1
00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:08,533
( Theme music playing )

2
00:00:13,933 --> 00:00:17,633
( Shoes squeaking )

3
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Man: How do thosefeel to you?

4
00:00:24,267 --> 00:00:26,733
Well, they feel pretty good.

5
00:00:26,767 --> 00:00:28,200
I kinda like these orthotics.

6
00:00:28,233 --> 00:00:31,467
Yeah, they're really
going to help.

7
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,000
Boy, they sure
make a lot of noise.

8
00:00:36,033 --> 00:00:38,400
They take a while to work in.

9
00:00:44,167 --> 00:00:47,833
( Singing in Hebrew )

10
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,700
Ah, jesús!

11
00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:55,067
How are you?

12
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,033
- Everything okay?
- Si.

13
00:00:59,067 --> 00:01:01,633
Yeah? You seem a little down.

14
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:03,433
- No, I-i okay.
- You okay?

15
00:01:03,467 --> 00:01:05,867
- Si.
- Can you do me a favor?

16
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Small favor, okay?

17
00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:10,333
Small favor...
It's hardly even a favor.

18
00:01:10,367 --> 00:01:12,309
You work here, actually,
so it's part of your job.

19
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,367
Either way, it's still
a favor. Okay.

20
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,933
So I got, uh... see this thing?

21
00:01:17,967 --> 00:01:19,600
It's a mezuzah.

22
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Got that? And I need you

23
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to put it over the door here.

24
00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:27,700
This is like a Jewish thing.

25
00:01:27,733 --> 00:01:29,267
You know, we put it
over the door

26
00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:33,200
so every anti-semite in the neighborhood
will know that we live here

27
00:01:33,233 --> 00:01:34,867
in case they wanna
burn down the house.

28
00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:38,267
Anyway, you just need a nail.
Get a nail, hammer and a nail,

29
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- put it up.
- Si, mezuzah.

30
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Yeah, mezuzah. I don't... I don't
know what it does, really.

31
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But anyway, because my
father's coming to visit,

32
00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:48,100
he'll be upset if he
doesn't see it up there.

33
00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:49,409
He's a little hard-of-hearing,
so when you talk to him,

34
00:01:49,433 --> 00:01:52,767
talk loud.
He's losing his hearing.

35
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,400
- Okay?
- Okay.

36
00:01:54,433 --> 00:01:55,743
So you just speak up
a little bit...

37
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( loudly ) "hello, hello?"

38
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- You know.
- ( Loudly ) "hello?"

39
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:01,567
Hello?" - yeah, "how
do you feel, Mr. David?"

40
00:02:03,867 --> 00:02:05,867
"How do you feel, Mr. David?"

41
00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:08,367
That's good. That's good, jesús.

42
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By the way, jesús...
Jesus... either one?

43
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Either one, si. It's okay.

44
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- Same thing.
- Si.

45
00:02:15,967 --> 00:02:17,733
Okay, okay.

46
00:02:17,767 --> 00:02:20,400
- I do mezuzah.
- Okay, great.

47
00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:23,833
What ha... what
happened to your leg?

48
00:02:23,867 --> 00:02:27,067
It hurts on the bottom
of my feet.

49
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:29,066
I have the exact same thing!

50
00:02:29,067 --> 00:02:31,500
Do you want your life
changed, Jesus?

51
00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:33,200
Huh? Okay.

52
00:02:33,233 --> 00:02:35,900
See this?
It's called an orthotic.

53
00:02:35,933 --> 00:02:39,200
Just put 'em in the bottom
of your shoe,

54
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and that's it.

55
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No no no, I do the mezuzah...

56
00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:43,733
- Huh?
- ( speaks Spanish )

57
00:02:43,767 --> 00:02:45,600
- Try them on!
- Tell them, Maria.

58
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,367
Honey, what could it hurt?

59
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It make you feel better.

60
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Okay.
- All right, okay, there you go.

61
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- Okay.
- It's a good idea. Gracias, Mr. Larry.

62
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- De nada.
- Thank you.

63
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:02,667
De nada.* de nada.

64
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:06,567
( Shoes continue squeaking )

65
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,433
- What is that noise?
- I don't know.

66
00:03:09,467 --> 00:03:10,667
- Hey.
- Is that you?

67
00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:13,533
- What?
- What's that noise?

68
00:03:13,567 --> 00:03:14,867
Oh, the orthotics.

69
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:16,267
- Ugh...
- what?

70
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,067
- It's loud!
- Well, you gotta break 'em in.

71
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:20,367
It takes a little time.

72
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,933
They're really loud.

73
00:03:21,967 --> 00:03:23,543
Well, they're very good for my
feet, I could tell you that.

74
00:03:23,567 --> 00:03:26,167
- My feet feel a lot better.
- That's good.

