- What are you doing? - What?
Oh, my.
- Michel. Michel! - "Michel," what?
Michel, you can't put your schedules in the front of the basket.
- It's blocking everything. - So?
So it shouldn't block everything.
- It doesn't look good. - Yes, it does!
I am a man of refined and renowned aesthetics.
Fabien Baron once publicly admired the way I decorated my locker at Crunch.
What?
I worked extremely hard on these schedules and it looks good.
Yes, those schedules look nice, okay?
Lovely font choice, lovely use of bullet points. But give me a break!
It's not like you made them on an antique printing press or something.
(LAUGHING MOCKINGLY)
I'm sorry!
Did you make your chocolate-dipped apricots on an antique printing press?
(LAUGHS)
- No. Of course not. - Touché.
No. That's not a touché.
- Touché! - Touché!
Leave it. Leave it!
Hi, guys! How are the baskets coming?
- Great. - Yeah. Just great.
Oh, wow. Looks like Mr. Cranky Pants is in his usual Spring Fling funk.
I'm not in a funk.
I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about Mr. Cranky Pants.
- Hey, the schedule looks good. - You should see his gym locker.
- Touché! - Touché yourself.
"Dance of the Daffodils, bingo, sack races, pie-eating...
"Bird-watching"?
We didn't schedule any bird-watching, did we?
- There was a void. - Huh?
In the schedule, there was nothing scheduled on Saturday evening.
It looks ridiculous, so I wrote in "bird-watching."
Oh, that's clever! Except for the fact that
- we didn't schedule any bird-watching. - So?
So what if people wanna do some bird-watching?
Oh, please. No one will want to go bird-watching.
How do you know?
Who wants to watch birds? Why on earth would you watch a bird?
(GROANS)
You know, what should be on here is "hay bale maze."
I can't believe we're actually having a hay bale maze.
Oh, what is wrong with people?
Walking in hay? Don't they have lives?
Don't they have televisions and elliptical machines?
And what kind of weirdo wants to walk around in a maze of hay?
Taylor Doose. And no one else.
But don't you vote on these things in your adorable little meetings?
- He hoodwinked us. - Yeah.
This year, he gave an impassioned speech about how his childhood dream
was to visit a hay bale maze.
And he was clutching hay and crying!
And it was very disconcerting but oddly moving. So we voted yes.
- It was a pity vote. - And a hoodwink vote.
'Cause it turns out he wasn't really crying so much as he was allergic to the hay.
Oh, whatever!
Michel, people stopped saying "whatever," like, two years ago.
Whatever. I'm Audi 5000.
- Oh, great. - What's the matter, babe?
Logan, did you just polish off a carton of milk?
Oh, yeah. I guess I did. Sorry. I think there's plenty more in there, though.
- Well, actually, no. - Really?
Nope. There's no milk in here for my cereal. It's cool.
I'll just skip breakfast and suffer the afternoon mood swings.
I'm sorry. I could've sworn there were, like, four or five cartons in there.
Each of these milks is here for a reason.
I need the two percent for my cereal, whole milk for my tea,
half and half for my coffee, skim milk for cooking or baking.
Plus, I like to keep Lactaid on hand for Doyle.
Which I don't need because I'm not lactose intolerant.
You're lactose resistant. You have a bias against lactose. You're sensitive.
I'm not sensitive. I have no problem with lactose.
There's nothing wrong with being sensitive.
Jake Gyllenhaal is sensitive. Orlando Bloom is sensitive.
- Me and lactose are cool. We're down. - I'll tell you what.
I'll replenish the two percent and keep my paws off the Lactaid.
- I don't need the Lactaid. - Good morning.
- Me and lactose are bros. - Glad to hear it.
I wouldn't throw Jake Gyllenhaal out of bed.
Also good to know.
Good morning, Ace. Welcome to the party.
FYI, there's no two percent milk.
Guilty as charged. Man, you look great. That is one smart-looking suit.
Well, let's hope that it does most of the talking
because I keep thinking of questions that they might ask me,
and this lovely little thing keeps happening
where my mind goes completely blank. You know?
It's like, "Rory, what journalists do you admire?"
Uh, hmm?
"What journalists do I admire?" And nothing. It's blank.
It's like a snowstorm in here. It's all white and empty.
Uh-oh.
- You're gonna be great. - Absolutely.
Or you'll choke.
What? It's your first big interview. You very well may panic.
- I'm just saying don't panic if you panic. - Oh, that's so sweet, Paris.
- Which paper is it? - The Providence Journal Bulletin.
The Projo? No kidding! That's a hoot! It's a good paper.
- Excellent reputation. Top-notch staff. - Yeah, it can be a really good job.
On the downside, word on the street is they work their cubs hard.
Long hours, lots of working lunches. And they do have a comics section.
What's wrong with a comics section?
Let's just say The New York Times does not have a comics section.
Speaking of the biz, I should hit the road here.
Where the heck is my attaché case?
- You're gonna be great. - Oh, thanks.
I got a credit card statement addressed to you, Logan. Addressed to you here.
No "care of," just to you.
Yeah, all that stuff used to go to my dad's business manager.
