Hi, hello, yes, I'm here to pick up my daughter.
Your daughter's name?
Rory Gilmore, Lorelai Gilmore. She goes by Rory.
- I don't know what you have her under. - Rory Gilmore.
That's good, 'cause she'll answer to that. Not that she won't to the other, but...
- She'll be out in a minute. - Okay, thanks.
Sorry, when you say, "She'll be out," do you mean out of a cell?
Yep.
[Sighs deeply]
So she was in a cell.
That's where we usually put people when they're arrested.
Was she in the cell alone?
It was a slow night, she had the place to herself.
That's good.
I mean, not that she's a snob, she can get along with anyone.
It's just, it was her first time in a cell, so I didn't want her to be attacked.
You know, like in Caged Heat. Or was it Switchblade Sisters?
Anyway, I mean, my daughter never gets into trouble...
except, you know, now.
But on the whole, the kid is an angel. She goes to Yale.
- She'll be out in a minute. - Right.
I'm sorry, are you, like, solving something?
What can I do for you?
I was just wondering, is Rory "in the system" now?
Because I just remembered when Sipowicz's son accidentally got arrested...
because he looked like a drug dealer, Sipowicz was freaked out...
that the son was gonna wind up in the system.
And I just wonder, you know, should I be freaked out?
And also, what exactly is "the system"?
She's gotta go to court. They'll figure out what's gonna happen.
And am I gonna have to pay anything? I mean, bail, does she need bail?
They're releasing her on a PTA, for Promise To Appear.
She will. She will appear. She might be there before you will.
- I won't be there. - Right.
But she will 'cause she promised. I'll be over there.
[Laughing and chattering outside]
Well, this is much nicer than the last place we picked him up from.
Yes, we definitely need to keep this one in mind for future infractions.
Excuse me, Officer, we were wondering if one Logan Huntzberger...
has been released from your fine custody yet?
- Nope, have a seat. - We'll be over here.
And if you have a moment, we'd like to order some appetizers.
So typical. Logan would have to get busted during the one time...
I almost got Rosemarie to agree to go home with me.
It's vintage Huntzberger, my friend. Friday nights end in jail.
- The boy knows how to party. - Stealing Richardson's boat, genius.
Let's not forget the lovely Rory.
Yes. Maxwell Smart finally found his 99.
- Rory Gilmore's coming out now. - Thank you.
- You're here for Rory? - Yeah.
We would've taken her home, love.
- Just so you know, she was covered. - Wow, the relief.
- I'm Colin. This is Finn. And you are... - Her mother.
My God, those are good genes.
[Electronic buzzing]
You got everything?
Let's go.
[Laughing]
What's on your hands?
Fingerprints.
Right.
Do you want to go in and eat or take it home?
- Home. - Okay.
We're having a bike race. Bike race through town, first one ever.
Taylor's really excited. Maybe Sheryl Crow will come.
- Maybe. - Probably not.
I'm running out of small talk, kid.
Gotta get around to the main event here soon.
- I know. - Rory, what happened?
[Cell phone rings]
- No, don't answer it. - It's Logan.
- Rory, don't answer it. - I have to.
I don't want you talking to him right now.
- Why not? - Why not? He just got you arrested.
- He did not. - Don't protect him.
- It was my idea. - Come on.
Logan was at his sister's engagement party...
having a perfectly lovely time when I showed up and dragged him off.
He spent the night in jail because of me. I have to take this call.
Hey, are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm good. I was just worried about you.
Lorelai.
You-hoo!
Behind you, back here, turn around. Turn around, turn around.
Yes, Taylor.
You know we have a race coming through here tomorrow.
Yeah, it says it on the banners.
The Fifth Annual Connecticut Bike Race.
- It's a very prestigious race. - I'm sure.
Now, I don't know if you've noticed the no-parking signs I've been putting out.
I didn't, Taylor.
I swear, if something doesn't have a Marc Jacobs label on it...
you girls just don't notice it.
Well, I have just put no-parking signs all up and down the street here...
in hopes of clearing a safe and unobstructed path through Stars Hollow.
- Well, what a super goal, Taylor. - Thank you.
Now, if you notice, your jeep is currently parked...
in what is about to become a no-parking zone...
- Really? - As of 10:00 tonight.
At 10:01 we will be towing.
I'm coming for you.
Okay, Taylor, it's 9:55. We still have six minutes.
Yes, but it would be easier if you would just move the car now.
If it were easy, then anyone could do it. And I'm a maverick.
Look what Jane Fonda hath wrought.
Rory stole a yacht. How's your night been?
What? What do you mean, "Rory stole a yacht"?
I just got back from picking Rory up from the Bridgeport Police Department...
where she was brought...
following her arrest for grand theft boating.
Tell me what happened.
I don't know what happened, I haven't gotten the details yet.
I did get a piece of paper with a court date on it, though, June 3.
