1 00:00:00,354 --> 00:00:01,479 ♪ Born on the wrong end Of the leash ♪ 2 00:00:01,563 --> 00:00:04,104 -♪ He was a dreamer ♪ -♪ And a little schemer ♪ 3 00:00:04,187 --> 00:00:05,813 ♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪ 4 00:00:05,896 --> 00:00:07,438 ♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪ 5 00:00:07,521 --> 00:00:08,354 ♪ He'd start to drool ♪ 6 00:00:08,438 --> 00:00:10,146 -♪ One day he says ♪ -♪ I'll take a chance ♪ 7 00:00:10,229 --> 00:00:11,855 ♪ Trades his leash For a pair of pants ♪ 8 00:00:11,938 --> 00:00:14,229 ♪ In a glance, school becomes His favorite pastime ♪ 9 00:00:14,312 --> 00:00:16,604 ♪ I have buried a bone For the last time ♪ 10 00:00:16,688 --> 00:00:18,312 -♪ He says ♪ -♪ I want to be a boy ♪ 11 00:00:18,396 --> 00:00:19,646 ♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪ 12 00:00:19,730 --> 00:00:21,146 ♪ He's so over just being rover ♪ 13 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,604 ♪ I gotta be a boy ♪ 14 00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:25,062 ♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪ 15 00:00:25,146 --> 00:00:26,688 ♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪ 16 00:00:26,771 --> 00:00:28,438 ♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪ 17 00:00:28,521 --> 00:00:30,980 Why can't I be a normal kid like any other? 18 00:00:31,062 --> 00:00:33,146 Now, doodle bug, listen to mother. 19 00:00:33,229 --> 00:00:34,938 ♪ I want to be a boy ♪ 20 00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:36,938 I hate dogs. 21 00:00:37,021 --> 00:00:39,479 ♪ I gotta be a boy ♪ 22 00:00:39,563 --> 00:00:41,479 ♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪ 23 00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,521 I do not wish to be a dog. 24 00:00:43,604 --> 00:00:46,104 ♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪ 25 00:00:46,187 --> 00:00:47,521 ♪ I got to be a boy ♪ 26 00:00:47,604 --> 00:00:49,104 ♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪ 27 00:00:49,187 --> 00:00:52,229 ♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪ 28 00:00:52,312 --> 00:00:54,146 Yes! 29 00:01:08,730 --> 00:01:12,312 [marching music plays] 30 00:01:12,396 --> 00:01:15,771 [man reads] 31 00:01:18,062 --> 00:01:20,938 Yes, sir, sure as the sap rises in the springtime, 32 00:01:21,021 --> 00:01:22,855 boys from all over gathered at 33 00:01:22,938 --> 00:01:26,229 the Junior Boy Ranger Jamboree of United Neighborhood Councils 34 00:01:26,312 --> 00:01:28,021 of rangers across the state. 35 00:01:28,104 --> 00:01:29,771 For two days of fun, friendship, 36 00:01:29,855 --> 00:01:31,688 and bitter head-to-head competition. 37 00:01:31,771 --> 00:01:35,438 And once again, the West East Westland Wolfpack 38 00:01:35,521 --> 00:01:37,980 took home the large trophy of importance. 39 00:01:38,062 --> 00:01:39,980 The wolfpack is always a sure-fire... 40 00:01:40,062 --> 00:01:42,062 Pain in my belly. 41 00:01:42,146 --> 00:01:44,604 Every year, those kids win the skills competition. 42 00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:48,271 Every year, they lead the parade at the closing ceremony. 43 00:01:48,354 --> 00:01:50,062 And every year, where are we? 44 00:01:50,146 --> 00:01:53,521 In the back, with the miserable, humiliated losers! 45 00:01:53,604 --> 00:01:56,146 Now, I understand we all had a lot of fun 46 00:01:56,229 --> 00:01:57,771 at the jamboree last year, 47 00:01:57,855 --> 00:02:00,896 but wouldn't it be fun to win the thing just once? 48 00:02:00,980 --> 00:02:02,396 [all] Yeah! 49 00:02:02,479 --> 00:02:06,354 Wouldn't it be fun to bring home the large trophy of importance? 50 00:02:06,438 --> 00:02:07,646 [all] Yeah! 51 00:02:07,730 --> 00:02:10,604 Wouldn't it be fun to crush those kids 52 00:02:10,688 --> 00:02:15,521 from West East Westland into little pieces of dirt and bone?! 53 00:02:15,604 --> 00:02:17,771 -Uh... Okay? -I don't know. 54 00:02:17,855 --> 00:02:21,646 Hey, uh, don't tell your folks I said that last part, okay? 55 00:02:21,730 --> 00:02:24,229 Sir, I think I speak for everyone when I say, 56 00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:25,813 we're with you all the way. 57 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,271 Um, e-except for the, uh... Well, you know. 58 00:02:28,354 --> 00:02:30,062 If those guys are a great team, 59 00:02:30,146 --> 00:02:33,730 then we'll just work hard until we're a greater team. 60 00:02:33,813 --> 00:02:36,521 Sir, Leonard is absolutely right. 