This programme deals with Self-Harm.
You're not Tash! Right, so there's
nothing wrong with your eyesight, we can tick that off the list.
Who are you? I'm Nurse McIntyre,
I've been away on extended leave,
but I'm back now and I'll be sharing duties with Tash.
You can call me Luca. I think I'll stick with "Nurse".
I understand how it can be hard to adapt to a new face,
but I am just as friendly as Tash,
I promise. You best come in.
Detainee with a nose bleed? Right. Doctor,
it's good to see you. And you.
Listen, I meant to say, my very first shift as an FME, I loved
this job.
And, in spite of everything, that opinion hasn't changed.
No. We don't want to lose you. Superintendent?
We'll talk later.
Yeah, well, you know where to find me.
That's healing up nicely.
Tash has done a good job. I'm just going to give it a clean,
then I can put a new dressing on. How did it happen?
Getting my violin down from the attic, I caught it on the ladder.
Are you any good?
I used to play for the Leeds Symphony. No way!
I used to play second triangle at St Brendan's Academy.
THEY LAUGH
So you were a professional?
I started off in a youth orchestra,
and ended up at the National Philharmonic.
Wow! There's nothing like playing in a full orchestra,
everyone adding their own element to make one magnificent whole.
And then, after the climax, there's this pause,
and then the applause,
it washes over you like a wave of love.
So what was your violin doing in the attic?
Derek, that's my husband,
he didn't want me putting myself through the stress of public
performance, so he encouraged me to give it up.
Until last week, I hadn't picked up my bow for two years.
You miss playing?
Every second of every day.
That security guard could have snapped me in half, and for what?
Some steaks and some prosecco. Let me have a look? OK, head down.
Yeah, bleeding's stopped.
Oh, ruined me top. Carly, are you taking any drugs?
A bit of weed, yeah. Been on that since I was a kid.
But I've never touched anything harder.
So if you're not funding a habit, then... This isn't how it goes.
I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.
All the cops are interested in is getting me to admit that I did it.
They don't care why. Well, I care.
So is there anything else I can help you with?
The bleeding's stopped, yeah? Yeah. So I can do me interview and do one?
If the bleeding starts again, let the custody sergeant know.
Ta, Doc.
I'm sorry, I've run out of milk.
That's OK. We'll let it brew. Yeah.
Are you still taking your antidepressants? I've run out.
When?
Oh, a couple of weeks ago.
You know it's not a good idea to stop just like that?
I didn't mean to. You forgot to refill your prescription?
You know why I couldn't get to the surgery.
You don't always have to see a doctor now, or even a pharmacist.
You can do it all online, get them delivered straight to your door.
Well, how do I go about doing that?
You just go on your NHS app, and where it says,
"Repeat prescriptions..."
That's no good to me.
You don't have the app? I don't have a mobile phone.
You can do it on a computer.
You don't have a computer?
I've never had one. You've got a landline. It's been cut off,
some dispute over an unpaid bill,
and I couldn't call them to get it reconnected. Judith,
do you think you've lost weight?
A couple of pounds.
Are you struggling to get to the shops?
It started about six months ago, just after Derek left.
I went to the village.
I was queuing up in the bank, and suddenly, I couldn't breathe.
I thought I was going to be sick,
it was as if someone had sucked all the oxygen out of the room.
You were having a panic attack?
I didn't know that's what it was at the time.
You'd never experienced anything like that before?
I always had a few butterflies before a public performance,
the rehearsals can be stressful, but nothing I couldn't deal with.
But now, the very thought of going
ever back to the village again is petrifying!
I just know it would happen again,
and I know next time it would be worse!
Specific locations can become a focus of anxiety.
If it was just the shops I could deal with it, but now I can't even
put the bins out without feeling
sick and breaking out into a sweat.
Is there anyone else that can help? No.
There's nobody.
So this all looks really good, but I do have one big question. OK.
You want to work all day at the surgery,
but then here in the evenings?
Yeah, but don't worry, I can totally manage.
I'm all for people having more than one job,
as long as when you're here, you are totally here.
'Course. Honestly, I need the money.
But more than that, I want to have some fun. Bar work isn't easy.
Oh, no, I know, but after spending a day dealing with
grumpy sick people, it will be nice to spend the evening
with some happy drinkers.
