1 00:00:00,354 --> 00:00:01,479 ♪ Born on the wrong end Of the leash ♪ 2 00:00:01,563 --> 00:00:04,104 -♪ He was a dreamer ♪ -♪ And a little schemer ♪ 3 00:00:04,187 --> 00:00:05,813 ♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪ 4 00:00:05,896 --> 00:00:07,438 ♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪ 5 00:00:07,521 --> 00:00:08,354 ♪ He'd start to drool ♪ 6 00:00:08,438 --> 00:00:10,146 -♪ One day he says ♪ -♪ I'll take a chance ♪ 7 00:00:10,229 --> 00:00:11,855 ♪ Trades his leash For a pair of pants ♪ 8 00:00:11,938 --> 00:00:14,229 ♪ In a glance, school becomes His favorite pastime ♪ 9 00:00:14,312 --> 00:00:16,604 ♪ I have buried a bone For the last time ♪ 10 00:00:16,688 --> 00:00:18,312 -♪ He says ♪ -♪ I want to be a boy ♪ 11 00:00:18,396 --> 00:00:19,646 ♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪ 12 00:00:19,730 --> 00:00:21,146 ♪ He's so over just being rover ♪ 13 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,604 ♪ I gotta be a boy ♪ 14 00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:25,062 ♪ It's so weird ♪ ♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪ 15 00:00:25,146 --> 00:00:26,688 ♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪ 16 00:00:26,771 --> 00:00:28,438 ♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪ 17 00:00:28,521 --> 00:00:30,980 Why can't I be a normal kid like any other? 18 00:00:31,062 --> 00:00:33,146 Now, doodle bug, listen to mother. 19 00:00:33,229 --> 00:00:34,938 ♪ I want to be a boy ♪ 20 00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:36,938 I hate dogs. 21 00:00:37,021 --> 00:00:39,479 ♪ I gotta be a boy ♪ 22 00:00:39,563 --> 00:00:41,479 ♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪ 23 00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,521 I do not wish to be a dog. 24 00:00:43,604 --> 00:00:46,104 ♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪ 25 00:00:46,187 --> 00:00:47,521 ♪ I got to be a boy ♪ 26 00:00:47,604 --> 00:00:49,104 ♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪ 27 00:00:49,187 --> 00:00:52,229 ♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪ 28 00:00:52,312 --> 00:00:54,146 Yes! 29 00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:28,479 I bet you're wondering 30 00:01:28,563 --> 00:01:31,021 why I'm sporting this mysterious, enigmatic smile 31 00:01:31,104 --> 00:01:33,104 not unlike the one worn by "Mona Lisa," 32 00:01:33,187 --> 00:01:35,646 Leonardo da Vinci's haunting Italian masterpiece. 33 00:01:35,730 --> 00:01:38,062 Yeah, that's exactly what I was wondering. 34 00:01:38,146 --> 00:01:39,187 Here's a hint. 35 00:01:39,271 --> 00:01:42,062 Tomorrow a certain someone I know and love, 36 00:01:42,146 --> 00:01:44,646 and I'm not gonna mention any names, 37 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:45,938 Leonard... 38 00:01:46,021 --> 00:01:47,730 But that someone, Leonard, 39 00:01:47,813 --> 00:01:50,646 is celebrating a special day, Leonard, 40 00:01:50,730 --> 00:01:52,563 that only happens once a year, 41 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:54,521 and no, it's not Cinco de Mayo. 42 00:01:54,604 --> 00:01:56,646 Oh, yeah, my birthday. 43 00:01:56,730 --> 00:01:58,646 [mockingly] "Oh, yeah, my birthday." 44 00:01:58,730 --> 00:02:01,021 Did I just step through a portal into an alternate universe 45 00:02:01,104 --> 00:02:03,021 where they don't consider a birthday 46 00:02:03,104 --> 00:02:05,229 the greatest, most super-unbelievably special day 47 00:02:05,312 --> 00:02:08,271 of all super days worthy of a huge party? 48 00:02:08,354 --> 00:02:10,563 Actually, I get sort of nervous around parties. 49 00:02:10,646 --> 00:02:12,646 I'm just gonna do what I always do-- 50 00:02:12,730 --> 00:02:14,062 stay home. 51 00:02:14,146 --> 00:02:16,646 Ha ha ho! 52 00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:18,146 You got me! 53 00:02:18,146 --> 00:02:19,980 Oh-ho, boy! That was a good one! 54 00:02:20,062 --> 00:02:21,855 "No party," he says. 55 00:02:21,938 --> 00:02:23,021 Ha ha ha ha ha! 56 00:02:23,104 --> 00:02:24,479 I'm serious. 