1 00:00:50,089 --> 00:00:54,225 Okay, toothbrush, hairbrush, hypoallergenic pillow, 2 00:00:54,486 --> 00:00:56,851 chenille blanket, comfort shoes. 3 00:00:57,041 --> 00:00:58,241 Got them. 4 00:00:58,381 --> 00:01:00,591 - Those are your comfort shoes? - Not mine, Paul Anka's. 5 00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:03,133 We're staying in tonight. You can probably get away with flats. 6 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:04,842 He loves, loves, loves chewing on these. 7 00:01:04,999 --> 00:01:06,525 They remind him of a squirrel carcass. 8 00:01:06,632 --> 00:01:07,781 - Yummy. - LORELAI: Don't judge. 9 00:01:07,805 --> 00:01:09,564 You eat jerky like it's going out of style. 10 00:01:09,732 --> 00:01:12,017 So all this stuff is for Paul Anka? 11 00:01:12,203 --> 00:01:13,803 No, not all. The toothbrush is mine. 12 00:01:13,961 --> 00:01:15,036 Lorelai. 13 00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:17,104 What? It's his first night staying at your house. 14 00:01:17,270 --> 00:01:19,749 I want him to have all the stuff that makes him comfortable. 15 00:01:19,951 --> 00:01:20,990 (EXCLAIMS) Tennis balls! 16 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,723 I actually have tennis balls. 17 00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:24,287 - Penn or Wilson? - You're joking. 18 00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:25,471 Paul Anka's must be Penn. 19 00:01:25,605 --> 00:01:27,524 They must be new, they must be green. 20 00:01:27,699 --> 00:01:29,219 Not orange and green, just green. 21 00:01:29,374 --> 00:01:32,379 And FYI, you might want to watch that sarcastic tone of yours, 22 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,405 because dogs are very attuned to tone. 23 00:01:34,568 --> 00:01:37,253 It's kind of like Chinese in that respect, dog language. 24 00:01:37,458 --> 00:01:38,497 It's very tone-based. 25 00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:40,800 And you are stressing him out right now with your tone. 26 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,339 The dog is stressed? 27 00:01:42,484 --> 00:01:43,809 Look at him. 28 00:01:43,991 --> 00:01:45,270 And when he gets like this, 29 00:01:45,415 --> 00:01:48,340 you need to talk to him in sweet and dulcet tones. 30 00:01:48,556 --> 00:01:50,281 (IN BABY VOICE) Hi, Paul Anka. 31 00:01:50,441 --> 00:01:52,600 Hi, boy! Hi! 32 00:01:52,787 --> 00:01:53,987 - Get it? - Got it. 33 00:01:54,127 --> 00:01:55,647 Good. Sunglasses. 34 00:01:56,724 --> 00:01:59,454 This is not normal. I want you to know that. 35 00:01:59,655 --> 00:02:00,935 The dog wears Ferragamos? 36 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,764 Oh, please don't give him any ideas. These are mine. 37 00:02:03,969 --> 00:02:05,937 All right, let's go. You take this, this and this. 38 00:02:06,064 --> 00:02:08,109 Come on. What are you waiting for? 39 00:02:12,178 --> 00:02:13,823 (WHIMPERING) 40 00:02:13,979 --> 00:02:15,133 (DOOR SHUTS) 41 00:02:15,487 --> 00:02:16,607 (DOOR OPENS) 42 00:02:16,869 --> 00:02:18,434 Oops! Here, Paul Anka. 43 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,383 (SINGING) 44 00:03:18,437 --> 00:03:20,722 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 45 00:03:20,907 --> 00:03:21,946 Hey. 46 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,605 - LOGAN.: Hey, you watching it? - What? 47 00:03:23,629 --> 00:03:25,355 - The meteor shower. - What meteor shower? 48 00:03:25,514 --> 00:03:28,380 It was on the news. The BBC said there's some huge meteor shower tonight. 49 00:03:28,404 --> 00:03:30,004 I thought we could watch it together. 50 00:03:30,164 --> 00:03:32,454 Logan, I have been in the library for the past nine hours. 51 00:03:32,635 --> 00:03:34,454 I don't know anything about any meteor showers. 52 00:03:34,478 --> 00:03:35,835 I could use a regular shower though. 53 00:03:35,859 --> 00:03:37,665 Well, go up on the roof and check it out. 54 00:03:37,828 --> 00:03:39,233 - Now? - Yes, now! 55 00:03:39,378 --> 00:03:41,663 It's supposed to start in like two minutes. Ace! 56 00:03:41,849 --> 00:03:44,089 This is a once-in-a-lifetime celestial event. Get going. 57 00:03:44,278 --> 00:03:45,878 Okay, okay. I'm getting. I'm going. 58 00:03:46,037 --> 00:03:47,271 Are you running? 59 00:03:47,419 --> 00:03:48,859 I'm running! I'm running! 60 00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:50,930 Who knew you were such an astronomy buff? 61 00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:53,504 - Hurry! - What has gotten into you? 62 00:03:54,456 --> 00:03:55,815 Nice night. 63 00:03:56,717 --> 00:03:58,077 Oh, my God! 64 00:03:58,225 --> 00:04:00,705 You're here! What are you doing here? 65 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,760 (LAUGHING) Happy to see me? 66 00:04:02,916 --> 00:04:04,995 Beyond happy! Ecstatic! 67 00:04:05,177 --> 00:04:06,857 I can't believe you're here! 68 00:04:07,020 --> 00:04:09,499 And look at me. I'm covered in highlighter ink, 69 00:04:09,701 --> 00:04:12,272 - and I smell like Fritos and ginger ale. - It's an aphrodisiac. 70 00:04:12,465 --> 00:04:15,390 - You're here and you did all this? - You like? 71 00:04:15,607 --> 00:04:17,926 I love, but you didn't have to do this. 72 00:04:18,119 --> 00:04:20,598 I mean, you're here. It's enough. It's more than enough. 73 00:04:20,799 --> 00:04:23,404 Could you shut up now so I can kiss you? 74 00:04:25,281 --> 00:04:28,011 - So there is no meteor shower? - No meteor shower. 75 00:04:28,213 --> 00:04:29,938 So you used the entire cosmos to trick me? 76 00:04:30,098 --> 00:04:31,778 I like to think big. 77 00:04:32,024 --> 00:04:34,754 So what is going on? Why are you here? 78 00:04:34,956 --> 00:04:37,435 I'm kissing my girlfriend on the roof. 79 00:04:38,516 --> 00:04:39,956 But why? 80 00:04:40,107 --> 00:04:43,158 The Fritos and ginger ale thing. I told you, huge turn-on. 81 00:04:45,176 --> 00:04:46,250 Explain yourself. 82 00:04:46,390 --> 00:04:47,957 I'm just here for a quick business trip. 83 00:04:47,981 --> 00:04:49,021 - How quick? - Too quick. 84 00:04:49,154 --> 00:04:50,158 How quick is too quick? 85 00:04:50,285 --> 00:04:52,684 I have a 10:00 flight back to London tomorrow night. 86 00:04:52,882 --> 00:04:54,241 Oh, that is too quick. 87 00:04:54,390 --> 00:04:56,435 That Web site my team has been trying to buy, 88 00:04:56,609 --> 00:04:59,517 the owners finally agreed to sit down, talk to us tomorrow over breakfast. 89 00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:01,381 Logan! That's great, right? 90 00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:03,664 I mean, three weeks ago, they weren't even taking your calls. 91 00:05:03,688 --> 00:05:07,824 It is great. However, not as exciting as kissing my girlfriend on the roof. 92 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,841 So what's that amazing smell? 93 00:05:12,985 --> 00:05:14,985 - Food from Ibiza. - The island? 94 00:05:15,163 --> 00:05:16,969 The tapas place downtown. 95 00:05:17,131 --> 00:05:19,371 - Oh, did you get the duck? - I did. 96 00:05:19,561 --> 00:05:22,085 - And the short ribs? - Yes. And... 97 00:05:22,535 --> 00:05:24,980 (EXCLAIMS) A 2003 red something. 98 00:05:25,173 --> 00:05:28,098 Oh, I bet it's very oaky and corky and full of fruity legs. 99 00:05:28,314 --> 00:05:30,929 - Know a lot about wine, do you? - Not so much, but the label's pretty. 100 00:05:30,953 --> 00:05:34,004 There's also gazpacho, that cheese-pie thing you love, plus flan. 101 00:05:34,220 --> 00:05:36,185 Oh, flan! You got me flan? 102 00:05:36,355 --> 00:05:37,882 Doesn't take much to make you happy, does it? 103 00:05:37,906 --> 00:05:40,225 Not when you're on this continent. 104 00:05:42,135 --> 00:05:44,908 Okay, why don't you open this wine? I want to taste those fruity legs. 105 00:05:45,068 --> 00:05:47,717 And I'll make you a plate with extra flan. 106 00:05:47,729 --> 00:05:48,152 Okay. 107 00:05:48,376 --> 00:05:50,342 (EXCLAIMS) I'm so glad you're here! 108 00:05:51,475 --> 00:05:55,646 (TV BEEPING) 109 00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:58,957 Stop! You're killing my TiVo. 110 00:05:59,140 --> 00:06:01,871 I'm not killing it. I'm composing on it. I'm composing a symphony. 111 00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:04,017 - Finally, an instrument I can play. - Give me that. 112 00:06:04,041 --> 00:06:05,160 - No, no, no! - Give me! 113 00:06:05,297 --> 00:06:07,262 - Not until you explain your choices. - What? 114 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:10,517 The View? Girlfriends? Sábado gigante? 115 00:06:10,741 --> 00:06:13,312 Who controls this thing, you or Pedro Almodóvar? 116 00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:15,711 - It's the nanny. - Sure, it's a likely story. 117 00:06:15,893 --> 00:06:17,252 Give me, give me, give me. 118 00:06:17,401 --> 00:06:19,001 - Did G.G. get to sleep okay? - She did. 119 00:06:19,159 --> 00:06:21,858 I tried to skip straight to the end of Cinderella, but she wouldn't let me. 120 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,201 It's my own fault. My wicked stepsister voice kills. 121 00:06:24,395 --> 00:06:26,280 She's amazing, you know? 122 00:06:27,326 --> 00:06:28,846 That reminds me. 123 00:06:29,547 --> 00:06:33,237 Oh, no! You're not gonna show me some of her art, are you? 124 00:06:33,484 --> 00:06:35,177 I never know what to say in those situations. 125 00:06:35,201 --> 00:06:37,120 I mean, even when it was Rory's art, you know? 126 00:06:37,295 --> 00:06:40,826 Three blue finger-smudges and some construction paper. 127 00:06:41,065 --> 00:06:42,744 It's not precocious. It's just messy. 128 00:06:42,907 --> 00:06:46,552 Here. This came a couple of days ago. It's from Sherry. 129 00:06:46,802 --> 00:06:47,807 From Sherry? 