Sounds like a good day to go to court, don't you think?
- Was she with that Logan kid? - Yes, he was arrested, too.
Well, there you go. He got her into this.
- That's what I said. I need hand soap. - What?
She got ink all over her hands from the fingerprinting and I'm out of soap.
- I have soap. - Maybe she needs special soap.
Is there special soap?
'Cause it's special ink, it must be special ink, right?
- I don't... - I mean, of course.
They're not gonna use normal ink for fingerprinting.
It's supposed to brand you and humiliate you.
Normal ink wouldn't humiliate you unless you're Rory and your mother has no soap.
What are you doing?
I should make a list. I'm gonna forget things.
- I just need a pen. - Here.
Okay, so... Okay, buy soap.
Let's see, what else? Buy soap. Buy soap.
- Get lawyer. - I can help you with a lawyer.
Crap, Rory's car. It must still be at the marina.
She's gonna have to pick it up, if it hasn't been impounded.
- How do I find out if it's been impounded? - I'm sure you can call down there.
God, every 10 seconds something else pops into my head.
I'm just not prepared for this.
I mean, Rory never even shoplifted. Not a candy bar, not a lipstick.
She forgot to return a library book once and she was so guilty about it...
that she grounded herself. I mean, can you imagine?
She was just sitting there in her bedroom, yelling at me:
"Now no one else got to read The Iliad this week because of me."
- What can I do? - Rory hasn't eaten.
- I can make you some burgers. - No, just donuts.
We need to get home, get to the bottom of this.
[Sighing] Okay, this is not the end of the world, right?
I mean, Rory's young, young people do stupid things.
I got pregnant. This is better because it's not so permanent.
Unless it's on her permanent record. Then does that mean she can't vote?
I don't think...
I thought I read if you commit a felony, you can't vote.
Rory loves to vote.
She switched her "I voted" sticker from outfit to outfit this year...
and then she Scotch-taped it to her purse. She has to be able to vote.
You want me to come with you when you talk to her?
No, thanks. She's in the car. I should go.
- Thanks for the donuts. - Yeah, sure.
Kirk just came by and gave us a two-minute warning.
Any idea what he's talking about?
Who ever has any idea what Kirk's talking about? Here.
Thanks.
Rory, what happened tonight?
- I stole a yacht. - Yes, I know.
The nice men with the guns told me. Why?
I just...
I was really upset and I felt like I had to do something.
Okay, sure, I get that.
When I'm upset and I need to do something, I eat a lot of pound cake.
- They don't have pound cake at Yale? - No, they have pound cake at Yale.
Mitchum Huntzberger talked to me today.
- About my performance. - And?
And he said that I was very smart and competent...
and would someday make someone a great assistant.
Uh-huh.
But as a journalist, he just doesn't think I have it.
"It"? Who is he, Louis B. Mayer?
No, he says he has like a sense for this kind of thing. I just...
I don't know, it was just a surprise.
I thought I was doing really well. I thought I was impressing him.
I thought he was going to offer me a summer job with the paper, I thought...
God, I hate this guy.
It's not his fault. If he doesn't think I can be a journalist...
it's probably best that he tells me before...
Before what?
Before I go out there and fall on my face.
Rory, he's wrong. He doesn't know what he's talking about.
- He does this for a living. - Not after I kill him, he doesn't.
Big, fancy, arrogant creep handing down these all-knowing proclamations.
I mean, how the hell does he know if you have "it" or not?
Has he seen your writing?
Has he talked to you, I mean, really talked to you?
Has he talked to any of your teachers? Or to anyone who knows...
how much "it" you have?
No, he spent exactly two weeks with you, ordering you around...
sending you on coffee runs, playing the big shot.
He is the publisher.
I know what it says on his business card. I'm gonna kick his ass.
Should we be at all concerned that Kirk's trying to tow us away right now?
No. He is not God. This is one man's opinion.
He did not invent journalism.
He's just a guy with a really good parking space.
- I'm so, so sorry. - I know you are.
I was so stupid. I'll never be that stupid again.
Sure you will.
Oh, my God.
I got arrested. I have to go to court?
I have to go get my car. No, do you have soap at home?
Because I have all this ink all over my hands and...
Honey, relax. We will figure it out.
[Singing Mama Tried]
[Knocking at door]
LANE: Brian, I need to get in there.
I was only in there 15 minutes. I clocked it.
- Time, dude? - 7:30.
- Crap, I overslept. - You're saying that like it's my fault.
Shut up. It is your fault.
I told you to get a clock you don't have to wind.
- I told you to shut up. - You never wind it. Then you yell at me.
Dude, you keep nagging me, I'm gonna have to buy you a ring.
- I get off work at 6:00. - I'll alert the media.
I mean, that's early enough to have band practice.
- Are we having band practice tonight? - Maybe.
- I may have to work late. - Brian.
I have my temp review, Lane.
