1 00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:28,077 Twenty-three is old. It's almost 25, which is, like, almost mid-20s. 2 00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:30,012 - She did not say that. - She did say that. 3 00:00:30,168 --> 00:00:32,761 It seems wrong that Jessica Simpson is alive and well... 4 00:00:32,961 --> 00:00:34,598 and Roy got eaten by his tiger. 5 00:00:34,753 --> 00:00:36,663 Survival of the fittest, baby. 6 00:00:37,005 --> 00:00:38,722 Man, this place is packed. 7 00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:40,779 Damn that Zagat Guide. 8 00:00:40,923 --> 00:00:42,516 Only the loser mini-table's open. 9 00:00:42,674 --> 00:00:44,585 - What do we do? - Time to hover. 10 00:00:45,134 --> 00:00:47,647 You take the old couple, I'll hit the cybergeek. 11 00:00:47,844 --> 00:00:48,993 Got it. 12 00:00:51,721 --> 00:00:52,756 Hello. 13 00:00:54,973 --> 00:00:56,087 [Sexily] Hello. 14 00:01:01,852 --> 00:01:04,161 That was the best hovering I've ever seen you do. 15 00:01:04,352 --> 00:01:07,867 - I was taught by the best. - But the focus. You never blinked. 16 00:01:08,105 --> 00:01:11,016 And the sneeze, so tiny, so dainty, so terrifying to the old. 17 00:01:11,231 --> 00:01:12,460 Luke's gonna be mad. 18 00:01:12,608 --> 00:01:15,200 He hates it when we commandeer two tables during rush hour. 19 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:16,993 He only hated it that one time. 20 00:01:17,151 --> 00:01:19,585 - What time? - The time when we did it and he was mad. 21 00:01:19,777 --> 00:01:21,057 - He's hated it every time. - No. 22 00:01:21,196 --> 00:01:22,390 - Yes. - Only the one time. 23 00:01:22,529 --> 00:01:23,962 - What time? - The time we did it. 24 00:01:24,113 --> 00:01:27,309 - You're gonna do this to Luke? - Till he's so dizzy he throws up. 25 00:01:27,532 --> 00:01:28,646 Nice. 26 00:01:28,782 --> 00:01:30,374 - Calendars? - Let's do it. 27 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:33,695 So your finals-induced hibernation period is setting in... 28 00:01:33,911 --> 00:01:35,628 - Monday. - Okay. 29 00:01:36,078 --> 00:01:39,546 So how about Sunday, we have a major Sephora fix, maybe a movie... 30 00:01:39,788 --> 00:01:41,824 sort of a "see-you" day before you go "bye-bye"? 31 00:01:41,998 --> 00:01:44,352 - Throw in a pedicure, and you got a deal. - Done. 32 00:01:44,541 --> 00:01:47,292 Coffee's gonna be ready in a sec. You know what you want? 33 00:01:47,501 --> 00:01:50,936 We need napkins to cover this big, wide, expansive table. 34 00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:54,047 - Okay. Are you in the mood for pancakes? - Pancakes, sure. 35 00:01:54,254 --> 00:01:57,006 I guess we have enough space for pancakes. 36 00:01:57,215 --> 00:01:59,649 'Cause I'm making pumpkin pancakes... 37 00:01:59,841 --> 00:02:02,150 and it comes with homemade cinnamon butter. 38 00:02:02,342 --> 00:02:04,022 - You made cinnamon butter? - This morning. 39 00:02:04,177 --> 00:02:07,372 I bet the people who'd love a table but can't 'cause they're all taken... 40 00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:10,063 would love pumpkin pancakes with homemade cinnamon butter. 41 00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:11,900 - I'll get your coffee. - Hold on. 42 00:02:12,056 --> 00:02:13,887 - What? - We're sitting at two tables. 43 00:02:14,057 --> 00:02:15,854 - Yeah? - You hate that. That makes you mad. 44 00:02:16,016 --> 00:02:17,290 Only that one time. 45 00:02:17,433 --> 00:02:21,743 - Why are you so sunny this morning? - Actually, I finally hired some help. 46 00:02:22,019 --> 00:02:24,328 - Good for you. - I figured I needed the help. 47 00:02:24,521 --> 00:02:26,830 Got a kid in here to pick up the slack. 48 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,012 I kind of feel like a weight's been lifted. 49 00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:32,068 - Sounds very sensible. - Let me get your food going. 50 00:02:32,775 --> 00:02:33,970 Okay, so, talk to me. 51 00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:36,109 - Talk to you about what? - Talk to me about Jason. 52 00:02:36,277 --> 00:02:38,836 - There's nothing to talk about. - Oh, come on. 53 00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:40,860 I'm in a serious romantic dry spell. 54 00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:43,145 I need to live vicariously through somebody. 55 00:02:43,322 --> 00:02:45,313 - He has called. - Okay. 56 00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:48,322 - He has sent things. - Pipe bombs? 57 00:02:48,534 --> 00:02:50,285 - Flowers, candy. - Even better. 58 00:02:50,451 --> 00:02:52,885 But he's my father's partner. I've known him forever. 59 00:02:53,078 --> 00:02:55,990 Can you imagine if I actually went out with someone from my 'hood? 60 00:02:56,204 --> 00:02:57,399 Do you like him? 61 00:02:57,539 --> 00:03:01,246 He's completely not my type, but he does have a thing... 62 00:03:01,499 --> 00:03:03,887 and the smarts, and he does keep up. 63 00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:06,359 Maybe you should go out with him and see what happens. 64 00:03:06,544 --> 00:03:09,978 Dad would flip, and Mom hates him, so she would see it as a personal attack. 65 00:03:10,212 --> 00:03:12,327 I'm just getting her off me for spilling wine. 66 00:03:12,505 --> 00:03:14,256 - When did you do that? - Ninth grade. 67 00:03:14,423 --> 00:03:16,698 Things are quiet now. I just wanna keep them quiet. 68 00:03:16,882 --> 00:03:17,916 [Bell dinging] 69 00:03:18,049 --> 00:03:19,847 Hey, Brennon, pick up. 70 00:03:21,176 --> 00:03:22,574 - Oh, my God. - What? 71 00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:25,679 He hired Brennon Lewis. 72 00:03:25,846 --> 00:03:27,802 - You know him? - I went to junior high with him. 73 00:03:27,972 --> 00:03:29,086 - And? - Ew! 74 00:03:29,222 --> 00:03:30,257 He doesn't look that bad. 75 00:03:30,390 --> 00:03:33,267 He's the boy who dissected a frog, did not wash his hands... 76 00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:35,066 - and then ate a sandwich. - Ew! 77 00:03:35,225 --> 00:03:37,454 He's like the lost Farrelly brother. He's so stupid. 78 00:03:37,643 --> 00:03:38,923 He watched The Breakfast Club... 79 00:03:39,061 --> 00:03:41,370 and decided to tape his own butt cheeks together. 80 00:03:41,562 --> 00:03:43,871 Okay. So, Mensa's not sending him a T-shirt yet... 81 00:03:44,063 --> 00:03:46,531 but Luke has hired him, so we have to give him a chance. 82 00:03:46,731 --> 00:03:48,801 - You have the pancakes? - We sure do. 83 00:03:50,191 --> 00:03:51,784 - Hi, Brennon. - Hey. 84 00:03:52,568 --> 00:03:55,002 Rory Gilmore. We went to school together. 85 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,192 - Yeah? - You don't remember? 86 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,724 Biology? The frog? 87 00:04:00,197 --> 00:04:02,312 There've been a lot of frogs, man. 88 00:04:03,031 --> 00:04:06,102 - Okay. Thanks for the food. - Yup. 89 00:04:09,411 --> 00:04:11,401 Your kids will be gorgeous. 90 00:05:07,691 --> 00:05:11,001 This roommate of mine, sophomore year, we absolutely hated him. 91 00:05:11,235 --> 00:05:14,351 He was, in addition to being a complete nincompoop... 92 00:05:14,570 --> 00:05:16,242 rather a chubby lad. 93 00:05:16,404 --> 00:05:18,838 So, one night, we tied him in between two mattresses... 94 00:05:19,031 --> 00:05:20,550 - and threw him out the window. - What? 95 00:05:20,698 --> 00:05:22,018 I'm writing that one down. 96 00:05:22,158 --> 00:05:24,955 - Was he okay? - Oh, he was fine. He went to sleep. 97 00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:28,788 He woke up in the morning and picked up right where he left off. 98 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:31,470 We threw him out the window every night for a month. 99 00:05:31,662 --> 00:05:32,697 Then he transferred. 100 00:05:32,830 --> 00:05:37,026 You think tossing him regularly out the window had something to do with that? 101 00:05:37,291 --> 00:05:39,645 It crossed our minds, yes. 102 00:05:39,834 --> 00:05:43,109 However, we were young and full of energy. Every day was an adventure. 103 00:05:43,336 --> 00:05:45,929 No challenge was too great. We wanted to change the world. 104 00:05:46,129 --> 00:05:47,243 This is so great. 105 00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:49,529 I wanna thank you for inviting me to lunch. 106 00:05:49,714 --> 00:05:51,147 You're very welcome, Paris. 107 00:05:51,298 --> 00:05:52,777 How often does a man like me... 108 00:05:52,924 --> 00:05:55,802 get the chance to entertain two such lovely and intelligent ladies? 109 00:05:56,009 --> 00:05:57,919 You are a honey-tongued devil, aren't you? 110 00:05:58,094 --> 00:06:00,812 So, tell me, what are your plans for the game? 111 00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:03,002 - The what? - The game. The Harvard-Yale game. 112 00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:05,295 I already have my ticket. I bought it a month ago. 113 00:06:05,473 --> 00:06:07,145 - You did? - It's the game, Rory. 114 00:06:07,307 --> 00:06:11,219 It's a college memory. I intend on having as many college memories as possible. 