1 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:09,000 ( Theme music playing ) 2 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,167 Larry: Auntie rae, auntie rae? 3 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:20,633 - You need something? - I want you to come with me. I want to show you something. 4 00:00:20,667 --> 00:00:22,133 Oh, all right then. What is it? 5 00:00:22,167 --> 00:00:24,267 Eh, don't worry. Just come with me. 6 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:27,567 You know, you said how much you love gardening, 7 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,733 and how you wish you could garden here, 8 00:00:29,767 --> 00:00:33,133 so I cleared this little area for you. 9 00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,533 - And... there you go. - Larry. 10 00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:36,300 You did this for me? 11 00:00:36,333 --> 00:00:38,633 - I did it for you! - Oh, Larry! 12 00:00:38,667 --> 00:00:40,567 - Huh? - Oh-ho! Larry! 13 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,133 Grow some lettuce, auntie rae. Grow some lettuce! 14 00:00:43,167 --> 00:00:46,067 You don't know how much I appreciate this. 15 00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:48,633 You've been so good to us, Larry, 16 00:00:48,667 --> 00:00:51,467 my family. I really appreciate it. 17 00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:53,467 I really appreciate it, Larry! 18 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,833 Thank you, Larry. I... 19 00:00:58,567 --> 00:01:02,133 Larry, you're disgusting. 20 00:01:02,167 --> 00:01:03,733 Ah! 21 00:01:03,767 --> 00:01:06,067 Agh! Auntie rae! 22 00:01:07,633 --> 00:01:09,467 ( Sighs ) 23 00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:12,467 Larry: She called me disgusting. ( Laughs ) 24 00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,500 Oh my god. 25 00:01:15,933 --> 00:01:19,100 - What were you thinking? - And she ran into the house. 26 00:01:19,133 --> 00:01:21,066 - Oh my god. - How does that happen to you? 27 00:01:21,067 --> 00:01:24,066 You know, she went over the appropriate amount of time 28 00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:27,067 that I can have human contact without getting aroused. 29 00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:29,100 I only have five seconds. 30 00:01:29,133 --> 00:01:31,167 After that, it's out of my control. 31 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,433 Not me. I've got discipline down there. I have a very discerning penis. 32 00:01:34,467 --> 00:01:35,800 - No... - very discerning. 33 00:01:35,833 --> 00:01:38,066 - My penis is an animal. - Really, just out of control? 34 00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:40,367 - It's a feral tiger, yeah. - It's wild. 35 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,933 Oh, so how'd your... how'd the appointment go? With the doctor? 36 00:01:42,967 --> 00:01:44,633 Great. 37 00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:47,400 He's gonna snip-snip, and... 38 00:01:47,433 --> 00:01:49,700 I will no longer be snoring. 39 00:01:49,733 --> 00:01:51,800 Really? Going in on Thursday morning. 40 00:01:51,833 --> 00:01:53,633 - Fantastic. - Unbelievable! 41 00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:56,233 - Fantastic. - My dog howls 42 00:01:56,267 --> 00:01:58,400 from my snoring. I wake up my dog. 43 00:01:58,433 --> 00:02:00,900 My dog starts howling. I'm out of control. 44 00:02:00,933 --> 00:02:02,700 - This'll be good. - This'll be great. 45 00:02:02,733 --> 00:02:04,233 - It's about time. - It is about time. 46 00:02:04,267 --> 00:02:05,933 - Yeah. - It's about time. 47 00:02:05,967 --> 00:02:09,533 Hey, guess what else? I think Ben stiller's gonna come with me as a client. 48 00:02:09,567 --> 00:02:11,367 - Are you kidding? - No! 49 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,400 - Have you met with him? - No, I'm meeting with him this week. 50 00:02:14,433 --> 00:02:17,967 - If you could sign him... - I think it's a slam-dunk. Done deal. 51 00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:19,800 It's gonna bring you in so much income. 52 00:02:19,833 --> 00:02:21,133 - Huge income, I know. - My god. 53 00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:22,933 - That's amazing. - Hello. 54 00:02:22,967 --> 00:02:24,533 - Hi. - I know you couldn't decide 55 00:02:24,567 --> 00:02:27,066 between the slaw and the soup, so I brought you both. 56 00:02:27,067 --> 00:02:29,333 Wow, thank you so very much. 57 00:02:29,367 --> 00:02:31,900 And here's your sandwich. Can I get you something to drink? 58 00:02:31,933 --> 00:02:33,843 You know what I'd love? I'd love an Arnold Palmer. 59 00:02:33,867 --> 00:02:36,167 - Okay, I'll be right back. - Thank you. 60 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,066 Excuse me? Can I give you a drink order? 61 00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:41,567 - Sure. - I'll just have an iced tea. 62 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,567 - An iced tea. Okay. Arnold Palmer... of course. - Thanks again. 63 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,633 Thank you. Man, she's nice. 64 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,467 Yeah. Nice to people with hair, she's nice. 65 00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:53,533 - What are you talking about? - What am I talking about? 66 00:02:53,567 --> 00:02:56,467 Yeah. - Bald people get discriminated against constantly. 67 00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:58,433 And you just saw a perfect example of it. 68 00:02:58,467 --> 00:03:00,333 Oh, it's because you're bald. 69 00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:02,567 Yeah, ask any bald person. Ask, go ahead. 70 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,433 You still have issues with being bald. 71 00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:07,767 You know, if I were bald... if I woke up tomorrow and I found myself bald, 72 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,733 I'd be so cool with it. It'd be no big deal. It's all natural. 73 00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:13,066 - Yeah, right, that's what everybody says. - Whatever. 74 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,167 Hey, they have a pharmacy here, right? 75 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,367 - Yeah. - I gotta get a prescription filled. 76 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,100 I'm gonna go now, drop it off, 77 00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:21,133 then I'll pick it up when I'm done. 78 00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:22,933 Beautiful. 