57 00:02:24,563 --> 00:02:26,521 Ha ha-- 58 00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:28,813 Leonard, listen to me. 59 00:02:28,896 --> 00:02:30,771 You're turning 10. 60 00:02:30,855 --> 00:02:33,229 10! The big 1-0! Mr. Decade. 61 00:02:33,312 --> 00:02:35,521 You've won the first battle. 62 00:02:35,604 --> 00:02:39,146 Leonard Helperman, victor over all single numbers-- 63 00:02:39,229 --> 00:02:42,563 okay, not a great appellation, but it's something. 64 00:02:42,646 --> 00:02:44,021 You got to have a party! 65 00:02:44,104 --> 00:02:45,563 No, I already decided. 66 00:02:45,646 --> 00:02:47,563 I just want a quiet day at home. 67 00:02:47,646 --> 00:02:49,271 Hmm. I understand. 68 00:02:49,354 --> 00:02:51,688 A quiet day-- stay home-- 69 00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:54,980 actually, it's a good plan... If you're 80! 70 00:02:55,062 --> 00:02:56,271 You're a kid! 71 00:02:56,354 --> 00:02:58,521 Kids celebrate birthdays! 72 00:02:58,604 --> 00:03:02,980 Hats, cake, sad ponies led around by shellshocked clowns. 73 00:03:03,062 --> 00:03:04,604 But I don't want one. 74 00:03:04,688 --> 00:03:06,604 How can you possibly know what you want, Leonard? 75 00:03:06,688 --> 00:03:07,938 You're only 9! 76 00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:09,938 Call it tough love, my biped friend, 77 00:03:10,021 --> 00:03:12,938 but there's no way I'm letting you turn 10 without a party. 78 00:03:13,021 --> 00:03:16,312 Leonard's birthday in space! 79 00:03:19,229 --> 00:03:20,646 [bell rings] 80 00:03:20,730 --> 00:03:22,104 Class dismissed. 81 00:03:22,187 --> 00:03:23,187 [yawns] 82 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:26,730 Rumor around campus is tomorrow is Leonard's tenth. 83 00:03:26,813 --> 00:03:28,062 Oh, yes. 84 00:03:28,146 --> 00:03:30,104 We're gonna have a very nice day. 85 00:03:30,187 --> 00:03:32,730 A rented video and his favorite meal, 86 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,730 fried baloney and rice. 87 00:03:34,813 --> 00:03:37,896 Actually, I was thinking a party, huh? 88 00:03:37,980 --> 00:03:40,771 I know he secretly wants one. 89 00:03:40,855 --> 00:03:42,229 You being his best friend, 90 00:03:42,312 --> 00:03:45,062 you might know better what he secretly wants. 91 00:03:45,146 --> 00:03:46,396 You have my permission 92 00:03:46,479 --> 00:03:48,855 to put together a big special surprise party 93 00:03:48,938 --> 00:03:50,855 at our house tomorrow afternoon. 94 00:03:50,938 --> 00:03:52,438 Great! 95 00:03:55,229 --> 00:03:57,354 Yeah, I'm still here. 96 00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,187 The best you can do, huh? 97 00:03:59,271 --> 00:04:01,271 Mr. Moonbounce and Rocket Jumpers 98 00:04:01,354 --> 00:04:03,062 both quoted me a lower price. 99 00:04:03,146 --> 00:04:05,938 Plus, they're throwing in a balloon arch in three colors. 100 00:04:06,021 --> 00:04:08,730 What's that? Four colors you say? 101 00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:11,813 Ooh, that's a lot of balloons. I'll get back to you. 102 00:04:11,896 --> 00:04:13,396 Now, let's look up Mr. Moonbounce 103 00:04:13,479 --> 00:04:15,229 and Rocket Jumpers and give them a call. 104 00:04:15,312 --> 00:04:16,813 Oh, spot, you're so crafty! 105 00:04:16,896 --> 00:04:19,730 I wouldn't want to sit across the bargaining table from you. 106 00:04:19,813 --> 00:04:22,021 Who do you think taught him to work the system? 107 00:04:22,104 --> 00:04:24,938 Speaking of which, you blew that last call, mutt boy. 108 00:04:25,021 --> 00:04:27,563 You could have got him to throw in a slippy-slide. 109 00:04:27,646 --> 00:04:28,896 [door opens, closes] 110 00:04:28,980 --> 00:04:32,146 Oh, hey, guys. You seen my football? 111 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,146 Here's the football 112 00:04:34,229 --> 00:04:36,646 and your helmet, pads, Jersey, cleats, mouthpiece, chin strap. 113 00:04:36,730 --> 00:04:38,938 Take the basketball, too, in case you get sick of football. 114 00:04:39,021 --> 00:04:41,146 It happened to Europe. Now go! 115 00:04:41,229 --> 00:04:43,730 Play till bedtime. Ha ha ha ha! You need your exercise. 