115 00:06:11,476 --> 00:06:14,865 Your grandmother and I have attended all these games for the past 32 years. 116 00:06:15,103 --> 00:06:17,491 We always buy a block of seats, and we got one for you. 117 00:06:17,688 --> 00:06:21,361 - So how about it? We'd love to take you. - And I would love to go. 118 00:06:21,606 --> 00:06:24,597 - Good. It'll be a wonderful day. - It will be a day to remember. 119 00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:28,410 - Richard? - Asher! Look at you! 120 00:06:29,111 --> 00:06:30,908 - Good to see you. - Good to see you. 121 00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:33,901 Your grandfather knows Asher Fleming? That's amazing. 122 00:06:34,113 --> 00:06:35,786 I read his latest book four times. 123 00:06:35,947 --> 00:06:38,506 He was on Charlie Rose last week and almost kept me awake. 124 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:39,739 I didn't know he knew him. 125 00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,856 I wonder if I can interview him for the paper. 126 00:06:42,034 --> 00:06:43,944 - What if I want an interview with him? - What? 127 00:06:44,119 --> 00:06:46,348 - He's my grandfather. - You're stealing my interview. 128 00:06:46,537 --> 00:06:49,175 - No, I'm just making you crazy. - Like that's hard. Feel proud. 129 00:06:49,371 --> 00:06:52,965 Girls, I'd like to introduce you to a former classmate of mine, Asher Fleming. 130 00:06:53,206 --> 00:06:54,765 Asher, my granddaughter, Rory. 131 00:06:54,916 --> 00:06:56,235 - Hello. - Pleasure to meet you. 132 00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:58,604 - And her friend, Paris Geller. - Paris. 133 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,269 I saw you on Charlie Rose. You were good. 134 00:07:00,293 --> 00:07:01,442 Thank you. 135 00:07:01,586 --> 00:07:03,385 Not too self-important, you made your point... 136 00:07:03,462 --> 00:07:06,498 and managed to look interested when Charlie babbled on about nothing. 137 00:07:06,714 --> 00:07:08,943 - Charlie Rose is a good friend of mine. - Whatever. 138 00:07:09,132 --> 00:07:11,566 Professor, I'd love to do a profile on you for the paper. 139 00:07:11,758 --> 00:07:14,146 Nothing puffy. Straight up, hard-hitting, uncensored. 140 00:07:14,343 --> 00:07:15,821 Your views, no slant. 141 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:19,642 - Tomorrow work for you? - Well, I'll have to check my schedule. 142 00:07:20,555 --> 00:07:23,545 - I do teach, you know. - Sure, you gotta pay the bills. 143 00:07:24,932 --> 00:07:27,241 Richard, terrific to see you again. 144 00:07:27,683 --> 00:07:29,832 - Let's have lunch next week. - Consider it a date. 145 00:07:30,018 --> 00:07:31,338 - Splendid. - Right. 146 00:07:31,477 --> 00:07:32,750 Goodbye, ladies. 147 00:07:35,062 --> 00:07:36,335 I'm a fan! 148 00:07:38,814 --> 00:07:42,329 - I could've opened with that, couldn't I? - Then you wouldn't be you. 149 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:49,399 [Answering machine beeping] 150 00:07:49,486 --> 00:07:51,795 JASON: Okay, see, a better man, a smarter man... 151 00:07:51,988 --> 00:07:53,673 a different man, would take into account... 152 00:07:53,697 --> 00:07:57,052 that flowers, candy, numerous phone calls have gone unnoticed by you. 153 00:07:57,283 --> 00:08:00,797 Those men would get a clue, have some pride, grow a pair, and move on. 154 00:08:01,035 --> 00:08:04,186 Oh, well, Lorelai Gilmore, daughter of Richard and Emily... 155 00:08:04,411 --> 00:08:06,129 mother of Rory, and friend to all... 156 00:08:06,288 --> 00:08:08,324 would you join me for dinner on Saturday night? 157 00:08:08,497 --> 00:08:09,645 Please call me back... 158 00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:13,701 because I will someday find my pathetic threshold and stop trying. 159 00:08:16,668 --> 00:08:17,667 [Phone ringing] 160 00:08:18,836 --> 00:08:20,030 This is Jason. 161 00:08:20,170 --> 00:08:21,365 This is Lorelai. 162 00:08:21,504 --> 00:08:22,902 - You're kidding. - No, I'm not. 163 00:08:23,047 --> 00:08:25,401 - You're really calling me back? - Yes, I am. 164 00:08:25,590 --> 00:08:29,297 Anyone there who could document this? A photographer, or a really fast painter? 165 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:32,018 You get the girl to call you back, and give her a hard time. 166 00:08:32,218 --> 00:08:33,491 You're right. I apologize. 167 00:08:33,636 --> 00:08:34,750 So, how are you? 168 00:08:34,886 --> 00:08:36,603 I'm fine. And you? 169 00:08:36,762 --> 00:08:37,911 I don't know. 170 00:08:38,055 --> 00:08:40,887 I've suspect you called to tell me you're not available for dinner... 171 00:08:41,097 --> 00:08:42,690 and that's gonna bum me out. 172 00:08:42,849 --> 00:08:44,441 - Look, Jason... - Okay... 173 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:47,670 before you continue, let me say I got us reservations at the China Garden. 174 00:08:47,893 --> 00:08:50,532 - You're kidding. - Very hot ticket in town. 175 00:08:50,728 --> 00:08:52,445 Good food, great bar, quite a scene. 176 00:08:52,604 --> 00:08:53,674 How did you do that? 177 00:08:53,813 --> 00:08:55,610 Pulled a few strings, greased a few palms... 178 00:08:55,773 --> 00:08:58,365 sold myself to a sous-chef. A very tender man, I might add. 179 00:08:58,565 --> 00:08:59,919 I just want you to be happy. 180 00:09:00,067 --> 00:09:01,465 So, long story short: 181 00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:04,043 table for two at 8:30. You need a little, black dress. 182 00:09:04,235 --> 00:09:05,793 I am so incredibly tempted. 183 00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,139 - But? - But... 184 00:09:07,403 --> 00:09:10,155 you work with my father. You're hated by my mother. 185 00:09:10,739 --> 00:09:13,377 - You come from my world. - You find me repulsive. 186 00:09:13,573 --> 00:09:15,961 No, I don't. I wish I did. 187 00:09:16,158 --> 00:09:17,830 Okay, here's what I'm gonna do. 188 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:20,380 I'm gonna keep the reservation and go by myself. 189 00:09:20,577 --> 00:09:22,176 I've been reading about it for months... 190 00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:24,557 and personally, I'd like to see what the fuss is about. 191 00:09:24,746 --> 00:09:27,021 Do you understand at all where I'm coming from? 192 00:09:27,206 --> 00:09:28,923 Nope, but that's okay. 193 00:09:29,332 --> 00:09:30,605 I'm sorry, Jason. 194 00:09:30,749 --> 00:09:33,068 Me, too. I bet you look good in one of those black dresses. 195 00:09:33,209 --> 00:09:34,438 Yes, I do. 196 00:09:35,001 --> 00:09:36,036 Goodbye, Lorelai. 197 00:09:36,169 --> 00:09:37,488 Bye, Jason. 198 00:09:38,963 --> 00:09:41,919 It's 10:00 at night, and suddenly I hear this terrible racket. 199 00:09:42,130 --> 00:09:45,326 So I go outside, and there is May Richmond... 200 00:09:45,548 --> 00:09:48,460 sneaking a six-foot Rudolph into her garage. 201 00:09:48,676 --> 00:09:50,951 That woman is working my last nerve. 202 00:09:51,135 --> 00:09:52,693 - So what? - So what? 203 00:09:52,844 --> 00:09:55,083 - Don't you know what this means? - I'm racking my brain. 204 00:09:55,263 --> 00:09:58,095 They're going to put a giant plastic reindeer on their roof. 205 00:09:58,306 --> 00:09:59,579 Right next to our roof. 206 00:09:59,723 --> 00:10:02,635 You scared they'll keep you up all night playing reindeer games? 207 00:10:02,849 --> 00:10:03,919 They can't light them up. 208 00:10:04,059 --> 00:10:06,447 The Homeowners' Association has very strict rules... 209 00:10:06,644 --> 00:10:10,078 about the amount of lights that you can display in front of your house. 210 00:10:10,312 --> 00:10:12,188 They already have lawn twinklers. 211 00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:15,472 They could give up their lawn twinklers and focus solely on the reindeer. 212 00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:19,444 They were awfully proud of their twinklers last year. It was all they talked about. 213 00:10:19,693 --> 00:10:22,410 Take a step back, examine the conversation you're having... 214 00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:23,839 and spend some time apart. 215 00:10:23,987 --> 00:10:25,863 May I have some more roast, please, Grandma? 216 00:10:26,029 --> 00:10:27,098 Of course you may. 217 00:10:27,238 --> 00:10:29,751 - It's really good tonight, Mom. - Thank you, Lorelai. 218 00:10:29,948 --> 00:10:33,257 By the way, Rory, we will pick you up in front of your residence hall... 219 00:10:33,491 --> 00:10:35,447 - tomorrow morning, 9:00 sharp. - Okay. 220 00:10:35,617 --> 00:10:37,846 - What's happening tomorrow? - Tomorrow's the game. 221 00:10:38,035 --> 00:10:40,674 - The game? - The game, the Harvard-Yale game. 222 00:10:40,870 --> 00:10:42,860 - Right. Football? - Lorelai. 