61 00:02:36,604 --> 00:02:40,479 I swear to you now that ere the last lanyard is laced, 62 00:02:40,563 --> 00:02:42,229 we will be the champions 63 00:02:42,312 --> 00:02:45,396 of this year's Junior Boy Ranger Jamboree 64 00:02:45,479 --> 00:02:49,730 of United Neighborhood Councils of rangers across the state! 65 00:02:49,813 --> 00:02:51,730 The JBRJUNCRATS! 66 00:02:51,813 --> 00:02:53,312 Unfortunate acronym. 67 00:02:53,396 --> 00:02:56,187 But it doesn't make our task any less serious. 68 00:02:56,271 --> 00:02:58,688 Boys, we must work together as a team 69 00:02:58,771 --> 00:03:02,104 and perfect every skill in the Junior Boy Ranger manual. 70 00:03:02,187 --> 00:03:05,396 Teddy, work on your knot tying. 71 00:03:05,479 --> 00:03:07,688 Ian, master first aid. 72 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:12,062 Leonard, hone your skills with the semaphore flags. 73 00:03:12,146 --> 00:03:16,980 In short, friends, let's become a winning team! 74 00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:23,646 Or we could just let Scott win all the events. 75 00:03:23,730 --> 00:03:24,813 That works for me, too. 76 00:03:24,896 --> 00:03:25,730 [muffled cheering] 77 00:03:26,688 --> 00:03:28,438 [chanting] Scott! Scott! Scott! Scott! Scott! Scott! 78 00:03:30,896 --> 00:03:31,730 [marching music plays] 79 00:03:32,730 --> 00:03:36,271 ♪ I know a special word ♪ 80 00:03:36,354 --> 00:03:39,521 ♪ It starts with a capital "T" ♪ 81 00:03:39,604 --> 00:03:43,521 ♪ Add little "e," little "a," little "m" ♪ 82 00:03:43,604 --> 00:03:46,980 ♪ And you spelled out "team" for me ♪ 83 00:03:47,062 --> 00:03:50,730 ♪ And "me" and "me" and "me" make "we" ♪ 84 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:54,646 ♪ And I believe we can all agree ♪ 85 00:03:54,730 --> 00:03:58,312 ♪ That that's the way It should always be ♪ 86 00:03:58,396 --> 00:04:01,980 ♪ We're a team with a capital "T" ♪ 87 00:04:03,604 --> 00:04:06,229 [fanfare plays] 88 00:04:22,104 --> 00:04:22,938 [cheering] 89 00:04:24,771 --> 00:04:27,730 Ladies and gentlemen, the opening ceremony has concluded, 90 00:04:27,813 --> 00:04:30,688 you'll see every second live on the Marginal Sports Network. 91 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,062 Hooray! Hooray! 92 00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:34,896 Thank you, cable TV, and your vast, gaping maw 93 00:04:34,980 --> 00:04:37,104 of airtime needing to be filled. 94 00:04:37,187 --> 00:04:39,730 You and your Junior Boy Ranger's! Ptooey! 95 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,646 I know it's counter to your nature, 96 00:04:41,730 --> 00:04:43,730 but would you try not to denigrate 97 00:04:43,813 --> 00:04:45,187 that of which you know nothing. 98 00:04:45,271 --> 00:04:47,146 I find the jamboree very intriguing. 99 00:04:47,229 --> 00:04:49,146 Maybe for dummies with no life, 100 00:04:49,229 --> 00:04:51,563 but not for Pretty Boy Helperman. 101 00:04:51,646 --> 00:04:55,271 Oh, shush, and pass me a s'more. 102 00:04:55,354 --> 00:04:56,688 Coming up, the first event, 103 00:04:56,771 --> 00:04:58,813 pitting the East Westland Eagles 104 00:04:58,896 --> 00:05:01,021 against the West East Westland Wolfpack, 105 00:05:01,104 --> 00:05:02,688 will be team tent pitching! 106 00:05:08,771 --> 00:05:09,604 [crowd cheering] 107 00:05:10,521 --> 00:05:13,187 An entire group to pitch a one-pup pup tent? 108 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,521 What a terrible waste of boypower. 109 00:05:15,604 --> 00:05:17,604 [whistle blows] 110 00:05:29,771 --> 00:05:31,187 Eat my brilliance! 111 00:05:31,271 --> 00:05:34,396 Unfortunate metaphor, but you get the point. 112 00:05:34,479 --> 00:05:35,771 Go, Eagles! 113 00:05:37,855 --> 00:05:38,646 [cheering] 114 00:05:39,521 --> 00:05:40,479 [claps unenthusiastically] 115 00:05:41,563 --> 00:05:45,021 The human-pyramid competition goes to East Westland... 116 00:05:45,104 --> 00:05:46,604 As well as 117 00:05:46,730 --> 00:05:48,896 the make-a-cardboard-cutout- of-yourself competition. 118 00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:50,396 Naturally. 