1 00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:02,293 Of the leash 2 00:00:02,375 --> 00:00:04,325 - 3 00:00:08,583 --> 00:00:09,883 - 4 00:00:09,959 --> 00:00:11,789 For a pair of pants 5 00:00:11,875 --> 00:00:14,205 His favorite pastime 6 00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,631 For the last time 7 00:00:16,709 --> 00:00:18,039 - 8 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:31,000 Why can't I be a normal kid like any other? 9 00:00:31,083 --> 00:00:33,083 Now, doodle bug, listen to mother. 10 00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:36,788 I hate dogs. 11 00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,503 I do not wish to be a dog. 12 00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:54,131 Yes! 13 00:01:11,417 --> 00:01:12,917 Who wrote some books 14 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,170 Was his name, oh 15 00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:23,000 Was his name, oh 16 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,253 Great. We've reduced one of the greatest writers 17 00:01:25,333 --> 00:01:27,633 in the history of the English language 18 00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:29,459 to a clap-along song. 19 00:01:29,542 --> 00:01:31,422 Could you keep it down? 20 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:35,040 Some of us are trying to digest "David Copperfield" here. 21 00:01:35,125 --> 00:01:36,245 The magician? 22 00:01:36,333 --> 00:01:37,583 The novel! 23 00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:42,076 By Charles Dickens, the great writer, 24 00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:48,206 about whom we learned today at the Charles Dickens Museum! 25 00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:53,080 Oh, incredible. Not a one of you picked up anything 26 00:01:53,166 --> 00:01:55,206 from our field trip today. 27 00:01:55,291 --> 00:01:57,041 I picked up some tasty gruel-flavored 28 00:01:57,125 --> 00:01:59,665 Oliver twist-y bread at the food court. 29 00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:02,880 Ew! 30 00:02:03,917 --> 00:02:06,917 Literature haters. 31 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,500 There. Happy now? 32 00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:18,080 Scott? Scott, what are you doing? 33 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,285 Hey, you with the nose, 34 00:02:24,375 --> 00:02:27,245 sit your can down and buckle up. 35 00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:29,253 You want to bang your noggin 36 00:02:29,333 --> 00:02:31,883 and end up driving the bus the rest of your life? 37 00:02:31,959 --> 00:02:33,499 Scott? Scott, dear! 38 00:02:37,166 --> 00:02:39,036 Scott! 39 00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:40,955 What's gotten into you, for gosh sake? 40 00:02:41,041 --> 00:02:43,171 Oh, yes, I know. I'm sorry. 41 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,290 Out of my way! 42 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,789 Scott, chill! 43 00:02:50,291 --> 00:02:52,831 I needed that. 44 00:02:52,917 --> 00:02:55,167 Well, I'll tell you something else 45 00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,420 it seems you need, Mr. Leadready -- 46 00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:58,830 a little discipline. 47 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:03,167 Ooh, you're bad! 48 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:08,330 Ooh, you're in trouble! 49 00:03:08,417 --> 00:03:13,327 Scott, a write-up goes on your permanent record. 50 00:03:13,417 --> 00:03:16,577 It marks you for the rest of your life. 51 00:03:16,667 --> 00:03:19,667 It gets seen by everyone -- fifth grade, sixth grade, 52 00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:21,250 middle school, high school, 53 00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:24,833 and every college in the world! 54 00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:32,673 Scott! 55 00:03:32,750 --> 00:03:34,250 Scott, take it easy. 56 00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:35,833 You heard them. 57 00:03:35,917 --> 00:03:38,207 My life is over, all because of one 58 00:03:38,291 --> 00:03:43,251 lousy, stupid, glorious, open window. 59 00:03:43,333 --> 00:03:44,583 Not even. 60 00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:46,247 Something as dinky as sticking your head out once 61 00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:47,923 wouldn't go on your permanent record. 