1 00:00:00,041 --> 00:00:01,461 ♪ Born on the wrong end Of the leash ♪ 2 00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:04,082 -♪ He was a dreamer ♪ -♪ And a little schemer ♪ 3 00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:05,786 ♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪ 4 00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,415 ♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪ 5 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,330 ♪ He'd start to drool ♪ 6 00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,127 -♪ One day he says ♪ -♪ I'll take a chance ♪ 7 00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,828 ♪ Trades his leash For a pair of pants ♪ 8 00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,207 ♪ In a glance, school becomes His favorite pastime ♪ 9 00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,581 ♪ I have buried a bone For the last time ♪ 10 00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,287 -♪ He says ♪ -♪ I want to be a boy ♪ 11 00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:19,625 ♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪ 12 00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,129 ♪ He's so over just being rover ♪ 13 00:00:21,208 --> 00:00:22,578 ♪ I gotta be a boy ♪ 14 00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:23,577 ♪ It's so weird ♪ 15 00:00:23,667 --> 00:00:25,037 ♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪ 16 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,665 ♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪ 17 00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420 ♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪ 18 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,960 Why can't I be a normal kid like any other? 19 00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,131 Now, doodle bug, listen to mother. 20 00:00:33,208 --> 00:00:34,918 ♪ I want to be a boy ♪ 21 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,920 I hate dogs. 22 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,460 ♪ I gotta be a boy ♪ 23 00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:41,462 ♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪ 24 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,502 I do not wish to be a dog. 25 00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:45,503 ♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪ 26 00:00:45,583 --> 00:00:47,503 ♪ I got to be a boy ♪ 27 00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:49,083 ♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪ 28 00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206 ♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪ 29 00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:53,171 Yes! 30 00:00:57,792 --> 00:01:01,422 [Sousa's "Liberty Bell March" plays] 31 00:01:06,542 --> 00:01:07,582 [sneezes] 32 00:01:14,250 --> 00:01:15,920 [man on PA] Hey, there, Cheapco customers-- 33 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,500 50-pound bags of frozen fish livers are now on sale 34 00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:20,213 in aisle 50. 35 00:01:21,917 --> 00:01:22,747 [grunting] 36 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,330 You know, while I get this, would you be a couple sweeties 37 00:01:27,417 --> 00:01:28,537 and get me some paper towels? 38 00:01:28,625 --> 00:01:30,205 Sure. Come on, Scott. 39 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:35,325 Except... I have no idea where it is. 40 00:01:36,375 --> 00:01:39,165 The nose knows! Follow me. 41 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,460 [sniffs] 42 00:01:43,375 --> 00:01:45,285 [humming] 43 00:01:47,625 --> 00:01:50,495 Hey! [muttering] 44 00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:56,080 Voilà! 45 00:01:56,166 --> 00:01:58,826 Never underestimate the power of the nose. 46 00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:00,330 You're good. 47 00:02:00,417 --> 00:02:02,877 Good? I'm fantastic! 48 00:02:02,959 --> 00:02:06,249 A dog's sense of smell is 40 times more acute than a human's. 49 00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:08,543 We are the elephants of the olfactory world. 50 00:02:08,625 --> 00:02:10,375 We never forget a smell. 