119 00:05:50,479 --> 00:05:51,312 [ding] 120 00:05:51,896 --> 00:05:52,730 [buzzing] 121 00:05:53,646 --> 00:05:56,187 [all] Oh, man! 122 00:05:56,271 --> 00:05:57,104 [laughing and cheering] 123 00:05:59,146 --> 00:05:59,980 [clears throat] Ooh. 124 00:06:00,855 --> 00:06:03,312 [Scott] Bandage making, bird calling-- 125 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:05,813 Hmm, old-lady-across-the-street helping-- 126 00:06:05,896 --> 00:06:07,813 and practical-catapult building. 127 00:06:07,896 --> 00:06:11,646 Hey, Lenny, there's two more events I can combine into one. 128 00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:12,563 [screams] 129 00:06:13,646 --> 00:06:14,479 [groans] 130 00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:17,521 Don't strain yourself congratulating me. 131 00:06:17,604 --> 00:06:19,479 Scott, I'm happy we're winning, 132 00:06:19,563 --> 00:06:22,229 but don't you think you're forgetting something? 133 00:06:22,312 --> 00:06:24,479 There's an old expression that goes, 134 00:06:24,563 --> 00:06:25,980 "there's no 'i' in 'team.'" 135 00:06:26,062 --> 00:06:28,146 Yes, but there's a "me" in "team"! 136 00:06:28,229 --> 00:06:30,354 [sighs] Good night, Scott. 137 00:06:30,438 --> 00:06:34,271 There's also "meat," "tame," "mate," "ate," "eat," "tam," 138 00:06:34,354 --> 00:06:35,896 "mat," "met," "at," 139 00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:38,271 and, for all you Latin scholars, 140 00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:40,396 "et," as in "et tu, brute?" 141 00:06:40,479 --> 00:06:41,312 [whistle blows] 142 00:06:42,187 --> 00:06:43,021 [crowd cheering] 143 00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:49,187 Okay, boys, this hike is our path to glory-- 144 00:06:49,271 --> 00:06:51,354 glory-- do you hear me?! 145 00:06:51,438 --> 00:06:54,896 [sleepily] J-just five more minutes, Mom. 146 00:06:54,980 --> 00:06:55,813 [yawns] 147 00:06:56,813 --> 00:06:58,354 Please pay strict attention 148 00:06:58,438 --> 00:07:00,688 to the rules of the team-hike competition. 149 00:07:00,771 --> 00:07:01,855 They will be read once... 150 00:07:01,938 --> 00:07:03,855 Don't worry, this is in the bag... 151 00:07:03,938 --> 00:07:06,354 The first troop to hike the full distance 152 00:07:06,438 --> 00:07:08,646 under its own power with no outside help 153 00:07:08,730 --> 00:07:10,771 and successfully reach the summit 154 00:07:10,855 --> 00:07:12,312 of Little Bignose Rock-- 155 00:07:12,396 --> 00:07:14,730 not to be confused with Big Bignose Rock-- 156 00:07:14,813 --> 00:07:16,146 shall be declared the winner. 157 00:07:16,229 --> 00:07:19,730 ...and I'll lead us to Big Bignose Rock and victory! 158 00:07:19,813 --> 00:07:22,521 Uh, Scott, I think you're wrong. The judge said-- 159 00:07:22,604 --> 00:07:24,980 let me do the thinking. 160 00:07:25,062 --> 00:07:27,146 You do the following and the sharing in the credit. 161 00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:28,354 Okay. 162 00:07:29,771 --> 00:07:31,563 -[whistle blows] -Troop, ho! 163 00:07:31,646 --> 00:07:33,980 [all] Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup! 164 00:07:34,062 --> 00:07:35,563 Troop, ho! 165 00:07:35,646 --> 00:07:38,396 [all] Hup, hup... 166 00:07:40,521 --> 00:07:43,521 Looks like somebody I know could use a nutritional supplement. 167 00:07:46,062 --> 00:07:47,980 I got to tell you, I do not understand this, Ted. 168 00:07:48,062 --> 00:07:49,771 The Eagles seem to be marching-- 169 00:07:49,855 --> 00:07:52,896 if you can use that word to describe their movements-- 170 00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:54,396 to Big Bignose Rock, 171 00:07:54,479 --> 00:07:56,438 while The Wolfpack makes a beeline for... 172 00:07:56,521 --> 00:07:57,646 Little Bignose Rock! 173 00:07:57,730 --> 00:07:59,396 Go back! Go back, Scott! 174 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,771 They're going the wrong way, Jolly! 175 00:08:01,855 --> 00:08:04,938 Oh, for the love of liver, take it easy, will you? 176 00:08:05,021 --> 00:08:06,312 I can't bear to watch! 177 00:08:06,396 --> 00:08:09,396 See? Regional sports can be quite fascinating. 178 00:08:09,479 --> 00:08:10,813 Onward! Onward, boys! 179 00:08:10,896 --> 00:08:13,104 Glory for our team is just-- 180 00:08:13,187 --> 00:08:15,271 glory for our team is somewhere 181 00:08:15,354 --> 00:08:18,271 behind that huge Boulder blocking our way. 182 00:08:18,354 --> 00:08:20,396 Heh heh. Eh...Okay, now. 183 00:08:20,479 --> 00:08:22,896 We're not lost. No reason to panic. 