,542 --> 00:26:52,290
and how to load it onto a
flatbed truck in case of a flat.
563
00:26:52,498 --> 00:26:54,405
Did he talk about
anything else but the car?
564
00:26:54,580 --> 00:26:57,771
Not until we got to the
restaurant and the wine list.
565
00:26:57,994 --> 00:26:59,743
No! He's a winey?
566
00:26:59,908 --> 00:27:01,737
Yes. He sniffed,
swirled, swished...
567
00:27:01,907 --> 00:27:04,735
and did every pretentious and
borderline disgusting thing...
568
00:27:04,946 --> 00:27:07,138
you can do with a glass
of wine in a public place...
569
00:27:07,319 --> 00:27:10,227
and he did it while describing to
me the vintage discrepancies...
570
00:27:10,441 --> 00:27:12,667
and the wood they use
for the barrels in Palermo...
571
00:27:12,856 --> 00:27:15,604
and the grape-crop
projections for the following year.
572
00:27:15,813 --> 00:27:19,800
And I, in turn, chimed in with my story
about getting sick on Andre Cold Duck...
573
00:27:20,059 --> 00:27:22,251
in the back of Peter
Cutler's car in ninth grade.
574
00:27:22,432 --> 00:27:25,146
- He didn't find that quite as charming.
- I can't believe that.
575
00:27:25,347 --> 00:27:28,459
- That is one of your best anecdotes.
- I know. So I stopped talking.
576
00:27:28,678 --> 00:27:31,824
He continued talking, and I sat
there, thinking about Peter Cutler.
577
00:27:32,049 --> 00:27:34,514
How was Peter Cutler?
Where was Peter Cutler?
578
00:27:34,714 --> 00:27:36,701
Was there any chance
that he would appear...
579
00:27:36,879 --> 00:27:39,627
and kill the man sitting across
from me, talking about torque?
580
00:27:39,835 --> 00:27:42,345
- Was the food good?
- Tiny portions, weird sauces.
581
00:27:42,542 --> 00:27:43,768
- I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
582
00:27:43,915 --> 00:27:45,664
You don't know
until you try, right?
583
00:27:45,831 --> 00:27:49,102
Anyhow, I am going to go to bed
now and dream of Peter Cutler.
584
00:27:49,327 --> 00:27:51,963
- Hopefully, it will be dirty.
- What about Bowie?
585
00:27:52,325 --> 00:27:54,154
I'm not sharing Peter
Cutler with Bowie.
586
00:27:54,323 --> 00:27:55,914
- Are you still going?
- No.
587
00:27:56,072 --> 00:27:59,059
There's no way I could stand
this guy for another night.
588
00:27:59,402 --> 00:28:01,833
I'll catch Bowie the next
time he does a farewell tour.
589
00:28:02,026 --> 00:28:03,502
- Bummer.
- I know.
590
00:28:03,650 --> 00:28:05,320
- Good night, Mom.
- Good night, babe.
591
00:28:05,481 --> 00:28:07,832
And tomorrow, I'll fill you
in on how many hours...
592
00:28:08,021 --> 00:28:09,974
you have to clock to
get your pilot's license.
593
00:28:10,144 --> 00:28:11,540
I cannot wait.
594
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,872
The quilting convention
is sitting down to tea.
595
00:28:16,056 --> 00:28:17,851
I'm doing internal cartwheels.
596
00:28:18,013 --> 00:28:19,450
- Any messages?
- Your mother called.
597
00:28:19,553 --> 00:28:22,267
The auction people dropped
the lamp we bought at her place...
598
00:28:22,468 --> 00:28:23,506
and dropped hers off here.
599
00:28:23,634 --> 00:28:26,746
She's desperate to have it for
some soiree at her house this evening.
600
00:28:26,964 --> 00:28:29,428
Swell. I can take it to her
when I do my other errands.
601
00:28:29,629 --> 00:28:31,582
I can pick up Rory,
too. This is cool.
602
00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,466
- Yes, it was a personal purchase.
- I want it. What is it?
603
00:28:34,666 --> 00:28:38,493
- An 18th-century bleeding bowl.
- A bleeding bowl?
604
00:28:38,746 --> 00:28:42,574
When doctors bled patients, the
blood had to go somewhere, no?
605
00:28:42,826 --> 00:28:45,495
Okay, return lamp, pick
up Rory, boil right hand.
