1 00:00:04,130 --> 00:00:05,648 EMILY: Hello? Gilmore residence. 2 00:00:05,803 --> 00:00:06,876 Hey, Mom, it's me. 3 00:00:07,016 --> 00:00:09,084 I just wanted to leave you a message letting you know 4 00:00:09,108 --> 00:00:11,314 that unfortunately I will not be able to come by tonight 5 00:00:11,492 --> 00:00:13,055 to take a look at your new curtains. 6 00:00:13,207 --> 00:00:14,531 Lorelai, it's me. 7 00:00:14,671 --> 00:00:16,362 LORELAI.: So, sorry I missed you, but I'm sure... 8 00:00:16,386 --> 00:00:18,669 You didn't miss me. For heaven's sakes, I'm right here. 9 00:00:18,854 --> 00:00:20,212 - Hello? - EMILY: Hello? Lorelai? 10 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,592 - Hello? - Hello? 11 00:00:21,741 --> 00:00:23,224 That's weird. 12 00:00:23,372 --> 00:00:25,368 I don't know if your machine just cut me off. 13 00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:26,820 Is something wrong with this phone? 14 00:00:26,844 --> 00:00:28,487 Anyway, something came up, 15 00:00:28,643 --> 00:00:30,250 and just have to take a rain check on the curtain check. 16 00:00:30,274 --> 00:00:32,802 - I'm sure they're beautiful. - Rain check? Lorelai, I'm right here. 17 00:00:32,826 --> 00:00:35,270 -No one knows how to pick out curtains -I'm on the phone, Lorelai. 18 00:00:35,294 --> 00:00:36,441 Like you. You're the curtain queen. 19 00:00:36,465 --> 00:00:38,428 Hello? Lorelai, can you hear me? 20 00:00:38,598 --> 00:00:42,204 Anyway, have a good night, curtain queen. Give my best to Dad. Bye. 21 00:00:42,447 --> 00:00:44,363 Lorelai? Hello? Hello? 22 00:00:45,626 --> 00:00:47,029 See, I told you it would work. 23 00:00:47,174 --> 00:00:48,852 Wow. How did you even think to... 24 00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:51,776 Well, it's natural instincts honed by years of experience. 25 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:52,988 Wow. 26 00:00:53,114 --> 00:00:56,283 Yeah. Fight or flight, you know. Fight or flight, and I just did my nails, so... 27 00:00:56,335 --> 00:00:58,173 - Flight. - Flight. 28 00:00:58,343 --> 00:00:59,576 Wow. 29 00:00:59,723 --> 00:01:01,207 (PHONE RINGING) 30 00:01:05,246 --> 00:01:06,248 (SINGING) 31 00:02:00,463 --> 00:02:02,825 (MAN SPEAKING FRENCH ON TAPE RECORDER) 32 00:02:04,101 --> 00:02:06,497 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) Where is the nearest subway station? 33 00:02:06,695 --> 00:02:07,768 Yeah. 34 00:02:08,327 --> 00:02:10,563 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 35 00:02:11,296 --> 00:02:12,415 Where can I buy a ticket? 36 00:02:12,551 --> 00:02:14,514 The hunter and gatherer has returned. 37 00:02:14,684 --> 00:02:16,807 Hey, listen to how good I've gotten. 38 00:02:17,027 --> 00:02:19,549 (MAN SPEAKING FRENCH ON TAPE RECORDER) 39 00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:22,766 Could I have a map of the subway, please? 40 00:02:23,679 --> 00:02:26,680 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) Could I have a map of the subway, please? 41 00:02:26,899 --> 00:02:30,026 - Impressive. - Right? I'm practically fluent. 42 00:02:30,246 --> 00:02:32,449 Thank you for the coffee and croissant. 43 00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:33,793 (CHRISTOPHER SPEAKING FRENCH) 44 00:02:34,136 --> 00:02:35,289 You're welcome. 45 00:02:35,433 --> 00:02:36,757 (CHUCKLING) Duh! 46 00:02:37,650 --> 00:02:39,801 I thought our stomachs should start adjusting to French cuisine, 47 00:02:39,825 --> 00:02:42,028 so I got us croissants and café au lait. 48 00:02:42,210 --> 00:02:43,614 I thought café au lait was Spanish. 49 00:02:43,716 --> 00:02:45,998 No, it's French for coffee and milk. Lait is milk. 50 00:02:46,184 --> 00:02:50,748 Really. I thought it was café olé. Like, "Coffee! All right!" 51 00:02:51,622 --> 00:02:55,182 You're kidding. You're not kidding. You are, you're kidding. 52 00:02:55,428 --> 00:02:57,955 - I can't tell whether you're kidding. - I'm a woman of mystery. 53 00:02:57,980 --> 00:03:00,508 You know, you might want to try repeating those words in French. 54 00:03:00,657 --> 00:03:01,981 We leave for Paris in two weeks. 55 00:03:02,122 --> 00:03:03,687 Yes, but I don't have to actually speak French. 56 00:03:03,711 --> 00:03:05,309 I just have to sound French. 57 00:03:05,467 --> 00:03:08,115 That way, if the Parisians find me just another uncouth American, 58 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:11,918 I can tell them my sad story. I was born in Marseilles, 59 00:03:12,161 --> 00:03:16,167 and my parents were killed in a très tragique accident. 60 00:03:16,428 --> 00:03:18,949 And so, I was sent to the States 61 00:03:19,147 --> 00:03:21,543 and adopted by the evil Gilmores, 62 00:03:21,740 --> 00:03:24,136 who refused to let me speak French. 63 00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:28,465 But I never forgot the accent of my mother country. 64 00:03:28,726 --> 00:03:32,366 - That's a complicated back story. - I've led a complicated life. 65 00:03:32,616 --> 00:03:34,684 - Somebody gets a lot of mail. - Yeah, well, I'm a popular gal. 66 00:03:34,708 --> 00:03:37,755 Also, my system is I only open my mail once a month. 67 00:03:37,971 --> 00:03:40,538 Your system is to open your mail once a month? 68 00:03:40,732 --> 00:03:41,921 Twelve times a year, you know, 69 00:03:41,945 --> 00:03:44,022 because if you open your mail more than that, 70 00:03:44,203 --> 00:03:47,204 you get a lot of mattress fliers and bills, and another bill. 71 00:03:47,425 --> 00:03:49,421 This way, I open it once a month, 72 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,686 and I get letters from people who still write letters 73 00:03:51,859 --> 00:03:56,423 and shampoo samples and fun stuff. It's fun. 74 00:03:57,129 --> 00:03:58,328 Hey, what's this? 75 00:03:58,468 --> 00:03:59,906 Something from Yale? 76 00:04:00,058 --> 00:04:01,815 About the parents' weekend. We should go. 77 00:04:01,981 --> 00:04:03,339 - No. - Why not? 78 00:04:03,488 --> 00:04:04,651 I'm sure it already happened. 79 00:04:04,742 --> 00:04:07,104 No, it's happening this weekend. Come on, it could be fun. 80 00:04:07,294 --> 00:04:08,858 I got to wash my hair. 81 00:04:09,009 --> 00:04:11,052 - Why don't you want to go? - Because my hair. 82 00:04:11,226 --> 00:04:14,155 It looks great when it's dirty. The oil gives it a kind of sheen, a gloss. 83 00:04:14,238 --> 00:04:16,515 Parents' weekend is for lame-o parents whose kids hate them, 84 00:04:16,539 --> 00:04:19,508 so they need a school-sanctioned event so they can all spend time together. 85 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:22,358 A professor of geology is giving a tour of the Peabody Museum. 86 00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:25,803 My kid likes me. I can go to Yale any time I want. 87 00:04:26,035 --> 00:04:28,477 Fifty-one weekends of the year is my parents' weekend. 88 00:04:28,670 --> 00:04:31,671 The Gemstones of Yale. How cool does that sound? 89 00:04:31,891 --> 00:04:33,455 On a scale of one to two? 90 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:36,972 Listen, parents' weekend is not an accurate portrait of the school, anyway. 91 00:04:37,204 --> 00:04:39,852 They make special food. They gussy the place up. 92 00:04:40,048 --> 00:04:42,524 They plant kids under trees reading Tolstoy, 93 00:04:42,725 --> 00:04:44,881 so it all looks very collegiate and idyllic. 94 00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:47,145 There's a brunch at Branford with the Provost. 95 00:04:47,326 --> 00:04:48,934 You know, I've always loved the word "Provost." 96 00:04:48,958 --> 00:04:50,858 Although, I have no idea who or what a Provost is. 97 00:04:50,882 --> 00:04:52,740 - It just sounds so... - Idyllic and collegiate? 98 00:04:52,764 --> 00:04:55,926 Yes, or like something from a deli counter. "Extra Provost on that, please." 99 00:04:56,153 --> 00:04:57,272 Do you really want to go? 100 00:04:57,408 --> 00:04:59,211 It's parents' weekend, we're Rory's parents, 101 00:04:59,374 --> 00:05:01,610 and we're together and why not? 102 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,993 Come on, I'll help you shampoo your hair the night before. 103 00:05:04,017 --> 00:05:05,020 All right. 104 00:05:05,147 --> 00:05:07,474 But I have to work on Sunday, so we'll have to go Saturday. 105 00:05:07,531 --> 00:05:09,687 And you'll have to give me a nice head massage 106 00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:11,917 - when you wash my hair. - With shampoo samples. 107 00:05:12,091 --> 00:05:13,209 - And blow it out. - Done. 108 00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,577 - And braid it. - I'll French braid it. 109 00:05:14,601 --> 00:05:15,639 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 110 00:05:15,772 --> 00:05:17,210 - Ooh, Ia Ia! Hello? - Mom? 111 00:05:17,362 --> 00:05:18,435 LORELAI: Bonjour, Rory. 112 00:05:18,574 --> 00:05:20,617 Well, if it isn't the orphan from Marseilles. 113 00:05:20,792 --> 00:05:22,435 C'est moi. What are you doing? 114 00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:23,993 - Heading to class. - Class? 115 00:05:24,139 --> 00:05:26,426 Yes, class, where they teach you all the college learning. 116 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,368 You're a senior. I thought no seniors went to class before noon. 117 00:05:29,576 --> 00:05:30,934 Nerd alert! Nerd alert! 118 00:05:31,082 --> 00:05:32,566 Says the woman saying, "Nerd alert!" 119 00:05:32,629 --> 00:05:34,512 Hey, guess who's coming to parents ' weekend. 120 00:05:34,679 --> 00:05:36,287 Bunch of lame parents whose kids hate them. 121 00:05:36,311 --> 00:05:37,589 Yes, and your parents. 122 00:05:37,733 --> 00:05:39,537 - No way. - I got to keep you on your toes. 123 00:05:39,699 --> 00:05:41,217 When you think I'll zig, I'll zag. 124 00:05:41,373 --> 00:05:43,529 Then when you think I'm gonna zag, I do zag, 125 00:05:43,715 --> 00:05:45,921 just to mess you up for the next time, when I might zig. 126 00:05:46,016 --> 00:05:48,537 - Dad's making you zag? - He's dying to meet the Provost. 