I just had him forward it here. I hope that's okay.
- That's okay. Isn't it okay? - Yes. You're right. Of course it's okay.
Okay, I need to pick out a coat.
A trench coat would be too All the President's Men,
but my blue coat would be too His Girl Friday. I don't know!
I'm just gonna cut to the chase. Why are you here?
You're not talking metaphysically, are you?
Seriously, Huntzberger.
You're used to living in places with doormen and Danish furniture,
and refrigerators so fancy magnets won't stick to them.
This crap hole is smaller than the walk-in closet in your last pad. What's the deal?
Well, my last pad was not my pad, technically.
My dad's company was picking up the rent.
And since I'm no longer working with my dad's company, they weren't so keen on it.
- Plus, you're broke. - I'm not broke.
What about this coat? Is it too That Girl?
You can never be too That Girl.
DOYLE: Man, those cornflakes really did a number on me.
Okay, I better go catch my train. Have a good day!
- Good luck, Ace. Knock 'em dead. - Okay, I will.
- Call me after. - Okay. Bye!
Logan, after you're finished with all your "work,"
- it'd be great if you could... - Pick up some two percent. I'm on it.
- "Do the dishes," I was going to say. - Okay. Yeah, sure.
And Logan, this probably goes without saying,
but no scrubby sponges on the Teflon pans.
Wouldn't dream of it.
Wow! What'd you do? Raid the New Mexico State Library?
I know, I know. I just couldn't anticipate what I'd be in the mood for.
Would I feel like reading Melville or McInerney?
Or would I be in more of a
Native-American-interconnected- short-narratives mood?
In which case I'd go for the Louise Erdrich and some Love Medicine.
- You know what I love about you? - My dazzling wit and generous heart?
The fact that you could be
in a Native Americans interconnected short narratives mood.
It's fascinating stuff. And you know what's funny?
Growing up in New England. It's like, you're told over and over
that you live in this old place where houses are 300 years old.
- And there's all this history, right? - Right.
Some of these pueblos, like the Aztec Ruins National Monument,
or the Casamero Pueblo Ruins,
I mean, people were living there in 1100 A.D.
- It's like, "Suck it, New England!" - It's like, what?
And actually, one of my swim team friends lives on the Jicarilla Apache Reservation,
which is pretty fabulous.
- Fabulous, huh? - "Fabulous" is the new word in school.
I see. So New Mexico doesn't seem so terrible after all, huh?
Yeah. Not so terrible.
You know, you look good. Grown up. Maybe it's the new glasses.
Thanks. A girl can only be called Sally Jessy so many times
before she has to rethink the red frames.
Plus, I think these go better with the earrings.
With...
Oh, yeah, look at that! You got pierced ears.
I basically had to.
Unadorned ears seemed like a total waste when all around where I live,
all this fabulous jewelry-making's going on. Speaking of which...
- What's this? - Open it.
Wow, a bracelet!
Navajo tradition says that turquoise is a piece of sky that fell to earth.
And the Apache used to put little pieces of it on their arrows
so that they'd aim more true.
That is very sweet of you, April. Thank you very much.
Well? Put it on. Let's see what it looks like.
Fabulous.
- Fabulous. - Totally.
- Is that a rhetorical question? - I beg your pardon?
You said, "Who doesn't love the Spring Fling Festival?" And I'm asking...
Because we just can't imagine anyone who doesn't love it.
Michel, will you grab their keys?
Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair, it's so wonderful to have you back. Welcome!
We've been dreaming about the festival since the middle of January.
This winter was a doozy.
I got my tongue stuck to the swing set in our backyard.
- Wow, really? - He did.
I had to get out my hairdryer and an extension cord
and melt the poor thing free.
Well, it's just pony rides and funnel cakes from now on.
(PHONE RINGING)
Let me show you all our information. Just excuse me one second.
- Dragonfly Inn. - Hey!
- Hey! How'd it go? - It went great!
That's great to hear! Hold on a second. I'll be right back.
Michel, will you talk to Rory? Okay. So here's your map...
- Hello? - Hey, Michel! How's it going?
Middling to poor. Where are you? I hear noise.
I'm on a train on my way back from Providence.
- Oh. - What?
- I do not care for trains. - No? I'm sorry.
- Trains are dirty. - Well, this train doesn't look very dirty.
You know what I find particularly disgusting?
- What? - Train tracks.
They remind me somehow of trails left behind by slugs.
You know, there are a lot of slugs in the spring, you know.
Oozing all over the place...
(EXCLAIMS) I think your mother is done now.
It was nice talking to you.
Thank you. Have a good time. Hey!
So Spring Fling time again, huh?
Oh, yeah. When a young man's fancy turns to being totally rude.
So tell me about the interview. I wanna hear everything.
You walked in the door, I wanna hear what kind of door.
You sat in a chair, what kind of chair? Go.
I met the editor, Kate Hesel, and she invited me in. I sat down.
We started talking and we just had so much to talk about!
It was great. It was an amazing interview!
Wow. That's great!
It was. We talked about Seymour Hersh
and how he was comparing Iran to Nicaragua
and the Contra War and everything. From Alexander Haig and Watergate
to the Oprah phenomenon.