223 00:10:43,038 --> 00:10:46,313 - Why does the question get a "Lorelai"? - Yes, it's football. 224 00:10:46,540 --> 00:10:49,418 The most important football game of the entire year. 225 00:10:49,625 --> 00:10:52,615 - All of Yale will be there. - Cool. Can I go? 226 00:10:52,835 --> 00:10:56,225 - You want to go to a football game? - If it's such a big deal, absolutely. 227 00:10:56,462 --> 00:10:58,213 But you don't like football. 228 00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:02,736 No, I'm not the die-hard fan that, say, you are, Mom, but it's Rory's school. 229 00:11:03,008 --> 00:11:05,044 - You won't get bored? - Yes, I'll get bored... 230 00:11:05,217 --> 00:11:07,729 but that's when the South Park impressions kick in. 231 00:11:07,926 --> 00:11:09,962 We have invited friends. Important people. 232 00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:12,046 I'm kidding, Mom. I can only do Cartman. 233 00:11:12,220 --> 00:11:14,415 - So, you want to go? - Yup. 234 00:11:14,597 --> 00:11:17,315 - You sure about this? - Absolutely positive. 235 00:11:17,515 --> 00:11:20,188 Well, I guess we could un-invite someone. 236 00:11:20,391 --> 00:11:22,109 - Cecil, perhaps. - Or Donlon. 237 00:11:22,268 --> 00:11:24,860 - Donlon just had his colon removed. - Cecil, then. 238 00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:28,415 I guess I should call him now, give him time to get another ticket. 239 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,113 - I'll call his wife. - Thanks! 240 00:11:32,064 --> 00:11:33,179 What is wrong with you? 241 00:11:33,315 --> 00:11:35,226 Why didn't you get me a ticket to the game? 242 00:11:35,399 --> 00:11:37,390 - I was saving you, dummy. - Saving me from what? 243 00:11:37,567 --> 00:11:39,160 - You hate football. - So do you. 244 00:11:39,319 --> 00:11:42,628 I know I hate football, but I couldn't get out of it. You could. 245 00:11:42,862 --> 00:11:46,376 So, I have to go watch a football game. I get to hang with you before finals. 246 00:11:46,614 --> 00:11:47,763 - You sure? - Of course. 247 00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:50,784 What's a football game last? Hour, hour and a half? 248 00:11:51,325 --> 00:11:54,043 Longer than an hour and a half? Are you kidding me? 249 00:11:54,243 --> 00:11:55,312 Damn it. 250 00:11:55,452 --> 00:11:58,443 Emily, Cecil's the one who had his colon removed. 251 00:11:58,662 --> 00:12:00,095 I'm calling Donlon. 252 00:12:02,039 --> 00:12:03,279 [Lorelai sighing exasperatedly] 253 00:12:05,790 --> 00:12:08,178 - I hate football. - I tried to get you out of it. 254 00:12:08,375 --> 00:12:11,765 - You should have tried harder. - Next time. Where's Luke? 255 00:12:12,003 --> 00:12:14,675 Probably in bed, where the rest of the world is on a Saturday. 256 00:12:14,879 --> 00:12:16,869 - Did I put on underwear? - What? 257 00:12:17,047 --> 00:12:19,959 I think I forgot to put on underwear. Can you check? 258 00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:24,028 Did I just ask you to check if I put on underwear? 259 00:12:24,218 --> 00:12:26,527 - Yes. - I hate football. 260 00:12:26,719 --> 00:12:27,947 You just need coffee. 261 00:12:28,094 --> 00:12:29,527 - Oh, no! - What? 262 00:12:29,678 --> 00:12:31,032 - Froggy. - Brennon? 263 00:12:31,180 --> 00:12:33,567 - I hate that kid. - I thought we were giving him a chance. 264 00:12:33,764 --> 00:12:36,118 Chance ended when he dumped a chili-bean omelet on me. 265 00:12:36,307 --> 00:12:38,741 What do we do? He's coming over here. 266 00:12:38,934 --> 00:12:42,051 - What can I do for you chicas? - We'd just like to order, please. 267 00:12:42,268 --> 00:12:44,100 - Go ahead. - I'll have the cheese omelet... 268 00:12:44,270 --> 00:12:47,340 extra cheddar, no jack, sourdough toast, two bacons, two sausages. 269 00:12:47,563 --> 00:12:50,281 - You're not writing this down. - Don't need to. Continue. 270 00:12:50,482 --> 00:12:54,599 Two bacons, two sausages, one pancake. I'd really like you to write this down. 271 00:12:54,859 --> 00:12:56,576 Trust me, it's all stored. 272 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,941 - What would you like? - Rye toast. 273 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,958 - You want that toasted? - Sure, why not? 274 00:13:02,363 --> 00:13:04,035 - Got it. - Rye toast? 275 00:13:04,197 --> 00:13:06,233 My odds are way better than yours. 276 00:13:06,949 --> 00:13:09,303 - Brennon! - Nice volume. 277 00:13:09,492 --> 00:13:11,721 - This is a box of doughnuts. - Yeah? 278 00:13:11,910 --> 00:13:15,822 - It's supposed to be a box of bagels. - They both have holes in them, right? 279 00:13:16,079 --> 00:13:18,308 We've already had this conversation. 280 00:13:18,497 --> 00:13:21,214 Get me the bagels. Go! Now! Bye! 281 00:13:25,209 --> 00:13:28,245 - Excuse me, can I get a napkin? - Yeah, sure. 282 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,718 Excuse me, can I get a napkin to put my napkin on? 283 00:13:34,672 --> 00:13:35,992 This is so completely unfair. 284 00:13:36,131 --> 00:13:39,043 I didn't even know Luke was looking for someone. I'd love to work here. 285 00:13:39,258 --> 00:13:42,692 - Your mother would've let you? - Luke is a man. With man-parts, we think. 286 00:13:42,926 --> 00:13:45,280 Luke's is one of the few Mrs. Kim-approved places. 287 00:13:45,469 --> 00:13:47,584 No alcohol, walking distance to the church... 288 00:13:47,762 --> 00:13:49,161 and you can see my house from here. 289 00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:52,698 I totally need the money. Instead, I get to return a box of doughnuts once a day. 290 00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:55,241 - Rye toast. - Told you. 291 00:13:56,684 --> 00:13:58,594 You wanted... something, right? 292 00:14:00,644 --> 00:14:02,122 Excuse me just a second, won't you? 293 00:14:02,270 --> 00:14:03,544 - Sure. - Thanks. 294 00:14:03,813 --> 00:14:05,291 - Luke? - What are you doing here? 295 00:14:05,438 --> 00:14:06,950 We're going to the Harvard-Yale game. 296 00:14:07,106 --> 00:14:10,097 You're going to the Harvard-Yale game? You know what they do there? 297 00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:12,192 - They make babies? - They play football. 298 00:14:12,359 --> 00:14:14,871 And you're supposed to watch them play football. 299 00:14:15,068 --> 00:14:16,706 Enough about me. Let's talk about you. 300 00:14:16,862 --> 00:14:17,931 - I'm worried. - Why? 301 00:14:18,070 --> 00:14:22,107 Ever since you hired that Brennon, the little spark has gone out of your eyes. 302 00:14:22,364 --> 00:14:24,161 - It has? - Yes, it has. 303 00:14:24,323 --> 00:14:27,599 And I am here to tell you that it is hell watching you go through this. 304 00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,293 So I think for your own sake, you should fire Froggy. 305 00:14:30,493 --> 00:14:32,006 - Froggy? - Brennon. 306 00:14:32,161 --> 00:14:35,391 - You want me to fire Brennon. Why? - Remember the spark? 307 00:14:35,621 --> 00:14:38,453 - Why do you want me to fire Brennon? - Come back, little spark! 308 00:14:38,664 --> 00:14:42,099 He doesn't write the orders down, never brings you food that's hot, or yours. 309 00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:45,289 He can't distinguish bagels from doughnuts, hands out butt-napkins... 310 00:14:45,501 --> 00:14:48,777 and he's worn that Foreigner T-shirt every day since he started working... 311 00:14:49,004 --> 00:14:51,040 and he doesn't know who they are. I asked him. 312 00:14:51,213 --> 00:14:52,611 What are butt-napkins? 313 00:14:52,756 --> 00:14:56,588 Kirk needed a napkin, and he pulled one out of his back pocket. 314 00:14:57,216 --> 00:14:59,047 - Hey, Bren? - Yeah, boss. 315 00:14:59,259 --> 00:15:01,534 Did you give Kirk a napkin out of your back pocket? 316 00:15:01,719 --> 00:15:02,867 - Yeah. - Don't. 317 00:15:03,094 --> 00:15:04,209 Okay. 318 00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:07,927 That's it? What about all the other stuff? 319 00:15:08,097 --> 00:15:10,406 You're just used to me. Give him time. 320 00:15:10,599 --> 00:15:12,918 Have you heard about the frog, the hands, and the sandwich? 321 00:15:13,016 --> 00:15:15,484 No, but I've heard about the rabbi, the priest, and the duck. 322 00:15:15,684 --> 00:15:17,038 You're not taking me seriously. 323 00:15:17,186 --> 00:15:20,176 Bren, get Ms. Gilmore a cup of hot coffee, will you? 324 00:15:20,896 --> 00:15:24,330 Give the kid a chance. He's helping me out... Decaf. 325 00:15:24,564 --> 00:15:27,476 And I have faith in him. All he needs is a little more time... 326 00:15:27,691 --> 00:15:28,760 Black top. 327 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:31,459 To learn the ropes, and he'll be fine. 328 00:15:32,818 --> 00:15:36,287 - Where did he go? - I don't know. 329 00:15:42,657 --> 00:15:45,807 Where are they all going? It's Saturday morning. They should be in bed. 330 00:15:46,034 --> 00:15:47,953 They're excited about life. It's a college thing. 