127 00:05:48,735 --> 00:05:50,138 RORY.: Well, who isn't? 128 00:05:50,282 --> 00:05:51,967 It's your mom who's all about the Provost. 129 00:05:52,039 --> 00:05:54,126 I just wanted to see you and, you know, check it out, 130 00:05:54,215 --> 00:05:56,073 and I wouldn't mind seeing the gemstones of Yale. 131 00:05:56,097 --> 00:05:58,023 - RORY: The huh? - Gemstones. The Yale gemstones. 132 00:05:58,063 --> 00:05:59,066 Oh, right. 133 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,176 CHRISTOPHER.: So, is it cool if we come? It's only for Saturday. 134 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,645 Yeah, it'd be great. I mean, Saturday's gonna be pretty busy for me 135 00:06:03,669 --> 00:06:05,945 'cause we have to put out a parents' weekend edition of the paper, 136 00:06:05,969 --> 00:06:07,253 but I could definitely do lunch. 137 00:06:07,392 --> 00:06:08,999 - She can do lunch. - All right, then we'll do lunch. 138 00:06:09,023 --> 00:06:11,180 I'll have extra Provost with mine. 139 00:06:11,365 --> 00:06:12,970 Hey, after lunch, can we walk Hunky Dan? 140 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,641 - You mean Handsome Dan? - No, that's his official mascot name. 141 00:06:15,841 --> 00:06:17,647 Hunky Dan is what I call him when we're alone. 142 00:06:17,724 --> 00:06:18,762 Mom, I gotta go. 143 00:06:18,895 --> 00:06:20,377 You know who'd make a great mascot? Paul Anka. 144 00:06:20,401 --> 00:06:21,439 Mom. 145 00:06:21,572 --> 00:06:22,887 I'm not sure he's the Ivy League type, though. 146 00:06:22,911 --> 00:06:26,201 He might need more of a hack y-sacking, poetry-reading, tie-dyeing kind of place... 147 00:06:26,424 --> 00:06:28,341 - Mom? - Like Reed or Oberlin, 148 00:06:28,517 --> 00:06:30,639 where the air is sweet with the scent of patchouli. 149 00:06:30,817 --> 00:06:32,894 Mom, I'm not missing the beginning of this lecture. 150 00:06:33,076 --> 00:06:35,153 Nerd alert! Nerd alert! Nerd alert! 151 00:06:36,883 --> 00:06:38,992 - What kind of sandwich is that, Luke? - Ham and cheese. 152 00:06:39,016 --> 00:06:40,534 - Is it stinky cheese? - Cheddar. 153 00:06:40,689 --> 00:06:43,259 Because you really don't want to pack April a lunch with stinky cheese. 154 00:06:43,283 --> 00:06:44,961 By lunchtime, the whole bag will smell, 155 00:06:45,123 --> 00:06:47,651 and people won't believe her when she says it's just the cheese. 156 00:06:47,717 --> 00:06:49,491 They'll think it's her. They'll think she's stinky. 157 00:06:49,515 --> 00:06:50,518 Eat your breakfast, Kirk. 158 00:06:50,645 --> 00:06:52,003 - Muffin? - Yes, muffin? 159 00:06:52,151 --> 00:06:53,384 No, I'm offering. 160 00:06:53,531 --> 00:06:55,254 - Is it bran? - It's banana. 161 00:06:55,413 --> 00:06:56,737 It could be banana-bran. 162 00:06:56,878 --> 00:06:58,681 - It's just banana. - Okay. 163 00:06:58,844 --> 00:06:59,917 - Butter? - Not too much. 164 00:07:00,057 --> 00:07:01,060 One and a half pats. 165 00:07:01,186 --> 00:07:03,024 - Two pats is too much. - One and a half. 166 00:07:03,194 --> 00:07:04,472 April, your ride's here. 167 00:07:04,616 --> 00:07:06,259 APRIL.: I'm coming! 168 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,485 - Got everything? - Yeah. 169 00:07:08,632 --> 00:07:09,670 - Protractor? - I got it. 170 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:10,956 - Biology homework? - Yep. 171 00:07:11,101 --> 00:07:11,600 Extra sweater? 172 00:07:11,612 --> 00:07:13,084 I still got the green cardigan in my locker. 173 00:07:13,108 --> 00:07:14,432 - Good, good. - Bye, Dad. 174 00:07:14,573 --> 00:07:16,138 - Wait, what about your swimsuit? - I got it. 175 00:07:16,162 --> 00:07:17,979 All right. You sure you don't need a ride to swim practice? 176 00:07:18,003 --> 00:07:19,150 Megan's mom is taking me. I told you. 177 00:07:19,174 --> 00:07:20,212 (HONKING) 178 00:07:20,346 --> 00:07:21,384 She's coming! 179 00:07:21,516 --> 00:07:24,726 All right, so, look, I'll pick you up at 5:00 and I'll be there right after work. 180 00:07:24,905 --> 00:07:25,978 - Okay. - Okay. 181 00:07:26,118 --> 00:07:27,923 All right, already! She's standing right here. 182 00:07:27,958 --> 00:07:29,636 - Go. - All right. Bye. 183 00:07:30,929 --> 00:07:32,492 I should go, too. 184 00:07:32,644 --> 00:07:34,926 - Have a good day, baby. - You, too. 185 00:07:35,112 --> 00:07:36,869 - Bye, Luke. - Bye, Lulu. 186 00:07:40,759 --> 00:07:41,877 (SIGHS) 187 00:07:42,348 --> 00:07:44,996 Could someone crack a window? Because I am suffocating. 188 00:07:45,193 --> 00:07:47,075 - What? - Tell me you didn't see that. 189 00:07:47,243 --> 00:07:49,719 - See what, Kirk? - Lulu! She's smothering me! 190 00:07:49,919 --> 00:07:50,958 Smothering you? 191 00:07:51,091 --> 00:07:52,769 Everywhere I go, there she is. 192 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,613 I'm sitting at the movies. Who's sitting next to me? Lulu. 193 00:07:55,818 --> 00:07:58,625 I go out to dinner. Who's sitting across from me? Lulu. 194 00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:00,827 I'm hanging out on the couch, watching TV. 195 00:08:01,005 --> 00:08:02,204 Who's right there next to me? 196 00:08:02,344 --> 00:08:03,908 - Your mother. - And Lulu. 197 00:08:04,059 --> 00:08:06,102 And at least Mother respects my personal space. 198 00:08:06,276 --> 00:08:08,718 Sometimes, when you're watching Antiques Roadshow, 199 00:08:08,911 --> 00:08:11,228 you just don't want somebody tickling your arm. 200 00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:19,308 Bye, again. 201 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:26,963 You're pitiful. 202 00:08:27,108 --> 00:08:28,351 I'm just telling you how it is. 203 00:08:28,447 --> 00:08:30,649 You don't tell me how it is. I tell you how it is. 204 00:08:30,831 --> 00:08:32,029 - No, you don't. - Yes, I do. 205 00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:34,907 SOOKIE: You think you do, but you don't. That's what I'm trying to tell you. 206 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:37,167 You're telling me that you tell me how it is? 207 00:08:37,357 --> 00:08:39,507 - That's what I'm telling you. - We'll just see about that. 208 00:08:39,531 --> 00:08:40,569 - Lorelai? - Busy. 209 00:08:40,703 --> 00:08:42,585 - We have a question. - Busy, busy bee. 210 00:08:42,753 --> 00:08:44,193 Sookie's under the mistaken impression 211 00:08:44,217 --> 00:08:47,378 that she will be in charge of the front desk while you are in Paris. 212 00:08:47,605 --> 00:08:51,325 I informed her that that job falls to me. Could you please clear this up for her? 213 00:08:51,578 --> 00:08:53,701 Did I not mention how busy I am? Busy, like a bee. 214 00:08:53,879 --> 00:08:54,917 (BUZZING) 215 00:08:55,051 --> 00:08:56,054 Lorelai! 216 00:08:56,180 --> 00:08:58,868 (SIGHS) Michel, while I am away, you're in charge of the front desk. 217 00:08:58,941 --> 00:08:59,979 Ha! 218 00:09:00,113 --> 00:09:03,879 However, Sookie is a co-owner of the inn, so she is "in charge" in charge. 219 00:09:04,128 --> 00:09:05,131 Ha! Ha! 220 00:09:05,342 --> 00:09:06,745 That is preposterous. 221 00:09:06,889 --> 00:09:09,457 She does not know the first thing about running the front desk. 222 00:09:09,651 --> 00:09:11,656 All I have to know is how to tell your sorry behind 223 00:09:11,742 --> 00:09:14,138 to stand at the front desk and be courteous, 224 00:09:14,335 --> 00:09:15,901 and to check those nice people in and out. 225 00:09:15,925 --> 00:09:16,928 (IMITATES WHIP CRACK) 226 00:09:17,096 --> 00:09:18,934 - Sorry. - Absurd. 227 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:20,711 That's right. Back to your station! 228 00:09:20,735 --> 00:09:21,738 (IMITATES WHIP CRACK) 229 00:09:21,907 --> 00:09:23,869 - Really, was that really necessary? - What? 230 00:09:24,124 --> 00:09:26,108 To provoke him like that. You know how sensitive he is. 231 00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,209 Well, I'm sorry. He's been driving me crazy. 232 00:09:28,391 --> 00:09:30,196 He keeps referring to himself as my supervisor 233 00:09:30,231 --> 00:09:32,034 and insisting that I call him "Captain." 234 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,764 Well, now I have to deal all day with sulky, pouty Michel. 235 00:09:34,958 --> 00:09:38,164 He's a big baby. He should come to work wearing a diaper and carrying a rattle. 236 00:09:38,388 --> 00:09:39,996 Maybe while I'm gone you can get him to do that. 237 00:09:40,020 --> 00:09:41,023 (IMITATES WHIP CRACK) 238 00:09:41,149 --> 00:09:42,222 (KNOCKING) 239 00:09:42,362 --> 00:09:44,484 - Hello? - Oh, hi. 240 00:09:44,662 --> 00:09:46,305 - Are you Sookie St. James? - That's me. 241 00:09:46,462 --> 00:09:48,664 I'm Harvey Tunnell. I just took over the Tillman farm. 242 00:09:48,846 --> 00:09:51,447 Oh, yeah. Congratulations. Beautiful property. 243 00:09:51,649 --> 00:09:54,216 Thank you. I still can't quite believe it's all mine. 244 00:09:54,409 --> 00:09:55,642 Anyhow, this is my first crop, 245 00:09:55,790 --> 00:09:58,317 and I'm just offering free samples to all the local restaurants. 246 00:09:58,425 --> 00:10:01,745 Got some eggplant, some zucchinis, some tomatoes here. 247 00:10:01,981 --> 00:10:04,742 Oh, thank you, but I already have a vegetable supplier. 248 00:10:04,951 --> 00:10:06,917 Well, you know, technically, tomatoes are a fruit. 249 00:10:07,042 --> 00:10:08,525 Fair point. 250 00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:10,637 Well, I have a vegetable and fruit supplier. 251 00:10:10,807 --> 00:10:12,371 - How about legumes? - And legumes. 252 00:10:12,522 --> 00:10:14,883 That's okay. Why don't you go ahead and take this batch anyway? 253 00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:16,724 - Oh, no, no, no, really. - On the house, on the house. 