(Rooster crowing)
Do not look down. Do not look down.
Do not look--
guhh!
Please step inside this nice, cozy magic cage
so that you do not...
Levitate!
Wait! Dark forces wish to steal your magic!
I'm only trying to protect you!
Guess the chicken can fly.
Question is, chan, can you?
Aah!
Can we do that?
Never know till you try.
Whoa!
Now let's go home to--
aah!
I did it!
Uh, way to go?
Give up the bird, chan.
Locked! Whoa!
Try knocking. Maybe somebody'll--
all: Aah!
Jackie?
Ohh. Jade!
You are supposed to be on the--
observation deck.
How did you think I observed you getting creamed?
(Cell phone rings)
Jackie!
Uncle?
Have you found the rooster?
Yes, I just--
good, because a new spell
has revealed the location
of the next magic animal that we seek.
You must meet us where the pig will be found.
Tohru is preparing a magic cage
which will prevent it from activating
it's power of heat beam eyes.
(Sighs) I will change our flight.
Another mission? Where we going this time?
Paris? Moscow? Tahiti?
Arline, Kansas.
Yee-haw.
Hey, Jackie, I think egbert wants to stretch his legs.
We cannot let him out of the cage
until he is safely inside section 13.
So, where's uncle?
Tohru: I do not think this is the interstate, sensei.
Of course it is interstate! Map does not lie!
We came all the way from Malaysia.
How did we arrive first?
Well, uncle may not be here, but the pig is.
Jade, how are we supposed to find it
without uncle's locator spell?
"Local beaut mordecai claimed first prize
at last week's county fair."
Let's give a little hey-howdy-do to our noble oinker.
Remember, do not mention magic.
No one ever believes.
Now, what's a city feller like you
want with a 280-pound Hampshire boar?
Uh, good question, farmer MacDonald.
Um, well, I am an archaeologist, and--
you mean like a eye doctor?
Uh, no, that is an optometrist.
Archaeologists study very old things.
Old? Mordecai ain't turned 3 yet!
Uh...
Let's cut to the chase, mister.
Whatever pigs cost, we'll pay double.
Naw, I could never part with mordecai.
He done so good at county,
I figure he might just fetch a ribbon at the state fair.
'Sides, I know city slicker hogwash when I smells it.
Well, what are we gonna do now, Mr. archaeologist?
You are going back to the motel.
Ohh!
Mordecai?
Rise and shine.
Now come with farmer Jackie.
A dark chi wizard is coming to--
whup!
I don't think this little piggy's going to market.
Jade, you are supposed to be guarding the--
egbert wanted to hang with the other white meat.
Ok, pig.
No more horsing around.
Uh-oh--baah!
Shh! No, it's not-- (Crows)
Ah, sunrise.
Time to milk the...
What in tarnation?!
It's the middle of the night.
MacDonald: You.
Ok, we'll pay you triple,
but that's our final offer.
Buford! E.B.!
We've got ourselves a couple of rustlers.
No, we do not want to rustle.
Yaaah!
Daaah!
They's been stealin' chickens, too!
Unh! Please, can't we just talk about--ooh!
Maybe they don't know how to talk.
My brother e.B. Here graduated Stanford, phi beta kappi!
And buford here is a renowned nuclear physicist.
Whoa! Gah!
Uhh! Guh!
Dr. buford MacDonald?
Your books are very insightful.
Thank you.
Ohh! Uhh!
Where is uncle?
(Tohru sighs)
Perhaps we should stop and ask directions.
Uncle knows how to read map!
Oh. Ow!
Map must be right side up.
Rrr.
(Splutters)
You're wastin' milk!
Oh, man!
Now you're wastin' eggs!
All part of a balanced breakfast!
Whoa!
(Jade gasps)
Uh, Jackie...
Talk later. Wah!
Ain't nobody takin' my pig, Mr. archeologist.
(Crows)
We caught 'em, pa.
Soowee!
(Gasps)
Mordecai!
The pig is gone!
F.Y.I., so's the rooster.
But how?
Maybe now you'll tell me where my pig's up and gone to.
I do not know,
but some very bad men may have taken him.
So, y'all was just decoys, huh?
C'mon, boys. Let's go nab us their pig-rustlin' compadres!
Uh, no! That is not what I meant!
