1 00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:08,076 ( Theme music playing ) 2 00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:18,686 - ( Woman crying ) It's okay. Let it go. 3 00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:23,057 Let it go. This is pushing buttons, and that's all right. 4 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:25,926 - No, you're safe, you're safe. - Uh... 5 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,596 It's all right. Let it go. 6 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:31,532 - Oh my. Oh. - Uh... 7 00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:35,436 - Oh. - I just want to get some chubby hubby. 8 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,805 Sir, could you please give us a moment? 9 00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:40,341 Yeah, aw. 10 00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:41,642 Aw aw. 11 00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:44,145 Yes, aw. 12 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:47,115 A little to the left... Or the right. 13 00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:52,120 - Separate separate. - Excuse me. 14 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:53,954 I'm trying to get to the chubby hubby. 15 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,256 - Yes, you said that. - Yeah. 16 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:58,659 Yes, okay, that's a good girl. 17 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:01,362 Oh oh my. 18 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:03,331 Poor baby. 19 00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:06,400 Sir! Excuse me. Now I've tried to be nice. 20 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,103 I have asked you to give us some space. 21 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:12,473 - What's this about? - None of your business. 22 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,275 Personal... It's a personal thing? 23 00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:17,711 - Would you please? - Okay, all right. 24 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,947 Thank you. 25 00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:22,650 Don't pay attention to that jerk. 26 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:26,053 Oh, it's okay. 27 00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:29,022 Oh, are you all right, sweetheart? 28 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:31,559 It's gonna be... 29 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:34,162 Marty: You're not going to believe this. 30 00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:36,964 Richard is dating a burlesque dancer. 31 00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:38,342 - I had dinner with them. - Really? 32 00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:39,833 I don't like to sound like a pig, 33 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,069 but she has magnificent breasts. 34 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,472 - What's she like? - She's dumb. 35 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,240 ( Snickers ) 36 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:49,910 All she wanted to talk about was how she dances, 37 00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,879 how the crowd loves her and... 38 00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,214 - Oh, here he is. - I'm sorry. 39 00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:56,150 Huh? - Let me alone. Don't yell at me. 40 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,552 They moved the audition. It's in 10 minutes. 41 00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:01,054 I was on the phone with an ex-girlfriend who was suicidal, 42 00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:04,492 so I couldn't exactly hang up to say I want to go to a salad bar. 43 00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,470 Wait, she's going to commit suicide and she calls you? 44 00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:08,596 A lot of people call me who are suicidal. 45 00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:10,464 I don't think you'd be my suicide call. 46 00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,376 - You're kidding me. - No, I don't think you'd be. 47 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,235 What would bring you to the brink of suicide? 48 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,012 Can I ask him why he wouldn't call me first? 49 00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:17,080 - What would bring you... - Him. 50 00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:18,439 - He would? - He would. 51 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:20,659 So you'd be calling the guy who caused you to... okay. 52 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:23,010 By the way, are you dating a burlesque dancer? 53 00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:25,479 - What makes you say that? - We heard. 54 00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:28,182 I didn't say anything bad. I said she was beautiful. 55 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,394 - Why do you have to blab about my personal life? - What do you mean? 56 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,329 You didn't swear him to secrecy. What's the big deal? 57 00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:34,154 Hey, if it wasn't for fucking burlesque, 58 00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:35,632 we wouldn't have chaplin or the Marx brothers. 59 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:38,292 Oh, chaplin was a great pole dancer. 60 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:40,170 Admit it, the only reason you're going out with her 61 00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:41,529 is because of her ample bosom. 62 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,797 That's despicable to say that to me. Of course not. 63 00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:48,135 - For her brains and her sense of worth. - Have you set a date aside 64 00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:50,170 when you're going to finally look at her face? 65 00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:52,139 ( Laughing ) 66 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,208 That's... that's really funny. 67 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,676 Yeah, laugh it up. 68 00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:59,213 Listen, I have an audition now, so if you don't mind. 69 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,981 - I'll see you later. - That's very funny. 70 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,950 That's it? You come for two minutes? 71 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:05,161 - I told you why I'm late. I have an audition. - All right. 72 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,554 Quite frankly I'm a little offended 73 00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:09,223 by you just focusing on a woman's breasts and nipples 74 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:10,700 when maybe I'm in love with her, all right? 75 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,068 - So how does that... - You're always in love. 76 00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,494 No, I'm not always in love. 77 00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,872 She also gives to charity and she has a great personality. 78 00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,207 - She gives to charity? - That's right. 79 00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:18,666 - Jeff: Milk? - Huh? 80 00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:19,976 - Jeff: She gives milk? - That's funny too? 81 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,569 You guys are on a fuckin' roll. 82 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,737 - I'm out. - Dance for underprivileged kids. 83 00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:26,874 - Charity! - Marty: Gives to charity? 84 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:29,854 - All right, I gotta go. - Look at the stuff that comes out of his mouth. 