254 00:10:16,748 --> 00:10:19,355 And if you like it and feel like passing my name along to someone, 255 00:10:19,424 --> 00:10:20,827 I'd greatly appreciate it. 256 00:10:20,972 --> 00:10:23,289 - Okay. I will do that. - Thank you. 257 00:10:23,482 --> 00:10:26,529 - It was nice meeting you, Sookie. - Nice to meet you, too. 258 00:10:29,213 --> 00:10:30,216 (EXCLAIMS) 259 00:10:30,552 --> 00:10:32,469 Come on! Everybody should be in the locker room! 260 00:10:32,643 --> 00:10:34,686 Alison, Hayley, no running. 261 00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:36,184 My towel's all wet. 262 00:10:36,324 --> 00:10:38,267 That's what happens when you throw it in the pool, Laura. 263 00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:42,662 It's a terrific lesson in cause and effect. Now, squeeze it out and go get changed. 264 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:45,443 Thank you. 265 00:10:47,326 --> 00:10:50,087 - Hi, there. - Hi, I'm Luke Danes. 266 00:10:50,296 --> 00:10:51,861 April's dad. She talks a lot about you. 267 00:10:51,886 --> 00:10:53,244 Yeah, you must be Coach Bennett. 268 00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:55,708 - Susan. Nice to meet you. - Yeah. You, too. 269 00:10:55,901 --> 00:10:57,635 April's in the locker room. She should be right out. 270 00:10:57,659 --> 00:10:59,655 - Okay. - She's doing really great. 271 00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,759 Definitely one of our most enthusiastic swimmers. 272 00:11:01,925 --> 00:11:03,408 Yeah, she really seems to love it. 273 00:11:03,556 --> 00:11:05,707 Good natural technique, too. Does she get that from you? 274 00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:08,333 Oh, no, not me. No, I don't really know how to swim. 275 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:09,973 - Seriously? - Yeah. 276 00:11:10,124 --> 00:11:12,050 I mean, I could doggy-paddle to shore in a pinch, 277 00:11:12,132 --> 00:11:14,049 but I never really learned formally, you know. 278 00:11:14,223 --> 00:11:15,456 Luke, that's not good. 279 00:11:15,603 --> 00:11:18,050 - I'm pretty good on land, though. - You need to be certified. 280 00:11:18,156 --> 00:11:20,598 You take April to pools, lakes, the ocean. 281 00:11:20,791 --> 00:11:22,468 I never really thought about that. 282 00:11:22,631 --> 00:11:25,918 No worries. I teach an adult swim class Saturday mornings for an hour an a half. 283 00:11:26,145 --> 00:11:29,435 It's an eight-week course and, in fact, I started a new round of classes last week, 284 00:11:29,492 --> 00:11:32,340 so if you came this Saturday, you'll really not have missed much at all. 285 00:11:32,462 --> 00:11:34,265 Oh, I don't know. It's... 286 00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:36,471 Luke, this is not something I would wait on. 287 00:11:36,645 --> 00:11:39,567 Well, I... Yeah, okay. I guess I could do that. 288 00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,109 Great. 289 00:11:41,247 --> 00:11:42,924 - Oh. Hey, Dad. - Hey. 290 00:11:43,087 --> 00:11:45,279 - Oh, this is Coach Bennett. - Yeah, we were just meeting. 291 00:11:45,303 --> 00:11:47,246 Well, did she tell you I'm gonna swim the 100-meter butterfly 292 00:11:47,270 --> 00:11:49,918 and the 4x100-meter freestyle at our meet next week? 293 00:11:50,115 --> 00:11:51,518 No, but that's great. 294 00:11:51,662 --> 00:11:53,771 I mean, I'm not anchor or anything, but I'm still pretty fast. 295 00:11:53,795 --> 00:11:55,313 And getting faster all the time. 296 00:11:55,469 --> 00:11:57,327 And, hey, your dad's gonna take a swim class with me. 297 00:11:57,351 --> 00:11:58,424 (LAUGHS) 298 00:11:58,815 --> 00:12:00,333 Really? You are? 299 00:12:00,489 --> 00:12:02,931 - Well, yeah. - Do you even own a bathing suit? 300 00:12:03,124 --> 00:12:05,931 Yeah, I do. I mean, it's not a Speedo or anything. 301 00:12:06,136 --> 00:12:08,612 (ALL THREE LAUGHING) 302 00:12:09,064 --> 00:12:11,666 That is the funniest thing I have ever... 303 00:12:11,866 --> 00:12:13,909 Can we call Mom and tell her from the car? 304 00:12:14,084 --> 00:12:15,122 Yeah. 305 00:12:18,518 --> 00:12:21,607 LORELAI: Grass is just not this green. Not outside of Pleasantville, it isn't. 306 00:12:21,823 --> 00:12:23,106 So, what exactly are you saying? 307 00:12:23,245 --> 00:12:25,528 I'm suggesting they brought in sod. 308 00:12:25,713 --> 00:12:28,109 - You suspect sod. - Yes, yes, or spray paint. 309 00:12:28,307 --> 00:12:30,750 Maybe they spray-painted the grass when they spray-painted these trees. 310 00:12:30,774 --> 00:12:34,061 Because, I mean, there's autumnal foliage and then there's autumnal foliage. 311 00:12:34,288 --> 00:12:35,691 It's over the top, people. 312 00:12:35,836 --> 00:12:39,076 You're onto them. Hey, you think Yale piped in this crisp fall smell? 313 00:12:39,308 --> 00:12:44,192 Yeah, because Yale is crafty, Yale is smart. Yale is Yale, after all. 314 00:12:44,495 --> 00:12:46,812 Have fun, you two! Go, Bulldogs! 315 00:12:47,005 --> 00:12:48,842 - Hello. - GIRL: Hi. 316 00:12:49,013 --> 00:12:50,290 Let me ask you something. 317 00:12:50,435 --> 00:12:53,721 Do you really go here or are you an actress hired by Yale? 318 00:12:53,949 --> 00:12:56,517 What? I go here. I go here. 319 00:12:56,710 --> 00:12:58,636 - You're good. I almost believe you. - I'm sorry? 320 00:12:58,801 --> 00:13:00,764 Hi. We're Rory Gilmore's parents. 321 00:13:00,977 --> 00:13:04,947 Well, Rory Gilmore's parents, welcome to parents' weekend. 322 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,244 - GIRL: Here's a parents' packet. - Fabulous. 323 00:13:07,419 --> 00:13:10,066 Inside, you should find a map of the campus. You are here. 324 00:13:10,263 --> 00:13:11,301 So we are. 325 00:13:11,434 --> 00:13:13,751 A schedule of the weekend's events and a name tag. 326 00:13:13,944 --> 00:13:15,587 Thanks. Great. Go, Bulldogs. 327 00:13:15,743 --> 00:13:17,706 I was just gonna say that. Have fun, you two. 328 00:13:17,876 --> 00:13:19,234 - Okay. - Thank you. 329 00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:21,950 - Hey, let's be Laverne and Shirley. - What? No. 330 00:13:22,143 --> 00:13:25,109 Antony and Cleopatra? F. Scott and Zelda? Zinf and Dell? 331 00:13:25,322 --> 00:13:27,639 I think I'll stick with my own name. 332 00:13:27,832 --> 00:13:30,754 Señor Boring Pants? Mr. Stick-in-the-mud? 333 00:13:30,970 --> 00:13:33,206 A cappella. A cappella. 334 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,673 There's a terrifying number of a cappella jams this weekend. 335 00:13:35,697 --> 00:13:37,420 What exactly is an a cappella jam? 336 00:13:37,579 --> 00:13:38,582 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 337 00:13:38,708 --> 00:13:40,671 I don't know, but it sure sounds painful. 338 00:13:40,842 --> 00:13:42,439 - Hey. We're here. - Hey. 339 00:13:42,599 --> 00:13:44,721 See if you can get that editorial to fit on one page. 340 00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:45,903 So, you're here. 341 00:13:46,029 --> 00:13:47,313 With bells on, and nothing else, 342 00:13:47,367 --> 00:13:50,494 except leg warmers, roller skates, and Groucho Marx glasses. 343 00:13:50,714 --> 00:13:52,392 - How classy. - Hi, Rory! 344 00:13:52,554 --> 00:13:54,622 Well, we're your parents. We're supposed to embarrass you. 345 00:13:54,646 --> 00:13:55,879 Are you at the paper? 346 00:13:56,026 --> 00:13:57,669 Yes, I am indeed. Where are you guys? 347 00:13:57,826 --> 00:14:01,032 We are near a big brick building and a big tree. 348 00:14:01,256 --> 00:14:02,614 - Are you near there? - Possibly. 349 00:14:02,761 --> 00:14:05,128 We have a lot of brick buildings and old trees here at Yale. 350 00:14:05,187 --> 00:14:06,502 Tell her we're by the L-shaped building 351 00:14:06,526 --> 00:14:08,843 that from the top looks like a Polaroid camera. 352 00:14:09,035 --> 00:14:10,480 Believe it or not, I don't know what 353 00:14:10,625 --> 00:14:12,275 all of Yale's buildings look like from the sky. 354 00:14:12,299 --> 00:14:13,657 How ignorant of you, honey. 355 00:14:13,804 --> 00:14:16,406 Rory says she doesn't give two figs about Yale architecture. 356 00:14:16,608 --> 00:14:17,885 Not two figs? 357 00:14:18,030 --> 00:14:19,514 One and a half figs is all I'll give. 358 00:14:19,661 --> 00:14:21,013 So, how are things at the paper? 359 00:14:21,025 --> 00:14:22,790 Busy, but good. I should be done by lunch. 360 00:14:22,924 --> 00:14:25,572 Cool. So, we got this schedule of events here. Any recommendations? 361 00:14:25,684 --> 00:14:26,837 Brunch with the Provost! 362 00:14:26,981 --> 00:14:30,142 I might like to tour the Peabody, or maybe catch one of the faculty lectures. 363 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,897 There's one called Plagues and Pleasures with Professor Summers. 364 00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:35,766 Summers is good. He's a bigwig in the world of molecular biophysics. 365 00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:38,018 - Sounds hard. - Well, I doubt there'll be an exam. 366 00:14:38,192 --> 00:14:40,509 How about The Extravagant Universe with Professor Quincy? 367 00:14:40,702 --> 00:14:43,544 Oh, God. Hey, what is with all the a cappella? 368 00:14:43,755 --> 00:14:45,962 There's a cappella, a cappella morning, noon, and night. 369 00:14:46,056 --> 00:14:47,821 I'm not sure I can take that much a cappella. 370 00:14:47,896 --> 00:14:49,060 Then you should avoid arches. 371 00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:50,996 A cappella groups tend to hang out under arches. 372 00:14:51,035 --> 00:14:52,920 Arches and any other places with good acoustics. 373 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,039 Thanks for the tip. 374 00:14:54,172 --> 00:14:56,364 And if you hear a pitch pipe, run. I got to get back to work. 375 00:14:56,388 --> 00:14:58,431 Okay, we're gonna have brunch with the Provost, 376 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,603 or on the Provost. It's still unclear. 377 00:15:00,781 --> 00:15:02,220 - Bye, Mom. - Bye. 378 00:15:04,044 --> 00:15:06,246 - What? What is with your name tag? - What do you mean? 379 00:15:06,428 --> 00:15:08,391 - It's in the middle of your chest. - So? 380 00:15:08,561 --> 00:15:10,336 So, you're supposed to wear it off to the side. 381 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,051 Who wears a name tag in the middle of their chest? 