1 00:00:00,062 --> 00:00:01,479 ♪ Born on the wrong end Of the leash ♪ 2 00:00:01,563 --> 00:00:04,104 -♪ He was a dreamer ♪ -♪ And a little schemer ♪ 3 00:00:04,187 --> 00:00:05,813 ♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪ 4 00:00:05,896 --> 00:00:07,438 ♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪ 5 00:00:07,521 --> 00:00:08,354 ♪ He'd start to drool ♪ 6 00:00:08,438 --> 00:00:10,146 -♪ One day he says ♪ -♪ I'll take a chance ♪ 7 00:00:10,229 --> 00:00:11,855 ♪ Trades his leash For a pair of pants ♪ 8 00:00:11,938 --> 00:00:14,229 ♪ In a glance, school becomes His favorite pastime ♪ 9 00:00:14,312 --> 00:00:16,604 ♪ I have buried a bone For the last time ♪ 10 00:00:16,688 --> 00:00:18,312 -♪ He says ♪ -♪ I want to be a boy ♪ 11 00:00:18,396 --> 00:00:19,646 ♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪ 12 00:00:19,730 --> 00:00:21,146 ♪ He's so over just being rover ♪ 13 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,604 ♪ I gotta be a boy ♪ 14 00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:23,604 ♪ It's so weird ♪ 15 00:00:23,688 --> 00:00:25,062 ♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪ 16 00:00:25,146 --> 00:00:26,688 ♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪ 17 00:00:26,771 --> 00:00:28,438 ♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪ 18 00:00:28,521 --> 00:00:30,980 Why can't I be a normal kid like any other? 19 00:00:31,062 --> 00:00:33,146 Now, doodle bug, listen to mother. 20 00:00:33,229 --> 00:00:34,938 ♪ I want to be a boy ♪ 21 00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:36,938 I hate dogs. 22 00:00:37,021 --> 00:00:39,479 ♪ I gotta be a boy ♪ 23 00:00:39,563 --> 00:00:41,479 ♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪ 24 00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,521 I do not wish to be a dog. 25 00:00:43,604 --> 00:00:45,521 ♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪ 26 00:00:45,604 --> 00:00:47,521 ♪ I got to be a boy ♪ 27 00:00:47,604 --> 00:00:49,104 ♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪ 28 00:00:49,187 --> 00:00:52,229 ♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪ 29 00:00:52,312 --> 00:00:53,187 Yes! 30 00:00:57,813 --> 00:01:01,438 [Sousa's "Liberty Bell March" plays] 31 00:01:06,563 --> 00:01:07,604 [sneezes] 32 00:01:14,271 --> 00:01:15,938 [man on PA] Hey, there, Cheapco customers-- 33 00:01:16,021 --> 00:01:18,521 50-pound bags of frozen fish livers are now on sale 34 00:01:18,604 --> 00:01:20,229 in aisle 50. 35 00:01:21,938 --> 00:01:22,771 [grunting] 36 00:01:25,021 --> 00:01:27,354 You know, while I get this, would you be a couple sweeties 37 00:01:27,438 --> 00:01:28,563 and get me some paper towels? 38 00:01:28,646 --> 00:01:30,229 Sure. Come on, Scott. 39 00:01:31,646 --> 00:01:35,354 Except... I have no idea where it is. 40 00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:39,187 The nose knows! Follow me. 41 00:01:40,021 --> 00:01:41,479 [sniffs] 42 00:01:43,396 --> 00:01:45,312 [humming] 43 00:01:47,646 --> 00:01:50,521 Hey! [muttering] 44 00:01:55,271 --> 00:01:56,104 Voilà! 45 00:01:56,187 --> 00:01:58,855 Never underestimate the power of the nose. 46 00:01:59,271 --> 00:02:00,354 You're good. 47 00:02:00,438 --> 00:02:02,896 Good? I'm fantastic! 48 00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:06,271 A dog's sense of smell is 40 times more acute than a human's. 49 00:02:06,354 --> 00:02:08,563 We are the elephants of the olfactory world. 50 00:02:08,646 --> 00:02:10,396 We never forget a smell. 51 00:02:11,229 --> 00:02:13,354 I don't know where this "old factory" world is, 52 00:02:13,438 --> 00:02:16,187 but being the elephant of anything can't be good. 53 00:02:21,688 --> 00:02:23,396 Oh, my gosh, oh, golly. Look at the time. 54 00:02:23,479 --> 00:02:25,646 Leonard, sweetie, open a can of dog food for Spot. 55 00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,438 I don't see any dog food. 56 00:02:27,521 --> 00:02:29,479 It's in the pantry next to the kippers 57 00:02:29,563 --> 00:02:31,438 and behind the jalapeño-stuffed olives. 