51 00:02:11,208 --> 00:02:13,328 I don't know where this "old factory" world is, 52 00:02:13,417 --> 00:02:16,167 but being the elephant of anything can't be good. 53 00:02:21,667 --> 00:02:23,377 Oh, my gosh, oh, golly. Look at the time. 54 00:02:23,458 --> 00:02:25,628 Leonard, sweetie, open a can of dog food for Spot. 55 00:02:25,709 --> 00:02:27,419 I don't see any dog food. 56 00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,460 It's in the pantry next to the kippers 57 00:02:29,542 --> 00:02:31,422 and behind the jalapeño-stuffed olives. 58 00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:38,423 [grunts] 59 00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:41,497 Aah! Oh! 60 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,130 Ah! 61 00:02:49,583 --> 00:02:52,383 Wh-oh-oh-oa! 62 00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:10,383 Mmm... new flavor! 63 00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:12,628 Is there anything more stomach turning 64 00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:14,289 than watching a dog eat? 65 00:03:14,375 --> 00:03:17,375 Oh, I don't know. 66 00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:20,578 Perhaps watching a bird peck at his wing pits. 67 00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:23,707 Well, excuse me, but I'd rather be a pit-pecker 68 00:03:23,792 --> 00:03:25,542 than a leg-licker. 69 00:03:25,625 --> 00:03:27,955 Well, I'd rather lick my leg clean 70 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,131 than wash it in the same filthy water I'm gonna drink. 71 00:03:30,208 --> 00:03:32,538 Hey, when did this get personal? 72 00:03:32,625 --> 00:03:34,285 I thought we were talking about the mutt. 73 00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:39,827 Oh, yeah, you're right. Dog habits are so vile. 74 00:03:39,917 --> 00:03:43,037 Great horny toads! I'm gonna be late for school. 75 00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:50,630 [door closes] 76 00:03:50,917 --> 00:03:52,247 Revolting! 77 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,583 Positively nauseating. 78 00:03:59,333 --> 00:04:03,463 [Spot] Ah, lunch-- my favorite meal of the day! 79 00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:06,205 [rumbling] 80 00:04:07,583 --> 00:04:09,543 Ew! What is this? 81 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,245 That's uh... It's Thursday surprise. 82 00:04:12,333 --> 00:04:13,883 "Thursday surprise-- 83 00:04:13,959 --> 00:04:17,419 government-approved cafeteria food feeds 200. 84 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:21,130 Warning-- avoid contact with eyes or skin." 85 00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:24,665 [rumbling] 86 00:04:27,458 --> 00:04:28,288 [sniffs] 87 00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:33,127 Hmm... this smells familiar. 88 00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:34,498 Let's see. 89 00:04:34,583 --> 00:04:39,583 Strong, hearty aroma... hint of sage, touch of barley. 90 00:04:40,875 --> 00:04:42,665 Yes! Got it! 91 00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:46,080 Hey, Leonard, you want to hear something funny? 92 00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:48,916 This is the exact same thing you fed me this morning. 93 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,080 -You don't mean... -I do mean. 94 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:54,076 Thursday surprise is dog food! 95 00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:55,998 What? Dog food? 96 00:04:56,083 --> 00:04:58,043 Thursday surprise is dog food? 97 00:04:58,125 --> 00:05:01,125 Ew! Dog food? That's gross! 98 00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:03,128 They're feeding us dog food! 99 00:05:03,208 --> 00:05:07,828 [all] Heck, no! Dog food's gotta go! 100 00:05:07,917 --> 00:05:10,667 Heck, no! Dog food's gotta go! 101 00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:12,750 Wow! Look what you've started. 102 00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:15,174 [laughs] How about tha-- 103 00:05:16,959 --> 00:05:19,709 what did you say about my Thursday cuisine? 104 00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:22,212 Please, sir, I want some more? 105 00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:25,081 Did you say it tasted like dog food?! 106 00:05:25,166 --> 00:05:27,206 -No, ma'am. -Good. 107 00:05:28,709 --> 00:05:30,169 I said it is dog food. 108 00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:31,080 [gasps] 109 00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:34,380 Well, then, you just earned yourself a trip 110 00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:35,288 to the principal's office! 