382 00:15:12,075 --> 00:15:13,308 - Superman. - Superman's "S"? 383 00:15:13,456 --> 00:15:14,979 That was not a name tag. That was an emblem. 384 00:15:15,003 --> 00:15:16,486 So, this is my emblem. 385 00:15:16,635 --> 00:15:19,202 "Hello, I'm Rory Gilmore's Dad, Christopher" is your emblem? 386 00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:20,674 Yes. Yes, it is. 387 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:24,192 I'm gonna have to ask you to walk 15 feet in front of me. 388 00:15:24,416 --> 00:15:27,804 And breathe in, and blow. 389 00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:32,882 And breathe in, and blow. 390 00:15:33,702 --> 00:15:36,350 Good, Luke. But try not to take such shallow breaths. 391 00:15:36,546 --> 00:15:40,073 Try to take slower, deeper breaths from your diaphragm. 392 00:15:40,311 --> 00:15:41,795 - Feel that? - Yeah. 393 00:15:42,319 --> 00:15:44,841 I'm having a little trouble getting deep breaths over here. 394 00:15:45,038 --> 00:15:46,876 You're doing fine, Ronald. 395 00:15:47,549 --> 00:15:48,695 Now you've stopped breathing altogether. 396 00:15:48,719 --> 00:15:49,757 (COUGHS) 397 00:15:49,890 --> 00:15:51,728 - Just try and relax. - Okay. 398 00:15:52,401 --> 00:15:54,843 It's okay. You'll get the hang of it. 399 00:15:55,036 --> 00:15:58,197 All right, everybody. That's it. Good work. 400 00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:00,102 - You did good today. - Yeah? Thanks. 401 00:16:00,265 --> 00:16:02,308 Yeah. You caught right up. 402 00:16:03,067 --> 00:16:04,507 I'll have you swimming like a fish in no time. 403 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:05,970 Oh, good. Thank you. 404 00:16:06,121 --> 00:16:08,038 So, you eat? 405 00:16:08,339 --> 00:16:09,742 - Eat? - Food. 406 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,038 I was thinking you could call me and we could get a bite to eat. 407 00:16:12,062 --> 00:16:13,944 Yeah, sure, sure. 408 00:16:14,111 --> 00:16:15,263 Here. 409 00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:17,894 Here's the Young Dolphins' contact sheet. My number's right at the top. 410 00:16:17,918 --> 00:16:19,596 Okay. Great. Thanks. 411 00:16:20,302 --> 00:16:21,580 - See you soon. - Bye. 412 00:16:23,272 --> 00:16:26,992 Look at this propaganda. Belgian waffles, cloth napkins. 413 00:16:27,246 --> 00:16:28,490 I've had breakfast here before, 414 00:16:28,584 --> 00:16:31,105 and it was paper napkins and American cereal all the way. 415 00:16:31,304 --> 00:16:33,780 Yeah, lox, capers, itty-bitty bagels? 416 00:16:33,981 --> 00:16:35,214 Pack of lies. 417 00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:37,483 - Coffee? - Coffee. 418 00:16:37,662 --> 00:16:39,659 - Coffee. - I'm Lou, Ethan Morton's dad. 419 00:16:39,837 --> 00:16:40,875 Cheers. 420 00:16:41,009 --> 00:16:43,656 I'm Christopher. This is Lorelai. We're Rory Gilmore's parents. 421 00:16:43,853 --> 00:16:46,009 Rory Gilmore? Sure, she's a senior, right? 422 00:16:46,196 --> 00:16:48,513 Wow. Did you memorize the student Facebook? 423 00:16:48,705 --> 00:16:50,383 The masthead of the Yale Daily News. 424 00:16:50,546 --> 00:16:53,707 Ethan's an aspiring journalist and a big fan of your daughter's. 425 00:16:53,934 --> 00:16:55,738 I love that Rory has fans. 426 00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:58,512 Maybe we should set up a lunch or something so Rory could meet Ethan. 427 00:16:58,536 --> 00:17:00,419 Lou, honestly. 428 00:17:00,585 --> 00:17:02,388 I apologize on behalf of my husband, 429 00:17:02,552 --> 00:17:05,200 who can't seem to remember that Ethan already got into Yale. 430 00:17:05,396 --> 00:17:08,284 The pressure's off. He doesn't need his booster club anymore. 431 00:17:08,491 --> 00:17:10,134 - Daisy. - Hi. Lorelai and Christopher. 432 00:17:10,291 --> 00:17:11,808 We're Rory Gilmore's parents. 433 00:17:11,963 --> 00:17:14,120 Oh, Rory Gilmore's parents. 434 00:17:14,306 --> 00:17:16,303 Oh! Where did you get the darling little bagels? 435 00:17:16,482 --> 00:17:18,207 Oh, they're right over here. I'll show you. 436 00:17:18,363 --> 00:17:21,124 You know, Ethan really is an incredible journalist. 437 00:17:21,334 --> 00:17:23,490 He wrote this editorial for his high school paper 438 00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:26,324 arguing that it should be legal to burn the American flag. 439 00:17:26,521 --> 00:17:27,594 Insightful as hell. 440 00:17:27,734 --> 00:17:29,539 I'd be glad to e-mail you a copy, if you want. 441 00:17:29,699 --> 00:17:32,700 Where is the Provost? Aren't you dying to meet the Provost? 442 00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:34,245 Sorry if I was being a bit pushy. 443 00:17:34,301 --> 00:17:35,704 No, please. You're a proud dad. 444 00:17:35,850 --> 00:17:38,977 Yeah, and we should be proud, right? Our kids done good. 445 00:17:39,488 --> 00:17:41,405 - Yeah. - It's just hard to let go, you know, 446 00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:43,703 after all those years of looking over their homework 447 00:17:43,881 --> 00:17:47,247 and reading their papers, practicing lines with them for the school play, 448 00:17:47,478 --> 00:17:51,483 taking them to karate lessons, violin lessons, SAT prep courses. 449 00:17:51,745 --> 00:17:53,309 What about 5:00 a.m. hockey practice? 450 00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:54,784 Science projects. 451 00:17:54,925 --> 00:17:57,241 I helped Owen build a wave generator one year. 452 00:17:57,434 --> 00:18:00,275 $3,200. That's what it cost me to replace the kitchen tiles 453 00:18:00,488 --> 00:18:02,262 when the thing exploded in the middle of the night. 454 00:18:02,286 --> 00:18:04,648 - It exploded? - I sell ladies' shoes. 455 00:18:04,838 --> 00:18:06,754 What do I know about wave generators? 456 00:18:06,930 --> 00:18:08,333 Jake, Owen Huber's dad. 457 00:18:08,477 --> 00:18:10,474 - I'm Christopher. I'm... - Rory Gilmore's dad. 458 00:18:10,653 --> 00:18:12,250 I was just talking to your wife. 459 00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:14,373 Actually, I'm not his wife. 460 00:18:14,543 --> 00:18:17,071 I didn't say that you were. I was talking about his wife, Mrs. Gilmore. 461 00:18:17,095 --> 00:18:19,091 She's over there by the mimosas. 462 00:18:19,270 --> 00:18:21,027 (WOMEN LAUGHING) 463 00:18:21,194 --> 00:18:22,392 Unbelievable. 464 00:18:22,533 --> 00:18:23,571 (SCOFFS) 465 00:18:23,704 --> 00:18:27,230 I'm sorry. Will you excuse me? I'm gonna go talk to Mrs. Gilmore. 466 00:18:27,469 --> 00:18:29,033 Which lectures are you guys gonna hit? 467 00:18:29,184 --> 00:18:31,706 And I said to him, "They've tenured Bill Sunderland?" 468 00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:33,706 "Who's next, Carmen Electra?" 469 00:18:33,869 --> 00:18:35,193 (WOMEN LAUGHING) 470 00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:36,611 Good one, Mom. 471 00:18:36,755 --> 00:18:39,403 Lorelai. If you'll excuse us? 472 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,562 Lorelai. Well, my goodness. 473 00:18:41,733 --> 00:18:43,759 - What on earth are you doing here? - What am I doing here? 474 00:18:43,783 --> 00:18:45,684 Well, I think the question is, what are you doing here? 475 00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:46,985 It's Yale's parents' weekend. 476 00:18:47,130 --> 00:18:48,647 Yes, but you are not a parent. 477 00:18:48,803 --> 00:18:51,690 - I still can't believe you're here. - Mother, it's a parents' weekend. 478 00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:53,814 I'm a parent. That's why I'm here. I'm a parent. 479 00:18:53,990 --> 00:18:55,028 And I'm a grandparent. 480 00:18:55,161 --> 00:18:56,475 Right, a grandparent, not a parent. 481 00:18:56,499 --> 00:18:58,545 - A grandparent is a type of parent. - No, it's not. 482 00:18:58,675 --> 00:19:00,672 A grand piano is a type of piano, is it not? 483 00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:02,123 Well, you got me there, Riddler, 484 00:19:02,147 --> 00:19:05,274 but I hope that logic still works when I crash grandparents' weekend. 485 00:19:05,494 --> 00:19:06,852 Oh, please, Lorelai. 486 00:19:06,999 --> 00:19:09,968 Your father and I have been attending Rory's parents' weekends here at Yale 487 00:19:10,053 --> 00:19:12,371 since her freshman year. It's one of our little traditions. 488 00:19:12,395 --> 00:19:14,837 Oh, hello, Rachel. I'll see you at the field hockey game? 489 00:19:15,031 --> 00:19:18,271 It's one of your little traditions to pretend to be Rory's parents? 490 00:19:18,503 --> 00:19:19,906 Lorelai, what a surprise. 491 00:19:20,050 --> 00:19:21,534 Yes, it is a surprise. You know why? 492 00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:23,499 'Cause you guys aren't parents. Why are you here? 493 00:19:23,523 --> 00:19:26,650 I'm an alumnus, Lorelai. Also a visiting faculty member. 494 00:19:26,869 --> 00:19:28,387 And you'll remember, until recently, 495 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:31,749 your father and I were the ones taking responsibility for Rory's tuition. 496 00:19:31,972 --> 00:19:33,010 Yes, I remember. 497 00:19:33,144 --> 00:19:35,266 We felt someone ought to attend, for Rory's sake. 498 00:19:35,445 --> 00:19:39,085 - It's obviously not your kind of thing. - What is that supposed to mean? 499 00:19:39,544 --> 00:19:40,902 Well, I'm glad you're here. 500 00:19:41,050 --> 00:19:42,866 Thank you. Me, too. What's that supposed to mean? 501 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:46,131 You don't like these kinds of things. Things with schedules and name tags. 502 00:19:46,363 --> 00:19:47,687 You mock these kinds of things. 503 00:19:47,826 --> 00:19:49,903 Well, I'm here. I'm not mocking. I'm brunching. 