1
00:00:00,104 --> 00:00:01,479
♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪

2
00:00:01,563 --> 00:00:04,104
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪

3
00:00:04,187 --> 00:00:05,813
♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪

4
00:00:05,896 --> 00:00:07,438
♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪

5
00:00:07,521 --> 00:00:08,354
♪ He'd start to drool ♪

6
00:00:08,438 --> 00:00:10,146
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪

7
00:00:10,229 --> 00:00:11,855
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪

8
00:00:11,938 --> 00:00:14,229
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪

9
00:00:14,312 --> 00:00:16,604
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪

10
00:00:16,688 --> 00:00:18,312
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪

11
00:00:18,396 --> 00:00:19,646
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪

12
00:00:19,730 --> 00:00:21,146
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪

13
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,604
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪

14
00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:23,688
♪ It's so weird ♪

15
00:00:23,771 --> 00:00:25,062
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪

16
00:00:25,146 --> 00:00:26,688
♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪

17
00:00:26,771 --> 00:00:28,438
♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪

18
00:00:28,521 --> 00:00:30,980
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?

19
00:00:31,062 --> 00:00:33,146
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.

20
00:00:33,229 --> 00:00:34,938
♪ I want to be a boy ♪

21
00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:36,938
I hate dogs.

22
00:00:37,021 --> 00:00:39,479
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪

23
00:00:39,563 --> 00:00:41,479
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪

24
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,521
I do not wish to be a dog.

25
00:00:43,604 --> 00:00:46,104
♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪

26
00:00:46,187 --> 00:00:47,521
♪ I got to be a boy ♪

27
00:00:47,604 --> 00:00:49,104
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪

28
00:00:49,187 --> 00:00:52,229
♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪

29
00:00:52,312 --> 00:00:53,271
Yes!

30
00:00:55,730 --> 00:00:59,938
[bagpipes play]

31
00:01:09,646 --> 00:01:12,438
[jazz music plays]

32
00:01:17,229 --> 00:01:18,354
[upbeat dance music plays]

33
00:01:18,438 --> 00:01:19,813
Garbage!

34
00:01:19,896 --> 00:01:20,730
[classical music plays]

35
00:01:20,813 --> 00:01:22,062
Garbage!

36
00:01:22,688 --> 00:01:24,479
More garbage!

37
00:01:24,563 --> 00:01:27,771
Brother, Saturday afternoon TV
is the worst!

38
00:01:28,521 --> 00:01:29,730
[birds chirp]

39
00:01:29,813 --> 00:01:31,604
Ah, now we're talking.

40
00:01:31,688 --> 00:01:34,146
[announcer] The Soporific
Scientific Channel presents

41
00:01:34,229 --> 00:01:36,688
"Exotic Birds Of
South America."

42
00:01:36,771 --> 00:01:40,521
Holy Hannah!
I love the latinas!

43
00:01:41,771 --> 00:01:43,479
Hey! What happened to my
program?

44
00:01:43,563 --> 00:01:47,021
I changed it, and frankly,
I'm very disappointed in you,

45
00:01:47,104 --> 00:01:48,980
watching such titillating nonsense.

46
00:01:49,062 --> 00:01:50,312
It's boorish.

47
00:01:50,396 --> 00:01:52,896
Exotic birds are not boring!

48
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:55,813
Not "boring"-- boorish.

49
00:01:55,896 --> 00:01:58,187
A boor is a cretin,
a philistine,

50
00:01:58,271 --> 00:02:00,062
an individual of no breeding.

51
00:02:00,146 --> 00:02:00,980
[belches]

52
00:02:01,146 --> 00:02:02,271
Oh, never mind.

53
00:02:02,354 --> 00:02:05,104
Anyway, we're not watching
it anymore.

54
00:02:05,187 --> 00:02:07,229
I dibbed the TV for the day
weeks ago.

55
00:02:07,312 --> 00:02:08,771
What for?

56
00:02:08,855 --> 00:02:11,730
Only the single-most unmissable
television event of the year.

57
00:02:11,813 --> 00:02:14,521
[announcer] Live from the East
Westland Municipal Auditorium,

58
00:02:14,604 --> 00:02:17,354
it's the 67th Annual East Westland

59
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,438
Canine Convocation Dog Show.

60
00:02:19,521 --> 00:02:20,438
Okay, two things.

61
00:02:20,521 --> 00:02:23,604
One, a cat watching a dog
show's an abomination!

62
00:02:23,688 --> 00:02:26,438
And two, it doesn't start for
another hour.

63
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:29,855
This is the preshow.
I hate to miss any of the hype.

64
00:02:29,938 --> 00:02:31,187
Ooh, look!

65
00:02:31,271 --> 00:02:34,396
Their interactive website is
up and running.

66
00:02:34,479 --> 00:02:40,146
67thcanineconvocation.dog.

67
00:02:40,229 --> 00:02:42,980
"Profiles of the dogs
and their owners,

68
00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:46,021
interviews, insight,
downloadable stats."

69
00:02:46,104 --> 00:02:48,896
Ahh! And a fantasy
pick-the-winner game!

