1 00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:01,463 ♪ Born on the wrong end Of the leash ♪ 2 00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:04,082 -♪ He was a dreamer ♪ -♪ And a little schemer ♪ 3 00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:05,786 ♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪ 4 00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,415 ♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪ 5 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,330 ♪ He'd start to drool ♪ 6 00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,127 -♪ One day he says ♪ -♪ I'll take a chance ♪ 7 00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,828 ♪ Trades his leash For a pair of pants ♪ 8 00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,207 ♪ In a glance, school becomes His favorite pastime ♪ 9 00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,581 ♪ I have buried a bone For the last time ♪ 10 00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,287 -♪ He says ♪ -♪ I want to be a boy ♪ 11 00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:19,625 ♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪ 12 00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,129 ♪ He's so over just being rover ♪ 13 00:00:21,208 --> 00:00:22,578 ♪ I gotta be a boy ♪ 14 00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:25,037 ♪ It's so weird ♪ ♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪ 15 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,665 ♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪ 16 00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420 ♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪ 17 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,960 Why can't I be a normal kid like any other? 18 00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,131 Now, doodle bug, listen to mother. 19 00:00:33,208 --> 00:00:34,918 ♪ I want to be a boy ♪ 20 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,920 I hate dogs. 21 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,460 ♪ I gotta be a boy ♪ 22 00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:41,462 ♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪ 23 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,502 I do not wish to be a dog. 24 00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,083 ♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪ 25 00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:47,496 ♪ I got to be a boy ♪ 26 00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:49,083 ♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪ 27 00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206 ♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪ 28 00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:54,131 Yes! 29 00:01:04,667 --> 00:01:07,037 [girl screaming] 30 00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:16,210 [children chattering] 31 00:01:16,291 --> 00:01:18,001 Beep, beep. Make way for the custodian. 32 00:01:18,083 --> 00:01:19,253 What's that, Mr. Dustman? 33 00:01:19,333 --> 00:01:20,383 It's a desk. 34 00:01:20,458 --> 00:01:23,038 They teach you dang kids anything around here? 35 00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:23,955 [thud] 36 00:01:25,583 --> 00:01:27,543 Gee, a new desk! In the second row! 37 00:01:27,625 --> 00:01:30,495 Right across from me! Do you know what that means? 38 00:01:30,583 --> 00:01:33,333 Duh, Scott! It's pretty obvious. 39 00:01:33,417 --> 00:01:38,377 Finally, my hundreds of letters to the state board of education 40 00:01:38,458 --> 00:01:40,208 have been answered. 41 00:01:40,291 --> 00:01:42,461 And they have put in a desk 42 00:01:42,542 --> 00:01:45,832 for my invisible best friend, Noltar! 43 00:01:45,917 --> 00:01:46,747 [laughs] 44 00:01:46,917 --> 00:01:49,167 Go ahead, buddy. Have a seat. 45 00:01:49,250 --> 00:01:50,290 Uh, Ian? 46 00:01:50,375 --> 00:01:52,875 I think the new desk is for a new kid. 47 00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:53,789 [children murmur] 48 00:01:54,667 --> 00:01:55,957 New kid?! 49 00:01:56,041 --> 00:01:57,421 Okay, boys and girls, 50 00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:01,380 I want you all to give a great, big, warm-as-toast welcome 51 00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:03,998 to our brand-new student, Fred Bitters! 52 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:05,503 [all] Hi, Fred! 53 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,133 Hey. 54 00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:08,038 [sighs] 55 00:02:08,375 --> 00:02:10,455 Okay, get up, Noltar. 56 00:02:10,542 --> 00:02:13,582 Come on, you can share my seat. 57 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:17,127 Hey, don't hog the whole thing-- 58 00:02:17,208 --> 00:02:20,378 Ouch! Ha ha! Noltar! 