58 00:02:37,104 --> 00:02:38,438 [grunts] 59 00:02:38,688 --> 00:02:41,521 Aah! Oh! 60 00:02:43,021 --> 00:02:44,146 Ah! 61 00:02:49,604 --> 00:02:52,396 Wh-oh-oh-oa! 62 00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:10,396 Mmm... new flavor! 63 00:03:10,479 --> 00:03:12,646 Is there anything more stomach turning 64 00:03:12,730 --> 00:03:14,312 than watching a dog eat? 65 00:03:14,396 --> 00:03:17,396 Oh, I don't know. 66 00:03:17,479 --> 00:03:20,604 Perhaps watching a bird peck at his wing pits. 67 00:03:20,688 --> 00:03:23,730 Well, excuse me, but I'd rather be a pit-pecker 68 00:03:23,813 --> 00:03:25,563 than a leg-licker. 69 00:03:25,646 --> 00:03:27,980 Well, I'd rather lick my leg clean 70 00:03:28,062 --> 00:03:30,146 than wash it in the same filthy water I'm gonna drink. 71 00:03:30,229 --> 00:03:32,563 Hey, when did this get personal? 72 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:34,312 I thought we were talking about the mutt. 73 00:03:36,938 --> 00:03:39,855 Oh, yeah, you're right. Dog habits are so vile. 74 00:03:39,938 --> 00:03:43,062 Great horny toads! I'm gonna be late for school. 75 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:50,646 [door closes] 76 00:03:50,938 --> 00:03:52,271 Revolting! 77 00:03:52,354 --> 00:03:54,604 Positively nauseating. 78 00:03:59,354 --> 00:04:03,479 [Spot] Ah, lunch-- my favorite meal of the day! 79 00:04:05,396 --> 00:04:06,229 [rumbling] 80 00:04:07,604 --> 00:04:09,563 Ew! What is this? 81 00:04:09,646 --> 00:04:12,271 That's uh... It's Thursday surprise. 82 00:04:12,354 --> 00:04:13,896 "Thursday surprise-- 83 00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:17,438 government-approved cafeteria food feeds 200. 84 00:04:17,521 --> 00:04:21,146 Warning-- avoid contact with eyes or skin." 85 00:04:22,646 --> 00:04:24,688 [rumbling] 86 00:04:27,479 --> 00:04:28,312 [sniffs] 87 00:04:28,688 --> 00:04:33,146 Hmm... this smells familiar. 88 00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:34,521 Let's see. 89 00:04:34,604 --> 00:04:39,604 Strong, hearty aroma... hint of sage, touch of barley. 90 00:04:40,896 --> 00:04:42,688 Yes! Got it! 91 00:04:42,771 --> 00:04:46,104 Hey, Leonard, you want to hear something funny? 92 00:04:46,187 --> 00:04:48,938 This is the exact same thing you fed me this morning. 93 00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:51,104 -You don't mean... -I do mean. 94 00:04:51,187 --> 00:04:54,104 Thursday surprise is dog food! 95 00:04:54,479 --> 00:04:56,021 What? Dog food? 96 00:04:56,104 --> 00:04:58,062 Thursday surprise is dog food? 97 00:04:58,146 --> 00:05:01,146 Ew! Dog food? That's gross! 98 00:05:01,229 --> 00:05:03,146 They're feeding us dog food! 99 00:05:03,229 --> 00:05:07,855 [all] Heck, no! Dog food's gotta go! 100 00:05:07,938 --> 00:05:10,688 Heck, no! Dog food's gotta go! 101 00:05:10,771 --> 00:05:12,771 Wow! Look what you've started. 102 00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:15,187 [laughs] How about tha-- 103 00:05:16,980 --> 00:05:19,730 what did you say about my Thursday cuisine? 104 00:05:19,813 --> 00:05:22,229 Please, sir, I want some more? 105 00:05:22,312 --> 00:05:25,104 Did you say it tasted like dog food?! 106 00:05:25,187 --> 00:05:27,229 -No, ma'am. -Good. 107 00:05:28,730 --> 00:05:30,187 I said it is dog food. 108 00:05:30,271 --> 00:05:31,104 [gasps] 109 00:05:32,271 --> 00:05:34,396 Well, then, you just earned yourself a trip 110 00:05:34,479 --> 00:05:35,312 to the principal's office! 