When can you start? When do you want me? Can you come in tonight?
Bit of training, quarter past eight?
I'll introduce you to some of the team. Can't wait.
See you then.
Right, so when I go back to The Mill,
I've got a bit of a to-do list.
I will talk to your GP about your antidepressants
and getting some CBT arranged. Thank you.
Dr Carmichael can look into co-ordinating with some
support agencies and charities. Charity?
Yeah, they can help get your phone reconnected,
maybe even help with your shopping.
I'm not an invalid, I can do this myself.
No-one's going to judge you, OK? We just want to help.
As soon as you're back on track,
everybody will be more than happy to leave you to it.
Thank you.
CAR APPROACHES
Actually, there might be another answer a little bit closer to home.
Yes? Hello, I'm Nurse McIntyre. Your neighbour is a patient of mine. And?
I was wondering if we might have a quick chat.
I've just broken through to the aliens' nest. Sorry? Oh, come in,
come on, or my whole platoon will be annihilated!
The trick is to keep reloading.
If you run out of bullets and grenades,
the aliens will suck your brains out.
HE LAUGHS
Judith Marsh. Who's that? Your neighbour. Hardly ever see her.
Then have you not thought to introduce yourself?
Oh, there's nothing to stop her knocking on my door.
Take that, you Plutonian freak!
But you're the only two houses for half a mile.
I haven't got time to be chatting over the garden fence. Yes!
Level up. BeserkerBrenda51 saves the universe...
CHUCKLES: ..again.
It might not be as exciting as fighting aliens,
but I do have a mission for you.
Scarlett, just the person. What's up?
The temp agency have let us down. Not for the first time.
So can you stay on and cover evening surgery? Erm, no. Why not?
Sorry, I'm busy. Can't you just change your plans?
SCOFFS: What - just like that?
What do you have to do that's so important?
You can't ask me that. What I do in my private time is my business.
My bad. How about...
..I make it time and a half?
OK.
But only if you promise that I can be out of here for eight.
Yes, 100%. Thanks, Scarlett.
Judith, Brenda. Brenda, Judith. Hi.
Pleased to meet you. Hi. This is my backup machine,
it's only got two gigabytes,
but that should be enough to get you going.
I understand you haven't got an internet connection.
Well, you can piggyback on my Wi-Fi until you get that sorted.
What's a gigabyte? You are joking?
Judith might need a little bit of help. How could you do that?
Do what? Let yourself get left behind.
And don't use your age as an excuse. There's courses for oldies.
It's too late for me to learn anything new. Too late?
There's ten-year-olds can do it!
Can we get back to why we're here, please?
I only needed my bandages changing. I'm wasting good game time.
Maybe this is all too much for you.
I guess some people just don't want to join the 21st century.
JULIA STARTS GASPING
Hey, hey, hey! Listen, let's sit down. It's OK. It's happening!
Slow, deep breaths.
It's OK. In through your nose, out through your mouth.
SHE INHALES
In through your nose, out through your mouth.
SHE EXHALES That's it, that's it, it's OK.
We were nearly finished.
All I had to do was read me statement and sign it, then whoosh,
blood everywhere. OK, keep the pressure on, please.
Can you just fix it for good this time? I've got to get back to work.
Why, have you got more shoplifting to do?
Well, I can't go home empty-handed.
Why not? Ryan will be waiting.
Ryan? Me fella.
Is that who you're stealing for? No comment.
Let me have a look.
Yeah, it's stopped bleeding. About time.
So will Ryan be waiting for you outside? No, no way.
He can't find out I've been nicked again. Why?
Is he worried that you might get a custodial sentence this time?
He doesn't care what happens to me.
Then why are you so...worried about his reaction?
Carly, I really am here to help you, you know.
Will you show me your arm, please? Please.
EMMA SIGHS
Ryan doesn't like it when I mess up.
Oh, Carly.
That's it. In...and out.
What's wrong with her? Slow, deep breaths. That's OK, it's OK.
You're doing good. Was it something I said?
Judith's husband used to tell her that it was all too much for her.
SIGHS: Oh, I didn't know!
How could you? And you're not well, are you?
Not just your arm. Agoraphobia.
That's why you can't do your own shopping. Why didn't you say?