59 00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,500 Welcome to the second row, Fred! 60 00:02:24,583 --> 00:02:26,333 Say, is your name, by any chance, 61 00:02:26,417 --> 00:02:27,457 short for Frederica? 62 00:02:27,542 --> 00:02:30,632 The feminine derivative of the ancient teutonic Appalachian 63 00:02:30,709 --> 00:02:32,379 meaning "peaceful ruler," 64 00:02:32,458 --> 00:02:34,248 coined originally by the Normans 65 00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:36,253 but reintroduced into modern usage 66 00:02:36,333 --> 00:02:38,333 by the Hanoverian rulers of Britain? 67 00:02:38,417 --> 00:02:39,787 Aah... 68 00:02:39,875 --> 00:02:40,785 Chooo! 69 00:02:40,875 --> 00:02:42,625 No, it's just Fred. 70 00:02:42,709 --> 00:02:46,579 Oh! Well, that's a very unusual name for a girl. 71 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,787 And that's a very unusual hat for a freak! 72 00:02:49,875 --> 00:02:51,375 So, class-- class! 73 00:02:51,458 --> 00:02:53,418 Continuing the review of our 74 00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:56,380 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. vocabulary list, 75 00:02:56,458 --> 00:03:00,328 who can tell me what "nonviolent resistance" means? 76 00:03:00,417 --> 00:03:01,627 [Scott] Oh! Oh! 77 00:03:01,709 --> 00:03:02,829 Ohh! I know! 78 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,167 I got it! Pick me! 79 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,750 Pick me, please, please, please, please? 80 00:03:06,834 --> 00:03:08,254 [all] Pick him! Pick him! 81 00:03:08,333 --> 00:03:09,963 Oh, please? Please? Please? Come on! 82 00:03:10,041 --> 00:03:11,381 Well... 83 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:14,788 I think I see Scott's hand up for a change. 84 00:03:14,875 --> 00:03:16,915 Nonviolent resistance-- 85 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:21,580 a philosophy employed by the late, great Dr. King Jr., 86 00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:23,537 whereby in the face of an oppressor, 87 00:03:23,625 --> 00:03:25,785 one does not fight back, but instead, 88 00:03:25,875 --> 00:03:27,785 peacefully opposes the oppression. 89 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:28,745 [deep voice] ♪ We shall not ♪ 90 00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:33,462 ♪ We shall not be moved ♪ 91 00:03:33,542 --> 00:03:37,582 See also Mohandus Mahatma Gandhi, 92 00:03:37,667 --> 00:03:39,537 1869 to 1948. 93 00:03:39,625 --> 00:03:42,075 [as Gandhi] Nonviolence is mightier 94 00:03:42,166 --> 00:03:44,496 than the mightiest weapon of destruction 95 00:03:44,583 --> 00:03:46,633 devised by the ingenuity of man. 96 00:03:46,709 --> 00:03:50,579 [normal voice] Which is, to say, "peace, baby"! 97 00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:55,460 A very... complete answer, Scott. 98 00:03:55,542 --> 00:03:57,832 And I hope the rest of you had your listening ears on, 99 00:03:57,917 --> 00:04:00,417 because it will be on our vocab pretest 100 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:01,500 right after recess. 101 00:04:03,291 --> 00:04:05,001 Psych! Ha ha ha! 102 00:04:05,083 --> 00:04:07,503 The test isn't until tomorrow. 103 00:04:07,583 --> 00:04:08,883 Ha ha! 104 00:04:08,959 --> 00:04:12,039 But I bet now you'll have more fun at recess! 105 00:04:12,125 --> 00:04:13,875 [bell rings] 106 00:04:21,875 --> 00:04:24,455 Man, your teacher really faked us out 107 00:04:24,542 --> 00:04:26,792 about that vocab-test-after-recess thing. 108 00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,325 Ah, yes. 109 00:04:28,417 --> 00:04:31,127 You'll find our Mrs. H. Is quite the merry prankster. 110 00:04:31,208 --> 00:04:34,498 Always ready to inject a little humor into our fourth-grade day. 111 00:04:34,583 --> 00:04:36,503 Yeah? Well, I thought it was stupid! 112 00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:37,543 [all gasp] 113 00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,665 That's my mom you're talking about! 114 00:04:39,750 --> 00:04:42,540 Easy, Leonard! Fred didn't know! She's new! 115 00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:43,955 Maybe at her old school, 116 00:04:44,041 --> 00:04:46,711 they didn't have things like jokes and... fun. 117 00:04:46,792 --> 00:04:48,832 [all] Ooh! 118 00:04:48,917 --> 00:04:51,667 You're gonna be sorry, hat boy! 119 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,130 [all gasp] 120 00:04:55,375 --> 00:04:58,415 Okay, I'm out. You're up, new girl! 121 00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:02,750 Come on, Noltar, let's go find a game of 4-square. 122 00:05:06,667 --> 00:05:08,877 Man, that new girl's kinda scary. 123 00:05:08,959 --> 00:05:10,539 Oh, Leonard, Leonard. 124 00:05:10,625 --> 00:05:13,325 Why must you bipeds always judge each other 125 00:05:13,417 --> 00:05:15,497 based on shallow first impressions? 