184 00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:25,354 Scott, we are lost. 185 00:08:25,396 --> 00:08:26,479 We are?! 186 00:08:26,563 --> 00:08:29,104 What do you mean we're lost?! We can't be lost! 187 00:08:29,187 --> 00:08:30,938 This is Big Bignose Rock. 188 00:08:31,021 --> 00:08:34,730 We were supposed to hike to Little Bignose Rock. 189 00:08:34,813 --> 00:08:36,396 Little... Bignose Rock? 190 00:08:36,479 --> 00:08:39,980 People, you think next time you name things around here, 191 00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:42,354 you might work a little harder?! 192 00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:44,146 Well, thanks for telling me 193 00:08:44,229 --> 00:08:46,354 we were going in the wrong direction! 194 00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:47,813 There goes our trophy. 195 00:08:47,896 --> 00:08:49,354 You mean your trophy. 196 00:08:49,438 --> 00:08:51,688 This hasn't been about us for weeks. 197 00:08:51,771 --> 00:08:53,896 It's not about the team. It's all-- 198 00:08:53,980 --> 00:08:56,771 look, I don't really have the energy to go on with this. 199 00:08:56,855 --> 00:08:59,062 You know what I'm getting at, right? 200 00:08:59,146 --> 00:09:01,229 Ohh...what have I-- 201 00:09:03,813 --> 00:09:07,021 oh, what have I done?! 202 00:09:07,104 --> 00:09:09,354 Well... I've learned my lesson. 203 00:09:09,438 --> 00:09:12,521 From now on, there is no "me" in "team"-- 204 00:09:12,604 --> 00:09:14,187 only "we" in team. 205 00:09:14,271 --> 00:09:17,229 Let's ignore the obvious impossibility of that statement 206 00:09:17,312 --> 00:09:20,229 and concentrate on the spirit of it, right, guys? 207 00:09:20,312 --> 00:09:21,396 -Huh? -Huh? 208 00:09:21,479 --> 00:09:22,771 -Guess so. -Okay. 209 00:09:22,855 --> 00:09:23,771 What? 210 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,062 I'll take that. 211 00:09:25,146 --> 00:09:26,646 This is my solemn vow-- 212 00:09:26,730 --> 00:09:29,771 henceforth, I will respect your ranger skills 213 00:09:29,855 --> 00:09:32,104 and allow us to work as a team! 214 00:09:32,187 --> 00:09:34,938 Just as soon as I single-handedly lead us 215 00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:37,438 to Little Bignose Rock and victory! 216 00:09:38,563 --> 00:09:40,604 Aaaaaaaah! 217 00:09:40,688 --> 00:09:42,271 Guys! 218 00:09:42,354 --> 00:09:44,354 Down here! 219 00:09:44,438 --> 00:09:47,896 Okay, guys, this is where you really teach me my lesson. 220 00:09:47,980 --> 00:09:51,438 You pull together, use all your ranger skills to rescue me, 221 00:09:51,521 --> 00:09:53,438 and win the trophy as a true team! 222 00:09:53,521 --> 00:09:55,229 It's ironically perfect. 223 00:09:55,312 --> 00:09:59,396 Scott, we forgot all that skill stuff once you took over. 224 00:09:59,771 --> 00:10:02,312 Or it's just ironically depressing. 225 00:10:02,396 --> 00:10:03,855 I know, I know, I know! 226 00:10:03,938 --> 00:10:06,271 If we find a giant finger somewhere, 227 00:10:06,354 --> 00:10:08,479 we can reach down into the ravine 228 00:10:08,563 --> 00:10:09,855 and flick you out! 229 00:10:09,938 --> 00:10:11,438 Hehhhh! 230 00:10:11,521 --> 00:10:14,646 I think I'll just wait for the wild animals to pick me apart, 231 00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:16,062 if you don't mind. 232 00:10:16,146 --> 00:10:17,438 [boy] Wolfpack, ho! 233 00:10:17,521 --> 00:10:18,730 What the-- 234 00:10:20,521 --> 00:10:22,438 Wolfpack, halt! 235 00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:24,646 Initiate handkerchief maneuver number 7! 236 00:10:24,730 --> 00:10:26,521 [all] Yes, sir! 237 00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:33,855 How ironically appropriate. 238 00:10:33,938 --> 00:10:35,062 Thank you, boys. 239 00:10:35,146 --> 00:10:37,354 You saved me, knowing full well 240 00:10:37,438 --> 00:10:41,021 I would then beat you and claim victory for East Westland. 241 00:10:41,104 --> 00:10:43,730 Actually, the rules say you're disqualified 242 00:10:43,813 --> 00:10:46,521 if you finish the hike with any outside help. 243 00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:50,646 You know, I should really start paying attention 244 00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:52,688 to those rule thingies. 