We'll email lower league clubs. I'm not playing for a lower league club!
It's all going to be fine. Do you know what, I'm going out.
No, you're not, we're going to make a plan. There is no plan!
This was the plan! No, it wasn't. And you're not going anywhere.
I swear, if you don't move... Get out of the way! I mean it!
Or what? Just move!
So you can turn your back on everything you've worked for?
I said move! And I said no.
THUMPING
Argh!
Jason Neale. Hi, Jason, I'm Suni, Dr Bulsara, have a seat.
Right.
Could you turn that off, please?
That's all I do during the sessions.
So, Jason, shall we start talking about what these
sessions are for, why you're here?
Because I pushed my mum,
she broke her arm and a doctor said I should come and see you.
But it's OK, it's not going to happen again.
So it's never happened before? No. So why this time?
I was upset because I got released. Released from where?
My football club.
When you're in the academy at a pro club,
you're retained or released at the end of every season.
I got released. I'm sorry to hear that.
How long had you been there for? Since I was eight.
And how did that make you feel? Like everything I've lived for is gone.
It's all in here, isn't it?
I let myself down, let everyone down.
Mum.
Is that what you think she thinks? No, not her, myself.
Losing everything I've worked for.
She's forgiven me,
I don't know why. She should kick me out.
Why should she kick you out?
Because of what I did. What did you do? I told you, I pushed her.
So how did it happen?
Yes. No, I understand. No, I'm the housing officer. You need to call
the association.
Sorry, I've got another call, I'd better take this,
can I call you back? Thank you.
Hello?
Yes, it is.
Yes, I'm his mother. Hang on...
She wants me to start again, find another academy that'll take me in.
And how do you feel about that?
Like maybe I'm not good enough.
Like the coaches that told me
I didn't have what it takes were right,
that I wasn't learning, that I thought the game was
all about me, that I shouldn't look for battles.
And is that what you were doing? Did I get angry, you mean? Yeah.
Sometimes...
..but I never hurt anyone if that's what you're asking.
I'm just trying to figure out where the anger comes from. I don't know.
So how did it happen, the push?
I just had to get out of there.
I'd just been let go.
I was angry, raging, and then...
..I can't believe I broke my own mum's arm.
Is that why you told the doctor about it? I suppose.
But you said it's not going to happen again? I don't think so.
What team do you support? Rovers. The same one that released me.
Awkward.
HE SCOFFS
OK, that's fine.
It would be good to know sooner rather than later.
I'm waiting to hear back from other clubs as well.
So close. See, this is the technique, you have to whip it up.
Really? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe not. That
ain't it at all. Terrible! Terrible.
Like this, OK?
HE LAUGHS
Oh! OK. OK.
I'll look forward to your email.
Everything all right?
Yeah, all good. Great. Why don't you wait by the lift?
See you, Jason.
It's good to see him smiling again. It's just a start.
I was going to say, and since it was an accident and you're so busy,
do you really think he needs to keep coming?
Well, yes. I mean, it was his decision, after all,
and you know you're entitled to the sessions?
PHONE RINGS
So you think he needs them all?
To get at the heart of things, I'd say so,
but I guess that really... I'm so sorry, I have to go.
What's going on? What happened? There was an explosion. What?
What are you talking about?
In the building I was in, the conference. I was trapped.
You were trapped? For how long? Not long. Are you OK?
Yes, they've just checked me over and I'm fine.
You could be in shock. I'm OK.
I was with another GP the whole of the time, after the explosion,
from the Mill Health Centre. And what did the consultant say?
I didn't see the consultant, I saw the registrar. Why?
Didn't you tell them who you are? I didn't see the need.
Which proves you're not acting like you normally would, Mum.
Now, please, tell me what happened.
You sound like you're with one of your patients. I feel like I am!
You love your work here, don't you? Yeah.
And what about the locum-ing?
Why are we talking about this right now?
It's you we should be worried about.
Really? When have I ever worried about myself?