And the best part was, I was just being myself, you know? I was just talking.
And I forgot about impressing her.
- But there you were impressing her! - Yeah.
And she said she'd call me by tomorrow
to let me know whether or not I got the job.
Wow, tomorrow?
Yeah, I know. Everything's happening so fast.
I can't believe school's almost over. I can't believe it's spring already!
Oh, it is. Believe me. We are lousy with Spring Flingers here.
How are those Spring Flingers?
Oh, you know. As bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as ever.
So you're gonna make it this year?
- I do wanna come but... - Yay! Did I just "yay" over your "but"?
But I wanted to check with you first
'cause I wanna make sure it's cool if I bring Logan, too.
Yes, of course! Gosh, I should've thought of that. I'm sorry.
Oh, no. It's cool.
You can give him the grand tour of Stars Hollow
and I'll show him embarrassing pictures of you picking your nose.
- Oh, no. No baby pictures. - Who said they're baby pictures?
So, you're bringing a guy home...
Well, it's not like I picked him up at a truck stop.
No, no, I know.
You're bringing a suitor, a gentleman caller, home to Stars Hollow.
I'm gonna have to get out my pipe
and dust off my old "What are your intentions?" cue cards.
ANNOUNCER ON PA.: Next stop Mystic. Mystic, Connecticut.
Listen to you on the train.
I know. I'm in my suit, I'm reading the paper.
- Coming back from your job interview. - I know!
I just went on an interview for a real job in the real world.
- Wow. I am impressed. - Thanks, Mom.
- Seriously. I'm impressed. - I'll see you tomorrow.
Here we are. This is the entryway or the foyer, if you're feeling fancy or French.
- Wow. - You can just leave that stuff here.
What do you mean, "Wow"? When you walk into your parents' foyer,
there is a genuine article Magritte right there
and a chandelier the size of a Volkswagen.
Now that is a foyer with a capital "F."
Yeah, but this is where Rory Gilmore grew up. The Rory Gilmore.
- Hello! - LORELAI: Are you here?
No, we're really far away, screaming really loudly.
(LAUGHING)
- Hi! How are you? Welcome, welcome! - Hi, Mom!
- How you doing, Lorelai? - Good, good.
Apparently I say everything twice now. It's charming... Charming.
- Well, these are for you. - Wow. Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
They're beautiful. I'll put them in a vase.
They're cymbidium orchids. They are native to the foothills of the Himalayas.
(EXCLAIMS)
That sounds fancy and they look fancy too. Wow.
This is a beautiful house.
Thank you. I never know what to say when somebody says that.
You don't wanna agree, but on the other hand,
it feels weird to disagree with your guest and say, "No, it's a dump." So thank you.
It's charming. Charming.
Hey, Mom, we still get cell reception in here, right?
Yeah, of course, honey. Why? Oh, the job.
Yeah. She said she'd let me know by today.
But today is not over. Today just started.
Oh, honey, I'm sure she's just busy at work, you know?
Speaking of which, I should get to work
because Michel's mental state is very precarious today.
Yeah, go. We'll be fine.
Okay, I circled some stuff in the paper for you, though.
You know, so you'd have stuff to do.
There's some movies, if you feel like going to the movies,
and I noticed that the colonial butter churners
are having an exhibition at the Antiquarian Society.
I thought that could be kind of funny.
And there'll be a lot to do tomorrow with the festival and everything.
There'll be games and face painting...
- Mom. - And stuff like that.
What? You've lived here before?
Yeah, I think I remember enough to show Logan around.
This is the town with the Sistine Chapel, right?
Oh, yeah. And don't forget to show him the Pyramids,
you know, kitty-corner from the Wailing Wall.
- Thank you. - Thanks.
So I got you guys set up in Rory's room, and just make yourselves at home.
I made up the bed for you and the trundle bed,
so you can do whatever you want. I mean, bed-wise.
- Okay, great. That's great. - Great.
So I'll see you later for dinner.
Unless you guys wanna have dinner alone, which is totally cool.
- Don't be ridiculous. - We wanna have dinner with you.
Okay, good. Well, I have the town meeting,
but then I'll be home after and I will wow you with my takeout ordering skills.
She really is amazing.
There's talk of a show on the Food Network.
Sounds great.
And you have some guest towels right there.
- I didn't know we had guest towels. - Of course we have guest towels.
"Guest towels" is a fancy way of saying "towels that are clean."
All right, I'll see you later. Have fun.
Okay, bye! I'll take that.
- Come here. - What?
Why don't you come over here and find out?
What? Here? Where the Rory Gilmore used to sleep?
- Hi. - Hi.
And four! And five! Keep those toes pointed!
Mary, that means you. Extend and reach out!
Roots push into the soil!
And this right here, this is the very curb
where I fell off my bicycle the second time.
Wait, is that blood?
Yeah, you joke, but it was very traumatic, okay?
I scraped up my whole face.
There was a big old scab on my nose the first two weeks of fifth grade.
They called me Bozo.
- Bozo! - Yes. And Rudolph. And Scab Nose.