130 00:06:47,933 --> 00:06:50,548 Yeah, it's the first I've heard from her since the divorce was final. 131 00:06:50,572 --> 00:06:53,942 - Go ahead, read it. - Wow, how Dangerous Liaisons of her. 132 00:06:54,173 --> 00:06:55,364 She doesn't call. She doesn't e-mail. 133 00:06:55,388 --> 00:06:57,387 Then she sends you a letter with a wax seal 134 00:06:57,566 --> 00:06:59,852 that weighs roughly the same as a porterhouse? 135 00:07:00,037 --> 00:07:02,037 Well, she had a lot to say. 136 00:07:02,592 --> 00:07:06,237 - Gosh. It's a lot of sorry. - Yeah, 15 pages worth. 137 00:07:06,487 --> 00:07:08,087 Believe me, I was not expecting this. 138 00:07:08,247 --> 00:07:10,646 Humility is not a side of Sherry I've ever seen before. 139 00:07:10,842 --> 00:07:14,293 I don't know if it's the yoga, or the yoga instructor, or... 140 00:07:14,529 --> 00:07:15,568 Yoga instructor? 141 00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:18,786 Yeah, she's dating her yoga instructor, Jean-Claude or Jean-Pierre, 142 00:07:19,010 --> 00:07:20,451 one of those names that always sounds fake. 143 00:07:20,475 --> 00:07:22,681 Anyway, it sounds like she's really changed. 144 00:07:22,863 --> 00:07:25,388 She feels awful about what happened, running away like that. 145 00:07:25,586 --> 00:07:27,655 And she wants to find a way to be part of G.G.'s life again. 146 00:07:27,679 --> 00:07:29,405 - Honey, that's great. - Right? 147 00:07:29,564 --> 00:07:30,604 Yeah. 148 00:07:31,281 --> 00:07:33,806 So you got this two days ago and you're showing it to me now? 149 00:07:34,004 --> 00:07:35,822 Well, I was gonna show it to you a couple of days ago, 150 00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:37,654 but then I figured you were coming over, so... 151 00:07:37,773 --> 00:07:38,927 No, I'm not criticizing. 152 00:07:39,072 --> 00:07:41,267 - You're not? - No, I'm complimenting. Badly, obviously. 153 00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:43,656 But I'm complimenting. You shared it with me. 154 00:07:43,847 --> 00:07:46,980 Well, I kind of thought that was how the whole adult relationship thing worked. 155 00:07:47,071 --> 00:07:49,836 - You know, openness, honesty. - Interesting. 156 00:07:50,044 --> 00:07:52,855 And you're sure you don't want to stash it away somewhere, 157 00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:55,256 and then I find it accidentally, of course, months from now, 158 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,978 and I get all weird and insecure about why you didn't show it to me sooner? 159 00:07:58,002 --> 00:08:01,852 - I'm good with the sharing. - All right. It's another way to go. 160 00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:06,726 (MAN CHATTERING ON TV) 161 00:08:06,924 --> 00:08:10,979 (IN WICKED STEPSISTER VOICE) That glass slipper will fit my foot. 162 00:08:12,536 --> 00:08:15,906 - That was my wicked stepsister voice. - Yeah, I figured. 163 00:08:22,923 --> 00:08:24,489 I'm so happy. 164 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:25,840 Me, too. 165 00:08:26,944 --> 00:08:28,783 You know you can't do this in London? 166 00:08:28,954 --> 00:08:31,959 The city lights are so bright, you almost never see the stars. 167 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,744 Yeah, but it's London. 168 00:08:33,896 --> 00:08:35,050 (GROANS) 169 00:08:35,194 --> 00:08:37,113 Wait, are you tired of London? 170 00:08:37,289 --> 00:08:39,288 I'm tired of not being around you. 171 00:08:39,508 --> 00:08:41,667 Yeah, but you can't be tired of London. 172 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:44,905 Samuel Johnson said when you're tired of London, you're tired of life. 173 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,851 Obviously, the man was never in a long-distance relationship. 174 00:08:48,053 --> 00:08:50,817 That's true. Boswell did keep quite close. 175 00:08:52,911 --> 00:08:54,236 - What are you doing? - Nothing. 176 00:08:54,377 --> 00:08:56,064 Are you trying to sneak a peek at my watch? 177 00:08:56,177 --> 00:08:59,388 Well, I just can't believe it. I can't believe you're here. 178 00:08:59,612 --> 00:09:04,228 And I can't believe that you're leaving in only 26 hours and 45 minutes. 179 00:09:04,512 --> 00:09:07,123 Come on, think positive, that's an entire lifetime to a fruit fly. 180 00:09:07,277 --> 00:09:08,802 Actually, you're thinking of a mayfly. 181 00:09:08,826 --> 00:09:10,226 Fruit flies can live for up to a month. 182 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,098 So what do you think? Can you stay for a month? 183 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,330 I mean, what if your meeting tomorrow goes really, really well? 184 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,428 I hope it does. 185 00:09:15,569 --> 00:09:16,803 It will. It's a great idea. 186 00:09:16,951 --> 00:09:19,796 - It's basically MySpace. - But by invitation only. 187 00:09:20,009 --> 00:09:22,330 And it'll be like an online version of the Algonquin group, 188 00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:23,629 like throwing a party in your head 189 00:09:23,653 --> 00:09:25,782 where everyone you've ever wanted to talk to is there, 190 00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:28,355 Ira Glass, Sofia Coppola, Flaubert, Danger Mouse. 191 00:09:28,553 --> 00:09:30,278 The deal's not done yet, far from it. 192 00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,004 These guys aren't just gonna hand over their Web site 193 00:09:32,028 --> 00:09:33,433 because we buy them breakfast. 194 00:09:33,579 --> 00:09:37,350 They might. Tell them that they can order pancakes and eggs. 195 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,719 Don't make them choose. 196 00:09:38,856 --> 00:09:41,987 Sausage, bacon, fruit, potatoes, let them get the whole combo. 197 00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:44,528 'Cause then they will have to sell it to you. It'd be rude not to. 198 00:09:44,552 --> 00:09:45,992 You are a business genius, Ace. 199 00:09:46,143 --> 00:09:47,670 Well, I'm taking econ with my grandpa. 200 00:09:47,818 --> 00:09:49,817 Well, whatever happens, we'll be ready. 201 00:09:49,996 --> 00:09:52,761 We've been working our asses off on this one. Nick, Bobby, Philip... 202 00:09:52,971 --> 00:09:55,781 Oh, yes, Philip, Nick, Bobby. The team, starting lineup. 203 00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:59,117 It is a classic win-win. They give us a foothold in new media. 204 00:09:59,336 --> 00:10:01,505 We give them a huge influx of capital, which they need. 205 00:10:01,556 --> 00:10:04,087 Believe me, when it comes to debt versus equity, they're screwed. 206 00:10:04,111 --> 00:10:06,476 They have no liquidity, huge expenses, zero revenue. 207 00:10:06,666 --> 00:10:10,516 I mean, the target advertising potential alone... What? What are you staring at? 208 00:10:10,771 --> 00:10:13,010 You, Mr. "Debt Versus Equity." 209 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,851 - Are you mocking me? - Yeah, but I like it. 210 00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:19,372 Tell me more about this targeted advertising potential. 211 00:10:19,607 --> 00:10:22,299 Well, what do you want to know? There's pay-per-click, pay-per-lead, 212 00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:24,014 banner ads, pixel taggings. 213 00:10:24,172 --> 00:10:25,817 Oh, stop. I'm getting weak at the knees. 214 00:10:25,974 --> 00:10:27,253 (LOGAN LAUGHING) 215 00:10:31,795 --> 00:10:32,949 Logan? 216 00:10:33,597 --> 00:10:35,324 (SHUSHING) Go back to sleep. It's only 6:00. 217 00:10:35,355 --> 00:10:36,634 In the morning? 218 00:10:36,780 --> 00:10:39,259 Yes, in the morning. Go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you. 219 00:10:39,460 --> 00:10:41,031 Hey, where you going? Come back here. 220 00:10:41,043 --> 00:10:42,830 I can't. I promised Nick, Bobby and Philip 221 00:10:43,062 --> 00:10:44,755 I'd meet up with them for breakfast before the pitch. 222 00:10:44,779 --> 00:10:46,137 I thought the pitch was at breakfast. 223 00:10:46,161 --> 00:10:47,854 It is, but we can't just walk in there unprepared. 224 00:10:47,878 --> 00:10:50,810 We gotta go over our notes, talk strategy. It's a pre-breakfast breakfast. 225 00:10:50,978 --> 00:10:52,839 - Work dork. - Did you just call me a work dork? 226 00:10:52,863 --> 00:10:54,630 Admit it. Just admit that you're a work dork. 227 00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:57,865 I'll admit that I'm a work dork if you admit that you love that I'm a work dork. 228 00:10:57,889 --> 00:11:00,413 - Done. - Now I really have to go. 229 00:11:00,611 --> 00:11:02,220 Hey, I have ways of making you stay, you know. 230 00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:04,368 I know, I know, but take pity on me, please. 231 00:11:04,547 --> 00:11:06,274 After work, I promise I'm all yours. Dinner? 232 00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:08,346 Is it a pre-dinner dinner or a real dinner? 233 00:11:08,358 --> 00:11:09,642 As many dinners as you want. 234 00:11:09,866 --> 00:11:12,437 Man, I can't believe we've wasted four-and-a-half hours on sleep. 235 00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,191 What are we down to now, like 15 hours? 236 00:11:14,348 --> 00:11:16,634 Rory, I'm actually gonna need both arms for this pitch. 237 00:11:16,819 --> 00:11:18,219 Okay, I'll let go. Just one more kiss. 238 00:11:18,243 --> 00:11:20,402 - I don't believe you. - Try me. 239 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,319 - Hey! No fair! - I'll call you later. 240 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,600 - Work dork! - Work dork lover. 