606
00:28:47,947 --> 00:28:49,264
[Doorbell ringing]
607
00:28:52,860 --> 00:28:55,768
- Mom, I think this is yours.
- Yes, it is.
608
00:28:56,358 --> 00:28:58,664
- And I believe this is yours.
- Yes, it is.
609
00:28:58,855 --> 00:29:01,445
That auction house is
usually so good with deliveries.
610
00:29:01,644 --> 00:29:02,837
I'm surprised at the mix-up.
611
00:29:02,977 --> 00:29:05,566
Gilmore and Gilmore. There's
kind of a connection there.
612
00:29:05,767 --> 00:29:07,084
Yes, I suppose there is.
613
00:29:07,223 --> 00:29:10,051
I have to pick up Rory in a
while, so we'll see you Friday.
614
00:29:10,263 --> 00:29:11,739
Wanna sit down,
have some coffee?
615
00:29:11,887 --> 00:29:13,794
I don't want to leave
her standing there.
616
00:29:13,968 --> 00:29:17,159
Rory doesn't get out for another
half an hour. You've got a little time.
617
00:29:17,382 --> 00:29:20,210
- I guess I can stay a minute.
- Wonderful.
618
00:29:20,421 --> 00:29:22,977
I'll get you a stopwatch
so you can keep exact time.
619
00:29:23,169 --> 00:29:24,646
That won't be necessary, Mom.
620
00:29:24,792 --> 00:29:27,143
- So, how is everything?
- Everything's fine.
621
00:29:27,333 --> 00:29:29,888
- How's everything with Rory?
- Everything with Rory's fine.
622
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,794
- How's everything at the inn?
- Everything at the inn is fine.
623
00:29:32,995 --> 00:29:35,823
- And how was your date?
- My what?
624
00:29:36,034 --> 00:29:39,907
- Your date with Peyton.
- My date was, shockingly enough, fine.
625
00:29:40,156 --> 00:29:42,143
- How did you know?
- His mother told me.
626
00:29:42,321 --> 00:29:43,991
- You know his mother?
- A little.
627
00:29:44,153 --> 00:29:46,060
- Good.
- Tell me, what did you do?
628
00:29:46,443 --> 00:29:48,157
- When?
- On your date.
629
00:29:49,814 --> 00:29:53,880
- We just went to dinner, that's all.
- I heard you went driving afterward.
630
00:29:54,145 --> 00:29:57,052
Sure, we drove in the
direction of my house.
631
00:29:57,267 --> 00:30:00,333
- You could call that driving around.
- I heard he had a lovely time.
632
00:30:00,556 --> 00:30:03,623
Did he? That's nice. I'm glad.
I should really get going, Mom.
633
00:30:03,845 --> 00:30:06,593
You have a little more time. I
want to hear about your date.
634
00:30:06,801 --> 00:30:08,630
It was just a date,
nothing special...
635
00:30:08,799 --> 00:30:11,707
two people eating and talking,
one talking more than the other.
636
00:30:11,922 --> 00:30:13,439
- Has he called you since?
- No, but...
637
00:30:13,588 --> 00:30:15,382
It was only last
night. There's time.
638
00:30:15,544 --> 00:30:19,496
- I just think this is so exciting!
- I wouldn't get too excited if I were you.
639
00:30:19,749 --> 00:30:22,701
- Why not?
- We didn't really hit it off that well.
640
00:30:22,913 --> 00:30:24,230
- What?
- No one's fault.
641
00:30:24,370 --> 00:30:26,676
- He's just not my type.
- What do you mean?
642
00:30:26,869 --> 00:30:29,981
We don't have the same interests
and didn't find a lot to talk about.
643
00:30:30,199 --> 00:30:33,708
- Basically the date was kind of a dud.
- That's too bad.
644
00:30:33,946 --> 00:30:35,014
Yeah.
645
00:30:35,153 --> 00:30:38,185
- Try a little harder on the next date.
- Excuse me?
646
00:30:38,401 --> 00:30:40,593
Aren't you going to a
concert together next week?
647
00:30:40,774 --> 00:30:42,602
That Peyton's a real
Mama's boy, isn't he?
648
00:30:42,772 --> 00:30:46,077
Because he shares his life with his
mother doesn't make him a Mama's boy.
649
00:30:46,311 --> 00:30:48,866
- I'm not gonna go to the concert.
- Thought you had a plan.