111 00:05:35,396 --> 00:05:38,438 I-I didn't say it was bad dog food! 112 00:05:42,062 --> 00:05:44,354 Since the dawn of man, Mr. Leadready, 113 00:05:44,438 --> 00:05:47,187 children have complained about cafeteria food. 114 00:05:47,271 --> 00:05:48,479 [Sousa's "Liberty Bell March" plays] 115 00:05:49,604 --> 00:05:50,771 Ew! 116 00:05:51,813 --> 00:05:55,938 But never in the history of East Westland Elementary School 117 00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:59,563 has anyone ever had the audacity to say 118 00:05:59,646 --> 00:06:02,146 that our federally approved, 119 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:06,479 nutritionally balanced comestibles are... dog food! 120 00:06:06,563 --> 00:06:08,813 We would never, ever do such a thing. 121 00:06:08,896 --> 00:06:11,980 But, Principal Strickler-- sir, your honor, it's true. 122 00:06:12,062 --> 00:06:13,312 It is dog food. 123 00:06:13,396 --> 00:06:15,521 How do you know it's dog food, Mr. Leadready? 124 00:06:15,604 --> 00:06:17,396 Have you ever tasted dog food? 125 00:06:17,479 --> 00:06:19,479 I refuse to answer on the grounds 126 00:06:19,563 --> 00:06:21,563 that you might kick me out of school, 127 00:06:21,646 --> 00:06:24,354 and I'll miss this afternoon's spelling test, 128 00:06:24,438 --> 00:06:27,187 for which I've already memorized the bonus words. 129 00:06:27,271 --> 00:06:31,187 Then I order you to appear before the special school board 130 00:06:31,271 --> 00:06:34,312 and community assembly I am assembling as we speak. 131 00:06:34,396 --> 00:06:38,021 Me? Assemble? In front of an assembly? 132 00:06:38,104 --> 00:06:42,938 Yes, either prove our school cafeteria served dog food, 133 00:06:43,021 --> 00:06:47,229 or there will be no spelling bee for you ever! 134 00:06:47,354 --> 00:06:48,479 [whimpers, gulps] 135 00:06:50,479 --> 00:06:52,563 [dogs barking] 136 00:06:54,980 --> 00:06:56,354 What to do... what to do! 137 00:06:56,438 --> 00:06:59,229 The special assembly's going to start in half an hour. 138 00:06:59,312 --> 00:07:01,521 There's got to be a way to prove I'm right 139 00:07:01,604 --> 00:07:03,730 without exposing my secret identity. 140 00:07:03,813 --> 00:07:05,354 Think, man, think! 141 00:07:05,438 --> 00:07:07,855 Wait! I got it! 142 00:07:07,938 --> 00:07:11,396 Cover for me at the assembly. I'll be back as fast as I can. 143 00:07:11,479 --> 00:07:13,938 Cover for him at the assembly? 144 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,396 Great Caesar's ghost! 145 00:07:20,479 --> 00:07:22,521 It's empty. Where's the trash? 146 00:07:22,604 --> 00:07:24,521 The trash? Don't look at me. 147 00:07:24,604 --> 00:07:27,062 I haven't touched trash in years, 148 00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:30,146 though it does bring back fond memories. 149 00:07:30,229 --> 00:07:31,604 Ahh... good times. 150 00:07:31,688 --> 00:07:33,396 It's Thursday, dummy. 151 00:07:33,479 --> 00:07:34,563 I know it's Thursday 152 00:07:34,646 --> 00:07:37,396 because they serve dog food in the cafeteria, 153 00:07:37,479 --> 00:07:39,104 but where's the trash?! 154 00:07:42,354 --> 00:07:45,604 Sweet mother of recyclables! There goes my evidence. 155 00:07:45,688 --> 00:07:48,438 I think the strain of living a double life 156 00:07:48,521 --> 00:07:50,146 is finally getting to him. 157 00:07:57,896 --> 00:08:00,855 Oh, why couldn't I have been born a greyhound? 158 00:08:01,021 --> 00:08:03,688 [tires screech] 159 00:08:05,104 --> 00:08:07,312 [sniffs] 160 00:08:07,396 --> 00:08:09,688 Thank you! 161 00:08:13,730 --> 00:08:18,646 And then the rope says, "I'm a frayed knot." 162 00:08:20,312 --> 00:08:21,146 [laughs nervously] 163 00:08:22,563 --> 00:08:24,980 Get it? "A frayed knot"? 164 00:08:25,062 --> 00:08:26,896 Is this thing on? 165 00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:30,271 That's enough, Mr. Helperman. 166 00:08:30,354 --> 00:08:32,771 You wasted enough of our time. 167 00:08:32,855 --> 00:08:34,104 It's obvious that Scott Leadready II 168 00:08:34,187 --> 00:08:37,396 has no proof that our cafeteria serves dog food, 169 00:08:37,479 --> 00:08:39,688 and he has obviously skipped town. 170 00:08:39,771 --> 00:08:43,438 So as punishment for aiding and abetting his vicious lies, 171 00:08:43,521 --> 00:08:46,062 you will suffer the same punishment 172 00:08:46,146 --> 00:08:47,688 I've prepared for him. 173 00:08:47,771 --> 00:08:50,438 -[all gasp] -My poor baby! 174 00:08:54,271 --> 00:08:55,938 Stop this inquisition! 