1
00:00:05,971 --> 00:00:07,039
Hyah!
2
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:08,107
Aah!
3
00:00:10,276 --> 00:00:11,910
(Exhales)
4
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,179
Not bad, Mickey,
5
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,115
but your form
needs work.
6
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:18,484
Spar with, uh,
someone else
7
00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:20,652
while I confer
with captain black.
8
00:00:26,459 --> 00:00:28,460
Sorry about
the hard knocks,
my friend,
9
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:32,331
but since section 13's
officially out of
the dark hand business,
10
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:36,168
I had to devise a way
to justify your overhead
to my superiors.
11
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,971
Did you put me on the books
as personal trainer,
12
00:00:38,973 --> 00:00:40,773
or punching bag?
13
00:00:40,775 --> 00:00:41,840
Jade: Hyah-ha!
14
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:42,908
(Gasps)
15
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:43,976
Jade!
16
00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:45,477
What?
17
00:00:45,478 --> 00:00:49,548
Oh, I, uh, told Mickey
to work on that form.
18
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,670
Shendu: Ah, ah...
19
00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:46,071
Gingerly.
20
00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:49,108
Watch your step.
21
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:51,309
Place it over
to the left...
22
00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:53,445
Valmont:
And into the incinerator.
23
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,347
We could use some firewood.
24
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:56,515
Shendu:
Silence!
25
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:59,551
With some sprucing,
this fish heap
26
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:02,855
will be worthy of housing
a demon sorcerer--
27
00:02:02,857 --> 00:02:05,858
valmont:
Ex-demon sorcerer.
28
00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:08,260
Shendu:
- I may be vanquished,
29
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:11,063
but I am still
in charge, valmont,
30
00:02:11,065 --> 00:02:12,931
as you can well see.
31
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:16,401
Valmont:
- This is my hideout,
and my body, shendu.
32
00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:17,736
Which reminds me,
33
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:20,606
I have a change
of wardrobe
in mind for us.
34
00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:21,673
(Gasps)
35
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:22,774
You wouldn't dare.
36
00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:24,376
Aah!
Aah!
37
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:27,880
That is a thousand-year-old
heirloom
38
00:02:27,882 --> 00:02:30,382
from the ling dynasty!
39
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:33,318
Well, maybe if
game geek over there
would have helped.
40
00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,157
Oh...
41
00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:42,661
Chow.
42
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,470
Shendu: Ah, yes.
43
00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:55,474
Directions to the door
which contains tchangzu,
44
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:58,143
the thunder demon.
45
00:02:58,145 --> 00:03:01,580
Hey, Cali-for-ni-yay.
46
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:02,981
We are here--
47
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,750
and we are to go south,
48
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:05,817
to--
49
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,024
you got that,
didn't you?
50
00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:13,192
Uh...
51
00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:14,626
Pretty much all of it,
52
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,995
before we, uh,
ran out of tape.
53
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:18,330
(Growls)
54
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:19,765
Dude, run.
55
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:20,966
(Shendu growls)
56
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,601
Aah!
57
00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:27,039
(Gasps)
58
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,106
Water!
59
00:03:29,242 --> 00:03:30,509
That's right, big v--
60
00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:33,212
swimmin' pools
and movie stars.
61
00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:35,214
We're headin' for...
62
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:36,348
Jackie: Hollywood?
63
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,150
I'm on my way,
captain black.
64
00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:40,552
Jackie, can I come
with, please?
65
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,621
Jade,
the dark hand is there,
66
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,890
no doubt searching
for a demon portal.
67
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:48,026
But rafaello dicapezio
is getting his footprints
in cement
68
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:49,661
at the Chinese theater
this weekend.
69
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,230
Who-faello di-who-zio?
70
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:52,664
Hello?
71
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,600
Rafaello dicapezio
is only
72
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,902
the greatest movie star
in the history of...
73
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,136
History.
74
00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,371
Uncle: Ahh...
75
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:02,441
I guess you have never
heard of John Wayne.
76
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,410
Ahh, the Duke.
77
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,813
(Imitating John Wayne)
Saddle up, pilgrim.