62 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,750 -It wouldn't? -No. 63 00:03:49,834 --> 00:03:51,714 Then what is your mom 64 00:03:51,792 --> 00:03:54,422 giving Principal Strickler, smarty? 65 00:03:55,709 --> 00:03:56,709 Aah! 66 00:04:06,458 --> 00:04:09,538 So you made a mistake. Just forget it and move on. 67 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,625 Oh, but the powers that be won't let me move on. 68 00:04:12,709 --> 00:04:15,379 They've forever branded me a bad one. 69 00:04:15,458 --> 00:04:17,418 Why should I go back to school? 70 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:21,040 Like a broken pencil, it's pointless. 71 00:04:21,125 --> 00:04:23,075 See? 72 00:04:23,166 --> 00:04:25,706 Even my quips have gone bad. 73 00:04:25,792 --> 00:04:27,632 This isn't the Spot I know. 74 00:04:27,709 --> 00:04:29,629 The Spot I know would fight. 75 00:04:29,709 --> 00:04:30,629 Fight? 76 00:04:30,709 --> 00:04:32,669 Yeah. Go back to school and fight 77 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,290 to show them how good you really are. 78 00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:39,075 Okay. If they want to fight, a fight I will give them. 79 00:04:39,166 --> 00:04:42,326 Did you hear? He's going to fight. 80 00:04:42,417 --> 00:04:45,787 I'll teach those bums to brand me a bad kid. 81 00:04:45,875 --> 00:04:47,705 I'll go back to that school, 82 00:04:47,792 --> 00:04:49,882 and I'll be their worst nightmare. 83 00:04:49,959 --> 00:04:52,709 Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'll do, see? 84 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,962 If it's bad boy they want, then bad boy they'll get. 85 00:05:04,375 --> 00:05:06,915 What's so funny? 86 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,290 I'm fighting, Len. 87 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:11,075 I'm really giving it to the man. 88 00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:13,536 Look, I used block letters instead of cursive, 89 00:05:13,625 --> 00:05:16,075 and I inserted a comma 90 00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:17,786 before the last "and" in a series, 91 00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:19,415 which, while technically correct, 92 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,130 is not widely accepted. 93 00:05:21,208 --> 00:05:22,878 Oh, yeah, I'm bad. 94 00:05:22,959 --> 00:05:27,289 I'll think of a cause 95 00:05:27,375 --> 00:05:30,455 I laugh at the laws 96 00:05:30,542 --> 00:05:32,252 Who does it 97 00:05:34,166 --> 00:05:37,416 And my first and last name 98 00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:50,883 Quite as good as me 99 00:05:52,959 --> 00:05:57,129 Rudest, brutinest dude 100 00:06:07,917 --> 00:06:08,997 Bad. 101 00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:14,673 Quite as good as me 102 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:17,330 Bad! 103 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,920 That's the bad kid. 104 00:06:28,041 --> 00:06:29,881 Look out for him, man. 105 00:06:29,959 --> 00:06:30,959 He's bad. 106 00:06:37,333 --> 00:06:40,213 Oh, great, the warden is here. 107 00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:42,581 Would you boys and girls like to know 108 00:06:42,667 --> 00:06:45,207 the easiest way to break a principal's heart? 109 00:06:45,291 --> 00:06:47,581 Mess up, get detention, and squander your potential, 110 00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:49,877 you little delinquents! 111 00:06:49,959 --> 00:06:52,129 Other schools don't have this problem. 112 00:06:52,208 --> 00:06:53,498 The West East Westland District 113 00:06:53,583 --> 00:06:56,133 hasn't had a single student in detention this term. 114 00:06:56,208 --> 00:07:00,038 Stay out of detention, children. Live up to your potential. 115 00:07:00,125 --> 00:07:03,575 Make that West East Westland eat dirt. 116 00:07:05,166 --> 00:07:07,206 Thank you. 117 00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:09,081 Are we going to take that 118 00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:12,286 from that fascist grown-up tyrant? 119 00:07:12,375 --> 00:07:14,455 He seemed sort of nice to me. 120 00:07:14,542 --> 00:07:16,672 Oh, sister. 121 00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:19,290 Don't fall for his bag of words -- 122 00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:22,325 not living up to our potential. 