331 00:15:48,118 --> 00:15:52,189 - How come you're not excited about life? - I find nothing exciting before 11:00. 332 00:15:52,454 --> 00:15:54,171 EMILY: Yoo-hoo, girls! Over here! 333 00:15:54,330 --> 00:15:55,889 God, who's yoo-hooing? 334 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,396 Oh, my God. 335 00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,053 - Lorelai, Rory. - It's a fine day for football. 336 00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:01,364 And funny hats. 337 00:16:01,501 --> 00:16:05,129 If you're going to stay on the ground, you should get a saxophone and a tip cup. 338 00:16:05,377 --> 00:16:07,333 - Sorry. Up! - Right. 339 00:16:07,545 --> 00:16:11,060 - Lorelai, what are you wearing? - You're horrified by what I'm wearing? 340 00:16:11,297 --> 00:16:13,606 - You're wearing crimson. - I'm not wearing crimson. 341 00:16:13,799 --> 00:16:16,187 - She can't go like that. - Crimson is Harvard's color. 342 00:16:16,384 --> 00:16:19,182 That's a very dangerous choice to make today, Lorelai. 343 00:16:19,386 --> 00:16:21,535 I'm not wearing crimson. I'm wearing red. 344 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,153 - Same thing. - Very different. 345 00:16:23,304 --> 00:16:25,943 Look at Rory. Rory is dressed in Yale colors. 346 00:16:26,139 --> 00:16:28,138 - Why can't you be like Rory? - Rory looks perfect. 347 00:16:28,265 --> 00:16:31,540 Rory got dressed just before you got here, and she's wearing my sweater. 348 00:16:31,767 --> 00:16:34,679 - I could have been the one dressed right. - You can wear my jacket. 349 00:16:34,893 --> 00:16:36,653 You have a samurai sword under those pompoms? 350 00:16:36,812 --> 00:16:38,971 'Cause you'll have to Kill Bill me to get me into that. 351 00:16:39,146 --> 00:16:40,180 - Arm. - Yes, ma'am. 352 00:16:40,313 --> 00:16:43,111 - What have you got there, Rory? - Fig Newtons. 353 00:16:43,315 --> 00:16:45,748 - Fig Newtons? - A little dessert for later. 354 00:16:47,567 --> 00:16:50,000 - What's so funny? - We got the jumbo pack. We're not cheap. 355 00:16:50,193 --> 00:16:52,581 I'm sorry, Rory, we didn't mean to laugh at you. 356 00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:55,849 - We love your Fig Newtons. - We'll honor them and eat them proudly. 357 00:16:56,072 --> 00:16:58,381 They're just Fig Newtons. Don't get all freaky on us. 358 00:16:58,572 --> 00:16:59,607 Let's get going. 359 00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:01,412 - What time does the game start? - I:00. 360 00:17:01,574 --> 00:17:03,689 Then why the hell did we have to meet you at 9:00? 361 00:17:03,867 --> 00:17:06,665 Is it absolutely necessary for you to talk like Sharon Osbourne? 362 00:17:06,869 --> 00:17:08,427 You're the one with the dirty button. 363 00:17:08,578 --> 00:17:11,171 There's much more to the big game day than the game. 364 00:17:11,372 --> 00:17:15,364 There are all kinds of rituals and traditions we Gilmores take part in. 365 00:17:15,624 --> 00:17:18,614 - First off, a visit to Dan. - A visit to Dan. 366 00:17:18,834 --> 00:17:20,506 - Who's Dan? - Come along, ladies. 367 00:17:20,668 --> 00:17:22,658 - Who's Dan? - Button your coat. 368 00:17:23,795 --> 00:17:24,909 Who's Dan? 369 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:27,809 Girls, I'd like you to meet Dan. 370 00:17:29,047 --> 00:17:31,276 The original Handsome Dan. 371 00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:34,600 - The very first Yale mascot. - Oh, my. 372 00:17:35,051 --> 00:17:38,565 Just look at him, will you? Strong, determined, the very essence of dignity. 373 00:17:38,803 --> 00:17:40,922 Got cotton stuffed in his butt. How dignified is that? 374 00:17:41,054 --> 00:17:43,124 You will not sully the name of Dan. 375 00:17:43,305 --> 00:17:45,944 This dog has been the inspiration for many a young man. 376 00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:47,699 And young woman. 377 00:17:47,850 --> 00:17:50,317 - We salute you, Dan. - Time for a toast. 378 00:17:50,517 --> 00:17:51,712 Seriously? 379 00:17:53,019 --> 00:17:55,089 It's a tradition. Here we go. 380 00:17:55,270 --> 00:17:56,544 The Rory flask. 381 00:17:56,979 --> 00:17:59,413 And the fun flask. 382 00:17:59,939 --> 00:18:01,167 Thank you. 383 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:03,146 - Lorelai? - Fun flask, please. 384 00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:08,429 All right. Give our boys the strength... 385 00:18:08,652 --> 00:18:11,245 to do battle yet again for the honor of Yale... 386 00:18:11,446 --> 00:18:14,402 and help us send the Harvard boys home in a body bag. 387 00:18:14,947 --> 00:18:17,062 - Dan, we salute you. - To Dan. 388 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,559 - To Dan. - To Dan. 389 00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:20,852 I like football. 390 00:18:20,992 --> 00:18:22,823 I must admit, throughout the years... 391 00:18:22,993 --> 00:18:26,667 I've often hoped to be able to share this day with my granddaughter. 392 00:18:26,953 --> 00:18:31,185 It's selfish, I know, but I am thrilled to be here with you, Rory. 393 00:18:31,456 --> 00:18:32,651 To Rory. 394 00:18:34,958 --> 00:18:37,277 Two more of these and I'll start to understand your outfit. 395 00:18:37,418 --> 00:18:39,647 [Richard chanting] 396 00:18:43,463 --> 00:18:44,782 What is he doing? 397 00:18:44,921 --> 00:18:46,274 [All chanting] 398 00:18:46,964 --> 00:18:48,164 [Gasping] They're joining him. 399 00:18:48,215 --> 00:18:50,524 Apparently, everyone out here has a fun flask. 400 00:18:50,716 --> 00:18:55,026 - You know, Cole Porter wrote that song. - Was it before he learned to write songs? 401 00:19:04,098 --> 00:19:06,452 All right, everyone. Time to move on. 402 00:19:06,642 --> 00:19:08,075 We have a lot of things to get to. 403 00:19:08,225 --> 00:19:10,424 I hear there's a squirrel encased in concrete next door. 404 00:19:10,518 --> 00:19:13,475 We have to burn incense, dance around his tail with nuts in our mouths. 405 00:19:13,687 --> 00:19:17,201 - What can I possibly do to stop you? - More of the fun flask might do the trick. 406 00:19:17,439 --> 00:19:19,714 - That's all until we eat. - Where are we going to eat? 407 00:19:19,899 --> 00:19:22,731 - It's a tailgate party. - I'm sorry, a what? 408 00:19:22,941 --> 00:19:25,773 Don't look so shocked, Lorelai. Tailgating was invented at Yale. 409 00:19:25,985 --> 00:19:29,056 Tailgating, like tailgating? Like a beer and a hot dog in the parking lot? 410 00:19:29,279 --> 00:19:30,871 EMILY: Walk a little faster, please. 411 00:19:31,030 --> 00:19:32,789 - Did they just say tailgating? - I think so. 412 00:19:32,947 --> 00:19:35,222 Just wanted to make sure it wasn't the fun flask talking. 413 00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:36,521 Girls? 414 00:19:40,159 --> 00:19:42,308 - So, this is tailgating. - It smells so good. 415 00:19:42,494 --> 00:19:43,893 How are you? Go, Yale. 416 00:19:44,037 --> 00:19:45,947 - Hi, I'm Lorelai. - I'm Bennie. 417 00:19:46,121 --> 00:19:49,237 Great to meet you, Bennie. Tell me about this barbecue sauce. 418 00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:52,254 Please don't harass people. Your daughter goes to this school. 419 00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:54,687 Mom, meet Bennie. This is my mother, Emily. 420 00:19:54,876 --> 00:19:56,468 We were thinking a summer wedding. 421 00:19:56,627 --> 00:19:58,697 It's nice to meet you. We're over there. 422 00:19:58,878 --> 00:20:01,346 I don't care where you are. I have found my place in life. 423 00:20:01,546 --> 00:20:03,385 - It's here, right next to the... - Oh, my God. 424 00:20:03,422 --> 00:20:04,536 - What? - Look. 425 00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:07,899 Richard, make sure he doesn't burn those. 426 00:20:08,216 --> 00:20:09,251 See you, Bennie. 427 00:20:09,384 --> 00:20:12,216 Okay, let's tailgate. I really like football. 428 00:20:16,262 --> 00:20:18,775 - How's that? - That's fine if we were in Utah. 429 00:20:18,972 --> 00:20:20,326 Message received. 430 00:20:20,682 --> 00:20:23,479 Don't keep drinking that, Richard. I'm making my bloody Marys. 431 00:20:23,683 --> 00:20:26,276 You have been working on your bloody Marys for an hour now. 432 00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:28,227 Rome wasn't built in a day. 433 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,369 Taste that, Lorelai. 434 00:20:32,938 --> 00:20:34,177 [Lorelai exclaiming in disgust] 435 00:20:34,230 --> 00:20:35,425 - Too strong? - Just a tad. 436 00:20:35,564 --> 00:20:38,634 Yeah, I'm sitting across from it and I'm looking for a lampshade to wear. 437 00:20:38,857 --> 00:20:40,616 - All right, all right. - Rory, come with me. 438 00:20:40,692 --> 00:20:42,728 I wanna introduce you to some good friends of mine. 439 00:20:42,901 --> 00:20:43,936 Sure. 440 00:20:44,278 --> 00:20:47,155 - He is so proud of that girl. - I know. 441 00:20:47,487 --> 00:20:51,036 - Sometimes that's all he can talk about. - Yeah, it's a pretty good subject. 