245 00:10:52,771 --> 00:10:54,479 And there they are, folks-- 246 00:10:54,563 --> 00:10:56,271 the West East Westland Wolfpack, 247 00:10:56,354 --> 00:10:58,855 winners of the large trophy of importance 248 00:10:58,938 --> 00:11:00,563 for the ninth year in a row! 249 00:11:02,646 --> 00:11:04,479 Oh, someday I'll win. 250 00:11:06,271 --> 00:11:09,104 Aw, don't feel so bad. You just can't help yourself. 251 00:11:09,187 --> 00:11:10,855 I don't feel bad for myself. 252 00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:13,354 I feel bad for you and the rest of the guys. 253 00:11:13,438 --> 00:11:16,438 At least last year when you lost, you had some fun. 254 00:11:16,521 --> 00:11:17,396 Now it's all over. 255 00:11:17,479 --> 00:11:18,604 It's not over yet. 256 00:11:18,688 --> 00:11:21,563 The parade's gonna go on for at least another hour. 257 00:11:21,646 --> 00:11:22,563 You mean...? 258 00:11:22,646 --> 00:11:23,813 Let's have some fun! 259 00:11:23,896 --> 00:11:25,104 Yahoo! 260 00:11:25,187 --> 00:11:27,855 Last one to the potholder-making pavilion 261 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,146 is a rotten egg! 262 00:11:29,229 --> 00:11:32,229 I have got to teach that dog to lighten up a little. 263 00:12:04,062 --> 00:12:08,312 [narrator] The outlook isn't brilliant in East Westland this fine day. 264 00:12:08,396 --> 00:12:12,354 A friendship will be tested, and there will be heck to pay. 265 00:12:12,438 --> 00:12:16,479 The fighting won't be over girls or tacos at the mall, 266 00:12:16,563 --> 00:12:20,563 but tryouts for East Westland's Mighty Bitty League Of Ball. 267 00:12:20,646 --> 00:12:23,438 Ah, baseball! 268 00:12:23,521 --> 00:12:25,813 The roar of the foul-line paint... 269 00:12:25,896 --> 00:12:27,813 The smell of the mound... 270 00:12:27,896 --> 00:12:29,813 Eh...that can't be right. 271 00:12:29,896 --> 00:12:32,312 Perhaps I should read up on the game a tad. 272 00:12:32,396 --> 00:12:34,271 Don't worry. I'll help you out. 273 00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:37,146 I just hope we get on a team-- any team. 274 00:12:37,229 --> 00:12:41,938 Make way for the coach and star of the Fighting Festering Sores! 275 00:12:42,021 --> 00:12:43,438 Eh heh heh heh! 276 00:12:43,521 --> 00:12:45,396 Perhaps not any team. 277 00:12:45,479 --> 00:12:48,604 [narrator] The coaches, they assembled. The whistle, it was blown. 278 00:12:48,688 --> 00:12:52,604 The pitcher, he got ready. And the tryout had begun. 279 00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:55,938 And after just one mighty hit, it was plain for all to see 280 00:12:56,021 --> 00:12:57,563 who the newest, hottest, 281 00:12:57,646 --> 00:12:59,187 coolest first-draft pick would be. 282 00:12:59,271 --> 00:13:02,938 Ha hey! This is fun! 283 00:13:03,021 --> 00:13:03,855 [crowd cheering] 284 00:13:05,980 --> 00:13:07,855 Scott's performance on the field 285 00:13:07,938 --> 00:13:09,604 was bright and superstarry. 286 00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:12,855 But the best that could be said for our poor Leonard was... 287 00:13:12,938 --> 00:13:14,146 Sorry. 288 00:13:17,229 --> 00:13:18,229 Aaah! 289 00:13:19,521 --> 00:13:21,146 Eek! 290 00:13:21,229 --> 00:13:23,021 Yes! Yes! 291 00:13:23,104 --> 00:13:24,938 Oh, yeah! I did it! 292 00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:28,021 Okay, he hit one. We can come out of hiding now. 293 00:13:28,104 --> 00:13:29,855 Scott, guess what?! I'm on a team! 294 00:13:29,938 --> 00:13:32,813 Sure, it's Ian's team and it's named after a facial blemish 295 00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:35,479 and I'm batting 12th and playing right field adjacent, 296 00:13:35,563 --> 00:13:36,771 but I'm on a team! 297 00:13:36,855 --> 00:13:38,062 Hey, that's great. 298 00:13:38,146 --> 00:13:39,187 How'd you do? 299 00:13:39,271 --> 00:13:40,688 Oh...not bad. 300 00:13:40,771 --> 00:13:43,062 He's on my team! I saw him first! 301 00:13:43,146 --> 00:13:46,229 No way, loser! That kid is mine-- all mine! 302 00:13:46,312 --> 00:13:49,104 They're fighting over me, Leonard! It's incredible! 303 00:13:49,187 --> 00:13:52,438 Who would have thought when I first arrived at your school 304 00:13:52,521 --> 00:13:53,855 a scant eight months ago-- 305 00:13:53,938 --> 00:13:57,146 eight months? You've only lived in this town for eight months? 