I think they may be ready to offer me the full-time receptionist job.
- It's been a while since we practiced. - We've been busy.
- Tomorrow, then? - Definitely a conversation to have.
Fine, we'll talk tonight. Have you seen my jeans jacket?
ZACH: Come on. I threw the troll.
Good morning.
God, I feel like I could sleep through the entire day.
Coffee will be ready soon.
- What are you doing? - Well, I'm updating the refrigerator.
Where did you get that?
The nice lady at the police station e-mailed it to me.
I thought it would look nice next to your kindergarten hand print collage.
I'll get you a copy if you're thinking Christmas cards.
- Very thoughtful. - You're hungry?
I'm starving. I've had nothing but donuts for two days.
- Funny. - Hold on.
I'm really glad you're enjoying this.
Rory, the penal system is not something we enjoy.
It's something with a name that makes us giggle.
- I assume there's Pop-Tarts? - Now, what's on the agenda for today?
I hear there's a shipment of plutonium coming in at the docks.
And I thought we could dress up as nuns...
and I could distract them with a fake stigmata.
You could shove the plutonium under your habit and then...
I have to go back to school. I have one last final, plus...
Wait.
Plus, I've one last load of stuff that I need to pack up and transport back here.
And now I have to hang up. Visiting hours are over.
Thanks for letting me borrow the jeep.
I figured if I didn't give it to you voluntarily you'd just heist it anyway.
This bit's gonna last for a while?
Twenty to life with time off...
for a well-placed Tom Sizemore Whizzenator joke.
Don't let the movies fool you kiddies. Crime doesn't pay.
Listen, later today, I'm gonna try and track us down a lawyer.
I thought I'd call that guy who got Robert Blake off.
What was his name, Houdini? What?
Where are you really gonna get this lawyer?
The emergency room, ambulance dispatch center?
- You're not gonna tell... - I'm not going through Mom and Dad.
There's no reason they need to know about this.
Did I say "I'm sorry" in the last five minutes?
I think not slugging me when I pulled out the telephones said it for you.
- I love you, Mom. - I love you, kid.
[Phone ringing]
- Hello? - Hi. ls Rory there?
- She just left. Who's calling? - It's Logan.
- She's not here. - I've been trying to get her.
Her phone must be off, dead or something.
She's heading back to school. You can just catch up with her there.
- Yes, I'll do that. - Okay, bye.
Listen, I'm sorry to call your house. I just had this number...
and I want to talk to Rory.
- It's okay, Logan. - And listen...
I know you must be really upset by this whole thing, but I want you to know...
my father's lawyers are all over the situation and...
You know what? I think your father's done just about enough here, okay?
Done enough?
Yes, so thank your father for this. And I do mean all of this.
- But I think I can handle it from here. - But...
His help isn't needed, Logan. I've got it.
Okay, you got it. Sorry, I was just...
Rory should be back at school soon.
- Right. Sorry to bother you. - No problem. Bye.
- Hey. - What did he do?
- What? - My father. What did he do?
Who told you that he did anything?
I called your house. I talked to your mom.
Great.
I should've known something happened...
the way you showed up at Honor's party like that.
I should've known.
- My mother shouldn't have said anything. - She didn't say anything specific.
- What did she say? - Rory, just tell me what happened.
- It's stupid. I feel stupid. - Rory.
- I overreacted. You'll think I'm three. - Tell me.
He just doesn't think that I've got what it takes to be a journalist.
He says he knows when someone has it and I apparently do not have it.
- He said that to you? - Yeah.
- Just like that? - Pretty much.
I knew this was gonna happen. I didn't want you to take that internship.
I had to take it. Your father's the top guy in the business.
My father is a jackass. He's a bully.
He has zero interest in people's feelings.
It's always, "Say what you feel, right or wrong."
"Who the hell cares who you hurt?"
- Whatever, I'm going over there right now. - Logan, no.
You're my girlfriend. He should've treated you better.
- I don't want you to say anything. - I have to.
Logan, no, please. I just wanna forget this. I just want it to go away.
And please don't make a big thing between you and your dad.
- I don't want that. - Rory.
Don't put me in that position, please.
I'm sure he'll give me a crappy present for my birthday.
Maybe I can pick a fight with him over that.
- Thank you. - You should've told me.
I didn't wanna tell you.
Hey. If this relationship thing is gonna work then it goes both ways.
You have to tell me why we're committing a felony before we do it.
Not that that's gonna stop us, but at least I'll know the facts, okay?
- Okay, I'm sorry. - Come here.
You need some help packing?
No, I've got my last final today.
I should go over my notes.
- Okay. Call me after. - I will.
- You're good? - I'm good.
Okay.
And try and talk to your mother.
My father's lawyers should really handle this thing.
They've had a lot of practice, believe me.
Okay, I'll talk to her.
CYCLER 1: Big hole!
CYCLER 2: Big hole!