241 00:11:28,546 --> 00:11:30,671 (SNIFFING) 242 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,689 You need a tissue? Oh, God, what is that? 243 00:11:34,870 --> 00:11:36,230 I don't know, but it's horrible. 244 00:11:36,379 --> 00:11:38,778 Oh, it is. It's foul. It's like rotten cabbage. 245 00:11:38,974 --> 00:11:42,140 Or with a dense but subtle undertones of olives and tar... 246 00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:44,940 There's nothing subtle about it. It's like a sledgehammer to the nose. 247 00:11:44,964 --> 00:11:46,804 SOOKIE: Oh, my God! What is that? 248 00:11:46,975 --> 00:11:49,660 - It's not coming from the kitchen? - Bite your tongue. 249 00:11:49,865 --> 00:11:51,892 (GASPS) Wait, are we having heart attacks right now? 250 00:11:51,916 --> 00:11:54,112 Isn't smelling something strange the first sign of a heart attack? 251 00:11:54,136 --> 00:11:56,416 I don't think we're having a communal massive heart attack. 252 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:57,640 - Carcasses. - What? 253 00:11:57,781 --> 00:11:59,227 Those strange, angry-looking guests. 254 00:11:59,371 --> 00:12:01,525 I'm sure they are traveling with decaying animal flesh. 255 00:12:01,549 --> 00:12:03,914 Yeah, 'cause that's the most logical explanation. 256 00:12:04,104 --> 00:12:06,677 I'm just gonna open a window, see if we can air it out a little bit. 257 00:12:06,701 --> 00:12:07,935 No, no, no! 258 00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:10,208 - Close it! Close it! Close it! - Damn it... 259 00:12:10,387 --> 00:12:11,587 So glad we tried that. 260 00:12:11,727 --> 00:12:13,755 All right, I'm going out there to see what's causing this. 261 00:12:13,779 --> 00:12:15,298 - Out there? - Are you crazy? 262 00:12:15,454 --> 00:12:17,734 Maybe, but the sooner we can find out what's causing this, 263 00:12:17,758 --> 00:12:19,917 the sooner we can run like hell to less stinky ground. 264 00:12:20,103 --> 00:12:22,022 - Well, I'm coming with you then! - Me, too! 265 00:12:22,197 --> 00:12:25,411 Let's hang for a minute. If she makes it to the end of the block, we'll join her. 266 00:12:25,590 --> 00:12:27,075 - Michel! - What? 267 00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:28,929 Fine. 268 00:12:29,067 --> 00:12:30,071 (MICHEL COUGHING) 269 00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:31,857 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 270 00:12:31,998 --> 00:12:33,883 LORELAI: Kirk, where's everybody going? 271 00:12:34,050 --> 00:12:36,736 KIRK: Taylor called an emergency town meeting. Not sure why. 272 00:12:36,940 --> 00:12:39,911 The smell, Kirk. The horrible, horrible smell. 273 00:12:40,124 --> 00:12:42,809 Really? I just don't think it's that bad. 274 00:12:43,097 --> 00:12:44,582 Well, come on, let's go. 275 00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:46,490 No. You know what? On second thought, 276 00:12:46,657 --> 00:12:48,896 I'd rather smell this smell for the rest of my life 277 00:12:49,086 --> 00:12:51,610 - than see Luke at a town meeting. - Oh, honey. 278 00:12:51,808 --> 00:12:54,539 It's okay. I'll go back to the inn. I'll be fine. 279 00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:57,551 Just call me when you want me to pick you up. 280 00:13:00,017 --> 00:13:00,651 Finally! 281 00:13:00,663 --> 00:13:03,502 It's about time, Taylor! We're dying here. 282 00:13:03,745 --> 00:13:06,396 I assure you, no one is dying. 283 00:13:06,593 --> 00:13:10,568 The substance causing this odor is not toxic in any way, shape or form. 284 00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:12,789 - It's pickles. - That's no pickle! 285 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,358 Pickle? What, one giant pickle? 286 00:13:15,556 --> 00:13:16,710 Order! 287 00:13:17,441 --> 00:13:20,366 As those of you who take an interest in civic events may recall, 288 00:13:20,582 --> 00:13:24,387 three days ago a train derailed just east of town. Luckily, no one was injured. 289 00:13:24,645 --> 00:13:27,889 However, three-and-a-half tons of pickles and pickle brine 290 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,560 were scattered along the tracks. 291 00:13:29,712 --> 00:13:33,003 And due to some inevitable delays in cleanup, 292 00:13:33,231 --> 00:13:35,882 those pickles have been baking in the sun for three days. 293 00:13:36,078 --> 00:13:38,158 (PEOPLE EXCLAIMING) 294 00:13:38,340 --> 00:13:40,625 - And you knew about this? - It's a cover-up. 295 00:13:40,811 --> 00:13:42,936 We got Picklegate. 296 00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:45,480 I did know about it, but it wasn't a problem 297 00:13:45,669 --> 00:13:48,034 until this morning when the wind shifted. 298 00:13:48,224 --> 00:13:52,280 And instead of wafting easterly toward our neighbors in Woodbridge, 299 00:13:52,538 --> 00:13:56,103 the smell seems to have settled on Stars Hollow. 300 00:13:56,350 --> 00:13:58,874 Now, there's no telling how long it will last. 301 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,076 (ALL GROANING) 302 00:14:00,203 --> 00:14:02,362 What? People are suffering here. 303 00:14:02,548 --> 00:14:05,393 How long does it take to pick up a few measly pickles? 304 00:14:05,605 --> 00:14:09,455 Picking up the pickles is not my main concern at the moment. 305 00:14:10,171 --> 00:14:13,816 Now, this is a matter of pride, people. 306 00:14:14,066 --> 00:14:16,191 A huge principle is at stake. 307 00:14:16,830 --> 00:14:19,354 There's absolutely no reason why we here in Stars Hollow 308 00:14:19,552 --> 00:14:21,757 should take responsibility for this mess. 309 00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:25,390 - The pickles themselves hail from Ohio. - Ohio? 310 00:14:25,625 --> 00:14:28,366 TAYLOR: The railroad company is incorporated in the state of Delaware. 311 00:14:28,390 --> 00:14:31,715 And since all the pickles are on the Woodbridge side of the tracks... 312 00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:34,189 Just pick up the damn pickles, Taylor! 313 00:14:34,379 --> 00:14:35,704 (ALL EXCLAIMING IN AGREEMENT) 314 00:14:35,845 --> 00:14:37,925 Easier said than done. 315 00:14:38,106 --> 00:14:40,392 Even if we wanted to do the wrong thing 316 00:14:40,578 --> 00:14:46,679 and assume fiscal responsibility for this fiasco, the cost is astronomical. 317 00:14:47,027 --> 00:14:49,792 - $2,500 to... - Sold! 318 00:14:50,001 --> 00:14:51,726 - Done! - Pay, you big cheapskate! 319 00:14:51,886 --> 00:14:53,005 - Yeah! - ALL: Yeah! 320 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,216 Fine! 321 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:58,710 All those in favor of Stars Hollow taking a swift kick to the tush 322 00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:00,849 and shouldering the entire cost of... 323 00:15:01,017 --> 00:15:03,827 ALL: Aye! 324 00:15:04,032 --> 00:15:07,083 Very well. Motion carried. 325 00:15:07,299 --> 00:15:10,063 Pickle smell gone in 48 hours, 326 00:15:10,272 --> 00:15:13,277 along with everything good about Stars Hollow. 327 00:15:17,686 --> 00:15:19,766 LORELAI: Breathe that in. Isn't that fantastic? 328 00:15:19,947 --> 00:15:22,267 Forgot what fresh, pickle-less air smells like. 329 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,669 Oh, so you coming over to my neck of the woods for lunch 330 00:15:24,848 --> 00:15:27,693 is really no reflection on how desperately you needed to see me? 331 00:15:27,904 --> 00:15:31,070 10% desperate need to see you, 90% pickles. 332 00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,498 (CHUCKLES) 333 00:15:32,637 --> 00:15:35,087 You know, I'm actually looking forward to Friday night dinner. 334 00:15:35,193 --> 00:15:37,192 Because, as you well know, the Gilmore house, 335 00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:40,101 like very expensive vodka, is completely odorless. 336 00:15:40,302 --> 00:15:41,708 And you still want me to come with? 337 00:15:41,851 --> 00:15:43,657 Yes, you, me, Rory. Numbers, babe. 338 00:15:43,821 --> 00:15:47,191 G.G., no. Skirt down! G.G.! 339 00:15:47,967 --> 00:15:49,935 You may want to look into the whole skort concept. 340 00:15:50,103 --> 00:15:52,582 Hey, so I spoke with Sherry this morning. 341 00:15:52,783 --> 00:15:54,189 Oh, yeah. What's the deal with her? 342 00:15:54,332 --> 00:15:57,258 Well, first she and G.G. spoke for almost half an hour. 343 00:15:57,474 --> 00:15:59,586 That's as long as you can do anything when you're four. 344 00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:02,090 And then she and I talked. I thanked her for the letter. 345 00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:03,696 She said everything in it was true. 346 00:16:03,757 --> 00:16:06,076 She's totally serious about this new life thing. 347 00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:08,920 No more workaholic ways. She's gardening and meditating. 348 00:16:09,117 --> 00:16:11,768 All kinds of stuff. She's very self-actualized. 349 00:16:11,966 --> 00:16:14,490 - Her words, not mine. - Good for her. 350 00:16:14,688 --> 00:16:16,893 And the big news is, she wants me to send G.G. 351 00:16:17,075 --> 00:16:18,936 to Paris to stay with her for a couple of months. 352 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:19,999 Wow. 353 00:16:20,133 --> 00:16:22,703 Yeah, wow. I mean, I know it seems kind of sudden, 354 00:16:22,897 --> 00:16:25,050 but Sherry's taken this huge leave of absence from work, 355 00:16:25,074 --> 00:16:27,439 and G.G. got so excited. I mean, why not, right? 356 00:16:27,630 --> 00:16:29,277 She's not in school yet, just pre-school, 357 00:16:29,305 --> 00:16:31,166 and, you know, she needs to get to know her mother sometime. 358 00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:33,954 No, hey! G.G., that's too high! Careful! 