650
00:30:49,059 --> 00:30:52,330
We did, before we went out and
realized we can't spend time together.
651
00:30:52,556 --> 00:30:56,066
- You're not gonna cancel on him?
- Believe me, he won't be surprised.
652
00:30:56,303 --> 00:30:59,608
- He didn't have that great a time, either.
- You have to go to the concert.
653
00:30:59,842 --> 00:31:01,671
You made a commitment.
You have to honor it.
654
00:31:01,841 --> 00:31:03,636
Mom, this is my business, okay?
655
00:31:03,797 --> 00:31:06,705
- This is so like you!
- What is so like me?
656
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,827
You spend five seconds with a
person, they say one wrong thing...
657
00:31:10,042 --> 00:31:12,507
you turn on them, and never
give them a second chance.
658
00:31:12,706 --> 00:31:14,660
You're extremely
judgmental, Lorelai.
659
00:31:14,830 --> 00:31:17,578
I'm not judgmental of the
pot calling the kettle black.
660
00:31:17,786 --> 00:31:21,136
I was with a man who talked about
nothing but himself, his place, his car.
661
00:31:21,367 --> 00:31:24,990
- He's proud of his accomplishments.
- He didn't end world hunger.
662
00:31:25,239 --> 00:31:28,430
He made the grueling decision
to spring for the bigger tires.
663
00:31:29,027 --> 00:31:31,696
- I have to go.
- We're not finished discussing this.
664
00:31:31,900 --> 00:31:35,568
There's nothing to discuss.
Rory's waiting. I'll see you Friday.
665
00:31:40,684 --> 00:31:42,274
- I got you a present.
- What?
666
00:31:42,433 --> 00:31:43,864
In my purse.
667
00:31:45,930 --> 00:31:49,440
- "Cardio Salsa."
- They play the Miami Sound Machine...
668
00:31:49,677 --> 00:31:51,823
and you dance around,
you get a great workout.
669
00:31:52,008 --> 00:31:54,916
- Why'd you buy me this?
- Because I'll feel stupid doing it alone.
670
00:31:55,131 --> 00:31:56,244
- Too bad.
- Come on!
671
00:31:56,381 --> 00:31:57,777
- No way.
- Salsa with me.
672
00:31:57,921 --> 00:31:59,079
Pretend I'm Antonio Banderas.
673
00:31:59,211 --> 00:32:01,245
If you were standing
behind Antonio Banderas...
674
00:32:01,417 --> 00:32:03,008
I couldn't pretend
that you are him.
675
00:32:03,166 --> 00:32:05,358
Don't you want me to
live a long and healthy life?
676
00:32:05,539 --> 00:32:08,844
Not if I have to do cardio salsa.
Nice knowing you, señora. Adios.
677
00:32:09,079 --> 00:32:12,384
- I would salsa for you.
- Luckily, you'll never have to.
678
00:32:12,700 --> 00:32:13,847
Hello?
679
00:32:13,991 --> 00:32:16,739
Dwight. Hi. It's nice
to hear from you, too.
680
00:32:17,072 --> 00:32:19,264
How did you get my
cell phone number?
681
00:32:20,444 --> 00:32:23,557
Yeah, got to love that
Babette. The lawn's fine.
682
00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:24,808
Okay.
683
00:32:25,357 --> 00:32:26,550
Okay.
684
00:32:27,189 --> 00:32:29,495
Sure, Dwight. You
have a safe trip.
685
00:32:29,770 --> 00:32:31,167
Yeah. Bye.
686
00:32:31,852 --> 00:32:34,600
It seems that Dwight has been
checking the weather reports...
687
00:32:34,807 --> 00:32:37,601
and Stars Hollow is gonna be
extra-sunny for the next few days.
688
00:32:37,805 --> 00:32:40,713
So he told me instead of watering
the lawn twice for 15 minutes...
689
00:32:40,927 --> 00:32:42,736
we could water it three
times a day for 10 minutes.
690
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,032
- He should get a dog.
- Only the dog shouldn't mind...
691
00:32:45,216 --> 00:32:48,884
using the bathroom at the gas station
'cause that lawn is definitely off limits.
692
00:32:49,130 --> 00:32:52,559
I have to get back to the
inn. Could you water for me?
693
00:32:52,793 --> 00:32:53,644
It was your idea.
694
00:32:53,656 --> 00:32:55,701
I can't. I have a china
shipment coming in.