116 00:04:47,604 --> 00:04:49,646 Oh, dear. I hope Leonard didn't get suspicious. 117 00:04:49,730 --> 00:04:51,896 I don't know if I can keep a secret from him. 118 00:04:51,980 --> 00:04:53,062 I get so nervous. 119 00:04:53,146 --> 00:04:54,271 I'll teach you a trick. 120 00:04:54,354 --> 00:04:58,354 Whenever you start to get nervous over compensate by forcing yourself to act cool 121 00:04:58,563 --> 00:05:00,146 Act cool? I can do that. 122 00:05:00,229 --> 00:05:02,521 How are you doin', baby? What's the haps? 123 00:05:02,604 --> 00:05:03,604 Slap me some feather. 124 00:05:05,354 --> 00:05:06,813 Forget I said anything. 125 00:05:10,021 --> 00:05:11,104 He's coming over! 126 00:05:11,187 --> 00:05:12,604 Okay, showtime! 127 00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:15,396 Remember, if you get nervous, act cool-- except you. 128 00:05:15,479 --> 00:05:16,438 Aah! 129 00:05:16,521 --> 00:05:18,021 Hey, Leonard... 130 00:05:18,104 --> 00:05:20,479 Looks like your hoops practice is paying off. 131 00:05:20,563 --> 00:05:22,104 Don't you think, pretty boy? 132 00:05:23,771 --> 00:05:24,980 What's wrong with him? 133 00:05:25,062 --> 00:05:27,271 Uh, he's taking a nap with his eyes open 134 00:05:27,354 --> 00:05:28,813 like in the marines. 135 00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,896 I'm sure happy I'm not having a party. 136 00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:33,271 Now I can go to the park tomorrow and practice even more. 137 00:05:33,354 --> 00:05:35,896 As long as we're talking about birthdays, 138 00:05:35,980 --> 00:05:37,938 you know, in the abstract, 139 00:05:38,021 --> 00:05:39,896 I still think you should have had one. 140 00:05:39,980 --> 00:05:42,062 They're such an all-American tradition, 141 00:05:42,146 --> 00:05:44,855 the celebration of the fact you came into the world. 142 00:05:44,938 --> 00:05:46,104 Do you not agree? 143 00:05:46,229 --> 00:05:48,354 I guess it would be nice to be celebrated, 144 00:05:48,438 --> 00:05:50,896 but think of all the things that could go wrong. 145 00:05:50,980 --> 00:05:54,021 Suppose no one shows up. 146 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,396 Or suppose you invite only the cool people 147 00:05:56,479 --> 00:05:58,938 and one of the invitations gets lost in the mail. 148 00:05:59,021 --> 00:06:01,813 And now that person thinks you don't think they're cool. 149 00:06:01,896 --> 00:06:03,938 So they take you off their list of cool people. 150 00:06:04,021 --> 00:06:06,021 And what if you're playing pin the tail on the donkey 151 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,646 and stick someone with the pin? 152 00:06:07,730 --> 00:06:10,146 What if you slobber when you blow out the candles 153 00:06:10,229 --> 00:06:12,229 and then no one wants to eat the cake except Ian? 154 00:06:12,312 --> 00:06:14,229 Or if you have to break the piñata, 155 00:06:14,312 --> 00:06:16,187 but it's really, really hard to break. 156 00:06:16,271 --> 00:06:18,479 And everybody gets annoyed 'cause they want candy, 157 00:06:18,563 --> 00:06:20,521 but there is none because I stink at baseball? 158 00:06:20,604 --> 00:06:22,062 The kid's got a point. 159 00:06:22,146 --> 00:06:24,104 That's why I'm happy I'm not having one. 160 00:06:24,187 --> 00:06:26,730 A party would be the worst thing in the whole wide world. 161 00:06:29,604 --> 00:06:32,021 Yeah, well, sure. 162 00:06:32,104 --> 00:06:34,187 All that stuff could happen. 163 00:06:34,271 --> 00:06:36,980 Of course, what if all those things weren't your fault? 164 00:06:37,104 --> 00:06:40,521 I mean, to cite a totally hypothetical situation, 165 00:06:40,604 --> 00:06:44,104 suppose somebody else sent out the invitations. 166 00:06:44,187 --> 00:06:47,688 Nobody could blame you for not thinking they're a cool person. 167 00:06:47,771 --> 00:06:48,813 Right? 168 00:06:48,896 --> 00:06:51,021 No! No! 169 00:06:51,104 --> 00:06:52,438 No, no! 170 00:06:52,521 --> 00:06:54,980 You are throwing me a surprise party, aren't you? 171 00:06:55,062 --> 00:06:57,146 No, no, no, no, no. 172 00:06:57,229 --> 00:06:59,062 Yes! 173 00:06:59,146 --> 00:07:01,146 I'm a canary. What can I say? 174 00:07:01,229 --> 00:07:03,646 How can you throw me a surprise party? 