123 00:07:22,417 --> 00:07:24,497 Yeah, I had a potential once. 124 00:07:24,583 --> 00:07:27,463 I was going to be the first poet laureate brain surgeon 125 00:07:27,542 --> 00:07:29,292 to set foot on Mars, 126 00:07:29,375 --> 00:07:31,665 but I stuck my head out one window, 127 00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:33,460 and bam, potential gone. 128 00:07:33,542 --> 00:07:36,082 If he made it disappear any quicker, 129 00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:38,286 he'd be David Copperfield -- 130 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,625 not the Dickens character, the Vegas magician -- 131 00:07:40,709 --> 00:07:42,629 puts on a heck of a show. 132 00:07:42,709 --> 00:07:44,329 Hey, what's this? 133 00:07:44,417 --> 00:07:48,207 He was so busy grinding our futures to dust 134 00:07:48,291 --> 00:07:50,041 under his cruel shoes, 135 00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:53,245 he didn't even realize he dropped his keys. 136 00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:57,213 Well, his carelessness will be his Waterloo. 137 00:07:57,291 --> 00:08:02,671 He's about to taste revenge, Leadready style. 138 00:08:07,834 --> 00:08:10,754 Ooh, you got deten-- 139 00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:12,754 Save it. Squares. 140 00:08:12,834 --> 00:08:14,134 Hey, Scott. Hey -- 141 00:08:14,208 --> 00:08:15,748 come on, gang. 142 00:08:15,834 --> 00:08:17,924 We got a job to do. 143 00:08:24,125 --> 00:08:27,245 Come on, Scott. Where are you? 144 00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:34,207 Now, where did I put those keys? 145 00:08:34,291 --> 00:08:38,291 Come on, gang. We got a job to do. 146 00:08:38,375 --> 00:08:41,035 Oh, no! 147 00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:42,995 You know, this is fun, 148 00:08:43,083 --> 00:08:44,833 but based on my observations, 149 00:08:44,917 --> 00:08:47,077 I don't think they make sticky string 150 00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:49,456 quite as sticky as they used to. 151 00:08:49,542 --> 00:08:53,332 What? The permanent records. 152 00:08:59,417 --> 00:09:02,417 Well, well, well, would you look at this? 153 00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:06,003 Scott Leadready II 154 00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:08,213 is a smart and well-behaved boy 155 00:09:08,291 --> 00:09:10,001 with no major shortcomings. 156 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,793 He needs to learn proper field trip behavior, 157 00:09:12,875 --> 00:09:15,745 but in every other aspect, he is a very good boy. 158 00:09:15,834 --> 00:09:19,174 There's nothing bad in my file. 159 00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:21,250 Nothing. 160 00:09:21,333 --> 00:09:24,293 Oh, I am fortune's fool! 161 00:09:24,375 --> 00:09:28,785 I believed the malicious gossip of misguided school chums 162 00:09:28,875 --> 00:09:31,165 and thought the authorities were all against me, 163 00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:35,130 but my destiny shouldn't be shaped by how others see me, 164 00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:39,038 but by how I perceive myself. 165 00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:41,955 Must be from "David Copperfield." 166 00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:46,711 No, it's from my heart. I made a big mistake. 167 00:09:46,792 --> 00:09:49,422 Scott, stop! You're making a big mistake! 168 00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,000 I know, I know. 169 00:09:51,083 --> 00:09:53,003 Wow, I'm good. 170 00:09:53,083 --> 00:09:55,923 I'm not a bad 'un, Leonard. I'm a good 'un. 171 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,960 I've always been a good 'un, 172 00:09:59,041 --> 00:10:00,881 and I always will be a good 'un, 173 00:10:00,959 --> 00:10:03,629 because I have control over my destiny, 174 00:10:03,709 --> 00:10:05,999 and unlike David Copperfield... 175 00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:08,083 The guy in the book or the magician? 176 00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:11,166 I don't know. I have to hear the rest of the sentence. 177 00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:13,380 I know full well now and forever 178 00:10:13,458 --> 00:10:15,998 that I am going to be the hero of my own life. 179 00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:18,043 Book. Yeah, good, Scott, 180 00:10:18,125 --> 00:10:21,285 but first we better get rid of all the sticky string. 181 00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:25,075 Yes, because that's what heroes of their own lives do. 182 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,416 They get rid of the sticky string. 