695
00:32:55,915 --> 00:32:56,983
Do it tonight.
696
00:32:57,123 --> 00:32:59,009
It needs it now, and
if we let that lawn
697
00:32:59,021 --> 00:33:01,155
die, he'll vibe us for
the rest of our lives.
698
00:33:01,411 --> 00:33:02,922
Not me. I'm off to
college next year.
699
00:33:03,076 --> 00:33:04,746
- You'll be home for holidays.
- Not now.
700
00:33:04,909 --> 00:33:07,374
You'd stay away from me on
holidays because of Dwight?
701
00:33:07,573 --> 00:33:09,447
Nobody wants
vibing on the holidays.
702
00:33:09,614 --> 00:33:12,203
I'll be seriously late if I
have to go all the way home.
703
00:33:12,403 --> 00:33:14,709
- Fine.
- Thanks. You're my favorite daughter.
704
00:33:14,901 --> 00:33:18,251
- You say that to all your daughters.
- I do. But I only mean it with you.
705
00:33:18,565 --> 00:33:21,234
- Bye.
- Bye. Dwight, please!
706
00:33:21,437 --> 00:33:23,709
You're on a business
trip. Get a hooker. Hello.
707
00:33:24,268 --> 00:33:26,222
Lorelai. Good.
I'm glad I got you.
708
00:33:26,391 --> 00:33:28,538
I just wanted you to
know that I'm playing golf...
709
00:33:28,723 --> 00:33:30,757
with Peyton's father,
Brennon, on Sunday.
710
00:33:30,929 --> 00:33:31,962
Okay.
711
00:33:32,845 --> 00:33:33,913
Wear sunscreen.
712
00:33:34,052 --> 00:33:36,846
I will call you afterward and
we can evaluate how to proceed.
713
00:33:37,049 --> 00:33:38,127
What are you talking about?
714
00:33:38,215 --> 00:33:41,520
Not sure how much damage is done,
so I need time with the man to assess...
715
00:33:41,754 --> 00:33:43,583
whether a simple
apology will work.
716
00:33:43,752 --> 00:33:45,422
- Apology from who?
- From you.
717
00:33:45,585 --> 00:33:47,380
- For what?
- For the way you treated Peyton.
718
00:33:47,541 --> 00:33:50,494
- Are you serious?
- Of course I'm serious.
719
00:33:52,037 --> 00:33:55,501
- Dad, this is none of your business.
- It certainly is my business.
720
00:33:55,909 --> 00:33:59,782
No, who I do or do not date is
absolutely none of your business.
721
00:34:00,073 --> 00:34:02,060
Peyton's mother is in
the DAR with your mother.
722
00:34:02,238 --> 00:34:03,271
I know that.
723
00:34:03,404 --> 00:34:05,119
She's also on the
opera committee...
724
00:34:05,277 --> 00:34:08,151
the hospital board and the
horticultural society with your mom.
725
00:34:08,358 --> 00:34:09,914
I get it. They hang.
What's the point?
726
00:34:10,065 --> 00:34:12,734
This woman is a very important
person in our social circle.
727
00:34:12,938 --> 00:34:15,493
She may have taken what
you did the wrong way...
728
00:34:15,686 --> 00:34:18,116
which could affect her
relationship with your mother.
729
00:34:18,308 --> 00:34:21,182
All I did was not go on a second
date with her fully grown son.
730
00:34:21,389 --> 00:34:23,502
There's no way she's gonna
be mad at Mom for that.
731
00:34:23,679 --> 00:34:25,792
Lorelai, you obviously
do not understand...
732
00:34:25,969 --> 00:34:27,923
the way things work
in your mother's world.
733
00:34:28,092 --> 00:34:30,557
There is a certain protocol
that must be followed...
734
00:34:30,757 --> 00:34:33,141
social rules that
dictate proper behavior...
735
00:34:33,338 --> 00:34:35,893
and these rules must
be very strictly adhered to.
736
00:34:36,086 --> 00:34:38,392
Dad, I'm not going out
with Peyton again. Period.
737
00:34:38,583 --> 00:34:40,809
Lorelai, let me tell
you a little story.
738
00:34:41,540 --> 00:34:46,003
Now, two years ago, Sally Wallington's
check for the winter formal bounced.
739
00:34:46,286 --> 00:34:47,354
So?
740
00:34:47,493 --> 00:34:49,924
It took her two weeks
to replace the check.