85 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,712 - I got an idea. - Jeff: Hmm? 86 00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:35,616 Why don't the three of us, one night this week, go see her dance? 87 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:38,118 - Hell yes. - We're not doing anything wrong. 88 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,388 No, let's go. He never said we couldn't. 89 00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:42,089 We can't say anything to him. 90 00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:43,891 Who's gonna... He doesn't need to know. 91 00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:46,327 We sit in the back. I say we go. 92 00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,462 - What are you doing? - I don't need to do that. 93 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,722 - I did a hands in. - Please, we don't need a hands in. 94 00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:52,232 I'm gonna get going. You got lunch? 95 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:55,469 - I got it. I got it. - Okay, thank you. 96 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,170 Yeah, let's go see her. What the hell? 97 00:03:57,271 --> 00:04:00,007 Oh, you'll love it, believe me. 98 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,244 Excuse me, I've just gotta run out for one second. 99 00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:06,265 Could you just keep an eye on my computer for me? 100 00:04:06,314 --> 00:04:08,482 - Sure. - Thanks. 101 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,468 Excuse me. 102 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:29,603 Would you mind keeping an eye on that computer? 103 00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:32,840 - The guy asked me, but I have to go. - Um, yeah sure, okay. 104 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,275 Good, thanks. 105 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:51,925 Aha! 106 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:54,562 Ha ha! 107 00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:57,965 Okay, this is the dog. 108 00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:00,601 This is the dog that's been going on my lawn. 109 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,703 - No bag? Where's your bag? - Well... 110 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,738 You know, life... it gets so crazy sometimes. 111 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,474 - Oh, life gets crazy? - Yeah. 112 00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:08,084 If you're gonna have a dog, you have to have a bag. 113 00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:10,378 I will bring a bag. I didn't bring a bag today. 114 00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:14,548 - I'm really sorry about that. - Because the dog without the bag... it's incomplete. 115 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,250 It's a marriage. The bag and the dog, they go together. 116 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,186 I just don't see why you had to yell at me. 117 00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:21,188 I'm yelling for society, for everybody. 118 00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:22,723 - It's not just me. - Got it. 119 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,925 - People make mistakes. - Every day? 120 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,894 Roscoe, come. 121 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:30,297 ( Jazz music playing ) 122 00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:32,332 Marty: Don't you love this place? 123 00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:34,544 - Leon: This shit is fucking amazing. - Marty: It's great. 124 00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:35,969 - Yeah. - Do you love it? 125 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,871 - What are you doing? - I'm looking for Lewis. 126 00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,616 Let loose. He's not here. Have a good time. 127 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,141 Marty: We ought to do this more often. 128 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,076 Come to disgusting strip clubs? 129 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,622 - Why is it disgusting? - Disgusting? Fuckin'... that's a harsh word. 130 00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,982 - Watch this shit. - ( Crowd cheering ) 131 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,585 - That's her. That's her. - That's her? 132 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:57,391 It's like jell-o pudding inside of those motherfuckers. 133 00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,893 She is communicating right now. You understand? 134 00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,929 In Hawaii they move hands and hips. 135 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,397 Out here it's titties. 136 00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:04,808 The fuckin' titties are talking right now. 137 00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,634 And what exactly are they saying? 138 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,145 Those titties are a blabbermouth, you know what I'm talking about? 139 00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:11,439 They're fuckin' just yippity-yapping right now. 140 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:14,608 ( Crowd cheering ) 141 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:25,919 ( Slurping ) 142 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:30,290 - Did you have fun? - No, not really. 143 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,593 - Boy, I had a blast. - You know what I think? 144 00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:35,228 - What? - I think Lewis has lost his mind. 145 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:38,031 - Why? - I just saw his girlfriend's tits, that's why. 146 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:41,602 So what? He's not gonna marry her. He's just having fun. 147 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:56,817 How can you not tell me you were going to see Stella? 148 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,128 - She's my girlfriend, for Christ's sakes. - Yeah, you're right. 149 00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,430 We probably should have told you. 150 00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:02,355 But you didn't say we shouldn't go. 151 00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:05,826 And by the way, if you're dating somebody who takes their clothes off in public, 152 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,128 then what's the difference? Everybody's gonna see her. 153 00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:10,430 You went there like a pervert. 154 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:11,965 Hey, I didn't even see that much. 155 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:14,243 What percentage of the show did you look at her breasts? 156 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,411 - I saw like... - Hello, tiger. 157 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,515 Hi, honey. Good to see you. 158 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:17,690 Hi, sweetie. Sorry I'm late. 159 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,673 This is Larry, one of my oldest friends. 160 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,585 - Hi, nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you. - Hi. 161 00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,343 I thought you said he was old. 162 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,613 - You don't seem that old. - Well... 163 00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,915 - sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. - Mrs. Cole, 164 00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:31,018 I didn't know Marilyn Monroe was on the base, sir. 165 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,854 He made out like you were a granddad, you know? 166 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,122 You called me old? 167 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,124 You're two days older than I am. 168 00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:39,660 You're a dissipated alcoholic. How dare you? 169 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,505 - Recovering alcoholic. - All right, recovering. 