183 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:31,040 They help students who aren't yet heroes of their own lives 184 00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:33,825 cut through the stupid sticky string 185 00:10:33,917 --> 00:10:35,917 of gossip and labels. 186 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:39,330 Okay, but we better get rid of all this sticky string first. 187 00:10:39,417 --> 00:10:40,957 Strickler's coming! 188 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,211 Aah! 189 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,750 My keys -- you had them. 190 00:10:52,834 --> 00:10:54,584 Whoops. 191 00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:56,997 And you brought them back to me, 192 00:10:57,083 --> 00:10:59,503 you good, good boy. 193 00:11:01,083 --> 00:11:03,503 Yes, yes, 194 00:11:03,583 --> 00:11:05,833 and straightened up your office a tad, too. 195 00:11:05,917 --> 00:11:08,127 Oh, I knew I could reform you. 196 00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:10,128 Now get out of here 197 00:11:10,208 --> 00:11:12,288 before I cite you for loitering. 198 00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:13,665 Yes, sir. 199 00:11:13,750 --> 00:11:16,330 There's no such thing as a bad student, 200 00:11:16,417 --> 00:11:19,917 just ones I haven't reformed yet. 201 00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:23,830 Uhh! 202 00:11:41,083 --> 00:11:45,173 And so I hope that all of you will consider deep sea diving 203 00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:49,630 as a c-clear -- 204 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,289 oh, dear, I seem to be standing 205 00:11:51,375 --> 00:11:53,125 on your air supply. My bad. 206 00:11:53,208 --> 00:11:54,328 Ha ha ha. 207 00:11:54,417 --> 00:11:59,167 Oh, thank you. 208 00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:01,250 Thank you very much. 209 00:12:01,959 --> 00:12:03,749 Okay, class, now let's continue 210 00:12:03,834 --> 00:12:07,464 with our next super-exciting career day presentation. 211 00:12:07,542 --> 00:12:12,132 Ha ha. Teddy, um, would you be kind enough 212 00:12:12,208 --> 00:12:13,378 to stand before the class 213 00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:16,328 and in your best and biggest announcer voice, 214 00:12:16,417 --> 00:12:18,247 please introduce us to your dad? 215 00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:20,173 Ahem. 216 00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:22,380 Here's my dad. 217 00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:24,628 Howdy do, future of America. 218 00:12:24,709 --> 00:12:28,459 Say, Teddy's dad looks awfully familiar. 219 00:12:28,542 --> 00:12:30,542 All righty, now, Mr. Naven's planned 220 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:33,875 a special little guessing game with his job. 221 00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:38,581 Well, thank you. Thank you. What a warm welcome. 222 00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:40,577 Now, few people realize 223 00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:43,627 that my job was first started in this country 224 00:12:43,709 --> 00:12:45,709 by Benjamin Franklin. 225 00:12:45,792 --> 00:12:47,882 Ooh, ooh, you sell those kites 226 00:12:47,959 --> 00:12:49,879 that get struck by lightning! 227 00:12:49,959 --> 00:12:51,829 I want one of those babies! 228 00:12:51,917 --> 00:12:55,037 Ha ha. Good guess, strange little boy, but no. 229 00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:58,125 Clue number two -- I help bring people all over the world 230 00:12:58,208 --> 00:12:59,748 closer together by delivering 231 00:12:59,834 --> 00:13:02,384 thousands of important documents and packages. 232 00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:05,878 I got it! Are you Santa claus? 233 00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,959 Oh, they're sniffing it out. 234 00:13:08,041 --> 00:13:11,131 But I'm afraid Santa only delivers things once a year. 235 00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:13,958 I'm responsible for delivering things six days a week. 236 00:13:14,041 --> 00:13:16,081 Mr. Naven's job sounds cool. 237 00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:18,626 Well, sure, lots of responsibility, 238 00:13:18,709 --> 00:13:20,039 serving the public, 239 00:13:20,125 --> 00:13:22,375 established by one of the founding fathers -- 240 00:13:22,458 --> 00:13:24,748 it's obvious. He's a mailman. 241 00:13:24,834 --> 00:13:28,254 A mailman? 242 00:13:30,041 --> 00:13:32,961 Oh, you got me. I'm a mailman. 