175 00:08:56,021 --> 00:08:57,479 I've got my proof! 176 00:08:57,563 --> 00:09:00,646 This can was used to feed Leonard's dog this morning. 177 00:09:00,730 --> 00:09:03,813 Its contents are identical to what is in this can 178 00:09:03,896 --> 00:09:05,354 of Thursday surprise. 179 00:09:05,438 --> 00:09:06,271 [all shouting] 180 00:09:07,604 --> 00:09:08,771 Silence! 181 00:09:08,855 --> 00:09:11,438 You forget that I worked as a supermarket stock boy 182 00:09:11,521 --> 00:09:13,438 during the last teachers' strike. 183 00:09:13,521 --> 00:09:17,104 I can read bar codes. 184 00:09:17,187 --> 00:09:19,312 Aha! This isn't dog food! 185 00:09:19,396 --> 00:09:23,604 It's corned-beef hash, also known as Thursday surprise. 186 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:27,396 All this proves is that Leonard Helperman 187 00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:29,730 feeds his dog corned-beef hash. 188 00:09:29,813 --> 00:09:30,896 Huh? 189 00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:31,980 Oopsy. 190 00:09:32,062 --> 00:09:34,229 Leonard Amadeus Helperman, 191 00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:36,980 you fed Spot our good corned-beef hash? 192 00:09:37,062 --> 00:09:38,062 I did? 193 00:09:38,146 --> 00:09:40,896 -You did? -How? Unless... 194 00:09:42,479 --> 00:09:45,479 Wh-oh-oh-oh-oa! 195 00:09:45,563 --> 00:09:48,896 I guess I grabbed the wrong can by mistake. 196 00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:51,146 [laughs nervously] My bad. 197 00:09:51,646 --> 00:09:52,855 No, Scott's bad. 198 00:09:52,938 --> 00:09:54,563 And now he must pay the price 199 00:09:54,646 --> 00:09:57,104 for slandering our Thursday surprise. 200 00:09:57,187 --> 00:09:58,771 Wait! Don't punish Scott 201 00:09:58,855 --> 00:10:01,062 for standing up for what he thought was right. 202 00:10:01,146 --> 00:10:03,896 He was brave. He was courageous. 203 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:05,646 Okay, he was wrong 204 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,604 about Thursday surprise being dog food, 205 00:10:07,688 --> 00:10:09,062 but he was right 206 00:10:09,146 --> 00:10:11,354 about it being the same thing I fed my dog Spot this morning. 207 00:10:11,438 --> 00:10:12,479 And, if I might interrupt, 208 00:10:12,563 --> 00:10:15,646 a handsomer, smarter pooch you've never seen. 209 00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:17,104 I'll take it from here. 210 00:10:17,187 --> 00:10:20,396 Nay, good people, mine was a sin of arrogance, 211 00:10:20,479 --> 00:10:24,438 of jumping to a conclusion before I had conclusive proof. 212 00:10:24,980 --> 00:10:27,021 I guess all I'm trying to say is 213 00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:30,354 I'm sorry for besmirching Clancy's cuisine 214 00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:33,521 and for any undue grief I have caused the faculty 215 00:10:33,604 --> 00:10:36,438 of Fala D. Roosevelt Elementary School. 216 00:10:36,521 --> 00:10:38,604 Very impressive, Mr. Leadready, 217 00:10:38,688 --> 00:10:40,396 but you're still gonna have to pay 218 00:10:40,479 --> 00:10:42,521 for your irresponsible actions. 219 00:10:42,604 --> 00:10:43,438 I understand, sir, 220 00:10:43,521 --> 00:10:46,271 and I'm ready to accept my punishment like a man. 221 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:47,896 I mean... dog. I mean, boy! 222 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,563 Very well, then. Clancy? 223 00:10:53,771 --> 00:10:55,771 [gulps] 224 00:10:59,062 --> 00:11:03,062 And so, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, 225 00:11:03,146 --> 00:11:07,104 in order to prove to you that our fine, upstanding, 226 00:11:07,187 --> 00:11:09,187 federally funded and parent-donation assisted 227 00:11:09,271 --> 00:11:13,146 school cafeteria does not serve dog food on Thursdays, 228 00:11:13,229 --> 00:11:16,771 Scott Leadready II will now eat a giant bowl 229 00:11:16,855 --> 00:11:19,187 full of Thursday surprise. 