75
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,800
Let me ask you something:

76
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:31,100
Why is it that
before you have a meal,

77
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you do the whole cross thing,
but not for a snack.

78
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I don't think
it applies to snacks.

79
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I guess, otherwise you'd be
crossing all day long.

80
00:03:39,367 --> 00:03:41,867
There's gotta be
a maximum number

81
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:43,633
of times somebody
can cross in a day.

82
00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:46,066
Uh, I wonder what the record is.

83
00:03:46,067 --> 00:03:48,200
Have you ever seen
any crossing on a snack, ever?

84
00:03:48,233 --> 00:03:49,767
- I don't think so.
- Excuse me.

85
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I'm gonna be on the lookoutfor
people who crossbefore snacking.

86
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What's that?

87
00:03:54,533 --> 00:03:55,600
- This?
- Yeah.

88
00:03:55,633 --> 00:03:56,967
This is a nail.

89
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I bought this on the Internet.

90
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It's from "the passion
of the Christ."

91
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:03,867
What, are you kidding?

92
00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:06,533
No.

93
00:04:06,567 --> 00:04:08,309
Kind of interesting... - you
got one of those Christ nails

94
00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:10,367
- from the movie?
- Mm-hmm, yep.

95
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:11,267
Have you seen it?

96
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:13,700
I didn't see it.

97
00:04:13,733 --> 00:04:15,276
All right, you must... -
missed "passion of the Christ."

98
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:18,100
- We have it on DVD.
- Wish I could have gone.

99
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:19,576
They have all kinds of
things in the Internet

100
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:20,843
for "the passion of the Christ."

101
00:04:20,867 --> 00:04:22,476
You're nuts about this
Jesus guy, aren't you?

102
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Yeah, I have a personal
relationship with Christ.

103
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,333
- Really?
- Yeah.

104
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,533
I can see worshipping Jesus
if he were a girl.

105
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:32,200
Like if god had a daughter...
Jane. I'll worship a Jane.

106
00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:35,167
No. - But, you know,
to worship a guy...

107
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,476
It's like a little
kinda, you know,

108
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:37,467
it's a little gay, isn't it?

109
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- Okay.
- The son of god!

110
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- What's the matter with you?
- No, I'm just saying.

111
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A girl... I would worship Jane...

112
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If he had a daughter Jane,

113
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I could have a
relationshipwith a Jane.

114
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- He didn't have a daughter!
- It's a shame it wasn't a girl.

115
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That's all I have to say.

116
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- Good-looking woman, zaftig, you know?
- Okay.

117
00:04:53,067 --> 00:04:55,633
- Good sense of humor.
- No no no.

118
00:04:55,667 --> 00:04:57,667
- We got it.
- If he had a daughter, everybody...

119
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- everybody would worship Jane.
- Stop it.

120
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,433
That's all I'm saying.

121
00:05:25,633 --> 00:05:28,133
- Larry?
- What?

122
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,300
What are you doing?

123
00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:33,066
- What-what are you doing?
- What? Nothing.

124
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:36,067
I was... your bra was kind
of... it was about to fall off

125
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:38,066
and I was... I was
putting it back on.

126
00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:40,467
All right, and...

127
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:43,167
I felt like
you were looking at...

128
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,900
My size.

129
00:05:45,933 --> 00:05:47,967
Oh, um...

130
00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:49,333
I...

131
00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:51,100
Well...

132
00:05:52,733 --> 00:05:55,066
I didn't deliberately
set out to look at the size,

133
00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:56,900
but I was...
I had the bra in my hand,

134
00:05:56,933 --> 00:06:00,500
and it's kind of like, you know,
if you have a driver's license

135
00:06:00,533 --> 00:06:02,533
you check out the date
of birth. That's all.

136
00:06:02,567 --> 00:06:05,233
- Okay.
- I checked it out.

137
00:06:05,267 --> 00:06:06,433
And what'd you think?

138
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:09,600
Yeah...

139
00:06:09,633 --> 00:06:11,066
Okay, it was good.

140
00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:13,600
Um...

141
00:06:13,633 --> 00:06:15,800
Well, while we're
on the subject,

142
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:19,633
uh, I think we're gonna
have to let Maria go.

143
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:21,667
- I cannot...
- Really?

144
00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:25,900
Stand to watch her
clean room to room

145
00:06:25,933 --> 00:06:28,367
without a bra.
It's very distracting.

146
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,066
I know, but that's a big move.

147
00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:32,066
You know, why don't you just
tell her to put a bra on?

148
00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:34,100
I'm not gonna have that
conversation with someone.

149
00:06:34,133 --> 00:06:35,900
I would rather
just get rid of her.

150
00:06:35,933 --> 00:06:37,667
- We'll find somebody else.
- Really?

151
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:40,433
First of all, she makes
the best chicken salad.

152
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,667
I would really miss that.