359 00:16:35,043 --> 00:16:38,733 So, what... Would you go to Paris with her? 360 00:16:38,980 --> 00:16:41,825 No, I was thinking the nanny could take her. She's dying to go. 361 00:16:42,037 --> 00:16:44,116 I mean, it's Paris, right? She's 25 years old. 362 00:16:44,298 --> 00:16:46,104 It's a chance of a lifetime. 363 00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:48,347 Yeah, sure. 364 00:16:48,487 --> 00:16:52,051 No! Hey, G.G., no, don't pick that up! I'll be right back. 365 00:16:52,341 --> 00:16:54,066 (CHILDREN SHOUTING) 366 00:16:54,224 --> 00:16:55,584 (SIGHING) 367 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,639 - You can't put Paris in charge. - She can and she should. 368 00:16:59,837 --> 00:17:01,907 Guys, I just need someone to get the paper out tonight. 369 00:17:01,931 --> 00:17:04,294 Doesn't matter who. I just want the chain of command to be clear. 370 00:17:04,318 --> 00:17:06,078 When the editor-in-chief isn't here, 371 00:17:06,245 --> 00:17:07,520 the managing editor's in charge. 372 00:17:07,544 --> 00:17:10,355 That's standard operating procedure at every newspaper in the country. 373 00:17:10,559 --> 00:17:13,929 Yes, but I've done this a thousand times, and you've never done it, Bill. 374 00:17:14,161 --> 00:17:16,812 - Experience. - Experience that led to a mutiny. 375 00:17:17,009 --> 00:17:18,660 It's not like anyone ever gave Captain Bligh 376 00:17:18,684 --> 00:17:20,124 another ship after the Bounty. 377 00:17:20,276 --> 00:17:21,921 Of course they did, multiple ships, 378 00:17:22,076 --> 00:17:24,566 and by the time he died, they promoted the guy to rear admiral. 379 00:17:24,590 --> 00:17:27,401 Do you think the British Royal Navy ruled the world in the 19th century 380 00:17:27,605 --> 00:17:30,497 by letting that much natural talent and leadership capability go to waste 381 00:17:30,663 --> 00:17:33,828 just because a few whiny complainers wanted more breadfruit and less scurvy? 382 00:17:34,055 --> 00:17:36,214 Tell me you're not seriously considering this. 383 00:17:36,401 --> 00:17:38,320 The bunker. Do you not remember the bunker? 384 00:17:38,495 --> 00:17:40,654 I hardly see how my choice of workplace is relevant. 385 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:44,896 There was an insurrection, a revolt, an uprising. She was deposed. 386 00:17:45,154 --> 00:17:48,020 See how wordy he is? He overwrites. Plus he's always been weak with gerunds. 387 00:17:48,044 --> 00:17:49,084 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 388 00:17:49,216 --> 00:17:50,416 Sorry. 389 00:17:50,724 --> 00:17:52,501 Look, could you guys take this somewhere else? 390 00:17:52,525 --> 00:17:54,125 Fine. Let's go to my desk. 391 00:17:54,284 --> 00:17:57,209 Your desk? Right, like I'm actually going to cede home-court advantage. 392 00:17:57,425 --> 00:17:59,310 Oh, for God's sake. 393 00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:01,237 - Hey! - LOGAN.: We did it, Ace! 394 00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:02,890 - We bought the company! - What? 395 00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:04,563 It's crazy, we were just supposed to have breakfast. 396 00:18:04,587 --> 00:18:06,239 The next thing I know, we're sitting there with lawyers, 397 00:18:06,263 --> 00:18:07,302 going over contracts. 398 00:18:07,436 --> 00:18:09,721 - Logan, that's amazing. - I know! 399 00:18:09,906 --> 00:18:11,714 Was it all because of my breakfast-combo idea? 400 00:18:11,833 --> 00:18:13,558 I'm pretty sure that's what sealed it. 401 00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:15,286 So will you come celebrate with me tonight? 402 00:18:15,310 --> 00:18:16,589 I already cleared my schedule. 403 00:18:16,734 --> 00:18:20,218 Great! I'll send a car. Tonight, you'll be dining with a captain of industry. 404 00:18:20,461 --> 00:18:23,353 - Wow, do you get to wear a uniform? - I'll have to check the fine print. 405 00:18:23,434 --> 00:18:26,360 - Go home, get dressed. I'll see you soon. - Aye, aye, Captain. 406 00:18:26,575 --> 00:18:29,227 Cancel? Well, I would say that depends. 407 00:18:29,424 --> 00:18:31,664 What exactly is your feeling about pickles? 408 00:18:31,853 --> 00:18:35,259 Yes, pickles. Gherkins, dills. 409 00:18:35,497 --> 00:18:38,388 For instance, if all the air around you smelled like pickles 410 00:18:38,596 --> 00:18:42,572 and there was no place to run, no place to hide, would you find that bothersome? 411 00:18:42,826 --> 00:18:44,266 Michel, help. Let me in. 412 00:18:44,418 --> 00:18:46,463 No, that is not a metaphor. 413 00:18:46,638 --> 00:18:48,557 Yes, perhaps it would be better 414 00:18:48,732 --> 00:18:51,256 if you checked in tomorrow night. Goodbye. 415 00:18:51,454 --> 00:18:54,824 Michel, it's getting in my pores! My pores are pickling! 416 00:18:57,150 --> 00:18:58,997 Sorry, I didn't mean to get you out of surgery. 417 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:00,600 Oh, mock the mask if you wish. 418 00:19:00,752 --> 00:19:02,077 Oh, I will. 419 00:19:02,218 --> 00:19:05,222 (COUGHS) One is never too careful with toxic pollutants in the air. 420 00:19:05,443 --> 00:19:07,763 - Michel, it's just pickles. - Oh, so they say! 421 00:19:07,956 --> 00:19:10,195 Has anyone ever seen these pickles? 422 00:19:10,385 --> 00:19:12,473 Who's to say this is not some sort of chemical weapon 423 00:19:12,647 --> 00:19:14,575 the government is testing on us behind our backs? 424 00:19:14,657 --> 00:19:15,662 That's a cheery thought. 425 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:18,074 I have much scarier scenarios if you want to hear them. 426 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:19,858 Yeah, maybe later. 427 00:19:21,567 --> 00:19:22,606 Hey. 428 00:19:22,740 --> 00:19:25,791 Wow, the smell is amazingly not terrible in here. What'd you do? 429 00:19:26,008 --> 00:19:27,172 Well, after the town meeting, 430 00:19:27,305 --> 00:19:30,470 I decided to make some baked apples with cinnamon and nutmeg. 431 00:19:30,698 --> 00:19:33,543 - This is apples and cinnamon? - The apples failed me. 432 00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,801 I mean, a terrifically famous smell, right? 433 00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:38,454 A powerful tool in the hands of a real-estate agent. 434 00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,060 Against the pickles, powerless. 435 00:19:40,206 --> 00:19:41,440 What is it? It makes me happy. 436 00:19:41,587 --> 00:19:45,072 When the apples failed, I tried cheeses and breads and chocolates. 437 00:19:45,315 --> 00:19:47,395 But nothing could mask the power of the pickles. 438 00:19:47,576 --> 00:19:49,144 You know, I think my sense of smell is ruined. 439 00:19:49,168 --> 00:19:50,568 The insides of my nose are burned out. 440 00:19:50,592 --> 00:19:54,316 Then I decided if you can't beat them, join them. Embrace the pickle! 441 00:19:54,571 --> 00:19:56,419 - Milton Berle, it smells like? - Milton Berle? 442 00:19:56,540 --> 00:19:58,107 Are you saying my kitchen smells like Milton Berle? 443 00:19:58,131 --> 00:20:01,136 Milton Berle, Broadway Danny Rose, Carnegie Deli. 444 00:20:02,445 --> 00:20:03,850 - Pastrami. - Pastrami! 445 00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,730 You want a sandwich? I'll make you a sandwich. 446 00:20:05,754 --> 00:20:07,530 - No, thanks. - You sure? I've got pumpernickel. 447 00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:10,079 I've got rye. I've got this really nice mustard. 448 00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:12,402 I've even got Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray Soda in the fridge. 449 00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:14,985 No, I filled up on Lunchables in the park with Chris and G.G. 450 00:20:15,009 --> 00:20:16,209 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 451 00:20:16,350 --> 00:20:19,001 - Lunchables, huh? - Don't judge what you do not understand. 452 00:20:19,198 --> 00:20:21,643 So, Friday afternoon in the park with Christopher, huh? 453 00:20:21,837 --> 00:20:23,996 Yeah. You know, I think I will have one. 454 00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:26,461 Soda that tastes like vegetables, who would have thunk it? 455 00:20:26,485 --> 00:20:28,252 Hey, this kind of weird thing happened today. 456 00:20:28,412 --> 00:20:29,451 Oh, yeah? 457 00:20:29,585 --> 00:20:32,358 So apparently, Sherry is trying to get back in touch with Christopher. 458 00:20:32,475 --> 00:20:33,994 Sherry, ex-wife Sherry? 459 00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:37,155 Sherry, "Abandoned her baby to go live the life of a bon vivant" Sherry? 460 00:20:37,375 --> 00:20:39,613 The very one. She wrote him a letter. "Mea culpa. Mea culpa." 461 00:20:39,637 --> 00:20:41,122 She's learned the error of her ways. 462 00:20:41,270 --> 00:20:42,754 She wants to get back in touch with G.G. 463 00:20:42,778 --> 00:20:44,806 Translation, she wants to get back with Christopher. 464 00:20:44,830 --> 00:20:46,481 No, I don't think so. She's dating someone. 465 00:20:46,505 --> 00:20:48,796 She's doing Downward Dog with some French yoga instructor. 466 00:20:48,851 --> 00:20:51,822 Sherry? "Mani/pedi twice a week" Sherry is doing yoga? 467 00:20:52,034 --> 00:20:53,760 Allegedly. Who knows? 468 00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:56,763 But then Chris went on about sending G.G. to Paris 469 00:20:56,976 --> 00:21:00,061 with this 20-year-old nanny so that G.G. can reconnect with her mom. 470 00:21:00,285 --> 00:21:02,604 - And you told him that's insane. - No. 471 00:21:02,798 --> 00:21:04,478 - What? Why not? - I don't know. 472 00:21:04,641 --> 00:21:06,292 Not saying what I think is not what I'm known for, 473 00:21:06,316 --> 00:21:08,441 - if you know what I mean. - No! No, I don't... 474 00:21:08,619 --> 00:21:11,067 It's not what you're known for. It's what you're not known for. 475 00:21:11,091 --> 00:21:14,541 I mean, you're not what you're not. 476 00:21:14,776 --> 00:21:16,616 - You're usually quite frank. - I know. 477 00:21:16,786 --> 00:21:19,437 It sounds like you're not quite comfortable talking to Christopher. 