Drago: You look tired.
Why don't you knock off early?
Agent: Ooh!
Drago: Now that's what I'm talkin' about!
Demon chi...
And all for me.
Jackie chan, yawning: Oh, Jade,
what are you doing out of--aah!
Drago!
Drago: Did I wake you, sleepyhead?
So sorry!
Jade chan: Hey, Jackie, what are you doing out of--
wha--drago!
(Jackie and Jade grunt)
Jade: Ok, jackienator-- you go left, I'll go right,
and we'll catch drago--
Jackie: Jade, you stay here.
Jade: You can't go in without backup!
Jackie: Hyah! Hut! Haut!
Have you come to section 13 to turn yourself in?
Drago: In your dreams, chan.
Jackie: Uhh!
Uhh!
Drago: I'm here to throw a little barbecue.
(Alarm blares) Huh?
Black: You're surrounded, drago. Game's over.
Drago: Over? I'm just gettin' warmed up.
Jade: Call me crazy, but I'm thinking it's time for a security upgrade.
Drago: Raaahh!
Surrounded!
Outnumbered!
Maybe I shouldn't have gone solo.
But I will not repeat your mistakes, father!
I will find the biggest, baddest henchmen in the world
and fulfill my destiny.
(Jade yawns)
Jade: (Gasp) It's my birthday! Yes!
(Loud yawn)
Oh...There you are!
What's everybody doing?
Black: Is the chi containment unit stable?
Uncle chan: You want demon chi kept safe? Yes?
Then let uncle work without lookie-loos!
Jade: Hello! Anybody wanna say something?
Tohru: Good morning, Jade.
Jade: Is that...All?
don't you know what today is?
Uncle: Hot cha! Very important day!
Day for uncle's hair cut!
Jade: Aw, come on! You know it's my birthday.
Now, for breakfast, I want chocolate chip pancakes
with whipped cream and strawberries and--
Jackie: I'm sorry, Jade.
Things are a little busy around section 13 this morning.
We will have to celebrate your birthday later.
Jade: What?! How much later?
Jackie: Ehh... Just be patient.
Jade: Oh...
Drago, quietly: Next.
(Whipping sounds)
Next.
Next!
Punchy: Duh! Get away! Get away!
Drago: Raaah! You are all pathetic!
I'm looking for henchmen--
bone-crushing, skull-caving henchmen!
I can't believe I'm gonna say this out loud, but...
I never should have fired the enforcers.
Strikemaster ice: Yo, dude.
You seen the rest. Now eyeball the best!
Punchy: Duh!
Henchman: Uhh!
(Buzz) (Smash)
Strikemaster ice: So we got the gig or what?
Drago: What's your name?
Strikemaster ice: They call me strikemaster ice.
This here's my crew-- dj fist,
and mc cobra.
Yo, gecko-boy be buggin'!
Drago: It's near.
Let's go.
Strikemaster ice: Yo, hold up, dog.
Now, we don't work for free.
You want our services, you gots to show some green!
Yizzle!
Drago: You each now have a small piece of my fire demon power--
dragon speed...
Dragon strength...
And dragon breath.
Strikemaster ice: That'll work!
Drago: You're on the clock now
and we have demon chi to claim.
Uncle: The containment unit is unharmed.
Demon chi cannot escape.
Black: I'm installing heat and motion sensors
to make sure our fire-breathing friend can't pay another visit.
Jade: All right, then. Let's get Jade's birthday train back on track.
Hmm...What's first, lunch at pizza burger?
Or maybe I should open my presents!
Tohru: (Giggles) I love birthdays.
Uncle: Aiyaa! Demon chi has been activated!
Jade: No way. Not on my birthday!
Uncle: Dai gui, the earth demon.
Tohru: The flower of the immortals.
The demon chi is trapped within.
Jackie: The coronado bridge in San Diego!
I am sorry, Jade.
Your birthday celebration will have to wait just a little longer.
Jade: That's ok. We can party in San Diego!
Jackie: Uh... It's too dangerous.
You will stay here.
Jade: That's not right.
You can't dis the birthday girl.
Uncle: Demon chi is very close.
Jackie: Then all we have to do is find the...
Flower.
Jade: Hey, Jackie!
Jackie: Aah!
Uncle: Demon chi is in this room.
Florist: Ahem! May I help you?
Jackie: Uh, it's a flower freshness detector.
My uncle is very picky.
Drago: So am I. I want a flower that smells like demon chi.
(All gasp)
Tohru: Drago.
Jackie: And... Strikemaster ice?
Jade: Hey, pizza-face got a drago makeover!
Strikemaster ice: Yo dog, you didn't say nothin' about puttin' the hurt on chan.
First day on the job and we're already gettin' a bonus.
(Attack cries and grunting)
Drago: Chi loves me... Chi loves me not.
Jade: (Gasps) Hurry, uncle!
Jackie: Uhh!
Strikemaster ice: Yo, start pickin' out flowers, chan, for your funer--
ah-ah-ah-choo!
Jackie: Bless you?
Strikemaster ice: Ah-choo!
Whoo! Ah-choo!
Ah-choo!
Jackie: You must be allergic.
Strikemaster ice: Ah-choo!
Jackie: Bless you.
(Flower pots crashing)
Jackie: Bless you.
Strikemaster ice: Ah-choo!
Uncle: No, no.
Strikemaster ice: Ah-choo!
Uncle: No...No...
Uncle: Hot cha!
Drago: For me? You shouldn't have.
Jade: Hee-yah!
