1 00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:01,463 Of the leash 2 00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:04,082 - 3 00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,127 - 4 00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,828 For a pair of pants 5 00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,207 His favorite pastime 6 00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,581 For the last time 7 00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,287 - 8 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,960 Why can't I be a normal kid like any other? 9 00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,131 Now, doodle bug, listen to mother. 10 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,920 I hate dogs. 11 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,502 I do not wish to be a dog. 12 00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:54,131 Yes! 13 00:01:13,917 --> 00:01:15,827 Rise and shine! Ha ha! 14 00:01:15,917 --> 00:01:19,077 You two bunk buddies, get this room cleaned up. 15 00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:21,630 Ohh! 16 00:01:26,458 --> 00:01:27,378 Ung! 17 00:01:27,458 --> 00:01:28,498 Nnng! 18 00:01:51,542 --> 00:01:53,462 The animals of the Serengeti Plains 19 00:01:53,542 --> 00:01:54,882 are happy to have a place to cool off 20 00:01:54,959 --> 00:01:56,749 on this hot summer day. 21 00:01:56,834 --> 00:01:58,714 All is calm and serene. 22 00:01:58,792 --> 00:02:03,132 That is, until the king of the big cats arrives. 23 00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:05,878 No animal on the planet is more feared 24 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,669 than the male African lion. 25 00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:10,040 I bet you didn't know we were cousins. 26 00:02:10,125 --> 00:02:13,535 A 500-pound eating machine. 27 00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:15,495 That sounds about right. 28 00:02:15,583 --> 00:02:17,293 A fierce predator. 29 00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:18,325 Aaah! 30 00:02:18,458 --> 00:02:20,828 And there, all similarity ends. 31 00:02:20,917 --> 00:02:23,417 And a distant cousin of that cuddly tabby 32 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:24,920 in your living room. 33 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,330 See, Mr. Smarty Pants? 34 00:02:32,583 --> 00:02:34,753 Careful, Leo, you might throw out your back. 35 00:02:34,834 --> 00:02:36,924 You're the one who'd better be careful, 36 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,380 'cause I am just a slightly smaller version 37 00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:41,498 of that killing machine on TV. 38 00:02:41,583 --> 00:02:44,753 Unfortunately, years of domestication and pampering 39 00:02:44,834 --> 00:02:47,794 have rendered today's house cat about as fierce as a butterfly. 40 00:02:47,875 --> 00:02:49,165 Huh? 41 00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:52,210 So dependent on human beings is the modern feline 42 00:02:52,291 --> 00:02:54,671 that if it weren't for the fire department, 43 00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:57,420 our trees would be filled with helpless kitties. 44 00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:59,580 Oh, yeah, that's you all over. 45 00:02:59,667 --> 00:03:01,377 Lies! Lies, all of it! Outrage! 46 00:03:01,458 --> 00:03:04,288 It's slander is what it is! I'll sue, I'll tell you! 47 00:03:04,375 --> 00:03:07,745 They'll rue the day they messed with Mr. J. Jolly Puddinpuss, 48 00:03:07,834 --> 00:03:09,584 I'll tell you that right now. 49 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:12,827 First of all, would the king of the jungle hire an attorney 50 00:03:12,917 --> 00:03:15,127 to gain rights to the watering hole? 51 00:03:15,208 --> 00:03:17,628 And second of all, Mr. J. Jolly Puddinpuss? 52 00:03:17,709 --> 00:03:18,919 Are you kidding me?! 53 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,456 It's a family name, 54 00:03:20,542 --> 00:03:23,332 from the Louisiana Puddinpusses, if you must know. 55 00:03:23,417 --> 00:03:25,377 But you're right about one thing-- 56 00:03:25,458 --> 00:03:28,038 the only way I'm gonna reclaim my catness 57 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,415 is to go out and take it. 58 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:30,750 Now you're talking! 59 00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:33,384 From now on, you will call me Mr. Jolly. 60 00:03:33,458 --> 00:03:35,458 That's what I always call you. 61 00:03:35,542 --> 00:03:37,632 No more Mr. Nice guy for this pussycat! 62 00:03:37,709 --> 00:03:38,959 Right on, baby! 63 00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:42,581 Mr. J. is mad as heck and he's not gonna take it anymore! 