478 00:21:19,593 --> 00:21:21,752 - That's the thing, I am. - Well, then why didn't you? 479 00:21:21,938 --> 00:21:23,673 Because in my head, I wasn't talking to Christopher. 480 00:21:23,697 --> 00:21:25,097 I mean, in the park, I was talking to Christopher, 481 00:21:25,121 --> 00:21:26,607 but in my head I was talking to Luke. 482 00:21:26,713 --> 00:21:28,837 Oh, honey, of course you were. 483 00:21:29,016 --> 00:21:32,067 No, I don't mean it like I missed him. I mean it like, 484 00:21:32,283 --> 00:21:36,258 Luke is the one who didn't want me getting involved in his kid's life, not Chris. 485 00:21:36,513 --> 00:21:39,644 Chris is open to what I think. Chris is open to me. 486 00:21:39,948 --> 00:21:42,758 - Christopher is not Luke. - Don't "Christopher is not Luke." 487 00:21:42,963 --> 00:21:44,771 Why aren't all nutritious things in soda form? 488 00:21:44,890 --> 00:21:45,930 It's a good question. 489 00:21:46,062 --> 00:21:47,923 I'd swear I would eat my vegetables if only they were fizzy. 490 00:21:47,947 --> 00:21:48,951 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 491 00:21:49,078 --> 00:21:50,563 Yay, Rory! Hello? 492 00:21:50,711 --> 00:21:53,682 - Hey, what's going on? - Well, Stars Hollow smells like pickles. 493 00:21:53,895 --> 00:21:54,899 - Pickles? - Pickles. 494 00:21:55,025 --> 00:21:56,944 - Pickles-pickles? Why? - Pickles. 495 00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:58,524 Because a pickle train crashed. 496 00:21:58,670 --> 00:22:01,640 Is this a joke? Is this a long, boring joke that I'm not going to get? 497 00:22:01,852 --> 00:22:03,587 No. It's no joke. The town smells like pickles 498 00:22:03,611 --> 00:22:05,053 because a pickle train was derailed. 499 00:22:05,077 --> 00:22:07,327 A train full of pickles? Who knew there was such a thing? 500 00:22:07,464 --> 00:22:09,909 Well, pickle-train conductors, for one. Sounds so fun. 501 00:22:10,103 --> 00:22:11,880 I would've been the greatest pickle-train conductor. 502 00:22:11,904 --> 00:22:14,383 Can you see me? All "all aboard, you pickles!" 503 00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:17,155 - Clearly you missed your calling. - Well, luckily there's you. 504 00:22:17,349 --> 00:22:20,322 You're young, you're clever. You're our great pickle-train conducting hope. 505 00:22:20,448 --> 00:22:21,765 I can't believe I'm missing this. 506 00:22:21,789 --> 00:22:23,775 Well, you can celebrate next year on the anniversary. 507 00:22:23,799 --> 00:22:24,964 Now what's going on with you? 508 00:22:25,013 --> 00:22:27,085 Well, I can't make it to Friday night dinner 509 00:22:27,097 --> 00:22:28,943 tonight, but I have a very good excuse. 510 00:22:29,201 --> 00:22:31,407 - Pickle-train conducting seminar? - Logan's in town. 511 00:22:31,588 --> 00:22:32,742 - (GASPS) No way! - Yeah. 512 00:22:32,887 --> 00:22:34,815 He showed up last night. It was a total surprise. 513 00:22:34,856 --> 00:22:37,177 I can't believe you let me go on and on about pickle-train conducting 514 00:22:37,201 --> 00:22:38,240 when you had actual news. 515 00:22:38,374 --> 00:22:40,738 You had news. Stars Hollow smells like pickles. 516 00:22:40,928 --> 00:22:44,459 I can completely see that scrolling along the CNN crawl. 517 00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:48,151 Logan in town is totally pre-pickle news. How long is he here for? 518 00:22:48,383 --> 00:22:50,383 Six-and-a-half more hours. He flew in yesterday, 519 00:22:50,561 --> 00:22:52,570 bought a company, and he's flying back out tonight. 520 00:22:52,614 --> 00:22:53,972 Oh, my God. Well, what are you guys gonna do 521 00:22:53,996 --> 00:22:55,481 with your precious remaining hours? 522 00:22:55,629 --> 00:22:56,989 - Or don't I want to know? - Mom! 523 00:22:57,137 --> 00:22:59,741 Well, because you might be farming rutabagas or something, 524 00:22:59,943 --> 00:23:01,943 and I wouldn't want to know, 'cause boring! 525 00:23:02,121 --> 00:23:04,520 Well, tonight I'm meeting him in Manhattan to celebrate. 526 00:23:04,718 --> 00:23:05,952 Fancy restaurant? 527 00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:07,334 Rutabaga farm, actually. 528 00:23:07,482 --> 00:23:08,673 Oh, but I'm sorry about dinner. 529 00:23:08,697 --> 00:23:10,683 I did not mean to abandon you in your time of need. 530 00:23:10,707 --> 00:23:13,559 No worries, I'm not gonna be totally defenseless. I'm bringing your dad. 531 00:23:13,639 --> 00:23:14,965 Really? Wow! 532 00:23:15,104 --> 00:23:17,229 Yeah, thought it was time he meet the parents. 533 00:23:17,408 --> 00:23:19,133 Okay, that is pre-pickle news, my friend. 534 00:23:19,293 --> 00:23:21,338 Oh, this conversation's been a disaster, hasn't it? 535 00:23:21,513 --> 00:23:22,953 - Yes, it has. - All right. 536 00:23:23,105 --> 00:23:26,109 - (IMITATES PHONE) Hi, Rory. How are you? - Hi, Mom. Logan's in town. 537 00:23:26,329 --> 00:23:28,214 Oh, my goodness. That's wonderful. 538 00:23:28,382 --> 00:23:31,273 - We're farming rutabagas. - Oh, you're a filthy child. 539 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,605 I will disown you. Bringing your father to dinner. 540 00:23:33,784 --> 00:23:36,064 Pickles, pickles, pickles, smell, pickle-train conducting. 541 00:23:36,088 --> 00:23:37,528 - Alas, alack. - Good talk. 542 00:23:37,679 --> 00:23:39,164 - The best. - Bye. 543 00:23:39,396 --> 00:23:40,631 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 544 00:23:40,779 --> 00:23:43,784 - Good evening, can I take that? - Thank you. 545 00:23:44,255 --> 00:23:46,414 I'm just meeting someone. 546 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,171 - Ahoy, my captain of industry. - Ace! 547 00:23:49,365 --> 00:23:51,090 Hey, where is your uniform? 548 00:23:51,250 --> 00:23:53,215 I was expecting the whole works, 549 00:23:53,386 --> 00:23:56,000 with spiffy hat, shiny shoes, epaulets with scrambled eggs on them. 550 00:23:56,024 --> 00:23:57,927 Scrambled eggs on my clothes? What you must think of me. 551 00:23:57,951 --> 00:23:59,151 - You look gorgeous. - Thanks. 552 00:23:59,291 --> 00:24:01,661 Though I was hoping you'd wear a nice little sailor's middy. 553 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,041 - You'd look so cute in a middy. - Oh, I'd love to wear a middy. 554 00:24:04,065 --> 00:24:06,178 And a little sailor hat, like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. 555 00:24:06,202 --> 00:24:08,681 Because who doesn't want to date a giant humanoid marshmallow? 556 00:24:08,882 --> 00:24:10,607 I'm so proud of you. 557 00:24:10,935 --> 00:24:12,339 Come on. Our table's over here. 558 00:24:12,484 --> 00:24:13,604 Okay. 559 00:24:14,788 --> 00:24:16,836 Everybody, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Rory. 560 00:24:16,923 --> 00:24:18,969 - Such a pleasure, Rory. I'm Nick. - Hi. 561 00:24:19,143 --> 00:24:20,627 - And this is Philip. - Nice to meet you. 562 00:24:20,651 --> 00:24:21,690 You, too. 563 00:24:21,824 --> 00:24:23,823 And I'm Bobby. So, so glad you could join us. 564 00:24:24,002 --> 00:24:25,887 Bobby. Yeah, me, too. 565 00:24:26,053 --> 00:24:28,293 I'm so glad I could make it. How are you? 566 00:24:28,483 --> 00:24:31,087 I'm brilliant, actually. We've had quite a day. 567 00:24:31,289 --> 00:24:32,857 Shall we order another bottle of champers, boys? 568 00:24:32,881 --> 00:24:34,880 - Absolutely. - Good. I'm parched. Do you drink? 569 00:24:35,059 --> 00:24:37,139 What? Yeah, sure. 570 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:38,324 Here. Sit, sit. 571 00:24:38,451 --> 00:24:41,066 Food, food. Let's please get food. I haven't eaten since the waffles. 572 00:24:41,090 --> 00:24:43,956 - Good God, did you actually eat those? - PHILIP: It would've been rude not to. 573 00:24:43,980 --> 00:24:45,421 NICK: You eat anything. You astound me. 574 00:24:45,445 --> 00:24:46,762 LOGAN: You're like a human garbage disposal. 575 00:24:46,786 --> 00:24:48,785 BOBBY: It's appalling, Philip. Really, it is. 576 00:24:48,964 --> 00:24:50,279 You know what you should do? You should go on 577 00:24:50,303 --> 00:24:53,354 one of those American reality TV series and showcase your talents. 578 00:24:53,571 --> 00:24:56,335 There were these huge waffles at the breakfast this morning. 579 00:24:56,544 --> 00:24:58,224 And Philip ate them. I'm catching on. 580 00:24:58,387 --> 00:24:59,703 NICK: Logan, I know we're celebrating, 581 00:24:59,727 --> 00:25:01,546 but I'm concerned about our budget for this project 582 00:25:01,570 --> 00:25:03,215 from a strictly economic perspective. 583 00:25:03,372 --> 00:25:05,862 Do we really want to blow everything on feeding Philip tonight? 584 00:25:05,967 --> 00:25:07,647 Somebody's got to crunch the numbers. 585 00:25:07,811 --> 00:25:09,630 It's true. The numbers do not crunch themselves. 586 00:25:09,654 --> 00:25:12,224 Ergo, the number cruncher must be fed. 587 00:25:13,632 --> 00:25:15,721 - So, Rory, I've heard so much about you! - Oh, yeah? 588 00:25:15,810 --> 00:25:17,376 Logan has talked my ear off about you. 589 00:25:17,527 --> 00:25:19,207 Oh, yeah, yeah. Me, too. 590 00:25:19,370 --> 00:25:21,335 He's talked my ear off about you and all of you. 591 00:25:21,506 --> 00:25:23,985 I mean, I'm practically van Gogh from my earless-ness. 592 00:25:24,187 --> 00:25:26,838 Did we order champagne yet? Logan, your girlfriend must be parched. 593 00:25:26,951 --> 00:25:29,649 Oh, excuse me, miss. I think we'd like another bottle over here, please. 