230 00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:24,688 And you'd better make it look like you enjoy it. 231 00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,187 Yes, sir! 232 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:32,521 Heh-heh! All this, and I still get to go to school. 233 00:11:32,604 --> 00:11:33,646 [belches] 234 00:11:36,604 --> 00:11:39,021 ["Alouette" plays] 235 00:11:45,479 --> 00:11:46,938 [boy laughs] Oui, oui! 236 00:11:52,187 --> 00:11:53,938 [man] A symbiotic relationship 237 00:11:54,021 --> 00:11:57,187 is one where two organisms benefit or enrich 238 00:11:57,271 --> 00:12:00,563 each other's existence, like bees and flowers. 239 00:12:03,771 --> 00:12:06,396 The opposite of a symbiotic relationship 240 00:12:06,479 --> 00:12:09,563 is a parasitic relationship, where one organism survives 241 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:13,896 by feeding off the body of another, like fleas and dogs. 242 00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:18,604 How can they show this stuff to kids? 243 00:12:18,688 --> 00:12:21,438 At least fleas stay with you all the time. 244 00:12:21,521 --> 00:12:25,396 Since my invisible friend Notar left, I've got nobody. 245 00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:30,021 Notar, why did you have to leave?! 246 00:12:34,771 --> 00:12:37,980 So do you think you and me have a symbiotic relationship? 247 00:12:38,062 --> 00:12:41,062 It's "you and I," and yes, I do. 248 00:12:41,146 --> 00:12:44,312 You feed me, clothe me, and provide me with shelter. 249 00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:46,855 And I guard your house, shower you with affection, 250 00:12:46,938 --> 00:12:48,021 and correct your grammar. 251 00:12:48,104 --> 00:12:50,438 A mutually beneficial relationship 252 00:12:50,521 --> 00:12:53,688 between two disparate organisms if ever there was one. 253 00:12:53,771 --> 00:12:55,604 I guess we're a pretty good match. 254 00:12:55,688 --> 00:12:57,146 Yes, we are. 255 00:12:57,229 --> 00:12:59,354 Now, do you want to stand here yakking all day, 256 00:12:59,438 --> 00:13:01,771 or shall we partake in the much-loved and time-honored 257 00:13:01,855 --> 00:13:04,771 symbiotic boy-dog tradition of fetch? 258 00:13:04,855 --> 00:13:09,354 Right. Fetch the ball, Spot! 259 00:13:09,438 --> 00:13:11,896 [snoring] 260 00:13:20,896 --> 00:13:24,604 Hey, Leonard... are you itchy? 261 00:13:24,688 --> 00:13:26,771 No, I'm sleeping. 262 00:13:26,855 --> 00:13:28,187 Well, wake up. 263 00:13:28,271 --> 00:13:30,771 All of a sudden, I'm itching like crazy. 264 00:13:30,855 --> 00:13:34,855 Is Mrs. H. Buying those cheap, synthetic-blend sheets again? 265 00:13:34,938 --> 00:13:37,479 Nope. It says "100% Egyptian cotton." 266 00:13:37,563 --> 00:13:40,396 Oh, great. You know what this means? 267 00:13:40,479 --> 00:13:42,855 You're gonna keep us up all night whining? 268 00:13:42,938 --> 00:13:44,187 Maybe you have fleas. 269 00:13:44,271 --> 00:13:45,354 [gasps] 270 00:13:45,438 --> 00:13:46,730 Bite your tongue, sir! 271 00:13:46,813 --> 00:13:50,896 Good dogs don't get fleas, and I'm as good as they come. 272 00:13:50,980 --> 00:13:54,396 Besides, if I had fleas, I'd be able to brush back my fur 273 00:13:54,479 --> 00:13:57,271 and see them crawling around like... Aah! 274 00:13:57,354 --> 00:13:59,646 Fleas! 275 00:13:59,730 --> 00:14:01,438 You probably picked them up in the park. 276 00:14:01,521 --> 00:14:04,938 You see, this is why I avoid public facilities. 277 00:14:09,104 --> 00:14:10,396 [shrieking] 278 00:14:18,438 --> 00:14:20,980 Ha! I've got ya! 279 00:14:21,062 --> 00:14:24,271 Lunchtime is over, and now it's time to pay the bill. 280 00:14:24,354 --> 00:14:26,021 [French accent] Please, monsieur doggy, 281 00:14:26,104 --> 00:14:27,813 allow me to introduce myself. 