153
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:45,500
Well, Larry, then you're gonna
have to tell her to wear a bra

154
00:06:45,533 --> 00:06:47,500
or fire her.

155
00:06:50,567 --> 00:06:52,543
If I see... - all right,
I'll tell... I'll tell her.

156
00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:53,876
- I'll tell her to put the bra on.
- Okay.

157
00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:56,467
I'll talk to her. I'll
talk to her, no problem.

158
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,700
- Okay.
- Okay?

159
00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,733
- All right.
- I got it.

160
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,633
- You done with this?
- Yeah, I am.

161
00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:03,233
You done?

162
00:07:09,433 --> 00:07:11,833
( Shoes squeaking )

163
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,867
Oh hi, I thought you were jesús!

164
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:17,333
- Jesús!
- Yeah.

165
00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:19,433
- No kidding.
- Yeah, his shoes are like your shoes.

166
00:07:19,467 --> 00:07:21,400
- Yeah?
- Yeah, they're very loud.

167
00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:23,066
They make a lot of noise.
You gotta break them in.

168
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,633
Yeah, but his feet
feel really good.

169
00:07:24,667 --> 00:07:26,200
- They're better?
- Si, yeah.

170
00:07:26,233 --> 00:07:27,833
- Fantastic!
- Yeah, thank you.

171
00:07:27,867 --> 00:07:29,176
- That's unbelievable.
- It's good.

172
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,733
- They fit and everything?
- Mm-hmm!

173
00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:32,400
- Is he happy?
- Yes.

174
00:07:32,433 --> 00:07:34,633
'Cause you know,
between you and me,

175
00:07:34,667 --> 00:07:38,700
- he could be quite a downer this guy, this jesús.
- Yes, I know.

176
00:07:38,733 --> 00:07:39,567
He's good.

177
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,433
- Maria?
- Yeah?

178
00:07:41,467 --> 00:07:44,600
Uh, I got a little thing
I need to talk about with you.

179
00:07:44,633 --> 00:07:46,067
Okay.

180
00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:49,567
Cheryl and I were having a
conversation the other night.

181
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,467
Well, last night, actually.

182
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,567
You know, we couldn't
help but notice

183
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,567
that, uh, you don't
wear a, uh...

184
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,100
Bra.

185
00:07:59,133 --> 00:08:01,167
Oh, no. Don't like 'em.

186
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,200
Not for me.

187
00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:03,833
- Not for you?
- No.

188
00:08:03,867 --> 00:08:06,066
Hmm.

189
00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:08,900
Because, you know I got
my father-in-law here.

190
00:08:08,933 --> 00:08:10,833
- Mmm hmm?
- They're kind of distracting.

191
00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:12,267
Distracting?

192
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,400
Yeah, a lot of
flopping going on.

193
00:08:14,433 --> 00:08:17,267
- No, they don't flop...
- There's floppin'!

194
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:20,333
Don't like the support things,
they're uncomfortable.

195
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,300
I haven't worn one in 15 years.

196
00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:27,100
They've made some great technological
advances in bras in 15 years.

197
00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:29,667
They're inviting
and cozy and cottony.

198
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:30,933
What do you call that cotton?

199
00:08:30,967 --> 00:08:33,567
Puma? That's a sneaker.

200
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,967
All right... Pima! Pima!

201
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:38,267
No, I don't like 'em.

202
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,067
- You don't like 'em.
- Mmm mmm.

203
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,767
All right, I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do for you.

204
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,176
I'm gonna buy you a bra,
how about that?

205
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,443
I'll buy you one, you'll try it,

206
00:08:45,467 --> 00:08:47,076
you'll put it on, you'll see
what I'm talking about.

207
00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:49,300
My treat.

208
00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:51,067
- Okay, I'll try it.
- You'll try it!

209
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:53,400
I'll just try it on
and let's see.

210
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,967
I'm gonna get you a bra.

211
00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:02,733
Larry: Where are you?

212
00:09:02,767 --> 00:09:04,467
Jeff: I'm in the kitchen.

213
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,900
( Shoes squeak )

214
00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:09,533
What the hell is that?

215
00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:10,933
Oh, my orthotics.

216
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,533
What's the story with that?

217
00:09:12,567 --> 00:09:14,209
Well, I got these new
orthotics, you know...

218
00:09:14,233 --> 00:09:16,143
- is it always gonna sound that way?
- You need to break 'em in.

219
00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:18,367
- Okay...
- But my foot?

220
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:19,900
- Yeah?
- Good night, nurse.

221
00:09:19,933 --> 00:09:21,333
- Really?
- Yeah.

222
00:09:21,367 --> 00:09:24,300
- How about that? Congratulations.
- Thank you.

223
00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:27,333
- Thank you.
- Beer?

224
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,733
- Hmmm. Maybe later.
- All right, well, if you want one,

225
00:09:29,767 --> 00:09:31,533
I haven't been able
to find my can opener.