170 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:44,173 Okay, listen, sorry. I didn't mean to start an argument or anything. 171 00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:47,868 That's okay. By the way, I actually did see your show last night. 172 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:51,772 - You came to see my show? - Yes, I enjoyed the presentation. 173 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,340 What do you know about burlesque? 174 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,080 I saw the movie "gypsy" with Natalie wood. 175 00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:57,845 Oh, then you should be a professor at Ohio state and teach this. 176 00:07:57,945 --> 00:07:59,847 It sounds like you appreciate the art form. 177 00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:01,549 Well, I appreciate naked women. 178 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,651 Did you like the air fucking number I did? 179 00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:05,762 - The air fucking was sensational. - You liked that? 180 00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:06,854 - Yeah yeah? - Yes. 181 00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:08,556 But let me just say this, okay? 182 00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:10,591 Your breasts are magnificent. 183 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:13,026 - Oh, thank you. Thank you. - What did you just say? 184 00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,495 You're not dissecting a frog in 12th-grade biology. 185 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,231 - It's okay. I take it as a compliment. - She's not a specimen. 186 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,434 By the way, I did notice in the show 187 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,337 that there's a small mole 188 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:25,877 on the underside of your right breast 189 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,641 that you might want to get checked out. 190 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:29,686 - Are you being serious? There's a mole? - Yeah yeah yeah. 191 00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:34,447 Okay. - How did you see a small mole from where you were sitting? 192 00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,325 I have breast vision and that's how I'm able to... 193 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,589 - You have breast vision? - Yes. 194 00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:38,962 Why don't you go to every burlesque show 195 00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,821 and just stare at all the breasts? 196 00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,522 I could be a burlesque dermatologist. 197 00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,583 - We'll get it checked out. - Thank you very much. 198 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,660 - For sure. - You're welcome. 199 00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:52,666 Well well well, look who's here. 200 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,469 - You don't remember me? - No. 201 00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:58,438 I'm the idiot who asked you 202 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,909 to look after my computer yesterday, remember? 203 00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:05,145 - Yeah. So where is it? - You didn't get that back? 204 00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,280 No, I didn't get it back. Why am I asking you? 205 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,618 I didn't get it back and it's gone and so were you. 206 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:12,452 You were taking such a long time. 207 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,788 I had to get going and I gave it to someone. 208 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,724 - Who did you give it to? - I don't know. 209 00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:19,492 - I gave it to some black guy. - You gave it to some black guy? 210 00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:22,562 Yeah. You gave it to a black guy?! 211 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:31,204 Because that's... I mean... 212 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:34,174 What I was about to say was 213 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:37,177 why wouldn't you give it to a black person? 214 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,380 In fact, that day when we were in there, 215 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,515 I had been looking for a black person 216 00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,151 to leave my computer with. 217 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,219 I didn't see one, so I left it with you. 218 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:47,688 Left it with me. Good good. 219 00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:49,757 I'm sure it's gonna turn up. 220 00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:52,159 - I'll keep my eyes peeled for him. - I'm gonna go in. 221 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:55,095 - He's probably dropped it off in there. - Probably dropped it off. 222 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,797 - Take care. - Okay. 223 00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:58,966 Leon: Larry! ( Laughs ) 224 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,101 What up, man? 225 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:04,371 Oh, uh... nothing. 226 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:07,107 - Who's that dude, man? - Well, I mean it's not a big deal. 227 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:09,977 He gave me his computer to watch... 228 00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:11,779 - Uh-huh. - And I had to leave. 229 00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:13,647 And I gave it to this guy 230 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:16,083 and he never gave the computer back. 231 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,685 Who the fuck did you give it to? 232 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,787 It was a guy. Not important. 233 00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:23,390 Who the fuck did you give it to? 234 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,825 A black guy. 235 00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:27,828 - Wow. - I'm sorry. 236 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,629 - God damn. - I didn't want to tell you. 237 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,741 - A fuckin' black dude in there... - you forced it out of me. 238 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,176 I feel fuckin' bad now. Know what I mean? 239 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,802 You trusted that black motherfucker. 240 00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,262 - You know what I'm saying? - Yeah. 241 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:37,847 I don't want you thinking that shit about me, 242 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,039 you understand? 243 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,579 I could've stole this motherfucker... 244 00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,109 Plenty of times, but I didn't. 245 00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:44,009 I know the code to the fuckin' house and shit. 246 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,846 3948, right? The last four 247 00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:47,715 of your social security card number is 4938. 