741
00:34:50,533 --> 00:34:51,646
So?
742
00:34:51,782 --> 00:34:54,166
When Sally attended
the next DAR meeting...
743
00:34:54,363 --> 00:34:56,475
she was served
the last cup of tea.
744
00:34:56,653 --> 00:34:59,447
- So?
- Before this unfortunate incident...
745
00:34:59,651 --> 00:35:02,115
Sally Wallington always
received the first cup of tea.
746
00:35:02,315 --> 00:35:03,825
When she was suddenly demoted...
747
00:35:03,980 --> 00:35:06,013
your mother moved up
to the prime tea spot...
748
00:35:06,187 --> 00:35:07,982
and she's held
that spot ever since.
749
00:35:08,143 --> 00:35:10,289
Now, she's very
proud of that spot...
750
00:35:10,558 --> 00:35:13,943
and now she's afraid this
little incident may jeopardize it.
751
00:35:14,180 --> 00:35:16,690
Dad, I explained this to
Mom, and I'll explain it to you.
752
00:35:16,887 --> 00:35:18,635
I'm not 16. I don't
live with you anymore.
753
00:35:18,802 --> 00:35:21,516
I've made my own decisions,
romantic and otherwise, for a long time.
754
00:35:21,716 --> 00:35:23,545
You can play all
the golf you want...
755
00:35:23,714 --> 00:35:26,099
but the subject better be
letting chicks into the club...
756
00:35:26,296 --> 00:35:28,283
because my love life
is officially off-limits.
757
00:35:28,461 --> 00:35:30,448
- Didn't you hear what I said?
- About the tea.
758
00:35:30,626 --> 00:35:32,932
Yes, I heard it, and I'm
sorry, but it sounds insane.
759
00:35:33,123 --> 00:35:35,111
Of course it sounds
insane! It is insane!
760
00:35:35,288 --> 00:35:37,798
- That is not the point!
- Okay, what's the point?
761
00:35:37,995 --> 00:35:40,902
Your mother is upset, and
I don't want her to be upset.
762
00:35:41,201 --> 00:35:42,916
You may not
understand her world...
763
00:35:43,074 --> 00:35:45,630
I may not understand her
world, but it is her world...
764
00:35:45,821 --> 00:35:50,489
and in her world it is very important
that she have the first cup of tea.
765
00:35:51,026 --> 00:35:52,934
And I don't care about
your independence...
766
00:35:53,107 --> 00:35:55,572
or what you told your mother
or anything else you say.
767
00:35:55,773 --> 00:35:59,555
If my wife wants the first cup of tea,
she's going to have the first cup of tea!
768
00:35:59,810 --> 00:36:00,843
That's it!
769
00:36:01,018 --> 00:36:03,528
Now, I will call
you after I play golf.
770
00:36:32,701 --> 00:36:34,813
[Soft song playing
on alarm clock]
771
00:36:36,573 --> 00:36:37,891
[Phone ringing]
772
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,711
[On answering machine] It's
Dwight. Leave a message. Namaste.
773
00:36:41,319 --> 00:36:45,068
Dwight? Hi, it's Doris. Doris,
your wife! Remember me?
774
00:36:45,316 --> 00:36:46,827
The woman who
was asleep in bed...
775
00:36:46,981 --> 00:36:49,366
when you snuck out the
window like a spineless worm!
776
00:36:49,563 --> 00:36:52,357
How dare you sneak out, you
sniveling pond-scum sample!
777
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,706
I should call Erin
Brockovich to bring a lawsuit...
778
00:36:54,892 --> 00:36:57,402
against your parents, you
steaming lump of toxic waste!
779
00:36:57,598 --> 00:36:59,870
You really thought you
could get away from me?
780
00:37:00,054 --> 00:37:02,360
I would've found you
sooner if I'd bothered to look...
781
00:37:02,552 --> 00:37:03,984
but now I have. I've found you.
782
00:37:04,134 --> 00:37:06,440
And alll can say is this: I
want my boardgames back!
783
00:37:06,632 --> 00:37:08,347
I want them back and
I want them back now!
784
00:37:08,506 --> 00:37:11,300
I'll hunt you to the ends of
the earth until I get them back...
785
00:37:11,503 --> 00:37:13,377
especially the Trivial Pursuit!
786
00:37:33,236 --> 00:37:34,234
[Groaning]
787
00:37:34,693 --> 00:37:35,761
Gross!