243 00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:37,880 What few people realize is that -- 244 00:13:37,959 --> 00:13:43,039 what few people realize is that all letter carriers 245 00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:46,785 are evil, scheming thieves. 246 00:13:46,875 --> 00:13:47,955 Huh? 247 00:13:48,041 --> 00:13:50,331 Oh, now, just a darn second there, 248 00:13:50,417 --> 00:13:51,577 beanie-wearing youngster. 249 00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:54,457 Scott Leadready II, you apologize this instant. 250 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,632 You know we don't allow that type of nonsense. 251 00:13:57,709 --> 00:14:01,169 Nonsense or common sense? Huh? Huh? 252 00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:03,580 How long are you going to hide your heads in the sand? 253 00:14:03,667 --> 00:14:06,077 That man may pretend to deliver your mail, 254 00:14:06,166 --> 00:14:08,206 but that's all a ruse. 255 00:14:08,291 --> 00:14:11,461 He's just trying to figure out how to break into your homes. 256 00:14:11,542 --> 00:14:13,922 Now, I know this will hurt me 257 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,130 more than it hurts you, 258 00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:18,578 but you have given me no choice. 259 00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:21,577 Today there will be no first recess for you. 260 00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:25,127 You'll have to eat your snack at your desk. 261 00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:31,134 "Calling our guest speaker evil is not very nice. 262 00:14:31,208 --> 00:14:35,418 Calling our guest speaker evil is not very nice." 263 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:39,712 Imagine the humiliation having to apologize to him. 264 00:14:39,792 --> 00:14:41,582 He should have to apologize to us. 265 00:14:41,667 --> 00:14:43,077 But, Scott, letter carriers 266 00:14:43,166 --> 00:14:45,076 are good, decent, hard-working folks. 267 00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:47,626 Without them, where would people be? 268 00:14:47,709 --> 00:14:49,209 People, right. 269 00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:51,211 Wake up and smell the kibble, Leonard. 270 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,421 Letter carriers have been torturing dogs 271 00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,540 since the beginning of time. 272 00:14:58,166 --> 00:15:01,126 It all started with cavemen, 273 00:15:01,208 --> 00:15:04,248 who wrote their letters on bones. 274 00:15:06,542 --> 00:15:09,042 And when the ancient Greeks carved their letters 275 00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,535 on stone tablets, 276 00:15:10,625 --> 00:15:13,035 it didn't get any better for dogs. 277 00:15:15,041 --> 00:15:19,171 Even today those conniving postal demons 278 00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,830 will lure dogs outside in all kinds of weather, 279 00:15:21,917 --> 00:15:27,327 be it rain or hail or wind or snow. 280 00:15:27,417 --> 00:15:29,287 Throughout all of history, 281 00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:31,575 one thing has remained the same. 282 00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:33,127 All letter carriers 283 00:15:33,208 --> 00:15:36,748 are out to make all dogs' lives miserable. 284 00:15:36,834 --> 00:15:38,544 Hey, forgot my partner. 285 00:15:38,625 --> 00:15:41,415 There you are. Ha ha. 286 00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:44,250 Sorry about you losing your recess, big guy, 287 00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,173 but no hard feelings, right? 288 00:15:56,458 --> 00:15:58,128 Well, little déjà vu here. 289 00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:00,328 But, you know, really, don't worry about it. 290 00:16:00,458 --> 00:16:02,128 These things happen. 291 00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:04,328 That young man's yapping was no worse 292 00:16:04,417 --> 00:16:06,287 than, say, your dog's there. 293 00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:08,665 Scott certainly was acting exactly like little Spot here. 294 00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,670 Exactly. 295 00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:12,920 Say, wouldn't it be fascinating 296 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:17,540 if somehow a dog could transform himself into a little b-- 297 00:16:17,625 --> 00:16:21,285 well, ha ha ha. I am not going to give away my best ideas 298 00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:23,877 for science fiction short stories. Ha ha ha. 299 00:16:26,166 --> 00:16:28,166 Oh, and you can rest assured 300 00:16:28,250 --> 00:16:30,170 that I'll have a long stern talk 301 00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:32,250 with that Scott Leadready tomorrow. 