126 00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:18,173 We of the more sensitive canine species 127 00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:21,750 are much more instinctive when it comes to appraising others. 128 00:05:21,834 --> 00:05:24,794 Fred's not scary. She's just scared. 129 00:05:24,875 --> 00:05:26,495 How do you know that? 130 00:05:26,583 --> 00:05:27,963 I can smell it! 131 00:05:28,041 --> 00:05:29,291 [sniffs] Woof, that's fear, all right! 132 00:05:30,583 --> 00:05:32,833 Often mistaken for boiled cabbage 133 00:05:32,917 --> 00:05:34,167 and/or foot fungus. 134 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,670 Whoa-ho! 135 00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:37,920 Sorry, hat boy. 136 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,420 Guess you got a little too close. 137 00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:41,330 [whistle blows] 138 00:05:42,125 --> 00:05:44,075 Fred! 139 00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:46,326 I don't know what the tetherball rules were 140 00:05:46,417 --> 00:05:47,787 at your old school, 141 00:05:47,875 --> 00:05:49,875 but at Fala D. Roosevelt, we are ever-mindful 142 00:05:49,959 --> 00:05:51,419 of other children's precious heads! 143 00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:55,670 Oh, poor lamby, are you okay? 144 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:59,750 Hmm... that hat boy is dead meat! 145 00:06:02,917 --> 00:06:03,747 [sniffs] Wait a second... 146 00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:06,173 That's not boiled cabbage I smell anymore... 147 00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:07,210 [sniffs] Dirty paint rags... 148 00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:10,497 Grandpa's pajama bottoms... 149 00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:14,713 Uh-oh. Someone's ticked. 150 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:15,632 [girls laughing] 151 00:06:18,333 --> 00:06:20,423 I, like, can't believe how, like, totally, 152 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,040 like, how funny that is! 153 00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:25,375 And it, like, totally looks exactly, like, like him. 154 00:06:25,458 --> 00:06:26,628 Hi, girls! 155 00:06:26,709 --> 00:06:28,919 [all] Hi, Scott. 156 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:29,830 [laughing] 157 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,250 What's so funny? 158 00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:36,423 Nothing in the girl's bathroom! 159 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,500 [laughing] 160 00:06:45,917 --> 00:06:48,037 Dude, I hate when there's something funny 161 00:06:48,125 --> 00:06:50,205 in the girl's bathroom and we can't go in 162 00:06:50,291 --> 00:06:51,131 and see what it is. 163 00:06:51,208 --> 00:06:54,458 Yeah, dude, I hate when there's something funny in the girl's bathroom 164 00:06:54,542 --> 00:06:55,712 and you can't go in. 165 00:06:55,792 --> 00:06:58,422 Oh... You already said that, right? 166 00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,540 I don't know. Maybe. 167 00:07:00,625 --> 00:07:02,575 Say, here's an idea... 168 00:07:02,667 --> 00:07:04,577 Why can't we go in? 169 00:07:04,667 --> 00:07:05,667 [all] Dude! 170 00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:07,880 -What? -Are you kidding me?! 171 00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:09,669 That's the girl's bathroom! 172 00:07:15,083 --> 00:07:17,043 [clears throat] Excuse me. 173 00:07:17,125 --> 00:07:19,825 -Are there any girls inside? -No. 174 00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,957 -Any baths? -No. 175 00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:23,921 Good, then it's just a room, right? 176 00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:26,790 I believe I have semantically deconstructed 177 00:07:26,875 --> 00:07:29,245 all justification to remain out here any longer. 178 00:07:29,333 --> 00:07:31,253 Come on, guys! Let's go! 179 00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:34,920 [all] Whoa! 180 00:07:35,875 --> 00:07:38,245 It's a lot cleaner than ours! 181 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,833 And it smells better! 182 00:07:40,417 --> 00:07:42,917 We shouldn't be here. This is very wrong! 183 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,960 I know, Leonard, but we are on a mission 184 00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:46,211 for the greater good... 185 00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:49,381 To find out what's so darn funny! 186 00:07:49,458 --> 00:07:51,918 [Ian laughing] 187 00:07:52,583 --> 00:07:57,383 Oh, you're right, Noltar! Now this is hilarious! 