And saying that proves I'm acting exactly like I normally would. Well?
Now, come on, let's go.
SHE CHUCKLES
OK.
Mum? Mum, it's OK.
SHE SOBS
Mum, it's OK. I'm here.
Well, when you get to the ginger, don't go too deep,
we don't want to take the flesh off with the skin.
We're not made of money, right? We are not made of money.
What about the chicken? The chicken I can do with one hand.
Listen, Mum... Chicken, rice, protein and carbs. Right.
But no need to worry about food groups now? No?
This came...
..from Scotland.
OK, so we started talking last week about when you feel angry
and where that might come from.
Did you have a chance to think about that? Not really.
And have you felt angry recently? No. Any reason why?
I don't know.
I suppose thinking about the academy, getting released,
that's what gets me angry.
But you did get angry, you said you get angry when you play.
Yeah, cos you might be on the bench the whole game, then
when you do get your chance to play, you're in pain, Osgood-Schlatter's
in your knees, Sever's in your ankles, traction in the hips.
And you play even when you have those conditions?
Well, yeah, they're just growing pains, they're not going to
hurt you. No, but they could hurt your development. The coaches
aren't interested in any of that, they just want to know
if you're fit to play or not. And if you're not,
is there something wrong with you,
or is there something wrong with you up here?
That's how they make you feel - that it's your fault...
..like your opinion doesn't matter. Like you're stupid.
It's my life, so why can't I have a say in how it goes?
So you felt like the club always felt like they knew best?
Not just the club. No?
I told my mum I didn't want to play for another club
but she phoned up and got me a trial anyway.
Oh, isn't that a good thing, getting straight back on the bike?
That's not the point. She did it without asking!
The club's in Scotland. SCOFFS: So? Scottish football?
Yeah.
My dad used to say... Your dad?
He didn't think that much of it.
But that was a long time ago.
He died when I was six.
Is that what you were after? Yeah.
It's just my mum and me.
Which doesn't mean I'm going, by the way. Of course not.
That's up to you, isn't it, Jason?
I got you the rioja.
Excellent. Thank you.
Mm, delicious. How was your day? Interesting.
A 16-year-old just got released from a professional football
academy. He's been there since he was eight.
Actually, I was going to pick your brains, run a scenario by you.
OK, pick away. All right. Could you ever forgive me if I hurt you?
Hurt me? How?
By telling me at 17 you'd changed your mind about going into medicine?
Well, that didn't last, did it? No, I mean physical harm.
Pushing, an accident, but Mum's arm got broken.
Her arm got broken? Mm-hm. Are you sure it was an accident? I think so.
That's what she said. So if it was us, me, would you forgive me?
Where's Dad? He died.
Why did her son push her?
She was trying to stop him from going out. So he shoved her? Yeah.
But he didn't mean to do her any harm? I don't think so.
Then, yes, I would forgive you. Don't try it, mind you.
Then don't try and stop me going out. Really?
When have I ever stopped you from doing anything?
So, aren't you going to ask about my day? How was your day, Mother?
Well, you remember I was trapped
with a doctor from the Mill Health Centre?
Yeah, and...? I've decided to buy into her practice as a partner.
Excuse me? I wanted to surprise you.
Oh, mission accomplished!
Do you think you have delayed concussion or something?
Perhaps you'd have been better seeing this GP about it.
It all makes perfect sense,
so that's why I got you a new job,
working at the Mill Health Centre with me.
But what about my clinic at St Phil's?
You can carry on working at St Phil's, too. It's all been agreed.
You're unbelievable. Thank you, darling.
What, the new practice just accepted it? Of course.
They virtually begged me.
I'll have the special, lasagne.
So how have you been? Yeah, good.
I'm going up to Scotland for that trial. You decided to go?
Yeah, my mum's going to take some holiday and come up with me.
She's arranged everything.
OK. Only, just last time, you seemed uneasy with the idea of other
people taking control of your life.
It's not like I can go up on my own. No?