64 00:03:42,667 --> 00:03:43,627 I'm a big, bad cat, 65 00:03:43,709 --> 00:03:46,419 and it's high time I started acting like one. 66 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,670 You go, girl! I mean, boy. 67 00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:52,330 Right after I wake up from my little nappy-poo. 68 00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:57,287 As predictable as the sunrise. 69 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,128 Yo, Kareem, how's it going? 70 00:04:11,208 --> 00:04:12,328 Pretty good. 71 00:04:12,417 --> 00:04:14,287 I'm just working on my jump shots. 72 00:04:16,709 --> 00:04:19,079 You might have better luck with that jump shot 73 00:04:19,166 --> 00:04:21,076 if you actually worked a jump into it. 74 00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:22,666 Oh, right. 75 00:04:26,583 --> 00:04:27,963 Call me crazy, 76 00:04:28,041 --> 00:04:30,421 but I'm thinking as long as you're jumping anyway, 77 00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:32,540 why not take the shot while you're up in the air? 78 00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:34,075 Hey, good idea. 79 00:04:36,375 --> 00:04:39,285 I have just one word for you, Leonard-- soccer-- 80 00:04:39,375 --> 00:04:40,535 popular the world over 81 00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:43,415 and totally not reliant on hand-eye coordination. 82 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:44,460 Think about it. 83 00:04:44,542 --> 00:04:47,382 I guess I just wasn't meant to play the sport of kings. 84 00:04:47,458 --> 00:04:48,958 That would be horse racing, 85 00:04:49,041 --> 00:04:51,291 but you should stay away from that, too. 86 00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,825 Hey, you kids wanna play a little deuce on deuce? 87 00:04:53,917 --> 00:04:55,787 No, thanks. We were just leaving. 88 00:04:55,875 --> 00:04:57,915 What my friend meant to say is, 89 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,920 "we were just leaving to try and find a game," 90 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,920 but now a game has found us. We'd love to play. 91 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,250 We can't play them. 92 00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:07,083 That's Max and Miles Torqueson, 93 00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:09,496 the champs of the whole fifth grade. 94 00:05:09,583 --> 00:05:11,793 Exactly, that's why we must play them. 95 00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:13,705 Are you crazy?! Look at them! 96 00:05:13,792 --> 00:05:16,132 They've gotta be, like, 5 feet tall! 97 00:05:16,208 --> 00:05:19,378 And in case you didn't notice, I stink at basketball. 98 00:05:19,458 --> 00:05:20,498 We'll be humiliated! 99 00:05:20,583 --> 00:05:24,293 Yes, but if we beat them, we'll be glorified, lauded, 100 00:05:24,375 --> 00:05:25,575 extolled, even! 101 00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:29,167 Imagine, Leonard, you and me, kings of the playground! 102 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,325 I don't think so. 103 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:35,627 You are such a bring-down! 104 00:05:36,709 --> 00:05:39,459 Look, Leonard, the reason you can't play basketball 105 00:05:39,542 --> 00:05:40,922 isn't because you can't play basketball. 106 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,790 It's because you think too much about playing basketball. 107 00:05:43,875 --> 00:05:45,915 What should I think about, bowling? 108 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,670 No, I think you should think about nothing. 109 00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:50,790 Now, that's something I'm good at. 110 00:05:50,875 --> 00:05:53,495 You missed my point like you missed that basket. 111 00:05:53,583 --> 00:05:56,673 You should play the game without thinking about it. 112 00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:58,670 Just let it happen. Let it flow. 113 00:05:58,750 --> 00:05:59,630 Be the ball. 114 00:05:59,709 --> 00:06:00,959 Huh? 115 00:06:01,041 --> 00:06:04,041 Look, remember how we cleaned up the room this morning? 116 00:06:04,125 --> 00:06:07,035 You didn't think about getting the toys in the closet. 117 00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:08,575 They just went in, right? 118 00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:09,707 Yeah, I guess. 119 00:06:09,792 --> 00:06:12,672 All you have to do is pretend we're cleaning up the room. 120 00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:14,000 The ball is a dirty shirt, 121 00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:16,213 and the basket is the clothes hamper. 