188 00:07:57,458 --> 00:07:58,498 [laughs] 189 00:07:59,709 --> 00:08:04,329 [choking] Help! I'm choking on my own spit! 190 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,167 -I wanna see! -I wanna see! 191 00:08:07,875 --> 00:08:09,915 [laughing] 192 00:08:10,542 --> 00:08:12,502 Dude, that's, like, a crack-up-- 193 00:08:12,583 --> 00:08:13,423 [coughs] 194 00:08:13,625 --> 00:08:15,955 Now I'm, like, choking on spit! 195 00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:18,211 Ho-ho! This I gotta see! 196 00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:21,996 [gasps] 197 00:08:22,959 --> 00:08:27,459 [Scott] "I'm the teacher's pet. 198 00:08:27,542 --> 00:08:30,132 Bow... wow." 199 00:08:30,208 --> 00:08:32,668 That's not funny! That's just mean! 200 00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:33,630 [snickering] 201 00:08:33,709 --> 00:08:35,999 [laughing] 202 00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:48,375 Oh! Ohh! 203 00:08:48,458 --> 00:08:49,498 [panting] 204 00:08:51,875 --> 00:08:53,455 [all laughing] 205 00:08:58,291 --> 00:08:59,631 [panting] 206 00:09:06,417 --> 00:09:08,957 [all laughing] 207 00:09:15,333 --> 00:09:18,213 Ohh, why are they doing this to me? 208 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,961 I thought they were my friends? 209 00:09:20,041 --> 00:09:21,381 I don't know, pal. 210 00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:23,878 I guess they're just happy she's not picking on them. 211 00:09:23,959 --> 00:09:26,459 That's not a reasonable excuse. 212 00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:28,382 It is for a fourth-grader. 213 00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:29,958 I hear the ice-cream man! 214 00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:31,501 Hey, I'll race you 215 00:09:31,583 --> 00:09:34,253 for a Jawcracker Sticky-Slima Tooty-Fruity Freeza Pop. 216 00:09:34,333 --> 00:09:37,293 You always know just how to cheer me up. 217 00:09:41,458 --> 00:09:43,998 Go ahead! Pick anything you want! 218 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,383 My mom gave me enough money to treat all my new friends 219 00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:47,378 to ice cream! 220 00:09:47,458 --> 00:09:48,288 [cheering] 221 00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:52,883 Suddenly, I don't feel like ice cream. 222 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:54,289 Let's just go home. 223 00:09:54,375 --> 00:09:56,325 But, you love Freeza Pops! 224 00:09:56,417 --> 00:09:57,457 Oh, yes, I do! 225 00:09:57,542 --> 00:09:59,752 But it's not worth the humiliation! 226 00:09:59,834 --> 00:10:01,674 Fred would probably just put one in a metal dish 227 00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:05,960 and feed it to me on the ground like a dog. 228 00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:09,581 Hey! Wait a minute! That gives me an idea! 229 00:10:11,083 --> 00:10:12,673 Arf! Arf! Arf! 230 00:10:12,750 --> 00:10:14,830 All right, I'm ready for 231 00:10:14,917 --> 00:10:18,877 my Jawcracker Sticky-Slima Tooty-Fruity Freeza Pop! 232 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,790 Hey, you're in my class, right? 233 00:10:22,875 --> 00:10:23,995 Is that your doggy? 234 00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:25,213 It's so cool! 235 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,541 I love dogs, and they love me! 236 00:10:27,625 --> 00:10:29,245 [Spot] Grr! 237 00:10:29,333 --> 00:10:33,423 I bet they'd love to sink their pointy canine teeth in your-- 238 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,500 hey! What the-- put me down! 239 00:10:35,583 --> 00:10:38,503 I don't know you! I don't even like-- 240 00:10:38,583 --> 00:10:39,423 [laughs] Oh, that's good! 241 00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:43,580 Oh, this girl has scratched before! 242 00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:44,827 No! Resist! 243 00:10:44,917 --> 00:10:48,417 This is the same person who made your day 244 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:50,540 a horrible, unbearable-- 245 00:10:50,625 --> 00:10:51,455 [laughs] I love her nails! 246 00:10:53,291 --> 00:10:55,171 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 247 00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:58,290 2 Jawcracker Sticky-Slima Tooty-Fruity Freeza Pops. 248 00:10:58,375 --> 00:10:59,705 Sorry, kid. 249 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:02,382 Just sold the last box to that young lady over there. 250 00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:05,628 Is it okay if I feed one to your dog? 251 00:11:05,709 --> 00:11:07,579 You can have one, too! 252 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,827 Well... Gee, thanks. 253 00:11:13,792 --> 00:11:17,422 "Well...gee, thanks," he says... 254 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:20,040 Knowing that she's my life's sworn blood enemy. 