226
00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:35,667
I'm telling you something.
I got a housekeeper who steals.

227
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:39,300
- Really?
- Oh yeah.

228
00:09:39,333 --> 00:09:40,909
So it's just a can opener,
you might not think it's much.

229
00:09:40,933 --> 00:09:43,200
But everything I look for, gone!

230
00:09:43,233 --> 00:09:45,567
- Why don't you fire her?
- 'Cause I don't know for sure.

231
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:46,900
But I'm pretty sure.

232
00:09:46,933 --> 00:09:49,200
- Gee, I hate to hear that.
- I know, it's horrible.

233
00:09:49,233 --> 00:09:53,800
Of course, my housekeeper, I
had to tell her to wear a bra.

234
00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:55,409
You had to tell yourhousekeeper
to wear a bra?

235
00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:59,233
I am buying her...
I have to buy her a bra.

236
00:09:59,267 --> 00:10:01,800
I just don't know
what size she is.

237
00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:04,300
Susie: Honey...

238
00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:07,400
- Sammi's last tooth finally fell out.
- Oh, great, great!

239
00:10:07,433 --> 00:10:08,567
Look at that, huh?

240
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,500
Yeah, tooth fairy'll
be coming tonight.

241
00:10:10,533 --> 00:10:12,767
Wait a second, what is this?

242
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,300
What, tooth fairy.

243
00:10:14,333 --> 00:10:15,900
- Tooth fairy?
- Both: Yeah.

244
00:10:15,933 --> 00:10:17,867
What, are you kidding?
She's like 11 years old.

245
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:21,233
It's none of your
god damn business, Larry.

246
00:10:21,267 --> 00:10:23,833
Her tooth falls out,
we stick it under her pillow.

247
00:10:23,867 --> 00:10:26,100
She still believes
in the tooth fairy?

248
00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:29,100
Yes, she still believes.
What's the matter with that?

249
00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:30,667
- Really?
- Yeah.

250
00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:33,333
Jesus Christ, I'm shocked.

251
00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:36,333
What's so shocking? You
don't understand children.

252
00:10:36,367 --> 00:10:38,500
You don't know child psychology,

253
00:10:38,533 --> 00:10:40,133
and what they believe
and don't believe.

254
00:10:40,167 --> 00:10:41,767
- I guess I don't.
- No!

255
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,776
I knew there was no tooth fairy
even before my teeth fell out.

256
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,500
Really? Maybe that's
whatyour problem is.

257
00:10:45,533 --> 00:10:48,067
Maybe if you had faith
or a belief in something

258
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:52,433
you wouldn't have ended up
the way you did, you know?

259
00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:53,600
What are you looking at?

260
00:10:53,633 --> 00:10:56,433
What? No, nothing.

261
00:10:56,467 --> 00:10:58,033
All right. Thanks for your help.

262
00:10:58,067 --> 00:11:00,367
Yeah, my pleasure.
It's always something.

263
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,133
Do me a favor? For the rest of
the night, just leave us alone.

264
00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:05,633
- Fine, my pleasure.
- Thank you.

265
00:11:05,667 --> 00:11:08,733
- You know what?
- What?

266
00:11:08,767 --> 00:11:12,600
I think she's about the same
size as Maria my housekeeper.

267
00:11:12,633 --> 00:11:14,400
- Really?
- Yeah.

268
00:11:14,433 --> 00:11:17,300
- You know what size she is?
- No. I can find out.

269
00:11:17,333 --> 00:11:18,900
- Would you?
- Sure.

270
00:11:18,933 --> 00:11:21,867
- Thank you, thank you.
- Do you know what Cheryl's size is?

271
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:25,233
I just found out, and I
gotta tell you something.

272
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:27,267
- A little disappointed.
- Really?

273
00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:29,367
What, "b" cup?

274
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,367
- I'd rather not say.
- "C"?

275
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,100
- I can't, you know...
- 32? 34?

276
00:11:33,133 --> 00:11:34,543
- I don't want to talk about it.
- Come on.

277
00:11:34,567 --> 00:11:35,609
I don't want to talk about it.

278
00:11:35,633 --> 00:11:37,267
- Come on!
- No!

279
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:40,300
I'm giving you susie's bra size,
give me Cheryl's bra size.

280
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:44,467
- It's a trade.
- I can't, I don't want to.

281
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:48,100
You don't tell me Cheryl's,
I ain't telling you susie's.

282
00:11:48,133 --> 00:11:50,633
- Okay. Fine.
- Okay. Fine.

283
00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:51,776
I'm not the one who has
to go out and buy a bra.

284
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,767
- I don't ve a shit.
- Oh, yeah, you do.

285
00:11:56,767 --> 00:11:59,333
It's unbelievable, isn't it?

286
00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:01,409
- I could be general manager of a basketball team.
- No, you couldn't.