306 00:13:57,229 --> 00:13:59,813 Do you mind? I'm exulting here. 307 00:13:59,896 --> 00:14:01,855 If you want to play in our league, 308 00:14:01,938 --> 00:14:04,896 you have to have lived in the district for a full year. 309 00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:07,479 Scott, I'm sorry you can't play. 310 00:14:07,563 --> 00:14:11,396 Yeah, well...That's the way the spitball slips, I suppose. 311 00:14:11,479 --> 00:14:13,896 It's a good thing I can take it. 312 00:14:13,980 --> 00:14:17,146 Aaaaaaaah! 313 00:14:17,229 --> 00:14:19,646 Aaaah! I can't take it! 314 00:14:19,855 --> 00:14:22,229 It's not so bad. You can play next season. 315 00:14:22,312 --> 00:14:24,646 Hello! I'm a dog, Leonard-- 316 00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:28,104 a "one year equals seven dog years" dog. 317 00:14:28,187 --> 00:14:30,604 Ohhhhh! Cruel, cruel fate! 318 00:14:30,688 --> 00:14:31,813 It doesn't seem right. 319 00:14:31,896 --> 00:14:34,813 I mean, I'm not that good, and yet, I get to play. 320 00:14:34,896 --> 00:14:36,354 And you, you're... 321 00:14:36,438 --> 00:14:38,563 The greatest thing to happen to the game 322 00:14:38,646 --> 00:14:40,521 since the invention of the funnel cake, 323 00:14:40,604 --> 00:14:42,146 and I can only sit and watch. 324 00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:43,521 Oh, it's all so unfair, 325 00:14:43,604 --> 00:14:46,855 so inconsolably, so unmitigatedly-- 326 00:14:46,938 --> 00:14:48,479 hold that tragic thought. 327 00:14:48,563 --> 00:14:51,062 Must one have lived here for a year to be a coach? 328 00:14:51,146 --> 00:14:53,187 -No. -Much obliged. 329 00:14:53,271 --> 00:14:54,938 Thanks for waiting, Leonard. 330 00:14:55,021 --> 00:14:56,479 Great news-- I can coach! 331 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,521 Coach? 332 00:14:57,604 --> 00:14:58,646 Yes! 333 00:14:58,730 --> 00:15:00,771 I can join your team and coach you! 334 00:15:00,855 --> 00:15:03,354 It's a natural-- I'm a great player, you... 335 00:15:03,438 --> 00:15:04,730 Stink on ice? 336 00:15:04,813 --> 00:15:06,688 A little vulgar, but fair enough. 337 00:15:06,771 --> 00:15:08,062 It's perfect, Leonard. 338 00:15:08,146 --> 00:15:10,604 I'll pass on my gift for the game to you! 339 00:15:10,688 --> 00:15:12,521 But Mr. Wazselewski's the manager. 340 00:15:12,604 --> 00:15:15,688 You think he and the rest of the team will go along with this? 341 00:15:15,771 --> 00:15:17,771 -Yes, please! -Oh, yes, Scott, please! 342 00:15:17,855 --> 00:15:18,938 Do it, Scott! 343 00:15:19,021 --> 00:15:21,146 Oh, I think they're onboard. 344 00:15:21,229 --> 00:15:24,146 Here's how you show 'em the old pepper. Ha ha ha! 345 00:15:26,896 --> 00:15:27,730 [sizzling] 346 00:15:28,688 --> 00:15:29,604 You follow? 347 00:15:29,730 --> 00:15:30,563 Uh-huh. 348 00:15:36,062 --> 00:15:39,312 Back, back, back, back, back, back, back! 349 00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:41,730 Gone! Goodbye! 350 00:15:41,813 --> 00:15:43,354 Is it my turn yet? 351 00:15:48,521 --> 00:15:49,521 Uhhh! 352 00:15:49,604 --> 00:15:50,646 Pttt! 353 00:15:50,730 --> 00:15:53,187 Great catch, Leonard. You're learning fast. 354 00:15:53,271 --> 00:15:55,146 Stick with me, and before you know it, 355 00:15:55,229 --> 00:15:56,980 you'll be in the majors-- the show. 356 00:15:57,062 --> 00:15:58,980 But I'm happy just being on Ian's team 357 00:15:59,062 --> 00:16:00,813 and playing right field adjacent. 358 00:16:00,896 --> 00:16:03,604 Nobody ever hits there, so I can't screw up too bad. 359 00:16:03,688 --> 00:16:05,646 Good, good. Keep playing modest. 360 00:16:05,730 --> 00:16:07,896 Nobody likes an arrogant superstar. 361 00:16:07,980 --> 00:16:09,312 Take it from me. 362 00:16:09,396 --> 00:16:10,563 Now back to work. 363 00:16:10,646 --> 00:16:12,646 Let's go over the signs. This one... 364 00:16:15,771 --> 00:16:17,187 ...means "hit a home run." 365 00:16:17,271 --> 00:16:18,980 This one... 366 00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:21,604 Means "hit a big, big home run." 367 00:16:21,688 --> 00:16:23,688 I think I like this one better. 