282 00:14:27,896 --> 00:14:30,521 I am Larue, and this is my brother Etienne. 283 00:14:30,604 --> 00:14:33,312 And all we ask for is an occasional meal 284 00:14:33,396 --> 00:14:34,813 and a place to call home. 285 00:14:34,896 --> 00:14:35,855 Talk to the paw. 286 00:14:35,938 --> 00:14:38,104 You're nothing but lowly parasites 287 00:14:38,187 --> 00:14:41,771 that just want to suck my blood and give nothing back in return. 288 00:14:41,855 --> 00:14:43,521 Oh, no, no, monsieur. 289 00:14:43,604 --> 00:14:47,354 If you let us stay, we can give you something in return. 290 00:14:47,438 --> 00:14:49,146 Oui! 291 00:14:49,229 --> 00:14:52,521 We will be your servants and do anything your heart desires. 292 00:14:52,604 --> 00:14:54,104 Like a symbiotic relationship. 293 00:14:54,187 --> 00:14:55,604 That's crazy talk. 294 00:14:55,688 --> 00:14:58,563 Yes... so crazy it just might work. 295 00:14:58,646 --> 00:15:03,187 Imagine dog and flea, living in peaceful coexistence-- 296 00:15:03,271 --> 00:15:06,438 a shining example for the whole world to follow. 297 00:15:06,521 --> 00:15:12,312 And so I say, "Yes. Yes, my tiny, bloodsucking friends. 298 00:15:12,396 --> 00:15:15,187 Let the symbiosis begin!" 299 00:15:15,271 --> 00:15:16,980 -Oh-oh! Oui, monsieur! -Oh-oh! Oui, monsieur! 300 00:15:17,062 --> 00:15:19,021 Who wants action on how long this lasts? 301 00:15:19,104 --> 00:15:21,104 -I'm in. -Me too. 302 00:15:25,438 --> 00:15:28,354 Oh, boys, my pulp is settling. 303 00:15:28,438 --> 00:15:29,312 ["La marseillaise" plays] 304 00:15:32,563 --> 00:15:34,062 Whu-uh-uh! 305 00:15:34,146 --> 00:15:35,354 Flea overboard! 306 00:15:41,021 --> 00:15:42,521 Hurry, change the channel. 307 00:15:42,604 --> 00:15:45,604 I'm missing "Genius Dogs Of The 19Th Century." 308 00:15:50,062 --> 00:15:52,396 Can we pick up the pace a little? 309 00:15:52,479 --> 00:15:54,479 This plaque isn't going to clean itself! 310 00:15:54,563 --> 00:15:56,896 Excuse us, master. 311 00:15:57,521 --> 00:15:59,187 We'd like to bring this to you. 312 00:15:59,271 --> 00:16:01,688 We tried our hardest-- honest, we did. 313 00:16:01,771 --> 00:16:03,438 But it is too big. 314 00:16:03,521 --> 00:16:06,855 We are, after all, fleas, not ants. 315 00:16:06,938 --> 00:16:08,438 Oh, what's the use? 316 00:16:08,521 --> 00:16:12,229 This symbiotic thing just isn't working out like I imagined. 317 00:16:12,312 --> 00:16:14,604 Please, monsieur, give us another chance. 318 00:16:14,688 --> 00:16:17,938 Maybe there is something we are better at, n'est-ce pas? 319 00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:18,938 Like what? 320 00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:20,771 Well, we can... bite. 321 00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:24,271 Oh, yes, we're very good at biting. 322 00:16:24,354 --> 00:16:25,438 Watch. 323 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:30,146 Ow! Yow!! 324 00:16:30,229 --> 00:16:31,438 And how, pray tell, 325 00:16:31,521 --> 00:16:36,271 in keeping with the definition of a symbiotic relationship, 326 00:16:36,354 --> 00:16:37,980 does that benefit me? 327 00:16:38,062 --> 00:16:42,604 Well, doesn't knowing that your generosity gives us life 328 00:16:42,688 --> 00:16:45,396 make you feel all warm and tingly inside? 329 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,229 And isn't that a benefit? 330 00:16:47,312 --> 00:16:51,938 Mostly it just makes me feel all itchy and crawly outside. 331 00:16:52,021 --> 00:16:53,604 I'm sorry, boys. 332 00:16:53,688 --> 00:16:56,855 I-I just can't fight nature any longer. 333 00:16:56,938 --> 00:16:58,187 Run for your lives! 334 00:16:58,271 --> 00:16:59,938 Save yourself! 335 00:17:00,021 --> 00:17:02,271 What's wrong, fella? 336 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:03,646 You got a little itch? 337 00:17:04,730 --> 00:17:07,438 Aagghhh! Fleas! 