(EXCLAIMING)
This is the curb where I fell off my bike the third time.
- Poor little Scab Nose! - Yes.
It's also where I decided I'd never ride a bicycle ever again in my entire life.
Or at least till the end of elementary school.
- There should be a plaque. - There should be.
And this is Miss Patty's dance school.
- Any injuries incurred here? - Only psychological ones.
- That's cute. - Yeah.
Those are some pretty avant-garde costumes they're wearing there.
They are. They're bulbs. It's for the Dance of the Daffodils.
There are three acts, you see.
In the first one, the bulbs dance,
then they grow stalks, and then they bloom into daffodils by the third.
That's cute. And this hay bale maze, this is all Taylor's idea?
Yup.
This is the same Taylor who is town selectman and owns two businesses?
Yeah. He's basically the mayor of Stars Hollow and the Don Corleone
- all wrapped up into one. - That's fascinating.
- That's fascinating? - I find Stars Hollow fascinating.
- You're out of your gourd. - No, I'm not. I'm very much in my gourd.
This is cool. It's like colonial Williamsburg
- with fewer knickers and tricorn hats. - And more hay.
This is Luke's diner.
(EXCLAIMS)
When you were younger, were you in the Dance of the Daffodils?
- Maybe. - You were, weren't you?
Well, therein lies the psychological injury!
- What happened? - I didn't bloom.
- My headpiece malfunctioned. - Poor little Scab Nose!
Wow. The famous Luke's.
- Rory! - Oh, hey, Zach. You know Logan.
- Sure, sure. How's it going, man? - Great. I'm having a great time.
- Hey, we just saw Kwan and Steve. - Oh, yeah?
- Wait, Lane was there too, right? - Yeah. She was there. She looks great.
- The babies are grown so big. - I know, especially Kwan...
At least in the torso. He's got this, like, super long torso
but Steve's really growing in the arms and legs department.
I noticed he has long legs.
Dude, Steve's an octopus, man. But Kwan's got the torso.
When it comes to torso, he's so on it.
I gotta get back to work. You guys sit anywhere you like.
Thanks, Zach.
So is this your table?
Oh, I guess they're all kind of mine. They're each my own little kitchen table.
- No call? - No call.
Don't worry.
- Rory, hey! Hey, Logan. - Hey.
- How's it going, man? - Good, good.
What brings you to this neck of the woods?
The Spring Fling.
And it's my neck, you know. Of the woods, I mean.
I wanted to show Logan around.
- Well, it's good to see you. - Yeah, you too.
You know, April's here for the festival too.
She's hanging out with her swim buddies right now,
- but I know she'd love to see you. - Oh, great.
You guys know what you want, or you need a minute?
- Do you wanna peruse the menu first? - Sure.
- We'll peruse. - Peruse away.
(SIGHS)
She'll call you. Now put it away.
- But... - Away.
You know, it's so not a big deal.
- What isn't? - Not getting this job.
I mean, it's not even my first choice.
What I really want is the Reston Fellowship.
And not getting this job is just...
- So not a big deal. - Okay.
Yeah, I mean, and Providence? It's no Manhattan.
- That's true. Because it's Providence. - Right.
What the hell?
RORY: Whoa!
LUKE: Taylor, you cannot...
- Taylor, what the hell are you doing? - Now, now, take it easy, Luke.
- I am taking it easy. - No, you're not.
The veins in your neck are starting to pop out at me.
Why is there a giant wall of hay right in front of my diner?
The entire town voted.
- I'm just executing what the town wants. - This is not what the town wants.
This is what you want!
Stars Hollow is better than colonial Williamsburg.
TAYLOR: Try and control your neck veins!
SOOKIE: So, they're staying in the trundle bed?
LORELAI: Yup.
SOOKIE: So if they're all cozy and trundley,
I guess that means Logan's out of the doghouse?
LORELAI: Out of the doghouse. Back to roaming the neighborhood.
- What is that tone? - Oh, no tone.
He's lovely. I'm glad that they're doing well and they're back together,
and that he stopped gallivanting.
- "Gallivanting"? - You know, gambling in Vegas,
jumping off buildings. Whatever it was he was doing.
Of course, I don't love that he was doing it so recently.
Sounds like Logan's still in somebody's doghouse.
No, no, no. Logan's a lovely young man. He's nice and polite and funny.
He's got that hair, you know, the hair that could sell shampoo to a bald man.
Mmm-hmm.
Logan is a very charming young man.
- I know that tone! - What tone?
- That! The sound of repressed judgment. - I don't know what you're talking about.
I am talking about last month at the bookshop bake sale
when Winsome Brown came up and told us that her daughter, Maud,
was just signed by Ford, you know, as a baby model?
And you were like, "Oh, Winsome, that's wonderful!"
"What a great way for a nine-month-old to see the world!"
- That's the exact same tone. - I don't mean to be judgmental.
I know. That's why you're talking like you've had your jaw wired shut.
I just...
I mean, Rory is an adult now, you know? She's riding trains and wearing suits.
Made sense for me to have an opinion when we were talking about Jess or Dean.
But with Logan, I don't know. It's just really not my place anymore.