248 00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:48,825 All you did was change it around. 249 00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:50,117 All that shit I fuckin' know. 250 00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,985 Remember that time you gave me the atm card 251 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:53,486 to get gas for the car and shit? 252 00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:54,788 And your signature... come on. 253 00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,523 It's a big l. It's real clear, right? 254 00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:58,458 Then the "arry David" is sloppy. 255 00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:01,895 Any man can do that shit. Your mom's maiden name... ratner. You know what I mean? 256 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,395 - All they wanna know is that part. - Where are the car keys? 257 00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,166 - Inside the car. - I'll drive. 258 00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:08,535 Who the fuck told you my mother's maiden name?! 259 00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:10,246 - I must've overheard it. - You're going through my shit! 260 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,839 There's shit laying around the house! 261 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:14,241 Where the fuck did you find out my mother's maiden... 262 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,844 ( Doorbell rings ) 263 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,981 - Oh, hi. - Hello. 264 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,850 I'm your neighbor Margaret. 265 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:24,617 Actually, I'm realizing now 266 00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:26,963 - that we've run into each other before. - The supermarket. 267 00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:29,289 Oh yeah, that was kind of an awkward thing there. 268 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,324 I was just trying to get some ice cream. 269 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,626 - I understand that. I understand that. - Chubby hubby. 270 00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:37,297 You wouldn't move over. It was odd. 271 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,833 Well, there was a little more to it than that. 272 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:41,869 I know the woman was crying. I saw that. 273 00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:43,170 - Right, yeah. - But still, 274 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,172 she could have cried a foot or two over. 275 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:46,874 You see, the reason she was crying 276 00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:49,943 is she's a new member of our safe house 277 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,611 that I'm the housemother for. 278 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,780 - Safe house? - Yes. 279 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,547 Some people call them battered women. 280 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,726 - I choose not to use that phrase. - Oh, they're battered. 281 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,151 I think it's very pejorative. 282 00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:00,988 - So anyway... - Oh, where's the house? 283 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,656 - It's just a couple of doors down. - Seriously? 284 00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:05,158 - Yeah. - Huh. 285 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,178 And speaking of those women, a couple of days ago 286 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:09,729 I think there was a little incident 287 00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,331 with one of our members and her dog. 288 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:14,134 She's also part of the sorority over there? 289 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,969 Well, we don't call it a sorority. 290 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,338 - But yes, she is one of our members. - Oh my god. 291 00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:21,608 And saundra was so upset when she came home. 292 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,243 - She was upset? - Yes. 293 00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:25,378 Her dog pooped all over my lawn three times. 294 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,647 She doesn't clean it up. She doesn't bring a bag. 295 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,250 What we would love as neighbors and friends... 296 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:33,320 To invite you in to start a discussion. 297 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,790 And you can talk to Karen and you can talk to saundra 298 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,859 and you can bring up your issues 299 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,560 and perhaps apologize... 300 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:43,063 Apologize? - ...For any discomfort you caused them. 301 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,697 I don't know why I would apologize. 302 00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,399 - I didn't really do anything. - Well... 303 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,969 - all I want to do is buy some ice cream. - I know. 304 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:52,072 - All I want to do is have a clean lawn... - I understand. 305 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,841 - Without poop on it. - Exactly. 306 00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:55,242 I didn't really do anything. 307 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,344 And you know what would be wonderful, Larry? 308 00:12:57,444 --> 00:13:00,948 Is that so many of these women have a negative connotation 309 00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:03,951 - as far as a male perspective goes. - Of course, yes. 310 00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:05,953 So it would be so great 311 00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:09,789 to have a safe man in their midst 312 00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,859 that could give them a male perspective 313 00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,894 that they could feel good about hearing. 314 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:16,897 So I would be representing men. 315 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,631 In a safe place, yes. 316 00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:22,035 - What do you say? - I'm happy to be the male representative. 317 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,304 Oh my goodness, that's wonderful. 318 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,273 Maybe I could drum up a date over there, huh? 319 00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:30,010 Oh, now Larry, let's remember boundaries. 320 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:33,246 Hi. A little bit of a surprise for all of you. 321 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:37,550 - I'd like to introduce our neighbor and friend Larry. - Hello. 322 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,419 What a great pleasure to meet you all. 323 00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:42,722 By the way, very nice house, if you don't mind my saying. 324 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,691 - Beautiful. - Margaret: Isn't it nice? 325 00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:46,459 I don't know where you were living before, 326 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,795 but I would think this probably would be a step up. 327 00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:50,663 You hit the jackpot with this place, huh? 328 00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:53,533 You know what, Larry? Thank you for admiring our home. 329 00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:56,103 You're really hitting the cake here, huh? And donuts? 