255 00:11:20,125 --> 00:11:21,825 He still takes her lousy 256 00:11:21,917 --> 00:11:25,417 Jawcracker Sticky-Alima Tooty-Fruity Freeza Pop! 257 00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:26,920 Whoa! Back up! 258 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,790 Batten down the hatches, matey. 259 00:11:29,875 --> 00:11:32,075 There's a storm a-brewin'. 260 00:11:32,166 --> 00:11:34,496 I thought it was okay for me to have the freeza pop! 261 00:11:34,583 --> 00:11:35,543 You did! 262 00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:38,415 Don't point that finger at me, mister! 263 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,880 I have an excuse! 264 00:11:39,959 --> 00:11:43,379 If you were a dog getting scratched like that, 265 00:11:43,458 --> 00:11:46,878 ohh, you would've lost all sense of reality, too! 266 00:11:46,959 --> 00:11:49,379 'Scusee... 267 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,748 Forgot the catnip mouse. 268 00:11:51,834 --> 00:11:55,174 Besides, you were supposed to be the stronger one! 269 00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:57,630 You were supposed to stand up for me 270 00:11:57,709 --> 00:12:00,709 and resist her wily frozen treat temptations 271 00:12:00,792 --> 00:12:03,712 in the name of loyalty and true friendship! 272 00:12:03,792 --> 00:12:07,382 That's not fair! I am your friend and I always will be! 273 00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:08,998 Yeah, well, friend... 274 00:12:09,083 --> 00:12:14,423 You got a little dab of Freeza Pop right there! 275 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,750 You licked it. 276 00:12:15,834 --> 00:12:18,584 Congratulations, Leonard. 277 00:12:18,667 --> 00:12:22,247 That was the last test, and you failed. 278 00:12:22,333 --> 00:12:23,633 Good day, sir! 279 00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:24,999 But I didn't-- I wouldn't-- 280 00:12:25,083 --> 00:12:27,463 I said good day! 281 00:12:27,542 --> 00:12:29,132 Can we come out now? 282 00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:31,958 This catnip toy stinks to high heaven! 283 00:12:32,041 --> 00:12:34,041 [snoring] 284 00:12:43,083 --> 00:12:44,883 What are you still doing in bed?! 285 00:12:44,959 --> 00:12:46,579 We're gonna be late for school! 286 00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:48,917 I'm a bit under the weather this morning, Leonard. 287 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,460 You'll have to go without me. 288 00:12:50,542 --> 00:12:52,172 Your nose is cold and wet. 289 00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:55,250 Fine! Let's just reduce my entire state of well-being 290 00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:58,083 to the temperature and moisture level of my nose! 291 00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:00,376 Are you staying home because of that new girl? 292 00:13:00,458 --> 00:13:01,458 What girl? 293 00:13:01,542 --> 00:13:04,212 Oh, that's right! The new girl! 294 00:13:04,291 --> 00:13:06,541 I'd completely forgotten her. 295 00:13:06,625 --> 00:13:10,035 No, no, this has nothing to do with that surly, mean-mouth, 296 00:13:10,125 --> 00:13:12,245 picture-drawing, ice cream-bribing, 297 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,333 out-of-control tetherball menace! 298 00:13:14,417 --> 00:13:18,377 My stomach... is just... upset... okay? 299 00:13:18,458 --> 00:13:23,458 It must have been that Freeza Pop she forced on me! 300 00:13:23,542 --> 00:13:25,172 Hmm. That's weird. 301 00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:28,540 'Cause I had one, and I feel just fine. 302 00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:31,285 You would, wouldn't you? 303 00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,535 Oh, come on! Don't start that again! 304 00:13:33,625 --> 00:13:34,995 You know I didn't-- 305 00:13:35,083 --> 00:13:38,293 I hear your mother calling! It's time for you to go! 306 00:13:38,375 --> 00:13:39,285 Good day, sir! 307 00:13:39,375 --> 00:13:42,325 -But-- -I said, good day! 308 00:13:42,417 --> 00:13:45,457 Higher! Higher! 309 00:13:45,542 --> 00:13:47,132 -Higher! -Bid higher! 310 00:13:47,208 --> 00:13:50,128 [woman] I'd like to bid lower, Don. 311 00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:51,538 Oh, for pity's sake! 312 00:13:51,625 --> 00:13:54,625 How much do you think a Hawaiian fantasy dream vacation for 2 313 00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,129 wholesales for, anyway?! 314 00:13:56,208 --> 00:13:57,998 If there's any justice at all, 315 00:13:58,083 --> 00:14:00,423 that would be us up there, not her. 316 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:02,460 You know, getting ready to go for the big bonanza buyout 317 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,292 after these words from our sponsors. 