504 00:19:50,086 --> 00:19:51,777 I think you'll find parents' weekend great fun. 505 00:19:51,801 --> 00:19:54,197 Thank you. It is. I am finding it great fun. 506 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,790 We always tour the campus, check in here at Branford, 507 00:19:56,988 --> 00:20:00,115 maybe take in a faculty lecture or two, and then take Rory out to dinner. 508 00:20:00,334 --> 00:20:01,977 You're taking Rory to dinner? 509 00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:06,058 We're going to Chez Zinjustin this year, a fabulous French restaurant. 510 00:20:06,316 --> 00:20:08,438 They have a crème brûlée that is to die for. 511 00:20:08,617 --> 00:20:09,700 Well, that sounds like fun. 512 00:20:09,746 --> 00:20:12,348 Too bad you're gonna miss the tour of the gemstones of Yale. 513 00:20:12,549 --> 00:20:14,635 The tour at Peabody? I thought that was much earlier. 514 00:20:14,766 --> 00:20:17,287 Yes, well, it is, for the general public. 515 00:20:17,485 --> 00:20:20,566 We signed up for a special evening one. Chris and I signed up weeks ago. 516 00:20:20,790 --> 00:20:21,828 Christopher's here? 517 00:20:21,961 --> 00:20:24,403 Yes, 'cause he's a parent. It's his weekend, too. 518 00:20:24,596 --> 00:20:28,841 So, we'll go to the tour and then probably hit a few panels, go to the... 519 00:20:29,114 --> 00:20:31,796 What is this you have on your name tag, "Zinf?" 520 00:20:32,001 --> 00:20:33,365 What is "Zinf?" Some kind of joke? 521 00:20:33,423 --> 00:20:36,344 Oh, it's an old, traditional Yale word thingy. 522 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,208 What is that word, "Zinf"? Is it Hebrew? 523 00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:40,557 Why is it on your name tag? 524 00:20:40,701 --> 00:20:42,768 You guys don't know? I thought you were all into Yale. 525 00:20:42,792 --> 00:20:44,231 Hello, Emily. Richard. 526 00:20:44,382 --> 00:20:45,545 Christopher. Nice to see you. 527 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:47,915 Hey, Lor, Professor Quincy's talk is about to start 528 00:20:48,105 --> 00:20:49,294 and I know you probably don't... 529 00:20:49,318 --> 00:20:52,525 Don't want to miss a word. Yes, that's true. 530 00:20:52,749 --> 00:20:55,876 Well, we've got to go. You enjoy your evening. 531 00:20:56,095 --> 00:20:58,412 But astrophysics waits for no man. 532 00:21:03,917 --> 00:21:06,485 When supernovae explode, they emit an energy 533 00:21:06,678 --> 00:21:09,486 that is four billion times greater than the sun. 534 00:21:10,109 --> 00:21:11,466 So powerful are these explosions 535 00:21:11,614 --> 00:21:15,094 that even though they're occurring halfway across the observable universe, 536 00:21:15,337 --> 00:21:17,813 some seven billion light-years away... 537 00:21:18,015 --> 00:21:19,371 My parents have got a lot of nerve, you know? 538 00:21:19,395 --> 00:21:21,438 That's one thing they've got, is nerve. 539 00:21:21,612 --> 00:21:25,583 They should put it to good use and start a knife-throwing contest or something. 540 00:21:25,837 --> 00:21:28,575 Lor... I mean, lunch? Please. 541 00:21:28,723 --> 00:21:32,089 They get dinner, and we get lunch? Lunch is such a booby prize. 542 00:21:32,321 --> 00:21:33,759 We would be able to see 543 00:21:33,910 --> 00:21:36,718 that the expansion of the universe was slowing down. 544 00:21:36,922 --> 00:21:40,368 I just can't believe Rory didn't tell us that they were coming, you know. 545 00:21:40,603 --> 00:21:45,053 Write her. "Rory, you little rat." 546 00:21:45,540 --> 00:21:47,481 But we've learned that the expansion of the universe 547 00:21:47,505 --> 00:21:50,266 is not slowing down. It's speeding up. 548 00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:53,842 She says that she assumed that we knew they were coming. 549 00:21:54,073 --> 00:21:57,279 "When you assume, you make..." 550 00:21:57,503 --> 00:21:58,506 (SHUSHING) 551 00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:01,973 Something else is happening in the universe 552 00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:04,631 that is counteracting the powerful force of gravity, 553 00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:06,866 and that's what we call "dark energy." 554 00:22:07,041 --> 00:22:08,318 Hey, you know what? 555 00:22:08,463 --> 00:22:10,699 We should have lunch at Chez Zinjustin. 556 00:22:10,889 --> 00:22:12,710 I hear they have a crème brûlée to die for. 557 00:22:12,722 --> 00:22:13,537 Sure. Sounds good. 558 00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:14,771 Okay. 559 00:22:16,286 --> 00:22:17,684 You can't make a phone call in here. 560 00:22:17,708 --> 00:22:19,590 I want to make sure we get a reservation. 561 00:22:19,757 --> 00:22:20,909 Back in the 1930s. 562 00:22:21,054 --> 00:22:23,416 So, it may be that Einstein was right all along. 563 00:22:23,605 --> 00:22:26,207 Turns out, the guy was pretty smart. 564 00:22:30,926 --> 00:22:33,082 All right, are there any questions? 565 00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:34,467 - Yes? - Yeah, how can we tell 566 00:22:34,608 --> 00:22:38,009 whether dark energy is the same thing as the cosmological constant? 567 00:22:38,246 --> 00:22:39,479 Excellent question. 568 00:22:39,627 --> 00:22:43,073 More thorough measurement from observatories on the ground, 569 00:22:43,308 --> 00:22:45,625 from the Hubble Space Telescope... 570 00:22:49,541 --> 00:22:51,619 I was making ratatouille anyway. 571 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,078 Excuse me? 572 00:22:53,264 --> 00:22:56,345 Perfectly good vegetables, and I was making ratatouille anyway, 573 00:22:56,569 --> 00:22:58,772 and no sense in wasting them. 574 00:22:58,953 --> 00:23:00,676 Did I miss something? 575 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,962 Not like there's anything to feel guilty about. 576 00:23:04,140 --> 00:23:08,545 Jackson sells his vegetables all over town. I'm not just gonna throw these away. 577 00:23:08,825 --> 00:23:10,662 Just because Lorelai is away does not mean 578 00:23:10,833 --> 00:23:13,880 that I'm obligated to listen to your incessant prattling. 579 00:23:14,180 --> 00:23:16,382 I mean, it would be wrong to waste vegetables. 580 00:23:16,564 --> 00:23:18,686 Wasting vegetables is wrong. 581 00:23:18,864 --> 00:23:20,861 I will listen to you on one condition. 582 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:22,523 Call me "Captain." 583 00:23:22,672 --> 00:23:24,395 - No. - Fine. 584 00:23:25,265 --> 00:23:27,707 Okay. Captain. 585 00:23:29,992 --> 00:23:31,030 Yes? 586 00:23:31,163 --> 00:23:35,373 The point is that Jackson's vegetables are top-of-the-line, first-rate. 587 00:23:35,639 --> 00:23:39,530 But they're his vegetables, you know, and these aren't. 588 00:23:39,780 --> 00:23:43,831 These have something different to offer and I shouldn't feel guilty about... 589 00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:46,930 You know what? It's not worth it. 590 00:23:50,657 --> 00:23:54,183 It's just ratatouille, okay? Nothing to get all riled up about. 591 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:57,357 Caesar, I'm back. 592 00:23:57,935 --> 00:24:01,016 Hey, Luke, you want to grab a cold one tonight, bird-dog some chicas? 593 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:02,278 What? 594 00:24:02,411 --> 00:24:06,303 As of 0700 this evening, I'm going to be a free man. 595 00:24:06,552 --> 00:24:08,070 - You are? - I am. 596 00:24:08,225 --> 00:24:11,911 Giving Lulu the old heave-ho, hitting the eject button. 597 00:24:12,158 --> 00:24:13,310 Kirk? 598 00:24:13,455 --> 00:24:15,452 - I owe it all to you, buddy. - Me? 599 00:24:15,630 --> 00:24:16,908 You inspired me. 600 00:24:17,052 --> 00:24:19,654 I look at you, and I think, "This guy's doing it right." 601 00:24:19,855 --> 00:24:21,532 Slave to no master. 602 00:24:21,862 --> 00:24:24,589 You come home at 3:00 in the morning, no one cares. 603 00:24:24,791 --> 00:24:27,359 You want to eat dessert for dinner, no one cares. 604 00:24:27,551 --> 00:24:31,237 You walk around in your tube socks and tighty-whiteys, no one cares. 605 00:24:31,484 --> 00:24:34,484 No one cares what you do or where you go. 606 00:24:35,583 --> 00:24:37,340 So, what do you say, Luke? 607 00:24:37,507 --> 00:24:41,034 You want to be my wingman, Goose to my Maverick? 608 00:24:49,597 --> 00:24:53,488 Listen, you pinhead, you should be kissing the ground that Lulu walks on. 609 00:24:53,738 --> 00:24:56,865 Why that sweet girl lets you within 100 miles of her 610 00:24:57,085 --> 00:24:59,001 is beyond me, but she does. 611 00:24:59,176 --> 00:25:02,223 You are the luckiest man on the planet to have a girl like that 612 00:25:02,439 --> 00:25:04,321 looking out for you and caring about you, 613 00:25:04,489 --> 00:25:06,965 and if you say so much as one unkind word to her, 614 00:25:07,165 --> 00:25:10,132 I will personally break every bone in your body. 615 00:25:10,345 --> 00:25:11,669 You got me? 616 00:25:21,263 --> 00:25:22,828 So, what did you end up putting on the front page? 617 00:25:22,852 --> 00:25:23,891 Don't play dumb, Paris. 618 00:25:24,024 --> 00:25:26,180 My early admission, early actions piece. No kidding. 619 00:25:26,366 --> 00:25:27,883 It was a good article. 620 00:25:28,416 --> 00:25:29,579 I'm hardly ever here anymore, 621 00:25:29,629 --> 00:25:31,153 I'm putting in minimal effort when I am here, 622 00:25:31,177 --> 00:25:33,062 and yet my article is still the front-page lead. 623 00:25:33,227 --> 00:25:35,794 - It's almost too easy. - RORY: Well, it's not locked yet, Paris. 624 00:25:35,987 --> 00:25:38,138 Okay, A.K., you're gonna take care of that lacrosse caption? 625 00:25:38,162 --> 00:25:39,393 A.K.: What was wrong with what I had? 626 00:25:39,417 --> 00:25:41,360 Well, you might want to save the metaphors and alliterations 627 00:25:41,384 --> 00:25:43,409 for your poetry class and give me something short and snappy, 628 00:25:43,433 --> 00:25:45,829 - and you might want to mention lacrosse. - You got it. 629 00:25:46,026 --> 00:25:48,548 - I love how bossy she is. - Well, she is their boss. 630 00:25:48,745 --> 00:25:49,978 Yeah, I love that. 631 00:25:50,127 --> 00:25:52,012 She's like a dictator, only cute and nonviolent. 