79 00:03:34,567 --> 00:03:36,800 - Hi. - Oh, hi there. 80 00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:40,167 Ah, let's take a look here. 81 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:41,576 Can I get that in the next half hour? 82 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,100 Sure. Yeah, we can do that. 83 00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:44,700 Great, thank you. 84 00:03:47,233 --> 00:03:49,100 - Larry: That's odd. - Jeff: What? 85 00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:51,400 I could have sworn when I left, 86 00:03:51,433 --> 00:03:54,267 I had about twice as many French fries 87 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,767 - as there are now. - Hm. 88 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,700 - You wouldn't know anything about this, would you? - No idea. 89 00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:01,067 - Huh? - No idea. 90 00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,900 - No idea? - No. 91 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,267 - No idea? - I told you I had no idea! What's the big deal? 92 00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:14,467 - Just eat. - Maybe somebody could shed some light on this for us. 93 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:17,367 Excuse me. Hi, I'm sorry to bother you. 94 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:21,066 - It's all right. - I'm wondering if you noticed anything unusual 95 00:04:21,067 --> 00:04:23,400 going on at this table after I left? 96 00:04:23,433 --> 00:04:26,633 Well, I... I really couldn't say. I don't want 97 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,467 to impinge on a friendship. 98 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:31,066 Impinge away. Go ahead and impinge. 99 00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:33,400 I took one. Shoot me. 100 00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:36,066 One. Two of them might have been stuck together. 101 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,933 Mm-mm-mm. Thank you. 102 00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:40,433 - Are you a doctor? - Yes, Dr. flomm. 103 00:04:40,467 --> 00:04:42,933 - I'm an orthopedist. - Really? An orthopedist? 104 00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:44,367 - Mm-hm. - Hi, my name's Larry. 105 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,867 Hi, Larry. I'm... I'm Sheila. 106 00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:49,867 Nice to meet you. So you work in the building? 107 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,200 Leon: God damn, Larry. What the fuck, man? 108 00:04:54,233 --> 00:04:56,467 You hug my auntie, man, you stab her in the stomach? 109 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:58,367 - Oh well... - What the fuck was that? 110 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,066 She hugged me and she held that hug for over five seconds. 111 00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,300 - What the fuck? - I have no control after five seconds. 112 00:05:03,333 --> 00:05:05,233 - So you got a five-second rule? - Not a rule, 113 00:05:05,267 --> 00:05:08,600 it's an approximate amount of time that it's gonna take for something to happen. 114 00:05:08,633 --> 00:05:10,800 What the fuck, I mean, what the fuck? Loretta. 115 00:05:10,833 --> 00:05:12,167 - Oh, I'm sorry. - L.D.? 116 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,133 What? You have lost your damn mind. 117 00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:15,733 - No, I... - Auntie rae? 118 00:05:15,767 --> 00:05:18,333 I can't control it. I have no control. It's not my fault. 119 00:05:18,367 --> 00:05:20,133 Just like that, you got turned on? 120 00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:22,333 Not just like that. That's a long time, five seconds. 121 00:05:22,367 --> 00:05:25,243 He got a five-second rule. One, two, three, four, five... boing, it come out. 122 00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:28,343 - Where's your "Mississippi"? You gotta put Mississippi in. - Both: Mississippi? 123 00:05:28,367 --> 00:05:30,833 That's how you count... "one-Mississippi, two-Mississippi, 124 00:05:30,867 --> 00:05:33,467 three-Mississippi, four-Mississippi, five-Mississippi." 125 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,100 - That's way too long. - Way too long. 126 00:05:35,133 --> 00:05:37,209 - You're stretching it out for... - I'm not stretching it out. 127 00:05:37,233 --> 00:05:39,343 - I shortened it. - I'm just sayin', it's been a long time 128 00:05:39,367 --> 00:05:41,367 - since my uncle passed away, man. - That's right. 129 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,576 You all over her. You stab her in the fuckin' stomach, man. 130 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,367 Believe me, it's not gonna happen again. 131 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,676 You better make sure it don't happen again, because we can go. 132 00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,276 - We can go, man. - We can go. We can go anywhere. 133 00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:52,100 - Where you gonna go? - Anywhere. Get out of here, I know that. 134 00:05:52,133 --> 00:05:54,076 - Leon: We got places to go. - You know, it's just 135 00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:56,066 I'm so starved for affection, I guess that 136 00:05:56,067 --> 00:05:58,867 - any kind of contact... - Talk to your man. 137 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:02,367 - You got one more chance, l.D. - I just met a doctor, actually. 138 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,467 I'm gonna go call her for a date right now. 139 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,800 - She's very attractive. - Handle your business. 140 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:09,276 - But no... no more hugging, don't worry. - Oh please, please don't. 141 00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:11,367 Call that goddamn doctor, get a diagnosis, 142 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,800 and-and-and... and go stab somebody else, man. 143 00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:17,067 Dr. flomm: And what happens when you... when you turn your palm? 144 00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:19,167 - Yeah, it hurts. - Worse, okay. 145 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,267 - ( Phone rings ) - just a moment, please. 