318 00:14:06,291 --> 00:14:07,171 [sighs] 319 00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:09,963 Is this that "Comparison Shopper" game show 320 00:14:10,041 --> 00:14:12,581 you guys are always talking about? 321 00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:14,127 Yeah. School out already? 322 00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:16,958 You know school's not out till after "The Comparison Shopper," 323 00:14:17,041 --> 00:14:18,831 "Circle Of Luck," "Double Dilemma," 324 00:14:18,917 --> 00:14:20,667 "signify that song," all our soaps, 325 00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:23,460 the fat lady talk shows, and afternoon news wrap-up. 326 00:14:23,542 --> 00:14:24,672 What are you doing here? 327 00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:26,670 I didn't go to school today. 328 00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:28,290 I don't feel so good. 329 00:14:28,375 --> 00:14:30,495 Your nose looks cold and wet. 330 00:14:30,583 --> 00:14:33,213 Would everyone stop with that already?! 331 00:14:33,291 --> 00:14:35,001 Dogs are complex creatures! 332 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:37,673 Our nose doesn't tell the whole story. 333 00:14:37,750 --> 00:14:40,210 It's just that you've never missed a day, 334 00:14:40,291 --> 00:14:41,541 especially a Tuesday. 335 00:14:41,625 --> 00:14:44,125 Don't you have your vocab pretest on Tuesday? 336 00:14:44,208 --> 00:14:46,498 Plus P.E. And music right after hot lunch? 337 00:14:46,583 --> 00:14:49,673 Which is turkey-chili nachos, your fave. 338 00:14:49,750 --> 00:14:53,040 Sheesh! You guys sure know a lot about my life! 339 00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:55,325 Well, we have none of our own to speak of... 340 00:14:55,417 --> 00:14:58,037 So we spend our days living vicariously through others, 341 00:14:58,125 --> 00:15:00,495 like you and this dental-hygienist mother of 3 342 00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:01,963 from Fullerheim, California. 343 00:15:02,041 --> 00:15:03,581 No, no, no, no!! 344 00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:05,957 A ski boat does not go for more than a trip to Hawaii! 345 00:15:06,041 --> 00:15:07,421 You know nothing about 346 00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:10,380 manufacturer's discounted wholesale price! 347 00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:11,288 Humans... [chuckles] 348 00:15:12,083 --> 00:15:13,003 You were saying? 349 00:15:13,083 --> 00:15:14,583 Oh, nothing, really... 350 00:15:14,667 --> 00:15:16,667 Just that I'm giving it all up... 351 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:19,540 The pretests and P.E., music, and nachos. 352 00:15:19,625 --> 00:15:21,165 -What?! -You heard me! 353 00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:23,420 I'm not going to school anymore. 354 00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:25,380 It's no fun for me there. 355 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:28,458 I'd rather just stay here at home and be a dog. 356 00:15:28,542 --> 00:15:30,832 -Wow. -Wow. 357 00:15:30,917 --> 00:15:32,627 [both] Higher, higher! 358 00:15:40,917 --> 00:15:42,707 Participle, participle! 359 00:15:42,792 --> 00:15:45,042 Purchase a participle, dummy! 360 00:15:45,125 --> 00:15:46,665 Don't ask the audience! 361 00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:48,540 They don't know bubkes! 362 00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:49,455 [sighs] 363 00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:54,500 Chopin's "Polonaise Number 1, Opus 26," 364 00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:56,173 you tin-eared-- 365 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:02,463 oh, my heavens... What have I become? 366 00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:04,042 [bell rings] 367 00:16:06,917 --> 00:16:09,497 Hey, Leonard, where's your pal hat boy? 368 00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:11,333 If you're talking about Scott, 369 00:16:11,417 --> 00:16:14,457 he didn't feel well, so he stayed home today. 370 00:16:14,542 --> 00:16:17,252 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 371 00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:18,583 -Really? -Psych! 372 00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:19,787 Ha ha! 373 00:16:19,875 --> 00:16:22,575 Learned that yesterday from your mom. 374 00:16:22,667 --> 00:16:24,417 I can't believe teacher's pet would ruin 375 00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:29,460 his perfect attendance record, even if he was dying! 376 00:16:29,542 --> 00:16:30,382 [as Scott] Oh, teacher! 377 00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:32,630 [panting] Please give me my vocab pretest! 