1
00:00:10,147 --> 00:00:13,355
And you feel a string
pulling you up top,
2
00:00:13,356 --> 00:00:16,271
and your feet planting
you on the earth.
3
00:00:16,272 --> 00:00:18,605
And raise your arms up.
4
00:00:18,606 --> 00:00:21,230
If you can, look up.
5
00:00:21,231 --> 00:00:24,355
Absorbing the
energy of the room.
6
00:00:24,356 --> 00:00:25,814
And come out of it.
7
00:00:25,815 --> 00:00:27,730
Fantastic, yogis.
8
00:00:27,731 --> 00:00:29,772
Now let's get down
to the floor.
9
00:00:29,773 --> 00:00:32,647
First, we'll start
on our shoulders
10
00:00:32,648 --> 00:00:34,522
and a little shoulder stand.
11
00:00:34,523 --> 00:00:37,772
- Toes up to the sky...
- I would fuck her. Damn!
12
00:00:37,773 --> 00:00:39,730
- You like that?
- Fucking love that shit.
13
00:00:39,731 --> 00:00:41,647
Yeah.
14
00:00:41,648 --> 00:00:44,939
And fold our legs
over into plow.
15
00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:47,522
And let's take one more
breath together as a group.
16
00:00:47,523 --> 00:00:49,188
Inhale.
17
00:00:49,189 --> 00:00:51,772
Take one more sip of air,
18
00:00:51,773 --> 00:00:54,522
and down to heart's center,
19
00:00:54,523 --> 00:00:56,313
and namaste.
20
00:00:56,314 --> 00:00:58,480
Namaste.
21
00:00:58,481 --> 00:01:00,647
Thank you, yogis.
See you tomorrow.
22
00:01:00,648 --> 00:01:02,940
Thank you, yogi.
23
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,814
I wanted to do
the downward dog.
24
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:07,522
That's my favorite one.
25
00:01:07,523 --> 00:01:11,146
- You love that downward dog.
- I'm a big dog.
26
00:01:11,147 --> 00:01:13,355
- Excuse me. Larry, was it?
- Yes.
27
00:01:13,356 --> 00:01:15,980
Um, I just noticed
that you didn't, uh,
28
00:01:15,981 --> 00:01:17,855
namaste with the other yogis.
29
00:01:17,856 --> 00:01:20,522
Yeah, not a namaste guy.
30
00:01:20,523 --> 00:01:22,647
I don't participate
in group activities.
31
00:01:22,648 --> 00:01:24,438
You know, I don't sing
the birthday song.
32
00:01:24,439 --> 00:01:26,855
"Happy birthday to you",
you know, so, you know.
33
00:01:26,856 --> 00:01:28,689
Namaste means
"the light within me
34
00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:30,438
greets the light within you."
35
00:01:30,439 --> 00:01:33,230
There is no light within me,
that's the only problem there.
36
00:01:33,231 --> 00:01:34,897
Well, why don't you try it?
Why don't you just
37
00:01:34,898 --> 00:01:37,480
try a little namaste
and see how it feels?
38
00:01:37,481 --> 00:01:38,730
I know how it's gonna feel.
39
00:01:38,731 --> 00:01:39,939
I'm gonna feel like an idiot.
40
00:01:39,940 --> 00:01:41,188
Well, no one's here now.
41
00:01:41,189 --> 00:01:42,605
Why don't you just try it?
42
00:01:42,606 --> 00:01:44,188
My third eye is watching.
43
00:01:44,189 --> 00:01:45,772
That's not how the
third eye works.
44
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,730
You know how the
third eye works, huh?
45
00:01:47,731 --> 00:01:49,480
- I've studied it for many years, yes.
- Is that so?
46
00:01:49,481 --> 00:01:51,271
Here, watch, here's what I
think about the third eye.
47
00:01:51,272 --> 00:01:53,146
- See? Look, I'm poking it.
- That's disrespectful.
48
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:54,980
- Doesn't hurt at all.
- It's... it's disrespectful.
49
00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:56,188
- Look. Yeah, yeah.
- It's disrespectful.
50
00:01:56,189 --> 00:01:57,897
Just don't do that
to your third eye.
51
00:01:57,898 --> 00:01:59,397
I wouldn't do it to my two eyes,
the real eyes.
52
00:01:59,398 --> 00:02:00,897
Right, right.
The third eye's real.
53
00:02:00,898 --> 00:02:02,772
There's no... there's no
imaginary eye there.
54
00:02:02,773 --> 00:02:04,522
- Are you familiar with etiquette?
- By the way,
55
00:02:04,523 --> 00:02:06,188
- can I say something?
- Mm-hmm.