78
00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:12,084
Hmm, I suppose
this is one time
79
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:14,886
you could come along
and not be in the way.
80
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,455
Yes!
81
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,624
Hey, what's that
supposed to mean?
82
00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:21,660
Jackie: Tohru will
be your chaperone,
83
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,562
while I search
for the dark hand.
84
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,964
Well, the festivities
aren't till tonight,
85
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,266
so why don't we
just take a minute
86
00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:28,900
and help you find
the demon door?
87
00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:32,938
Happy sightseeing.
88
00:04:36,308 --> 00:04:39,378
I am so sorry
that I screamed, Jade.
89
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,079
Yeah, uh,
90
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:43,749
Frankenstein did look
pretty lifelike, t.
91
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,284
Must be all that wax.
92
00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:49,187
Uh, maybe we should bring
back a souvenir for uncle.
93
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:52,524
Do you have any photos
of John Wayne?
94
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:02,467
Tohru.
95
00:05:11,209 --> 00:05:13,612
Aw, we're
wanderin', anyway.
96
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:16,114
I want to see
Clark gable's old house.
97
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:18,149
Frankly, ratso,
I don't give a darn.
98
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,318
And who's wanderin'?
99
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,119
We got directions
right here.
100
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:24,523
Chow: Yeah. Halfway between
"the pools of despair"
101
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,124
and "the trail
of treachery."
102
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,893
It's all so clear.
103
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:30,929
(Cell phone rings)
104
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,064
Hello?
105
00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:33,165
Jackie,
the dark hand guys
106
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,100
are right outside
the wax museum.
107
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:38,036
Uh, Jade,
how do you do that?
108
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,170
Never mind.
109
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,306
Do nothing
until I get there.
110
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:42,374
Can't hear you.
111
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:43,709
(Imitating static)
112
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:45,410
You're breaking...
113
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:46,611
Up.
114
00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:49,114
Jade? Oh!
115
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:51,016
The wax museum--quickly!
116
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:54,219
Which do you think
uncle would like best?
117
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,620
Jade?
118
00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:58,590
Jade: Look,
the 3 stooges!
119
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,125
Where?
Duh.
120
00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:01,460
All: Hey!
121
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:13,972
Heh.
122
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:15,440
You must want this, huh?
123
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:22,080
Say "cheese," Princess.
124
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:24,316
"Cheese, Princess."
125
00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:27,486
Tohru!
126
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,624
Maybe he'd
like to see
some real stars.
127
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:42,734
Finn: Chan!
128
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,537
Does this qualify
as being outnumbered?
129
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:46,671
Works for me.
130
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,609
Jade, are you all right?
131
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,210
Peachy. Jackie, I got--
132
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,946
what part of "do nothing"
didn't you understand?
133
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,816
But Jackie, I got--
watch her.
134
00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:58,884
(Moans)
135
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:08,894
(Gasps)
136
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:11,296
I have waited
for this moment.
137
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:13,899
Prepare to meet
your doom.
138
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,676
I didn't know
the dark hand
had a new enforcer.
139
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,913
Hyah!
140
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,581
(Grunting)
141
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:34,719
Aah!
142
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:36,788
(Both grunting)
143
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,040
Wires?
144
00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,477
Nigel: Cut!
145
00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:01,580
Who are you?
146
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:02,881
This is a movie set?
147
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:05,450
Awesome. Are you gonna
put Jackie in your movie?
148
00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:08,019
Oh, sure, after
I have him arrested!
149
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,255
Nigel, Nigel, calm down.
150
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:12,524
Larry Franklin, producer
of ninjas in the hood.
151
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:14,559
That was quite
a display the way you--
152
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:15,660
"bam" and "bam, bam!"
153
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:16,728
(Laughs)
154
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,730
- You have an agent?
- Uh...
155
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,432
That would be moi.
156
00:08:20,434 --> 00:08:23,134
Bam, bam. This town's
gettin' younger every day.
157
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,769
Look, lar,
158
00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:27,739
Jackie chan here is
going to be the next
big action superstar,
159
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:29,975
and you have
the opportunity
160
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,576
to get in on
the ground floor.