442 00:20:51,281 --> 00:20:54,398 Gentlemen, I want to introduce you to my granddaughter, Rory... 443 00:20:54,616 --> 00:20:56,128 Class of 2007. 444 00:20:56,284 --> 00:20:59,116 So, any word from that little ex-hoodlum of hers? 445 00:20:59,411 --> 00:21:01,401 No. Jess seems to be gone for good. 446 00:21:01,578 --> 00:21:02,473 How is she? 447 00:21:02,485 --> 00:21:05,695 She's Rory. She's stoic. She's lot like Dad. 448 00:21:06,622 --> 00:21:08,101 She is, isn't she? 449 00:21:08,748 --> 00:21:11,261 And what about you? Any men sniffing around? 450 00:21:12,167 --> 00:21:14,760 - Just on trash day. - There must be someone. 451 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,712 No, no one. 452 00:21:17,086 --> 00:21:20,316 All right. Any weaker, and it would simply be tomato juice. 453 00:21:22,131 --> 00:21:24,041 - Very nice. - Yes? 454 00:21:26,383 --> 00:21:27,418 Perfect. 455 00:21:27,551 --> 00:21:29,348 - Hi. - Hi, Paris. 456 00:21:29,510 --> 00:21:32,421 - Is Rory here? - She's over there. She'll be right back. 457 00:21:32,636 --> 00:21:36,514 - Mom, do you know Paris? - She came to Rory's 16th birthday party. 458 00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:38,802 Nice to see you again. Would you like some lemonade? 459 00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:41,046 No, thank you. I won't be here long. 460 00:21:41,224 --> 00:21:42,578 Rory. Good. 461 00:21:43,225 --> 00:21:45,023 - Here. - What's this? 462 00:21:45,184 --> 00:21:47,064 - I want you to take a win-lose photo. - A what? 463 00:21:47,186 --> 00:21:49,065 A photo as if we won, and a photo as if we lost. 464 00:21:49,229 --> 00:21:50,908 That way, I have it to remember the day by. 465 00:21:51,063 --> 00:21:53,099 Why don't you wait until we win or lose? 466 00:21:53,273 --> 00:21:54,472 I'm so bored out of my mind... 467 00:21:54,523 --> 00:21:57,162 I'm thinking of transferring to Princeton just for the hell of it. 468 00:21:57,358 --> 00:22:00,474 There's no way I'll make it to the game. Take the picture so I can go home. 469 00:22:00,693 --> 00:22:02,286 Okay. We won! 470 00:22:02,819 --> 00:22:03,968 We lost. 471 00:22:04,154 --> 00:22:05,985 - We're done. - I'm out of here. 472 00:22:06,196 --> 00:22:09,312 - Hello, Paris. Join us for some food? - No, thanks, Richard. 473 00:22:09,531 --> 00:22:12,170 By the way, thanks again for introducing me to Asher Fleming. 474 00:22:12,366 --> 00:22:15,164 - Did you get your interview? - Not yet, but I'm working on it. 475 00:22:15,367 --> 00:22:17,922 I pity him if he tries to resist too long. 476 00:22:17,934 --> 00:22:18,518 So do I. 477 00:22:18,745 --> 00:22:20,098 - Bye. - Bye, Paris. 478 00:22:22,496 --> 00:22:24,327 She's an odd little duck, that one. 479 00:22:24,497 --> 00:22:27,693 - Don't I get one of those? - Well, of course you do. 480 00:22:27,917 --> 00:22:30,634 - Richard, Emily, hello. - Pennilyn. 481 00:22:30,834 --> 00:22:31,983 Nice to see you. 482 00:22:32,127 --> 00:22:33,605 - How are things? - Perfect. You? 483 00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:35,390 - Lovely. How's work? - Just fine. 484 00:22:35,545 --> 00:22:37,023 - How's Stephen? - Oh, you know. 485 00:22:37,171 --> 00:22:39,161 Our daughter, Lorelai. Our granddaughter, Rory. 486 00:22:39,339 --> 00:22:41,295 - Hello. - It's been so long. We must catch up. 487 00:22:41,465 --> 00:22:43,103 - You'll call? - Of course. 488 00:22:43,716 --> 00:22:47,504 Wait, are you Pennilyn Lott, my dad's college sweetheart? 489 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,114 - Yes. - You're my almost-mommy. 490 00:22:51,012 --> 00:22:52,684 I suppose you could put it that way. 491 00:22:52,846 --> 00:22:55,485 I'm so glad to finally meet you. Let me ask you something: 492 00:22:55,681 --> 00:22:57,318 Would you have let me get a pony? 493 00:22:57,474 --> 00:23:00,306 - I'll call you, Pennilyn. - Yes, I look forward to it. 494 00:23:00,516 --> 00:23:01,665 Bye! 495 00:23:02,352 --> 00:23:03,546 Lorelai! 496 00:23:03,936 --> 00:23:07,006 Does anything work above your neck? What were you thinking? 497 00:23:07,229 --> 00:23:09,211 I'm sorry. I was just trying to talk to her. 498 00:23:09,223 --> 00:23:10,698 We do not talk to Pennilyn Lott. 499 00:23:10,940 --> 00:23:14,135 We run into her once a year. We say "hello," "goodbye," and that is it. 500 00:23:14,358 --> 00:23:16,826 We do not have conversations, we do not talk about our lives. 501 00:23:17,026 --> 00:23:19,062 - But, Mom... - We do not joke with Pennilyn Lott. 502 00:23:19,236 --> 00:23:21,988 We do not refer to Pennilyn Lott as anything but Pennilyn Lott. 503 00:23:22,195 --> 00:23:24,583 I would appreciate you remembering that. 504 00:23:25,072 --> 00:23:27,460 Okay. Seriously, time for the fun flask. 505 00:23:30,824 --> 00:23:32,337 - Hey, Patty. - Hi, sweetie. 506 00:23:32,493 --> 00:23:33,641 - Gypsy. - Hey, Luke. 507 00:23:33,785 --> 00:23:35,064 - Rev. Skinner. - Afternoon, son. 508 00:23:35,118 --> 00:23:37,427 Kirk, I got that cheese in you like. 509 00:23:37,620 --> 00:23:38,940 - The Pepper Jack. - Pepper Jack. 510 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,467 Yes, anyway, it's in if you're coming by today. 511 00:23:41,664 --> 00:23:42,699 - Okay. - Are you? 512 00:23:42,831 --> 00:23:44,309 - Am I coming by today? - Yes. 513 00:23:44,457 --> 00:23:45,527 No, not today. 514 00:23:45,667 --> 00:23:47,975 Kirk, listen, I got that cheese just for you. 515 00:23:48,167 --> 00:23:51,124 Do not leave me with three pounds of Pepper Jack on my hands. 516 00:23:51,336 --> 00:23:52,370 I won't. 517 00:23:52,503 --> 00:23:54,622 - What are you doing here, anyway? - Standing in line. 518 00:23:54,754 --> 00:23:57,142 - Why are you standing in line? - Because I'm a follower. 519 00:23:57,339 --> 00:23:58,374 - Patty? - Yes, Luke? 520 00:23:58,507 --> 00:24:00,179 Why are all these people standing in line? 521 00:24:00,341 --> 00:24:03,855 It seemed like such a nice day for pie. 522 00:24:04,301 --> 00:24:07,019 - What's going on here? - I'm sticking to the pie story. 523 00:24:07,220 --> 00:24:09,415 - Why do you need a pie story, Kirk? - Ask Gypsy. 524 00:24:09,595 --> 00:24:11,029 Don't pawn this off on me. 525 00:24:11,180 --> 00:24:13,455 Will somebody tell me what the hell is going on here? 526 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,232 - Luke... - Sorry, Reverend. 527 00:24:15,391 --> 00:24:17,427 No, I was gonna tell you what's going on. 528 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,715 - Good. Go ahead. - We're all here for lunch. 529 00:24:19,893 --> 00:24:24,089 - Since when does Weston's serve lunch? - We're sorry, Luke. We really are. 530 00:24:24,354 --> 00:24:27,390 - Sorry about what? - About not eating at your diner anymore. 531 00:24:27,605 --> 00:24:29,402 You're not eating at my diner anymore? Why? 532 00:24:29,565 --> 00:24:31,555 - We hate the kid. - Brennon? 533 00:24:31,732 --> 00:24:33,210 Brennon, Satan, whatever. 534 00:24:33,358 --> 00:24:35,587 Don't you think you're overreacting a little? 535 00:24:35,776 --> 00:24:37,846 - He's just a kid. - A really weird kid. 536 00:24:38,027 --> 00:24:40,495 He'll be looking directly at you and start laughing. 537 00:24:40,696 --> 00:24:43,209 No one knows why. He's just there, laughing. 538 00:24:43,406 --> 00:24:46,522 He laughs? That's why you hate him? The kid laughs? 539 00:24:46,740 --> 00:24:48,935 - You'd have to hear it. - I don't believe you people. 540 00:24:49,117 --> 00:24:52,234 You've been coming to my diner for years, and now, all of a sudden... 541 00:24:52,452 --> 00:24:55,169 because I give a local kid a break, try to teach him a skill... 542 00:24:55,370 --> 00:24:58,327 give him a chance to get a little extra cash, a little independence... 543 00:24:58,539 --> 00:25:00,370 you all just up and leave? 544 00:25:00,540 --> 00:25:02,849 So he's not the most popular kid in town. 545 00:25:03,041 --> 00:25:06,555 If I remember correctly, I wasn't exactly the most popular kid in town, either. 546 00:25:06,793 --> 00:25:09,022 Yeah. But you didn't do that laughing thing. 547 00:25:09,211 --> 00:25:12,440 Whatever I did, I grew up, I got responsible. 548 00:25:12,671 --> 00:25:15,344 This town gave me a chance, and I proved them right. 549 00:25:15,548 --> 00:25:18,061 Now, you're gonna stand there and tell me that's it... 550 00:25:18,258 --> 00:25:20,532 that you've given out all the passes that you had... 551 00:25:20,717 --> 00:25:23,913 and you're not coming to my diner anymore, because you don't like Brennon? 552 00:25:24,136 --> 00:25:28,207 Well, fine. Fine! Do not come to my diner. 553 00:25:28,472 --> 00:25:32,259 From now on, every day is a nice day for pie. 554 00:25:33,891 --> 00:25:35,927 [Brennon singing loudly] 555 00:25:44,229 --> 00:25:45,867 Just give me 10 minutes. 