788
00:37:39,856 --> 00:37:43,206
Dean, please have your pager
with you. Please, come on.
789
00:37:44,893 --> 00:37:46,324
Dean! Come on!
790
00:37:46,559 --> 00:37:48,751
Damn you and your
Unabomber tendencies!
791
00:37:49,806 --> 00:37:50,999
Man!
792
00:38:00,715 --> 00:38:03,065
- Slow down!
- Get out of my way!
793
00:38:03,379 --> 00:38:05,303
I like the new look.
It's very Blue Crush.
794
00:38:05,315 --> 00:38:05,843
Hilarious.
795
00:38:06,043 --> 00:38:07,315
- What's the matter?
- Nothing.
796
00:38:07,458 --> 00:38:09,128
You're walking
pretty fast for nothing.
797
00:38:09,290 --> 00:38:11,357
Our president said
"exercise," and I am patriotic.
798
00:38:11,539 --> 00:38:13,296
- And completely soaked.
- Where is everyone?
799
00:38:13,454 --> 00:38:14,851
- Who are you looking for?
- No one!
800
00:38:14,911 --> 00:38:18,216
Rory, stop. What's the matter? Other
than you're obviously out of towels?
801
00:38:18,450 --> 00:38:21,402
This guy moved in across the way,
and we said we'd water his lawn.
802
00:38:21,614 --> 00:38:23,601
It can only be watered
in 10-minute increments.
803
00:38:23,779 --> 00:38:25,462
Otherwise the lawn drowns,
and the thing is stuck.
804
00:38:25,486 --> 00:38:27,598
And it won't turn off and
I have to find someone.
805
00:38:27,776 --> 00:38:30,127
Luke or Taylor or...
Where are you going?
806
00:38:32,147 --> 00:38:35,770
You don't have to do this!
I didn't ask you to do this!
807
00:38:36,228 --> 00:38:38,737
I can just find
someone else to do it!
808
00:38:41,182 --> 00:38:43,566
- You made it look so easy.
- It was loose.
809
00:38:43,763 --> 00:38:46,477
You just had to press
down and give it a good twist.
810
00:38:46,678 --> 00:38:48,585
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
811
00:38:50,757 --> 00:38:53,347
- So, things are good?
- Yeah. Really good.
812
00:38:55,004 --> 00:38:56,197
- School?
- Good.
813
00:38:56,628 --> 00:38:59,263
- Still gonna do the Harvard thing?
- Yeah.
814
00:39:00,166 --> 00:39:01,279
Good.
815
00:39:01,873 --> 00:39:03,270
Yeah. Good.
816
00:39:05,828 --> 00:39:06,941
So...
817
00:39:07,535 --> 00:39:09,046
[Pager beeping]
818
00:39:10,076 --> 00:39:11,870
- My pager.
- I figured.
819
00:39:14,322 --> 00:39:17,036
- Who is it?
- It's Dean.
820
00:39:17,237 --> 00:39:19,985
I paged him earlier to
come over and help me...
821
00:39:20,192 --> 00:39:23,464
- and he just got the message, so he's...
- Coming over to help.
822
00:39:23,689 --> 00:39:24,722
Yeah.
823
00:39:26,146 --> 00:39:27,214
Okay.
824
00:39:37,095 --> 00:39:38,571
[Doorbell ringing]
825
00:39:43,049 --> 00:39:45,003
- Hi, Mom.
- Hello, Lorelai.
826
00:39:45,464 --> 00:39:47,531
- Hi, Grandma.
- Hello, Rory.
827
00:39:48,420 --> 00:39:50,975
- That's a pretty sweater.
- Thank you.
828
00:39:51,375 --> 00:39:54,442
I do love you in blue. You
should wear blue more often.
829
00:39:54,664 --> 00:39:57,412
- Buy her more blue, Lorelai.
- I'll get right on it.
830
00:39:57,662 --> 00:39:59,854
- I brought you something, Mom.
- Really?
831
00:40:00,368 --> 00:40:02,038
- Soda, Rory?
- Yes, please.
832
00:40:02,201 --> 00:40:04,188
These are pictures
from Sookie's wedding.
833
00:40:04,365 --> 00:40:06,114
There's a great one of
you and Dad dancing.
834
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:08,916
- I put them in an album.
- That's very nice. Thank you.
835
00:40:09,111 --> 00:40:11,224
- You want to see?