I used to perform in front of hundreds of people. Heads of state.
Even the Queen once.
How could I admit that I can't even leave my own house?
We've got to get this sorted. You'll need a mouse, I've got a spare.
While I'm here, you couldn't have a look at my leg, could you?
You're not my patient.
I am doing you a favour. I think I might have pulled something.
So have you ever spoken to anyone about all this?
Who'd listen?
What about your family?
Dad left before I was born,
and Mum...
..she died five years ago.
That's when I really lost it.
Screwed up at school. Had to go into foster care till I was 18.
I'm sorry. So do you live with Ryan now?
He's got a flat.
He's the only one who's ever cared.
He took me in, and he buys me stuff,
and he says I'm special.
Tell me how it all works, the shoplifting with Ryan.
He goes out on the estate, taking orders,
and then I go and make sure everything's ticked off the list.
But it's getting harder because he wants me
to get stuff that's too bulky to hide, or it's got security tags.
So you're the one taking all the risks, then?
What I don't get is why he sends me back to the same shop.
Like this morning. I've already been caught in there, they know me face!
There's plenty of places that sell sirloin and prosecco,
but Ryan insisted it had to be that one.
What happens if you don't get everything on the list?
That's when Ryan says I have to be taught a lesson. A lesson?
He loves me.
But when he's putting that cigarette out into your arm,
does he love you then?
Is that love?
You're right. Things need to change.
Carly, I will do everything I can to help you.
You already have.
I need to be more careful.
I need to make more of an effort not to get caught, and if I get
everything off the list, well, then, he can't punish me, then, can he?
Anyways, I best be off.
How long have you been having discomfort for?
A week. And you weren't concerned enough to get it checked out?
Too busy saving the universe.
HE LAUGHS
Well, there is some redness and swelling,
and this area is a lot warmer than the rest of your leg.
What does that mean?
Well, you'll need tests, but it could be deep vein thrombosis.
An ultrasound will confirm it.
Well, I'll phone the doctor and make an appointment.
No, it's not going to wait.
If it is a blood clot and it moves, it could go up into your lung.
Sounds like lots of ifs to me.
Brenda, we need to find out what's going on now.
If you don't believe him, get on your internet and diagnose yourself.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Come in.
Emma. Superintendent. Just wanted a quick word about Carly Hayes.
Yeah, come in. Is she all right?
She has signed a statement against her boyfriend.
They've just sent a unit to bring him in. Well, good.
I have to say I'm surprised. Well, she says that it's all down to you,
that you made her see that she had to change her life.
I just gave her a nudge, really. No, you made a real difference.
I was hoping Carly Hayes might have changed your mind.
She did.
She'd made me realise that just patching victims up isn't
enough any more.
I want to do something where I can really help, so I'm going to
get in touch with some charities who work with survivors of abuse.
Well, they'll be lucky to have you.
Sure you don't just want to sleep on it? I have.
Sometimes you just...
..you just know when it's time.
Well, nothing more I can do.
Good luck, Doctor, and thank you.
There's localised pain
and swelling in the right calf,
but no noticeable sign
of breathlessness.
You're going to be all right.
Am I? No, I'm sorry, I can't!
SHE GASPS
What's the matter? You don't understand. Then talk to me.
Last year, Colin was in the garden.
I was making lunch when I realised the mower had gone silent.
He was just lying there. His lips were blue.
I did CPR on him until the ambulance arrived.
They said I'd saved his life.
We were only two minutes away from the hospital when he died.
That's what happened the last time I was in the back of an ambulance.
Oh, let me off this...! You have to go. But can't you come with me?
I can't, I've got other patients.
I'll go. Really?
Or you can try your pizza delivery man.
Oh! Oh, thank you.
OK!
How are you feeling?
You stayed!
I thought you might be thirsty.
Have they done their tests?
Well, they've given me something to break up the clot.
Oh, well, that's good!
I can't tell you how good it is to see a friendly face!
Well, I wasn't sure if there would be enough room for me.
What do you mean?
Well, I thought the place might be packed out
with all your virtual friends.
So now you're a comedian. No, but...
..you do owe me an apology. What for?
How could you badger me about my lack of technical abilities
when it's you, sitting there,
glued to the computer that's probably brought on this blood clot?