330 00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,271 You're welcome to help yourself. 331 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,149 I hope you guys are working out eating this... 332 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,042 My father would call this crap. 333 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:03,542 - ( Laughs ) - that's a lot of crap. 334 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:07,547 Larry, I think you might remember our friend saundra. 335 00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,449 - A pleasure. - Hi. 336 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,684 Did you have anything you wanted to say to saundra? 337 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,921 I do have something I'd like to say. 338 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,957 First off, I want to apologize 339 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:20,793 if I hurt your feelings in any way 340 00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:23,430 as a result of the dog pooping. 341 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:24,764 I was just going to say 342 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,700 that your anger is your problem 343 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,569 and it's not my problem anymore. 344 00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:32,072 - Huh, interesting. - Okay, but it really was great 345 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:35,909 that Larry acknowledged your feelings and apologized. 346 00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:39,812 - I guess, yeah. - Hmm, she doesn't seem to be too overwhelmed by it. 347 00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:41,281 But you know what? 348 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,851 I feel very good about that interaction and... 349 00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:48,188 It's just that dogs don't really have control of when they go. 350 00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,423 Yeah, but the owner has control of where the dog goes. 351 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,868 - Right. You know what? - Do you want to apologize to my dog? 352 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,361 Because you really yelled at my dog. 353 00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,930 Yeah, it's very hard to apologize to a dog 354 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,032 because they're a stupid animal. 355 00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:00,733 You know, okay, again... 356 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,170 We're going to move on down the couch. 357 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:06,606 And I think you may also remember Karen. 358 00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,108 Larry: Karen! 359 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,643 I would just like to apologize to you as well 360 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,846 if I made you uncomfortable in any way at the market... 361 00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:15,715 You did. It's okay. 362 00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:19,352 Wow. - ...When you were bawling in front of the refrigerator. 363 00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:22,455 I have no problem with crying in a grocery store. 364 00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,791 - I was very upset. - I know, I see. 365 00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:27,894 I would suggest, however, that the next time 366 00:15:27,995 --> 00:15:29,929 you feel overwhelmed by something 367 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,598 to go to a different section, 368 00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:34,934 a section that's not used as much as the ice cream 369 00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,569 which gets a lot of action. 370 00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:39,206 I would go maybe to the... Where the Japanese food is. 371 00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:40,946 The hoisin sauce I don't think is a big... 372 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,675 It's not like buying ice cream. 373 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,056 - It's a different... - Margaret: Again, I am going to say 374 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:46,446 we're going to concentrate 375 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:48,848 on the positive part of what you had to say. 376 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,650 - So... - Who's that one? 377 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,785 - That is Dale. She's one of our members. - Dale? 378 00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,454 - Yes. - Wow. 379 00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,232 Why don't you finish what you were saying to Karen? 380 00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:58,125 What a bovine she is, huh? 381 00:15:58,225 --> 00:15:59,993 - Jesus. - Well, okay, so... 382 00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:01,761 She's like the capo here, huh? 383 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,496 No. No, she's not, Larry. 384 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,232 Does she run the show? Tell me the truth. 385 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:08,435 No, she doesn't. Nobody runs the show. 386 00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:12,005 Is this the inspirational speaker that we're getting? 387 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,274 No, that's next week. 388 00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:17,177 This is our friend and neighbor Larry. 389 00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:19,979 Oh my god. What happened to you? 390 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,515 We are again going to stay in the present moment, 391 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,851 - being grateful and being... - Inspirational speaker? 392 00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:27,120 Happy. What in the fuck is she talking about? 393 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:29,022 We have somebody coming in next week. 394 00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:32,025 And I think she just got confused. 395 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,826 - But instead... - Yeah, I could see that. 396 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,429 - Margaret: Um, now... - The washing machine's fucked. 397 00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:37,997 Thank you, Dale. 398 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,667 That darn washing machine. I'll tell you, we... 399 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:44,071 We use it so much, as you can imagine, with all of our members. 400 00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:46,273 I'll tell you what I'll do for you. 401 00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:48,508 If you need a machine, you're welcome to come 402 00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,710 and use my machine anytime you want. 403 00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,179 - Oh my goodness. - How about that? 404 00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:54,447 - Wow. Oh, is that generous. - Huh huh? 405 00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,849 - That is incredible. - Isn't that a beautiful gesture? 406 00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:59,669 - That is great. - Give me a little round of applause if you want to. 407 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,288 It won't kill you. Go ahead. 408 00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:03,323 Margaret: That would be fine. Sure. Why not? 409 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,725 - You deserve that. - That's kind of tepid. 