- I see. - I mean, sure, I don't love
that he just did a business deal
behind his father's back and lost millions of dollars.
And I don't love that after that, he quit his job and moved in with Rory.
These are not things I love.
And I'm not crazy about the fact
that apparently, in the name of getting on his feet,
he's writing in some sort of idea book,
which, as far as I can tell, is just a notebook
in which he writes ideas.
- Wait, what? - Yeah. Right.
I mean, I have a dream journal but I don't use it as evidence of my responsibility.
Look, he's an over-coiffed, over privileged young man, but it's not my place...
- To judge. - Exactly!
Wait a minute. Where are the booths?
- Where are the booths? - I mean, the festival's tomorrow.
- All I see is hay! - A ridiculous amount of hay.
(GASPS) Wow.
- It's crowded. - Yeah. Full house, huh?
- APRIL: Lorelai! - Hey!
I'm gonna go find Jackson.
- I'll save you a seat. - Okay.
- April, hi! - Hey!
- How're you guys doing? - Oh, I'm fabulous.
Fabulous. So how is New Mexico treating you?
Have you had any interesting encounters with UFOs lately?
Tons. But you know what they say.
"What happens in Roswell stays in Roswell."
- Do they say that? - Well, she does.
Wow, someone got their ears pierced! Glamorous!
Thank you!
- Someone's growing up fast, huh? - No kidding.
I can hear you guys, you know. I'm getting us seats.
- All right, I'll be right there. - Okay.
- See you later, Lorelai. - Bye, hon.
So...
- So, how's the inn? - Good. It's full of Spring Flingers.
Oh, I bet.
- How's the diner? - Same as ever, you know.
Yeah.
(TAYLOR BANGING GAVEL)
If everybody would please take their seats, I'll call this meeting to order.
- Well, I guess we'd better... - See you later.
Okay.
Now, I am aware that a small but vocal minority of you have expressed concern
about the progress of this year's Spring Fling Festival.
I would like to take this time to assure you
that everything is going as planned.
(GRUMBLING)
So how was it with Luke?
Um... Polite, succinct, fine.
It is, Babette, I assure you! There's nothing to worry about.
But what about our booths? We don't have our booths!
Everything is under control.
Take, for instance, the hay bale maze is coming along wonderfully.
- It's taken over the whole town! - What do you mean?
There's hay everywhere! I haven't seen so much hay since...
- I have never in my life seen so much hay! - ALL: Yeah!
Would everyone please take a handful of chill pills?
Where the hell is my damn lemonade booth?
You don't need to worry about your lemonade booth.
Why not? The festival is tomorrow.
And I have to start squeezing my lemons,
and I don't have my equipment or my booth!
You don't have to worry about that, Gypsy,
because you don't need to squeeze lemons, because you don't need lemonade,
because there isn't going to be a lemonade booth this year.
What?
The budget for the lemonade booth has been reallocated to the hay bale maze.
What about Morey's salty nuts?
How's he supposed to have his salty nuts booth
if we don't have a lemonade booth?
If people start eating salty nuts and they don't have easy access to lemonade,
their mouths'll fall off!
Well, you don't have to worry about that, Babette,
because there's not gonna be a salty nuts booth,
because the budget for the salty nuts booth
has been reallocated to the hay bale maze.
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
BABETTE: What?
He spent the entire budget on the hay bale maze.
No.
I put the entire budget into the hay bale maze.
- No! - Taylor, you can't do that!
I have an inn full of guests who've come here,
who've traveled miles, who've withstood winter,
who've blow-dried their tongues off their swing sets,
- so they could get to the Spring Fling! - Yes!
They expect certain things. The traditional events. Pie-eating contests. Pony rides.
They don't want just a hay bale maze and nothing else!
Feast your eyes on this bad boy!
Taylor!
That goes right up to my diner! It's blocking my entire diner!
I don't get it! Is it a race?
You people clearly don't understand the long and rich history of mazes.
Ladies and gentlemen of Stars Hollow, perhaps this will help.
- LORELAI: Oh, my God! - What the hell is that?
KIRK: I am the Minotaur!
The weird thing is he's been in that head under that velvet cloth this whole time.
Although the word "labyrinth" is used interchangeably with "maze,"
maze scholars insist upon a distinction.
Hey, Kirk! What's with the cow's head?
TAYLOR: Where are you people going?
A labyrinth is a unicursal maze. A maze without branches, without choices.
- You ready, April? - Totally.
TAYLOR: This is important!
The Minotaur is speaking!
Blind alleys down which to proceed.
Now, the first maze in recorded history...
People are gonna miss your salty nuts, baby. They are!
Insane.
- Insane! - Insane!
- Hi, I'm home. - RORY: We're in here.
We got a new Thai menu. It looks kind of promising.
I don't know where Jessingan Way is though. Or never mind.
I am shocked.
I am shocked to find there is cooking going on in here.
- It is shocking, isn't it? - We're making paella.
Paella! Who can even spell "paella" let alone make it? That smells good!
Can I get you some wine? We have both red and white.
Yeah, in paella, there's chicken, sausage and shrimp, so anything goes.
Red, please.