175 00:07:03,730 --> 00:07:05,146 Who told you I wanted one? 176 00:07:05,229 --> 00:07:07,563 Look, Leonard, it's not gonna be so bad. 177 00:07:07,646 --> 00:07:08,980 It's gonna be worse. 178 00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:11,021 It's bad enough I have to have a party, 179 00:07:11,104 --> 00:07:13,771 but now I know about it, and I still have to act surprised. 180 00:07:13,855 --> 00:07:15,771 I'm the stinkiest actor in the world! 181 00:07:15,855 --> 00:07:19,354 This is gonna be the worst birthday ever. 182 00:07:19,438 --> 00:07:22,604 All Leonard needs is a good acting coach. 183 00:07:22,688 --> 00:07:24,938 [clears throat] I volunteer. 184 00:07:25,021 --> 00:07:26,521 Puh-lease! 185 00:07:26,604 --> 00:07:28,938 What's a hairball machine like you know about acting? 186 00:07:29,021 --> 00:07:30,396 Excuse me. 187 00:07:30,479 --> 00:07:34,896 I happen to have been in a few productions in my youth. 188 00:07:34,980 --> 00:07:38,104 [snoring] 189 00:07:42,104 --> 00:07:44,563 [indistinct conversation] 190 00:07:44,646 --> 00:07:47,938 [piano plays] 191 00:07:48,021 --> 00:07:49,271 Excellent party. 192 00:07:49,354 --> 00:07:51,021 You must come to New Delhi next week 193 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,938 to handle the arrangements for young Raja's tenth birthday. 194 00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:56,146 [laughing] Oh, thank you, but I can't. 195 00:07:56,229 --> 00:07:58,479 I only did this for my friend Leonard. 196 00:08:00,604 --> 00:08:01,521 Oh! 197 00:08:01,604 --> 00:08:02,521 Ugh! 198 00:08:02,604 --> 00:08:03,855 Ah, here he comes now. 199 00:08:03,938 --> 00:08:05,813 [all] Surprise! 200 00:08:10,021 --> 00:08:11,104 [all gasp] 201 00:08:11,187 --> 00:08:12,980 [all] Birthday faker! 202 00:08:13,062 --> 00:08:15,604 Faker! Birthday faker! 203 00:08:15,688 --> 00:08:17,479 Wait! Don't go! 204 00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:18,896 We're having cake! 205 00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:20,104 No, thanks. 206 00:08:20,187 --> 00:08:22,187 The boy would probably spit on it. 207 00:08:26,771 --> 00:08:28,062 Aah! 208 00:08:28,146 --> 00:08:30,146 Oh, I can't do that to my friend. 209 00:08:32,062 --> 00:08:34,938 The party's off! We got to call everyone and cancel! 210 00:08:35,021 --> 00:08:37,021 Where's the list of phone numbers? 211 00:08:37,104 --> 00:08:38,021 Oops. 212 00:08:38,104 --> 00:08:40,271 Here's a four. 213 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,855 Okay, let me set the scene. 214 00:08:43,938 --> 00:08:45,646 It's noon. It's hot. 215 00:08:45,730 --> 00:08:49,146 You feel a bead of salty perspiration run down your face. 216 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,438 The pungent smell of freshly cut grass 217 00:08:51,521 --> 00:08:53,688 is mixed with night-blooming Jasmine. 218 00:08:53,771 --> 00:08:56,730 You reach the door. The handle is cold. It's hard. 219 00:08:56,813 --> 00:08:58,146 What lies beyond? 220 00:08:58,229 --> 00:08:59,896 You slowly open the door. 221 00:08:59,980 --> 00:09:01,187 Surprise! 222 00:09:02,354 --> 00:09:04,855 No, that was anguish. 223 00:09:04,938 --> 00:09:07,688 I want surprise. Do it again. 224 00:09:09,521 --> 00:09:11,312 That was fear. Again. 225 00:09:11,396 --> 00:09:14,104 Contempt-- again. 226 00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:15,563 No, again. 227 00:09:15,646 --> 00:09:17,229 No, again. 228 00:09:17,312 --> 00:09:18,354 Worse. 229 00:09:18,438 --> 00:09:19,771 It's no use. 230 00:09:19,855 --> 00:09:21,980 I'm a failure as a director. 231 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,646 I can do it. Just give me one more chance. 232 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:28,104 You reach the door. The handle is cold, hard. 233 00:09:28,187 --> 00:09:31,229 What lies beyond? 234 00:09:31,312 --> 00:09:34,021 You slowly open the door. 235 00:09:34,104 --> 00:09:35,229 Surprise! 236 00:09:37,146 --> 00:09:39,354 That was it! Again! 