594 00:25:29,673 --> 00:25:32,117 PHILIP: Oh, and bring another bread plate. 595 00:25:32,129 --> 00:25:33,129 You're amazing. 596 00:25:33,317 --> 00:25:35,236 NICK: Ridiculous. PHILIP: I'm hungry. 597 00:25:38,175 --> 00:25:39,250 (18 AND LIFE PLAYING) 598 00:25:39,390 --> 00:25:41,150 Oh, no. 599 00:25:41,316 --> 00:25:42,916 You know my rule about hair bands. 600 00:25:43,076 --> 00:25:44,721 My car, my tunes. 601 00:25:45,254 --> 00:25:47,093 Really? You're gonna say "tunes"? 602 00:25:47,264 --> 00:25:48,749 You got a lot of rules, lady. 603 00:25:48,898 --> 00:25:51,662 Not a lot. It's just no saying "killer," no saying "whack," 604 00:25:51,871 --> 00:25:54,636 no saying "rocking" or "pimping" or "slamming," capisci? 605 00:25:54,845 --> 00:25:55,884 Fo' shizzle. 606 00:25:56,018 --> 00:25:57,946 There's got to be an eject button here somewhere. 607 00:25:58,028 --> 00:26:00,507 How's this for an idea? Weekend away, just the two of us? 608 00:26:00,708 --> 00:26:03,839 That's great for an idea. Oh, oh, I know the perfect place. 609 00:26:04,059 --> 00:26:06,710 Don't say Dollywood. Please, don't say Dollywood. 610 00:26:06,907 --> 00:26:09,112 - The Ice Hotel. - The what? 611 00:26:09,294 --> 00:26:11,945 The Ice Hotel. It's amazing. I read about it in the travel section. 612 00:26:12,143 --> 00:26:14,915 It's a hotel totally made of ice. The roof is ice. The floors are ice. 613 00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:17,389 The tables are ice. The chairs are ice. Chandeliers are ice. 614 00:26:17,587 --> 00:26:19,155 I think I'm beginning to get the picture. 615 00:26:19,179 --> 00:26:22,312 Wouldn't it be amazing if you went down the hall and the ice machine was empty? 616 00:26:22,403 --> 00:26:25,088 - It is amazing. - Amazingly cold. 617 00:26:25,293 --> 00:26:27,498 No. You get to wear parkas and fur hats. 618 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:28,834 "Get to"? 619 00:26:28,979 --> 00:26:31,269 And you sleep under reindeer skins. You eat reindeer meat. 620 00:26:31,450 --> 00:26:34,454 - Again, "get to"? - You drink vodka. That's a good "get to." 621 00:26:34,675 --> 00:26:38,240 Hey, how's this for an idea? We can drink vodka in Bermuda. 622 00:26:38,571 --> 00:26:40,935 The Ice Hotel in Bermuda would totally melt. 623 00:26:41,125 --> 00:26:43,171 We'll do two weekends away. First the Ice Hotel. 624 00:26:43,344 --> 00:26:45,031 Then once we've been treated for frostbite 625 00:26:45,146 --> 00:26:46,913 and had our stomachs pumped of reindeer meat, 626 00:26:47,031 --> 00:26:48,996 we'll go defrost on a beach somewhere. 627 00:26:49,167 --> 00:26:53,656 I mean, we've got the time. G.G.'s gonna be in Paris for a couple of months. 628 00:26:55,365 --> 00:26:57,293 What? You're not down with the whole beach thing? 629 00:26:57,334 --> 00:27:01,584 No, it's more the whole Paris thing. 630 00:27:01,941 --> 00:27:03,141 Yes? 631 00:27:03,909 --> 00:27:05,269 I'm just... 632 00:27:05,417 --> 00:27:08,982 I'm not sure it's such a good idea that G.G. goes to Paris. 633 00:27:10,024 --> 00:27:11,224 Meaning? 634 00:27:11,364 --> 00:27:13,489 Well, she's only four years old. 635 00:27:13,667 --> 00:27:15,747 She barely even knows Sherry. 636 00:27:16,515 --> 00:27:18,115 Yeah, but Sherry's her mother. 637 00:27:18,275 --> 00:27:19,955 A mother she hasn't seen in two years. 638 00:27:20,117 --> 00:27:22,567 Look, Sherry's doing really well. I mean, you read her letter. 639 00:27:22,714 --> 00:27:24,919 And I think I've been doing a really good job with G.G. 640 00:27:25,102 --> 00:27:28,187 - Oh, honey. Amazing. - But it's hard, you know? 641 00:27:28,411 --> 00:27:31,496 It's really hard, and G.G. needs her mom. 642 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,579 And if I can help bring them both back together, 643 00:27:33,603 --> 00:27:35,488 I want to do that. I have to do that. 644 00:27:35,656 --> 00:27:37,655 I know, and I get that. I just... 645 00:27:38,253 --> 00:27:40,868 I think maybe you should put a little more thought into it, you know, 646 00:27:40,892 --> 00:27:43,131 before you send a toddler on an airplane 647 00:27:43,321 --> 00:27:45,891 with an 18-year-old nanny who's totally psyched to go to France. 648 00:27:46,085 --> 00:27:48,690 - The nanny's 25. - Oh, oh, okay, then. 649 00:27:48,891 --> 00:27:50,810 Like the nanny's really your problem here. 650 00:27:50,985 --> 00:27:53,144 Well, I mean, it's not an un-problem, you know? 651 00:27:53,330 --> 00:27:56,415 I think you should just consider it more carefully or maybe go yourself. 652 00:27:56,639 --> 00:27:58,158 Look, I read her letter. 653 00:27:58,314 --> 00:28:01,445 Oh, my God! Enough. Enough with the letter already. 654 00:28:04,220 --> 00:28:05,785 CHRISTOPHER: I get it. 655 00:28:06,062 --> 00:28:07,262 LORELAI: What do you get? 656 00:28:07,403 --> 00:28:09,096 This is about you being threatened by Sherry. 657 00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:11,599 - No. No. Give me a break. - You never liked her. 658 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,494 No, I didn't, but I don't like the new mailman either, 659 00:28:13,518 --> 00:28:15,797 doesn't mean I'm threatened by him. That's not what this is about. 660 00:28:15,821 --> 00:28:18,220 This is about me thinking I could speak openly and honestly 661 00:28:18,418 --> 00:28:20,863 about my concerns without getting freaked out on. 662 00:28:21,057 --> 00:28:22,497 Nice. Real nice. 663 00:28:22,648 --> 00:28:25,340 - Honey, what is going on with you? - What's going on with you, Lor? 664 00:28:25,538 --> 00:28:28,429 Look, can we drop this, please, and try and have a nice evening? 665 00:28:28,637 --> 00:28:30,042 It's dropped. 666 00:28:30,439 --> 00:28:33,203 Well, hello, hello! Richard, they're here. 667 00:28:33,622 --> 00:28:35,222 Don't you two look marvelous? 668 00:28:35,380 --> 00:28:38,351 Well, don't just stand there. Come in, come in. 669 00:28:40,784 --> 00:28:42,943 It was the way he kept saying intellectual property. 670 00:28:43,129 --> 00:28:44,235 Each time he said it, I could just feel 671 00:28:44,259 --> 00:28:45,492 the whole deal just slipping through our fingers. 672 00:28:45,516 --> 00:28:47,962 He was like, "Intellectual property. Intellectual property." 673 00:28:48,154 --> 00:28:50,154 Which is like, "My property, my property." 674 00:28:50,332 --> 00:28:52,780 - BOBBY: "I invented it. I invented it." - "We won't sell. We won't sell." 675 00:28:52,804 --> 00:28:54,163 And it's slipping, slipping. 676 00:28:54,311 --> 00:28:57,387 And I'm looking at Nick trying to convey through subtle dilations of my pupils 677 00:28:57,411 --> 00:28:59,136 that we simply cannot offer any more money. 678 00:28:59,296 --> 00:29:01,304 And I'm looking at Philip who's looking at me like, 679 00:29:01,389 --> 00:29:03,835 like he's hopped up on some sort of methamphetamine. 680 00:29:04,028 --> 00:29:06,508 Slipping, slipping, and it looks like we lost him. 681 00:29:06,709 --> 00:29:09,360 - And then Bobby. - Bobby makes a bold choice. 682 00:29:09,556 --> 00:29:10,999 - What does she do? - She just stands up. 683 00:29:11,023 --> 00:29:12,381 - NICK: She does? - She just stands up! 684 00:29:12,405 --> 00:29:13,810 - Wow. - She just stands up 685 00:29:13,955 --> 00:29:15,061 like she can't take it anymore, 686 00:29:15,085 --> 00:29:17,051 and she says, "Meeting's over, boys." 687 00:29:17,221 --> 00:29:19,267 - That must have been crazy. - It was amazing. 688 00:29:19,442 --> 00:29:22,046 I'm sitting here, and she's here, and she stands up. 689 00:29:22,247 --> 00:29:24,487 And I look over, and all I see is legs, legs, legs. 690 00:29:24,676 --> 00:29:27,201 And then this look on her face like, "Oh, no." 691 00:29:27,399 --> 00:29:29,487 - PHILIP: It was brilliant! - Do it, Bobby. Stand up. 692 00:29:29,577 --> 00:29:31,706 - Knock it off. - Come on, Bobby. You got to see this. 693 00:29:31,838 --> 00:29:33,072 - But we insist. - Please? 694 00:29:33,221 --> 00:29:35,620 Fine. But just to shut you lot up. 695 00:29:35,859 --> 00:29:38,144 I suppose it was something like, 696 00:29:40,676 --> 00:29:41,795 "Meeting's over, boys." 697 00:29:41,932 --> 00:29:42,971 (CHEERING) 698 00:29:43,105 --> 00:29:44,864 Well done! Well done! 699 00:29:45,031 --> 00:29:46,265 LOGAN: Amazing, huh? 700 00:29:46,414 --> 00:29:48,219 - We need another bottle! - And dessert. 701 00:29:48,382 --> 00:29:49,907 Don't we need a little sweet or something? 702 00:29:49,931 --> 00:29:52,379 So, Rory, we've barely had the opportunity to speak all night. 703 00:29:52,403 --> 00:29:53,442 I know. 704 00:29:53,575 --> 00:29:55,143 - How's school? What's your major? - English. 705 00:29:55,167 --> 00:29:56,733 Oh, God, how fantastic. 706 00:29:56,884 --> 00:29:59,415 I swear when I was at Oxford, I did nothing but read literature. 707 00:29:59,607 --> 00:30:01,011 It was such a luxury. 708 00:30:01,156 --> 00:30:03,761 - That's one way to look at it. - Oh, I long for those days. 709 00:30:03,963 --> 00:30:06,854 - Just reading books, thinking. - I do like thinking. 710 00:30:07,062 --> 00:30:08,168 BOBBY: Well, enjoy it while it lasts. 711 00:30:08,192 --> 00:30:09,677 Before you know it, you'll be out in the real world 712 00:30:09,701 --> 00:30:10,891 with the rest of us poor sods. 713 00:30:10,915 --> 00:30:12,481 Seems like you manage to have some fun. 714 00:30:12,548 --> 00:30:15,954 Well, Logan is a big part of that. He is such a laugh. 715 00:30:16,192 --> 00:30:18,351 He's actually a lot more serious than you might think. 716 00:30:18,537 --> 00:30:22,468 It probably takes a long time to get to know that side of him, the serious side. 717 00:30:22,726 --> 00:30:25,617 - Oh, you two are so adorable. - Thanks. 718 00:30:25,825 --> 00:30:28,355 Hey, not so fast! We're still working on getting the next round. 719 00:30:28,506 --> 00:30:30,186 Another sloe gin fizz, please. 