What if they want you permanently,
is your mum going to go up and live with you?
I don't know.
Well, I'm sure they have digs, you could probably stay with a family.
Sorry, are you saying she shouldn't come up with me?
No, that's up to you. Except what you're saying...
..is that it's not.
That's what you're implying. No, no, no,
I just thought I'd point out that last time
we spoke, you didn't like the fact that your mum had arranged
you that trial after you'd told her not to.
I just want to establish you feel in control of the situation.
Are you saying my mum's controlling me? Is she controlling you? No!
And I don't like how you're trying to turn things around,
putting ideas in my head, making them out to be my own!
And my mum did not get me to go up for that trial, I decided myself.
And that she'd go with you?
Look, if you're going to start blaming my mum...
I'm really not, but, Jason, look,
this is the first time in our sessions you've got angry.
Because you're saying my mum's the problem!
I'm really not, I just think we should examine the relationship.
Just leave her out of it! Can you sit back down first, please?
Yes, that's right, one twin room.
I don't know for how long, my son's coming up for a trial
with the football team.
Yes, thank you.
I hope so, too.
First, you need to relax and try and name five things you can see.
And I'm supposed to do this when I get angry?
Yes, it's a coping mechanism.
HE SIGHS
A desk.
A chair. Mm-hm?
A lamp.
A book.
Someone sitting judging me.
I'm not judging you. Now, how about four things you can physically feel?
A chair.
A table.
A tissue box.
A water bottle. Good.
Now three things you can hear.
HE SIGHS
Traffic.
Air conditioning.
My breath.
Two things you can smell?
Hospital food.
Erm, I don't know what the other smell is.
Let's call it antiseptic.
Finally, one thing you can taste?
Failure.
You're late.
I'm your mother.
I thought the others might have been here, our new workmates?
So, your first day at the Mill. Did you love it? It was OK. "OK"?
That's what I got blown up for? You were there, Mum. But busy as usual.
My car alarm kept going off. Yes, I heard it.
I think people found it annoying. They did.
And that Sid Vere, we did not get off to the greatest start.
It'll be OK. You worry too much.
So, how's your footballer?
Yeah, we're making progress, I think.
How long has it just been the two of them, him and Mum?
His dad died when he was six, his mum's had to do everything since.
So is that what this is all about?
He finds it hard to do anything on his own.
I mean, his mum's taking him to Scotland for a football trial.
Mothers will do anything for their children.
We just want you to succeed. Mm.
Now, I'll have the special.
Salmon en croute.
How's the training? Cold.
But good? Yeah, good. Good.
Any issues? Like...?
I don't know, you tell me.
No, nothing. Good.
And how about your mum,
what did she do all day? Tried to stay warm, came to watch me play.
Then, after three days, they offered me a scholarship. You're joking.
Congratulations! Yes!
Thanks.
HE SIGHS
But I haven't accepted the offer. Why not?
It's Scotland. So? Come on. You sound just like my mum!
Saying that she's gone all the way up there with me, backed me,
my dream, which she has, but...
..really...whose dream is it?
Not yours? Not in the first place.
It was my dad's.
And he wasn't keen on Scotland, was he?
SCOFFS: He wasn't keen on anyone apart from Rovers.
He died when I was still in the pre-academy. But it was his club,
the one that he'd always supported.
Being there was like keeping
him alive, but when they released me...
How did you feel then?
Like I'd let him down.
Do you really think that's how he'd feel?
HE SIGHS
Mum says that he'd be proud of me, that he'd want me to sign.
You're not sure?
I don't know. I can't remember much,
just what Mum tells me, that I'm doing this for him.
It's like she's already decided I'm going!
If you want to do it anyway, why are you getting angry?
It's the pressure of doing it for him...and her.
But apart from that, you'd like to do it?
Yeah, absolutely. All good. We'll speak to you again soon. Bye-bye.
OK? Yeah. Yeah, it is. I'm going to accept the scholarship.
I knew it, I knew he'd come around. I'd better... Right, see you.