146 00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:24,067 - Hello, Dr. flomm. - Oh, Dr. flomm. 147 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:27,200 - This is Larry David calling. - Oh hi, Larry. How are you? 148 00:06:27,233 --> 00:06:30,133 - Good, I met you earlier in the cafeteria. - Yes yes, I remember. 149 00:06:30,167 --> 00:06:33,733 - Would you like to make an appointment? - Uh, no, actually. 150 00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:36,167 I'm calling for, um, a date. 151 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,200 Oh I see. Well, I'm with a patient right now. 152 00:06:38,233 --> 00:06:39,867 Oh jeez, I'm so sorry. 153 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,633 Okay, is... is tonight good for you? 154 00:06:42,667 --> 00:06:45,300 Actually I'm all booked up tonight, but I am available tomorrow 155 00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:47,200 between 5:00 and 6:00 or anytime after 8:30. 156 00:06:47,233 --> 00:06:49,300 - Okay, I'll take the 8:30. - Terrific. 157 00:06:49,333 --> 00:06:51,443 Speak to my receptionist to get the pertinent details. 158 00:06:51,467 --> 00:06:53,867 - I'll call your receptionist. - If you need to cancel 159 00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:55,800 or in case of any emergency, just page me. 160 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,167 Okay. Okay, will do. 161 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,433 Good, and I recommend being five minutes early. 162 00:06:59,467 --> 00:07:00,767 Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. 163 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,267 All right, Larry, thank you. 164 00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:04,500 - Okay. - ( clicks ) 165 00:07:10,467 --> 00:07:12,133 Hi. 166 00:07:12,167 --> 00:07:14,167 Is... Sheila here? 167 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,400 Yeah, come on in. I'm her sister. 168 00:07:16,433 --> 00:07:18,133 - Oh, hi. - You must be Larry. 169 00:07:18,167 --> 00:07:20,067 Yeah. Just come on in, have a seat. 170 00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:22,067 - Make yourself at home. - Oh, thanks. 171 00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:24,967 - She'll be right down. - ( Soft jazz playing ) 172 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,533 You have nothing to worry about. It'll be fine. 173 00:07:48,567 --> 00:07:50,300 - Thanks, Sheila. - Oh hi, Larry. 174 00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:52,300 - Hi hi. - This is my brother Joe. 175 00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:54,066 - Larry David. - Hi, Joe. 176 00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:56,307 - Nice to meet you. - I suppose you met Trish, my sister. 177 00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:57,567 Yes, yeah. 178 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,400 - Wow. - Huh? 179 00:07:59,433 --> 00:08:01,933 - You look great. - It took me about two hours to get ready. 180 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,733 Your brother and sister, they're staying with you? 181 00:08:05,767 --> 00:08:08,867 Yeah, they're gonna be with me just a couple months. 182 00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:11,133 So... - you know, I've got people in my house too. 183 00:08:11,167 --> 00:08:12,733 - You're kidding. - No. 184 00:08:12,767 --> 00:08:15,267 You know, it's great and then sometimes it's not so great. 185 00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:17,167 Well, I took in a homeless family... 186 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,567 You what? -...From... from... from the hurricane. 187 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,700 - You're kidding. - No. 188 00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:22,833 Anyway, their... Their name is "black." 189 00:08:22,867 --> 00:08:25,100 Uh-huh. And... and they're actually black. 190 00:08:25,133 --> 00:08:27,767 - Well, that makes it easy. - Exactly, yeah. 191 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,100 Yeah. 192 00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,066 - Can I move on? - Absolutely. 193 00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:33,233 Huh? All right, I got a groin issue. 194 00:08:33,267 --> 00:08:35,066 - Oh, okay. - I... I pulled it. 195 00:08:35,067 --> 00:08:37,066 Did you ice it right away? 196 00:08:37,067 --> 00:08:38,967 No. - Okay, so put a little bit of heat 197 00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:40,667 - on the groin... - Heat on the groin. 198 00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:43,133 - And then I'd massage it. - You want me to massage it? 199 00:08:43,167 --> 00:08:44,633 - Oh absolutely. - Really? 200 00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:46,500 You never want to massage with muscle, 201 00:08:46,533 --> 00:08:49,067 - you always want to massage laterally. - Lateral, okay. 202 00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:52,300 For instance, this is your groin. Just... you just massage across. 203 00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:55,100 Watch out for my testicles right over there. 204 00:08:55,133 --> 00:08:57,233 ( Dr. flomm laughing ) 205 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,767 Larry? 206 00:09:04,533 --> 00:09:07,433 Why don't we move this to my bedroom? 207 00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:10,167 Sure. 208 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,667 Go upstairs, take off your clothes, 209 00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:15,133 and I'll be in to see you in a few minutes. 210 00:09:17,833 --> 00:09:19,367 Okay. 211 00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:27,767 ( Exhales ) 212 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,067 ( Light jazz playing ) 213 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,567 Larry? 214 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,100 - Hey. - Hi. 215 00:09:47,133 --> 00:09:49,100 Uh, listen, I... I am so sorry. 216 00:09:49,133 --> 00:09:50,900 I... I hate to tell you this, 217 00:09:50,933 --> 00:09:52,933 but my brother and sister just came back. 218 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,933 - They weren't supposed to be here. - Oh. 219 00:09:54,967 --> 00:09:57,700 And my brother got food poisoning, so they came back early, 220 00:09:57,733 --> 00:10:00,100 and I... I'm really sorry. 221 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,233 - Well, what are you gonna do? - So... 222 00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:04,467 - It happens. - We need to reschedule. 