556 00:25:50,816 --> 00:25:53,728 I think I have officially eaten a third of a cow. 557 00:25:53,985 --> 00:25:57,180 - This steak is incredible. - I'm glad you're all enjoying it. 558 00:25:57,403 --> 00:25:59,076 Lorelai, how's your steak? 559 00:25:59,905 --> 00:26:01,384 Why do you ask? 560 00:26:01,530 --> 00:26:03,248 That's it. Hand over the flask. 561 00:26:03,407 --> 00:26:05,845 I don't know what you're talking about. There's no flask here. 562 00:26:05,991 --> 00:26:07,584 What's going on over there? 563 00:26:07,743 --> 00:26:11,177 - Richard, it's Dan. - Dan? It's Dan! 564 00:26:11,495 --> 00:26:13,929 - I thought we already saw Dan. - This is the current Dan. 565 00:26:14,121 --> 00:26:16,157 - Emily, get his bone. - Got it. 566 00:26:17,039 --> 00:26:18,915 Here you go, Dan. 567 00:26:19,290 --> 00:26:22,008 Enjoy it now. I just saw your future, and it ain't good. 568 00:26:22,209 --> 00:26:23,767 MARTY: Rory, hey. 569 00:26:24,794 --> 00:26:26,067 Did you see Dan? 570 00:26:26,211 --> 00:26:29,089 You can't help it. He's everywhere today in one form or another. 571 00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:30,444 I want you to meet my mom. 572 00:26:30,588 --> 00:26:32,578 I'll distract them, and you make a run for it. 573 00:26:32,756 --> 00:26:36,668 Dan, are you listening to me? Stop eating. Your freedom's at stake here! 574 00:26:36,925 --> 00:26:38,517 - Mom? - I was just petting him. 575 00:26:38,675 --> 00:26:41,951 - I want you to meet Marty. - Naked guy! 576 00:26:42,427 --> 00:26:43,701 You told your mother about me. 577 00:26:43,845 --> 00:26:47,040 I included some anecdotes where you were actually clothed, too. 578 00:26:47,263 --> 00:26:48,333 I appreciate that. 579 00:26:48,473 --> 00:26:49,871 And who is this young man? 580 00:26:50,015 --> 00:26:52,005 This is Marty. He lives in my residence hall. 581 00:26:52,183 --> 00:26:53,775 It's very nice to meet you, Marty. 582 00:26:53,934 --> 00:26:56,447 Why did my daughter just call you "naked guy"? 583 00:26:56,644 --> 00:26:57,758 I now owe you money. 584 00:26:57,894 --> 00:27:01,170 I had an unfortunate experience with a keg and a party... 585 00:27:01,396 --> 00:27:04,147 and a need to take my clothes off and fall asleep in a hallway. 586 00:27:04,356 --> 00:27:06,710 - My goodness. - Please, that's nothing. 587 00:27:06,899 --> 00:27:09,253 I was naked an entire month my sophomore year. 588 00:27:09,442 --> 00:27:11,114 - What? - Welcome to tonight's episode... 589 00:27:11,276 --> 00:27:13,471 of "Things I never needed to know about my father." 590 00:27:13,653 --> 00:27:17,565 I and a group of like-minded young men decided to protest the new dress code... 591 00:27:17,822 --> 00:27:20,131 by wearing silk ties and nothing else. 592 00:27:20,323 --> 00:27:22,313 We were written up by the Dean of Admissions... 593 00:27:22,491 --> 00:27:23,844 and threatened with expulsion. 594 00:27:23,991 --> 00:27:26,823 We were also suddenly very popular with the ladies. 595 00:27:27,035 --> 00:27:30,230 This is exactly the kind of conversation I had hoped we would have... 596 00:27:30,453 --> 00:27:32,329 with our granddaughter and her friend. 597 00:27:32,496 --> 00:27:36,886 One night in the hallway does not a true naked guy make. 598 00:27:37,165 --> 00:27:41,396 - Would you like to eat with us, Marty? - I would love to. It looks amazing. 599 00:27:41,668 --> 00:27:45,296 But I have to go. There's a party going on over on the lawn... 600 00:27:45,545 --> 00:27:49,377 and I actually came by to see if Rory wanted to stop by for a little while. 601 00:27:49,630 --> 00:27:50,904 I can't. 602 00:27:51,048 --> 00:27:54,038 Nonsense. Of course you can go. Go visit your friends. I insist. 603 00:27:54,258 --> 00:27:55,373 Are you sure? 604 00:27:55,509 --> 00:27:57,194 We've got plenty of time before the kickoff. 605 00:27:57,218 --> 00:27:58,252 - Go. - Okay. 606 00:27:58,385 --> 00:28:01,820 - Take this with you. - Thanks. It was nice meeting you. 607 00:28:06,014 --> 00:28:08,482 - I like that boy. - Prove it. Drop your pants. 608 00:28:08,682 --> 00:28:10,195 - All right, come on. - Come on where? 609 00:28:10,350 --> 00:28:12,908 - It's time to go to the ladies' room. - It is? Was there a memo? 610 00:28:13,059 --> 00:28:17,131 It's an hour before kickoff. The lines won't be long. You'll thank me later. 611 00:28:18,062 --> 00:28:19,893 I'll meet you right outside. 612 00:28:23,315 --> 00:28:24,543 Coffee, please. 613 00:28:32,570 --> 00:28:34,243 - Here you go. - Thanks. 614 00:28:34,696 --> 00:28:35,811 Sure. 615 00:28:38,615 --> 00:28:41,127 Of course there's a line. Why wouldn't there be? 616 00:28:41,324 --> 00:28:42,924 You kind of want to hang out here anyhow. 617 00:28:42,993 --> 00:28:44,141 Why is that? 618 00:28:44,285 --> 00:28:46,044 Some woman took her 40-year-old son in there. 619 00:28:46,202 --> 00:28:47,322 - No! - He might not be 40... 620 00:28:47,411 --> 00:28:50,163 but the images he's gathering up will last him until he gets there. 621 00:28:50,371 --> 00:28:52,168 - Why do women do that? - I don't know. 622 00:28:52,330 --> 00:28:54,529 When I was growing up, there was a thing called modesty. 623 00:28:54,665 --> 00:28:56,104 I suppose that's not in fashion now. 624 00:28:56,166 --> 00:28:57,884 No. Modesty went punk. 625 00:28:58,043 --> 00:29:01,113 - So, I hear you're opening an inn. - Well, trying to. 626 00:29:01,335 --> 00:29:03,371 - That sounds very exciting. - It is. 627 00:29:03,587 --> 00:29:06,260 Pennilyn, we're just running into you all over the place. 628 00:29:06,464 --> 00:29:09,614 - Yes, you are. - It's a nice treat. Enjoy the game. 629 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,989 - Same to you. - The line's moving. 630 00:29:12,175 --> 00:29:15,723 - I'll see you later. - Yes. Let's go, Lorelai. 631 00:29:16,052 --> 00:29:18,486 Did you see the woman with the 40-year-old kid? 632 00:29:21,764 --> 00:29:23,037 Oh, Emily. Good. 633 00:29:23,181 --> 00:29:25,933 I can't remember whether it's two shakes of Tabasco or four. 634 00:29:26,140 --> 00:29:27,210 I'll do it. 635 00:29:27,350 --> 00:29:29,469 I did, however, remember how much vodka goes in there. 636 00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:32,479 - You'll have to move if I'm to make them. - But I don't want to move. 637 00:29:32,685 --> 00:29:35,244 I want to stand right here, dangerously close to my wife. 638 00:29:35,437 --> 00:29:36,472 [Men singing] 639 00:29:36,605 --> 00:29:38,003 Whiffenpoofs! 640 00:29:39,981 --> 00:29:41,459 [All singing] 641 00:29:47,611 --> 00:29:48,884 There's no celery. 642 00:29:49,028 --> 00:29:52,223 Sandy, I told you to cut enough celery for the entire day. 643 00:30:04,952 --> 00:30:07,989 - He's gonna be in so much pain tomorrow. - What is this? 644 00:30:08,205 --> 00:30:10,957 - Sandy, what is this? - It's the cookies. 645 00:30:11,165 --> 00:30:13,314 It's the cookies my granddaughter brought. 646 00:30:13,500 --> 00:30:16,536 I told you to place them on a doily, not just dump them on a plate. 647 00:30:16,751 --> 00:30:18,946 - I'm sorry. - Take them, fix them. 648 00:30:20,044 --> 00:30:21,682 And where's the celery? 649 00:30:22,629 --> 00:30:26,303 - I can get you celery, Mom. - I didn't hire you to get me celery. 650 00:30:26,547 --> 00:30:30,096 - I know, but I'm happy to help. - Sandy, I don't want to ask you again. 651 00:30:30,342 --> 00:30:32,571 - Is something wrong, Mom? - No. Nothing's wrong. 652 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,671 These are the best bloody Marys I have ever tasted. 653 00:30:35,886 --> 00:30:38,354 Emily, let's give these boys some refreshments. 654 00:30:38,554 --> 00:30:40,908 We can't give them any because we don't have any celery... 655 00:30:41,098 --> 00:30:43,486 even though I've been asking for it for the last 10 minutes. 656 00:30:43,682 --> 00:30:45,593 We can drink them without celery. 657 00:30:45,767 --> 00:30:48,803 How does Pennilyn Lott know that Lorelai's opening an inn? 658 00:30:49,018 --> 00:30:52,486 - Excuse me? - She knows that Lorelai's opening an inn. 659 00:30:52,728 --> 00:30:54,877 - How did she know? - Well... 660 00:30:55,063 --> 00:30:57,258 I didn't tell her. I don't think Lorelai told her. 661 00:30:57,439 --> 00:31:00,953 I can't remember the last time Rory and Pennilyn had a hen party. 662 00:31:01,358 --> 00:31:05,668 Once a year. That's when we talk to her, right here at the game. 663 00:31:05,944 --> 00:31:09,379 We ask about her health, her children. If Stephen's not here, we ask about him. 664 00:31:09,612 --> 00:31:12,046 - How did she know? - I told her. 665 00:31:12,739 --> 00:31:13,967 Run. 666 00:31:14,115 --> 00:31:15,150 When? 667 00:31:15,533 --> 00:31:18,001 About six months ago. We had lunch. 668 00:31:18,575 --> 00:31:20,292 - Where? - At a restaurant. 669 00:31:20,451 --> 00:31:22,566 - What restaurant? - You don't know it. 670 00:31:23,036 --> 00:31:25,275 - Why don't I know it? - Because you've never been there. 671 00:31:25,454 --> 00:31:27,603 How do you know? You don't know everything about me. 672 00:31:27,789 --> 00:31:30,541 I didn't know you were having lunch with Pennilyn Lott. 673 00:31:30,749 --> 00:31:32,788 We obviously don't know everything about each other. 