70
00:02:48,980 --> 00:02:50,146
I'm in heaven!

71
00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:55,396
Pardon my confusion,

72
00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:59,604
but I could have sworn you
were of the feline persuasion.

73
00:02:59,688 --> 00:03:02,688
Why do you give a hoot
about a dog show?

74
00:03:02,771 --> 00:03:06,062
Well, one, they don't televise
the cat show.

75
00:03:06,146 --> 00:03:07,479
I don't understand that.

76
00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:10,354
And two, despite its heavy
canine energy,

77
00:03:10,438 --> 00:03:13,521
the dog show still champions
all the civilized traits

78
00:03:13,604 --> 00:03:15,312
that I, as a proud descendant

79
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:19,062
of the Louisiana Puddinpuss
family, was taught to respect.

80
00:03:19,146 --> 00:03:21,312
Civilized traits?!
Like hacking up fur balls

81
00:03:21,396 --> 00:03:23,563
and leaving half-mice on
the living-room floor?

82
00:03:23,646 --> 00:03:27,104
Ooh, look! The red carpet!
Oh, it's beautiful.

83
00:03:27,187 --> 00:03:29,396
[announcer]
And here they come--

84
00:03:29,479 --> 00:03:31,646
East Westland's proudest purebreds.

85
00:03:31,730 --> 00:03:34,021
Brother, look at all those
blue bloods.

86
00:03:34,104 --> 00:03:37,021
I bet they got more papers
than a condor's birdcage.

87
00:03:37,104 --> 00:03:38,062
Say, what breed are you, Spot?

88
00:03:38,730 --> 00:03:40,396
Breed? Why, I'm not sure.

89
00:03:40,479 --> 00:03:43,438
That is to say, I've never
actually seen my papers.

90
00:03:43,521 --> 00:03:46,062
Leonard, perhaps you can enlighten us.

91
00:03:46,146 --> 00:03:49,146
What noble blood courses through
my canine veins?

92
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,229
I think you're just a mutt.

93
00:03:50,312 --> 00:03:52,146
A mutt?!

94
00:03:52,229 --> 00:03:54,813
Mutt-- defined in the
dog-show glossary

95
00:03:54,896 --> 00:03:56,396
as "a dog of mixed breed,

96
00:03:56,479 --> 00:04:00,146
utterly unwelcome in our
hallowed halls-- a mongrel."

97
00:04:00,229 --> 00:04:05,438
Me-- Spot Helperman/Scott Leadready II--
a mongrel?

98
00:04:05,521 --> 00:04:06,855
I think not!

99
00:04:06,938 --> 00:04:09,187
Now, now.
Don't feel bad.

100
00:04:09,271 --> 00:04:11,938
We can't all be scions of
the Puddinpuss dynasty.

101
00:04:12,021 --> 00:04:14,646
There's no shame in being an
untouchable.

102
00:04:14,730 --> 00:04:18,479
Your take on untouchables is
touching, but I don't accept it.

103
00:04:18,563 --> 00:04:21,396
A dog of my intellect, taste,
and bravery?

104
00:04:21,479 --> 00:04:24,354
Come on, I must be a purebred.

105
00:04:24,354 --> 00:04:28,229
Perhaps I'm an Australian cattle dog,

106
00:04:28,312 --> 00:04:30,271
said to be among the smartest of breeds.

107
00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:34,354
Or perhaps a poodle, the poshest of
pooches.

108
00:04:35,813 --> 00:04:38,896
Maybe my bravery derives from
the stalwart rescue blood

109
00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:40,479
of the St. Bernard.

110
00:04:42,062 --> 00:04:44,980
Sorry, Spot, but I don't think
you're any of those breeds.

111
00:04:45,062 --> 00:04:47,187
But I must be some breed!

112
00:04:47,271 --> 00:04:50,855
Otherwise, I'm a multibreed
or a half-breed

113
00:04:50,938 --> 00:04:53,187
or even a worse-- a no breed.

114
00:04:53,271 --> 00:04:54,646
I got to know, Leonard!

115
00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:57,646
Oh, I'm going across the street
for a bit, doodle bug.

116
00:04:57,730 --> 00:04:59,021
You can take Spot for a walk
if you want to.

117
00:05:00,271 --> 00:05:01,688
Hey, Mom, do you know what
kind of dog Spot is?

118
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:08,271
Well, of course-- he's a
lovable, dubbable, cutie-wootie,

119
00:05:08,354 --> 00:05:11,438
oogie-boogie, pupper-wupper
kind of dog.

120
00:05:11,521 --> 00:05:12,771
No. I mean what breed?

121
00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,438
Ah ha ha!

122
00:05:14,521 --> 00:05:18,479
Oh, Lenny-penny, he's got more
different kinds of blood in him

123
00:05:18,563 --> 00:05:20,438
than a hyperactive mosquito.

124
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:23,312
She obviously doesn't realize
that any dog

125
00:05:23,396 --> 00:05:25,980
who can pass himself off
as a fourth grader

126
00:05:26,062 --> 00:05:27,479
must have purebred genes.

127
00:05:27,563 --> 00:05:30,229
It's just a matter of finding
out what kind.