CYCLER 3: Big hole!
CYCLER 4: Big hole! CYCLER 5: Big hole!
- You signed on the wrong line. - Sorry.
Cross it out, initial it, and sign again.
Big hole!
What the hell is wrong with them? Why can't they just let the bozo in back...
figure out for himself there's a big hole there?
You're awful crabby for a man whose business is booming because of this race.
I don't want this kind of business. It's too shiny.
I myself am finding the whole thing rather intoxicating.
Our little town, the site of a thrilling international sports event like this?
You have no idea how much wrangling it took to get them here.
Big hole!
Jeez, I smudged. He made me smudge.
Cross it out, initial the smudge, then start again.
I lobbied the race coordinators for weeks.
It was a lot of ouzo and karaoke...
but I bagged our town the coveted first-stop, last-stop slot.
Wait, "first-stop, last-stop," meaning...
They start here today, circle the state, then end here later this week.
Every one of them will be coming back.
Big hole! Big hole!
Unbelievable.
Don't press too hard there. I don't wanna start all over again.
- That's the last one. - Excellent.
Well, I guess congratulations are in order, Luke.
You just bought yourself the Twickham house.
Thank you, Taylor.
Now remember, there's a three-day cooling-off period...
meaning you have three days from today to change your mind.
I'm not gonna change my mind.
Well, it's been a pleasure doing business with you, Luke.
I certainly hope it works out for you and your future plans.
Big hole!
I'm taking my break. I have 15 minutes.
- No chili? - Where's Gil?
It totally needs some chili.
Gil called. His delivery boy didn't show. He had to make stops on the way.
He said he may not be able to make it.
Of course he can't make it. Why should he?
It's only a band meeting, right? Nothing important.
Oh, my God, I can taste the potato.
So?
I hate potato. The chili hides the potato.
- [Screeching] Zach! - Nice screech.
This right here, this attitude, it's exactly what I'm talking about.
What do you mean what you're talking about?
You haven't said anything yet.
- I think we have a problem. - We do?
I just got totally boned by a 16-year-old 3 Doors Down fan.
My week sucks.
We started the meeting already, Gil.
I'm sorry, Lane. I dropped off the hoagies as quickly as I could.
Next time I won't wait for the money. And my kid can just paint himself silver...
and do the robot on the street corner for tuition fees.
What's going on here? Are we breaking up?
What? Oh, you mean the band.
Okay, cool, wow, go on.
We're not breaking up. Are we breaking up?
I don't know. It just seems that lately...
the band doesn't seem as important to everyone as it used to be.
- Don't agree. - We hardly practice any more.
Everyone else has all these other things to do.
There were clothes on my drums this morning.
Sorry. After I Woolite that sweater, I have to lay it out flat, or it'll lose shape.
Lane, relax. Things have just been a little crazy lately.
That reminds me. I got offered that full-time receptionist job today.
- Really? - Welcome to the grind, my friend.
They're giving me a raise, and I get to keep the blazer.
Awesome blazer.
I'm sorry, does anyone else see what's going on here?
Brian's talking about taking a full-time job.
So?
The band's supposed to be a full-time job.
- Lane. - No, no Lane.
You have your Americana banjo band, and you have Century 21...
and you have a really stupid hat on.
What do I have? According to my mother, I'm going to hell for this.
That's commitment, my friends.
Eternal damnation is what I'm risking for my rock and roll.
Lane, calm down. We all care about the band.
So I'm just imagining all of this?
I think we need to play more.
We've played every club around here 100 times.
Well, then maybe we need to tour.
Tours are rough, Lane. They have to be planned.
Venues must be booked. You need publicity, transportation, money.
Well, we have to do something.
- Big hole! - That's it.
CYCLER 1: Big man! CYCLER 2: Big man!
Big man!
- Six hundred lunges every night. - Impressive.
Thank you. We are booked, booked, booked.
I now love bike riders so much...
that from now on when driving, I'll no longer consider...
how many points I'd get if I took them out. What's this?
- This is for you, apparently. - A present? I love presents.
I wonder who it could be from.
"Lorelai, a little something to make the trip over to the Durham Group..."
"A bit more fun. Mike Armstrong."
Thank you, Mike Armstrong.
That is the man who wants to buy the inn, no?
Oh, my God. Look at all this stuff.
Travel soap, travel candles, a travel blanket, cashmere travel pillow...
cashmere socks. Oh, my God, I've been wanting to try this.
This is the Lumiere youth serum.
Apparently you put this on before you get on a plane...
and by the time you get off, you're Dakota Fanning.
Michel, take something. What do you want?
The memory of those bikers poking each other in the buttocks...
"eternally sunshined" out of my mind.
Come on, Michel. Take something, you love products.
- You're going to do it, aren't you? - Do what?
You're going to sell the inn to Mike Armstrong.
Euros. Cool.
You're going to sell the inn to Mike Armstrong.