287
00:12:01,433 --> 00:12:04,167
- I could put together a better team...
- you could not.

288
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,867
- Don't tell me I couldn't!
- You don't have a clue.

289
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,409
Half the things you say
here on the couch...

290
00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:11,233
I know as much about
basketball as these idiots.

291
00:12:11,267 --> 00:12:12,933
I just need the opportunity.

292
00:12:12,967 --> 00:12:14,467
That's all, just
the opportunity.

293
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:17,833
A young, fresh kid out of college
just needs the opportunity.

294
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:20,433
I do! I know I could do it.

295
00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:23,300
- Where you going?
- Bathroom.

296
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,100
( Shoes squeaking )

297
00:13:09,267 --> 00:13:11,700
( Toilet flushes )

298
00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:19,333
( Shoes squeaking )

299
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:25,900
( Squeaking grows louder )

300
00:13:25,933 --> 00:13:28,433
What are you doing? What are
you doing with that money?

301
00:13:28,467 --> 00:13:31,167
I was checking to make sure
the tooth fairy left it.

302
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,300
You're lying! You're a liar!
You're the tooth fairy!

303
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:34,600
There is no tooth fairy!

304
00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:39,300
- There is a tooth fairy.
- You're lying! It's you!

305
00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:40,267
I'm gonna kill him!

306
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,433
It's you!
You're the tooth fairy!

307
00:13:42,467 --> 00:13:44,067
- You know what you just did?
- What?

308
00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:48,567
Sammi caught me putting
the money under her pillow.

309
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,500
Because you woke her up with
those things in your shoes,

310
00:13:51,533 --> 00:13:53,833
- and now she knows that I'm the tooth fairy.
- Really?

311
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,066
- The shoes woke her up?
- Yes, the shoes woke her up!

312
00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:59,066
She knows that there's no
tooth fairy now!

313
00:13:59,067 --> 00:14:01,067
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, you're sorry?

314
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:02,800
I'm her mother! Trust!

315
00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:05,467
I know, but it had
to happen eventually.

316
00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:09,633
You know, you're a stupid fucking idiot!
I cannot listen to this!

317
00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:12,900
Jeff, do you hear this?
"It had to happen eventually."

318
00:14:12,933 --> 00:14:15,309
- What had to happen?
- His orthotics, whatever the hell they are,

319
00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:18,800
- the noise woke Sammi up.
- What's with your farchadat shoes?

320
00:14:18,833 --> 00:14:20,543
I told you it takes
a while to break 'em in.

321
00:14:20,567 --> 00:14:22,833
What are you breaking 'em in
in my house for? It's crazy!

322
00:14:22,867 --> 00:14:25,500
Uh, you know...

323
00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:27,467
Let me just posit this, okay?

324
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,333
It might be a blessing
in disguise.

325
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:32,066
How? - The kid's 11
years old, already.

326
00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:33,176
Enough with the tooth fairy!

327
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,900
Not your business, Larry,
you misanthropic moron!

328
00:14:35,933 --> 00:14:38,300
Not for you to judge!
She's our kid,

329
00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:40,800
we decide when she knows
about the tooth fairy!

330
00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:43,633
Maybe you shouldn't have
propagated this ridiculous myth!

331
00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,167
Get the fuck out of my house!

332
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,700
- You sure?
- Yes!

333
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:53,833
( Shoes squeaking )

334
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:01,733
( Shoes squeaking )

335
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,066
Hey, what's going on?

336
00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:12,567
What is it?

337
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,767
Larry, get rid of
those orthotics!

338
00:15:18,367 --> 00:15:20,433
Now I'll never
get back to sleep!

339
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:40,400
May I help you?

340
00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:43,367
Yes, hi, um...

341
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,133
Yeah, I'm interested in, um...

342
00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:47,367
In buying a, uh...

343
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,100
bra.

344
00:15:49,133 --> 00:15:51,400
- For your...
- It's not for me, no.

345
00:15:51,433 --> 00:15:53,800
For your sweetheart or your wife?
Girlfriend?

346
00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:56,200
Actually, my housekeeper.

347
00:15:56,233 --> 00:15:58,300
Oh, housekeeper, okay.

348
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,233
I'm not making it up.
It's really not for me.

349
00:16:00,267 --> 00:16:02,200
Fine, no it's not...
Of course it's not for you.

350
00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:05,433
- Tell me you believe me.
- I believe you, of course not!

351
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:07,933
- Not that there's anything wrong with it.
- No...

352
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,700
But there is something
wrong with it.

353
00:16:09,733 --> 00:16:11,843
- There's a lot wrong with it.
- You can't say that in this day and age.

354
00:16:11,867 --> 00:16:13,933
I like to walk around
with underwear on my head.

355
00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:16,633
Is there something wrong
with that?

356
00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:18,609
- Yeah, there's something wrong with that.
- That's very funny.