122 00:06:16,291 --> 00:06:18,381 Go ahead, try it. 123 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,076 Yes! All right! Yeah! Whoo-hoo! 124 00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:27,576 Let's get it on! 125 00:06:27,667 --> 00:06:30,627 What my friend is trying to say is we're ready to play now. 126 00:06:30,709 --> 00:06:33,669 Okay, winner's out, 21 wins, losers begin, 127 00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:35,080 and that would be you. 128 00:06:35,166 --> 00:06:36,626 That goes without saying. 129 00:06:36,709 --> 00:06:38,919 Remember, no thinking. 130 00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:45,673 Lucky basket. 131 00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:47,880 Come on, Max! Guard the blue kid! 132 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,420 Yah! Get that garbage out of here! 133 00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:57,040 You're...very tall. 134 00:07:01,583 --> 00:07:05,753 The fearsome cat moves through the living room 135 00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:10,584 like a silent menace tracking his unsuspecting quarry. 136 00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:15,037 The unsuspecting rodent is no match for the cunning feline. 137 00:07:16,709 --> 00:07:18,419 Hey, fur ball, what's shaking? 138 00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:20,080 Aaaah! 139 00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:24,705 The winner! 140 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:27,582 Beaten by a fake paper mouse! 141 00:07:27,667 --> 00:07:30,627 My, oh, my, you are one pathetic pussycat. 142 00:07:30,709 --> 00:07:34,249 That, my molting housemate, was a big mistake. 143 00:07:34,333 --> 00:07:37,333 Oh, yeah? Why? You gonna do something? 144 00:07:37,417 --> 00:07:39,957 Oh, yeah, I'm gonna do something. 145 00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:43,421 But not now, 'cause that would be too easy. 146 00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:47,210 I'm gonna show you just how bad this kitty can be. 147 00:07:47,291 --> 00:07:49,921 One of these days, maybe today, maybe tomorrow, 148 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,170 maybe two weeks from next Thursday, 149 00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:54,460 you're gonna turn a corner, and there I'll be. 150 00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:55,792 11 pounds of-- 151 00:07:55,875 --> 00:08:00,665 well, okay, 19 pounds of fur and fury waiting to pounce. 152 00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:02,580 Oh, I'm so scared. 153 00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:05,417 Spread the word! The king of the beasts is back! 154 00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:06,460 Aaaah! 155 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,130 Yes! 156 00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:39,497 Go, Scott! 157 00:08:48,083 --> 00:08:49,503 Come on! Go! 158 00:08:49,583 --> 00:08:51,423 Come on, man! 159 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,790 Great shot! 160 00:08:52,875 --> 00:08:55,455 And that makes it 20 to 19. 161 00:08:55,542 --> 00:08:58,042 Prepare to lose, dudes. 162 00:08:59,417 --> 00:09:00,957 Yeah! All right! 163 00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:14,498 Yes! 164 00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:16,633 That makes it 20 to 20! 165 00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:20,499 Now you can prepare to lose... dudes! 166 00:09:31,417 --> 00:09:33,457 Fifth graders rule! 167 00:09:33,542 --> 00:09:34,712 Yeah! Yeah! 168 00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:36,832 Fifth graders rock! 169 00:09:39,875 --> 00:09:42,785 Wow, we sure had to work hard to beat those fourth graders. 170 00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:44,915 Dude, this is a hollow victory indeed. 171 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,380 Let's not tell Dad. 172 00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:47,458 Right. 173 00:09:47,542 --> 00:09:48,962 Wow, we almost beat 'em! 174 00:09:49,041 --> 00:09:51,291 Who would have thought losing could feel this good? 175 00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:53,205 I gotta admit, it's a new one on me. 176 00:09:53,291 --> 00:09:54,831 You guys were totally awesome. 177 00:09:54,917 --> 00:09:56,327 -Totally. -Awesome. 178 00:09:56,458 --> 00:09:57,498 Hey, thanks, guys! 179 00:09:57,583 --> 00:09:58,923 Oh, man, did you hear that? 180 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,790 Taylor, Tyler, and Trevor said we were awesome. 181 00:10:01,875 --> 00:10:03,955 We were awesome, Leonard, and by the by, 182 00:10:04,041 --> 00:10:06,581 that's exactly why I don't want you feeling bad 183 00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:08,417 about that last pass. 184 00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:10,580 Well, by the by, I don't feel bad about the last pass 185 00:10:10,667 --> 00:10:12,167 'cause it was perfect. 