111 00:05:35,375 --> 00:05:38,415 I-I didn't say it was bad dog food! 112 00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:44,331 Since the dawn of man, Mr. Leadready, 113 00:05:44,417 --> 00:05:47,167 children have complained about cafeteria food. 114 00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,460 [Sousa's "Liberty Bell March" plays] 115 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,753 Ew! 116 00:05:51,792 --> 00:05:55,922 But never in the history of East Westland Elementary School 117 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,540 has anyone ever had the audacity to say 118 00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:02,125 that our federally approved, 119 00:06:02,208 --> 00:06:06,458 nutritionally balanced comestibles are... dog food! 120 00:06:06,542 --> 00:06:08,792 We would never, ever do such a thing. 121 00:06:08,875 --> 00:06:11,955 But, Principal Strickler-- sir, your honor, it's true. 122 00:06:12,041 --> 00:06:13,291 It is dog food. 123 00:06:13,375 --> 00:06:15,495 How do you know it's dog food, Mr. Leadready? 124 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,383 Have you ever tasted dog food? 125 00:06:17,458 --> 00:06:19,458 I refuse to answer on the grounds 126 00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:21,542 that you might kick me out of school, 127 00:06:21,625 --> 00:06:24,325 and I'll miss this afternoon's spelling test, 128 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:27,167 for which I've already memorized the bonus words. 129 00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:31,170 Then I order you to appear before the special school board 130 00:06:31,250 --> 00:06:34,290 and community assembly I am assembling as we speak. 131 00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:37,995 Me? Assemble? In front of an assembly? 132 00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:42,923 Yes, either prove our school cafeteria served dog food, 133 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:47,210 or there will be no spelling bee for you ever! 134 00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:48,463 [whimpers, gulps] 135 00:06:50,458 --> 00:06:52,538 [dogs barking] 136 00:06:54,959 --> 00:06:56,329 What to do... what to do! 137 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:59,207 The special assembly's going to start in half an hour. 138 00:06:59,291 --> 00:07:01,501 There's got to be a way to prove I'm right 139 00:07:01,583 --> 00:07:03,713 without exposing my secret identity. 140 00:07:03,792 --> 00:07:05,332 Think, man, think! 141 00:07:05,417 --> 00:07:07,827 Wait! I got it! 142 00:07:07,917 --> 00:07:11,377 Cover for me at the assembly. I'll be back as fast as I can. 143 00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:13,918 Cover for him at the assembly? 144 00:07:17,917 --> 00:07:20,377 Great Caesar's ghost! 145 00:07:20,458 --> 00:07:22,498 It's empty. Where's the trash? 146 00:07:22,583 --> 00:07:24,503 The trash? Don't look at me. 147 00:07:24,583 --> 00:07:27,043 I haven't touched trash in years, 148 00:07:27,125 --> 00:07:30,125 though it does bring back fond memories. 149 00:07:30,208 --> 00:07:31,578 Ahh... good times. 150 00:07:31,667 --> 00:07:33,377 It's Thursday, dummy. 151 00:07:33,458 --> 00:07:34,538 I know it's Thursday 152 00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:37,375 because they serve dog food in the cafeteria, 153 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,078 but where's the trash?! 154 00:07:42,333 --> 00:07:45,583 Sweet mother of recyclables! There goes my evidence. 155 00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:48,417 I think the strain of living a double life 156 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,130 is finally getting to him. 157 00:07:57,875 --> 00:08:00,825 Oh, why couldn't I have been born a greyhound? 158 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,670 [tires screech] 159 00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:07,293 [sniffs] 160 00:08:07,375 --> 00:08:09,665 Thank you! 161 00:08:13,709 --> 00:08:18,629 And then the rope says, "I'm a frayed knot." 162 00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:21,131 [laughs nervously] 163 00:08:22,542 --> 00:08:24,962 Get it? "A frayed knot"? 164 00:08:25,041 --> 00:08:26,881 Is this thing on? 165 00:08:26,959 --> 00:08:30,249 That's enough, Mr. Helperman. 