You think daolon wong bagged our barnyard buddies?
If he didn't, the animals are vulnerable to him.
Whoa!
I'm sorry! I owe you a scarecrow!
They're gettin' away!
After 'em! After them!
(Jackie panting)
(Clatter)
Uh...Uh, shoo?
Or n-not.
(Sighs) I think we lost 'em.
Now we just have to--
pork ahoy!
(Squeals and snorts)
Ok, feeding time is over.
Who wants to come with Jackie?
Aah!
Where is uncle?!
Quickly, tohru!
The forces of darkness wait for no man!
(Sighs)
Willy-John, I will marry you when pigs fly!
Jackie: Waaaah!
Over here, Jackie!
Hyuh! Unh!
Yippee-Kai-ya-aa-aa!
Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa!
Jade!
Easy, boy. That's it. Easy.
Come on, egbert. Take us down.
Whoa!
Uhh! Ohh...
MacDonald: Soowee! Mordecai!
Soowee!
I done missed you, too, little feller.
Come on, egbert.
Who's your pal?
I thought gallus domesticus àwas a flightless bird.
And I think a flyin' chicken
wins blue ribbon at the state fair.
(Men clucking)
Them city folks can't even cluck a decent rooster call.
Come on! They have egbert and mordecai!
Where is uncle?!
Uncle: Jackie!
Where is rooster?!
don't mind this here tether, pretty bird.
It's just so's you don't go flyin' off nowhere.
Daolon: The pig and the rooster.
Heh. How kind of you to gather them for me.
For you? Why come all you city fellers
is suddenly after my livestock?
Show 'im the road, boys.
Gan! Ren! Chui!
(Gasps) Ooh!
What city you fellers from, anyhow?
Creatures, surrender your powers
to daolon wong!
Hey!
(Daolon chanting)
Ohh!
Chan.
Tohru!
Hiya!
Daolon: Gan...Ren...Off!
What in Sam hill's nanny is goin' on here?
The animals have magic powers,
and dark forces have come to claim them.
Magic?
Well, why didn't you just say so in the first place?
Ahh. Exterminate the mortals
and bring the beasts to me!
Uh, soowee!
You get your magic butt off of my property, mister.
Magic must defeat magic butt.
(Chanting)
Get him!
Jackie, get those swine!
(Snorts)
Heh. Sorry.
Aiyaa!
Hoowee!
They're defyin' the known laws of physics!
With our house!
Jackie, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
Jade, bring the pig this--whaah!
(Panting)
The house is flying.
Hello? Did you not catch my wizard of oz reference?
There's no place like home...
To kick your butt!
Ok, mordecai, heat beam the bad guys!
Please?
(Hiss)
Uhh!
That'll do, pig.
That'll do.
It's a twister!
(All scream)
Auntie em! Auntie em!
Tornadie!
MacDonald: They're headin' northeast!
Hang a right up at route 41, and we'll--
go straight, tohru!
Route 41 is not on my map!
I don't care if it's on your map
or buford's underpants.
Ah, pa.
Turn right!
- Straight. - Right! - Straight!
Right!
You want a piece of uncle?
Ready to buy the farm, chan?
(Chow groans)
We got your back, Jackie.
Ah, but who has yours?
The power of levitation shall be mi--
(Jackie groans)
Duck, Jackie!
Wah!
My bad.
Grr!
Aah!
Whoa. I made it.
(Clucks)
Talkin' Turkey.
(Chanting)
Egbert!
Mordecai!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Let us go, you power hog!
No! But with the power of the hog,
I shall reduce you both to ashes.
Gah!
Your feeble cage cannot withstand
the burning gaze of my...
Uh...Heat-beam eyes?
My cage is forged of good chi, feeble one!
I will incinerate you... Next time.
Jade: Whoa.
MacDonald: Y'all sure about this?
Absolutely.
After trying to rustle your pig...
And relocating your house to another county...
The least I can do is reward you
with a former flying chicken.
'Sides, pa,
they's demonstratin' a psychological bond.
Yep. They's buddies.
Uncle: Jackie! Time to go!
- Hey, Jackie. - Yes?
What do you do with your free time?
My free time. I don't really have a lot of free time.
I'd rather stay in the office.
I call up all the script writer.
I watch a lot of DVD...
Training, and meeting...
Editing.
Do I have a free time?