357
00:16:18,633 --> 00:16:21,066
- So you really do need a bra, then?
- Yes.

358
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:23,667
Something comfortable. She
hasn't worn one in 15 years.

359
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:26,600
- Not a French maid outfit?
- No, it's not a Lacey French maid outfit.

360
00:16:26,633 --> 00:16:29,833
- 'Cause we have lots of those.
- This feels very nice.

361
00:16:29,867 --> 00:16:33,067
- Yes, this is our revolutionary "elasticene."
- Yeah.

362
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:35,066
- This is the one...
- Lovely.

363
00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:37,200
This is the best bra we make.

364
00:16:37,233 --> 00:16:39,400
It's so soft, I like that.
I like that.

365
00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:43,167
- In fact, this one...
- I wonder if they make underwear out of this stuff.

366
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,333
They do.
We have matching panties.

367
00:16:45,367 --> 00:16:47,300
No, for me, for men.

368
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:49,833
See, that's what I'm saying.

369
00:16:49,867 --> 00:16:53,233
Feel free to try on anything
here that you want.

370
00:16:53,267 --> 00:16:54,500
Are you out of your mind?

371
00:16:54,533 --> 00:16:56,800
I'm not saying it's for me.
It's not for me.

372
00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:59,767
I'm just saying this kind
of foamy, soft material

373
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:04,233
- would be nice down there for me.
- It's so smooth, yes.

374
00:17:04,267 --> 00:17:05,733
That doesn't make me
a pervert...

375
00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:07,109
There's nothing perverted
about it!

376
00:17:07,133 --> 00:17:09,309
Just 'cause I want to wear
underwear made out of a bra.

377
00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:11,967
Let's figure out
what this woman has...

378
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,567
Got a good selection
for you here.

379
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,066
And the only issue,
of course, is the size,

380
00:17:20,067 --> 00:17:23,700
which I have to say I didn't
really know your size.

381
00:17:23,733 --> 00:17:26,067
I got a feeling I think
I nailed it.

382
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:27,233
I really do!

383
00:17:27,267 --> 00:17:29,267
Okay, try them all on.

384
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:30,700
- All right?
- Thank you, Mr. David.

385
00:17:30,733 --> 00:17:32,333
All right, you're welcome.

386
00:17:35,733 --> 00:17:39,267
( Shoes squeaking )

387
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,300
Hey.

388
00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:45,233
You're a sick fuck,
you know that?

389
00:17:45,267 --> 00:17:46,900
What are you talking about?

390
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:50,200
What are we talking about? Our
housekeeper's been stealing, Larry,

391
00:17:50,233 --> 00:17:52,167
so we installed cameras
throughout the house.

392
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,933
Laundry room.
I looked at the tape.

393
00:17:59,267 --> 00:18:00,900
Susie: Quite a show, Larry.

394
00:18:00,933 --> 00:18:02,233
Look familiar?

395
00:18:02,267 --> 00:18:04,433
Larry: So, I'm looking
at the size of it.

396
00:18:04,467 --> 00:18:06,667
I needed to buy a bra
for the housekeeper,

397
00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:09,067
and it seemed like
you two were the same size.

398
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,409
So I needed to find out
what your size was!

399
00:18:10,433 --> 00:18:12,733
And what's all this mincing around?
What is this?

400
00:18:12,767 --> 00:18:14,933
Larry: I was trying to imagine
what it would be like

401
00:18:14,967 --> 00:18:17,066
to be the housekeeper
and have those breasts

402
00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:19,367
you know, working
and doing dishes.

403
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,800
Susie: And how did that
feel? Did it feel good?

404
00:18:21,833 --> 00:18:24,533
This is how your housekeeper
washes dishes, like this?

405
00:18:24,567 --> 00:18:28,633
Huh? That's what she does? She dances,
mincing around, washing dishes?

406
00:18:28,667 --> 00:18:30,200
Why are you looking
at her breasts?

407
00:18:30,233 --> 00:18:33,967
I don't understand why you would
walk into her laundry room

408
00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:35,633
and start rifling
through her underwear.

409
00:18:35,667 --> 00:18:38,300
I just happened to see
the bra there, so I thought,

410
00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:42,133
hey look at that, she seems to
be about the same size as Maria!

411
00:18:42,167 --> 00:18:44,667
That's what you're doing?
Staring at everyone's breasts?

412
00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:47,343
- Yeah, exactly!
- No, I knew I had to buy her a bra and I thought...

413
00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:50,667
Why are you buying her a bra!
You don't have to.

414
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,243
You're the one who made me get a
bra for her in the first place!

415
00:18:52,267 --> 00:18:55,300
I never said go buy her a bra!
What is wrong with you?

416
00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:57,600
You wanted her to put a bra
on, and I was just fine...