632 00:25:52,134 --> 00:25:53,940 And instead of a country, she has a newspaper. 633 00:25:54,100 --> 00:25:56,542 "Yale lacrosse team sticks it to Ivy League rivals?" 634 00:25:56,736 --> 00:25:59,303 Done. Okay, so A.K. will take care of that. 635 00:25:59,496 --> 00:26:01,573 And good job, everybody. Layout is locked. 636 00:26:01,756 --> 00:26:04,659 It's funny. It's almost like I'd have to work harder not to get the front page. 637 00:26:04,683 --> 00:26:05,961 Oh, hi, parents. 638 00:26:06,105 --> 00:26:08,501 You are the cutest fascist ever. 639 00:26:08,699 --> 00:26:10,263 Hi. So, how was the morning? 640 00:26:10,414 --> 00:26:13,142 Brunch was lovely, except, of course, for my parents skulking around, 641 00:26:13,343 --> 00:26:14,506 which no one warned me about. 642 00:26:14,597 --> 00:26:16,749 - Hey, I forgot. I'm still mad at you. - Don't be mad at me. 643 00:26:16,773 --> 00:26:18,757 All right, fine. But only 'cause you're the cutest despot ever. 644 00:26:18,781 --> 00:26:19,819 What else? 645 00:26:19,952 --> 00:26:22,029 We had a few close brushes with a cappella. 646 00:26:22,211 --> 00:26:23,614 That was a narrow escape. 647 00:26:23,758 --> 00:26:25,784 We were taking a shortcut on the way to the lecture hall 648 00:26:25,808 --> 00:26:27,750 and we almost shortcutted our way into a group of guys 649 00:26:27,774 --> 00:26:29,691 wearing tuxedoes, singing Zombie Jamboree. 650 00:26:29,866 --> 00:26:31,190 You guys went to a lecture? 651 00:26:31,329 --> 00:26:33,806 Yes, where I learned that the universe is expanding, 652 00:26:34,007 --> 00:26:36,324 and that your dad is a big question-asking geek. 653 00:26:36,517 --> 00:26:39,678 Hey, we have come to take you to lunch at Chez Zinjustin. 654 00:26:39,906 --> 00:26:41,183 Wow. Fancy. 655 00:26:41,328 --> 00:26:43,210 Apparently, the crème brûlée is to die for. 656 00:26:43,377 --> 00:26:44,692 Since when do you say, "To die for?" 657 00:26:44,716 --> 00:26:46,198 Since he got addicted to Project Runway. 658 00:26:46,222 --> 00:26:47,580 "Make it work." 659 00:26:47,728 --> 00:26:48,971 You guys should meet everybody. 660 00:26:49,067 --> 00:26:52,593 Mom and Dad, this is Sheila, Bill, A.K., Raj, and Joni. 661 00:26:52,832 --> 00:26:54,429 - Hi. - This is Christopher and Lorelai. 662 00:26:54,588 --> 00:26:56,391 - Hello. - And you know Paris, of course. 663 00:26:56,555 --> 00:26:59,396 - Lorelai. It's been too long. - Hi. Oh. Wow. Okay. 664 00:26:59,650 --> 00:27:00,802 And you know Christopher. 665 00:27:00,946 --> 00:27:02,930 I believe we've met in passing. Good to see you, Chris. 666 00:27:02,954 --> 00:27:04,472 Good to see you. 667 00:27:04,627 --> 00:27:06,944 We're just going to Chez Zinjustin for lunch. 668 00:27:07,138 --> 00:27:08,701 You mean Chez Fancy-Pants. 669 00:27:08,853 --> 00:27:11,614 My dad took me and my roommates there for dinner freshman year. 670 00:27:11,822 --> 00:27:14,105 Back when he still loved me. It's super nice. 671 00:27:14,291 --> 00:27:16,191 I hear they match your napkin to what you're wearing. 672 00:27:16,215 --> 00:27:18,577 I hear they fold your napkin into an origami swan 673 00:27:18,767 --> 00:27:20,010 every time you leave the table. 674 00:27:20,064 --> 00:27:22,716 I don't know about the napkins, but I hear the crème brûlée is to die for. 675 00:27:22,740 --> 00:27:23,743 I heard that, too. 676 00:27:23,870 --> 00:27:25,352 You know what? You should all come along. 677 00:27:25,376 --> 00:27:27,382 - Who, us? - Sure. Hey, let's bring the whole gang. 678 00:27:27,552 --> 00:27:28,698 Oh, Dad, you don't have to... 679 00:27:28,722 --> 00:27:30,873 I want to. It'll give me a chance to get to know all your friends. 680 00:27:30,897 --> 00:27:32,461 - People might have plans. - None. 681 00:27:32,612 --> 00:27:34,255 - There's a shocker. - I'm starving. 682 00:27:34,412 --> 00:27:37,539 Well, all right, then. Come on. Lunch on Rory's dad. 683 00:27:37,842 --> 00:27:39,040 - Thank you. - All right. 684 00:27:39,180 --> 00:27:40,538 - Sweet. - Cool. 685 00:27:40,811 --> 00:27:42,250 (PIANO PLAYING) 686 00:27:47,714 --> 00:27:50,110 (FRENCH ACCENT) Thank you. The wine is wonderful. 687 00:27:50,307 --> 00:27:52,304 (BRITISH ACCENT) I'm so glad you're enjoying it. 688 00:27:52,483 --> 00:27:55,093 Hey, this is a French restaurant. Shouldn't all the servers be French? 689 00:27:55,117 --> 00:27:57,354 (SERVER SPEAKING FRENCH) 690 00:27:57,879 --> 00:28:01,165 (FRENCH ACCENT) Where is the nearest subway station? 691 00:28:02,355 --> 00:28:04,557 - Another bottle, sir? - Absolutely. 692 00:28:05,116 --> 00:28:07,843 Anyway, the chalet in Killington had this open floor plan, 693 00:28:08,043 --> 00:28:10,200 sort of the way Rory's apartment's laid out. 694 00:28:10,386 --> 00:28:13,074 - I've never exactly seen Rory's apartment. - CHRISTOPHER: Oh, yeah? 695 00:28:13,273 --> 00:28:15,921 We mostly just hang at the paper and... Mostly at the paper. 696 00:28:16,117 --> 00:28:17,842 Well, anyway, I really want to rent a place 697 00:28:17,874 --> 00:28:21,081 at a ski resort this winter, maybe Killington or Sugarloaf. 698 00:28:21,304 --> 00:28:22,342 That sounds great. 699 00:28:22,476 --> 00:28:24,418 CHRISTOPHER: You know what, you should come, totally. 700 00:28:24,442 --> 00:28:26,046 We'll get all of Rory's friends together 701 00:28:26,114 --> 00:28:28,591 for a long weekend, ski, hang out. It'll be a blast. 702 00:28:28,792 --> 00:28:30,231 A ski trip sounds awesome. 703 00:28:30,382 --> 00:28:32,449 - SHEILA: Who's going skiing? - You are, this winter. 704 00:28:32,473 --> 00:28:34,151 - Everyone's invited. - SHEILA: Right on. 705 00:28:34,314 --> 00:28:36,716 You don't hang out with any of these people outside the paper, do you? 706 00:28:36,740 --> 00:28:38,064 Not so much. 707 00:28:38,246 --> 00:28:40,529 Okay. Who wants dessert? 708 00:28:40,713 --> 00:28:42,996 I'd love a crème brûlée. I've never had crème brûlée. 709 00:28:43,182 --> 00:28:45,749 - I could do with a cognac. - I wouldn't say no to a digestif. 710 00:28:45,943 --> 00:28:48,020 Crème brûlée for me and a cognac. 711 00:28:48,201 --> 00:28:51,202 You know what, I think we'd like to get crème brûlée and cognac all around. 712 00:28:51,423 --> 00:28:52,747 - Sorry. - Why sorry? 713 00:28:52,887 --> 00:28:54,770 - Sorry if this lunch is weird. - No. 714 00:28:54,936 --> 00:28:56,819 - Rory? - Okay, this lunch is weird. 715 00:28:56,986 --> 00:28:58,024 (CHUCKLES) 716 00:28:58,158 --> 00:29:00,040 I feel like we're those lame-o parents of yore. 717 00:29:00,208 --> 00:29:02,011 - Dad is trying kind of hard. - Yeah. 718 00:29:02,173 --> 00:29:03,906 I think any minute he's gonna start juggling plates. 719 00:29:03,930 --> 00:29:06,977 And hanging spoons off his nose. Yeah, but it's sweet. 720 00:29:07,193 --> 00:29:08,926 So, seriously, whenever you guys get a three-day weekend, 721 00:29:08,950 --> 00:29:10,103 you should totally come up. 722 00:29:10,247 --> 00:29:12,768 - Can we rent skis there? - Sure, or I can lend you a pair. 723 00:29:12,966 --> 00:29:15,648 We'll have you jumping moguls down a black diamond in no time, Raj. 724 00:29:15,852 --> 00:29:18,614 I guess it's good that I experience a little bit of lame-o parenting. 725 00:29:18,822 --> 00:29:20,214 I mean, after all, it's part of the 726 00:29:20,226 --> 00:29:21,991 quintessential college experience, isn't it? 727 00:29:22,210 --> 00:29:23,248 I guess. 728 00:29:23,382 --> 00:29:25,240 And it's great that you got to meet the whole gang 729 00:29:25,264 --> 00:29:27,386 before our big ski vacation together. 730 00:29:27,565 --> 00:29:29,082 (PDA RINGING) 731 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,117 - Uh-oh. - "Uh-oh" good or "uh-oh" bad? 732 00:29:31,288 --> 00:29:33,021 I guess there isn't really an "uh-oh" good, is there? 733 00:29:33,045 --> 00:29:34,448 Listen up, guys. 734 00:29:34,592 --> 00:29:36,670 A bunch of students that were protesting the war 735 00:29:36,851 --> 00:29:37,956 took over President Stewart's office, 736 00:29:37,980 --> 00:29:40,215 so it looks like we're gonna have to rework the whole edition. 737 00:29:40,239 --> 00:29:41,596 Why can't the news stop while we're eating? 738 00:29:41,620 --> 00:29:44,347 - I know, it's so impolite. - I just got a text with a photo. 739 00:29:44,548 --> 00:29:47,309 Looks like they're wearing George Bush masks and... 740 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,128 - Are those Condoleezza Rice masks? - They make Condoleezza masks? 741 00:29:51,325 --> 00:29:53,162 We've got to get on this, everybody. 742 00:29:53,332 --> 00:29:55,401 - So, you guys, I'm sorry. It looks like... - It's okay. Go. 743 00:29:55,425 --> 00:29:57,707 - Duty calls. - Okay, Sheila, get Keith on the phone, 744 00:29:57,892 --> 00:30:00,839 and see if you can get him down there. Actually, get Samantha down there, too. 745 00:30:00,863 --> 00:30:02,804 I want so many photos of this thing, I can make a flip book. 746 00:30:02,828 --> 00:30:04,184 Bill and A.K., get back to the office 747 00:30:04,208 --> 00:30:06,331 so you can proof the story as we're e-mailing it in. 748 00:30:06,509 --> 00:30:07,657 Everyone else, you're with me. 749 00:30:07,681 --> 00:30:09,372 - But what about the crème brûlée? - And our cognac? 750 00:30:09,396 --> 00:30:11,482 I have yet to taste the sweet nectar of crème brûlée. 751 00:30:11,654 --> 00:30:13,011 This is going to be our front page. 752 00:30:13,035 --> 00:30:14,393 Front page? Really? 753 00:30:14,541 --> 00:30:16,484 - I think the front page is fine as it is. - Paris. 754 00:30:16,508 --> 00:30:17,906 Come on, we all know these rabble-rousers 755 00:30:17,930 --> 00:30:19,746 are just looking for attention. Why indulge them? 756 00:30:19,770 --> 00:30:20,390 Let's go. 757 00:30:20,402 --> 00:30:22,931 I want to go. I want to report this story. 758 00:30:23,158 --> 00:30:25,441 I just want to do it after I eat my crème brûlée. 759 00:30:25,626 --> 00:30:29,153 I mean, what if tonight I get hit by lightning and die a crème brûlée virgin? 