186 00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:14,630 Not to overstate the obvious, 187 00:10:14,709 --> 00:10:16,709 but if the pass had been perfect, 188 00:10:16,792 --> 00:10:19,002 we would now be the 2-on-2 champions 189 00:10:19,083 --> 00:10:21,753 of the fourth and fifth grades, don't you think? 190 00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:23,504 Actually, what I think 191 00:10:23,583 --> 00:10:25,753 is that if the person who was supposed to catch the pass 192 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:28,384 was where he was supposed to be, we would now be 193 00:10:28,458 --> 00:10:30,958 the 2-on-2 champions of the fourth and fifth grades. 194 00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:32,421 Ooh. 195 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:35,920 Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, sad little Leonard-- 196 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,500 so young and yet so very, very wrong. 197 00:10:38,583 --> 00:10:41,503 I'm sure you think the pass was perfect, 198 00:10:41,583 --> 00:10:44,463 but I'm sorry to say you're sadly mistaken. 199 00:10:44,542 --> 00:10:46,922 I don't think the pass was perfect. 200 00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:48,211 It was perfect. 201 00:10:48,291 --> 00:10:49,461 -Was not. -Was too! 202 00:10:49,542 --> 00:10:50,632 And if you weren't being 203 00:10:50,709 --> 00:10:52,419 Mr. Hot-dog showboat fancy pants, 204 00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,960 it wouldn't have been picked off. 205 00:10:54,041 --> 00:10:55,501 Oooh! 206 00:10:55,583 --> 00:10:58,923 Oh, really, Mr. "I can't hit the broad side of a barn 207 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,830 unless I'm in a hypnotic state"! 208 00:11:01,917 --> 00:11:03,377 Well, for your information, 209 00:11:03,458 --> 00:11:06,248 not only was that last pass off the mark, 210 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,883 but it's a miracle I was able to catch 211 00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:10,669 any of your lame-o passes! 212 00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:12,420 Ooh. 213 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:13,710 You take that back! 214 00:11:13,792 --> 00:11:15,632 I can't take back the truth! 215 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:19,629 You wouldn't know the truth if it bit you on the nose! 216 00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:20,825 Fight! 217 00:11:20,917 --> 00:11:22,377 Yeah, fight him! 218 00:11:22,458 --> 00:11:24,918 You're not gonna take that, are you?! 219 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,250 What? Fight? 220 00:11:26,333 --> 00:11:28,003 We're not gonna fight. 221 00:11:28,083 --> 00:11:30,213 Yeah, it's just a stupid basketball game. 222 00:11:30,291 --> 00:11:31,251 Chicken! 223 00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:33,043 Yeah, chicken! 224 00:11:35,083 --> 00:11:36,713 I'm not chicken! 225 00:11:36,792 --> 00:11:38,382 Neither am I. 226 00:11:38,458 --> 00:11:39,498 -Prove it! -Prove it! 227 00:11:39,583 --> 00:11:41,003 -Yeah, prove it! -Yeah! 228 00:11:41,083 --> 00:11:42,503 You heard them-- prove it! 229 00:11:42,583 --> 00:11:45,543 If you're not chicken, then step over this line. 230 00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:49,285 Oh, no, if you're not chicken, then you step over this line. 231 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,785 Fight! Fight! Fight! 232 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,630 Fight! Fight! Fight! 233 00:11:54,709 --> 00:11:57,539 Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 234 00:11:57,625 --> 00:11:58,495 Teacher's coming! 235 00:11:59,709 --> 00:12:02,749 Children, children, what is going on here? 236 00:12:02,834 --> 00:12:03,964 Oh, hi, Mrs. H. 237 00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:07,331 Leonard and I were just demonstrating to the class 238 00:12:07,417 --> 00:12:09,537 the ancient art of Japanese Kabuki. 239 00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:11,495 Well, isn't that wonderful-- 240 00:12:11,583 --> 00:12:15,133 you and my little Lenny-poo using your free time so wisely. 241 00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:17,498 Ha ha ha! But I'm afraid recess is over. 242 00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:19,633 Come on everyone! Back to class! 243 00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,080 After school. 244 00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:25,958 After school. 245 00:12:26,041 --> 00:12:29,421 Oh, gee, um, after school is not good for me. 246 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,380 I'm starting piano lessons. 247 00:12:31,458 --> 00:12:32,498 Yeah, me either. 248 00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:36,583 I'm bidding on a thing with a motor on the, uh, Internet. 