410 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:09,062 - Anyway, thank you. That was very kind of you. - You're welcome. 411 00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:11,331 How about the marm here, huh? How about this marm? 412 00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,133 Okay, well... That's all right, Larry. 413 00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:14,934 - How about this marm? - Okay, thank you. 414 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,770 - Margaret: I think that I'm just gonna say goodbye. - Okay. 415 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,507 If you touch it it's yours. 416 00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:22,775 ( Laughing ) again, thank you, Larry. 417 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,777 Thank you so much. 418 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,147 Ladies, I'm just going to walk our guest to the door. 419 00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,716 - Mm, krispy kreme? - Oh yeah yeah. 420 00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,551 And thank you so much. Okay. 421 00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,851 - This fuckin' thing is unbelievable! - All right, okay. 422 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,755 Larry, thank you again for coming by. 423 00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:38,325 Couldn't be happier. 424 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,793 Did you put one of these disgusting things 425 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,095 back in here after eating it? 426 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,696 I might have. I have bad manners. 427 00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,166 There's a whole side dish here for the remnants. 428 00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,568 - This is the remnant plate. - Hello, boys. 429 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:49,836 - Hi, beautiful. - Hi. 430 00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,371 - Oh! - Oh hi. 431 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:53,473 - Hello, gorgeous. - I am so happy. 432 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,007 I just came from the doctor 433 00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:56,776 and the mole is absolutely fine. 434 00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,078 - Fantastic! You see that? - Stella: I know, I know. 435 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:00,813 - I knew. - That's good. 436 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,025 - Believe me, I knew all along. - I was so worried for a while. 437 00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,417 I'm very happy for you. 438 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,453 Although if you told me that it wasn't fine, 439 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,597 I still would have been happy because I would have said, 440 00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,990 "see? Good thing I told you to go to the doctor." 441 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,660 And something happened when I saw the doctor. 442 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,095 I started talking about how much pain 443 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,731 I'm always in with my boobs... 444 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:21,268 What do you mean pain? - ...And that I get these backaches. 445 00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:24,271 And I've decided that I... 446 00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:27,974 I'm going to get my breasts reduced. 447 00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:31,378 - You're going to what? - I'm going to get them reduced. 448 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,347 - That's... - ( laughing ) what? 449 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,082 - She's hilarious. - That's funny. 450 00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:37,517 - That's funny. - Stella: No. 451 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,953 - That's a good joke. - I'm serious. Yeah. 452 00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:42,422 - Really? - Yeah. 453 00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:43,956 I get backaches all the time. 454 00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:46,159 It's really really painful. 455 00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:47,627 You take an advil for that stuff. 456 00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:49,727 You throw a couple of stones behind your brassiere. 457 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,340 - You just even it out. - What's the big deal? 458 00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:52,599 - Oh my god. - Like a seesaw. 459 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:54,401 Okay, boys, you obviously don't understand. 460 00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:57,136 Imagine you had huge balls. 461 00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:58,638 - Yeah? - Balls? 462 00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:01,140 Enormous, sweaty, just filled with spunk... 463 00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:03,075 You're comparing breasts with balls? 464 00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:05,612 People hate balls. Balls are reviled. 465 00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:08,648 You can't even mention balls and breasts in the same breath. 466 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:11,351 - Of course you can. Balls are male boobs. - What? 467 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,320 Balls are disgusting. They're hideous. 468 00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:16,256 Everybody wants to see those. Who wants to see balls? 469 00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:17,366 - Right. - People want to see those. 470 00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:18,858 - Sorry. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 471 00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:21,361 Wow, I am talking to two schoolboys right now. 472 00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:23,639 - How much are you planning on taking off? - Maybe half. 473 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,832 - Half? Did you say half? - I'll be able to go jogging. 474 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,734 - Half? - Half, yeah. 475 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,069 You don't just love me for my tits, do you? 476 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:33,706 ( Stuttering ) Larry, please, do I have to defend myself in this? 477 00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:36,576 Hold it, hold it. There's many things you can say about this guy. 478 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:37,977 - But not that. - Not that. 479 00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:39,357 - Thank you. - Right right right. 480 00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:42,181 How could you even suggest that I would think that? 481 00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:45,084 Look, you hurt the man. You hurt the man. 482 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,753 Look at him. It's insulting. 483 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:49,322 - As his friend I'm insulted. - Okay, sorry. 484 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,234 - I just, you know... - Listen, we'll discuss this. 485 00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:54,527 I'm there for you, regardless of what you have to do, because I love you. 486 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,705 - Everything will be fine. - I'm so happy you're so supportive! 