302 00:16:32,333 --> 00:16:34,883 I won't allow prejudicial behavior in my class ever. 303 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,540 Did you hear what my mom just said? 304 00:16:37,625 --> 00:16:39,035 Your prejudice against mailmen 305 00:16:39,125 --> 00:16:41,705 is going to get you in real trouble. 306 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,002 Prejudiced? All mailmen are evil. 307 00:16:44,125 --> 00:16:46,125 Would you stop saying that? It's just not true. 308 00:16:46,208 --> 00:16:48,828 What do I have to do, rub your nose in it? 309 00:16:48,959 --> 00:16:49,999 Maybe it's not 310 00:16:50,125 --> 00:16:52,955 in your bright and shiny Christmas tree world, 311 00:16:53,041 --> 00:16:55,631 but now you're down at knee level. 312 00:16:55,709 --> 00:16:58,539 Now you're going to see it the way I see it -- 313 00:16:58,667 --> 00:17:01,287 the way a dog sees it. Now come on. 314 00:17:01,417 --> 00:17:02,747 The world looks different 315 00:17:02,834 --> 00:17:05,254 when your chin's only 18 inches off the cement, 316 00:17:05,375 --> 00:17:07,575 and it's hot inside that fur suit -- 317 00:17:07,709 --> 00:17:10,079 real hot, so hot you feel like a pack of crayons 318 00:17:10,208 --> 00:17:13,168 melting on a hot metal slide on the playground. 319 00:17:13,291 --> 00:17:15,131 The smells rise off the sidewalk 320 00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:17,918 and smack you in the nose -- dames, gum wrappers, 321 00:17:18,041 --> 00:17:20,791 empty bottles that have a better place to go. 322 00:17:20,875 --> 00:17:22,785 A shadow stretches across the street, 323 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,375 and you feel a chill run down your spine 324 00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:27,788 right to the tip of your tail. 325 00:17:27,917 --> 00:17:30,877 It's him -- the thief of letters, stealer of souls. 326 00:17:30,959 --> 00:17:33,499 No, Spot, you're seeing it all the wrong way. 327 00:17:33,583 --> 00:17:36,423 Sometimes people actually mail their letters 328 00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:38,632 by placing them in their mailboxes 329 00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:40,629 for the letter carrier to take. 330 00:17:40,709 --> 00:17:42,629 That way, people who have a hard time 331 00:17:42,709 --> 00:17:45,209 getting to the post office can mail their letters. 332 00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:47,333 If the postman is really our friend, 333 00:17:47,417 --> 00:17:50,287 bright boy, how come he's doing that? 334 00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:52,457 What could be more despicable, 335 00:17:52,542 --> 00:17:54,172 more contemptible, more dishonorable, 336 00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:56,170 and all those other "ables" 337 00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:59,040 than shaking down a defenseless old skirt? 338 00:17:59,166 --> 00:18:01,166 That's not what he's doing. 339 00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:03,080 He's delivering a package to her C.O.D. 340 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,378 That means "collect on delivery." 341 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:09,460 Is that what it means, or is it "collect on death"? 342 00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:12,672 Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's "delivery." 343 00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:15,290 Okay, maybe I got a little carried away. 344 00:18:15,375 --> 00:18:17,325 Maybe I sounded a little crazy, 345 00:18:17,417 --> 00:18:19,537 but what about that? 346 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,880 He's breaking into that house. 347 00:18:22,959 --> 00:18:25,919 He's not breaking in if he lives there, Spot. See? 348 00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:29,128 That proved nothing. 349 00:18:33,291 --> 00:18:35,881 See? It comes right off. 350 00:18:35,959 --> 00:18:37,829 Spot, don't do that. That's wrong. 351 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:40,377 Hey there, kiddo. Don't mess with that mailbox. 352 00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:41,960 Few people realize 353 00:18:42,041 --> 00:18:43,921 that messing with people's mailboxes 354 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,130 is an offense of federal code, title 18, 355 00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:47,628 section 1705. 