223 00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:07,267 Why don't you get dressed and I'll meet you in the foyer? 224 00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:18,367 I'm telling you, Jeffrey, 225 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,500 there's nothing like dating a doctor. 226 00:10:20,533 --> 00:10:24,033 We talked for 45 minutes about my groin injury. 227 00:10:24,067 --> 00:10:27,133 No no, she just wants me to massage it. 228 00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:29,300 It's killing me too. 229 00:10:29,333 --> 00:10:31,700 Um, so listen... 230 00:10:31,733 --> 00:10:34,800 I'm gonna see you later. I'm gonna stop by before your operation. 231 00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:36,600 Okay, man. 232 00:10:36,633 --> 00:10:38,667 Okay, take care. 233 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,467 ( Groans ) 234 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,367 ( Gasps ) 235 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,233 ( Screams ) 236 00:10:53,267 --> 00:10:55,833 Oh! Auntie rae! 237 00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,867 - Larry: You know what? - What? 238 00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:02,500 - Last night, I know we talked about this. - Yeah? 239 00:11:02,533 --> 00:11:04,700 - This thing, you know. - Oh, that thing. 240 00:11:04,733 --> 00:11:07,633 - And believe me, I respect your medical judgment. - Mm-hm? 241 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,700 - I think it's cancer. - ( Laughs ) it's not cancer. 242 00:11:10,733 --> 00:11:13,100 Huh? I've never had cancer before but I'm imagining 243 00:11:13,133 --> 00:11:15,043 - this is how it feels like. - How would you know? 244 00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:16,733 No no, it's not. 245 00:11:16,767 --> 00:11:18,800 ( Clears throat ) I'm gonna... 246 00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,633 Head to the men's room. 247 00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:22,533 I... okay, that's fine. 248 00:11:22,567 --> 00:11:24,967 I just... I'm a little shy about this, 249 00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:27,800 and I just have... I just wrote you a little something. 250 00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:30,100 - I think it might make you feel better. - Moi? 251 00:11:30,133 --> 00:11:33,200 - Yeah. - Ah. A note. 252 00:11:33,233 --> 00:11:35,133 - Oh my god. - You're embarrassing me. 253 00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:37,133 Just... just go to the bathroom. 254 00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:52,066 - Oh, excuse me? - Yeah? 255 00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:53,600 - Can you do me a favor? - Sure. 256 00:11:53,633 --> 00:11:56,333 A doctor wrote me this note. I can't make out a word of it. 257 00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:58,900 You know the way they write. They have terrible penmanship. 258 00:11:58,933 --> 00:12:00,633 - Look at this. - "Libby..." 259 00:12:00,667 --> 00:12:02,167 No no, Larry. That's me. 260 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,867 Something... 261 00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:07,967 - Something "socks." - "Socks"? 262 00:12:08,067 --> 00:12:09,967 That's an "s"? I thought that was a "t". 263 00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:12,167 - Tox? - Truck? 264 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,700 Truck. Do you have a truck? 265 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:17,433 - No, I don't have a truck. - It's gotta be truck... oh. 266 00:12:17,467 --> 00:12:19,533 - All right, whatever, okay. - I'm sorry. 267 00:12:19,567 --> 00:12:21,066 - All right, thank you. - Yeah. 268 00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:23,167 Thank you. This... 269 00:12:26,667 --> 00:12:29,300 ( Water running ) - man: Yeah, I'm at the hospital. 270 00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:31,200 Yeah, I fucked my wrist or something. 271 00:12:31,233 --> 00:12:33,066 Yeah, I was movinga futon. 272 00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:37,067 And I had to take the top because of this 300-lb nigger. 273 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:40,900 Yeah, exactly. I'm at the fuckin' top, and halfway through, 274 00:12:40,933 --> 00:12:42,767 this nigger drops his side. 275 00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:47,100 So nowmy wrist is fucked. 276 00:12:49,067 --> 00:12:50,833 Oh my god. 277 00:12:52,433 --> 00:12:55,600 You can't believe what I just overheard in the bathroom. 278 00:12:55,633 --> 00:12:57,933 What an unbelievable jerk. 279 00:12:57,967 --> 00:13:01,900 This guy is on his cell phone, he's talking to his friend. 280 00:13:01,933 --> 00:13:04,367 And he's upset and he's complaining, 281 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:07,500 you know, he had to move some furniture. And he says to his friend, 282 00:13:07,533 --> 00:13:10,267 "I hurt my hand because I had to take the top 283 00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:13,066 because of this 300-lb nigger who was..." 284 00:13:13,067 --> 00:13:15,467 what did you say? What did you just say? 285 00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:17,800 Oh... - what did you just fix your mouth to say? 286 00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:19,700 No no... - you just used the most vile word 287 00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:21,567 in the english language. How dare you? 288 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,367 - No, I was... - How dare... in front of me? 289 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:26,200 You are despicable. I can't stand people like you. 290 00:13:26,233 --> 00:13:28,233 - I didn't... - You bald son of a bitch. 291 00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:30,800 I have to face this kind of wretched foolishness. 292 00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:33,609 This is ridiculous. I just want to... god! I can't stand people like... 293 00:13:33,633 --> 00:13:36,233 Bald? 294 00:13:36,267 --> 00:13:38,400 ( Machine beeping ) 295 00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:44,700 I wonder what's keeping Dr. page? 296 00:13:44,733 --> 00:13:46,833 Why hasn't this patient been prepped? 297 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,300 He is prepped, sir. 298 00:13:48,333 --> 00:13:51,167 Excuse me, nurse. 