417
00:18:57,633 --> 00:19:00,100
Cheryl: You don't
walkaround looking...

418
00:19:00,133 --> 00:19:03,133
It's disgusting. Keep you goddamn
hands off my brassiere, okay?

419
00:19:03,167 --> 00:19:04,833
This isn't the first time
it's happened.

420
00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:08,700
The other day he's rifling through
my things looking at my labels.

421
00:19:08,733 --> 00:19:10,167
We've been married 11 years.

422
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,700
So I took a little peek
at her bra size, big deal.

423
00:19:12,733 --> 00:19:14,733
So sue me! Lock me up!

424
00:19:14,767 --> 00:19:16,800
Pervert! You sick fuck pervert!

425
00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:18,633
You have some fetish
about bras...

426
00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:21,233
Oh get out of here! Fetish...

427
00:19:21,267 --> 00:19:22,700
I don't know what
the hell it is,

428
00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:25,600
but it's sick and you better
fix those goddamn shoes too!

429
00:19:25,633 --> 00:19:28,167
'Cause you know what he did? He
woke Sammi up the other night,

430
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,233
I was putting money under her
pillow because her tooth fell out.

431
00:19:31,267 --> 00:19:32,776
She caught me, now she knows
there's no tooth fairy.

432
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,767
Yes, because there is
no fucking tooth fairy!

433
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,733
- It's time she learned that!
- None of your business!

434
00:19:40,233 --> 00:19:41,700
Where have you been?

435
00:19:41,733 --> 00:19:43,933
Bra shopping.

436
00:19:56,567 --> 00:20:00,267
- Okay, Mr. Larry?
- Ahh!

437
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,033
- It's nice?
- Very nice!

438
00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:04,267
- It's good, huh?
- Very nice indeed!

439
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:05,867
- I like it!
- You like it?

440
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,367
It's nice, it feels good.

441
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,533
- Good.
- Yeah, it feels nice.

442
00:20:10,567 --> 00:20:11,767
What's with him?

443
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,867
Oh, he didn't get a lot
of sleep last night.

444
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:17,300
He was woken up and now
he's very tired today.

445
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:20,200
- Mmm.
- Yeah.

446
00:20:20,233 --> 00:20:22,533
What's the mezuzah
doing over there?

447
00:20:22,567 --> 00:20:24,743
My father's gonna freak out.
He's gonna be here any minute.

448
00:20:24,767 --> 00:20:26,267
Why didn't Jesus
put the mezuzah up?

449
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:30,467
Oh, jesús was very upset that you
were talking about my breasts

450
00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:32,467
and wanting to buy a bra for me,

451
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:35,667
so he said, "Mr. David
can go fuck himself."

452
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:39,433
That's what jesús said?

453
00:20:39,467 --> 00:20:41,767
Yeah, he was mad.

454
00:20:49,533 --> 00:20:51,700
My father's pulling up!
Where's a hammer?

455
00:20:51,733 --> 00:20:53,933
He keeps it
in the drawer somewhere.

456
00:20:57,567 --> 00:20:59,000
What about a nail?
Where's a nail?

457
00:20:59,033 --> 00:21:01,067
I don't know where
he keeps the nails!

458
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,800
( Hammering )

459
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,367
What's going on there?

460
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,500
I'm putting up a mezuzah.

461
00:21:55,533 --> 00:21:59,066
Wait a minute. Is that my nail?

462
00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:01,167
- I'll get you another one.
- You took my nail?

463
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,167
- Larry!
- That's blasphemy!

464
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,767
What? What is going on?

465
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,533
He took my nail! He took my Nai!

466
00:22:07,567 --> 00:22:09,066
Took the nailright off my neck!

467
00:22:09,067 --> 00:22:11,500
Susie: Why'd you have a
nail around your neck?

468
00:22:11,533 --> 00:22:12,767
That's Jesus' nail!

469
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,767
My father's coming right now!

470
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,933
( All yelling )

471
00:22:17,967 --> 00:22:19,933
( Knock on door )

472
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,567
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Larry: Hey hey!

473
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,633
Hey, boychick.

474
00:22:29,667 --> 00:22:32,100
All right. All right, kiddo.

475
00:22:32,133 --> 00:22:35,733
All: Hi, nat.

476
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:40,876
This is the best chicken
salad I've ever had.

477
00:22:40,900 --> 00:22:43,933
- Ever, right?
- Unbelievable.

478
00:22:43,967 --> 00:22:45,276
I don't know what
the hell she does.

479
00:22:45,300 --> 00:22:47,267
My god, she makes chicken salad,

480
00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:49,600
she wears brassieres,
she does it all!

481
00:22:49,633 --> 00:22:51,667
Yeah, she's very happy
with the bras, by the way.

482
00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:52,700
Really?

483
00:22:52,733 --> 00:22:55,767
Yeah. Nailed,
nailed the bra size.