- How's the town meeting? - Oh, yeah, how was Taylor?
- Logan's fascinated with Taylor. - He's fascinating.
He's insane.
He is ripping out the gazebo with a crane.
What? What do you mean?
He's ripping out the gazebo with a crane.
He thinks that it defeats the purpose of the maze
if we can still see a town landmark.
Wait. I cannot believe that he is doing that.
That gazebo has been there since Paul Revere was a baby boy.
- I know. So what can I do? How can I help? - You could chop peppers.
Peppers. Those are the... Oh, right.
Hey, how do you know how to make paella?
Well, when I was a junior at Exeter...
No, sorry, Andover, I did a semester abroad in Spain.
Spain, wow.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(EXCLAIMS) I think that's me.
So, I heard you had a really tough business deal. I'm sorry about that.
Oh, yeah. That's the way it goes. You know, these things happen.
The world of business is like an ocean. You just got to surf it.
(LAUGHS)
Right, but Rory said you're working on some new ideas. How's that going?
Great. Really great. It's an exciting time.
I mean, this is the real dot-com renaissance.
Everything's changing, from the way media is sourced,
to the way we buy things, to what we buy.
All the restrictions of the brick-and-mortar retail model
are gonna be a thing of the past.
Hmm.
Oh, yeah, it's way beyond Amazon and eBay now.
It's kind of like what's going on with these simulation games,
like Second Life or World of Warcraft.
Actual currency is being exchanged for virtual goods.
Oh, yeah?
I mean, theoretically, I could make a fortune
selling virtual light sabers or something on Everquest 2.
Whatever happened to selling encyclopedias?
Not virtual enough, I guess.
Ideas are really my commodity.
And with the experience I have and the contacts I've gained,
I really feel like with the right idea, boom, I could be right back on top.
Oh, my God! I got it! I got the job!
- Oh, my God, honey! - I can't believe it!
- I can! - I knew you were gonna get it!
- It's a real writing job. - A real writing job!
I mean, I'd have a salary, and a desk, and maybe even an office.
Not an office, but she did say something about a desk, and a salary, and a 401(k),
and I have to tell her yes or no by Monday. Oh, my God.
- I'm so proud of you, Ace. - Honey!
Someone actually wants to pay me to write.
- We need to celebrate. - Absolutely.
Here. All right. To you.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
- You know what this calls for? - What?
- Paella. - Yes.
RORY: It's a good job. LORELAI: It is.
LOGAN: Absolutely. RORY: It's a really good job.
RORY: I can't really imagine living in Providence, Rhode Island.
I don't think there's a lot going on there.
LOGAN: There's Brown and RISD.
It's a pretty cool college town.
Yeah, which would be great,
if I hadn't just spent the last four years in college in a college town.
It is a great paper though, and I guess that's the part to focus on.
- It's an excellent paper. - But it's kind of small, though.
Well, you could be the big fish in a small pond.
Yeah, which means I would actually get to write some articles,
which would be great, but I don't know, is it better to be a small fish in a pond
where I'm gonna learn more and have more career advancement opportunities?
You don't have to decide until Monday,
and between now and then you can eat a lot of pie.
- Yes. If we ever make it to Weston's. - Seriously.
- Where's this Weston's of yours? - Normally it's not far away.
But all this hay's blocking all the parking spots. There's too much hay.
Yeah, well, we're burning off a lot of calories,
so thank goodness you ordered an extra pie.
- Two extra pies, actually. - Nice!
To be quite honest, this is one of the best jobs I can imagine getting.
It's really great.
I know, but it's just one of, you know? It's not the best. It's just...
(SIGHS)
I don't know. I mean, if I take this job,
I'm giving up the chance at the Reston Fellowship.
Which you really, really want.
I'd be giving up The New York Times, you know?
But then, is it idiotic to give up a great job for this chance at another job?
Or not even a job. The fellowship's only a six-week paid internship.
Yeah, but if the fellowship is your dream... I don't know.
I guess I just... People should go for their dreams.
Yes, honey, I want all your dreams to come true.
So you gotta go for it sometimes.
Screw the 401(k).
Not everyone can live in that dream world.
It's not a dream world, necessarily.
Yes, it is, if you're talking about following your whims
and neglecting financial security.
I'm not saying to neglect financial security.
- Okay. - Not at all.
When you're 22, I don't think a 401(k) needs to be your top priority,
that's all I'm saying.
Right. Well...
All I'm saying is food costs money, and rent costs money.
And a salary gives you money, so that can be a good thing.
I agree. I'm aware of the reality of money.
- Okay. - All right.
You guys figure out my future, I'm gonna go pick up these pies.
I just got my first credit card statement.
I'm very much aware of the reality of money.
You just got your first credit card statement?
Earning money is great. It's just not everything.
No, I agree.
And I think in this particular situation, Rory should take the gamble.
The gamble? Rory's not a gambler, you know.
She's a thoughtful, deliberate decision-maker.
I know that.
You're a gambler. But that's not her.
Okay, cherry pie, banana cream pie and strawberry rhubarb pie.
Great!
I just figured if we're gonna do pie, we might as well do pie.
- Let's do pie. - Let's do pie.