128
00:05:30,312 --> 00:05:31,938
Will you please be quiet?

129
00:05:32,021 --> 00:05:33,521
You're drowning out
the dog show.

130
00:05:33,604 --> 00:05:35,730
[announcer] 156 breeds of dog

131
00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:39,229
all vying for the title of
"best in show."

132
00:05:39,312 --> 00:05:41,604
Of course. That's it!

133
00:05:41,688 --> 00:05:44,104
There are 156 breeds at that show.

134
00:05:44,187 --> 00:05:46,396
One of them must be related to me.

135
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:49,396
It's just one big doggy
gene pool,

136
00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:53,521
just waiting for me to dip my
tongue in and lap, lap, lap.

137
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:57,730
Come on, Leonard,
we're taking that walk--

138
00:05:57,813 --> 00:06:01,187
to the 67th Annual East Westland

139
00:06:01,271 --> 00:06:03,730
Canine Convocation Dog Show.

140
00:06:03,813 --> 00:06:06,563
Oh, brother.
There goes my Saturday.

141
00:06:06,646 --> 00:06:10,271
I'm all atwitter, Leonard.
Look at me-- twittering!

142
00:06:10,354 --> 00:06:13,604
I absolutely love voyages of
self-discovery.

143
00:06:13,688 --> 00:06:16,688
Just like Alex Haley, in the
classic novel

144
00:06:16,771 --> 00:06:20,563
and groundbreaking miniseries,
I'm gonna find my roots!

145
00:06:20,646 --> 00:06:21,479
[snickering]

146
00:06:22,396 --> 00:06:25,479
Ha ha-- roots!
Hey, you hear that, boys?

147
00:06:25,563 --> 00:06:27,187
Yeah, what a poser.

148
00:06:27,271 --> 00:06:30,396
First, the mutt dresses up
like a boy.

149
00:06:30,479 --> 00:06:32,396
Now he's a purebred wannabe.

150
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,563
Hey, Mr. Wannabe--
heh-heh heh-heh.

151
00:06:34,646 --> 00:06:35,479
[blows raspberries]

152
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,438
See that, Leonard?
That's how mutts behave.

153
00:06:38,521 --> 00:06:39,938
I'm obviously not one of them.

154
00:06:40,021 --> 00:06:43,062
Hey, what are you talking mutts, huh?

155
00:06:43,146 --> 00:06:45,938
I'm a Sicilian Dung-Beetle Terrier.

156
00:06:46,021 --> 00:06:47,354
I got papers here!

157
00:06:47,438 --> 00:06:50,855
Yeah, and I'm a Longhaired
Ortney Sheepdog.

158
00:06:50,938 --> 00:06:52,354
I got a haircut.

159
00:06:52,438 --> 00:06:54,104
They're purebreds? Wow!

160
00:06:54,187 --> 00:06:56,354
If those lowlifes have papers,

161
00:06:56,438 --> 00:06:58,938
I must be a really special breed.

162
00:06:59,021 --> 00:07:02,396
Come on, Lenny,
let's get to that dog show.

163
00:07:02,479 --> 00:07:04,438
Thank goodness!
They finally left.

164
00:07:04,521 --> 00:07:07,271
Now I can concentrate
on the show.

165
00:07:07,354 --> 00:07:10,271
Just peace, quiet, and fine
breeding.

166
00:07:10,354 --> 00:07:11,187
[mumbling contentedly]

167
00:07:12,521 --> 00:07:13,354
[cat meows]

168
00:07:15,896 --> 00:07:18,563
What in sweet creation is that
unholy noise?!

169
00:07:20,604 --> 00:07:24,229
It's just what we don't need
around here-- another cat.

170
00:07:24,312 --> 00:07:27,730
Well, how do you do, birdie boy?

171
00:07:27,813 --> 00:07:29,521
If I wasn't such a
companionable cat,

172
00:07:29,604 --> 00:07:32,688
I might be inclined to call you lunch.

173
00:07:32,771 --> 00:07:33,604
[squeaks]

174
00:07:33,771 --> 00:07:37,396
That voice-- I know that voice.

175
00:07:37,479 --> 00:07:40,271
But seeing as I am--
companionable, that is--

176
00:07:40,354 --> 00:07:42,771
I'd settle for a bowl of crunchies

177
00:07:42,855 --> 00:07:45,396
and a place to rest for an
hour or two.

178
00:07:45,479 --> 00:07:48,187
But it couldn't be... could it?

179
00:07:48,271 --> 00:07:51,271
Hey, Jolly, there's a cat here
wanting food.

180
00:07:51,354 --> 00:07:52,896
Tell him to go away!

181
00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:54,688
Oh, come now, son.

182
00:07:54,771 --> 00:07:58,312
Is that any way to treat your
old dad?

183
00:07:58,396 --> 00:07:59,604
Say what?!

184
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:03,771
Behold, Leonard--
the dog show!

185
00:08:03,855 --> 00:08:06,604
It's like the Camelot of good breeding.