237 00:09:41,187 --> 00:09:42,938 By jove! I think he's got it. 238 00:09:44,938 --> 00:09:47,938 This is gonna be the greatest birthday ever! 239 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,312 You guys, he can do it! 240 00:09:50,396 --> 00:09:52,813 Leonard can fake surprise! Show 'em! 241 00:09:54,146 --> 00:09:56,021 Mmm. That's great, Leonard. 242 00:09:56,104 --> 00:09:58,938 Maybe you can use it on your 11th birthday. 243 00:09:59,021 --> 00:10:00,146 What about my 10th? 244 00:10:00,229 --> 00:10:01,396 What about today? 245 00:10:01,479 --> 00:10:03,730 Sorry, bunky, you seemed so nervous. 246 00:10:03,813 --> 00:10:06,271 So I figured the best present I could give you 247 00:10:06,354 --> 00:10:07,855 would be to cancel it. 248 00:10:07,938 --> 00:10:10,646 Oh, I guess that makes sense. 249 00:10:10,730 --> 00:10:12,021 It is what you wanted. 250 00:10:12,104 --> 00:10:14,855 It was hard to get in touch with everybody so last minute, 251 00:10:14,938 --> 00:10:17,104 but Pretty Boy and I found their phone numbers. 252 00:10:17,187 --> 00:10:19,855 We're gonna have fun though, right? 253 00:10:19,938 --> 00:10:23,563 Oh-ho! A nice day with videos, some fried luncheon meat. 254 00:10:23,646 --> 00:10:25,646 Mmm, boy! Come on! 255 00:10:25,730 --> 00:10:28,104 I've got the VCR ready to go! 256 00:10:28,187 --> 00:10:30,896 Happy birthday to me. 257 00:10:32,146 --> 00:10:33,563 [all] Surprise! 258 00:10:35,187 --> 00:10:38,354 [all] He didn't know. That was real. 259 00:10:38,354 --> 00:10:40,146 I thought you said-- 260 00:10:40,229 --> 00:10:42,730 I wanted it to be a real surprise. 261 00:10:42,813 --> 00:10:44,813 A slippy-slidey! 262 00:10:44,896 --> 00:10:47,229 There must be six different color balloons there. 263 00:10:47,312 --> 00:10:49,187 You're very close. 264 00:10:53,229 --> 00:10:54,771 [all cheer] 265 00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:01,021 [all cheer] 266 00:11:02,855 --> 00:11:06,229 Aha ha! Time to blow out the candles. 267 00:11:25,062 --> 00:11:27,646 [laughter] 268 00:12:04,646 --> 00:12:10,104 ♪ The sun shines bright In the old Kentucky home ♪ 269 00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:12,104 ♪ 'Tis summer ♪ 270 00:12:12,187 --> 00:12:16,187 ♪ The people are gay all day ♪ 271 00:12:16,271 --> 00:12:21,187 ♪ The corn top's ripe and the Meadow's in bloom... ♪ 272 00:12:21,271 --> 00:12:22,980 Ooh, got my tail in it. 273 00:12:23,062 --> 00:12:25,396 That's good. [yawns] 274 00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:28,813 [snoring] 275 00:12:28,896 --> 00:12:31,229 ♪ Sing all the day ♪♪ 276 00:12:31,312 --> 00:12:34,021 ♪ Ten tablespoons unsalted butter ♪ 277 00:12:34,104 --> 00:12:37,021 ♪ Quarter-cup of sugar And a teaspoon of salt ♪ 278 00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:40,104 ♪ Lightly knead Until well-blended ♪ 279 00:12:40,187 --> 00:12:42,271 ♪ If it goes too dry To hold together ♪ 280 00:12:42,354 --> 00:12:44,062 ♪ Sprinkle on a few drops of water ♪ 281 00:12:44,146 --> 00:12:45,980 ♪ Adding just enough To bond the morsels ♪ 282 00:12:46,062 --> 00:12:48,229 ♪ While being careful Not to overmoisten ♪ 283 00:12:48,312 --> 00:12:49,896 ♪ Oh... ♪ 284 00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:52,688 ♪ Mama's little Leonard loves Shortenin' shortenin' ♪ 285 00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:55,062 Mom, do you have to sing the whole recipe 286 00:12:55,146 --> 00:12:56,688 every time you make cookies? 287 00:12:56,771 --> 00:12:59,021 Oh, was I singing? [laughs] 288 00:12:59,104 --> 00:13:03,354 Well, I guess I'm just in a hip-hop-happy Saturday moo-- 289 00:13:03,438 --> 00:13:04,563 what the-- 290 00:13:04,646 --> 00:13:05,771 how the-- 291 00:13:05,855 --> 00:13:07,271 who the-- 292 00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:09,521 well, then where in the-- 293 00:13:09,604 --> 00:13:11,646 Eek! A mouse! 294 00:13:11,730 --> 00:13:15,021 Gee, I thought they only said that in cartoons. 295 00:13:15,104 --> 00:13:18,021 You'd be surprised how many cartoons are based on real life. 296 00:13:18,104 --> 00:13:20,354 Could you two dial it down a titch? 