- What're you doing awake, Ace? - RORY: Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
Pro-con list. A classic Rory Gilmore pro-con list.
- There's so many factors! - Yeah?
What about all the other newspapers that have my resume, you know?
Taking this job means rejecting all those other possibilities.
I should factor that in.
Or what about the very real possibility that print journalism is a dying animal?
I should factor that in as a pro,
because newspaper jobs might become increasingly rare
and I should snap up what I can get, but also as a con,
because I should be careful about getting too entrenched
in what could become an anachronistic medium.
"Pro, air quality in Providence as compared to air quality in Manhattan."
"Con, Chinese food quality in Providence"
"as compared to Chinese food quality in Manhattan."
- You need to go to sleep. - Oh, no! But these are pivotal hours.
I mean, these are the hours when I'm gonna make my decision.
You need sleep. Haven't you ever heard the expression "sleep on it"?
We can do a pro-con list about you doing a pro-con list,
but I say we do it in the morning.
- I guess I am kind of tired. - I bet.
(RORY YAWNS)
What are you doing there, babe?
Just trying to get my pants on and get some water.
Oh, yeah? Some water? With your pants?
Yeah. I don't wanna go out there without pants.
- Need to put a shirt on to get water? - Yeah, what if your mom's there?
I don't want her to think I'm David Hasselhoff or something.
She's not gonna think you're David Hasselhoff.
Socks?
Logan, she's not gonna think anything weird. I promise.
(GROANS)
Socks without shoes looks ridiculous. I'll be right back, sweetie.
All right. Good night, David Hasselhoff.
(EXCLAIMS)
- Oh, hey. - Hi.
I'm sorry. I didn't wake you, did I?
No, I was craving some pie, but you know what? I'm not hungry.
- I just needed some water. - That's okay.
See you in the morning.
- Lorelai? - Yeah?
- I want you to know I'm not a gambler. - Okay.
Look, I know that Rory tells you stuff and you know all these things about me.
Like I know you know I went to Vegas and all that,
and I just want you to know that's not who I am.
I don't want you to be worried.
I am worried. I'm a mom. That's what we do.
Okay, well, what exactly are you worried about?
Okay.
I'm worried that you're not worried enough. You take things lightly.
This whole "you got to surf the waves" attitude, "Cowabunga, dude"...
I mean, you just lost millions of dollars.
I know. I know I did. Believe me.
And I don't feel "Cowabunga, dude" inside.
- Believe me, I know I made a big mistake. - You do?
Yeah! But I don't wanna act like that in front of you.
I mean, for one thing, the whole self-flagellation thing,
it's kind of embarrassing,
and I want you to think well of me.
All right, well, it's good for me to know.
It's good for me to know that you know you made a mistake.
I made a mistake. I messed up.
- I really messed up. - Okay.
I think 401(k)s are important.
I think responsibility, and paying your bills,
and dealing with reality is important.
I'm beginning to learn about reality. I grew up with a lot of privilege.
Right, you had that whole silver spoon in the mouth thing,
- and that's not how I raised Rory. - I know that.
This was not a silver spoon household. This was spork city. All the way.
I get that and I respect that,
because I just spat out a whole
place-setting of sterling silver Royal Danish.
I left my dad's company, I left that world, because I have my own values.
I understand that.
I thought you would because that's what you did.
You left the world of privilege to do things your way.
I guess I never thought of it that way.
And you did it when you were younger and had a baby to take care of.
I know. That's really impressive.
I don't need you to be impressed by me.
- I just need you to know it wasn't easy. - I know that.
I didn't get anything like, boom, you know?
I worked hard for everything I got.
I wanna work. I'm ready to work. And I wanna work hard.
- All right, then. - All right, then.
Since we're up, do you think we should have some pie?
- Yeah. - Really?
Think we should have some vanilla ice cream on it?
That's my favorite.
I love vanilla ice cream.
(PIANO PLAYING)
KID: Are there any people chasing you?
No, it's just a maze. A maze made out of hay.
KID: And there's no people jumping at you with, like, squirt guns?
I don't think so, sweetie. It's just a maze.
But it's made out of hay!
So wait a minute. There's no lights or fireworks?
It's really just a maze made out of hay? What a drag!
You're preaching to the choir.
I can't believe we're finally here at the maze!
It's all I've dreamed since I could dream!
There is just something about being in a maze of hay! It's so much fun!
RORY: Totally.
Oh, man, am I glad I got out of that waterslide park
so I could come to the hay bale maze!
- Take it down, Olivier. - Not buying the waterslide thing?
Just keep it real.
The hay bale maze is gonna be really fun.
And then afterwards, Sookie has prepared hot dogs and funnel cakes and salty nuts.
All the festival classics.
- You like hay bale mazes? - Oh, yeah. I'm crazy about them.
- That's cool. - Come on, let's go!
- Hey, thanks. - No problem.
Wow, look at that!
Think maybe Taylor was right?
- RORY: Bite your tongue. - That man is a genius.
BABETTE: Whoa!
- Hi, guys! - That was "whoa," right, babe?
- You okay? - Maze. Just high on the maze.