299 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,333 Clippers! Sir, clippers are not req... 300 00:13:53,367 --> 00:13:55,500 Do I have to do everything myself? 301 00:13:55,533 --> 00:13:57,800 I know what I'm doing here. Clippers, please. 302 00:13:57,833 --> 00:13:59,667 Thank you. 303 00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:01,100 ( Buzzing ) 304 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:08,200 Jeff: Oh my god! No no! 305 00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:09,967 - What? - Oh my god! 306 00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:11,800 Look at me! 307 00:14:11,833 --> 00:14:14,067 What the hell happened to you? 308 00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:17,167 - What happened? - What happened, nurse? 309 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,300 Dr. page accidentally shaved Mr. Greene's head... 310 00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:20,900 - Shaved my head? - Wait a minute. 311 00:14:20,933 --> 00:14:22,667 - Accidentally? - Did he operate on my head? 312 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:24,267 No, the procedure was canceled. 313 00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,900 The operation is going to be rescheduled. 314 00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,066 - So he didn't have the surgery? - No. 315 00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:31,066 Oh, you look horrible. Jeff! 316 00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:33,533 - Nurse, would you please excuse us? - Doctor, what happened? 317 00:14:33,567 --> 00:14:36,066 - What the hell happened? Look at him! - What happened? 318 00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:37,700 Mr. and Mrs. Greene, I am so sorry. 319 00:14:37,733 --> 00:14:40,067 I was coming to see you in the operating room 320 00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:43,633 and I had just been victimized by a terrible incident in the cafeteria. 321 00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,400 And so I came to the operating room 322 00:14:45,433 --> 00:14:47,833 and I was so angered and I was upset and I was confused, 323 00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:49,500 and I mistakenly shaved your head, 324 00:14:49,533 --> 00:14:51,833 - for which I'm so sorry. - "Mistake" is correct. 325 00:14:51,867 --> 00:14:54,367 - You took it out on his head? - It was a terrible mistake. 326 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,533 I can explain... I'm leaving the cafeteria, and I'm walking past a table, 327 00:14:57,567 --> 00:15:00,267 and this horrible man uses the most vile word 328 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,933 in the english language to refer to a black person. 329 00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:04,667 And I went into a blind rage. 330 00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:07,200 And I left there and I went to the operating room, 331 00:15:07,233 --> 00:15:10,333 and I made this terrible mistake, for which I'm so sorry. 332 00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:11,733 Do you know who this man was? 333 00:15:11,767 --> 00:15:13,400 I have no idea who he was. 334 00:15:13,433 --> 00:15:16,066 He was just a despicable bald man. 335 00:15:16,067 --> 00:15:17,767 - Bald? - Ye 336 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,467 did he, by any chance, 337 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:22,066 wear glasses? 338 00:15:22,067 --> 00:15:24,233 Yes. 339 00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:26,500 As a matter of fact, he was wearing glasses. 340 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:31,233 And it was awful. It was just absolutely awful. 341 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,667 "S..." 342 00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:38,300 "Sitter"? "Sitting"? 343 00:15:40,067 --> 00:15:42,067 ( Rapping on door ) 344 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,667 ( Sighs ) 345 00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:49,066 Look at him! 346 00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:50,867 - Look at him! - What the fuck? 347 00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,767 - I'm bald! - You like this look? 348 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,066 - He had a beautiful full head of hair... - I'm bald! 349 00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:57,300 A mane that I loved and now he looks like you! 350 00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:59,167 - Look at me! - What happened? 351 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,367 - How did that happen? - You did it! 352 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:02,900 - I did it? - You did it! Yes! 353 00:16:02,933 --> 00:16:05,700 - What are you talking about? - You traumatized the doctor! 354 00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:09,967 He described you. He said, "bald, glasses." You said some racial slur 355 00:16:10,067 --> 00:16:11,933 and you traumatizedthe doctor. 356 00:16:11,967 --> 00:16:13,776 - And he came in all flummoxed... - What did you do? 357 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,967 And shaved his fucking head! 358 00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:17,600 There's nothing wrong with being bald! 359 00:16:17,633 --> 00:16:19,667 - Sure there is! - Yes, there is, Larry! 360 00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:22,066 - Look at you! - You said you wouldn't care if you were bald! 361 00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:23,700 Yeah, in 40 years! Not fucking today! 362 00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,733 Because he knew it was never gonna happen! 363 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,943 - Not overnight! - Yours is gonna grow back. Mine isn't! 364 00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:29,667 That's right. You know what? Curse on you! 365 00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:32,066 Mine's gonna grow back. Yours isn't! You deserve it! 366 00:16:32,067 --> 00:16:33,900 Susie: What did you say to that doctor? 367 00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:36,167 Here's what happened, okay? Here's what happened. 368 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,367 I was in the cafeteria. I was having lunch with Dr. flomm. 369 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,633 Okay? What... You know, it was pretty... 