161
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,578
Jade.
162
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,514
Right, Jackie. Did I
mention that he does
all his own stunts?
163
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:36,648
Oh!
164
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,084
Give me a jingle.
If jc can act, bam--
165
00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:40,352
we're in business.
166
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:42,454
(Scoffs)
Act? Jack--whoa!
167
00:08:42,456 --> 00:08:45,423
Say bye-bye to
the nice man, Jade.
168
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:47,993
Jackie, play
your cards right,
and you can be a star.
169
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,594
I don't want
to be a star.
170
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:51,496
I want to find
the demon portal
171
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:53,198
before valmont's men do.
172
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,167
Oh, that.
It's in the bag.
173
00:08:57,169 --> 00:09:00,105
Jade, how do you do that?
174
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:05,510
Jackie: If "the pools
of despair" are
the tar pits...
175
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:08,513
And "the trail
of treachery" is
the cahuenga pass...
176
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:12,284
Halfway should be
right here.
177
00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:14,286
"Megagalactic studios?"
178
00:09:14,288 --> 00:09:16,187
Boy, talk about
your co-ink-I-dink.
179
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:17,722
As long as we're
gonna be on the lot,
180
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,524
why don't we
"do lunch" with lar?
181
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,960
Because "we" had
a big breakfast.
182
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:29,868
Pass?
183
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,002
Uh...
184
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,637
Hey, you're
talkin' to the star
185
00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:34,272
of beach babewatch here.
186
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,044
Oh, uh, sorry.
187
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:40,377
Go right ahead.
188
00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:43,782
Oh! The dark hand?
189
00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:46,618
Pass?
190
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:49,187
Yes, I would like to.
191
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,622
No, can't
let you on the lot
192
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,090
without a pass.
193
00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:54,793
(Ring)
194
00:09:55,728 --> 00:09:56,828
Good afternoon.
195
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,730
Jade arts talent agency.
196
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,298
Jade, I--
197
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,167
I can't get onto
the studio lot.
198
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:04,903
Yes, but--
199
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,705
yes, b-but--
200
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,506
ok, I'll do it.
201
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,075
(Telephone rings)
Jade? Hello?
202
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:12,177
Megagalactic studios.
203
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,311
Hey, sipowicz.
204
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,846
See the human
action figure
205
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:16,414
with the million-dollar
smile outside your gate?
206
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,917
He's Jackie chan,
the next big thing,
207
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:21,119
and he has a meeting
with the Larry Franklin.
208
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,520
So let me
give you lar's number
209
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,856
so you can explain
how we're about
to sign a deal
210
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,192
with another studio,
because you wouldn't let
211
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:29,561
the man who does his
own stunts onto the lot.
212
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,697
Uh, your pass?
213
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:35,200
Uh, sorry about
the inconvenience,
Mr. chan.
214
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:37,869
How does she do that?
215
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,673
You gettin' anything?
216
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,608
It's got to be
somewhere around here.
217
00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:45,610
Sorry I can't
bring it back!
Thank you!
218
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:46,910
Chan!
219
00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:48,079
Get him!
220
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:11,469
(Buzz)
221
00:11:12,471 --> 00:11:13,571
Yes?
222
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:14,639
Oh, put her through.
223
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:15,740
Jade, what's up?
224
00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:19,711
Lunch? Well,
let me check my--
225
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:20,779
whoa!
226
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:27,152
What goes up.
227
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:28,520
Woodchuck Chucks wood!
228
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:31,322
Whoa...
229
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:33,958
Aah!
230
00:11:35,394 --> 00:11:38,229
Bam! He really does
do his own stunts.
231
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,764
Uh, of course he does.
232
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:42,934
So, Larry baby,
we're on for tomorrow?
233
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,102
You bet--heh--
234
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:45,904
unless your client's
in traction.
235
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,639
Jackie has a meeting.
236
00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:50,208
I'm da bomb.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
237
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:53,745
Um, we're going to be late
for the footprint ceremony.
238
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,580
Rafaello, right!
239
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,382
Oh...