484
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,533
- Really?
- I don't know how I do it.

485
00:22:58,567 --> 00:23:01,467
I've really got some kind of
talent for that, you know?

486
00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:04,100
Maybe you can get a job
in a carnival somewhere.

487
00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:07,233
Yeah, it's true. I'm good at it.

488
00:23:07,267 --> 00:23:09,533
Yeah, have your own
little booth.

489
00:23:09,567 --> 00:23:13,367
"Step right up. You are...

490
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,167
36c!"

491
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:17,067
- Huh?
- Yeah!

492
00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:18,867
- I know.
- Great.

493
00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:22,400
Of course, jesús freaked out
about the whole thing.

494
00:23:22,433 --> 00:23:23,600
- Really?
- He quit, yeah.

495
00:23:23,633 --> 00:23:24,967
- He quit?
- Quit.

496
00:23:25,067 --> 00:23:27,467
Wow. - The whole
thing about the bra,

497
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:30,567
talking about the bra,

498
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,900
asking her to buy a bra.

499
00:23:32,933 --> 00:23:35,066
He told her to tell me
to go fuck myself.

500
00:23:35,067 --> 00:23:37,167
- Really?
- Yeah.

501
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,066
He's a fucking
nut job, this guy.

502
00:23:39,067 --> 00:23:41,367
So, did you replace the nail?

503
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,433
Did I replace the nail?

504
00:23:43,467 --> 00:23:44,533
I believe I have.

505
00:23:44,567 --> 00:23:47,333
Oh, okay, good.

506
00:23:47,367 --> 00:23:49,066
Your father-in-law's
gonna be very happy.

507
00:23:49,067 --> 00:23:53,066
Happy man. Your dad's happy,
you father-in-law's happy,

508
00:23:53,067 --> 00:23:56,209
unless, of course, any other emergencies
arise that require a nail to remedy it.

509
00:23:56,233 --> 00:23:57,409
You never know when
you're gonna need a nail.

510
00:23:57,433 --> 00:24:00,100
- You never know.
- You never know.

511
00:24:00,133 --> 00:24:04,267
( Loud crunch )

512
00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:06,467
- What's the matter?
- My tooth!

513
00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:06,933
What?

514
00:24:06,967 --> 00:24:08,900
Fuck!

515
00:24:08,933 --> 00:24:11,066
I think my tooth fell out.

516
00:24:11,067 --> 00:24:12,667
Oh...

517
00:24:14,267 --> 00:24:17,133
Shit! My tooth fell out!

518
00:24:17,167 --> 00:24:19,867
- My tooth!
- From a chicken salad sandwich?

519
00:24:19,900 --> 00:24:23,100
What fuckin' idiot
put bones in a sandwich?

520
00:24:23,133 --> 00:24:24,933
I bit into a bone!

521
00:24:24,967 --> 00:24:27,933
There's bones
in the chicken salad!

522
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:30,133
Shit!

523
00:24:30,167 --> 00:24:32,433
Fuck!

524
00:24:34,167 --> 00:24:38,066
Quiet. What's that noise?

525
00:24:38,067 --> 00:24:39,633
- ( Shoes squeaking )
- what?

526
00:24:39,667 --> 00:24:41,100
Shh.

527
00:24:41,133 --> 00:24:43,633
- ( Shoes squeaking )
- sounds like your shoes.

528
00:24:46,067 --> 00:24:47,267
Jesús!

529
00:24:47,300 --> 00:24:49,733
( Squeaking )

530
00:25:14,100 --> 00:25:15,800
I didn't see anybody.

531
00:25:23,067 --> 00:25:24,733
Fuck!

532
00:25:30,067 --> 00:25:32,267
( Shoes squeaking )

533
00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:43,833
( Body thumps )

534
00:25:43,867 --> 00:25:47,367
( Jesús whimpering )

535
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,367
- What happened?
- He just fell.

536
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:50,733
Fell?

537
00:25:50,767 --> 00:25:55,633
( Speaking in foreign language )

538
00:25:57,633 --> 00:25:59,133
What is that language?

539
00:25:59,167 --> 00:26:00,767
I have no idea.

540
00:26:02,133 --> 00:26:04,600
What's this? There's
something in his foot!

541
00:26:06,467 --> 00:26:08,567
Oh my god!

542
00:26:13,833 --> 00:26:16,133
The nail.

543
00:26:16,167 --> 00:26:17,933
I must have dropped it!

544
00:26:17,967 --> 00:26:21,567
It saved me!

545
00:26:24,133 --> 00:26:27,767
Come on, let's
get him some help.

546
00:27:03,467 --> 00:27:06,433
Very funny.

547
00:27:06,467 --> 00:27:08,700
I don't know what
you're talking about.

548
00:27:13,167 --> 00:27:21,167
( Theme music playing )

549
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:31,200
( Theme music playing )