166 00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:32,753 You wasted enough of our time. 167 00:08:32,834 --> 00:08:34,084 It's obvious that Scott Leadready II 168 00:08:34,166 --> 00:08:37,376 has no proof that our cafeteria serves dog food, 169 00:08:37,458 --> 00:08:39,668 and he has obviously skipped town. 170 00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:43,420 So as punishment for aiding and abetting his vicious lies, 171 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:46,040 you will suffer the same punishment 172 00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,665 I've prepared for him. 173 00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:50,420 -[all gasp] -My poor baby! 174 00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:55,920 Stop this inquisition! 175 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,460 I've got my proof! 176 00:08:57,542 --> 00:09:00,632 This can was used to feed Leonard's dog this morning. 177 00:09:00,709 --> 00:09:03,789 Its contents are identical to what is in this can 178 00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:05,325 of Thursday surprise. 179 00:09:05,417 --> 00:09:06,247 [all shouting] 180 00:09:07,583 --> 00:09:08,753 Silence! 181 00:09:08,834 --> 00:09:11,424 You forget that I worked as a supermarket stock boy 182 00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,420 during the last teachers' strike. 183 00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:17,080 I can read bar codes. 184 00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:19,286 Aha! This isn't dog food! 185 00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:23,575 It's corned-beef hash, also known as Thursday surprise. 186 00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:27,377 All this proves is that Leonard Helperman 187 00:09:27,458 --> 00:09:29,708 feeds his dog corned-beef hash. 188 00:09:29,792 --> 00:09:30,882 Huh? 189 00:09:30,959 --> 00:09:31,959 Oopsy. 190 00:09:32,041 --> 00:09:34,211 Leonard Amadeus Helperman, 191 00:09:34,291 --> 00:09:36,961 you fed Spot our good corned-beef hash? 192 00:09:37,041 --> 00:09:38,041 I did? 193 00:09:38,125 --> 00:09:40,875 -You did? -How? Unless... 194 00:09:42,458 --> 00:09:45,458 Wh-oh-oh-oh-oa! 195 00:09:45,542 --> 00:09:48,882 I guess I grabbed the wrong can by mistake. 196 00:09:48,959 --> 00:09:51,129 [laughs nervously] My bad. 197 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:52,825 No, Scott's bad. 198 00:09:52,917 --> 00:09:54,537 And now he must pay the price 199 00:09:54,625 --> 00:09:57,075 for slandering our Thursday surprise. 200 00:09:57,166 --> 00:09:58,746 Wait! Don't punish Scott 201 00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:01,044 for standing up for what he thought was right. 202 00:10:01,125 --> 00:10:03,875 He was brave. He was courageous. 203 00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:05,628 Okay, he was wrong 204 00:10:05,709 --> 00:10:07,579 about Thursday surprise being dog food, 205 00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:09,037 but he was right 206 00:10:09,125 --> 00:10:11,325 about it being the same thing I fed my dog Spot this morning. 207 00:10:11,417 --> 00:10:12,457 And, if I might interrupt, 208 00:10:12,542 --> 00:10:15,632 a handsomer, smarter pooch you've never seen. 209 00:10:15,709 --> 00:10:17,079 I'll take it from here. 210 00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:20,376 Nay, good people, mine was a sin of arrogance, 211 00:10:20,458 --> 00:10:24,418 of jumping to a conclusion before I had conclusive proof. 212 00:10:24,959 --> 00:10:26,999 I guess all I'm trying to say is 213 00:10:27,083 --> 00:10:30,333 I'm sorry for besmirching Clancy's cuisine 214 00:10:30,375 --> 00:10:33,495 and for any undue grief I have caused the faculty 215 00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:36,423 of Fala D. Roosevelt Elementary School. 216 00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:38,580 Very impressive, Mr. Leadready, 217 00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:40,377 but you're still gonna have to pay 218 00:10:40,458 --> 00:10:42,498 for your irresponsible actions. 219 00:10:42,583 --> 00:10:43,423 I understand, sir, 220 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:46,250 and I'm ready to accept my punishment like a man. 221 00:10:46,333 --> 00:10:47,883 I mean... dog. I mean, boy! 222 00:10:47,959 --> 00:10:50,539 Very well, then. Clancy? 