240
00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:00,118
Ah, oh.
241
00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:22,006
How come everyone
can do that?
242
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:23,541
Ah! Oh!
243
00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:27,645
Huh? Wha--
244
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,849
the portal!
245
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,911
Greetings, tchangzu.
246
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,613
What took you so long?
247
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,815
Just the usual
interference
248
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:06,050
from Jackie chan.
249
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:09,487
Then he will
interfere no longer.
250
00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:13,191
(Roars)
251
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,979
As the thunder claps,
252
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:38,249
so do I applaud
your skill, brother.
253
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:43,521
Shendu, you may
call me "master."
254
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:46,891
Of course...
255
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:48,526
Master.
256
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,228
Ooh, sss...
257
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,401
Now, take me
to my palace.
258
00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:04,409
Oh, rubber is
an excellent insulator.
259
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:09,747
The surroundings
may not seem familiar,
260
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:11,683
but I assure you--
261
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:13,551
my palace!
262
00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:18,556
These humans have
paved my paradise
263
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,658
and constructed a--
264
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,327
parking lot.
265
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,796
(Roar)
266
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:27,465
I will rebuild my palace.
267
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,601
For the time being, shendu,
268
00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:32,837
you shall find a dwelling
place which befits me.
269
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:35,106
Uh, how 'bout
that one?
270
00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:39,143
Hmm...
271
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:40,645
That will do.
272
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,452
Isn't he the dreamiest?
273
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,320
He's all right.
274
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,523
(Crowd murmuring)
275
00:14:54,092 --> 00:14:55,293
Uh-oh.
276
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,996
Away, infidels!
277
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:00,899
(All murmuring)
278
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,901
Why do they not flee?
279
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,769
They think you are...
280
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,804
Entertainment.
281
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,107
Hmm...
282
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,408
Jade: Who's in charge here?
283
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,310
We specifically asked
that crowds be kept
284
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,012
at least 60 feet away.
285
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,513
What are you
talkin' about, miss?
286
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:18,249
How are we supposed to film
with all this interference?
287
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,652
Do you know how much
that animatronic suit cost?
288
00:15:22,721 --> 00:15:24,289
Film?
289
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,658
They told us it was
a footprint ceremony.
290
00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:29,894
Let's go.
Crowd control.
291
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:32,797
Wow, these agents are
gettin' younger every day.
292
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:36,434
Uncle: The immortal who cast
the original chi spell
293
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,037
on tchangzu,
the thunder demon
294
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:41,739
was patron deity
of actors.
295
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:44,842
And the portal was located
in a movie studio?
296
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:45,977
Weird.
(Cell phone rings)
297
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,178
Hello?
298
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,279
Where are you?
299
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,847
Duh. Chinese theater?
300
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,115
But so's
the thunder demon,
301
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,850
and he's packin'
serious boltage.
302
00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:53,952
How do you do--
303
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:58,121
oh, Jade, do nothing
until I get there.
304
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,391
Jade never
does nothing.
305
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,159
I know, but I feel
I have to say it.
306
00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:05,730
Jade: So raf, here's
all you gotta do.
307
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,332
When Jackie chan
comes running in--
308
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:08,666
Jackie who?
309
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:09,734
(Sighs)
310
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:11,469
Will you sign my arm?
311
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,505
I'm callin'
my manager.
312
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,874
He's not
so dreamy anymore.
313
00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:19,677
Relax, t. Raf'll
come crawling back
314
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:22,380
once he reads about this
in tomorrow's papers.
315
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:23,781
Lar? Jade.
316
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,516
If you want to catch
Jackie in action,
317
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,585
come to the Chinese
theater pronto.
318
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,056
Where is the demon?
319
00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:33,124
Inside.
320
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,592
Uncle,
the chi spell's ready?
321
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:35,927
I cannot prepare
the spell.
322
00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:37,762
What?!
Need ingredients.
323
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,697
Why don't you have
ingredients?
324
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,133
How am I supposed to
gather chi ingredients
325
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,302
when you steal
my apprentice?
326
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,738
"Chaperone." Pahh.