249 00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:37,877 To-morr-ow. To-morr-ow. 250 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:42,325 Oh, darn it, tomorrow doesn't really work for me either. 251 00:12:42,417 --> 00:12:44,917 Hey, either you two fight tomorrow after school 252 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,630 or you're both big chickens. 253 00:12:46,709 --> 00:12:49,579 Well, we wouldn't want that, would we? 254 00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,327 Tomorrow it is, then. 255 00:12:51,417 --> 00:12:53,327 Yes, sir, tomorrow it is. 256 00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:11,878 Aaah! 257 00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,829 Mmm... mmm... 258 00:13:13,917 --> 00:13:15,537 Hmm? 259 00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:18,625 What the heck is that darn cat up to? 260 00:13:20,583 --> 00:13:22,713 Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. 261 00:13:22,792 --> 00:13:25,632 Oh, Mr. Jolly? Where are you? 262 00:13:25,709 --> 00:13:26,999 Aaaah! 263 00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:30,083 Get ahold of yourself, man. 264 00:13:30,166 --> 00:13:32,246 This is Mr. Jolly we're talking about. 265 00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,583 He's the same fat, lazy cat he's always been. 266 00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:36,627 You are way too cagey for that kitty. 267 00:13:36,709 --> 00:13:38,579 Hi, there. 268 00:13:40,583 --> 00:13:42,543 Okay, ha ha, very good. You got me. 269 00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:43,575 We're even now, 270 00:13:43,667 --> 00:13:46,167 so let's have everything go back to the way it was. 271 00:13:46,250 --> 00:13:48,420 I don't know what you're talking about. 272 00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:49,580 I was just saying hello. 273 00:13:49,667 --> 00:13:52,827 Now, cut that out! You gotta get it over with! 274 00:13:52,917 --> 00:13:54,537 I can't take the suspense. 275 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:55,915 Talk to the paw. 276 00:13:57,625 --> 00:14:01,455 Oh, you are so mature! 277 00:14:01,542 --> 00:14:02,712 "Oh, you are so mature!" 278 00:14:03,959 --> 00:14:07,329 All right, what's the matter? Come on, talk to Pretty Boy. 279 00:14:07,417 --> 00:14:10,287 There was, um, uh, an incident at school. 280 00:14:10,375 --> 00:14:11,705 It was all his fault! 281 00:14:11,792 --> 00:14:13,502 What kind of an incident? 282 00:14:13,583 --> 00:14:17,383 We sort of have to fight each other, and it was all his fault. 283 00:14:17,458 --> 00:14:19,538 Oh, my goodness, this is terrible! 284 00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:20,995 How did this happen? 285 00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:22,713 We got in a stupid argument. 286 00:14:22,792 --> 00:14:25,542 It was all my fault. I'm sorry, Leonard. 287 00:14:25,625 --> 00:14:27,495 No, it wasn't. It was my fault. 288 00:14:27,583 --> 00:14:30,253 No, it was mine. That pass was perfect. 289 00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:31,753 I knew it! 290 00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:35,464 Anyway, we let ourselves get talked into fighting each other 291 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,042 by a bloodthirsty mob. 292 00:14:37,125 --> 00:14:39,625 I got a bag of birdseed riding on the pooch. 293 00:14:39,709 --> 00:14:42,249 Throw in a new catnip mousey, and you're on! 294 00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:43,633 No! What am I saying? 295 00:14:43,709 --> 00:14:46,629 I'm appalled you would even suggest such a thing. 296 00:14:46,709 --> 00:14:48,629 Nothing good can come of this. 297 00:14:48,709 --> 00:14:52,079 Spot and Leonard, you have to find a way to not fight. 298 00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:54,956 Mr. Jolly's right. We can't fight each other. 299 00:14:55,041 --> 00:14:56,881 I know, but what can we do? 300 00:14:56,959 --> 00:14:58,499 Here's a suggestion-- 301 00:14:58,583 --> 00:15:01,463 put on dresses and start calling yourselves Shirley and Denise. 302 00:15:01,542 --> 00:15:03,422 I've never seen a bigger bunch of wimps! 303 00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:05,920 Maybe one of us could move to another town. 304 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,580 Or we could be absent on alternating days 305 00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:09,957 -for the rest of the year. -I like it! 306 00:15:10,041 --> 00:15:13,251 That's all I can stand. I need to get a dose of macho. 307 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,167 Oh, that's more like it! 308 00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,380 The Universal Wrestling Association, 309 00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:24,577 where men are men and so are women. 