186
00:08:06,688 --> 00:08:09,146
And just as a young King Arthur
discovered his royal birth

187
00:08:09,229 --> 00:08:10,938
by pulling the sword
from the stone,

188
00:08:11,021 --> 00:08:15,896
so I, too, shall soon redefine
myself by my noble ancestry.

189
00:08:15,980 --> 00:08:17,730
King Arthur's just a legend.

190
00:08:19,062 --> 00:08:22,563
You're a real, live dog who
disguises himself as a boy.

191
00:08:22,646 --> 00:08:26,396
Oh, stop being so literal and
make like a purebred owner.

192
00:08:29,396 --> 00:08:30,229
[dogs barking]

193
00:08:31,396 --> 00:08:33,187
It's beautiful!

194
00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:38,896
Just think-- somewhere in
there lies my ancestry.

195
00:08:45,855 --> 00:08:48,646
That scruffy schlemiel is your pop?

196
00:08:48,730 --> 00:08:50,896
You told me you were one

197
00:08:50,980 --> 00:08:52,604
of the hoity-toity Louisiana Puddinpusses.

198
00:08:52,688 --> 00:08:55,021
I am... on my mother's side.

199
00:08:55,229 --> 00:08:57,896
See, my mommy, Missy Puddinpuss,
had it all--

200
00:08:57,980 --> 00:08:59,980
comfort, wealth, a good name.

201
00:09:00,062 --> 00:09:04,438
The world was her ball of
yarn... until he came along--

202
00:09:04,521 --> 00:09:09,146
Mr. Poppy, with his polished,
hard-luck story and a smile.

203
00:09:09,229 --> 00:09:12,229
He led mommy down the path of
scandal and shame.

204
00:09:12,312 --> 00:09:14,563
Left her with nothing but
bittersweet memories

205
00:09:14,646 --> 00:09:17,479
and a whole basketful of little
Puddinpusses to feed,

206
00:09:17,563 --> 00:09:18,896
including me.

207
00:09:19,062 --> 00:09:20,646
That's the cat on our
windowsill,

208
00:09:20,730 --> 00:09:23,354
and he's got some nerve showing
his whiskers around here.

209
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:27,813
He's a crude, classless,
partying, womanizing--

210
00:09:27,896 --> 00:09:31,104
whoa, whoa, whoa!
I've heard enough.

211
00:09:31,646 --> 00:09:33,980
Sounds like my kind of cat.

212
00:09:34,062 --> 00:09:36,146
Hey, there.
Jolly tells me you're his pop.

213
00:09:36,229 --> 00:09:37,354
So fill me in.

214
00:09:37,438 --> 00:09:39,938
How did a fun-loving guy like you

215
00:09:40,021 --> 00:09:41,730
turn out a prissy, fussy cat like that?

216
00:09:42,688 --> 00:09:46,396
Oh, he gets all the priss
and fuss from his mother.

217
00:09:46,479 --> 00:09:47,312
[laughter]

218
00:09:48,479 --> 00:09:51,354
Oh, come on, Jolly,
let him in.

219
00:09:51,438 --> 00:09:52,312
He's fun!

220
00:09:52,396 --> 00:09:54,229
Absotively negativo!

221
00:09:54,312 --> 00:09:58,354
Why should I let him back in?
He was the one who walked out.

222
00:09:58,438 --> 00:10:02,062
[announcer] Welcome back
to the 67th Canine Convocation Dog Show.

223
00:10:02,146 --> 00:10:05,563
The hype is all over,
and there's nothing left now

224
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:06,938
but the judging.

225
00:10:07,021 --> 00:10:08,479
[man] Attention, handlers.

226
00:10:08,563 --> 00:10:12,396
Please ready your pets for the
"best of breed" competition.

227
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:15,563
Just look at all these
admirable creatures, Leonard.

228
00:10:15,646 --> 00:10:18,604
To think, one of them is
long-lost kindred.

229
00:10:18,688 --> 00:10:20,813
They all look kind of snooty to me,

230
00:10:20,896 --> 00:10:22,396
and so do their owners.

231
00:10:22,479 --> 00:10:24,104
-Sit up!
-Lie down.

232
00:10:24,187 --> 00:10:26,646
-Be still.
-Dude, you got to stop shedding.

233
00:10:26,730 --> 00:10:29,021
Dude, it's like bad for our image.

234
00:10:29,104 --> 00:10:31,396
Leroy, y'all want to stop panting?

235
00:10:31,479 --> 00:10:35,438
Your breath's hotter than a
barbecued chili pepper in August.

236
00:10:35,521 --> 00:10:36,688
Hoover, agh!

237
00:10:36,771 --> 00:10:39,396
You're slobbering all over
my dress.

238
00:10:39,479 --> 00:10:40,771
It'll stain!

239
00:10:40,855 --> 00:10:44,021
Look, Leonard-- a dalmatian.
They're born actors, you know.

240
00:10:44,104 --> 00:10:46,604
That could explain my flair
for the theater.

241
00:10:48,229 --> 00:10:50,521
You're Seychelles Grand Hovernose.

242
00:10:50,604 --> 00:10:52,730
I recognize you from our cat's
downloadable

243
00:10:52,813 --> 00:10:55,646
dog-show fantasy game profile.