I picked this for you.
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue- guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue- guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Tohru: Uhh!
Strikemaster ice: Ah--
uncle: Yu-mo-gue- guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue- guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Drago: No!
Uhh!
Florist: My hydrangeas!
Uncle: Jackie, pay nice man.
Jade: Now that we have the flower power,
it's time to party down!
I'm still the birthday girl for 10 more hours.
Jackie: We'll be back home in time for a big birthday dinner.
Uncle: Aiyaa!
Jackie: Huh?
Jade: Oh, no!
Uncle: Moon demon tso LAN?
Lotus pod?
One more chi is nearby!
Turn car around!
Tohru: 2 demon chi powers on the same day?
Jade: Figures.
Tohru: I'm sorry, Jade.
You know we would all prefer to celebrate your birthday.
Jade: (Sighs) Whatever.
Drago: Was that a joke back there?
Did I hire clowns?
I give you powers beyond your wildest imagination
and you amateurs can't get past an archaeologist,
a tub of guts, an old man, and a little girl?!
Strikemaster ice: Yo, he's buggin' again!
Drago: You three are about to get a second chance.
Tohru: I know it isn't much, but happy birthday.
Jade: Oh, thanks, t.
Uncle: Moon demon chi is there!
(Drago growls and Jackie, Jade, uncle, and tohru gasp)
Jackie: Jade, stay here.
Jade: Oh!
Drago: Smells like chi spirit.
Jade: Step away from the lotus pod!
Jackie: Jade!
Jade: I'm your backup, remember?
Tohru: The demon chi stays. You go.
Drago: We'll see about that.
What? It was here a second ago.
Uncle: Moon demon chi-- control over gravity.
(Drago snarls)
Jade: Uncle, let's bring the "floater"
back down to earth.
Tohru: Uhh!
Uhh!
Ooh!
Jade: Hey, boy, come over here!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue- guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Jade: Mmm! Cotton candy! Yummy in your tummy!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue- guai-fie-Dee--
Jade: No hitchhiking!
Drago: I'll come back for you later.
Jackie: Whoooooa!
Uhh!
Tohru: Uh...Whoops.
Jackie: Which way did they go?
Bwaa!
Bad day, bad day, bad day!
Bad day, bad--bad day!
Jade: Uncle!
Uncle: Leave Chinese Bear alone!
(Fist, cobra, ice, and drago scream)
(Seals clapping)
Jackie: Nice panda, come to--
wh-whooaaa!
Jade: Jackie!
Jackie: Whooaaa--oof!
Good catch, tohru.
Jade: Step on it, t!
Jackie: don't worry, we'll bring it back later! Thank you!
Jade: Whoa! The panda's going all moony.
Uncle: Panda will return to normal once the demon chi is removed.
Jade: Hey, boy, trade ya!
Cotton candy for that yucky demon chi!
Uncle and tohru: Yu-mo- gue-guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai- fie-Dee-tsao.
Jade: Yes! And now it's time for Jade's birthday bash!
Uncle: Uncle was afraid of this.
Tohru: Sensei?
Uncle: Chi-o-matic can only hold one power at a time!
Drago: Fore!
Now that is some serious hang time!
Uncle: Jackie! Drago must not obtain earth demon chi!
You must become living vessel.
Jade: Ooh! Ooh! Let me be the living vessel!
I can handle it. I have experience.
Come on, it's my birthday!
Drago: It's a 2-for-1 special.
Noooooo!
Jackie: Ooh, tingly.
Uncle: Jackie! Do not let drago touch you!
He will try to drain demon chi!
Drago: Oh, I won't just touch you, chan.
I'll rip you apart!
Jackie: Did I do that?
Uncle: Of course!
Why do you think it is called earth demon chi?
Jade: You dine with the t, you get a helping of the j.
Strikemaster ice: Yo, shortstop,
why don't you let the grown-ups handle this, a-ight?
Jade: Afraid I'll whoop your butts again?
Strikemaster ice: You got the crust, little lady.
Let's see if you got the sauce.
Whoa!
Drago: Hey, chan...Catch!
(Jackie coughs)
Jackie: Uncle! Have you fixed the chi-o-matic?
Uncle: Do not rush uncle!
Drago: Fire in the hole!
Jackie: Aah!
Drago: All that digging must have made you thirsty, chan.
How about a little juice?
Tingly.
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue- guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Drago: No!
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue- guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai- fie-Dee-tsao.
(Rumbling and crackling)
Strikemaster ice: Yo, ice gonna bring the heat!
Jade: And this is for ruining my birthday!
Hee-yah!
Come on, yin-Yang, let's get you home.
(Footsteps)
Strikemaster ice: Yo, d, a little hizzle?
(Drago roars)
Uncle: Yu-mo-gue- guai-fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai- fie-Dee-tsao.
Yu-mo-gue-guai-fie- Dee-tsao.
Black: 4 down, 4 to go.
Jackie: And someone is still the birthday girl for 4 more minutes.
(Jade snoring)
Jackie: Shh. She is sleeping.
Jade: Hey Jackie, is there a yin and Yang to your personality?
Jackie: Yin-Yang. I think everybody have a yin-Yang.
Yin-Yang. Sometimes I feel I'm very strong,
but sometimes I do feel I'm very weak.
In my body, the Yang always want to beat the ying.
Sometimes when I'm doing a stunt,
this side tell me, "dangerous,"
but another side tell me, "no, you can do it."
So, this way, I do have a yin-Yang, yes.