223 00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:55,750 [gulps] 224 00:10:59,041 --> 00:11:03,041 And so, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, 225 00:11:03,125 --> 00:11:07,075 in order to prove to you that our fine, upstanding, 226 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,166 federally funded and parent-donation assisted 227 00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:13,130 school cafeteria does not serve dog food on Thursdays, 228 00:11:13,208 --> 00:11:16,748 Scott Leadready II will now eat a giant bowl 229 00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:19,174 full of Thursday surprise. 230 00:11:20,959 --> 00:11:24,669 And you'd better make it look like you enjoy it. 231 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,170 Yes, sir! 232 00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:32,503 Heh-heh! All this, and I still get to go to school. 233 00:11:32,583 --> 00:11:33,633 [belches] 234 00:11:36,583 --> 00:11:39,003 ["Alouette" plays] 235 00:11:45,458 --> 00:11:46,918 [boy laughs] Oui, oui! 236 00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:53,916 [man] A symbiotic relationship 237 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:57,170 is one where two organisms benefit or enrich 238 00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:00,540 each other's existence, like bees and flowers. 239 00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:06,380 The opposite of a symbiotic relationship 240 00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:09,538 is a parasitic relationship, where one organism survives 241 00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:13,875 by feeding off the body of another, like fleas and dogs. 242 00:12:13,959 --> 00:12:18,579 How can they show this stuff to kids? 243 00:12:18,667 --> 00:12:21,417 At least fleas stay with you all the time. 244 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:25,380 Since my invisible friend Notar left, I've got nobody. 245 00:12:25,458 --> 00:12:29,998 Notar, why did you have to leave?! 246 00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:37,960 So do you think you and me have a symbiotic relationship? 247 00:12:38,041 --> 00:12:41,041 It's "you and I," and yes, I do. 248 00:12:41,125 --> 00:12:44,285 You feed me, clothe me, and provide me with shelter. 249 00:12:44,375 --> 00:12:46,825 And I guard your house, shower you with affection, 250 00:12:46,917 --> 00:12:47,997 and correct your grammar. 251 00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:50,423 A mutually beneficial relationship 252 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:53,670 between two disparate organisms if ever there was one. 253 00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:55,580 I guess we're a pretty good match. 254 00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:57,127 Yes, we are. 255 00:12:57,208 --> 00:12:59,328 Now, do you want to stand here yakking all day, 256 00:12:59,417 --> 00:13:01,747 or shall we partake in the much-loved and time-honored 257 00:13:01,834 --> 00:13:04,754 symbiotic boy-dog tradition of fetch? 258 00:13:04,834 --> 00:13:09,334 Right. Fetch the ball, Spot! 259 00:13:09,417 --> 00:13:11,877 [snoring] 260 00:13:20,875 --> 00:13:24,575 Hey, Leonard... are you itchy? 261 00:13:24,667 --> 00:13:26,747 No, I'm sleeping. 262 00:13:26,834 --> 00:13:28,174 Well, wake up. 263 00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:30,750 All of a sudden, I'm itching like crazy. 264 00:13:30,834 --> 00:13:34,834 Is Mrs. H. Buying those cheap, synthetic-blend sheets again? 265 00:13:34,917 --> 00:13:37,457 Nope. It says "100% Egyptian cotton." 266 00:13:37,542 --> 00:13:40,382 Oh, great. You know what this means? 267 00:13:40,458 --> 00:13:42,828 You're gonna keep us up all night whining? 268 00:13:42,917 --> 00:13:44,167 Maybe you have fleas. 269 00:13:44,250 --> 00:13:45,330 [gasps] 270 00:13:45,417 --> 00:13:46,707 Bite your tongue, sir! 271 00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:50,882 Good dogs don't get fleas, and I'm as good as they come. 272 00:13:50,959 --> 00:13:54,379 Besides, if I had fleas, I'd be able to brush back my fur 273 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:57,248 and see them crawling around like... Aah! 274 00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:59,633 Fleas! 275 00:13:59,709 --> 00:14:01,419 You probably picked them up in the park. 276 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:04,920 You see, this is why I avoid public facilities. 277 00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:10,383 [shrieking] 278 00:14:18,417 --> 00:14:20,957 Ha! I've got ya! 279 00:14:21,041 --> 00:14:24,251 Lunchtime is over, and now it's time to pay the bill. 280 00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:26,003 [French accent] Please, monsieur doggy, 281 00:14:26,083 --> 00:14:27,793 allow me to introduce myself. 