244
00:10:55,730 --> 00:10:57,104
Never mind. Hard to explain.

245
00:10:57,187 --> 00:10:59,646
But, uh [clears throat]
I was just wondering.

246
00:10:59,730 --> 00:11:01,938
Take a good look at me.
Looking? Okay.

247
00:11:02,021 --> 00:11:04,396
First impression--
don't think too much.

248
00:11:04,479 --> 00:11:05,688
Am I a dalmatian or what?

249
00:11:05,771 --> 00:11:08,021
[chuckles]
I rather doubt it.

250
00:11:08,104 --> 00:11:10,438
But the camera loves me.
I have the talent.

251
00:11:10,521 --> 00:11:12,938
But do you have the proud,
erect tail?

252
00:11:13,021 --> 00:11:15,187
The ability to run
for hours on end,

253
00:11:15,271 --> 00:11:18,312
attributable to our breeding as
English carriage dogs?

254
00:11:18,396 --> 00:11:20,771
Actually, running is not my
strong suit.

255
00:11:20,855 --> 00:11:21,980
Asthma.

256
00:11:22,062 --> 00:11:24,604
Although I do know something
about the carriage

257
00:11:24,688 --> 00:11:25,896
and its relationship

258
00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:28,604
to 17th-century English
economic development.

259
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:32,104
Do you have, in a word, Spots?

260
00:11:32,187 --> 00:11:33,146
Eh... I got one.
My name is Spot.

261
00:11:36,312 --> 00:11:37,312
[scoffs]

262
00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:40,062
You are most certainly not
a dalmatian.

263
00:11:40,146 --> 00:11:42,396
Okay. No hard feelings.

264
00:11:42,479 --> 00:11:45,062
One breed down, 155 to go.

265
00:11:47,771 --> 00:11:49,062
Ah! Bloodhounds!

266
00:11:49,146 --> 00:11:52,146
Now there's a noble breed.

267
00:11:52,229 --> 00:11:54,604
Used by law-enforcement agencies
the world over

268
00:11:54,688 --> 00:11:56,438
to track down criminals.

269
00:11:56,521 --> 00:11:57,938
I must be a bloodhound!

270
00:11:58,021 --> 00:11:59,521
How else to explain

271
00:11:59,604 --> 00:12:02,354
my extraordinary
crime-solving abilities

272
00:12:02,438 --> 00:12:06,396
in my manifestation as...
"Scottlock" Holmes?

273
00:12:06,479 --> 00:12:07,646
Ha ha ha ha!

274
00:12:07,730 --> 00:12:10,646
That's quite an outfit there, boy.

275
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:14,062
But do you have the bloodhound
saggy skin?

276
00:12:14,146 --> 00:12:19,021
The oversized ears designed to
hold the scent around the nose?

277
00:12:19,229 --> 00:12:20,563
[sniffs]

278
00:12:20,938 --> 00:12:23,813
Eh... in a word, no.

279
00:12:23,896 --> 00:12:25,229
Then take a walk, boy.

280
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:29,438
This here's a bloodhounds only area.

281
00:12:29,521 --> 00:12:32,980
For purebreds, they sure don't
have very good manners.

282
00:12:33,062 --> 00:12:35,229
It's almost like they wish they
weren't dogs.

283
00:12:37,271 --> 00:12:39,438
Maybe I'm a golden retriever.

284
00:12:39,521 --> 00:12:41,521
Uh, you're like blue, dude.

285
00:12:41,604 --> 00:12:44,229
Too small.

286
00:12:44,312 --> 00:12:46,396
-Tan grande!
-Tan grande!

287
00:12:46,479 --> 00:12:48,563
Too many fur issues.

288
00:12:48,646 --> 00:12:51,104
Not enough fur issues.

289
00:12:54,604 --> 00:12:58,521
Maybe Moe and Dickens
and the rest of them are right.

290
00:12:58,604 --> 00:13:00,354
Maybe I am just a mutt.

291
00:13:00,438 --> 00:13:01,271
Don't feel bad, Spot.

292
00:13:01,771 --> 00:13:04,813
You don't want to be like these
snobby dogs, anyway.

293
00:13:04,896 --> 00:13:05,855
You're right, bunky.

294
00:13:05,938 --> 00:13:07,187
The way they treated me,

295
00:13:07,271 --> 00:13:09,229
I wouldn't join their little
blue-blood club

296
00:13:09,312 --> 00:13:11,438
if they got down on all fours
and begged me!

297
00:13:11,521 --> 00:13:14,896
[man over PA] Calling all
Scottish Blue Bloodhounds.

298
00:13:14,980 --> 00:13:17,479
Come on, McDougal.
That's our cue!

299
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:20,521
Leonard, look!
It's one of me!

300
00:13:20,604 --> 00:13:22,146
I found my roots!

301
00:13:22,229 --> 00:13:24,730
I'm a Scottish Blue Bloodhound!