674 00:31:32,917 --> 00:31:34,270 - What restaurant? - Adele's. 675 00:31:34,418 --> 00:31:35,566 I've never been there. 676 00:31:35,710 --> 00:31:38,019 We just had lunch and talked. Two old friends. 677 00:31:38,211 --> 00:31:41,918 How nice. So, after all of these years of not having lunch and not talking... 678 00:31:42,171 --> 00:31:44,366 you two decide to get together and catch up. 679 00:31:44,548 --> 00:31:45,663 Whose idea was it? 680 00:31:45,799 --> 00:31:47,835 Emily, could we discuss this in the trailer? 681 00:31:48,009 --> 00:31:49,442 We will discuss this right here. 682 00:31:49,592 --> 00:31:51,582 - Whose idea was it? - I don't know. 683 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:55,353 We've been having lunch once a year for many years. 684 00:31:55,804 --> 00:31:58,443 - It's just a little tradition. - Every year since when? 685 00:31:58,639 --> 00:32:01,436 Every year since we got married. 686 00:32:02,391 --> 00:32:06,178 Emily, please don't make this more dramatic than it has to be. 687 00:32:06,768 --> 00:32:09,327 No, I certainly wouldn't want to do that! 688 00:32:09,562 --> 00:32:11,518 Pennilyn and I are just friends. 689 00:32:11,688 --> 00:32:14,724 We just wanted to keep track of each other. That was it. 690 00:32:15,189 --> 00:32:17,464 So you've lied to me for the last 39 years. 691 00:32:17,649 --> 00:32:20,634 She didn't tell Stephen. It was only lunch. 692 00:32:20,646 --> 00:32:21,845 Only lunch, yes. 693 00:32:23,235 --> 00:32:25,908 I think you should go for a walk, Richard. 694 00:32:27,362 --> 00:32:29,194 I'll be back before the game. 695 00:32:31,406 --> 00:32:33,522 Mom, I know it was wrong... 696 00:32:33,699 --> 00:32:36,417 but I'm sure Dad just didn't want to get you upset. 697 00:32:36,618 --> 00:32:39,370 Then perhaps he shouldn't have lied to me for the last 39 years. 698 00:32:39,578 --> 00:32:41,257 That's a sure-fire way not to get me upset. 699 00:32:41,370 --> 00:32:42,962 True, but it was just lunch. 700 00:32:43,121 --> 00:32:45,157 It was lunch with Pennilyn Lott, Lorelai... 701 00:32:45,331 --> 00:32:48,607 the woman you insisted on talking to, even though I told you not to. 702 00:32:48,832 --> 00:32:50,951 - I didn't... - Your stubbornness is astounding to me. 703 00:32:51,083 --> 00:32:53,676 I asked you over and over to refrain from talking to her. 704 00:32:53,877 --> 00:32:54,912 You asked me once... 705 00:32:55,045 --> 00:32:58,001 But no, you had to push it. Now look what's happened. Are you happy? 706 00:32:58,212 --> 00:33:00,964 - Are you seriously blaming me for this? - You had to talk to her. 707 00:33:01,173 --> 00:33:03,970 - I didn't have lunch with her. Dad did. - I wouldn't have known. 708 00:33:04,174 --> 00:33:06,253 If you hadn't talked to her, I wouldn't have known... 709 00:33:06,300 --> 00:33:07,652 and everything would've been fine. 710 00:33:07,676 --> 00:33:10,746 - You'd rather be in denial about things? - Everything would have been fine. 711 00:33:10,969 --> 00:33:13,642 Dad still would have been having lunch with this woman once a year. 712 00:33:13,846 --> 00:33:15,114 You weren't even supposed to come. 713 00:33:15,138 --> 00:33:17,073 It was supposed to be your father and me and Rory. 714 00:33:17,097 --> 00:33:19,246 - You weren't supposed to come. - Okay! 715 00:33:21,058 --> 00:33:22,207 [Phone ringing] 716 00:33:23,225 --> 00:33:24,260 This is Jason Stiles. 717 00:33:25,352 --> 00:33:26,865 You still have those reservations? 718 00:33:27,354 --> 00:33:30,321 Should I... No. Gonna let it go. 719 00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:32,197 - I'll pick you up at 8:00. - Okay. 720 00:33:32,356 --> 00:33:36,632 - And wear something completely evil. - Horns, tail, and my Wolfowitz T-shirt? 721 00:33:36,900 --> 00:33:38,298 - Perfect. - Bye. 722 00:33:38,442 --> 00:33:39,477 Bye. 723 00:33:48,573 --> 00:33:50,006 Man, this place is crazy. 724 00:33:50,157 --> 00:33:53,625 You know they flew in the top prostitutes from Hong Kong to work that coat check. 725 00:33:53,867 --> 00:33:55,425 God, I hope that's true. 726 00:33:55,576 --> 00:33:58,727 Okay. Is there a star? We need a star. 727 00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:00,231 - Bingo! - What? 728 00:34:00,371 --> 00:34:01,441 Ted Koppel's here. 729 00:34:01,580 --> 00:34:02,808 - Where? - Right there. 730 00:34:02,956 --> 00:34:05,469 Oh, dear, so he really does look like that. 731 00:34:06,791 --> 00:34:08,622 The name is Stiles, for two. 732 00:34:08,792 --> 00:34:10,828 I love that Ted Koppel's here! 733 00:34:11,168 --> 00:34:12,442 Follow me. 734 00:34:13,002 --> 00:34:14,515 Look how she seats us right away. 735 00:34:14,671 --> 00:34:16,263 - You like that? - I do like that. 736 00:34:16,421 --> 00:34:17,933 If she seats us next to Ted... 737 00:34:18,089 --> 00:34:20,125 we have to make sure to become his best friends... 738 00:34:20,298 --> 00:34:22,573 so he invites us to all those famous newscaster parties. 739 00:34:22,758 --> 00:34:24,270 That sounds fabulous. 740 00:34:26,218 --> 00:34:27,652 - Miss? - Yes? 741 00:34:27,802 --> 00:34:29,475 Oh, me? Sorry. Thank you. 742 00:34:31,221 --> 00:34:32,290 Thank you. 743 00:34:33,722 --> 00:34:35,951 Your waiter will be here in a moment. 744 00:34:41,184 --> 00:34:44,414 - Nice, huh? - Yes, very nice. 745 00:34:45,436 --> 00:34:48,234 Quiet. You could hear a pin drop. 746 00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:06,956 So, how are you feeling tonight? Red, white or gin-soaked? 747 00:35:07,156 --> 00:35:08,987 - Red's good. - Red it is. 748 00:35:09,491 --> 00:35:12,209 I'm sorry, is this where we're going to eat? 749 00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:14,480 - That's right. - Oh, okay. 750 00:35:16,036 --> 00:35:19,312 - Did they run out of tables or something? - I requested this room. 751 00:35:19,538 --> 00:35:20,687 - You requested it? - Yes. 752 00:35:20,831 --> 00:35:23,219 - You asked for it on purpose? - It's hard to get this room. 753 00:35:23,416 --> 00:35:25,213 Everybody wants it, and now we've got it. 754 00:35:25,375 --> 00:35:28,729 Yes, we do. We have it. Lucky us. 755 00:35:31,503 --> 00:35:35,654 It's just that everything's kind of going on out there. 756 00:35:36,714 --> 00:35:37,943 So? 757 00:35:38,090 --> 00:35:40,888 Don't you wanna be out there, with everybody else? 758 00:35:41,091 --> 00:35:42,684 - Why? - Because it's fun. 759 00:35:42,843 --> 00:35:45,913 All the people, the noise, you can't even hear yourself think. 760 00:35:46,136 --> 00:35:48,365 But that's the point of coming to a place like this. 761 00:35:48,554 --> 00:35:52,182 I thought the point would be to enjoy the food and the atmosphere. 762 00:35:52,431 --> 00:35:55,786 Yes, but all of the atmosphere is out there. 763 00:35:57,392 --> 00:35:59,746 - You don't like the room. - No, it's... 764 00:36:00,894 --> 00:36:02,611 It is weird, you know. 765 00:36:03,228 --> 00:36:06,821 I mean, the two of us sitting all alone in here... 766 00:36:07,063 --> 00:36:10,453 I feel like we're quarantined. It's like the Ebola Room or something. 767 00:36:10,691 --> 00:36:12,761 Okay, I don't know what to do. 768 00:36:13,650 --> 00:36:15,845 Why don't we ask for a table out there? 769 00:36:16,027 --> 00:36:18,586 - The place is booked solid. - We can eat at the bar. 770 00:36:18,778 --> 00:36:20,177 - I don't eat at the bar. - Why not? 771 00:36:20,279 --> 00:36:22,110 I don't like stools. Your feet hang. 772 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:25,158 This is a fancy place. Someone will hold them. 773 00:36:25,699 --> 00:36:29,167 - Maybe we should just go. - Oh, Jason. 774 00:36:29,868 --> 00:36:32,824 No, you're uncomfortable. It's fine. Let's go. 775 00:36:33,495 --> 00:36:34,530 Ted would. 776 00:36:50,462 --> 00:36:52,771 We could go some place else. You must be starving. 777 00:36:52,963 --> 00:36:55,272 You know, I'm not. Had a lot of food today. 778 00:36:55,465 --> 00:36:56,943 Right, you tailgated. 779 00:36:57,090 --> 00:36:59,524 Okay. So, home? 780 00:37:01,218 --> 00:37:02,855 Okay, yeah. Home's fine. 781 00:37:03,010 --> 00:37:06,479 - We could try this again some other time. - Absolutely. 782 00:37:10,306 --> 00:37:12,740 - My God, I'm starving. - You just said you weren't. 783 00:37:12,933 --> 00:37:15,685 - I lied. - Good, 'cause I'm starving, too. 784 00:37:15,892 --> 00:37:19,680 - You should have said something. - Our date was dinner. It was implied. 785 00:37:19,937 --> 00:37:22,086 - Okay, next exit. - What? 786 00:37:22,270 --> 00:37:25,261 - Get off at the next exit. Do it! - Okay, doing it. 787 00:37:33,235 --> 00:37:35,828 This place, hands-down best tacos on the East Coast. 788 00:37:36,028 --> 00:37:37,825 - You're gonna be very happy. - Good to know. 789 00:37:37,987 --> 00:37:40,500 MAN: [On intercom] Welcome to Taco Barn. May I take your order? 790 00:37:40,906 --> 00:37:43,942 Two tacos, an order of taquitos, a beef burrito with no onions... 