Then you're gonna go off and have a wonderful life...
and I'm going to be unemployed.
Very attractive asset on the dating scene.
You know, we have our own little section on match.com.
Michel, stop it. I'm probably not gonna take the deal.
- You're not? - This is my inn. I love it here.
It's just fun being wooed, you know.
Having someone want you enough to send you Prescriptives misting lotion.
Fine, if you say so.
Did the handyman get here yet? That loose banister's making me nervous.
- He has not come. Should I call him again? - No, forget it.
I'll call Luke. He'll come fix it and all it'll cost me is my honor.
What a lovely arrangement you two have.
And the countdown continues. Twenty-five more minutes, people.
Can you stand the excitement? I know I can't.
I've only got 10 minutes. What do you need?
- The banister's loose upstairs. - Okay.
The window in Room 3 is stuck. The barn door's off its tracks again.
Did you bring your jackhammer?
Did you hear the part about, "I've only got 10 minutes"?
- Window in Room 3 is stuck. - Let's go.
But if you fix it really quickly, the banister is right on your way back down.
Really, you might as well take a look at that, too.
- What's all this stuff? - That is my big, fancy present.
- From whom? - From Mike Armstrong.
- Who the hell's Mike Armstrong? - He's my other lover.
He owns a diner in Woodbury. I didn't want you to find out this way, but...
"The Durham Group."
Yeah, the hotel chain who wants to buy the inn.
What are they sending you gifts for?
Either they're disproportionately worried about my cuticles...
or they can't live without me...
and they're begging me to accept their offer.
- To buy the inn? - Yeah...
they've been after me since that meeting.
- What meeting? - The meeting with Mike Armstrong.
I didn't know you had a meeting with Mike Armstrong.
- Yes, you did. - No, I didn't.
You did. You told me to have a meeting with Mike Armstrong.
I know, but you never said anything so I figured it went away.
Well, I had a meeting with Mike Armstrong.
- And? - And what?
- And what happened? - Nothing. He talked, I listened.
I told him I'd think about it.
- Think about it? - Yeah.
About selling the inn. And then after you sell the inn, then what?
I'd be like a consultant for their company.
- Is that what you want? - I don't know.
- Are you gonna take this job? - Probably not. I'm still mulling.
Mulling? You're still mulling? She's still mulling.
- Why are you so upset? - I'm not upset.
I just can't believe you're still mulling.
Luke.
I mean, you're seriously considering selling the inn and taking this job.
I mean, where's their office, anyway?
They've got a bunch of them. I don't know where exactly I'd be.
- Well, shouldn't you ask? - Hello. Mulling.
- I mean, they could send you anywhere. - Luke.
Then there's all that travel, there's travel, right?
Yes. No. I don't know.
What are you freaking out about?
- What about the kids? - What kids?
Uh...
Nothing. Never mind, forget it. I'm gonna fix the window.
- Luke. - Room 3, got it.
Mama, it's me, Lane.
Over here in the 20% off section.
- Am I disturbing you? - No, but it is past their bedtime.
- That was joke. - You're in a good mood.
- I had a good day. - You sell a lot of things?
- You would like to see my receipts? - No.
- My inventory reports? - No, Mom...
- I was just making small talk. - You would like some tea?
No, I just want to tell you something.
All right, tell me something.
It looks like the band may be breaking up. We've hit a rut.
We can't get enough gigs to get any momentum...
and I don't know, it's just not working.
- I see. - I think I may need to move back home.
I realize that if you allow me to do that...
then I will have to abide by any rules you feel necessary.
I also anticipate the words "Seventh-day Adventist College" will come up...
so I'll go shopping for some Peter Pan collared shirts tomorrow.
- No more band? - No more band.
- You are not the daughter I raised! - What?
Kims don't give up.
Sorry, the inn was swamped.
These bikers are like rabbits who don't eat carrots. Too much sugar.
Mmm. Sugar.
The fitness craze is completely lost on us.
- I'm starving. - Me, too.
- So how'd your final go? - It went well.
- Yeah? And you finished packing? - All packed, all boxed...
I just have one more trip to school and home and then I'm done.
It's gonna be nice to have you home for a while.
I'm glad you feel that way.
Yeah, the place hasn't had a decent dusting since you left.
Do you think today's the day we're finally gonna go through...
all 12 layers of the 12-layer German chocolate cake?
The bikers have demonstrated the importance of challenging oneself.
- Mom. - Rory.
I have to tell you something.
Okay, wow, there's something about Weston's.
- It's always the place where we talk. - We could go somewhere else.
No, tell me.
I've decided...
that I'm not going back to Yale next year.
I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly.
- I'm not going back to Yale next year. - Why?
Because I'm not sure that it's the right place for me.
And I'm not exactly sure what I want to do with my life and...
Since when are you not sure what you wanna do with your life?
You've known what you wanted to do with your life since you were three.