356 00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:50,420 Now he's threatening my best friend. 357 00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:52,752 That's the last straw. 358 00:18:54,875 --> 00:18:55,915 Help! 359 00:18:56,041 --> 00:18:58,461 Spot, no! Come back here. 360 00:18:59,917 --> 00:19:01,497 What's up, Spot? 361 00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:02,963 Mailman. 362 00:19:03,083 --> 00:19:06,133 Say no more. 363 00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:09,000 Hey, everybody, mailman. 364 00:19:13,917 --> 00:19:15,497 Spot, no! 365 00:19:22,875 --> 00:19:26,625 Leave Mr. Naven alone. He's just doing his job. 366 00:19:26,709 --> 00:19:28,879 You should know that when I grow up, 367 00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,499 I want to make a difference in this world. 368 00:19:31,583 --> 00:19:33,793 That's why I want to become a letter carrier, 369 00:19:33,875 --> 00:19:35,665 just like Mr. Naven. 370 00:19:35,792 --> 00:19:37,792 So if you're going to go after Mr. Naven, 371 00:19:37,875 --> 00:19:40,785 then you might as well start with me. 372 00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:44,665 All right, then. Let's bite the kid, too! 373 00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:46,002 Bite the kid. 374 00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:47,705 What is Leonard doing? 375 00:19:47,792 --> 00:19:50,212 I mean, every dog knows all mailmen are bad, 376 00:19:50,333 --> 00:19:52,213 and therefore I hate all mailmen. 377 00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:55,211 But if I hate all mailmen, and Leonard becomes a mailman, 378 00:19:55,291 --> 00:19:57,831 well, then, there's only one thing I can do. 379 00:19:57,917 --> 00:19:59,627 I have to hate Leonard. 380 00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:02,290 That can't be right. Leonard is my friend. 381 00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:03,745 Leonard is good. 382 00:20:03,834 --> 00:20:06,714 Leonard is about to get mauled by those dogs! 383 00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:12,884 Stop! That's my master, who I love! 384 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,920 Hey, he's a mailman lover. 385 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,790 Get him, the mailman, and the future mailman. 386 00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:23,081 Run for it! 387 00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:28,582 Spot, this can't go on! 388 00:20:28,667 --> 00:20:32,457 Don't worry, Leonard. I've got a sure-fire idea, 389 00:20:32,542 --> 00:20:35,462 just as soon as these dogs run out of breath. 390 00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:44,424 Friends, canines, letter carriers, 391 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:45,580 I'm sure some of you are wondering 392 00:20:45,667 --> 00:20:48,707 why I've called you all here today. 393 00:20:48,834 --> 00:20:50,674 Well, it's a little-known fact 394 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,960 that prejudice can get the best of us. 395 00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:56,753 So to help others learn the lesson I have learned, 396 00:20:56,875 --> 00:21:01,915 I've organized this dog and mailman day of friendship. 397 00:21:02,041 --> 00:21:07,041 Letter carriers, you may open your mailbags now! 398 00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:10,826 Special delivery. 399 00:21:12,375 --> 00:21:15,665 Treats? Well, well, well, 400 00:21:15,750 --> 00:21:19,670 maybe we've been wrong about these mailmen, huh? 401 00:21:22,375 --> 00:21:24,165 Don't grab, now, dogs. There's plenty to go around. 402 00:21:24,291 --> 00:21:26,791 Nice work, buddy. 403 00:21:26,875 --> 00:21:28,375 Yes, indeed, Scott. 404 00:21:28,458 --> 00:21:30,788 I am so proud of you for organizing all this 405 00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:33,035 that I decided to help you out a smidge 406 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,995 by ordering pizza for everybody. 407 00:21:35,125 --> 00:21:37,955 Okay, who ordered the pepperoni? 408 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:44,880 Not my leg! Ooh! Aah! 409 00:21:44,959 --> 00:21:46,579 Aah! 410 00:21:49,125 --> 00:21:50,665 Sorry, Leonard. 411 00:21:50,750 --> 00:21:52,710 Guess you got to take these things 412 00:21:52,792 --> 00:21:54,252 one delivery service at a time.