720 00:30:30,348 --> 00:30:32,959 Oh, and don't get too excited, fellows. I'm just going to the loo. 721 00:30:33,154 --> 00:30:35,999 - Yes! That's it! - Amazing. Magnificent. 722 00:30:36,212 --> 00:30:37,251 We fold, we fold. 723 00:30:37,385 --> 00:30:38,617 Thank you, thank you very much. 724 00:30:38,641 --> 00:30:42,206 And feel free to say all sorts of cheeky things about me while I'm gone. 725 00:30:42,453 --> 00:30:45,618 - Isn't she a riot? - Hilarious. 726 00:30:46,557 --> 00:30:49,448 Well, naturally, I thought they were referring to the archduke. 727 00:30:49,656 --> 00:30:51,461 So I jumped in, as who wouldn't, 728 00:30:51,625 --> 00:30:53,834 with some thoughts about the various conspiracy theories 729 00:30:53,928 --> 00:30:57,059 surrounding his infamous assassination in Sarajevo. 730 00:30:57,488 --> 00:30:59,728 Imagine my surprise when I learned that Franz Ferdinand 731 00:30:59,917 --> 00:31:02,316 was the name of a very popular rock-'n'-roll band. 732 00:31:02,514 --> 00:31:03,954 (EMILY LAUGHING) 733 00:31:04,106 --> 00:31:07,078 That's what he gets for trying to fraternize after class with his students. 734 00:31:07,247 --> 00:31:10,092 One of them even offered to burn a CD for me. 735 00:31:11,142 --> 00:31:13,462 - EMILY: So, tell me. How are the salads? - Good, Mom. 736 00:31:13,654 --> 00:31:16,100 - I like the pear. - Do you? I'm so glad. 737 00:31:16,293 --> 00:31:17,413 RICHARD: Tastes very fresh. 738 00:31:17,550 --> 00:31:20,201 Well, pears this time of year can dress up any salad. 739 00:31:20,398 --> 00:31:22,397 Oh, Richard, did you tell them about midterms? 740 00:31:22,576 --> 00:31:24,575 Lorelai, did your father mention midterms? 741 00:31:24,754 --> 00:31:26,559 No, he didn't. How were midterms, Dad? 742 00:31:26,722 --> 00:31:28,374 RICHARD: Well, as you know, midterms separate 743 00:31:28,398 --> 00:31:29,437 the wheat from the chaff. 744 00:31:29,570 --> 00:31:32,017 Although, I don't actually have to grade any of their papers or tests. 745 00:31:32,041 --> 00:31:33,926 They have these marvelous teaching assistants 746 00:31:34,093 --> 00:31:36,779 that handle all that sort of things for you. 747 00:31:36,984 --> 00:31:38,023 Thank you, Hildegard. 748 00:31:38,156 --> 00:31:40,848 Christopher, I hope you like Iamb. When I found out you were coming, 749 00:31:40,879 --> 00:31:42,684 I decided we had to serve something special. 750 00:31:42,847 --> 00:31:44,572 And to me, "special" means Iamb. 751 00:31:44,732 --> 00:31:47,556 Oh, it just makes me so happy to see the two of you sitting here together. 752 00:31:47,580 --> 00:31:50,265 - It's such fun. - It's very nice to be here. 753 00:31:50,470 --> 00:31:52,150 - Tennis! - Emily? 754 00:31:52,312 --> 00:31:54,508 That's one of the things we can do together as a foursome, 755 00:31:54,532 --> 00:31:56,772 now that Lorelai and Christopher are an item. 756 00:31:56,962 --> 00:31:59,361 RICHARD: That's right. We do need new people for doubles. 757 00:31:59,558 --> 00:32:01,558 We've been playing with that awful Bunny Ferguson 758 00:32:01,735 --> 00:32:03,380 and her husband, whatever his name is. 759 00:32:03,537 --> 00:32:06,108 - They are dreadful. - The way Bunny Ferguson grunts. 760 00:32:06,301 --> 00:32:08,952 Oh, I mean, it's one thing if you're Maria Sharapova 761 00:32:09,149 --> 00:32:12,360 and you're 120 pounds and a 7' blonde teenager. 762 00:32:12,584 --> 00:32:14,823 - But if you're 5'3"... - And 53. 763 00:32:15,013 --> 00:32:16,372 And wearing plaid. 764 00:32:16,521 --> 00:32:18,931 Did you see that skirt she wore the last time we played them? 765 00:32:18,991 --> 00:32:22,202 I can only think that it was designed to cause some sort of optic mis-function. 766 00:32:22,425 --> 00:32:25,077 So then you'll play with us? Lorelai? 767 00:32:25,693 --> 00:32:27,418 - Yes, fine, great. - It's a date. 768 00:32:27,578 --> 00:32:30,389 How does the Saturday after next work for everyone? 769 00:32:30,593 --> 00:32:33,039 - Sure. - EMILY: Ah, here's the Iamb. 770 00:32:33,231 --> 00:32:35,962 You do like Iamb, Christopher? I'm afraid I never let you answer. 771 00:32:36,164 --> 00:32:39,008 I do. The funny thing is, I never did when I was a kid, but I do now. 772 00:32:39,220 --> 00:32:40,546 I guess I've changed. 773 00:32:40,686 --> 00:32:43,417 - People do that sometimes. - EMILY: That is so true. 774 00:32:43,619 --> 00:32:45,904 What a clever observation. It's like you and radishes. 775 00:32:46,090 --> 00:32:47,129 Exactly. 776 00:32:47,262 --> 00:32:49,500 Your father used to hate radishes, thought they were disgusting. 777 00:32:49,524 --> 00:32:51,683 Well, they are roots. It's a little unappealing. 778 00:32:51,869 --> 00:32:55,514 And then one summer in Aspen, he fell off a horse and suddenly he loved radishes. 779 00:32:55,764 --> 00:32:57,331 That whole summer, he was radish-crazy. 780 00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,965 It's true. I do like radishes to this day. 781 00:33:00,162 --> 00:33:01,762 - That's funny. - EMILY: Isn't it? 782 00:33:01,921 --> 00:33:03,486 Yes. I don't like radishes. 783 00:33:03,638 --> 00:33:05,763 I guess it's because I find them threatening. 784 00:33:05,941 --> 00:33:08,994 - EMILY: What a peculiar thing to say. - Well, radishes are a peculiar topic. 785 00:33:09,167 --> 00:33:10,321 RICHARD: All right. 786 00:33:10,465 --> 00:33:14,681 Since this is a special occasion of sorts, I should like to propose a toast. 787 00:33:14,947 --> 00:33:18,397 To many more nights like this, and to Lorelai and Christopher. 788 00:33:18,632 --> 00:33:20,357 Who knew 20-some-odd years ago 789 00:33:20,517 --> 00:33:22,962 that we would be making dates to play doubles tennis? 790 00:33:23,156 --> 00:33:25,361 And bridge. You absolutely have to join us for bridge. 791 00:33:25,543 --> 00:33:27,632 RICHARD: You two have come a long way since your days 792 00:33:27,804 --> 00:33:29,804 of rebellious youth, shall we say? 793 00:33:29,982 --> 00:33:32,908 - Derelicts. The word is derelicts. - RICHARD: Emily! 794 00:33:33,124 --> 00:33:35,123 To Lorelai and Christopher. 795 00:33:39,783 --> 00:33:41,829 They were derelicts. It's true. 796 00:33:42,002 --> 00:33:45,408 Remember when they stole that bottle of wine you'd been saving for 15 years? 797 00:33:45,647 --> 00:33:48,491 Well, 10 years. It was a '75 Margaux. 798 00:33:48,704 --> 00:33:50,606 And of course, they had no idea how to use a corkscrew, 799 00:33:50,630 --> 00:33:52,398 so they just cracked the top off with a brick 800 00:33:52,432 --> 00:33:54,351 and slurped what they could off the patio. 801 00:33:54,526 --> 00:33:55,674 RICHARD: And look at them now. 802 00:33:55,698 --> 00:33:58,864 All grown up and drinking very nicely out of glasses. 803 00:33:59,090 --> 00:34:02,381 - I need to see you in the bathroom. - Fine. Excuse me. 804 00:34:12,326 --> 00:34:13,935 Would you mind telling me what the hell... 805 00:34:13,959 --> 00:34:15,319 - You're not Sherry. - Excuse me? 806 00:34:15,467 --> 00:34:17,866 - You've changed, Chris. - What are you talking about? 807 00:34:18,063 --> 00:34:19,903 Maybe we were derelicts back then. 808 00:34:20,074 --> 00:34:22,999 But we were 16. We were just kids. You were just a kid. 809 00:34:23,215 --> 00:34:25,786 - So? - So you leaving Rory when you were 16 810 00:34:25,979 --> 00:34:28,344 is not at all the same as Sherry, a grown woman, 811 00:34:28,534 --> 00:34:30,099 packing up and leaving G.G. 812 00:34:30,251 --> 00:34:31,610 So I get why you were upset with me. 813 00:34:31,634 --> 00:34:34,878 Because when I'm criticizing Sherry, you feel like I'm criticizing you. 814 00:34:35,110 --> 00:34:36,595 But I wasn't. I'm not. 815 00:34:36,743 --> 00:34:39,348 You've changed. You're not 16. You're not a kid. 816 00:34:39,550 --> 00:34:40,955 You're not Sherry. I get it. 817 00:34:41,099 --> 00:34:43,064 Wow, you get it. That's great, Lor. 818 00:34:43,235 --> 00:34:45,555 Thanks for telling me how I feel. 819 00:34:50,271 --> 00:34:51,276 (DOOR CLOSING) 820 00:34:54,753 --> 00:34:56,433 - You tired? - I'm good. 821 00:34:56,596 --> 00:34:59,166 'Cause I could always have the car come pick us up at the corner. 822 00:34:59,235 --> 00:35:00,239 I'm fine. 823 00:35:00,365 --> 00:35:02,845 - Or, hey, I know. I could carry you. - Carry me? 824 00:35:03,045 --> 00:35:06,096 Yeah, piggyback, fireman's carry, in both arms. Your choice. 825 00:35:06,312 --> 00:35:08,997 No. I'm really fine. 826 00:35:11,255 --> 00:35:13,825 Wow, okay. So I guess something's really wrong. 827 00:35:14,019 --> 00:35:15,904 Just because I don't want to be fireman carried 828 00:35:16,071 --> 00:35:17,557 doesn't mean that something is wrong. 829 00:35:17,662 --> 00:35:20,393 - But something is wrong. - No, it's just... 830 00:35:20,594 --> 00:35:21,999 Just? 831 00:35:23,317 --> 00:35:27,407 This isn't exactly what I expected tonight. 832 00:35:27,673 --> 00:35:30,278 I was just a little confused, I guess. 833 00:35:30,814 --> 00:35:33,179 You called. You were so excited. You said celebrate. 834 00:35:33,369 --> 00:35:35,688 I thought it was gonna be just us. 835 00:35:36,091 --> 00:35:37,325 Last night was just us. 836 00:35:37,473 --> 00:35:41,528 I know, and it was also perfect and romantic. 837 00:35:41,787 --> 00:35:45,877 And the more I talk about it, the more I feel stupid for even bringing this up. 838 00:35:46,143 --> 00:35:48,428 Look, I'm sorry I wasn't clear on the phone. 839 00:35:48,614 --> 00:35:50,600 I'm sorry that you didn't have a good time tonight. 840 00:35:50,624 --> 00:35:54,155 Well, no, it's not that. I mean, I get it. The guys are great. Okay. 841 00:35:54,393 --> 00:35:58,803 But technically, Bobby, well, she's not exactly a guy. 842 00:35:59,085 --> 00:36:00,729 Yeah, you got me there. 