370 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,433 By the way, can you interpret this... this note? 371 00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:46,500 Oh, nobody gives a shit about your note! 372 00:16:46,533 --> 00:16:47,900 - What are you doing? - Huh? 373 00:16:47,933 --> 00:16:50,233 Okay, so I went to the men's room. 374 00:16:50,267 --> 00:16:52,633 I'm in the stall. There's this guy, 375 00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:54,167 an unbelievable asshole. 376 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,267 He's talking on his cell phone to his friend. 377 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:58,933 He's very upset because they had to move some furniture. 378 00:16:58,967 --> 00:17:00,800 He says to his friend, "I hurt my hand 379 00:17:00,833 --> 00:17:03,367 because this 300-lb nigger is... "- what'd you say?" 380 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,400 - What? - What did you just say? 381 00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:08,176 Oh no no, I... - did I just hear the word nigger come out your mouth? 382 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,233 - No, but I was... - Did you say nigger? 383 00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:12,133 - Leon! Leon! - What? 384 00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:14,767 - Oh no no, don't... - Leon, get your ass out here. 385 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,433 Larry just said nigger. 386 00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:18,933 - Get thfuck out of here! - Larry just said nigger! 387 00:17:18,967 --> 00:17:21,066 - How you gonna say nigger, man? - No no! 388 00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:22,667 Is that how you feel about us? 389 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,900 That we a bunch of niggers up in here? 390 00:17:24,933 --> 00:17:27,933 - I was quoting somebody. - Let's get out of here! I wanna go! 391 00:17:27,967 --> 00:17:30,600 What is all this fussing and cussing going on up in here? 392 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,300 Larry d. Done called us nigger. 393 00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:33,633 - Nigger? - Both: Nigger! 394 00:17:33,667 --> 00:17:36,167 - No, let me explain! - You lost your damn mind now! 395 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,800 First, you're gonna be rubbing all up against me, then whacking off in the damn car! 396 00:17:39,833 --> 00:17:41,400 - Now you call us... - I was massaging! 397 00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:43,433 I'll come down there to whip your poor ass! 398 00:17:43,467 --> 00:17:46,267 - You done fucked up, Larry! - I'll tell you one damn thing... 399 00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,200 We ain't gonnaput up with that. 400 00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,733 - L.d., I told you you had one last chance. - Auntie rae: One. 401 00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:53,100 - This the last straw. We out this bitch. - That's it. 402 00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:54,400 - We out this bitch! - Out. 403 00:17:54,433 --> 00:17:56,233 - Where you gonna go? - We don't know. 404 00:17:56,267 --> 00:17:58,509 - But we gonna get the hell out of here. - You could stay with us. 405 00:17:58,533 --> 00:18:00,600 - Thank you, baby. - That's what I'm talking about. 406 00:18:00,633 --> 00:18:01,876 - We appreciate that. - Thank you! 407 00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:04,567 Fuck you, Larry, wit' your monkey ass! 408 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,400 Auntie rae: Daryl! Keysha! 409 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:08,343 - We gettin' the hell outta here. - You're damn straight. 410 00:18:08,367 --> 00:18:10,043 - Get the hell outta here. - Where the kids at? 411 00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:12,367 Like how you do what you do. It's a sexy ass, susie. 412 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,600 Fuck you, Larry! 413 00:18:14,633 --> 00:18:16,533 Peace! 414 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,333 Well, look, I... I think that 415 00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:25,633 you're limiting yourself by just doing comedies. 416 00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:27,533 Right. You can do it in your sleep. 417 00:18:27,567 --> 00:18:29,066 Let's show people more. 418 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,233 Why can't you win an academy award? 419 00:18:31,267 --> 00:18:33,800 The studios, they'll do anything you want to do. 420 00:18:33,833 --> 00:18:36,433 We just gotta push 'em in the right direction, man. 421 00:18:36,467 --> 00:18:38,367 - Yeah. - That's it. 422 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,833 - I didn't just fall off the melon truck. - Melon truck? 423 00:18:40,867 --> 00:18:43,867 You sign with me, I will fight that fight to get you those roles, 424 00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:45,933 to develop those projects with you. 425 00:18:45,967 --> 00:18:48,767 That's what I do. You know, you need to be doing things 426 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,100 ( voice fades ) that are more independent, smaller in scale... 427 00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:55,433 As well as the big-scale stuff. That's gonna fall in your lap. 428 00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,567 I'll do the work. You won't notice anything different 429 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,543 except for the fact that you're collecting awards. 430 00:18:59,567 --> 00:19:01,400 ( Normal voice )okay? 431 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,167 What? 432 00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:10,367 Stiller said no. 433 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,633 What? Doesn't want to work with me. 434 00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:15,967 - Are you kidding? - Doesn't feel it's right. 435 00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,767 - He called you? - Yeah. 436 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,500 Said "it doesn't feel right." 437 00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,700 - "Doesn't feel right"? - Doesn't feel right. 438 00:19:21,733 --> 00:19:24,067 - Yeah? - Yeah. 439 00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:26,867 You know what doesn't feel right about it? 440 00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:29,300 - You're bald. - You think that's the reason why? 441 00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:30,867 - Yeah. - I'm not sure. 442 00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:33,133 Doesn't want a bald man to be representing him! 443 00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:35,533 Hey! You know what? I know exactly what I want. 444 00:19:35,567 --> 00:19:37,567 - I'm gonna get... - I'm a little busy today. 