282 00:14:27,875 --> 00:14:30,495 I am Larue, and this is my brother Etienne. 283 00:14:30,583 --> 00:14:33,293 And all we ask for is an occasional meal 284 00:14:33,375 --> 00:14:34,785 and a place to call home. 285 00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:35,825 Talk to the paw. 286 00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:38,077 You're nothing but lowly parasites 287 00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:41,746 that just want to suck my blood and give nothing back in return. 288 00:14:41,834 --> 00:14:43,504 Oh, no, no, monsieur. 289 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:47,333 If you let us stay, we can give you something in return. 290 00:14:47,417 --> 00:14:49,127 Oui! 291 00:14:49,208 --> 00:14:52,498 We will be your servants and do anything your heart desires. 292 00:14:52,583 --> 00:14:54,083 Like a symbiotic relationship. 293 00:14:54,166 --> 00:14:55,576 That's crazy talk. 294 00:14:55,667 --> 00:14:58,537 Yes... so crazy it just might work. 295 00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:03,165 Imagine dog and flea, living in peaceful coexistence-- 296 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:06,420 a shining example for the whole world to follow. 297 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:12,290 And so I say, "Yes. Yes, my tiny, bloodsucking friends. 298 00:15:12,375 --> 00:15:15,165 Let the symbiosis begin!" 299 00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:16,960 -Oh-oh! Oui, monsieur! -Oh-oh! Oui, monsieur! 300 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,001 Who wants action on how long this lasts? 301 00:15:19,083 --> 00:15:21,083 -I'm in. -Me too. 302 00:15:25,417 --> 00:15:28,327 Oh, boys, my pulp is settling. 303 00:15:28,417 --> 00:15:29,287 ["La marseillaise" plays] 304 00:15:32,542 --> 00:15:34,042 Whu-uh-uh! 305 00:15:34,125 --> 00:15:35,325 Flea overboard! 306 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,500 Hurry, change the channel. 307 00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:45,583 I'm missing "Genius Dogs Of The 19Th Century." 308 00:15:50,041 --> 00:15:52,381 Can we pick up the pace a little? 309 00:15:52,458 --> 00:15:54,458 This plaque isn't going to clean itself! 310 00:15:54,542 --> 00:15:56,882 Excuse us, master. 311 00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:59,170 We'd like to bring this to you. 312 00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,670 We tried our hardest-- honest, we did. 313 00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:03,420 But it is too big. 314 00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:06,830 We are, after all, fleas, not ants. 315 00:16:06,917 --> 00:16:08,417 Oh, what's the use? 316 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:12,210 This symbiotic thing just isn't working out like I imagined. 317 00:16:12,291 --> 00:16:14,581 Please, monsieur, give us another chance. 318 00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:17,917 Maybe there is something we are better at, n'est-ce pas? 319 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:18,920 Like what? 320 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,750 Well, we can... bite. 321 00:16:20,834 --> 00:16:24,254 Oh, yes, we're very good at biting. 322 00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:25,423 Watch. 323 00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:30,133 Ow! Yow!! 324 00:16:30,208 --> 00:16:31,418 And how, pray tell, 325 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:36,250 in keeping with the definition of a symbiotic relationship, 326 00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:37,963 does that benefit me? 327 00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:42,581 Well, doesn't knowing that your generosity gives us life 328 00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:45,377 make you feel all warm and tingly inside? 329 00:16:45,417 --> 00:16:47,207 And isn't that a benefit? 330 00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:51,921 Mostly it just makes me feel all itchy and crawly outside. 331 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,580 I'm sorry, boys. 332 00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:56,827 I-I just can't fight nature any longer. 333 00:16:56,917 --> 00:16:58,167 Run for your lives! 334 00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,920 Save yourself! 