Hour after hour, playing your games, and ordering your takeaways,
and look where you are...
SHE SOBS
Oh! I did not mean to upset you. No. No, you're right.
What I've got, it's not a life!
Kettle's only just boiled. No, thanks.
Bear, prepare a press release,
Luca McIntyre just turned down a cup of tea. What's up, champ?
I just got sent out to dress a wound
and somehow ended up playing referee between two neighbours.
Both retired women, both living alone,
but couldn't have been more different, you know.
One's totally embraced modern technology,
but her neighbour, she's never even had a computer.
Well, you don't even need one these days,
you can do everything on your phone. Hasn't got a mobile. What?
Yeah, lots of people have fallen through the gaps,
don't have any internet access at all.
Oh. Erm, I saw something the other day.
Yeah, the community centre is doing a course in digital literacy.
Maybe your patient could join that? I'll ask her.
Transport might be an issue.
Well, they're actually looking for volunteers, too.
What are the dates? Have a look.
Colin had two children from his first marriage.
Being a stepmother didn't come easily, but I tried my best.
I just didn't realise how guilty he felt about their mother's death...
..till I read his will.
He left the house to them.
So that's how you ended up living next door?
I was heartbroken, and homeless.
I just bought the first place I saw, I didn't think through how
isolated the area was, how quiet it would be without Colin.
So I filled the empty hours with online gaming and deliveries.
But nothing can replace what we had before.
What a pair we are!
SHE CHUCKLES
Right, if itching persists, then just double the dose, OK? Take care.
Thank you.
You know, sometimes you cannot help
but be reminded what a small, insignificant planetoid we live on.
Mr Grimes... Some other time, I've got to go.
All right, one - rude.
Two - you are missing out on a hell of an anecdote here.
Bear said I'd be out of here for eight!
All right, Little Miss Look-How-Important-My-Life-Is,
I'll gather my belongings
and we can leave together, eh? Thanks.
Yeah, taxi, please.
You just click on the items you want,
it adds it to the basket, and when you've finished shopping,
you just arrange your delivery time.
You do make it sound easy.
Well, I'll help you with your first few orders.
And then what are we going to do?
I'll be sitting in my house, cooking my meal for one,
and you'll be next door, doing the same!
Hardly! Why do you think I order so many takeaways?
Colin was a chef,
I can't cook for toffee. Oh.
OK.
Look, if you help me with the ordering,
I'll show you how to boil an egg without burning the water.
SHE LAUGHS
Deal! You're a clever woman,
you could easily have mastered a computer or a smartphone,
so why haven't you?
Well, Derek always had the latest phone or computer,
and he said that I needn't
worry about anything like that.
Hmm, your Derek sounds a bit of a control freak.
I couldn't see it at the time.
Just like I didn't realise that he'd met someone else on an online
dating forum.
Oh! He did what?
SHE LAUGHS
Oh, I'm sorry!
It's just, well, no wonder he didn't want you on his computer
if he was spending all his time flirting with BigByNature69!
SHE LAUGHS
You're right!
I need to gain control of my life again!
And I need to stay out of online chatrooms,
and start having chats with a real friend.
I'll drink to that!
SHE LAUGHS
16 quid for ten minutes?
Hiya.
I said 8.15. Sorry, there was traffic.
If you're not serious about the job,
there are plenty of other people out there. No, I am!
It won't happen again, I promise. OK.
So this is where you're going to be spending most of your time.
For the first few days, I'm going to have you cleaning tables
until you've done your bar training.
And I know it's quiet at the moment,
but student nights and weekends, it can be pretty full-on.
I don't mind hard work. Oh, glad to hear it.
But if you do find yourself flagging,
soft drinks are free for staff,
so you can help yourself now if you want. Thanks.
So bottled beers and flavoured ciders are in this fridge.
And this week we have a guest gin, so we are just trying to push that.
All right.
I'm sorry, there should be somebody here.
Yes, it shouldn't be left empty
but I've heard you've got someone starting today. Ego te absolvo.
Ergo exi, transgressor. Let's get started. Absolutely!
Let's talk about a new reception desk, for starters.
The secret ingredient is courgette. Sounds delicious!
Frances has been possessed by the Devil.