445 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,533 I'll come back in a little bit. 446 00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:43,200 - Okay? - That's weird. 447 00:19:43,233 --> 00:19:44,833 - Weird? - Yeah. 448 00:19:44,867 --> 00:19:46,833 That's the way it works, my friend. 449 00:19:46,867 --> 00:19:48,267 Welcome to my world. 450 00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:49,900 - This sucks. - You know what? 451 00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:52,800 - This fucking sucks. - That cost you millions of dollars today. 452 00:19:52,833 --> 00:19:54,309 - What happened. - Millions of dollars. 453 00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:56,967 - Millions of dollars. - The hospital wants to meet with me. 454 00:19:57,067 --> 00:19:59,667 They want to talk and... And go over my bill. 455 00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:02,500 "Go over my bill." I'm gonna sue these motherfuckers. 456 00:20:02,533 --> 00:20:04,800 - That's it! That's fucking it! - Right, good for you. 457 00:20:04,833 --> 00:20:06,933 This blows. How do you deal with it? 458 00:20:06,967 --> 00:20:10,633 You just get used to it. And I get support from my bald brothers. 459 00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:12,833 - There's, like, meetings? - There's no meetings, 460 00:20:12,867 --> 00:20:15,067 but we see each other on the street, we nod. 461 00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:17,900 - We'll give a thumbs up. - Yeah. 462 00:20:17,933 --> 00:20:20,967 You know what? We love each other, me and my bald brothers. 463 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,933 Still obsessed with that note, huh? 464 00:20:22,967 --> 00:20:25,700 I... I've asked 10 people. 465 00:20:25,733 --> 00:20:28,100 Excuse me, could you do me a favor? 466 00:20:28,133 --> 00:20:31,100 I can't read this. Could you make out any of that handwriting? 467 00:20:31,133 --> 00:20:32,400 - This from a doctor? - Yeah. 468 00:20:32,433 --> 00:20:34,367 Take it to a pharmacist. 469 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,833 - What a great idea. - Yeah. 470 00:20:38,867 --> 00:20:41,076 They're the only ones who can make out a doctor's handwriting. 471 00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:42,567 Yeah, go! 472 00:20:45,133 --> 00:20:47,033 - Oh, hi. - Hi. 473 00:20:47,067 --> 00:20:49,767 Rry David. I dropped off a prescription the other day. 474 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,467 - Ah yes yes, here we go. - Yeah. 475 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,333 Actually, I want to talk to you about something else too. 476 00:20:54,367 --> 00:20:56,467 I'm going out with a doctor, 477 00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,500 and she wrote me this note, 478 00:20:58,533 --> 00:21:00,767 - and I cannot... - And you can't read it. 479 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,800 I can't read it! It's unbelievable. 480 00:21:02,833 --> 00:21:04,800 - Nobody can! - Yes. 481 00:21:04,833 --> 00:21:06,600 So somebody suggested a pharmacist, 482 00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:08,533 'cause nobody can decipher this thing. 483 00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,333 Let me... let me take a shot. 484 00:21:10,367 --> 00:21:12,367 You're my only hope. 485 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:16,066 "Larry, had a great time last night." 486 00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:19,800 Would love to get together Friday night 487 00:21:19,833 --> 00:21:22,333 - "at the bel-air regency hotel..." - What? 488 00:21:22,367 --> 00:21:24,567 "Just the two of us." 489 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,533 - ( Sighs ) - "so tired of all these 490 00:21:27,567 --> 00:21:29,833 brothers and sisters around. 491 00:21:29,867 --> 00:21:33,067 I know you feel the same way. 492 00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:35,633 Tell me your life wouldn't be better 493 00:21:35,667 --> 00:21:38,467 "without the blacks." 494 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:40,067 Huh? 495 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:44,066 Oh, okay, uh... No no no no no. 496 00:21:44,067 --> 00:21:46,333 Pharmacist: It's your business. 497 00:21:46,367 --> 00:21:48,509 - You're misinterpreting it. - Here's your prescription. 498 00:21:48,533 --> 00:21:50,767 - No, see I've got... - Take your prescription. 499 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,133 - Thank you. - I've got people in my house. 500 00:21:53,167 --> 00:21:55,500 There's... 501 00:21:55,533 --> 00:21:58,200 They're black but their name is black! 502 00:21:58,233 --> 00:22:00,833 She's got... 503 00:22:00,867 --> 00:22:03,433 Her brothers and sisters. 504 00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:17,600 ( Soft piano playing ) 505 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,067 Dr. flomm: It's open. Come on in. 506 00:22:29,467 --> 00:22:33,067 Hi. You have got the worst handwriting... 507 00:22:33,100 --> 00:22:34,800 - ( Laughs ) - are you out of your mind? 508 00:22:34,833 --> 00:22:37,066 - No? You couldn't read it? - You expect anybody to... 509 00:22:37,067 --> 00:22:39,167 couldn't read it? I gave it to 10,000... - oh! 510 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,633 - A pharmacist, a pharmacist wound up... - I'm so sorry. 511 00:22:41,667 --> 00:22:44,367 - Translating that for me. - Oh, I'm sorry. 512 00:22:49,433 --> 00:22:50,633 Mm. 513 00:23:11,933 --> 00:23:13,967 Larry: Thanks for driving me home. 514 00:23:14,067 --> 00:23:15,467 Really, I... I couldn't drive. 515 00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:17,200 I just don't... I don't feel like... 516 00:23:17,233 --> 00:23:19,767 I feel nauseous and like I'm drugged or something. 517 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,267 And as far as what happened earlier, 518 00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:25,267 I'm mean, you know, usually like, five-Mississippi. 519 00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:27,733 Honest to god, five-Mississippi... ( Claps ) 520 00:23:28,767 --> 00:23:30,633 That's all I need. 521 00:23:30,667 --> 00:23:32,967 Why don't you just go? 522 00:23:38,867 --> 00:23:41,133 Well... good night. 