302
00:13:26,354 --> 00:13:28,187
♪ I thought through all my doggy years ♪

303
00:13:28,271 --> 00:13:30,187
♪ That's seven to your one ♪

304
00:13:30,271 --> 00:13:32,187
♪ That I was cut from motley cloth ♪

305
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:34,146
♪ With mongrels doomed to run ♪

306
00:13:34,229 --> 00:13:36,104
♪ But now I found my roots are deep ♪

307
00:13:36,187 --> 00:13:38,146
♪ In Fifi's Scottish soil ♪

308
00:13:38,229 --> 00:13:40,187
♪ And in my lusty pictish veins ♪

309
00:13:40,271 --> 00:13:41,604
♪ I hear the blue blood boil ♪

310
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:45,646
♪ Under my kilt and tam,
Sporran and chain mail ♪

311
00:13:45,730 --> 00:13:47,980
♪ This noble Spot's
A purebred scot ♪

312
00:13:48,062 --> 00:13:50,354
♪ From blue tip to blue tail ♪

313
00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:52,980
They can take away
our chew toys,

314
00:13:53,062 --> 00:13:55,980
but they cannot take away
our freedom!

315
00:13:56,062 --> 00:13:59,438
♪ It wasn't just by chance
I named my alter ego Scott ♪

316
00:13:59,521 --> 00:14:01,521
♪ It was the thread of my ancestry ♪

317
00:14:01,604 --> 00:14:03,438
♪ That tied this Celtic knot ♪

318
00:14:03,521 --> 00:14:07,438
♪ And now that I have stumbled
On my Scottish roots so deep ♪

319
00:14:07,521 --> 00:14:09,730
♪ I understand my love for haggis ♪

320
00:14:09,813 --> 00:14:11,479
♪ And my love of sheep ♪

321
00:14:11,563 --> 00:14:15,062
♪ Under my kilt and tam,
Sporran and chain mail ♪

322
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,312
♪ This noble Spot's a purebred scot ♪

323
00:14:17,604 --> 00:14:23,521
♪ From blue tip to blue tail ♪

324
00:14:23,604 --> 00:14:25,187
[man over PA] Last call--

325
00:14:25,271 --> 00:14:27,271
all Scottish Blue Bloodhounds
to the show floor.

326
00:14:27,354 --> 00:14:29,521
Come on, Leonard.
Take me out there.

327
00:14:29,604 --> 00:14:30,438
Put me in the show.

328
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,438
I want to take my rightful place

329
00:14:32,521 --> 00:14:34,938
with the rest of my extended
blue family.

330
00:14:35,021 --> 00:14:37,813
Okay. If that's what you
really want.

331
00:14:38,062 --> 00:14:39,396
[dogs barking]

332
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,396
I can't see a thing.
Where am I?

333
00:14:41,479 --> 00:14:44,479
I think we're right in the
middle of the floor.

334
00:14:44,563 --> 00:14:46,604
[man over PA]
And here they are--

335
00:14:46,688 --> 00:14:48,021
the Scottish Blue Bloodhounds.

336
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:49,271
[Spectators cheer, bagpipes play]

337
00:14:52,771 --> 00:14:57,479
Oh, no!
I'm a wiener dog?!

338
00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:00,521
[growling]

339
00:15:06,563 --> 00:15:08,604
[growling]

340
00:15:11,896 --> 00:15:13,813
What in tarnation is that?!

341
00:15:13,896 --> 00:15:16,813
Oh! Some kind of a horrible mongrel!

342
00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:18,980
He's not one of us, laddies!

343
00:15:19,604 --> 00:15:21,146
Let's get him!

344
00:15:21,229 --> 00:15:22,187
[barking]

345
00:15:23,771 --> 00:15:25,479
Come on, boys... laddies.

346
00:15:25,563 --> 00:15:27,563
We must share some blood, right?

347
00:15:27,646 --> 00:15:29,563
I mean, there's the whole
blue thing.

348
00:15:29,688 --> 00:15:32,938
You're blue... I'm blue.
We're simpatico.

349
00:15:33,021 --> 00:15:34,396
Ooh, boy.

350
00:15:34,479 --> 00:15:40,521
♪ I dream of Jeannie
With the light brown hair ♪

351
00:15:44,146 --> 00:15:44,980
[laughs]

352
00:15:45,604 --> 00:15:46,855
Whoa!

353
00:15:46,938 --> 00:15:49,771
No harm, no foul.

354
00:15:49,855 --> 00:15:52,479
Ha ha ha!

355
00:15:52,563 --> 00:15:56,104
Hey, you are one fun feline.

356
00:15:56,187 --> 00:15:59,104
Hey, Jolly, get off
your furry keister.

357
00:15:59,187 --> 00:16:00,396
Come sing with us.

358
00:16:00,479 --> 00:16:02,855
Your poppy is a hoot
and a half.

359
00:16:02,938 --> 00:16:06,771
Sorry, but I do not engage in
the type of low-brow antics

360
00:16:06,855 --> 00:16:08,104
Mr. Poppy enjoys.

361
00:16:08,187 --> 00:16:09,438
Besides, I'm otherw--

362
00:16:09,521 --> 00:16:10,938
Pretty Boy, Pretty Boy!

363
00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:12,271
Come here, quick--
on the screen.

364
00:16:12,354 --> 00:16:13,271
Look, look, look!