So we finally got onto Dad.
It was always going to be about that.
Is that right? Well, I'm no therapist... No.
And with my boy, it seems like most of what
he remembers about him comes from his mum.
Well, at least you didn't have to worry about that. No.
But Dad wasn't exactly around to see me wobble, was he? So what?
All a wobble means is that you didn't fall.
Because you stopped me, Mum. No, I was there to help you.
I think the Mill, the Campus,
St Phil's, your father would be very proud of you.
Not exactly a surgeon, am I?
But he'd be proud you're going your own way. But am I?
Everything I've got, I got through you.
No, I encouraged you.
I love you very much, and I'm very proud of you.
I'm not going just because she wants me to.
So you're going to turn it down?
The more she tells me what to do, the less I'm going to do it.
OK, so why do you think she wants you to do it so much?
You'd have to ask her.
Do you think it has something to do with your dad?
I mean, you mentioned wanting to keep his memory alive.
My dad was a decent player, apparently.
Could have made it himself, but then he met my mum.
That's what she says anyway.
So she feels guilty? Maybe.
Which would explain why she is so focused on your success.
Yeah, but it's too much. I have to make my own decisions.
Then you've got to do that, man.
Take everyone else out of the equation and just do
what you want to do.
Thank you.
You went on your own?
Why shouldn't I? Why would you when I could be there to support you?
You worried I might say something?
What are you doing? I'm packing.
Why? Because I cannot let you give up on your dream.
Right, boots... Leave them.
..artificial grass,
soft ground...firm ground...
I said leave them!
You know, the problem isn't that you broke my arm,
the problem is up here, there is something wrong with you up here!
Your father would be turning in his grave! Shut up, Mum.
And if he heard you saying that...
And if he heard me saying that, what?
What you going to do this time, break my other arm?
HE BREATHES DEEPLY
What are you doing?
What you looking at?
The sofa.
The TV.
The speaker.
Why?
The photo of Dad.
Your face.
DISTANT TRAFFIC RUMBLES
Traffic.
DISTANT CHILD'S VOICE
The neighbours.
Maybe we should go back to the doctor's?
My football boots again.
Dinner...again...
..and I can taste it, too.
I'm going to miss that chicken rice. Why?
We'll still be able to eat the same food up there. No, we won't.
Not when I'm doing it. You won't have to, I will.
No. I've looked into it.
The club can arrange for me to go up there on my own.
I can live in digs with a family,
and you can have your life back.
Meet someone. No, I want to go with you.
Sorry, Mum.
Sorry.
I'm sorry for everything.
Now move.
Aren't you going to leave me any?
You get later every single time, Mum. Responsibilities of management,
putting food on the table.
Chin-chin. Cheers.
Are you in a mood?
No, just something Luca said. What did Luca say?
Oh, just politics, jealousy, you know.
But anyway, I think I helped sort my footballer out. And was I right?
Daddy issues? Mostly.
And Mum. Enmeshment.
That's what we're calling it these days?
That's what we're calling it, Mum.
Special? What is it? It doesn't say.
It says to ask at the bar, but that seems a long way to go.
Two specials? Without even knowing what it is? Let's live dangerously.
What do you say? Yes, on one condition, you let me pay, OK?
OK, then. Thank you. You're welcome.
MUSIC: Angels by Robbie Williams
# A lot of love and affection
# Whether I'm right or wrong
# And down the waterfall
# Wherever it may take me
# I know that life won't break me
# When I come to call
# She won't forsake me
# I'm loving angels instead
# When I'm feeling weak and my pain walks down
# A one-way street
# I look above
# And I know I'll always be blessed with love
# And as the feeling grows
# She breathes flesh to my bones
# And when love is dead
# I'm loving angels instead. #
How is everything? At home, I mean.
It can't be easy. No.
You really think she'll have me back?
Yes, women do this, Son, throw their toys around.
I love you.
SHE SOBS
Oh, and I love you, too, sweetheart.