- Be a journalist. - Maybe not.
- This is about Mitchum Huntzberger. - No, it's not.
Rory, honey, I know that what he said hurt you, and that shook you up.
You lost your confidence, but that was just one man's opinion.
It has nothing to do with what he said to me.
And Mitchum Huntzberger happens to be the top newspaper guy in the country.
So what?
So if you're going to get one man's opinion...
- he's the one man you get. - You're not thinking.
This is the man who doesn't want you to marry Logan.
That wasn't him. It was Logan's mother and his grandfather.
And you really think he's okay with it?
His whole family looks at you and sees Anna Nicole Smith...
and they tell you that to your face.
He thinks you're swell and wants to pay for the honeymoon.
That's not why he said what he said.
He's messing with your mind. He has so many motives...
that have nothing to do with your abilities.
That's not true. He said I can't do it, so I can't do it.
Why are you so willing to believe this guy?
- Logan agrees with him. - He said that?
He told you he agrees with his father...
because if that's so, he's a fantastic boyfriend.
- Really, quite a catch. - No, he didn't say it.
- I could just tell. - How?
I could tell. He ranted about his father being a jerk...
and speaking his mind, but he never said that he was wrong.
Rory, come on, what kind of logic is that?
It doesn't matter.
This isn't about that. I told you, I just need some time.
- You're making a mistake. - No, I'm not. This is normal.
College kids take breaks like this all the time.
You didn't go to college, so you don't understand.
No, I didn't go to college, I wasn't lucky enough to go to college.
Trust me, this is very normal.
- No, you are not quitting Yale. - Yes, I am.
You're acting incredibly immature and I know it's because you're hurt...
but you've got to get a grip. This is too important.
You've been working toward Yale your whole life.
No. I was working toward Harvard my whole life.
Okay, fine, then go to Harvard. That's cool.
I don't wanna go to Harvard.
Then go to Princeton or Stanford or Columbia.
I want time off.
If you leave Yale now, you'll never go back.
- You'll lose momentum. - Momentum toward what?
All I've been doing is working toward being a journalist.
I'm not going to be a journalist, so what momentum am I losing, exactly?
You don't wanna be a journalist, fine. I don't care about that.
But you stay in school, you take some classes...
you figure out what you do wanna be.
- That's not what Yale is for. - That's what college is for.
- Yale's expensive. - Are you paying?
I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna wander around a school...
where everyone else is focused and working towards something...
and I'm just floating.
What's the great master plan then? You're gonna move back home...
live in your room, work part-time at the bookstore?
- Forget it! Not an option. - I'll figure it out.
- I'm not hungry. - Look, I'm not going back.
- I just wanted you to know. - Message sent.
- Luke, you were looking for Taylor? - Yeah.
- Go, Connecticut! - He's right outside.
I'll be back in a minute.
Taylor.
- Hello, Luke. - You said I had three days, right?
- Three... - For the house. Three days to back out.
- Well, I didn't say that, the law did. - Fine, whoever said it, I want out.
- What? - Forget the house.
Forget the whole damn thing, I don't need it anymore.
Why... Luke.
I have a lunch with Sonny Kingsman today.
And then I have to stop by the club at 4:00.
Some of the girls are having a little impromptu birthday cocktail...
with Mellie Rutgers.
Though the last thing Mellie needs is another excuse for a midday cocktail.
I can stop by the cleaners on my way home...
if you want to have something pressed for your trip this weekend.
Uh-huh.
And then after the cleaners, I thought I'd run off with Marshall...
the golf instructor at the club.
Do you think you could manage to get your own dinner tonight?
That'll be fine, Emily.
[Doorbell ringing]
I wonder who that can be first thing in the morning?
Perhaps it's Marshall, the golf instructor...
unable to wait until after Mellie's party to have you.
- I know I couldn't. - You do surprise me, Richard Gilmore.
- I'm sorry to interrupt your breakfast. - Lorelai.
I need to talk to you guys about something.
- Is everything all right? - Well...
Sit down, Lorelai. Davida, bring a coffee cup for my daughter.
I'm gonna have to call the office if this is gonna take long.
No, Dad, it won't. I just... I need your help.
- Call the office, Richard. - No, Dad, I promise it'll be quick.
- Rory's quitting Yale. - What?
- What are you talking about? - Thank you.
What do you mean Rory's quitting Yale?
Why would you joke about something like that?
- What makes you think I'm joking? - Because Rory would never quit Yale.
This must be one of your bits. You scare us with something horrible...
like Rory's quitting college and then after we have a heart attack...
you tell us you were kidding, you're having a sex-change operation.
Mom, Dad, I'm not having a sex-change operation.
I don't understand this. Rory's doing beautifully at school.
Why would she want to leave?
Okay, look, I know you love Logan and the Huntzbergers...
and you already have the wedding invitations printed and ready to go...
but I have to tell you, these are not good people.