843 00:36:00,885 --> 00:36:04,050 And until about three hours ago, I thought that she was a guy. 844 00:36:04,278 --> 00:36:05,317 You know why? 845 00:36:05,450 --> 00:36:08,214 Because you never use personal pronouns, "she," "her." 846 00:36:08,424 --> 00:36:10,326 I mean, would that have been so unbelievably difficult 847 00:36:10,350 --> 00:36:11,995 to fit into a conversation? 848 00:36:12,152 --> 00:36:15,923 I don't know about you, but most of the Bobbys I know are guys. 849 00:36:16,256 --> 00:36:19,661 Bobby Kennedy, Bobby Brady, Bobby Knight, Bobby Brown. 850 00:36:20,444 --> 00:36:22,332 You're smiling at me. Why are you smiling at me? 851 00:36:22,371 --> 00:36:24,211 Because you are very cute when you're jealous. 852 00:36:24,382 --> 00:36:25,867 - I'm not jealous. - Rory. 853 00:36:26,014 --> 00:36:29,180 Oh, and it's not just that. I mean, it was everything. 854 00:36:29,408 --> 00:36:32,539 It was not feeling like I was included. 855 00:36:32,758 --> 00:36:35,522 I mean, no one all night asked me anything about me. 856 00:36:35,732 --> 00:36:36,776 Bobby asked you about you. 857 00:36:36,904 --> 00:36:38,823 Yeah, and how condescending was she? 858 00:36:38,998 --> 00:36:41,523 "Oh, it's such a luxury to read literature." 859 00:36:41,721 --> 00:36:43,121 And did you hear what she called us? 860 00:36:43,145 --> 00:36:45,669 Adorable. She called us an adorable couple. 861 00:36:45,867 --> 00:36:48,597 - Wait, she said that out loud? - Yes, adorable. 862 00:36:48,799 --> 00:36:50,808 Wow, you want me to go back there and kick her ass? 863 00:36:50,851 --> 00:36:53,216 Adorable is what you say about a Full House rerun. 864 00:36:53,406 --> 00:36:55,531 It's not what you say about something that lasts. 865 00:36:55,710 --> 00:36:58,562 The Great Wall of China, the pyramids, no one ever called them adorable. 866 00:36:58,599 --> 00:37:02,004 And excuse me, but how many times does a girl need to stand up at dinner? 867 00:37:02,243 --> 00:37:04,208 Yes, you have legs. We get it. 868 00:37:04,379 --> 00:37:07,064 "Oh, no, I'm not leaving. I'm just going to the loo." 869 00:37:07,269 --> 00:37:09,668 Here's a tip. You're in America now. Speak English. 870 00:37:09,866 --> 00:37:11,671 Okay, so just to clarify, in the future, 871 00:37:11,834 --> 00:37:14,199 you would prefer I work only with girls who have no legs. 872 00:37:14,389 --> 00:37:17,554 - You're not taking me seriously. - Because you're not being serious. 873 00:37:17,782 --> 00:37:20,147 Bobby is my colleague. She's great at what she does. 874 00:37:20,336 --> 00:37:22,699 She's smart. She's talented. You know, Nick has great legs, too. 875 00:37:22,723 --> 00:37:25,093 Maybe before you rush to judgment, you should check his out. 876 00:37:25,195 --> 00:37:28,679 Great. So now I'm not just an idiot, I'm an anti-feminist idiot, 877 00:37:28,922 --> 00:37:31,733 an anti-feminist who's standing here in the street 878 00:37:31,938 --> 00:37:34,348 arguing about things I don't really want to be arguing about. 879 00:37:34,451 --> 00:37:37,342 - You don't? - No. Do you think I like feeling this way? 880 00:37:37,550 --> 00:37:39,835 I mean, I haven't seen you for months and months, 881 00:37:40,021 --> 00:37:42,180 and now you're in town for what, 26 hours? 882 00:37:42,367 --> 00:37:46,057 And in that time, I can't just get happy and act like a fruit fly? 883 00:37:46,303 --> 00:37:47,538 Mayfly. 884 00:37:47,686 --> 00:37:51,331 I can't just live in the moment and enjoy the 26 great hours ahead of me? 885 00:37:51,581 --> 00:37:54,632 I have to be sulky and miserable while all the other fruit flies share 886 00:37:54,848 --> 00:37:56,493 private jokes with my boyfriend? 887 00:37:56,648 --> 00:38:00,133 You think I like this about myself? Wrong. I hate myself for being this way. 888 00:38:00,376 --> 00:38:03,187 I hate Bobby for her professionally-tweezed eyebrows 889 00:38:03,391 --> 00:38:06,842 and her oh-so-incredible ability to stand up at a moment's notice. 890 00:38:07,078 --> 00:38:09,207 And most of all, I hate the fact that in a few seconds 891 00:38:09,255 --> 00:38:11,574 you'll be in that car leaving me again. 892 00:38:11,768 --> 00:38:14,819 That is a hell of a long way to go just to say, "I miss you." 893 00:38:15,035 --> 00:38:16,680 Any thoughts in response? 894 00:38:16,836 --> 00:38:18,562 I miss you, too, Ace. 895 00:38:19,810 --> 00:38:23,980 - Five words. You only used five words. - Yeah, well, I'm not done yet. 896 00:38:32,667 --> 00:38:33,858 EMILY: Of course, this time of year, 897 00:38:33,882 --> 00:38:36,327 so many people start playing that awful winter tennis 898 00:38:36,521 --> 00:38:38,489 with the chicken-wire cages and the heated courts. 899 00:38:38,657 --> 00:38:40,862 Platform tennis can be very enjoyable, Emily. 900 00:38:41,044 --> 00:38:43,969 Yes, but it looks ridiculous, like glorified ping-pong. 901 00:38:44,185 --> 00:38:46,915 If I wanted to play ping-pong, I would... 902 00:38:47,117 --> 00:38:49,802 Well, if I wanted to play ping-pong, I would kill myself. 903 00:38:50,007 --> 00:38:52,406 Well, I hope you're still good with a racket, Christopher. 904 00:38:52,604 --> 00:38:53,930 Lorelai was always hopeless. 905 00:38:54,069 --> 00:38:55,837 As a child, we took her to an ophthalmologist 906 00:38:55,913 --> 00:38:57,353 to test her depth perception. 907 00:38:57,504 --> 00:39:00,589 - He could find no rational reason for it. - I know I'm not Sherry. 908 00:39:00,812 --> 00:39:02,422 EMILY: I'm sorry. Did he serve you sherry? 909 00:39:02,446 --> 00:39:03,637 Richard, there's been some mistake. 910 00:39:03,661 --> 00:39:05,388 Christopher's drink was supposed to be port. 911 00:39:05,419 --> 00:39:07,659 - Come to Paris with me. - What? 912 00:39:07,849 --> 00:39:10,774 You were right. I should take G.G. myself. I should check everything out. 913 00:39:10,991 --> 00:39:12,110 Check what out? 914 00:39:12,247 --> 00:39:14,246 Paris. I think they want to check out Paris. 915 00:39:14,425 --> 00:39:16,790 Come on. You can't say no. I mean, you can, but don't, 916 00:39:16,979 --> 00:39:20,544 and maybe there's even a Parisian ice hotel we can stay in. 917 00:39:21,084 --> 00:39:23,403 Yes. I mean, no, there is no ice hotel, 918 00:39:23,597 --> 00:39:25,071 but I'll stay in one made of stone or 919 00:39:25,083 --> 00:39:26,891 bricks, or whatever Paris hotels are made of. 920 00:39:27,073 --> 00:39:29,804 We can blast the air-conditioning and drink all the vodka you want. 921 00:39:30,005 --> 00:39:32,172 What on Earth... That sounds great. 922 00:39:32,308 --> 00:39:34,379 EMILY: What happened when the two of you went to the powder room? 923 00:39:34,403 --> 00:39:35,928 One minute, we're sitting here having dessert, 924 00:39:35,952 --> 00:39:37,520 and the next, you're talking about Paris. 925 00:39:37,544 --> 00:39:39,590 Well, Chris and I are going to Paris. 926 00:39:39,763 --> 00:39:41,834 In just a couple of weeks, actually. So I'm so sorry, Emily, 927 00:39:41,858 --> 00:39:43,677 we're gonna have to take a rain check on that tennis date. 928 00:39:43,701 --> 00:39:45,227 LORELAI: Yeah, till the 12th of never, 929 00:39:45,376 --> 00:39:47,695 'cause we don't play tennis or golf or bridge 930 00:39:47,889 --> 00:39:49,737 or any game that could be played in a foursome, 931 00:39:49,774 --> 00:39:51,340 except hangman and sometimes Pictionary. 932 00:39:51,407 --> 00:39:52,560 (DOORBELL RINGING) 933 00:39:52,705 --> 00:39:55,152 What has gotten into you? You were being so pleasant all evening. 934 00:39:55,176 --> 00:39:56,856 What is this? Looks good. 935 00:39:57,019 --> 00:40:00,424 What is it? I told you 20 minutes ago it was rhubarb pie. 936 00:40:00,663 --> 00:40:01,897 Is it still rhubarb pie? 937 00:40:02,045 --> 00:40:04,490 I swear, I was having the most wonderful time. 938 00:40:04,684 --> 00:40:07,083 - Is rhubarb a root, Dad? - No. 939 00:40:07,281 --> 00:40:09,128 - Hi, everyone. - EMILY: Rory, what a surprise! 940 00:40:09,166 --> 00:40:10,272 - RICHARD: Hello. - RORY: Hi. 941 00:40:10,296 --> 00:40:12,102 - Hey. - Am I late? 942 00:40:12,264 --> 00:40:13,384 EMILY: Of course not, Rory. 943 00:40:13,521 --> 00:40:16,491 You're just in time for rooty rhubarb pie 944 00:40:16,704 --> 00:40:19,355 and for the viewing of Mom's mug shot. 945 00:40:19,552 --> 00:40:20,671 Rory, stop her. 946 00:40:20,808 --> 00:40:22,373 I'm sure you look very nice, Grandma. 947 00:40:22,526 --> 00:40:24,011 You are very photogenic, Emily. 948 00:40:24,159 --> 00:40:26,810 Oh, what am I saying? I have pictures on my phone. 949 00:40:27,007 --> 00:40:28,892 Gather around the phone, everybody. 950 00:40:29,059 --> 00:40:33,195 - EMILY: Richard, what are you doing? - Oh, nothing. Nothing. Only... 951 00:40:33,457 --> 00:40:35,581 These new phones are amazing. 952 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:37,872 Are those handcuffs? Grandma, are you wearing handcuffs? 953 00:40:37,896 --> 00:40:39,050 I certainly was not. 954 00:40:39,194 --> 00:40:41,181 No, they gave her one of those ankle things instead, 955 00:40:41,205 --> 00:40:42,857 with like a chain and cannonball on the end. 956 00:40:42,881 --> 00:40:44,606 - Christopher! - Oh, and the stripy outfit. 957 00:40:44,766 --> 00:40:47,165 Tell Rory how they made you wear the stripy outfit, Mom. 958 00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:48,482 (RICHARD LAUGHING) 959 00:40:49,205 --> 00:40:50,645 (WHO WILL SAVE YOUR SOUL PLAYING) 960 00:40:50,797 --> 00:40:51,801 No. 961 00:40:53,309 --> 00:40:55,994 (COME ON FEEL THE NOISE PLAYING) 962 00:40:56,199 --> 00:40:57,203 No. 963 00:40:58,713 --> 00:41:00,232 (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) 964 00:41:00,388 --> 00:41:01,588 - No! - No! 965 00:41:02,733 --> 00:41:04,173 (COME A LITTLE BIT CLOSER PLAYING) 966 00:41:04,324 --> 00:41:06,895 - Yeah, yeah. Stop there! - Yeah, yeah. That one! 967 00:41:23,464 --> 00:41:24,904 (RORY GROANING) 968 00:41:26,271 --> 00:41:27,310 (LORELAI COUGHS)