TAYLOR: Let's go, people! Keep it moving!
(TAYLOR SNEEZES)
Damn allergies.
All right, next 10 can go.
(SNIFFLES)
No gum, no matches, no pushing, no shoving.
KIRK: No running in the maze!
Oh, and if you get lost in the maze, don't panic.
Just stand still, wave your hands and the maze guard will find you.
I'm gonna say hi to Sookie and Jackson. I'll be right back.
Hey, kids! Hi, you guys!
- Did the kids like the maze? - The kids loved the maze.
- We love the maze! - Really?
Yeah, it's really fun!
But it has no fireworks, no lights, no guys with squirt guns.
- Why is it so fun? - It's just cool!
So you know when you were making that pro-con list last night?
Yeah?
I kind of noticed that there was something on there about me.
- Yeah. I didn't know where to put you. - Yeah. I saw that.
You wrote "Logan" and then there were like three question marks.
Well, there are just so many factors.
And I wasn't sure to what extent I should factor you in.
I want you to know I don't want you to factor me in.
Oh.
Okay.
No, I mean I'm not sure exactly what I'm gonna be doing next,
and I know I wanna start putting my ideas out
and I know I wanna start working.
But I think you should do what you wanna do and then...
And then maybe I'll factor you in.
Oh.
You wanna factor me in?
Yeah, I'd like that. If you're in Providence,
maybe I'll come live in Providence.
That'd be great.
But, just in general, I'd like to factor you in too.
Okay. But for this one, you make your decision based on what you want for you.
You do what you want.
Okay.
(SIGHS)
- You know what I really want? - What's that?
I wanna go for the fellowship.
I'm gonna say no to the Projo.
Okay.
Yeah. I'm gonna go for it. Okay.
Okay. Next group!
No gum, no matches, no pushing, no shoving.
If you get lost in the maze, wave to the man on stilts.
You're good to go.
- Mom, you wanna come with us? - No, go ahead!
LUKE: You got the tuna there?
Tuna on rye. Tuna on wheat. Mayo, no mayo, respectively.
Yeah... No...
No, delivery time hasn't changed. Yeah.
No, no, no. The maze hasn't changed anything. Okay.
French dip, ham and Swiss, fries, fries, onion rings, roast beef, BLT, BLT, no B,
BLT, no T, turkey on rye, burger. Yes? No. No problem.
- Okay! - Okay, what?
Okay, I've got something to tell you.
I don't have time for dramatic pauses here, Zach.
I've mastered the maze. I have. At first, I thought I had to go around the maze
to make these deliveries, but dude, it's easier to go through the maze.
- Great, Zach. - I know!
At first, I wrote it down, you know, the path?
But I don't need it because it's all up here. Or in here.
Check it out. Eyes closed. It goes left, right, right, left, left,
left, right... Wait.
Left, left, right...
Don't give it away. I'm dying to go through the maze!
- I bet it's fabulous. - It so is.
- Go. - Go?
Go through the maze.
- But don't you need help here? - No. I don't need you.
- Bye, Dad! - Have a fabulous time.
I got a patty melt burger, well done, pastrami on rye, chili dog,
- and a few orders of fries. - I'm good to go, man.
- You know what I'm gonna do? - I can't begin to imagine.
I'm gonna go through the maze at night. All alone. Me. A blindfold.
- You know how I can do it? - How's that?
- I can smell the hay. - We can all smell the hay.
No, dude, I can smell the hay.
Oh, God, hey. Hey. Hay.
- You got snacks! - Yeah, well, Zach forgot these.
The hay's kind of gone to his head.
Anyway, he gave me these directions here, so I just...
- Look! - Go right, left, right... What?
- What is that? - April gave it to me.
- You have a bracelet on your wrist. - She's into jewelry.
It's just a phase. What could I do?
- Wow! - (LAUGHS) You know.
It's just one of these crazy phases.
And I was just getting used to the fact that I have a daughter.
Now all of a sudden, I have a teenager.
It's wild, you know. Time just goes by, you know...
- Luke. - Yeah?
I'm sorry.
Yeah, I'm sorry too.
- No. Let me go first. - Okay.
I messed up. That night I went to Christopher...
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
I mean, I never admitted it to you that it was wrong what I did.
And it was. And I'm really sorry.
Okay. Thanks.
(SIGHS)
I don't know why I didn't say this before.
(SCOFFS)
You know...
I'm sorry too, 'cause... I don't know, it's just...
Now that I've had April, it's...
You know, I've learned a lot.
And I was crazy to think that I had to fix everything in my relationship with April
before I could really be with you.
And that's just not how you fix things.
I mean, things just don't stand still. They're always changing.
Yeah.
I guess I was compartmentalizing, if that's what you call it.
I should've opened my compartments. I should have gotten your help.
- I wanted to help. - I know. And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry also because I think I kind of used April to push you away.
- You did, huh? - Yeah, I think so.
I was afraid. And... I'm so sorry.
It's really okay.
- I'm glad. - Me too.
I got some fries that are getting cold.
Yeah, well, I gotta find my way out of here.
By the way, you're really close. Just go left, two rights, and you're out.
Thanks.