297 00:13:20,438 --> 00:13:22,521 Some of us need our beauty rest. 298 00:13:25,229 --> 00:13:27,354 [snores] 299 00:13:27,438 --> 00:13:30,938 Pawnbrokers, pedicurists, personal chefs-- 300 00:13:31,021 --> 00:13:34,104 ah-- pest control-- "Bye-Bye-Mouse-Begone." 301 00:13:34,187 --> 00:13:35,563 Hmm. 302 00:13:35,646 --> 00:13:38,980 "Insta-quick immediate same-day rapid service in a flash." 303 00:13:39,062 --> 00:13:41,062 Oh, great. I'm on hold. 304 00:13:41,146 --> 00:13:43,813 Mom, what do you need to call them for? 305 00:13:43,896 --> 00:13:46,146 Mr. Jolly can catch the mouse. 306 00:13:46,229 --> 00:13:47,896 Our Mr. Jolly? 307 00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:49,146 [laughs] 308 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,855 Leonard, honey, your dog will be quoting Shakespeare 309 00:13:51,938 --> 00:13:53,980 before that cat ever catches a mouse. 310 00:13:54,062 --> 00:13:56,229 "Ah, what fools these mortals be." 311 00:13:56,312 --> 00:13:59,521 He can so catch a mouse. That's what cats do. 312 00:13:59,604 --> 00:14:02,646 Aw, Lenny, Mr. Jolly's not a real cat. 313 00:14:02,730 --> 00:14:06,646 He's just an ooshy, squishy, lovety old blob of fur. 314 00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:07,855 [laughs] 315 00:14:07,938 --> 00:14:09,229 Yes, I'll continue to hold. 316 00:14:09,312 --> 00:14:12,062 My wait time is approximately five minutes. 317 00:14:12,146 --> 00:14:14,062 I bet you this batch of cookies 318 00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:17,146 that Mr. Jolly can catch that mouse before you get off hold. 319 00:14:17,229 --> 00:14:19,730 Well, all righty. 320 00:14:19,813 --> 00:14:23,646 Mr. Jolly's got exactly five minutes to catch that mouse. 321 00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:26,563 You might want to wake him up and let him know. 322 00:14:26,646 --> 00:14:29,146 [snoring] 323 00:14:29,229 --> 00:14:31,980 Hmm! 324 00:14:32,062 --> 00:14:33,396 R-r-eow! 325 00:14:37,896 --> 00:14:39,813 Mmm. 326 00:14:39,896 --> 00:14:40,980 R-Reow! 327 00:14:41,062 --> 00:14:43,938 [Leonard] Jolly, wake up! 328 00:14:44,021 --> 00:14:46,062 Is the house on fire?! 329 00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:49,187 Save my baby pictures! Everything else can be replaced! 330 00:14:49,271 --> 00:14:51,021 There's a mouse in the house! 331 00:14:51,104 --> 00:14:52,021 Eek! Mouse?! 332 00:14:52,104 --> 00:14:54,021 He watches cartoons all the time. 333 00:14:54,104 --> 00:14:55,438 Don't just stand there! 334 00:14:55,521 --> 00:14:58,354 Call those guys in the white jumpsuits that take it away! 335 00:14:58,438 --> 00:15:00,855 This is your job. You're the cat. 336 00:15:00,938 --> 00:15:03,938 Leonard, where have you been? I'm not a real cat. 337 00:15:04,021 --> 00:15:07,438 I'm just an ooshy, squishy, lovety old blob of fur. 338 00:15:07,521 --> 00:15:09,021 Well, that's what my mom said. 339 00:15:09,104 --> 00:15:10,980 I know. That's where I got it. 340 00:15:11,062 --> 00:15:13,521 You don't think I really talk that way? Gracious. 341 00:15:13,604 --> 00:15:16,104 But I bet her a whole batch of cookies 342 00:15:16,187 --> 00:15:17,688 that you are a real cat, 343 00:15:17,771 --> 00:15:21,062 and now you've got exactly 4 1/2 minutes to prove it. 344 00:15:21,146 --> 00:15:22,896 Cookies, you say? 345 00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:26,229 Why, I'd better get going right away. 346 00:15:26,312 --> 00:15:27,938 [panting] Got to catch a mouse. 347 00:15:28,021 --> 00:15:29,980 Got to catch a mouse. Got to catch a mouse. 348 00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:31,438 [all chanting] Go, Jolly. Go, Jolly. Go, Jolly. 349 00:15:31,521 --> 00:15:32,980 Go, Jolly. Go, Jolly. Go, Jolly. 350 00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:34,312 Go, Jolly. Go, Jolly. Go, Jolly. 351 00:15:34,396 --> 00:15:36,146 [gasping] 352 00:15:36,229 --> 00:15:39,730 I haven't the faintest idea what I'm doing. 353 00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:41,146 Don't sweat it. 354 00:15:41,229 --> 00:15:43,855 You still got 3 minutes and 59 seconds left to find out. 355 00:15:43,938 --> 00:15:47,312 58... 