523 00:24:04,133 --> 00:24:06,467 Ugh! 524 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,800 ( Orchestra playing ) 525 00:25:06,067 --> 00:25:07,867 ( Sighs ) 526 00:25:09,367 --> 00:25:11,967 ( Jeff snoring ) 527 00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:17,133 Leon: Ahhh! 528 00:25:17,167 --> 00:25:20,167 Somebody go in there and put a sock in that motherfucker's mouth! 529 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:21,967 ( Knocks at door ) 530 00:25:22,067 --> 00:25:23,867 ( Moaning ) 531 00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:25,800 ( Knocks ) 532 00:25:25,833 --> 00:25:27,800 One second! 533 00:25:29,533 --> 00:25:31,500 ( Door-knocker rapping ) 534 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,133 Hey, l.D. 535 00:25:37,167 --> 00:25:39,200 - What's going on? - Come on in, it's cold. 536 00:25:39,233 --> 00:25:41,533 - You're back? - Yeah. Couldn't sleep. 537 00:25:41,567 --> 00:25:43,733 Jeff's snore? Man, I'm telling you, that was awful. 538 00:25:43,767 --> 00:25:45,867 Worse than the damn hurricane. 539 00:25:45,900 --> 00:25:48,900 - I know, it's terrible. - Kids need to sleep here. Y'all go on up to bed. 540 00:25:48,933 --> 00:25:50,433 - Good night, Larry. - Good night. 541 00:25:50,467 --> 00:25:52,267 - Good night, mom. - Good night, y'all. 542 00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:56,066 Talk to your boy, man. Shit, that motherfucker swallowed a kazoo. 543 00:25:56,067 --> 00:25:59,233 - Ridiculous. All fucking night! - Yeah. 544 00:26:00,967 --> 00:26:03,066 Come on! 545 00:26:03,067 --> 00:26:05,067 It's safe. It's safe. 546 00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:07,433 One-Mississippi, two-Mississippi, 547 00:26:07,467 --> 00:26:10,067 three-Mississippi... 548 00:26:10,100 --> 00:26:12,367 Jeff: My own daughter locks herself in her room, 549 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,833 won't come out whenever I'm home. 550 00:26:14,867 --> 00:26:17,900 My wife... one of the most warm, loving people 551 00:26:17,933 --> 00:26:19,066 you could ever meet... 552 00:26:19,067 --> 00:26:21,500 Has turned into a witch. 553 00:26:21,533 --> 00:26:24,467 A witch! 'Cause I'm bald. It's changed everything. 554 00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:27,100 Ben stiller won't work with me 555 00:26:27,133 --> 00:26:30,467 because I'm bald! I mean, come on. 556 00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:33,200 Do you know how many millions I'm losing because of that? 557 00:26:33,233 --> 00:26:34,900 Millions I'm losing! 558 00:26:34,933 --> 00:26:37,467 All right, I don't know what else to say. Thank you. 559 00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:40,067 All right, Mr. Greene. I understand now we're going to hear 560 00:26:40,100 --> 00:26:42,367 from Mr. Larry David, 561 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,867 who will testify on Mr. Greene's behalf. Mr. David? 562 00:26:45,900 --> 00:26:48,133 - Thank you for being here. - You're welcome. 563 00:26:48,167 --> 00:26:50,467 Mr. David, as you know, we are looking into 564 00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:52,867 allegations of physician misconduct 565 00:26:52,900 --> 00:26:55,100 stemming from the incident 566 00:26:55,133 --> 00:26:56,967 on the 17th of this month. 567 00:26:57,067 --> 00:26:59,500 Would you please tell the board what happened? 568 00:26:59,533 --> 00:27:02,367 I was having lunch in the cafeteria, 569 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,567 and I excused myself to go to the bathroom. 570 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:09,333 You know, it's... It's a thing we all do. 571 00:27:09,367 --> 00:27:11,333 It's not a crime, right? 572 00:27:11,367 --> 00:27:14,167 - Don't have to be embarrassed. - No need for embarrassment. 573 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,533 Go ahead. 574 00:27:15,567 --> 00:27:17,233 Anyway, I went into the stall. 575 00:27:17,267 --> 00:27:20,400 Generally, when I... When I use a public toilet, 576 00:27:20,433 --> 00:27:23,067 I'll... I'll go into the stall as opposed to the urinals. 577 00:27:23,100 --> 00:27:25,667 I find there's, you know, there's no privacy. 578 00:27:25,700 --> 00:27:28,533 And if there's no dividers, it's kind of like going in a trough. 579 00:27:28,567 --> 00:27:30,467 All right, all right. Go ahead, please. 580 00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:32,667 Anyway, so I went into the stall... 581 00:27:32,700 --> 00:27:35,367 I guess it's kind of a habit now 582 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,500 for me to go into the stall, in a way. 583 00:27:37,533 --> 00:27:39,767 Um, if it's open, if it's available, 584 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,600 I'll... I'll generally take the stall. 585 00:27:41,633 --> 00:27:44,833 Of course, what you find in there is... you know, is anybody's guess. 586 00:27:44,867 --> 00:27:47,233 Anyway, so I'm in the stall, 587 00:27:47,267 --> 00:27:51,733 and I overhear this guy talking on his cell phone. 588 00:27:51,767 --> 00:27:55,066 And he's talking to a friend of his, and he's getting very upset 589 00:27:55,067 --> 00:27:57,066 'cause he had to move some furniture 590 00:27:57,067 --> 00:27:59,367 and he hurt his hand. And he... and he's saying, 591 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,167 "and then I hurt my hand 'cause this 300-lb..." - ( door closes ) 592 00:28:03,900 --> 00:28:05,700 Sorry I'm late. 593 00:28:05,733 --> 00:28:07,567 ( Man clears throat ) 594 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,400 Please continue, Mr. David. 595 00:28:10,433 --> 00:28:12,933 Go ahead, sir. 596 00:28:12,967 --> 00:28:14,533 Please continue. 597 00:28:16,867 --> 00:28:18,967 Mr. David, is there a problem? 598 00:28:19,067 --> 00:28:23,067 Please, tell us what the man on the cell phone said. 599 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,066 Mr. David, tell us what the man said! 600 00:28:29,067 --> 00:28:31,700 - Just say it! - You are wasting this committee's time. 601 00:28:31,733 --> 00:28:34,367 - Larry, tell 'em. - Please tell us what the man said. 602 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,267 - Say it! - Tell 'em! Will you tell them? 603 00:28:36,300 --> 00:28:38,067 - Just say it! - Larry, just tell 'em! 604 00:28:38,100 --> 00:28:39,909 - Tell us what the man said! - Tell them, please? 605 00:28:39,933 --> 00:28:42,200 - Just do it, Larry! - Tell us now, Mr. David! 606 00:28:42,233 --> 00:28:44,900 - Just say it! - Larry, tell 'em! 607 00:28:44,933 --> 00:28:52,933 ( Theme music playing ) 608 00:28:54,967 --> 00:29:02,967 ( Theme music playing )