760 00:30:29,391 --> 00:30:31,148 A crème brûlée virgin? 761 00:30:31,315 --> 00:30:33,711 You know what? Enough. This is a major political protest. 762 00:30:33,909 --> 00:30:36,155 It's a big story, and it's going to go on our front page. 763 00:30:36,294 --> 00:30:37,985 Now get your drunk, crème brûlée-craving asses 764 00:30:38,009 --> 00:30:39,812 out of these chairs, and let's get to work. 765 00:30:39,974 --> 00:30:42,336 Okay, besides the lead, I'm going to need some color. 766 00:30:42,526 --> 00:30:44,008 What's going on behind the masks. That kind of thing. 767 00:30:44,032 --> 00:30:46,520 - Joni, you want to take a crack at that? - I'm a little tipsy. 768 00:30:46,584 --> 00:30:48,429 Okay, is there anyone who's not a little tipsy? 769 00:30:48,550 --> 00:30:49,553 Thanks for lunch, Dad. 770 00:30:49,679 --> 00:30:51,561 - Thank you. - Lunch was great. 771 00:30:51,729 --> 00:30:53,772 - Great meeting you. - See you later. 772 00:30:56,247 --> 00:30:59,135 Well, I hope you're hungry for some crème brûlée. 773 00:31:01,726 --> 00:31:03,973 Are you sure you want to fianchetto that bishop so early? 774 00:31:04,111 --> 00:31:05,970 I don't know. It depends on what "fianchetto" means. 775 00:31:05,994 --> 00:31:08,230 It means I'm gonna kick your butt if you make that move. 776 00:31:08,420 --> 00:31:09,567 Well, you're kicking my butt anyway, 777 00:31:09,591 --> 00:31:12,202 so I don't see how one fianchetto is gonna make that much of a difference. 778 00:31:12,226 --> 00:31:14,963 Besides, it sounds fancy and makes it seem like I know what I'm doing. 779 00:31:14,987 --> 00:31:16,585 You're not very good. 780 00:31:16,744 --> 00:31:18,102 LUKE: April. 781 00:31:18,334 --> 00:31:19,658 Sorry, I can be blunt. 782 00:31:19,797 --> 00:31:20,880 Tell it like it is, sister. 783 00:31:20,928 --> 00:31:22,844 Besides, later tonight, when we Boggle, 784 00:31:23,019 --> 00:31:25,175 which is what I was told we'd be playing tonight, 785 00:31:25,362 --> 00:31:26,843 it is your butt that is going to be kicked 786 00:31:26,867 --> 00:31:28,753 because I've been studying my seven-letter words 787 00:31:28,917 --> 00:31:30,640 that sound made-up but aren't. 788 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,843 "Palfrey." P-A-L-F-R-E-Y. 789 00:31:33,476 --> 00:31:35,362 - It's a saddle horse for a woman. - Impressive. 790 00:31:35,442 --> 00:31:38,649 Okay, so, Coach Bennett and I are gonna go out 791 00:31:38,872 --> 00:31:41,319 and have some dinner together and talk, and then I'll be home. 792 00:31:41,425 --> 00:31:44,951 Shouldn't be more than a couple hours. Just a dinner and some talking. 793 00:31:45,189 --> 00:31:47,340 Well, it would be weird if it was a dinner with no talking. 794 00:31:47,364 --> 00:31:48,367 True. 795 00:31:48,494 --> 00:31:50,143 And you should probably call her Susan tonight, 796 00:31:50,167 --> 00:31:52,615 you know, instead of Coach Bennett. I think she'd prefer that. 797 00:31:52,677 --> 00:31:54,410 - Good tip. - We'll hang out until you get back. 798 00:31:54,434 --> 00:31:56,042 Okay, so you got the number of the restaurant. 799 00:31:56,066 --> 00:31:58,793 I'm gonna have my cell phone on me, so if there are any problems... 800 00:31:58,993 --> 00:32:00,910 Thank you, Luke. Bye. 801 00:32:01,086 --> 00:32:02,728 - Bye, Dad. - See you later. 802 00:32:06,231 --> 00:32:07,873 - You okay? - I'm fine. 803 00:32:08,029 --> 00:32:09,866 Okay, now, it's your move, darling, 804 00:32:10,037 --> 00:32:13,837 unless you'd rather discuss zymurgy. Z-Y-M-U-R-G-Y. 805 00:32:14,095 --> 00:32:16,412 The branch of applied chemistry dealing with fermentation. 806 00:32:16,604 --> 00:32:18,681 All right, all right. We can play Boggle. 807 00:32:18,864 --> 00:32:19,867 Yes! 808 00:32:23,591 --> 00:32:25,188 Hello. Two? 809 00:32:25,347 --> 00:32:27,025 Okay, right this way. 810 00:32:31,622 --> 00:32:33,060 There you go. 811 00:32:34,550 --> 00:32:35,823 Your waitress will be right with you. 812 00:32:35,847 --> 00:32:38,003 Thank you. Oh, no. Come sit with me. 813 00:32:38,189 --> 00:32:40,312 - There? - Yeah. It's cozier. 814 00:32:40,490 --> 00:32:41,608 Oh, okay. 815 00:32:41,745 --> 00:32:43,343 I hate being so far away. 816 00:32:43,502 --> 00:32:44,540 (CHUCKLES) 817 00:32:46,681 --> 00:32:47,684 (CLEARS THROAT) 818 00:32:48,730 --> 00:32:50,613 - Wow! - I know, right? 819 00:32:50,780 --> 00:32:52,458 It's my favorite restaurant. 820 00:32:52,621 --> 00:32:54,103 And you said you liked to eat healthy, so... 821 00:32:54,127 --> 00:32:55,770 Yeah. I've never eaten this healthy. 822 00:32:55,926 --> 00:32:58,242 So, vegan doesn't just mean vegetarian. 823 00:32:58,436 --> 00:33:02,361 No, no animal products of any kind. No eggs, no milk, no cheese. 824 00:33:02,619 --> 00:33:05,460 - Just soy everything. - Soy steak is scrumptious. 825 00:33:05,672 --> 00:33:07,197 I swear you totally can't tell the difference. 826 00:33:07,221 --> 00:33:08,738 Oh, I bet I can. 827 00:33:09,061 --> 00:33:11,983 - So, Luke, let me ask you a question. - Okay. 828 00:33:12,784 --> 00:33:16,755 Who would play you in the Luke Danes movie? 829 00:33:17,343 --> 00:33:18,346 Huh? 830 00:33:18,473 --> 00:33:19,831 Alive or dead. 831 00:33:19,979 --> 00:33:22,056 I never really thought about that. 832 00:33:22,238 --> 00:33:23,594 Take your time. Do you want to know mine? 833 00:33:23,618 --> 00:33:24,656 Sure. 834 00:33:24,789 --> 00:33:25,827 (CHUCKLES) 835 00:33:25,961 --> 00:33:27,478 Marlene Dietrich. 836 00:33:27,634 --> 00:33:29,276 - Right? - I don't know who that is. 837 00:33:29,433 --> 00:33:30,556 - Sure you do. - No, I don't. 838 00:33:30,604 --> 00:33:32,247 - Yes, you do. Think. - I don't. 839 00:33:32,403 --> 00:33:36,408 Touch of Evil, The Lady ls Willing, Destry Rides Again. 840 00:33:36,669 --> 00:33:38,986 "Your husband would rather be cheated by me" 841 00:33:39,179 --> 00:33:41,017 "than married to you." 842 00:33:41,187 --> 00:33:42,386 Oh, yeah, sure. 843 00:33:42,525 --> 00:33:46,576 My last boyfriend, The Ex, he was always calling me, "Marlene!" 844 00:33:46,834 --> 00:33:48,877 Oh, you know what? I think you might know him. 845 00:33:49,051 --> 00:33:52,498 - Bob McCullough, Laura's father? - No, I don't think I do. 846 00:33:52,732 --> 00:33:55,459 We lived together for four months, 847 00:33:55,661 --> 00:33:58,948 and then he just went totally psycho. 848 00:33:59,174 --> 00:34:00,498 (SHOUTS) Psycho! 849 00:34:00,806 --> 00:34:03,133 I swore I wasn't gonna date anymore single dads after that, 850 00:34:03,315 --> 00:34:04,993 but here I am. 851 00:34:05,157 --> 00:34:06,195 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 852 00:34:06,872 --> 00:34:08,550 You hooked me. 853 00:34:08,712 --> 00:34:11,919 Well, you know what they say, third time's a charm. 854 00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:14,922 - Can I get anybody a drink? - Yes, please. 855 00:34:15,112 --> 00:34:17,508 LORELAI: I heard a bone crack, several bones cracking. 856 00:34:17,706 --> 00:34:19,313 Crack, crack, crack. It was like fireworks. 857 00:34:19,337 --> 00:34:21,095 Rugby is a violent sport. 858 00:34:21,261 --> 00:34:23,705 I guess the fact that an ambulance was parked by the side of the field 859 00:34:23,729 --> 00:34:25,671 before the game even started should've been my first clue. 860 00:34:25,695 --> 00:34:27,821 They don't park ambulances next to tetherball matches. 861 00:34:27,955 --> 00:34:28,993 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 862 00:34:29,126 --> 00:34:32,971 I can't believe we lost. It was so violent. I guess they were just violent-er. 863 00:34:33,225 --> 00:34:34,583 It's Rory. 864 00:34:34,731 --> 00:34:36,496 They're at the paper. They're still working. 865 00:34:36,530 --> 00:34:39,816 - Man! - Half of them are drunk or hung over. 866 00:34:40,043 --> 00:34:41,960 - Joni passed out. - Oh, jeez. 867 00:34:42,135 --> 00:34:43,617 Looks like she's gonna be there all night. 868 00:34:43,641 --> 00:34:45,124 Oh, that's not good news. 869 00:34:45,272 --> 00:34:47,155 Well, silver lining. 870 00:34:47,323 --> 00:34:49,684 That means she won't get to have dinner with my parents. 871 00:34:49,874 --> 00:34:53,080 We got the only meal. We won parents' weekend, 872 00:34:53,304 --> 00:34:54,660 and we didn't even break any bones. 873 00:34:54,684 --> 00:34:56,202 Yeah. Some meal. 874 00:34:56,692 --> 00:34:57,844 What's wrong? 875 00:34:57,989 --> 00:35:00,066 Nothing. I just... I... 876 00:35:00,582 --> 00:35:02,441 - I screwed up. - What do you mean, you screwed up? 877 00:35:02,465 --> 00:35:04,671 I mean, it's my fault that Rory's got to work all night. 878 00:35:04,849 --> 00:35:07,325 What do you mean? You staged the student protest? 879 00:35:07,527 --> 00:35:10,813 You wore a Condi mask and manacled yourself to the President's door? 880 00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,327 The big meal, ordering all that wine. Her staff's a mess, it's my fault. 881 00:35:14,554 --> 00:35:16,120 Honey, if those kids are gonna be journalists, 882 00:35:16,144 --> 00:35:17,508 they have to learn to write drunk. 883 00:35:17,608 --> 00:35:19,605 I'm trying to be Superdad or something. 884 00:35:19,783 --> 00:35:21,380 - Why? - I don't know. 885 00:35:21,540 --> 00:35:24,701 Does it have to do with the name tag-in-the-middle-of-the-chest thing? 886 00:35:24,929 --> 00:35:28,216 At the brunch, all the other dads were talking about how they took their kids 887 00:35:28,442 --> 00:35:30,679 to hockey practice and violin lessons, 888 00:35:30,868 --> 00:35:34,314 and helped them study for the SATs, and I just stood there like a jerk 889 00:35:34,549 --> 00:35:36,466 nodding my head like I'd done all those things. 890 00:35:36,641 --> 00:35:39,003 - Oh, honey. - I didn't do any of those things. 891 00:35:39,193 --> 00:35:42,274 Well, first of all, Rory didn't need someone to check her homework. 892 00:35:42,497 --> 00:35:43,936 She was a self-starter. 893 00:35:44,087 --> 00:35:45,527 Second of all, she wasn't interested in hockey, 894 00:35:45,551 --> 00:35:48,393 and third of all, you don't have to try to be Superdad. 