365
00:16:13,354 --> 00:16:14,187
Spot!

366
00:16:15,146 --> 00:16:17,312
[announcer] Boy, is that poor
mutt out of place

367
00:16:17,396 --> 00:16:18,604
in this highborn crowd.

368
00:16:18,688 --> 00:16:19,855
Oh, tsk-tsk-tsk.

369
00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:23,062
Well, I suppose that's what he
gets for putting on airs

370
00:16:23,146 --> 00:16:25,688
and refusing to acknowledge
his real roots.

371
00:16:25,771 --> 00:16:26,604
[lightning crashes]

372
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:30,187
Come on, Jolly,
it's starting to rain.

373
00:16:30,271 --> 00:16:34,021
How about letting your poor
pop in to dry his fur?

374
00:16:34,104 --> 00:16:37,021
I have no father!
I have no father!

375
00:16:41,855 --> 00:16:45,271
Self-awareness is obviously not
this cat's strong suit.

376
00:16:45,354 --> 00:16:47,146
That's quite a disturbance down
on the floor.

377
00:16:47,229 --> 00:16:48,688
So let's take a break.

378
00:16:48,771 --> 00:16:51,688
And then we'll be back for the
"best of show" judging.

379
00:16:51,771 --> 00:16:53,813
Best of show!
Best of show's next!

380
00:16:53,896 --> 00:16:57,187
Oh, boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy!

381
00:16:57,271 --> 00:16:58,104
[lightning crashes]

382
00:16:58,938 --> 00:17:02,563
No! The cable's out!
Oh, cruel fate.

383
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:05,479
You inimical gods
of telecommunications,

384
00:17:05,563 --> 00:17:07,980
what have I done to offend
you so?

385
00:17:08,062 --> 00:17:09,104
My life is ruined!

386
00:17:09,187 --> 00:17:10,021
[crying]

387
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:15,062
Say, Mr. Jolly, I think I can
get your picture back...

388
00:17:15,146 --> 00:17:16,479
If you let me inside.

389
00:17:16,563 --> 00:17:17,396
[crying]

390
00:17:18,021 --> 00:17:19,021
You can?

391
00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:21,438
Well, don't just stand there.
Hurry, hurry!

392
00:17:21,521 --> 00:17:24,062
I'd like to emphasize that
letting you in the house

393
00:17:24,146 --> 00:17:26,813
does not symbolize me letting
you back into my life

394
00:17:26,896 --> 00:17:28,855
and acknowledging my roots.

395
00:17:28,938 --> 00:17:30,604
Whatever you say, son.

396
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:46,646
You're logged on to the dog-show
website, right?

397
00:17:47,604 --> 00:17:52,187
So, we just plug the computer
into the TV monitor...

398
00:17:53,521 --> 00:17:57,104
Pull up the live streaming
webcast and voilà!

399
00:17:57,187 --> 00:17:58,938
[announcer] We're back,

400
00:17:59,021 --> 00:18:02,187
and you absolutely won't
believe what's going on here.

401
00:18:02,271 --> 00:18:04,521
You don't want to miss
a second of this.

402
00:18:06,896 --> 00:18:09,604
[man] Get that mutt out of here!

403
00:18:11,688 --> 00:18:15,563
[woman] He'll infect my poopsie
with his mongrel diseases!

404
00:18:15,646 --> 00:18:19,146
Leonard, where are you?
Help!

405
00:18:19,229 --> 00:18:21,521
Spot! Spot!

406
00:18:23,104 --> 00:18:24,271
[growls]

407
00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:27,312
Here, boy!

408
00:18:27,938 --> 00:18:30,187
Curses! It looks like curtains.

409
00:18:30,271 --> 00:18:33,354
The jig is up.
What horrible clichés.

410
00:18:33,438 --> 00:18:35,146
Is that me talking?

411
00:18:35,229 --> 00:18:37,021
Everybody, stop!!

412
00:18:37,104 --> 00:18:39,604
What are you people doing?

413
00:18:39,688 --> 00:18:41,604
Who? Us?

414
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:42,938
Yeah, you.

415
00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:46,104
I'm totally amazed at how
clueless you all are.

416
00:18:46,187 --> 00:18:47,688
What do you mean, son?

417
00:18:47,771 --> 00:18:50,021
You all say you're dog lovers,
right?

418
00:18:50,104 --> 00:18:51,771
[all] Uh...yeah?

419
00:18:51,855 --> 00:18:54,062
But you're totally missing out
on what a dog is.

420
00:18:54,146 --> 00:18:56,104
You just care about their
breeding

421
00:18:56,187 --> 00:18:59,354
and their purebred papers, how
many trophies they win,

422
00:18:59,354 --> 00:19:01,229
how they can make you look good.

423
00:19:01,312 --> 00:19:03,521
But that's not
what makes a dog great.

424
00:19:03,604 --> 00:19:06,021
What makes a dog great is how loyal he is,

425
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:08,980
the way he can be your absolute
best friend in the world.

426
00:19:09,062 --> 00:19:12,479
Aw, Lenny,
you're killing me here.