368 00:16:23,771 --> 00:16:24,855 What's that? 369 00:16:24,938 --> 00:16:27,563 "Hold your bat up and pray for a bunt." 370 00:16:27,646 --> 00:16:28,479 [crowd cheering] 371 00:16:29,604 --> 00:16:30,730 Whoo-hoo! 372 00:16:30,813 --> 00:16:31,855 Ho, boy! 373 00:16:31,938 --> 00:16:34,688 Now, Ian will bat first, Ruth second, 374 00:16:34,771 --> 00:16:37,187 Muddy third, Leonard fourth... 375 00:16:37,271 --> 00:16:38,855 [all groan] 376 00:16:38,938 --> 00:16:42,021 What?! Leonard gets to play center field and bat cleanup? 377 00:16:42,104 --> 00:16:44,021 [scoffs] He can't field or hit! 378 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:46,229 I know. I didn't ask for this. 379 00:16:46,312 --> 00:16:48,646 Ugh! What clown made this lineup?! 380 00:16:48,730 --> 00:16:50,271 Foam fingers! 381 00:16:50,354 --> 00:16:54,312 Get your special commemorative Leonard Helperman foam fingers! 382 00:16:54,396 --> 00:16:56,104 Guaranteed to go up in value 383 00:16:56,187 --> 00:16:58,563 when Lenny makes the big leagues! 384 00:16:58,646 --> 00:16:59,730 Oh, no! 385 00:16:59,813 --> 00:17:00,730 Scott-- 386 00:17:00,813 --> 00:17:01,688 Hiya, champ. 387 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,521 Aaah! 388 00:17:03,604 --> 00:17:05,521 Scott, what are you-- 389 00:17:05,604 --> 00:17:07,563 Nice, huh? No time to thank me now. 390 00:17:07,646 --> 00:17:10,563 You've got some grand slams to hit today, brother. 391 00:17:10,646 --> 00:17:13,187 I can't bat cleanup and play center field. 392 00:17:13,271 --> 00:17:14,312 I'm no good. 393 00:17:14,396 --> 00:17:16,021 Nonsense. You've really improved. 394 00:17:16,104 --> 00:17:18,396 Now, just remember everything I showed you 395 00:17:18,479 --> 00:17:20,813 and believe in yourself, and you'll do great. 396 00:17:23,688 --> 00:17:25,438 Well... okay. 397 00:17:25,521 --> 00:17:26,354 [panting] 398 00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:30,688 But you have to promise you'll stop embarrassing me. 399 00:17:30,771 --> 00:17:33,021 You have my solemn word. 400 00:17:33,104 --> 00:17:39,146 ♪ O'er the land Of the free-e-e-e-e-e-e! ♪ 401 00:17:39,646 --> 00:17:43,438 ♪ And the ho-o-o-o-o-me ♪ 402 00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:47,896 ♪ Of the bra-a-a-a-a-a-ve ♪ 403 00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:53,563 ♪ And nobody's braver Than Leonard, yeah! ♪ 404 00:17:53,646 --> 00:17:55,688 [drumming] 405 00:17:59,855 --> 00:18:01,479 [narrator] Poor Leonard hoped and prayed 406 00:18:01,563 --> 00:18:03,521 he'd make at least one catch that day. 407 00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:05,438 -Boo! -Come on! 408 00:18:05,521 --> 00:18:07,438 Poor Leonard's prayers weren't answered, 409 00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,021 but Scott had missed the play. 410 00:18:09,104 --> 00:18:10,312 Gimme an "L"! 411 00:18:10,396 --> 00:18:11,604 Gimme an "E"! 412 00:18:11,688 --> 00:18:12,688 Gimme an "O"! 413 00:18:12,771 --> 00:18:14,479 Ugh! 414 00:18:14,563 --> 00:18:15,396 [all gasp] 415 00:18:15,563 --> 00:18:18,604 Ohh! Gimme an ice pack! 416 00:18:18,688 --> 00:18:19,521 [organ playing] 417 00:18:21,396 --> 00:18:23,312 There were no two ways about it. 418 00:18:23,396 --> 00:18:26,604 It was time to make a switch. So Scott told poor Leonard... 419 00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:28,771 Guess what? You're gonna pitch! 420 00:18:30,646 --> 00:18:34,563 The answer wasn't pitching, catching, or playing first. 421 00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:37,021 Then Leonard got his turn at bat. 422 00:18:37,104 --> 00:18:39,312 Things went from bad to worse. 423 00:18:39,396 --> 00:18:42,563 [crowd booing] 424 00:18:44,563 --> 00:18:47,813 The other festering sores were as gnarly as their name. 425 00:18:47,896 --> 00:18:49,396 They scratched with tooth and nail 426 00:18:49,479 --> 00:18:51,271 and got back into the game. 427 00:18:51,354 --> 00:18:52,604 Dude, you pick it up. 428 00:18:52,688 --> 00:18:55,646 Ian's bat touched it! I'm not going near that ball! 429 00:18:55,730 --> 00:18:59,521 Ha ha! Ha ha haaaaa! Ha haa! 430 00:18:59,604 --> 00:19:02,563 [panting and slobbering] 431 00:19:05,604 --> 00:19:09,062 Finally, the wildcats' lead was down to 10 to 9. 432 00:19:09,146 --> 00:19:13,563 Leonard, he came up to bat and Scott gave him the sign. 433 00:19:13,646 --> 00:19:14,813 What? 434 00:19:14,896 --> 00:19:16,730 Strike one! 435 00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:19,146 [all boo] 436 00:19:19,229 --> 00:19:22,062 Hit a game-winning home run! 437 00:19:22,146 --> 00:19:23,604 I'm trying! 