378 00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:35,625 Give me some gum and scratch behind my ears! 379 00:16:35,709 --> 00:16:36,539 [all laughing] 380 00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:39,455 [laughing] 381 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:44,423 You should have your own show! 382 00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:48,330 Well, I thought it was funny, Noltar! 383 00:16:48,417 --> 00:16:50,207 Maybe you didn't know this, Fred, 384 00:16:50,291 --> 00:16:52,581 but that's my best friend you're making fun of, 385 00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:54,667 and you better cut it out right now! 386 00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:58,250 And if I don't, what are you gonna do, huh, 387 00:16:58,333 --> 00:16:59,543 teacher's kid? 388 00:16:59,625 --> 00:17:00,455 [gasps] 389 00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:02,923 [wind blows] 390 00:17:09,083 --> 00:17:09,923 [door opens, closes] 391 00:17:10,542 --> 00:17:12,382 What are you doing here? 392 00:17:12,458 --> 00:17:14,578 I started not feeling so good at school. 393 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,827 Guess I caught the same bug you have. 394 00:17:16,917 --> 00:17:19,667 Yeah. Well, I hear there's a lot of that going around. 395 00:17:19,750 --> 00:17:22,630 At least we can hang out together until it goes away. 396 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,879 If it ever goes away. 397 00:17:25,959 --> 00:17:28,629 Great! Now there's 2 of them messing up our tube time! 398 00:17:28,709 --> 00:17:30,879 And coming up is a very special one-hour 399 00:17:30,959 --> 00:17:32,459 "Love, Sweat, And Tears"... 400 00:17:32,542 --> 00:17:34,332 The wedding of Rider and Clarissa. 401 00:17:34,417 --> 00:17:36,127 That's it, you have to go back to school 402 00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:37,418 so pretty boy and I can return 403 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,420 to living other people's lives in peace. 404 00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:42,500 I can't go back, Jolly! You don't know this girl! 405 00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:44,713 She won't stop her wretched torment 406 00:17:44,792 --> 00:17:47,502 'til I've drowned in a hot, salty puddle 407 00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:49,003 of my own tears of shame. 408 00:17:49,083 --> 00:17:51,253 Spot Helperman, listen to yourself! 409 00:17:51,333 --> 00:17:53,383 You think you're the first person 410 00:17:53,458 --> 00:17:55,708 who ever had a bully walk into its life? 411 00:17:55,792 --> 00:17:59,582 I had a bully of my own once upon a time and long ago. 412 00:17:59,667 --> 00:18:04,377 I remember how awful it was to be taunted and teased... 413 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:07,378 Made to feel like a worthless bag of garbage. 414 00:18:07,458 --> 00:18:09,788 But then, one day, I stood up and said, 415 00:18:09,875 --> 00:18:12,325 "No! Dash it all! This isn't about me! 416 00:18:12,417 --> 00:18:15,627 "This is about someone else's fear and insecurity 417 00:18:15,709 --> 00:18:18,539 imasquerading as hostility and bitter bile." 418 00:18:18,625 --> 00:18:19,995 After that, 419 00:18:20,083 --> 00:18:22,423 I didn't see my bully as a bully anymore, 420 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,920 but rather a frightened, fragile soul, 421 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,380 struggling to survive, just like me, 422 00:18:27,458 --> 00:18:29,208 in this big, scary world. 423 00:18:29,291 --> 00:18:32,751 So, once I recognized how alike we were inside, 424 00:18:32,834 --> 00:18:34,384 a bond began to form, 425 00:18:34,458 --> 00:18:37,458 and today, that bully is my best friend. 426 00:18:37,542 --> 00:18:39,382 [Pretty Boy] Who's that? 427 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:43,580 You, ya silly! 428 00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:45,377 What?! Wait a minute! 429 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,498 That big, long, stupid story was about me?! 430 00:18:48,583 --> 00:18:53,883 How dare you call me a bully, you worthless bag of garbage! 431 00:18:53,959 --> 00:18:59,419 Oh, oh, someone must have hurt you real bad some time. 432 00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:02,580 [Pretty Boy] I'll hurt you! I'll send you to the moon! 433 00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:04,917 I'll help you heal the wound, baby! 434 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,790 I love you for who you are! 435 00:19:06,875 --> 00:19:10,495 I guess if a scaredy-cat like Mr. Jolly 436 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,923 can face up to his bully, 437 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,420 Scott Leadready can, too! 438 00:19:17,834 --> 00:19:19,504 And I'll be right behind you! 439 00:19:19,583 --> 00:19:21,383 Uh, I mean, unless you want me in front. 