338 00:17:07,521 --> 00:17:08,396 What's going on? 339 00:17:08,479 --> 00:17:11,396 Leonard, Spot is positively infested. 340 00:17:11,479 --> 00:17:13,896 Come on, boy, I'm putting you out on the back porch 341 00:17:13,980 --> 00:17:16,563 till I can get you to the groomer for a flea bath. 342 00:17:16,646 --> 00:17:20,855 3 hours and 17 minutes. Pay up, boys. 343 00:17:27,521 --> 00:17:30,771 Sorry, Spot, but you'll have to stay out here 344 00:17:30,855 --> 00:17:32,604 till after your flea bath. 345 00:17:32,813 --> 00:17:37,604 So, what happened to dog and flea living in harmony, 346 00:17:37,688 --> 00:17:39,271 blah, blah, blah? 347 00:17:39,354 --> 00:17:41,479 I'm sorry, fellas. I can't help it. 348 00:17:41,563 --> 00:17:43,938 You're fleas. I'm a dog. It's nature. 349 00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:47,563 I don't hate you, but I can't have you living on me. 350 00:17:47,646 --> 00:17:50,146 Ah, it's okay, mon ami. Don't feel bad. 351 00:17:50,229 --> 00:17:52,604 You were right. We are parasites. 352 00:17:52,688 --> 00:17:55,646 We can't help it. It's just how we are made, huh? 353 00:17:55,730 --> 00:17:58,479 But at least we don't kill what we eat, 354 00:17:58,563 --> 00:18:00,271 like lions and tigers and bears. 355 00:18:00,354 --> 00:18:02,730 Oh, my! I never thought of it that way. 356 00:18:02,813 --> 00:18:05,813 We only ask for a nibble here, a bite there. 357 00:18:05,896 --> 00:18:07,187 Is that so wrong? 358 00:18:07,271 --> 00:18:08,354 No, no, it isn't. 359 00:18:08,438 --> 00:18:11,521 After all, you're only doing what every other species 360 00:18:11,604 --> 00:18:13,980 on the planet is trying to do-- survive. 361 00:18:14,062 --> 00:18:16,855 Unfortunately, Leonard's mother has a plan of her own, 362 00:18:16,938 --> 00:18:18,438 and it doesn't include you. 363 00:18:18,521 --> 00:18:20,438 Sometimes, Etienne, life is cruel, no? 364 00:18:20,521 --> 00:18:21,521 Oui! 365 00:18:21,604 --> 00:18:24,396 ♪ Beneath the ocean, in the sky ♪ 366 00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:26,604 ♪ Upon the fruited plain ♪ 367 00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:28,438 ♪ All earth's creatures, big and small ♪ 368 00:18:28,521 --> 00:18:30,563 ♪ Join in this refrain ♪ 369 00:18:30,646 --> 00:18:32,229 ♪ A simple question that we ask ♪ 370 00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,187 ♪ We pose it in a song ♪ 371 00:18:34,271 --> 00:18:36,354 ♪ To stay alive and even thrive ♪ 372 00:18:36,438 --> 00:18:38,354 ♪ Oh, can't we all just get along? ♪ 373 00:18:38,438 --> 00:18:40,521 ♪ Can't we get along? ♪ 374 00:18:40,604 --> 00:18:42,354 ♪ Get along, gotta, gotta get along ♪ 375 00:18:42,438 --> 00:18:44,021 ♪ Work together ♪ 376 00:18:44,104 --> 00:18:46,104 ♪ To find a place where we belong ♪ 377 00:18:46,187 --> 00:18:48,021 Oh-oh! Oui, oui! 378 00:18:48,104 --> 00:18:52,146 ♪ A bird and cat can coexist, As happy as you please ♪ 379 00:18:52,229 --> 00:18:55,563 ♪ So why can't I, a noble hound, Live with a pair of fleas? ♪ 380 00:18:55,646 --> 00:18:57,730 ♪ Can't we get along? ♪ 381 00:18:57,813 --> 00:18:59,479 ♪ Get along, gotta, gotta get along ♪ 382 00:18:59,563 --> 00:19:01,271 ♪ Work together ♪ 383 00:19:01,354 --> 00:19:03,730 ♪ To find a place where we belong ♪ 384 00:19:03,813 --> 00:19:04,730 [CRYING] Where do we belong? 385 00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:09,104 ♪ Here's a thought, a small idea ♪ 386 00:19:09,187 --> 00:19:10,938 ♪ To help the fleas' well-being ♪ 387 00:19:11,021 --> 00:19:13,021 ♪ Let's take them Where they'll have a home ♪ 388 00:19:13,104 --> 00:19:15,021 Of course! They'll live with Ian! 389 00:19:15,104 --> 00:19:16,980 ♪ Come, my friends, let's don't delay ♪ 390 00:19:17,062 --> 00:19:18,771 ♪ There is no time to lose-ki ♪ 391 00:19:18,855 --> 00:19:20,479 ♪ I hope, I swear, You'll like it there ♪ 392 00:19:20,563 --> 00:19:22,479 ♪ With Ian Waszelewski ♪ 393 00:19:22,563 --> 00:19:23,980 ♪ Oh, yes, we swear ♪ 394 00:19:24,062 --> 00:19:24,980 ♪ Yes, we swear ♪ 395 00:19:25,062 --> 00:19:26,688 -♪ You'll like it there ♪ -♪ We'll love it there ♪ 396 00:19:26,771 --> 00:19:32,062 ♪ With Ian Waszelewski ♪ 397 00:19:32,146 --> 00:19:34,521 [laughing] 398 00:19:38,312 --> 00:19:39,479 Oh, hello, Leonard. 