335 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,250 What's wrong, fella? 336 00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:03,633 You got a little itch? 337 00:17:04,709 --> 00:17:07,419 Aagghhh! Fleas! 338 00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:08,380 What's going on? 339 00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:11,378 Leonard, Spot is positively infested. 340 00:17:11,458 --> 00:17:13,878 Come on, boy, I'm putting you out on the back porch 341 00:17:13,959 --> 00:17:16,539 till I can get you to the groomer for a flea bath. 342 00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:20,825 3 hours and 17 minutes. Pay up, boys. 343 00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:30,750 Sorry, Spot, but you'll have to stay out here 344 00:17:30,834 --> 00:17:32,584 till after your flea bath. 345 00:17:32,792 --> 00:17:37,582 So, what happened to dog and flea living in harmony, 346 00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:39,247 blah, blah, blah? 347 00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:41,463 I'm sorry, fellas. I can't help it. 348 00:17:41,542 --> 00:17:43,922 You're fleas. I'm a dog. It's nature. 349 00:17:44,041 --> 00:17:47,541 I don't hate you, but I can't have you living on me. 350 00:17:47,625 --> 00:17:50,125 Ah, it's okay, mon ami. Don't feel bad. 351 00:17:50,208 --> 00:17:52,578 You were right. We are parasites. 352 00:17:52,667 --> 00:17:55,627 We can't help it. It's just how we are made, huh? 353 00:17:55,709 --> 00:17:58,459 But at least we don't kill what we eat, 354 00:17:58,542 --> 00:18:00,252 like lions and tigers and bears. 355 00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:02,713 Oh, my! I never thought of it that way. 356 00:18:02,792 --> 00:18:05,792 We only ask for a nibble here, a bite there. 357 00:18:05,875 --> 00:18:07,165 Is that so wrong? 358 00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:08,330 No, no, it isn't. 359 00:18:08,417 --> 00:18:11,497 After all, you're only doing what every other species 360 00:18:11,583 --> 00:18:13,963 on the planet is trying to do-- survive. 361 00:18:14,041 --> 00:18:16,831 Unfortunately, Leonard's mother has a plan of her own, 362 00:18:16,917 --> 00:18:18,417 and it doesn't include you. 363 00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:20,420 Sometimes, Etienne, life is cruel, no? 364 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:21,500 Oui! 365 00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:24,383 ♪ Beneath the ocean, in the sky ♪ 366 00:18:24,458 --> 00:18:26,578 ♪ Upon the fruited plain ♪ 367 00:18:26,667 --> 00:18:28,417 ♪ All earth's creatures, big and small ♪ 368 00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,540 ♪ Join in this refrain ♪ 369 00:18:30,625 --> 00:18:32,205 ♪ A simple question that we ask ♪ 370 00:18:32,291 --> 00:18:34,171 ♪ We pose it in a song ♪ 371 00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,330 ♪ To stay alive and even thrive ♪ 372 00:18:36,417 --> 00:18:38,327 ♪ Oh, can't we all just get along? ♪ 373 00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:40,497 ♪ Can't we get along? ♪ 374 00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:42,333 ♪ Get along, gotta, gotta get along ♪ 375 00:18:42,417 --> 00:18:43,997 ♪ Work together ♪ 376 00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:46,083 ♪ To find a place where we belong ♪ 377 00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,996 Oh-oh! Oui, oui! 378 00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:52,133 ♪ A bird and cat can coexist, As happy as you please ♪ 379 00:18:52,208 --> 00:18:55,538 ♪ So why can't I, a noble hound, Live with a pair of fleas? ♪ 380 00:18:55,625 --> 00:18:57,705 ♪ Can't we get along? ♪ 381 00:18:57,792 --> 00:18:59,462 ♪ Get along, gotta, gotta get along ♪ 382 00:18:59,542 --> 00:19:01,252 ♪ Work together ♪ 383 00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:03,713 ♪ To find a place where we belong ♪ 384 00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:04,712 [CRYING] Where do we belong? 385 00:19:07,166 --> 00:19:09,076 ♪ Here's a thought, a small idea ♪ 386 00:19:09,166 --> 00:19:10,916 ♪ To help the fleas' well-being ♪ 387 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000 ♪ Let's take them Where they'll have a home ♪ 388 00:19:13,083 --> 00:19:15,003 Of course! They'll live with Ian! 389 00:19:15,083 --> 00:19:16,963 ♪ Come, my friends, let's don't delay ♪ 390 00:19:17,041 --> 00:19:18,751 ♪ There is no time to lose-ki ♪ 391 00:19:18,834 --> 00:19:20,464 ♪ I hope, I swear, You'll like it there ♪ 392 00:19:20,542 --> 00:19:22,462 ♪ With Ian Waszelewski ♪ 393 00:19:22,542 --> 00:19:23,962 ♪ Oh, yes, we swear ♪ 394 00:19:24,041 --> 00:19:24,961 ♪ Yes, we swear ♪ 395 00:19:25,041 --> 00:19:26,671 -♪ You'll like it there ♪ -♪ We'll love it there ♪ 396 00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:32,040 ♪ With Ian Waszelewski ♪ 397 00:19:32,125 --> 00:19:34,495 [laughing] 398 00:19:38,291 --> 00:19:39,461 Oh, hello, Leonard. 