310 00:15:24,667 --> 00:15:27,537 Oh, look, Akbar the Mangler versus The Beauty. 311 00:15:27,625 --> 00:15:31,575 The Mangler thinks he can come in here and take my title, 312 00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:34,127 but he is so very, very wrong! 313 00:15:34,208 --> 00:15:37,578 Because I'm a beautiful man, and my beauty represents truth! 314 00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:39,917 And the likes of Akbar the Mangler 315 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,920 will never be able to stand in the radiant light 316 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,420 of my beautiful truth! 317 00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:48,668 Oh, yeah, there's your radiant light of truth, 318 00:15:48,750 --> 00:15:50,250 you long-haired freak. 319 00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:53,543 You see? This is how real men settle their differences. 320 00:15:53,625 --> 00:15:56,625 Oh, please, professional wrestling is so fake 321 00:15:56,709 --> 00:15:58,959 you couldn't sell it in Times Square. 322 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:02,461 The Bolshoi Ballet doesn't rehearse as much as those guys. 323 00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:04,502 Hey, that gives me an idea! 324 00:16:04,583 --> 00:16:07,003 We could fake a fight, just like those guys! 325 00:16:07,083 --> 00:16:08,293 That's a great idea! 326 00:16:08,375 --> 00:16:10,785 But not like those guys. It's too dangerous. 327 00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:13,625 Hundreds of kids are seriously injured every year 328 00:16:13,709 --> 00:16:16,209 trying to imitate professional wrestlers. 329 00:16:16,291 --> 00:16:17,711 Yeah, I guess you're right. 330 00:16:17,792 --> 00:16:20,422 But that doesn't mean we can't fake a fight 331 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,420 in the style of the ancient martial art Shweng Lo. 332 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,250 Shweng Lo? What's that? 333 00:16:25,333 --> 00:16:28,883 -Shweng lo, sweet, cheery cat. - 334 00:16:28,959 --> 00:16:30,959 It's something I just made up. 335 00:16:31,041 --> 00:16:33,581 Hooray! Scott and Leonard aren't gonna fight! 336 00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:34,707 Ah ha ha ha! 337 00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:41,245 I think I'm gonna be sick. 338 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,383 Ready, Leonard? 339 00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:45,168 Here I come! 340 00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:46,500 Ohh! 341 00:17:08,583 --> 00:17:11,673 We need more fake blood on your face. 342 00:17:17,375 --> 00:17:18,625 -Wait! Wait! -Wait! Wait! 343 00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:24,077 Well, Leonard, I think we're ready. 344 00:17:24,166 --> 00:17:25,326 I hope so. 345 00:17:25,417 --> 00:17:27,127 If anyone figures out we're faking, 346 00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:29,458 we'll both have to move to another town. 347 00:17:29,542 --> 00:17:32,332 You guys are gonna do great. I just know it. 348 00:17:32,417 --> 00:17:33,707 So, uh, Mr. Jolly, 349 00:17:33,792 --> 00:17:37,212 can I assume that everything's back to normal between us? 350 00:17:37,291 --> 00:17:40,251 That is to say, we're okay, you and me, right? 351 00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:41,333 Talk to the paw. 352 00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:09,917 Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 353 00:18:11,625 --> 00:18:13,165 Fight! Fight! 354 00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:18,170 Prepare to be destroyed, Leonard, for unbeknownst to you, 355 00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:22,420 I, Scott Leadready II, am a ninth-degree master 356 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:26,290 of the ancient and deadly martial art of-- 357 00:18:28,709 --> 00:18:30,919 Shwen-g-g lo! 358 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,460 Shweng lo! 359 00:18:33,542 --> 00:18:37,582 Then you, too, should prepare to be destroyed, 360 00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:39,667 for I, Leonard Helperman I, 361 00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:44,540 am also a master of the ancient and deadly art of Shweng lo, 362 00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:47,035 level 9.1 363 00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:50,035 Level 9.1! 364 00:18:54,875 --> 00:18:57,245 Fight! Fight! Fight! 365 00:18:57,333 --> 00:18:58,923 Fight! Fight! 