487 00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:58,641 Thank you, sweetie. I'm just going to the loo, okay? 488 00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,967 - Back in a sec. - You're the woman of my dreams, 489 00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,902 for Christ's sake. 490 00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:04,371 - You fucking idiot. - What? 491 00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:06,439 You did this. You're responsible for this. 492 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,475 You looked at her mole with a goddamn telescope 493 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,977 like Galileo jerking off from 40' away. 494 00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:12,512 I had breast vision, I told you. 495 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,623 Because of you I'm going to lose this beautiful woman 496 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,649 with that figure, with those boobs. 497 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:19,419 - I thought you didn't care about her breasts. - All right, I lied. 498 00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,821 What am I supposed to do now? Go from a double d to a... 499 00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:25,191 - What's half of double d? - B+? No, b-. 500 00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:27,460 B-. It's closer to the d, yes. 501 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,272 What's closer to the d, the minus or the plus? 502 00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:30,606 I don't give a shit, quite frankly. 503 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,365 This is not algebra. This is my life. 504 00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:35,435 - Life is short. How dare she? - How dare she? 505 00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,535 Yeah, what gives her the right? It's self-centered. 506 00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:38,938 - It really is. - It is selfish. 507 00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:40,473 - Isn't it? - Totally. 508 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,709 Larry: She's getting half of it taken off. 509 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,043 Reduce them by half. 510 00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:46,289 There shouldn't be a motherfucker cutting titties down. 511 00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:47,956 You don't fuckin' wanna reduce your titties by half 512 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,658 and expect a motherfucker to be happy with that shit. 513 00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:52,084 - You know what I'm saying? - I do. 514 00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:54,621 - I do know what you're saying. - You know what I'm saying? 515 00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:56,565 Why do you keep asking me that? I know what you're saying. 516 00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:57,766 Sometimes you don't know what the fuck I'm saying. 517 00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,258 I know what the fuck you're saying. 518 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:00,869 I explain it to you and you don't fucking get it. 519 00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:02,729 I get it. You want to give me a test on it? 520 00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:04,340 You like fucking full titties or half titties? 521 00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:05,932 You got two half titties, right? 522 00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:07,867 - Know no better. - All right, you know what? 523 00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,636 We could talk till we're blue in the face. 524 00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:11,438 I don't mean that as a racial thing either. 525 00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:13,340 Would I ever turn fucking blue? 526 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,280 - It's an expression. - Who turns fuckin' blue? 527 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,577 You say that to white people too. You can't turn blue? 528 00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:20,413 - Hell no I can't turn blue. - Blacks blush. You blush? 529 00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:22,458 - Blacks don't fuckin' blush. - You never saw a black blush. 530 00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:24,384 Never seen a black blush in my fuckin' life. 531 00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:26,353 Blacks don't fuckin' blush. 532 00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:30,757 - Hey, Laura. - Hey, Larry. 533 00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:33,369 - Thank you so much. We really appreciate it. - You're very welcome. 534 00:21:33,393 --> 00:21:34,961 - Did you use the downey? - Yes, I did. 535 00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:37,864 - Hi, Dale. - Hey. 536 00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:43,202 - Wow. - Huh? 537 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:44,902 Whew. Did you get a load of that one? 538 00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:46,649 - Yo, she's something else, man. - Isn't she? 539 00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:47,783 - Who could fuck her up? - I know. 540 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,609 Me and you couldn't take that bitch. 541 00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:51,654 She must have made up a story or something to get in there. 542 00:21:51,678 --> 00:21:54,313 I bet she heard about it from a friend in there. 543 00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:56,916 And my guess is she's living in some dump 544 00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:58,418 and decided to move over. 545 00:21:58,518 --> 00:22:00,319 Gotta find out what the fuck the story is. 546 00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:02,589 I'm going to find out right now. 547 00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:05,592 Shit. 548 00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:10,162 - ( Knocks ) - yoohoo! 549 00:22:10,262 --> 00:22:13,099 - How's the laundry coming along? - It's coming along. 550 00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:15,067 - Huh? Coming along? - Yeah. 551 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:18,471 - You ever ice skate? - No. 552 00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:21,040 Maybe I'll take you ice skating sometime. 553 00:22:21,140 --> 00:22:23,810 - That'd be fun. - I guess. 554 00:22:23,910 --> 00:22:26,813 So, Dale, if you don't mind my saying, 555 00:22:26,913 --> 00:22:30,817 with all due respect, I was just wondering 556 00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:34,186 how you kind of... 557 00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:36,823 You know, wound up over there. 558 00:22:36,923 --> 00:22:40,326 Because it looks like you could... 559 00:22:40,427 --> 00:22:41,794 Take care of yourself. 560 00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:45,698 - It's none of your business. - Ah, okay. 561 00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:49,902 Because the thing about it is that 562 00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:53,806 I just don't see anybody taking you down. 563 00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:55,707 Ahh! 564 00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:57,944 ( Thuds ) 565 00:23:00,613 --> 00:23:02,081 That is some shiner you got there. 566 00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:03,461 Can you tell me how it happened? 567 00:23:03,516 --> 00:23:08,488 I was home and I was talking to somebody. 568 00:23:08,588 --> 00:23:13,993 And... I said something I shouldn't have said. 569 00:23:14,093 --> 00:23:16,463 So this person struck you? 570 00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:20,266 No. I fell. 571 00:23:20,366 --> 00:23:22,702 Yeah, I fell. I'm clumsy. 572 00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:25,505 I'm really clumsy. I trip all the time. 573 00:23:25,605 --> 00:23:28,407 But, you know, I kind of... 574 00:23:28,508 --> 00:23:30,309 I deserved it actually. 575 00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:32,344 - I was wrong. - Leon: Larry. 576 00:23:32,445 --> 00:23:36,449 - Excuse me, we're... - I need some money. 577 00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:38,417 You need money? I gave you $40 yesterday. 