895 00:35:48,604 --> 00:35:51,891 - I feel like I should be. - No. You can just relax, you know? 896 00:35:52,286 --> 00:35:54,283 Be yourself. Be the dad that you are. 897 00:35:54,462 --> 00:35:56,698 Clark Kent dad, Christopher Hayden dad. 898 00:35:56,888 --> 00:35:58,086 I guess. 899 00:35:58,226 --> 00:35:59,424 Totally. 900 00:36:00,736 --> 00:36:02,094 It's just... It's too late. 901 00:36:02,241 --> 00:36:05,882 I mean, I've got G.G., and that's great, but Rory... Rory's grown up. 902 00:36:06,341 --> 00:36:07,939 - I missed it. - You didn't miss it. 903 00:36:08,099 --> 00:36:09,457 She's a senior in college, Lor. 904 00:36:09,604 --> 00:36:13,735 We have years of hard parenting ahead. She is due for a quarter-life crisis. 905 00:36:13,996 --> 00:36:15,993 All those years of stability do not bode well. 906 00:36:16,171 --> 00:36:17,361 We're gonna have plenty to do. 907 00:36:17,385 --> 00:36:18,663 - Yeah? - Yeah. 908 00:36:18,807 --> 00:36:22,607 And the best part is we get to deal with it together. 909 00:36:22,865 --> 00:36:24,098 - Yeah? - Yeah. 910 00:36:25,374 --> 00:36:26,813 Quarter-life crisis, huh? 911 00:36:26,964 --> 00:36:30,045 I'm pretty sure she's gonna spin wildly out of control. 912 00:36:30,269 --> 00:36:31,833 We're gonna have to do an intervention, 913 00:36:31,984 --> 00:36:34,266 put her through rehab, give her a place to stay 914 00:36:34,452 --> 00:36:36,894 while she's divorcing the Hell's Angel. 915 00:36:59,048 --> 00:37:01,125 Divine. The tomatoes are so fresh and meaty. 916 00:37:01,308 --> 00:37:04,421 The eggplant is what puts it over the top. The perfect sweetness. Your best ever. 917 00:37:04,445 --> 00:37:05,644 Well, I wouldn't say my best. 918 00:37:05,783 --> 00:37:08,431 It is. It's a whole new level of flavor, like a vegetable symphony. 919 00:37:08,586 --> 00:37:10,152 - What do you think, Captain? - It's true. 920 00:37:10,176 --> 00:37:13,497 It even surpasses my mother's, and that woman made ratatouille for a living. 921 00:37:13,731 --> 00:37:15,854 Well done, Sookie. 922 00:37:16,032 --> 00:37:17,310 (PRAISING IN ITALIAN) 923 00:37:17,496 --> 00:37:20,703 It's just ratatouille, okay? Now, go, get back to work. 924 00:37:20,926 --> 00:37:23,129 Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. 925 00:37:23,310 --> 00:37:24,429 - Hey. - Hey! 926 00:37:24,565 --> 00:37:26,562 - You ready to go? - Ready-Freddy! 927 00:37:26,741 --> 00:37:30,061 Just dropped the kids off at the Bostics'. They made me take my shoes off again. 928 00:37:30,297 --> 00:37:31,695 They make everybody take off their shoes. 929 00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,289 I can't remember the last time I saw the Bostics in anything but socks. 930 00:37:34,313 --> 00:37:37,200 But then they had the audacity to complain that my feet smelled. 931 00:37:37,408 --> 00:37:38,446 They really complained? 932 00:37:38,579 --> 00:37:40,986 Well, they made sour faces when they thought I wasn't looking 933 00:37:41,048 --> 00:37:43,524 - and rolled their eyes. - Oh, Jackson. 934 00:37:43,724 --> 00:37:45,530 What do they expect? Of course, my feet smell. 935 00:37:45,648 --> 00:37:47,371 I work in the fields all day. 936 00:37:47,531 --> 00:37:50,379 That's why I wear these big, thick boots, in order to contain the smell. 937 00:37:50,542 --> 00:37:52,318 I swear, the next time they come over to the house, 938 00:37:52,342 --> 00:37:55,469 I'm gonna ask them to take off their pants or something. It's outrageous! 939 00:37:55,687 --> 00:37:57,970 - I'm sorry, honey. - Yeah, well... 940 00:37:58,156 --> 00:38:00,997 I know the Bostics are a little nutso. 941 00:38:01,210 --> 00:38:03,526 Very nutso. Who irons their couch? 942 00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:07,325 But Martha and Davey love going over there and playing with Kayla and Ryan. 943 00:38:07,568 --> 00:38:10,045 And when they come back, they're so polite and cordial 944 00:38:10,245 --> 00:38:12,128 for like an hour, which is nice. 945 00:38:12,295 --> 00:38:14,018 That is a bonus, but still. 946 00:38:14,178 --> 00:38:16,175 I know. I'll get my purse. 947 00:38:24,217 --> 00:38:26,420 - No! - What? 948 00:38:26,601 --> 00:38:29,328 Bad batch! Saving it for the horses. 949 00:38:29,530 --> 00:38:31,766 But you never mess up your ratatouille. 950 00:38:31,956 --> 00:38:34,957 Well, everyone's allowed a mistake or two here and there. 951 00:38:35,176 --> 00:38:37,093 You know what? I'm just gonna just junk it. 952 00:38:37,269 --> 00:38:39,231 Are you sure? It smells fantastic. 953 00:38:39,402 --> 00:38:43,247 I'm sure. Trust me, it's awful. Hey, you know what I was thinking? 954 00:38:43,501 --> 00:38:46,787 What do you think about a nice romantic dinner, huh? 955 00:38:47,015 --> 00:38:49,332 - How about Cicero's? - Wow. Cicero's. 956 00:38:49,525 --> 00:38:50,563 Yeah. 957 00:38:50,696 --> 00:38:52,179 They have good ratatouille. 958 00:38:52,328 --> 00:38:54,564 Okay, so long as I can keep my shoes on. 959 00:38:54,754 --> 00:38:58,395 Unless Cicero's has suddenly gone Japanese, I think we're good. 960 00:39:24,621 --> 00:39:29,836 WOMAN ON T.V.: The first name that I'm going to call is... A.J. 961 00:39:30,143 --> 00:39:31,581 She was very well-behaved. 962 00:39:31,732 --> 00:39:33,330 Glad to hear it. Lane? 963 00:39:34,159 --> 00:39:36,281 - Oh, hey, Luke. - I'm home. 964 00:39:36,459 --> 00:39:38,582 You zonked out about 20 minutes ago. 965 00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:42,047 Well, I should probably do the rest of my zonking in my own apartment. 966 00:39:42,273 --> 00:39:44,091 Thank you for hanging out with me tonight, April. 967 00:39:44,115 --> 00:39:45,188 My pleasure. 968 00:39:45,327 --> 00:39:48,009 - See you tomorrow, Luke. - See you tomorrow, Lane. 969 00:39:48,716 --> 00:39:49,994 So, you guys had fun? 970 00:39:50,138 --> 00:39:51,976 Totally. Lane's awesome. 971 00:39:52,355 --> 00:39:55,116 - How about you? - It was nice, you know? 972 00:39:55,325 --> 00:39:57,767 We had vegan food. 973 00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,798 You couldn't have liked that. 974 00:39:59,968 --> 00:40:03,654 I did not, but Coach Bennett really seemed to enjoy it. 975 00:40:04,277 --> 00:40:06,514 So, you're still calling her Coach Bennett? 976 00:40:06,703 --> 00:40:09,830 Oh, I think she'll just remain Coach Bennett to me. 977 00:40:10,133 --> 00:40:11,811 That's cool. 978 00:40:12,266 --> 00:40:14,263 Hey, is that pizza still up for grabs? 979 00:40:14,442 --> 00:40:15,445 Go crazy. 980 00:40:15,571 --> 00:40:17,888 Oh, I'm starving. Real cheese. 981 00:40:18,374 --> 00:40:21,216 We also ordered sticky buns. 982 00:40:21,427 --> 00:40:22,751 Bring it on. 983 00:40:25,318 --> 00:40:27,344 WOMAN ON T.V.: Everybody's just working it today, aren't they? 984 00:40:27,368 --> 00:40:29,728 You're still in the running towards becoming America's next top model. 985 00:40:29,752 --> 00:40:30,955 Thank you for believing in me. 986 00:40:31,258 --> 00:40:33,461 - No quote from President Stewart yet? - Nothing. 987 00:40:33,642 --> 00:40:36,003 - Have we picked the photo? - Sheila's got some options for you. 988 00:40:36,027 --> 00:40:37,030 Layout's coming along. 989 00:40:37,156 --> 00:40:39,202 Good. Okay. Keep it moving. We have a deadline here. 990 00:40:39,248 --> 00:40:40,286 (PHONE RINGING) 991 00:40:40,419 --> 00:40:42,656 (GROANING) Who made this phone so loud? 992 00:40:42,845 --> 00:40:44,078 Yale Daily News. 993 00:40:44,267 --> 00:40:45,500 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 994 00:40:45,648 --> 00:40:46,651 Will do. 995 00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:48,845 We got ourselves a quote. Steve's e-mailing it in now. 996 00:40:48,869 --> 00:40:50,895 Great. Okay, would you mind inputting these corrections? 997 00:40:50,919 --> 00:40:52,882 Anything to get away from that phone. 998 00:40:53,052 --> 00:40:54,855 - Hey, gang. - Hey. 999 00:40:55,018 --> 00:40:56,696 We come bearing donuts and coffee. 1000 00:40:56,858 --> 00:40:59,010 Gather round. We hear the chocolate éclairs are to die for. 1001 00:40:59,034 --> 00:41:00,072 Thanks, guys. 1002 00:41:00,205 --> 00:41:02,168 We figured you'd need some all-nighter supplies. 1003 00:41:02,338 --> 00:41:03,376 - Hey. - Hey. 1004 00:41:03,510 --> 00:41:06,511 So, I'm sorry about getting your staff drunk. 1005 00:41:06,772 --> 00:41:07,810 Oh, don't worry about it. 1006 00:41:07,944 --> 00:41:09,217 You seemed pretty upset at the restaurant. 1007 00:41:09,241 --> 00:41:10,926 I was just stressed out. It's no big deal. 1008 00:41:10,956 --> 00:41:12,280 - So, you're not mad? - No. 1009 00:41:12,420 --> 00:41:14,497 But, Dad, I think I would've liked it better 1010 00:41:14,679 --> 00:41:17,600 if on parents' weekend, I could've just had lunch with my parents. 1011 00:41:17,816 --> 00:41:21,262 Yeah, that would've been better. Next year, grad school parents' weekend. 1012 00:41:21,498 --> 00:41:24,276 Hey, if it's okay with you, you mind if we hang out and watch you in action? 1013 00:41:24,300 --> 00:41:26,451 Oh, I don't think you can hang out 'cause you're gonna be late. 1014 00:41:26,475 --> 00:41:27,478 Late for? 1015 00:41:27,605 --> 00:41:29,887 For your dinner reservations at Chez Zinjustin. 1016 00:41:30,073 --> 00:41:32,015 I mean, I told Grandma and Grandpa that I couldn't make it, 1017 00:41:32,039 --> 00:41:34,560 but I think I accidentally told them that you guys were free. 1018 00:41:34,758 --> 00:41:36,241 - You're evil. - You were mad. 1019 00:41:36,389 --> 00:41:39,870 Isn't that a coincidence that they had a reservation there, too? 1020 00:41:40,112 --> 00:41:42,682 Oh, don't eat that donut 'cause I hear they have a crème brûlée that is... 1021 00:41:42,706 --> 00:41:43,744 Don't. 1022 00:41:43,877 --> 00:41:45,777 Come on, get your lame-o parent selves out the door. 1023 00:41:45,801 --> 00:41:47,116 You don't want to be late. That'll tick them off. 1024 00:41:47,140 --> 00:41:48,178 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 1025 00:41:48,311 --> 00:41:49,795 Bye-bye.