57... 56... 55-- 356 00:15:47,396 --> 00:15:50,062 Stop it! Stop it! You're driving me crazy! 357 00:15:50,146 --> 00:15:53,312 Is this as much fun for everyone else as it is for me? 358 00:15:53,396 --> 00:15:54,938 You can do this, Jolly. 359 00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:57,855 You just got to get in touch with your cat instincts 360 00:15:57,938 --> 00:15:59,021 and follow 'em. 361 00:15:59,104 --> 00:16:01,980 All right, all right, Mr. Bossy. 362 00:16:06,021 --> 00:16:09,271 I smell something. 363 00:16:11,146 --> 00:16:13,062 [sniffs] I'm on the trail. 364 00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:16,062 Watch out! Get out of my way! 365 00:16:16,146 --> 00:16:17,980 [growls] 366 00:16:18,062 --> 00:16:20,312 [hisses, sniffs] 367 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,813 You smell the mouse? 368 00:16:21,896 --> 00:16:22,980 [sniffs] 369 00:16:23,062 --> 00:16:25,021 No, I smell the cookies. 370 00:16:25,104 --> 00:16:28,396 Mmm... Mama Helperman one fine cook. 371 00:16:28,479 --> 00:16:31,146 [squeaking] 372 00:16:32,021 --> 00:16:33,896 There she goes! 373 00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:38,229 Who you stalking, huh, Mr. Pussycat? 374 00:16:38,312 --> 00:16:39,855 You think you can catch 375 00:16:39,938 --> 00:16:41,980 Margarita Sylvita Lupita Evita Ratocita? 376 00:16:42,062 --> 00:16:44,980 Ha! I laugh in your fat, furry face 377 00:16:45,062 --> 00:16:47,521 and swish my tail twice in the region. 378 00:16:49,521 --> 00:16:52,229 Ooh, El gato peligroso! 379 00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,896 I am so scared! 380 00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:57,730 I'll show you, missy. 381 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:03,896 Boo-ya-a-a-a! 382 00:17:07,104 --> 00:17:08,813 Did I get her? 383 00:17:08,896 --> 00:17:12,271 No, but you did manage to blow another minute and five seconds. 384 00:17:12,354 --> 00:17:13,604 Curses. 385 00:17:13,688 --> 00:17:16,354 Where could that rascally she-rodent have gone? 386 00:17:20,229 --> 00:17:22,730 And no joke-- you're so slow. 387 00:17:22,813 --> 00:17:25,438 What do you know? Me gotta go! 388 00:17:25,521 --> 00:17:27,855 [groans] 389 00:17:27,938 --> 00:17:30,521 Oh, come on. Who would have thought of looking there? 390 00:17:30,604 --> 00:17:32,521 Pbht! 391 00:17:32,604 --> 00:17:36,396 All right, lady. Now it's personal. 392 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,771 Hasta la vista, baby! 393 00:17:51,062 --> 00:17:52,938 Fine. That's it. Game over. 394 00:17:53,021 --> 00:17:54,855 I'll never fit in there. 395 00:17:54,938 --> 00:17:56,771 No! You can do it, Jolly! 396 00:17:56,855 --> 00:17:58,354 Use your vibrissa! 397 00:17:58,438 --> 00:18:00,688 I most certainly will not. 398 00:18:00,771 --> 00:18:03,062 There are children present. 399 00:18:03,146 --> 00:18:05,938 Vibrissa are your whiskers. 400 00:18:06,730 --> 00:18:07,980 You know, cats' whiskers always grow 401 00:18:08,062 --> 00:18:09,980 to the exact width of their bodies, 402 00:18:10,062 --> 00:18:12,646 thereby providing them with an early warning system 403 00:18:12,730 --> 00:18:15,980 so they never go into any spaces in which they might get stuck. 404 00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:17,479 How fascinating! 405 00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:20,479 How come our ears have those little notches at the bottom? 406 00:18:20,563 --> 00:18:24,146 Tick, tick, tick, tick. You got a minute and change left. 407 00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:27,187 I'm going in. 408 00:18:28,438 --> 00:18:31,688 Whiskers, don't fail me now. 409 00:18:35,646 --> 00:18:37,354 I'm in! I see her! 410 00:18:39,771 --> 00:18:41,688 I could just about get her! 411 00:18:43,771 --> 00:18:48,646 [Samba music plays] 412 00:18:48,730 --> 00:18:50,187 [Mr. Jolly grunts] 413 00:18:50,271 --> 00:18:51,604 I missed her! 414 00:18:51,688 --> 00:18:53,396 She's sambaing away. 415 00:18:53,479 --> 00:18:57,271 [music continues] 416 00:19:01,312 --> 00:19:04,271 Okay, I think we may have to call in 417 00:19:04,354 --> 00:19:06,271 the emergency rescue team. 418 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:08,062 It's okay. We got you covered, pal. 419 00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:09,479 [spits] 420 00:19:09,563 --> 00:19:11,104 On "three." 