427
00:19:12,563 --> 00:19:15,396
All I'm saying is,
for a crowd of dog lovers,

428
00:19:15,479 --> 00:19:18,980
I sure don't feel a whole lot of
love in this room.

429
00:19:19,062 --> 00:19:21,688
Anyway... well, that's all.

430
00:19:21,771 --> 00:19:23,730
[all crying]

431
00:19:36,062 --> 00:19:38,438
Hoover, you're a good dog.

432
00:19:38,521 --> 00:19:41,771
Oh, this dress is history anyway.

433
00:19:41,855 --> 00:19:46,104
You pant all you want to, Leroy.
I love you, boy.

434
00:19:46,187 --> 00:19:51,021
Dude, you totally shed!

435
00:19:51,104 --> 00:19:52,813
Hi ya, Leonard.

436
00:19:52,896 --> 00:19:53,730
Hey, Spot.

437
00:19:54,479 --> 00:19:56,980
Can we go home now?

438
00:19:57,062 --> 00:19:58,604
You bet.

439
00:20:03,271 --> 00:20:05,938
How'd you do that trick
with the television?

440
00:20:06,021 --> 00:20:07,563
Where did a lowlife alley cat

441
00:20:07,646 --> 00:20:10,354
learn such advanced
computer-networking skills?

442
00:20:10,438 --> 00:20:13,312
I've worked with a lot of
discarded PCs

443
00:20:13,396 --> 00:20:15,062
left in alley dumpsters.

444
00:20:15,146 --> 00:20:17,187
So that's where I get my
high-tech acumen.

445
00:20:17,271 --> 00:20:20,479
The Puddinpusses always said
you were a low-down nogoodnik.

446
00:20:20,563 --> 00:20:23,354
Well, now that's not
exactly true.

447
00:20:23,438 --> 00:20:26,229
In fact, I was quite
the socialite.

448
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:29,104
A scion of the Georgia
Whiskervilles, I was.

449
00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:32,187
Whaaa!
Oh, my silver spoons.

450
00:20:32,271 --> 00:20:34,312
You're a Whiskerville?!

451
00:20:34,396 --> 00:20:35,938
Yes, indeed.

452
00:20:36,021 --> 00:20:38,146
But I found the whole purebred scene

453
00:20:38,229 --> 00:20:40,271
to be a very large crock of nonsense.

454
00:20:40,354 --> 00:20:42,229
I insisted on telling those snobs--

455
00:20:42,312 --> 00:20:44,521
including the Puddinpusses,
I'm afraid--

456
00:20:44,604 --> 00:20:47,021
that who you are is more important

457
00:20:47,104 --> 00:20:49,229
than who your pappy was.

458
00:20:49,312 --> 00:20:52,021
Well, they threw me off their
property for my trouble.

459
00:20:52,104 --> 00:20:53,021
I never knew.

460
00:20:53,104 --> 00:20:57,104
Would you stay here forever,
please, please, please?

461
00:20:57,187 --> 00:21:00,771
I'd love to, Jolly, but I'm
a rambling cat.

462
00:21:00,855 --> 00:21:03,813
And now that I'm fed and dry,
for which I thank you kindly,

463
00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:05,855
it's time to be a-ramblin' on.

464
00:21:05,938 --> 00:21:10,479
Don't worry, Jolly, I'll drop back by for
a visit every now and again.

465
00:21:10,563 --> 00:21:11,688
Bye now.

466
00:21:14,604 --> 00:21:17,563
So, you're a Puddinpuss
and a Whiskerville.

467
00:21:17,646 --> 00:21:19,146
You've got some genes.

468
00:21:19,229 --> 00:21:22,646
Oh, who cares?
Didn't you hear what he said?

469
00:21:22,730 --> 00:21:26,062
What kind of cat you are is
more important

470
00:21:26,146 --> 00:21:29,563
than who your completely
wonderful pappy was.

471
00:21:33,312 --> 00:21:35,021
It's nice to be loved, Leonard.

472
00:21:35,104 --> 00:21:37,938
But I still can't believe I'm
not a purebred.

473
00:21:38,021 --> 00:21:40,104
You just don't get it,
do you, Spot?

474
00:21:40,187 --> 00:21:41,688
You're better than them.

475
00:21:41,771 --> 00:21:44,688
You're not just smart like an
Australian Cattle Dog

476
00:21:44,771 --> 00:21:46,396
or brave like a St. Bernard

477
00:21:46,479 --> 00:21:48,396
or a good tracker like a
bloodhound.

478
00:21:48,479 --> 00:21:51,354
You're brave and smart and
a good tracker

479
00:21:51,438 --> 00:21:53,563
and a dozen other things
besides.

480
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:56,896
That's why I love mutts.
You've got it all.

481
00:21:56,980 --> 00:22:00,062
Still, I think I looked
rather dashing in a kilt.

482
00:22:01,646 --> 00:22:04,271
Hey, Mr. Jolly's not watching the show.

483
00:22:04,646 --> 00:22:09,062
[singing off-key]
♪ I dream of Jeannie ♪

484
00:22:09,146 --> 00:22:13,813
♪ With the light brown hair ♪