440 00:19:21,458 --> 00:19:22,708 Thanks, pal. 441 00:19:22,792 --> 00:19:26,292 And, uh...Sorry about all the "good day, sir's." 442 00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:28,205 That's okay. 443 00:19:28,291 --> 00:19:29,831 [hip-hop music] ♪ Gotta be strong, gotta be cool ♪ 444 00:19:30,959 --> 00:19:33,249 ♪ I have the right to go to school ♪ 445 00:19:33,333 --> 00:19:35,383 ♪ I'm calm and collected And clear in my head ♪ 446 00:19:35,458 --> 00:19:37,538 ♪ I'd rather be dead Than afraid of Fred-- ♪ 447 00:19:37,625 --> 00:19:38,625 -Aaaah! -Aaaah! 448 00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:42,043 [whimpering] 449 00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:45,790 What are you doing?! 450 00:19:45,875 --> 00:19:47,785 I thought you were gonna stand up to her! 451 00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:51,745 -You stand up to her! I'm scared! -So am I. 452 00:19:51,834 --> 00:19:53,464 Let's just be real quiet 453 00:19:53,542 --> 00:19:55,712 so she'll just go by and not notice us. 454 00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:56,712 Good idea. 455 00:19:56,792 --> 00:19:58,462 [Fred] Hey, it's you! 456 00:19:58,542 --> 00:19:59,582 -Oh, no! -Oh, no! 457 00:19:59,667 --> 00:20:01,877 I'd recognize that cute tail anywhere! 458 00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:03,126 Come here, Spot! 459 00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:04,710 [sighs] 460 00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:08,495 Come here, good boy! 461 00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:10,543 Hey, fella, you all alone too? 462 00:20:10,625 --> 00:20:13,535 I ditched out of class as soon as that bell rang 463 00:20:13,625 --> 00:20:14,575 'cause everyone else was hanging around 464 00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:16,667 making their stupid get-well cards 465 00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:19,210 for hat boy and the teacher's kid. 466 00:20:21,709 --> 00:20:22,749 [sighs] Oh. 467 00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:25,747 Must be nice to have everyone care if you're sick. 468 00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:28,500 Wish I had friends like that. 469 00:20:28,583 --> 00:20:31,133 I bet no one in this whole stupid school 470 00:20:31,208 --> 00:20:33,168 would even notice if I wasn't here. 471 00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:37,504 -I'd notice. -Huh?! Teacher's kid? 472 00:20:37,583 --> 00:20:38,423 [zipper zips] 473 00:20:38,959 --> 00:20:41,209 I'd notice too, Fred. 474 00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:44,421 Teacher's pet?! What are you doin' here? 475 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,630 Were you guys spyin' on me?! 476 00:20:46,709 --> 00:20:48,829 No, we were just standing behind the statue 477 00:20:48,917 --> 00:20:50,667 and you were talking really loud. 478 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:51,630 [growls] 479 00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:52,959 But the point is, Fred... 480 00:20:53,041 --> 00:20:54,631 If you want to get noticed, 481 00:20:54,709 --> 00:20:57,209 it shouldn't be at someone else's expense. 482 00:20:57,291 --> 00:20:59,961 Making me look bad doesn't make you look better. 483 00:21:00,041 --> 00:21:01,921 You don't have to call people names. 484 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,420 Or draw pictures. 485 00:21:03,542 --> 00:21:07,252 Or even buy them Jawcracker Sticky -Alima Tooty-Fruity Freeza Pops. 486 00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:08,753 If you want to make friends... 487 00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:11,504 ...you just have to be a friend. 488 00:21:11,583 --> 00:21:12,673 Really? 489 00:21:12,750 --> 00:21:15,130 You mean even though my dad's stupid job 490 00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:16,538 makes us move all the time, 491 00:21:16,625 --> 00:21:21,665 and I never spend longer than a year at any stupid school... 492 00:21:21,750 --> 00:21:25,540 And I always wind up getting into stupid trouble 493 00:21:25,625 --> 00:21:28,575 and no one ever likes me anyway... 494 00:21:28,667 --> 00:21:31,167 [all] Aaaah! 495 00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,920 All I have to do is... Be a friend 496 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,460 and everything will be okay? 497 00:21:36,542 --> 00:21:38,502 Yup. And tell you what... 498 00:21:38,583 --> 00:21:42,543 To get you started, we'll be your first 2 friends! 499 00:21:45,083 --> 00:21:46,793 [sighs] 500 00:21:50,166 --> 00:21:52,456 My 2 new friends are the teacher's pet 501 00:21:52,834 --> 00:21:54,294 and the teacher's kid? 502 00:21:55,458 --> 00:21:57,288 Aaaaaah! 503 00:21:59,208 --> 00:22:01,708 Aaaaaaaah! 504 00:22:02,125 --> 00:22:03,535 It's a beginning. 505 00:22:06,834 --> 00:22:09,084 Uh, you can be friends with us, 506 00:22:09,166 --> 00:22:10,666 right, Noltar?