421 00:19:11,187 --> 00:19:15,229 One... two... 422 00:19:20,396 --> 00:19:23,104 Well, the good news is, in less than a minute, 423 00:19:23,187 --> 00:19:24,938 this humiliation will all be over. 424 00:19:25,021 --> 00:19:27,938 At least the chasing-the-mouse part will be over. 425 00:19:28,021 --> 00:19:30,813 The part where I never let you live it down will go on and on 426 00:19:30,896 --> 00:19:33,146 for as long as it cracks me up. 427 00:19:33,229 --> 00:19:35,646 I will not be the butt of your jokes! 428 00:19:35,730 --> 00:19:37,938 I will not be made a fool of by a mouse! 429 00:19:38,021 --> 00:19:41,187 I am cat, hear me roar! 430 00:19:41,271 --> 00:19:44,730 R-r-r-r-r-eow! 431 00:19:45,813 --> 00:19:48,855 [motor roaring] 432 00:19:52,187 --> 00:19:53,604 [glass breaking] 433 00:20:03,146 --> 00:20:05,938 [bell dings] 434 00:20:07,688 --> 00:20:09,479 And that's the ballgame, folks. 435 00:20:09,563 --> 00:20:11,855 Oh...[sobs] 436 00:20:11,938 --> 00:20:13,730 Are you okay, Mr. Jolly? 437 00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,730 I've failed you, Leonard. 438 00:20:15,813 --> 00:20:19,771 I wanted to be a cat for you, kid, but, oh, look at me. 439 00:20:19,855 --> 00:20:20,938 [sighs] 440 00:20:21,021 --> 00:20:23,813 I couldn't even catch a mouse. 441 00:20:23,896 --> 00:20:26,730 I'm no good to nobody for nothin'! 442 00:20:26,813 --> 00:20:28,896 [all] Aw! 443 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,938 Pobrecito fur blob. 444 00:20:33,021 --> 00:20:36,730 [sniffles] 445 00:20:42,271 --> 00:20:44,354 What do you want? 446 00:20:44,438 --> 00:20:45,563 Jeez. 447 00:20:45,646 --> 00:20:48,354 You're the most pathetic kitty I ever met. 448 00:20:50,438 --> 00:20:53,312 Don't hurt me! They made me do it! 449 00:20:53,396 --> 00:20:55,980 Aw, just shut up and open your mouth! 450 00:20:56,062 --> 00:20:59,146 Actually, that would be technically imposs-- 451 00:21:01,312 --> 00:21:02,646 there. 452 00:21:02,730 --> 00:21:05,021 Oh! 453 00:21:05,104 --> 00:21:08,855 Well, Leonard, hmm, five minutes is up. 454 00:21:08,938 --> 00:21:10,021 I'm finally off hold, 455 00:21:10,104 --> 00:21:13,229 and the Bye-Bye-Mouse-Begone people are all set to-- 456 00:21:13,312 --> 00:21:14,855 [fanfare plays] 457 00:21:15,187 --> 00:21:18,229 Mr. Jolly! Look at you! 458 00:21:18,312 --> 00:21:19,855 [laughs] 459 00:21:19,938 --> 00:21:23,813 Oh, I'm afraid we won't be needing your services after all. 460 00:21:23,896 --> 00:21:26,021 We have a cat! [laughs] 461 00:21:26,104 --> 00:21:28,021 -Yay! All right! -Go, Mr. Jolly! 462 00:21:28,104 --> 00:21:30,396 And now I'm gonna make my mouser 463 00:21:30,479 --> 00:21:33,438 a nice, big bowl of salmon-and-liver treats. 464 00:21:35,855 --> 00:21:38,730 [crickets chirping] 465 00:21:41,813 --> 00:21:43,896 Mm-mmm! 466 00:21:43,980 --> 00:21:45,688 Mr. Jolly, I've been thinking. 467 00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:48,104 It was wrong of me to try and make you be 468 00:21:48,187 --> 00:21:50,104 what I thought a cat ought to be 469 00:21:50,187 --> 00:21:51,938 instead of what you really are. 470 00:21:52,021 --> 00:21:53,521 I'm sorry. 471 00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:54,938 You know, I'm not. 472 00:21:55,021 --> 00:21:57,271 Sometimes it takes the humiliation 473 00:21:57,354 --> 00:22:00,646 and utter degradation of trying to be what you aren't 474 00:22:00,730 --> 00:22:03,312 in order to appreciate what you really are. 475 00:22:03,396 --> 00:22:05,855 I may be an old fur blob, Leonard, 476 00:22:05,938 --> 00:22:08,813 but, by golly, I'm a fantastic old fur blob, 477 00:22:08,896 --> 00:22:10,730 don't you think? 478 00:22:10,813 --> 00:22:14,146 It's your world, baby. I'm just living in it.