791 00:37:44,157 --> 00:37:47,148 and don't bother bagging it, that'll just slow us down. Go ahead. 792 00:37:47,368 --> 00:37:49,085 Nothing for me. 793 00:37:49,536 --> 00:37:51,651 - What? - No, nothing. Thanks. 794 00:37:52,287 --> 00:37:55,676 - You said you were starving. - Yeah, I'm just not big on Mexican food. 795 00:37:55,914 --> 00:37:58,153 Trust me, the stuff bears no resemblance to Mexican food. 796 00:37:58,290 --> 00:38:00,929 - It's okay. I'm good. - Okay. 797 00:38:01,375 --> 00:38:03,483 I'm not gonna eat if you're not gonna eat. 798 00:38:03,495 --> 00:38:04,844 What is this, junior high? 799 00:38:05,086 --> 00:38:08,281 No, I don't want to sit in a car and eat by myself. 800 00:38:08,504 --> 00:38:10,414 - Why? - Because it's not fun. 801 00:38:10,755 --> 00:38:14,269 - Does everything have to be fun for you? - When I'm on a date, yeah. 802 00:38:14,507 --> 00:38:17,578 - Please, just get the food. - No, let's go. 803 00:38:17,801 --> 00:38:20,757 - No, the tacos. You love the tacos. - I'm not hungry. 804 00:38:20,969 --> 00:38:23,608 - You are, too, hungry. - Forget it. Let's go. 805 00:38:25,763 --> 00:38:27,082 Okay, I'm going. 806 00:38:27,973 --> 00:38:29,087 MAN: Hello? 807 00:38:31,474 --> 00:38:34,625 - I told you to get the tacos. - Let's not do this again, okay? 808 00:38:34,852 --> 00:38:37,491 - I just need to eat something. - This is a supermarket. 809 00:38:37,686 --> 00:38:40,837 - I'm gonna throw my purse at you. - You have to cook anything you buy here. 810 00:38:41,063 --> 00:38:42,780 - Jason, come on. - "Come on" what? 811 00:38:42,939 --> 00:38:44,218 There are a million things here. 812 00:38:44,314 --> 00:38:47,271 There's cheese, and fruit, and chips, and a whole prepared-food section. 813 00:38:47,483 --> 00:38:50,633 Grab this basket and look. Do you want to start with the salad? 814 00:38:50,860 --> 00:38:51,930 - Okay. - Okay. 815 00:38:56,238 --> 00:38:57,797 - What did you just do? - I need razors. 816 00:38:57,947 --> 00:39:00,335 - No, this is an errand. - So? 817 00:39:00,991 --> 00:39:04,141 So? We're looking for food, and you're running errands. 818 00:39:04,367 --> 00:39:06,446 I'm a busy man. I don't have time to do these things. 819 00:39:06,618 --> 00:39:08,097 - We're on a date! - We're in a store! 820 00:39:08,244 --> 00:39:11,679 - Now I don't have to go tomorrow. - But a date isn't about convenience. 821 00:39:11,913 --> 00:39:14,949 You're not supposed to be thinking about the things you need. 822 00:39:15,165 --> 00:39:17,440 - Shoot, I'm out of toothpaste. - Grab it. 823 00:39:18,375 --> 00:39:21,013 - Where are you going? - I need hand soap. 824 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:25,349 All right. I'll grab paper towels meet you in the prepared-food section. 825 00:39:25,587 --> 00:39:28,465 - Fine. Which way is detergent? - That way. 826 00:39:33,716 --> 00:39:36,025 JASON: You need peas? 'Cause there's two for one. 827 00:39:36,217 --> 00:39:37,332 No, I'm good. 828 00:39:37,469 --> 00:39:40,107 - I'm getting you a couple anyhow. - Where are you? 829 00:39:40,303 --> 00:39:43,579 Let's see, there's Jell-O and tiny cocktail wieners. 830 00:39:43,805 --> 00:39:46,602 - I'm one aisle over. - I know. I'll be right there. 831 00:39:48,308 --> 00:39:51,742 Boy, I gotta tell you, the advice about not shopping hungry couldn't be truer. 832 00:39:51,976 --> 00:39:54,335 - Good lord, that's a lot of food. - It's not all just food. 833 00:39:54,436 --> 00:39:56,472 You won't eat fast food, but Snowballs are okay? 834 00:39:56,645 --> 00:40:00,034 - I've never eaten them. I was curious. - Pink-marshmallow-coconut balls. 835 00:40:00,272 --> 00:40:02,865 You wouldn't be curious about them? Who makes these? 836 00:40:03,066 --> 00:40:05,420 How did the decision to dye the coconut pink occur? 837 00:40:05,609 --> 00:40:07,087 Why are they shaped like a chest? 838 00:40:07,234 --> 00:40:08,713 Is there any dessert on the planet... 839 00:40:08,860 --> 00:40:10,879 - that could stimulate this much debate? - I don't know. 840 00:40:10,903 --> 00:40:12,132 What are you looking for? 841 00:40:12,279 --> 00:40:14,155 They usually have the mini size of these chips. 842 00:40:14,322 --> 00:40:15,436 Get the big one. 843 00:40:15,572 --> 00:40:18,324 I grab them as I'm leaving the house. This won't fit in my purse. 844 00:40:18,532 --> 00:40:19,885 They must have them. 845 00:40:20,033 --> 00:40:21,102 Hold on a second. 846 00:40:21,241 --> 00:40:23,480 - Where are you going? - Just watch my Snowballs, please. 847 00:40:23,576 --> 00:40:25,486 Not on the first date, mister. 848 00:40:29,788 --> 00:40:30,823 Let's go. 849 00:40:31,456 --> 00:40:32,934 - Where? - Hurry. 850 00:40:33,082 --> 00:40:36,755 WOMAN: [On loudspeaker] Number four, red line. 851 00:40:40,294 --> 00:40:42,523 - Ten minutes. - That's all we need. 852 00:40:43,921 --> 00:40:46,514 - What are we doing here? - We're looking for your chips. 853 00:40:46,714 --> 00:40:49,147 - Seriously? - This is where they keep the goods. 854 00:40:49,340 --> 00:40:51,410 How did you get the guy to let us in the back room? 855 00:40:51,591 --> 00:40:54,662 Talking people into doing things happens to be my specialty. 856 00:40:54,885 --> 00:40:58,239 Look, a time clock. Let's clock in. Do you wanna be Lucy or Jamal? 857 00:40:58,470 --> 00:41:02,507 - Either one. What were the chips you like? - Sour cream and onion. 858 00:41:04,015 --> 00:41:05,049 Got them. 859 00:41:07,141 --> 00:41:10,019 - It's just like heaven! - Here. Wanna do the honors? 860 00:41:11,811 --> 00:41:12,880 I feel so powerful. 861 00:41:13,019 --> 00:41:16,090 You're holding a knife. Being armed does that to people. 862 00:41:23,317 --> 00:41:26,034 Cap'n Crunch. I lived on Cap'n Crunch in college. 863 00:41:26,235 --> 00:41:28,305 - Cut him. - Cut Cap'n Crunch? 864 00:41:28,486 --> 00:41:29,556 That seems a bit severe. 865 00:41:29,696 --> 00:41:31,208 Trust me, he's got it coming. 866 00:41:31,363 --> 00:41:34,275 Okay, I just hope Jamal doesn't get busted for this. 867 00:41:37,408 --> 00:41:40,001 - Mac and cheese? - Yeah, please, it's delicious. 868 00:41:40,618 --> 00:41:43,654 I must say, this is a pretty nice spread we put together here. 869 00:41:43,869 --> 00:41:45,142 A little ingenuity. 870 00:41:45,286 --> 00:41:47,356 It's too bad they stop selling alcohol after 9:30. 871 00:41:47,538 --> 00:41:50,848 I mean, not that I need to be drunk to have dinner with you. 872 00:41:51,499 --> 00:41:53,852 - The fun flask! - Excuse me? 873 00:41:54,375 --> 00:41:56,604 I swiped the fun flask. 874 00:41:57,043 --> 00:42:00,000 - So, tell me something. - Yes? 875 00:42:00,211 --> 00:42:03,362 - Why'd you change your mind? - No reason. 876 00:42:04,131 --> 00:42:06,519 - You seemed to be pretty determined. - Yes, I did. 877 00:42:06,715 --> 00:42:09,024 And you had some pretty good logic backing you up. 878 00:42:09,216 --> 00:42:10,445 I always do. 879 00:42:10,592 --> 00:42:12,901 So, between the phone call where you said "no"... 880 00:42:13,093 --> 00:42:15,527 and eight hours ago, what happened? 881 00:42:17,304 --> 00:42:19,816 I went to the Harvard-Yale game with Rory and my parents. 882 00:42:20,014 --> 00:42:22,323 Yeah. That's how I get all of my girls. 883 00:42:23,391 --> 00:42:25,779 And there was this thing with my mother. 884 00:42:26,058 --> 00:42:28,049 And it just... 885 00:42:28,351 --> 00:42:31,998 Well, she was just... I thought... 886 00:42:33,646 --> 00:42:35,921 - So here we are. - So, here we are. 887 00:42:36,981 --> 00:42:38,255 Listen. 888 00:42:38,982 --> 00:42:41,053 Whatever it is your mother did today... 889 00:42:41,233 --> 00:42:44,031 do you think she might do it again tomorrow night? 890 00:42:44,527 --> 00:42:46,961 I think there's an excellent possibility. 891 00:42:47,279 --> 00:42:49,588 I'm gonna go for the giant egg rolls. Do you want one? 892 00:42:49,779 --> 00:42:52,372 Yes, please. And don't forget the hot mustard. 893 00:42:52,573 --> 00:42:53,768 [Cell phone ringing] 894 00:42:55,575 --> 00:42:57,167 - Hello? - How was it? 895 00:42:57,326 --> 00:42:59,396 - It's still going on. - Really? How dirty! 896 00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:01,806 We're at the market, drinking booze out of paper cups. 897 00:43:01,995 --> 00:43:03,223 Really? How pathetic. 898 00:43:03,370 --> 00:43:05,042 He made sure I got my potato chips. 899 00:43:05,204 --> 00:43:06,274 Really? How confusing. 900 00:43:06,955 --> 00:43:08,912 I'll explain later. How are the grandparents? 901 00:43:09,081 --> 00:43:11,390 - Not speaking. - Must have been one hell of a game. 902 00:43:11,583 --> 00:43:13,539 - I read. - Sorry I bailed. 903 00:43:13,709 --> 00:43:15,427 You owe me nothing but the gory details. 904 00:43:15,585 --> 00:43:16,905 I might like him. 905 00:43:17,045 --> 00:43:20,035 Just remember, you're sleeping with every person he's ever slept with. 906 00:43:20,254 --> 00:43:21,449 Thank you for that. 907 00:43:21,756 --> 00:43:23,109 - Call me tomorrow. - You got it.