399 00:19:39,563 --> 00:19:41,146 Did you come over 400 00:19:41,229 --> 00:19:43,604 to play with my collection of molds and fungi? 401 00:19:43,730 --> 00:19:45,438 Uh, not exactly. 402 00:19:45,521 --> 00:19:48,104 See, I got to thinking about how lonely you said you were. 403 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,938 And then I remembered 404 00:19:50,021 --> 00:19:51,438 that during the movie about parasites and stuff, 405 00:19:51,521 --> 00:19:54,479 you kind of perked up when they talked about fleas. 406 00:19:54,563 --> 00:19:58,688 Well, duh! Fleas are only, like, the perfect pet! 407 00:19:58,771 --> 00:20:01,479 I mean, come on, they go everywhere with you. 408 00:20:01,563 --> 00:20:03,604 You never have to buy them food. 409 00:20:03,688 --> 00:20:05,271 And they're cute as bugs, 410 00:20:05,354 --> 00:20:08,354 although technically, they fall under the order 411 00:20:08,438 --> 00:20:09,604 of siphonaptera. 412 00:20:09,688 --> 00:20:12,521 Then I don't suppose you'd want some of Spot's fleas. 413 00:20:12,604 --> 00:20:15,396 Would I?! 414 00:20:15,479 --> 00:20:19,104 Well, hot-diggety, zooma-zooma, yippee-ai-ki-ay! 415 00:20:19,187 --> 00:20:20,354 Sure, why not? 416 00:20:20,438 --> 00:20:22,438 Well, I guess this is it. 417 00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:26,271 I can't believe I'm saying this to fleas, 418 00:20:26,354 --> 00:20:28,771 but... I'm gonna miss you guys! 419 00:20:28,855 --> 00:20:31,604 And we will miss you, too, monsieur Spot. 420 00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:34,062 We had some good times, though, didn't we? 421 00:20:34,146 --> 00:20:35,521 No, not really. 422 00:20:35,604 --> 00:20:39,271 But still, you tried, and for that, we are eternally grateful. 423 00:20:39,354 --> 00:20:40,563 I did the best I could. 424 00:20:40,646 --> 00:20:43,521 For in the words of the renowned humanitarian 425 00:20:43,604 --> 00:20:46,187 and darn good organ player Albert Schweitzer, 426 00:20:46,271 --> 00:20:49,563 "a man is ethical only when life as such is sacred to him-- 427 00:20:49,646 --> 00:20:53,271 that of plants and animals, as well as that of his fellow man." 428 00:20:53,354 --> 00:20:56,396 Hey! Am I gonna get my fleas or what?! 429 00:20:56,479 --> 00:21:01,896 Come on, let's get this over with before I start bawling. 430 00:21:01,980 --> 00:21:03,604 -Oui! -Oui! 431 00:21:03,688 --> 00:21:07,688 Here, little flea-fleas. Come to daddy. 432 00:21:15,187 --> 00:21:18,813 Ahh! Hee-hee-hee-hee! 433 00:21:22,312 --> 00:21:24,146 Ah ha ha! 434 00:21:24,312 --> 00:21:26,021 Oh, this is great! 435 00:21:26,104 --> 00:21:30,104 Now I can finally start the world-famous 436 00:21:30,187 --> 00:21:32,604 Waszelewski Flea Circus! 437 00:21:32,688 --> 00:21:34,730 I get to be the ringmaster, 438 00:21:34,813 --> 00:21:38,521 and the fleas get as much of my blood as they can drink! 439 00:21:38,604 --> 00:21:41,521 It is a symbiotic relationship, you know. 440 00:21:41,604 --> 00:21:44,104 I know. I saw the movie, too. 441 00:21:44,354 --> 00:21:47,896 Oh, my gosh. Look! 442 00:21:48,104 --> 00:21:48,938 What? 443 00:21:49,021 --> 00:21:51,646 [Ian gasps] It's Notar! 444 00:21:51,730 --> 00:21:53,271 He's come home! 445 00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:54,730 Come on, fleas. 446 00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:56,855 I want you to meet Notar, 447 00:21:56,938 --> 00:22:00,021 the greatest invisible guy in the world. 448 00:22:04,062 --> 00:22:06,896 That is one kooky kid. 449 00:22:06,980 --> 00:22:08,229 He sure is. 450 00:22:08,312 --> 00:22:11,396 Hey, do you think the fleas will get along with Notar?