578 00:23:38,518 --> 00:23:40,358 - What for? - I'm fuckin' hungry waiting around 579 00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:41,564 all this fuckin' time and shit. 580 00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:43,289 Can't you see I'm in pain here? 581 00:23:43,389 --> 00:23:44,891 I know. I'm sorry. 582 00:23:44,991 --> 00:23:46,593 But I'm fuckin' hungry right now. 583 00:23:46,693 --> 00:23:48,637 - What are you going to get? - Fuckin' fruit chews. 584 00:23:48,661 --> 00:23:50,172 Fruit chews? You know how bad those are for your teeth? 585 00:23:50,196 --> 00:23:51,974 You want to spend the winter in the dentist's office? 586 00:23:51,998 --> 00:23:53,709 - Put this shit on my fuckin' tab. - On your tab? 587 00:23:53,733 --> 00:23:55,377 Yeah. Like you're going to pay me back. 588 00:23:55,401 --> 00:23:57,637 You know I got you. Give me a few dollars. 589 00:23:57,737 --> 00:23:59,672 All right. I'll give you some. 590 00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:02,775 - I love you, Larry. - Yeah, I love you too. 591 00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:05,745 - I'm sorry, you know him? - Yeah, he lives with me. 592 00:24:05,845 --> 00:24:07,880 - You live together? - Yeah, we live together. 593 00:24:07,980 --> 00:24:10,049 Uh-huh. 594 00:24:10,149 --> 00:24:11,518 ( Pounding ) 595 00:24:13,486 --> 00:24:15,187 You know, I didn't even ask him to move in. 596 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,665 He just moved in, doesn't pay any rent 597 00:24:16,689 --> 00:24:18,691 and he eats all my food. 598 00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:21,260 He knows all about me. He knows my mother's maiden name. 599 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:22,905 I've got to get this guy out of my house. 600 00:24:22,929 --> 00:24:25,898 - It's driving me crazy. - Mr. David, is there anything 601 00:24:25,998 --> 00:24:28,568 that you'd like to tell me about this accident? 602 00:24:28,668 --> 00:24:30,903 This is completely in confidence. 603 00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:34,340 ( Banging ) 604 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,910 - No, mm-mm. - Are you sure? 605 00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:41,047 - Yeah. - Okay. 606 00:24:49,656 --> 00:24:52,258 - Hello? - Larry. Lewis. 607 00:24:52,358 --> 00:24:53,693 - Hey! - Hey, how are you doing? 608 00:24:53,793 --> 00:24:55,427 Good. What's happening? 609 00:24:55,528 --> 00:24:58,765 Stella is going through with the breast reduction on Friday. 610 00:24:58,865 --> 00:25:01,701 - Oh, I am so sorry. - So on Thursday 611 00:25:01,801 --> 00:25:05,437 I'm going to throw myself and those breasts a farewell party 612 00:25:05,538 --> 00:25:07,273 like they've never seen in their lives. 613 00:25:07,373 --> 00:25:10,276 - A breast blowout. - A breast blowout. Exactly right. 614 00:25:10,376 --> 00:25:12,712 Because I'm going to go to the biltmore downtown. 615 00:25:12,812 --> 00:25:14,156 I'm going to have all their favorite 616 00:25:14,180 --> 00:25:16,482 frozen margaritas and put flowers there. 617 00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:17,793 It's like the last time you're going to see them, 618 00:25:17,817 --> 00:25:19,652 - like going off to war. - Absolutely. 619 00:25:19,752 --> 00:25:22,789 I never went to 'nam and I feel like this is sort of like... in a way 620 00:25:22,889 --> 00:25:24,933 - sort of the same thing for me. - All right, good luck. 621 00:25:24,957 --> 00:25:26,993 - I'll speak to you soon. - Okay. 622 00:25:33,499 --> 00:25:35,844 Oh my god, so I asked you to watch this computer for two minutes. 623 00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:38,428 I told you to give it to the guy when he comes back in, and what? 624 00:25:38,470 --> 00:25:40,607 You... you... 625 00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:47,046 ( snaps fingers ) 626 00:25:47,146 --> 00:25:48,948 You're not the guy. 627 00:25:49,048 --> 00:25:50,617 All right, I made a mistake. 628 00:25:50,717 --> 00:25:51,994 I thought you were somebody else. 629 00:25:52,018 --> 00:25:53,586 - Sorry. - Who did you think I was? 630 00:25:53,686 --> 00:25:56,789 I thought you were this guy who I told to watch 631 00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:59,491 this computer and... He stole it. 632 00:25:59,592 --> 00:26:02,662 Oh. So was this guy black or white? 633 00:26:02,762 --> 00:26:06,165 Pfft, happened to be black. 634 00:26:06,265 --> 00:26:09,602 So you think that all black people look alike? 635 00:26:10,737 --> 00:26:15,041 I think all computers look alike. 636 00:26:15,141 --> 00:26:17,209 ( Clicks tongue ) 637 00:26:17,309 --> 00:26:19,078 Have a nice day. 638 00:26:20,546 --> 00:26:21,848 Saundra: One statement. 639 00:26:21,948 --> 00:26:23,883 It's hard to make decisions in the moment. 640 00:26:23,983 --> 00:26:25,685 So buy a bunch of one thing 641 00:26:25,785 --> 00:26:27,920 and then we have a lot of one things to choose... 642 00:26:28,020 --> 00:26:30,957 - excuse me, I gotta get in here. - Sir, don't ever touch me. 643 00:26:31,057 --> 00:26:33,259 Sorry, we're from a battered women's shelter. 644 00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:38,264 Well, it looks like you could take care of yourself, honestly. 645 00:26:38,364 --> 00:26:40,366 - ( Crunches ) - ahh! 646 00:26:46,806 --> 00:26:48,607 - Oh my god. - Hey. I know. 647 00:26:48,708 --> 00:26:50,109 It's me, Bob, from the restaurant, 648 00:26:50,209 --> 00:26:51,920 - your neighbor. - Oh my god, are you serious? 649 00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:53,780 Yes. I'm so sorry. I had to take off. 650 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,520 I know you asked me to watch the computer, 651 00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:57,116 but nobody else looked trustworthy. 652 00:26:57,216 --> 00:26:58,761 I couldn't leave it there, so I took it with me 653 00:26:58,785 --> 00:26:59,962 and I figured I'd track you down. 654 00:26:59,986 --> 00:27:01,854 And now we can find the rightful owner. 655 00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:04,132 Nobody else looked trustworthy. And I thought you took it! 656 00:27:04,156 --> 00:27:06,625 - Well, I did, but I'm bringing it back. - Yeah, right. 657 00:27:06,726 --> 00:27:09,495 You know what? I gotta return some laundry to some neighbors. 658 00:27:09,595 --> 00:27:11,163 - Okay. - You got two minutes? 659 00:27:11,263 --> 00:27:13,383 - Can you wait in the house for me? - Yeah yeah, sure. 660 00:27:13,465 --> 00:27:17,737 - Make yourself at home and I'll be right back. - Okay. 661 00:27:21,708 --> 00:27:23,676 ( Knocking at door ) 662 00:27:27,379 --> 00:27:30,549 Hi, sir. We're responding to a domestic battery call. 663 00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:32,719 I don't live here. 664 00:27:32,819 --> 00:27:35,187 The owner of the house, he just left. 665 00:27:35,287 --> 00:27:37,565 Sir, you match the description of somebody who's been reported 666 00:27:37,589 --> 00:27:39,892 - for domestic battery at this address. - No no no no no. 667 00:27:39,992 --> 00:27:42,070 See, the owner, he just walked out. He'll be right back. 668 00:27:42,094 --> 00:27:43,806 Apparently you've been living here with Mr. David 669 00:27:43,830 --> 00:27:45,040 and he's been trying to get rid of you. 670 00:27:45,064 --> 00:27:46,833 It's all in the doctor's statement. 671 00:27:46,933 --> 00:27:49,035 No no no no no. Look, we can just talk to Mr. David. 672 00:27:49,135 --> 00:27:51,313 - He'll explain everything. - You won't be speaking to Mr. David. 673 00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:53,405 - He's being moved to a safe house. - What?! 674 00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:56,225 - No no! I was just returning a computer. - You're going to jail now. 675 00:27:56,308 --> 00:27:58,420 A computer. I don't live here. You're making a mistake. 676 00:27:58,444 --> 00:28:01,948 Wait for the guy to come back. He'll tell... god damn it! 677 00:28:09,655 --> 00:28:12,992 ( Touch tones beeping ) 678 00:28:13,092 --> 00:28:14,693 - ( Ringing ) - hello. 679 00:28:14,794 --> 00:28:16,595 Hey, Richie boy! 680 00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:18,931 How's it going? Having fun? 681 00:28:19,031 --> 00:28:23,035 ( Theme music playing )