366 00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:03,543 Aah! 367 00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:07,997 Ooh! 368 00:19:08,083 --> 00:19:09,133 Come on! Fight him! 369 00:19:09,208 --> 00:19:11,668 The Shweng lo is strong within you, 370 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,540 but is it strong enough to handle this? 371 00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:16,705 Pbht! 372 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,670 Oh, you're good. 373 00:19:21,750 --> 00:19:23,250 You're very good. 374 00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:24,923 And so it begins. 375 00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:35,500 And now prepare to meet your doom! 376 00:19:35,583 --> 00:19:37,043 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 377 00:19:37,125 --> 00:19:38,535 Must... get up! 378 00:19:38,625 --> 00:19:40,035 Can't move! 379 00:19:40,125 --> 00:19:42,075 Legs... won't work! 380 00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:49,537 Ow! 381 00:19:49,625 --> 00:19:51,285 That's not in the script. 382 00:19:51,375 --> 00:19:52,995 Oh, Charlie horse! 383 00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:54,923 Oh, my god! Leonard! 384 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,880 Finish him off! 385 00:19:56,959 --> 00:19:57,919 Finish him off! 386 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,500 Quiet! Can't you see he's hurt? 387 00:19:59,583 --> 00:20:02,213 Don't worry, Leonard, it'll go away in a minute. 388 00:20:02,291 --> 00:20:05,171 You're probably just dehydrated from all the rehearsing. 389 00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:06,170 Rehearsing? 390 00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:07,880 Hey, what's going on? 391 00:20:07,959 --> 00:20:09,459 This fight's a fake! 392 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,502 Fake! Fake! Fake! 393 00:20:11,583 --> 00:20:13,923 All right! Yes, we were faking! 394 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,540 The whole thing was a charade, a ruse, a sham! 395 00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:19,705 I knew they were too chicken to fight. 396 00:20:19,792 --> 00:20:21,332 What a bunch of losers. 397 00:20:24,083 --> 00:20:26,793 You guys are so not cool! 398 00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:28,075 Oh, no. 399 00:20:28,166 --> 00:20:29,206 Wait! 400 00:20:31,041 --> 00:20:33,211 Losers? Chickens? 401 00:20:33,291 --> 00:20:35,421 Fakers? Not cool? 402 00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,830 Talk about the pot calling the kettle a cooking utensil. 403 00:20:38,917 --> 00:20:41,247 Let me tell you people something. 404 00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:42,633 Yes, we're fakers. 405 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:46,539 We faked this whole fight, and rather brilliantly, I must say. 406 00:20:46,625 --> 00:20:48,915 Leonard, your performance was magical. 407 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,830 Gee, really? I, uh-- 408 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:54,537 And, yes, we were cowards, but that's not why we were cowards. 409 00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:57,785 We were cowards because we were afraid not to fight. 410 00:20:57,875 --> 00:21:00,495 We were more afraid of being called chicken 411 00:21:00,583 --> 00:21:03,583 than we were of hurting ourselves and each other, 412 00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:06,627 and for that reason, yes, we are losers, too, 413 00:21:06,709 --> 00:21:10,289 but I swear an oath that from this day forward-- 414 00:21:10,375 --> 00:21:11,995 say it with me, people! 415 00:21:12,083 --> 00:21:17,543 I will not fight, and I will not be afraid to not fight. 416 00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:22,375 I will not fight, and I will not be afraid to not fight. 417 00:21:22,458 --> 00:21:24,578 Louder! Everyone! 418 00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:29,207 I will not fight, and I will not be afraid to not fight! 419 00:21:29,291 --> 00:21:30,581 That's it! 420 00:21:30,667 --> 00:21:32,667 Because fighting is stupid! 421 00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:36,330 That's it! Because fighting is stupid! 422 00:21:36,417 --> 00:21:37,377 Fighting is stupid! 423 00:21:38,542 --> 00:21:40,002 Hello? 424 00:21:40,083 --> 00:21:42,963 Remember me, the kid with the Charlie horse? 425 00:21:50,333 --> 00:21:52,793 I've had enough of this. I'm sorry I mocked you. 426 00:21:52,875 --> 00:21:55,745 There's nothing I can do to take it back, so instead, 427 00:21:55,834 --> 00:21:57,714 I'm gonna lend my manly expertise 428 00:21:57,792 --> 00:21:59,832 and help you reclaim your catness. What do ya say? 429 00:21:59,917 --> 00:22:01,207 Hmm? 430 00:22:01,291 --> 00:22:02,881 No, thank you. 431 00:22:02,959 --> 00:22:05,499 No, thank you? What, are you giving up? 432 00:22:05,583 --> 00:22:07,673 Are you a wimp and a quitter? 433 00:22:07,750 --> 00:22:10,630 The longest journey begins with a single step! 434 00:22:10,709 --> 00:22:13,329 Okay, that's a pretty good first step.