327
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:48,406
Oh.
328
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:49,974
Chinatown. Hurry.
329
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:52,343
I'll try to keep
tchangzu inside.
330
00:16:57,383 --> 00:16:59,117
Jackie!
What?
331
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,521
Please, Jade,
stay here.
332
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:08,793
Uncle: One more thing.
333
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:11,462
Powder of komodo
dragon tooth.
334
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,231
One more thing.
335
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:16,434
Tincture
of tortoise shell.
336
00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:18,403
One more thing.
337
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:21,839
Castanets, the symbol
of tsao kuo-ch'iu.
338
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,474
(Crash)
339
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:25,443
In Chinatown?
340
00:17:28,313 --> 00:17:31,215
Tchangzu: I will scorch
this city to the ground
341
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:34,285
while the sound
of thunder resonates!
342
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,921
Heh. Guy's
a regular Olivier.
343
00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:41,759
Welcome to
the cheap seats, chan.
344
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:43,828
You!
345
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:48,366
I shall prove that lightning
can indeed strike twice.
346
00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:50,234
Baah!
347
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,370
Aah!
348
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,272
Oh...
349
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:56,207
If life gives you lemons...
350
00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,977
Lar, glad you could make it.
351
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:01,112
Show's about to start.
352
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:02,513
What show?
353
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,449
Aah!
354
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:07,118
Bam!
355
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,453
Rhymes with chan.
356
00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:14,058
State of the art.
357
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,593
You guys go all out.
358
00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:17,929
Jade: Uncle!
359
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,530
Must prepare chi spell.
360
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,365
Hold these.
361
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:22,867
Who's the old guy?
362
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:25,303
Cranky co-star--
occasional comedy relief.
363
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,844
Forget chan!
364
00:18:32,846 --> 00:18:36,347
If that accursed old man
completes his chi spell,
365
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:39,650
you will be cast
back into limbo.
366
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,519
That would
be our cue.
367
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:46,124
(Tohru grunts)
368
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:48,726
(Roars)
369
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:49,794
Aah!
370
00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:53,531
(Gasps)
371
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:54,899
Uh, bam?
372
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:55,967
Oh!
373
00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:01,506
Jade, play castanets, now!
374
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:04,342
He's also
our musical director.
375
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:05,909
(Uncle chanting)
376
00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:17,722
(Grunts)
377
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:21,559
No!
378
00:19:29,233 --> 00:19:30,401
Ole!
379
00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:32,937
(Growls)
380
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:37,275
So, uh, lar, I'm
thinking buddy picture?
381
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:40,211
Chan and dicapezio,
dicapezio and chan.
382
00:19:42,581 --> 00:19:44,882
There is no picture,
383
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:48,719
and Jackie chan
will never do lunch
in this town again
384
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,488
ever!
385
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,692
Lar didn't say anything
about dinner.
386
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:55,927
Come on, my treat.
387
00:19:55,929 --> 00:19:57,428
We know of
- a Mexican restaurant
388
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,230
where uncle found
the castanets.
389
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:00,631
In Chinatown?
390
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:05,636
Hollywood is a strange
and mysterious place.
391
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,405
So we didn't get
a movie deal.
392
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:10,241
Jackie chan has definitely
made his mark in Hollywood.
393
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:19,884
Hey, Jackie,
394
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,919
have you ever met
anybody famous?
395
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:24,188
One year I was
doing, uh, Oscar.
396
00:20:24,189 --> 00:20:26,457
I was standing
in the green room.
397
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,593
There's so many big stars
in the green room.
398
00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:30,161
I see--wow, John Travolta.
399
00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:31,562
Tom Hanks.
400
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,998
Oh, my god--
Sidney poitier.
401
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,367
I don't know what--
what should I say?
402
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,803
Suddenly,
- there's a voice--
403
00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:40,371
"Jackie chan,
can I shake your hand?
404
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,974
I turn around--
Robin Williams.
405
00:20:42,976 --> 00:20:45,109
He said, "Jackie,
I'm a big fan of yours.
406
00:20:45,111 --> 00:21:17,077
You are great."
That makes me proud.