Meaning what?
Logan's mother and grandfather...
attacked Rory at that dinner they invited her to.
They told her she wasn't good enough to marry into the Huntzberger family...
and she wasn't who they wanted for Logan.
Not good enough?
Then Mitchum Huntzberger gave Rory that internship...
theoretically to make up for that evening. He let her work for a while...
he built her up, and then he clobbered her.
He told her she doesn't have what it takes to be a journalist...
and she needs to find something else to do with her life.
- What? - This happened on Friday night, Mom.
That's why Rory wasn't at dinner, she was devastated.
Then she went to find Logan at the yacht club...
and the two of them stole a yacht.
Stop it. Stop it right now.
They were arrested, and I had to pick Rory up...
- from the Bridgeport Police Department. - Oh, no.
Ever since she got involved with these people, things have been bad.
She's up and she's down and she should be stronger than this, I know...
but she's young and she's Rory and she's come so far...
she's worked so hard, I just don't want her to lose this.
What do you want us to do?
I've already told her that just coming home...
and bumming around Stars Hollow is not an option.
And I was thinking, Friday night at dinner we could triple-team her.
I bet between the three of us we could knock some sense into her...
but I really need the two of you to back me up on this.
Well, of course, we'll back you up. This is not happening.
How much trouble is she in with this yacht incident?
- She's gonna need a lawyer. - I'll call Charlie Newman.
Are we sure we wanna wait until Friday? Should we confront her now?
I think we should give her a chance to cool off a little.
Maybe some time will make her more receptive.
I agree with Lorelai. Give the girl some time.
- All right. Friday night it is. - Thank you.
Just... Thank you.
I should get going. Dad has to get to work.
- Would you like something to eat? - No. I just got everything I need.
Davida, can you come here, please?
Look at these shoes and tell me if these look like the same color to you.
They're supposed to be the same color, they were bought at the same time...
they'd been residing in the same box.
However, on closer examination, one of them seems a little faded.
What do you think? What's the matter? I was just asking your opinion.
Davida, stop that shaking right now. This is not a trick question.
I just wanted an opinion from... For heaven's sake.
Go back to your work.
[Doorbell ringing]
I guess I'll get that.
Rory.
- Can I come in? - Well, all right. Come in.
Didn't expect to see you until dinner tonight.
I needed to talk to you.
Yes, well, your grandmother is running some errands...
and I was doing some work in the house, so...
Well, I assume you've heard about everything by now.
Yes, well, I believe I've heard some bits and pieces.
You know, I really was in the middle of something.
Can this possibly wait until tonight? I'll give you my full attention, I promise.
Everything's falling apart.
I messed everything up. I don't know what to do.
Your grandmother should be back any minute.
I can have the maid make us some tea.
I'm so sorry, Grandpa. I'm so sorry about everything.
I just don't know what to do. I don't.
It's all right.
Everything will be all right.
- Where is she, dude? - Don't know, man. Not her warden.
This is the second emergency band meeting in a week.
Time is pressing. I have a 10-pound salami sitting out in the van.
[Snickering]
Do not giggle. This is not dirty, this is a job.
Can one of you quiz me on the open-house procedures?
- Level 12, dude. - I'll do it.
"True or false: Simmering some apple juice..."
"And a couple of cinnamon sticks makes a pleasant aroma..."
"Indicating 'home' to prospective buyers."
True.
I'd add a little potpourri to the johns, too.
Jeez!
- All boys here? - Yes.
- Good. - Guys, guess what?
Your mother just took 10 years off my life?
- We are going on tour. - We are?
- What are you talking about? - All of you, gather around, please.
Do not stand there looking stupid, move!
Okay, you start at The First Lady of Our Sacred Heart on the fourth...
The Church of the Open Hand on the sixth...
Chapel Hill on the 10th, the big auditorium not the Sunday school room.
- Are you sensing a pattern here? - We move in kind of a horseshoe shape.
- It looks pretty well thought out. - No, they're all churches.
Not churches, theaters in churches.
I have contacts with the entire East Coast...
Seventh-day Adventists entertainment circuit.
Dates back to my days in an all-girl Christian tambourine band.
- What? - I have you booked solid for two months.
Families in each town will take you in, feed you, put you up.
- I don't know. This seems a little weird. - Weird? What weird?
You need to play, here's places to play. Nice places, clean places.
- Don't wear that outfit onstage. - This is my delivery outfit.
Lane, tell her I don't dress like this.
- I need to see your songs. - Why?
To see if you need to make any adjustments.
- Lyrics must be clean. - Okay, that's where we draw the line.
- We will not change our lyrics. - Please.
Prince made 57 million take-home last year.
He didn't swear, and he mentioned God. Catch up!
Okay, last problem, transportation.
- What about the van? - What van?
Gil's delivery van.
- You have van? - Yeah, right outside, full of salami.
Let's see this van.