- I'm making drinks, Lorelai.
836
00:40:11,401 --> 00:40:13,832
- Right. Later it is.
- Here you go.
837
00:40:15,148 --> 00:40:16,863
- Here.
- Guess I'm having wine.
838
00:40:17,022 --> 00:40:18,499
- You didn't want wine?
- Wine's fine.
839
00:40:18,645 --> 00:40:20,712
- I'll get you something else.
- I'm good with wine.
840
00:40:20,894 --> 00:40:23,086
I can make you a martini.
Would you like a martini?
841
00:40:23,267 --> 00:40:26,492
You usually ask me what I want.
Tonight you didn't ask what I wanted...
842
00:40:26,723 --> 00:40:29,437
so I didn't have a chance to
tell you how much I'd love wine.
843
00:40:29,636 --> 00:40:31,193
I bought cheese to
have before dinner.
844
00:40:31,343 --> 00:40:33,489
- Great. We love cheese.
- It goes great with wine.
845
00:40:33,675 --> 00:40:35,345
I will be right back.
846
00:40:37,756 --> 00:40:39,663
Boy, it's cold in here.
847
00:40:40,004 --> 00:40:43,275
- It's a lot colder where you're sitting.
- She's mad at me.
848
00:40:43,500 --> 00:40:45,534
- Think she's gonna be mad at me all night?
- Yep.
849
00:40:45,707 --> 00:40:47,298
I should go in
there and talk to her.
850
00:40:47,456 --> 00:40:49,887
- You wouldn't want to talk to her for me?
- Nope.
851
00:40:50,079 --> 00:40:51,907
Good thing you don't
get paid by the word.
852
00:40:52,077 --> 00:40:54,985
The sooner you get in there,
the sooner you get cheese.
853
00:40:57,905 --> 00:41:00,733
- Need some help?
- No, I'm fine, thank you.
854
00:41:01,778 --> 00:41:05,127
- Mom, I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
- Sorry for what?
855
00:41:05,358 --> 00:41:07,153
Sorry about the
whole Peyton thing.
856
00:41:07,315 --> 00:41:09,620
When I asked you for
his number, I didn't think...
857
00:41:09,813 --> 00:41:11,721
- Think about what?
- About what would happen...
858
00:41:11,894 --> 00:41:15,404
if things didn't work out with us. I
mean, I know his mom is your friend...
859
00:41:15,642 --> 00:41:17,913
and I shouldn't have gotten
mixed up in this thing...
860
00:41:18,098 --> 00:41:21,562
if I wasn't prepared to remember
that what I do will affect you.
861
00:41:21,803 --> 00:41:25,915
And to me, it's just a Bowie
concert, but to you, it's not.
862
00:41:27,049 --> 00:41:29,763
I was a little
thoughtless, and I'm sorry.
863
00:41:29,964 --> 00:41:32,156
But you have to understand
that I was not lying...
864
00:41:32,337 --> 00:41:33,813
when I said we had a bad time.
865
00:41:33,961 --> 00:41:38,072
We had a really,
really bad time.
866
00:41:38,581 --> 00:41:41,806
I swear, it was one of the worst
times I've ever had, it was awful.
867
00:41:42,037 --> 00:41:45,387
Do you remember skiing with
the Danners and their Dobermans?
868
00:41:45,618 --> 00:41:46,810
God, yes.
869
00:41:46,950 --> 00:41:48,097
This was worse.
870
00:41:48,241 --> 00:41:50,467
And not just for me. It
was pretty bad for him, too.
871
00:41:50,656 --> 00:41:52,768
It wasn't like he was in
love and I was miserable.
872
00:41:52,945 --> 00:41:54,740
We were both in pain. Deep pain.
873
00:41:54,902 --> 00:41:56,935
Marathon Man kind of pain.
874
00:41:58,191 --> 00:42:01,019
But despite all this horrible
pain that we were both in...
875
00:42:01,230 --> 00:42:04,297
and would be in again if we had to
spend one more second together...
876
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:08,904
if you really want me to, I will
go to the Bowie concert with him.
877
00:42:10,223 --> 00:42:12,335
Your saying that means a lot.
878
00:42:13,845 --> 00:42:15,480
Thank you, Lorelai.
879
00:42:17,301 --> 00:42:19,572
Borrow Rory's
sweater when you go.
880
00:42:23,504 --> 00:42:26,094
[Singing] Ground
Control to Major Tom