399 00:19:39,542 --> 00:19:41,132 Did you come over 400 00:19:41,208 --> 00:19:43,578 to play with my collection of molds and fungi? 401 00:19:43,709 --> 00:19:45,419 Uh, not exactly. 402 00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:48,080 See, I got to thinking about how lonely you said you were. 403 00:19:48,166 --> 00:19:49,916 And then I remembered 404 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,420 that during the movie about parasites and stuff, 405 00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:54,460 you kind of perked up when they talked about fleas. 406 00:19:54,542 --> 00:19:58,672 Well, duh! Fleas are only, like, the perfect pet! 407 00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:01,460 I mean, come on, they go everywhere with you. 408 00:20:01,542 --> 00:20:03,582 You never have to buy them food. 409 00:20:03,667 --> 00:20:05,247 And they're cute as bugs, 410 00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:08,333 although technically, they fall under the order 411 00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:09,577 of siphonaptera. 412 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:12,497 Then I don't suppose you'd want some of Spot's fleas. 413 00:20:12,583 --> 00:20:15,383 Would I?! 414 00:20:15,458 --> 00:20:19,078 Well, hot-diggety, zooma-zooma, yippee-ai-ki-ay! 415 00:20:19,166 --> 00:20:20,326 Sure, why not? 416 00:20:20,417 --> 00:20:22,417 Well, I guess this is it. 417 00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:26,250 I can't believe I'm saying this to fleas, 418 00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:28,753 but... I'm gonna miss you guys! 419 00:20:28,834 --> 00:20:31,584 And we will miss you, too, monsieur Spot. 420 00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:34,037 We had some good times, though, didn't we? 421 00:20:34,125 --> 00:20:35,495 No, not really. 422 00:20:35,583 --> 00:20:39,253 But still, you tried, and for that, we are eternally grateful. 423 00:20:39,333 --> 00:20:40,543 I did the best I could. 424 00:20:40,625 --> 00:20:43,495 For in the words of the renowned humanitarian 425 00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:46,173 and darn good organ player Albert Schweitzer, 426 00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:49,540 "a man is ethical only when life as such is sacred to him-- 427 00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:53,245 that of plants and animals, as well as that of his fellow man." 428 00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:56,383 Hey! Am I gonna get my fleas or what?! 429 00:20:56,458 --> 00:21:01,878 Come on, let's get this over with before I start bawling. 430 00:21:01,959 --> 00:21:03,579 -Oui! -Oui! 431 00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:07,667 Here, little flea-fleas. Come to daddy. 432 00:21:15,166 --> 00:21:18,786 Ahh! Hee-hee-hee-hee! 433 00:21:22,291 --> 00:21:24,131 Ah ha ha! 434 00:21:24,291 --> 00:21:26,001 Oh, this is great! 435 00:21:26,083 --> 00:21:30,083 Now I can finally start the world-famous 436 00:21:30,166 --> 00:21:32,576 Waszelewski Flea Circus! 437 00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:34,707 I get to be the ringmaster, 438 00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:38,502 and the fleas get as much of my blood as they can drink! 439 00:21:38,583 --> 00:21:41,503 It is a symbiotic relationship, you know. 440 00:21:41,583 --> 00:21:44,083 I know. I saw the movie, too. 441 00:21:44,333 --> 00:21:47,883 Oh, my gosh. Look! 442 00:21:48,083 --> 00:21:48,923 What? 443 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,630 [Ian gasps] It's Notar! 444 00:21:51,709 --> 00:21:53,249 He's come home! 445 00:21:53,333 --> 00:21:54,713 Come on, fleas. 446 00:21:54,792 --> 00:21:56,832 I want you to meet Notar, 447 00:21:56,917 --> 00:21:59,997 the greatest invisible guy in the world. 448 00:22:04,041 --> 00:22:06,881 That is one kooky kid. 449 00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,209 He sure is. 450 00:22:08,291 --> 00:22:11,381 Hey, do you think the fleas will get along with Notar?