Lane, we can't go on some crazy Christian crusade tour.
It's a tour, Zach.
It's a chance to play, to keep our band together.
Isn't that important? Who cares where we're playing?
Our music will be out there.
I think a tour would be kind of neat.
Brian, if you do a tour right, it could be way more than neat.
- Gil, get over here. - Yes, ma'am.
- This is your van? - Yes...
but it's not really big enough for a tour van.
What're you talking about? All 27 girls and their tambourines...
would have fit very nicely in here. Legs crossed, of course.
Drums go there, bass goes there, guitars go there...
Lane rides up front, and we get rid of that big salami.
Pop the hood. I need to check the engine.
Okay, I know it's not perfect, it's not The Festival Express...
but it could be really great.
- What do you say? - I think it's freaking crazy.
Which also happens to be completely rock and roll. Let's do it!
- Seriously? - Totally!
Century 21 has been around for over 30 years.
- I'm sure it'll be here when I get back. - Zach?
Well, jeez, Dorothy, if Tin Man and Lion are gonna go...
- I guess I have to go, too. - Yeah! All right.
- Gil, get over here and pop the hood now! - Yes, ma'am.
- Haven't got all day. - I'm sorry.
You'll need new hoses, spark plugs, oil change.
Wait, let me write this down.
Hi.
- Can I take your coat? - Yes, thank you.
EMILY: Lorelai, we're in here.
I thought I'd come a little early so we could strategize.
- Sit down, Lorelai. - Okay.
Rory should be here pretty soon, so...
Your mother and I have been talking about your situation.
We have discussed the matter thoroughly and we have come to a decision.
Rory will be taking some time off from Yale.
She will be moving into the pool house here with us.
We will find her some sort of suitable job through one of our friends...
and then after a suitable time has passed...
we will revisit the subject of her returning to school.
Where are you going?
I was sitting right here.
I came in, I sat right here, and we had the conversation, right?
I mean, I'm not imagining it, right?
I had coffee, you had grapefruit...
Dad was reading the paper, he had to go, so I said I'd make it quick.
And we sat here and we talked about how we were gonna stick together...
and convince Rory to go back to school. That did happen, right?
- I'm not completely wacko. - Yes, it happened.
Obviously I'm a little wacko 'cause I came here for help in the first place...
but I'm not totally delusional.
- There were other things to consider. - You said you'd back me on this.
You said you weren't gonna let this happen.
Rory's young and I'm sure once she's had some time and some space...
she will change her mind, but for now, this is what she wants to do...
and we need to respect that.
Have you talked to Rory about this, your great plan?
- Does she know about it? - Yes. She's fine with the arrangement.
- So you went to her behind my back. - She came to me, Lorelai.
She told me what she wanted in her own words.
Wow, so that does work occasionally with you?
This makes sense. We don't want her to move in with Logan, do we?
Since you don't want Rory to move back home to Stars Hollow...
it just makes sense that she move in here with us.
- I don't... - We can watch her.
Keep her from getting into trouble. We can get her back on track.
You'll understand that once you calm down...
and think about it rationally.
[Door closing]
This is unacceptable. Completely unacceptable!
- What time is it? - 10:00.
It's not! It is not 10:00. Is it 10:00?
No.
They were supposed to finish the race at 12:00...
that's 12:00 noon, when the sun is out and the press is here...
and the people are interested in buying t-shirts.
Nobody buys t-shirts at 10:00 at night.
Sweatshirts, maybe.
Well, we're not selling sweatshirts, are we?
All that planning. I finally had to send the marching band home.
It was past their bedtimes.
I have never met such soft, whiny 6-year-olds, in my entire life.
If this was Dickens' day, they'd all have been sold to a cobbler by now.
I think I see someone coming.
Really? At 10:10 they come rolling in?
You're late, you're late, you're all late!
You, and you, and you, and you! Late!
- Rory dropped out of Yale. - What?
She dropped out of Yale and she moved in with my parents...
who I went to for help, and they stabbed me in the back.
Everything we worked for, all these years, her whole future...
She was supposed to have more than me.
She was supposed to have everything.
That was the plan. We had a plan.
Okay, I'm sorry, I have to jump in here.
I know you think you have this thing handled, but I can help.
First off, we call Yale, and we tell them something like...
Rory had a chemical imbalance, and she was medically out of her mind...
when she told them she was dropping out.
Then we get her out of your parents' house whatever way we can...
we lock her up in her room with you 'cause you can talk her into this.
You can talk anybody into anything.
Then if worse comes to worst, we will drive her to school every day...
and we will follow her to class and camp out there to make sure she goes.
I'll take morning classes, you take afternoon classes...
or the other way around if it works out better for your schedule.
And I know there's a few kinks to work out...
and the kidnapping might be problematic, but either way, she is not quitting school.
This was her dream. I am not gonna let this happen.
What?
Luke, will you marry me?
What?