438 00:19:25,688 --> 00:19:27,229 Strike two! 439 00:19:27,312 --> 00:19:29,604 Are you crazy?! That's no strike! 440 00:19:29,688 --> 00:19:31,062 Scott, it's okay. 441 00:19:31,146 --> 00:19:34,521 No, it's not okay! The bat never crossed the plate! 442 00:19:34,604 --> 00:19:37,604 It almost crossed my face! Strike two! 443 00:19:37,688 --> 00:19:39,604 Stop kicking dirt on my shoes! 444 00:19:39,688 --> 00:19:42,813 Oh, ohhh! So it's dirt you're afraid of, huh? 445 00:19:42,896 --> 00:19:44,479 I'll give you dirt! 446 00:19:45,813 --> 00:19:48,187 Scott! Stop it! I've had enough! 447 00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:51,062 Yeah, I've had enough of this umpire, too! 448 00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:53,855 Mix in some laser eye surgery next time! 449 00:19:53,938 --> 00:19:56,062 No! It's you I've had enough of! 450 00:19:56,146 --> 00:19:57,271 Me?! 451 00:19:57,354 --> 00:19:59,980 And you're not helping me! You're driving me crazy! 452 00:20:00,062 --> 00:20:02,646 How could you say that after all I've done for you? 453 00:20:02,730 --> 00:20:05,187 Do you know how long that mascot head took me to make? 454 00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:08,479 You don't have the easiest cranium to sculpt, you know! 455 00:20:08,563 --> 00:20:09,730 It's irregularly shaped! 456 00:20:09,813 --> 00:20:12,646 Don't you see? You didn't do all this for me. 457 00:20:12,730 --> 00:20:15,104 You did it for you because you can't play. 458 00:20:15,187 --> 00:20:16,688 If you really wanted to be my friend, 459 00:20:16,771 --> 00:20:18,563 you'd help me at something I'm good at 460 00:20:18,646 --> 00:20:20,688 and not try to live out your failed dreams through me. 461 00:20:20,771 --> 00:20:22,354 Well, boo hoo hoo! 462 00:20:22,479 --> 00:20:25,604 I am going to make you a ballplayer if it kills you! 463 00:20:25,688 --> 00:20:27,479 Have it your way, coach! 464 00:20:27,563 --> 00:20:30,104 I'll just swing as hard as I can, then. 465 00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:32,271 Fine! You do that, scooter! 466 00:20:32,354 --> 00:20:34,479 [all gasp] 467 00:20:36,062 --> 00:20:36,938 [all gasp] 468 00:20:38,855 --> 00:20:39,938 [both gasp] 469 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:51,396 All eyes were on Leonard as he came back to the plate, 470 00:20:51,479 --> 00:20:54,479 afraid that he would strike out and forever seal his-- 471 00:20:54,563 --> 00:20:56,438 wait! Bunt! 472 00:20:56,521 --> 00:20:58,396 Bunt?! I can't! 473 00:21:00,021 --> 00:21:01,604 Eek! 474 00:21:03,438 --> 00:21:06,688 [announcer] It's a perfect bunt by Leonard Helperman! 475 00:21:06,771 --> 00:21:09,688 And here comes muddy Walters to score the winning run! 476 00:21:09,771 --> 00:21:12,980 Sores win! 477 00:21:16,312 --> 00:21:18,604 Thanks, Scott. I appreciate it. 478 00:21:18,688 --> 00:21:20,396 You were right all along, Leonard. 479 00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:22,604 I just let you do the thing that you're good at. 480 00:21:22,688 --> 00:21:25,354 And now for the thing that I'm good at. 481 00:21:25,438 --> 00:21:31,438 Today, I consider myself the luckiest, handsomest boy 482 00:21:31,771 --> 00:21:33,813 on the face of the earth. 483 00:21:33,896 --> 00:21:36,563 Because today, I learned a lesson 484 00:21:36,646 --> 00:21:39,521 about what it means to have a friend-- 485 00:21:39,604 --> 00:21:42,187 a loyal friend, a dedicated friend, 486 00:21:42,271 --> 00:21:44,980 the best, most wonderful... 487 00:21:45,062 --> 00:21:48,396 Ah, but enough about me. Let's hear it for Leonard! 488 00:21:48,479 --> 00:21:51,229 [cheering] 489 00:21:55,271 --> 00:21:57,479 [narrator] Oh, somewhere in this favored land, 490 00:21:57,563 --> 00:21:59,396 the sun is shining bright, 491 00:21:59,479 --> 00:22:01,354 the band is playing somewhere, 492 00:22:01,438 --> 00:22:03,563 and somewhere, hearts are light. 493 00:22:03,646 --> 00:22:06,021 That somewhere is East Westland, 494 00:22:06,104 --> 00:22:08,980 where the Wildcat team was shunted 495 00:22:09,062 --> 00:22:11,730 and a friendship saved from ruin 496 00:22:11,813 --> 00:22:14,312 because mighty Leonard bunted.