56
00:02:06,189 --> 00:02:07,563
It's really hot in here.
57
00:02:07,564 --> 00:02:08,939
Well, it's hot yoga.
58
00:02:08,940 --> 00:02:10,105
Does it have to be this hot?
59
00:02:10,106 --> 00:02:11,271
I mean, it's, you know...
60
00:02:11,272 --> 00:02:12,397
Larry, you're here to be
61
00:02:12,398 --> 00:02:13,939
a part of our
spiritual community.
62
00:02:13,940 --> 00:02:16,605
No, I'm here because
I have a bad hamstring.
63
00:02:16,606 --> 00:02:20,355
If you're not gonna acknowledge
the light within yourself,
64
00:02:20,356 --> 00:02:23,271
then you can leave.
65
00:02:23,272 --> 00:02:25,063
You can leave
and you cannot come back.
66
00:02:25,064 --> 00:02:26,105
Wow.
67
00:02:26,106 --> 00:02:27,814
That's very
"unyogi-ish" of you.
68
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,939
- Get the fuck out.
- You just made my day.
69
00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:32,146
Okay.
70
00:02:32,147 --> 00:02:34,481
Namaste!
71
00:02:40,064 --> 00:02:41,898
Guess whose number I got.
72
00:02:42,940 --> 00:02:44,230
- Yogi Tina?
- Yeah.
73
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:46,063
Nice!
74
00:02:46,064 --> 00:02:47,772
Guess who just
threw me out of class
75
00:02:47,773 --> 00:02:49,689
and told me never to come back.
76
00:02:49,690 --> 00:02:53,063
- Yogi Tina?
- Yeah, Yogi Tina.
77
00:02:53,064 --> 00:02:55,313
- Oh, what?
- Yeah, kicked me out!
78
00:02:55,314 --> 00:02:58,438
- The fuck did you do?
- I wouldn't say namaste.
79
00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,271
Man, you gotta say
namaste, man.
80
00:03:00,272 --> 00:03:02,188
Oh, get the fuck out of here.
That's so stupid.
81
00:03:02,189 --> 00:03:04,355
You know what, it's so goddamn
hot in there, I don't care.
82
00:03:04,356 --> 00:03:06,522
- That's what hot...
- Man, what are you doing? I gotta back up.
83
00:03:06,523 --> 00:03:08,021
Back the fuck up. You good!
84
00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:10,146
- I can't see shit!
- Leon: Fuckin... whoa!
85
00:03:10,147 --> 00:03:11,855
What the... oh, shit!
86
00:03:11,856 --> 00:03:14,480
Oh, fuck!
87
00:03:14,481 --> 00:03:17,522
God damn it!
88
00:03:17,523 --> 00:03:19,647
You see? You know what?
This is all your fault!
89
00:03:19,648 --> 00:03:21,814
You fiddled with the radio and
the backup camera didn't work.
90
00:03:21,815 --> 00:03:23,063
- You fucked up!
- No, you fucked up!
91
00:03:23,064 --> 00:03:24,146
No, no, no!
You fucked up!
92
00:03:24,147 --> 00:03:25,147
Don't blame me for that shit!
93
00:03:27,815 --> 00:03:29,480
- Wow.
- Oh, geez.
94
00:03:29,481 --> 00:03:31,605
- You fucked this car up good.
- Damn it.
95
00:03:31,606 --> 00:03:32,647
Look at that.
96
00:03:32,648 --> 00:03:34,814
That's bad.
97
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,647
What you gonna write?
98
00:03:36,648 --> 00:03:38,021
I'm gonna tell them I'm sorry
99
00:03:38,022 --> 00:03:39,313
and leave my name
and, uh, number.
100
00:03:39,314 --> 00:03:41,480
- What else can I do?
- I wouldn't write shit!
101
00:03:41,481 --> 00:03:42,563
Just drive the fuck off!
102
00:03:42,564 --> 00:03:43,772
I'm not gonna do that!
103
00:03:43,773 --> 00:03:45,689
I follow the golden rule, okay?
104
00:03:45,690 --> 00:03:47,647
"Do unto others as you'd
have others do unto you."
105
00:03:47,648 --> 00:03:50,146
- The golden rule.
- I follow the golden rule, too.
106
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:51,772
My friend Jasper's golden.
107
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,438
"Fuck them
or they'll fuck you."
108
00:03:53,439 --> 00:03:55,021
- Mm-hmm.
- Interesting rule.
109
00:03:55,022 --> 00:03:55,856
Yeah.
110
00:04:01,189 --> 00:04:04,021
Thankfully, Victor's doing better,
so the wedding's on.
111
00:04:04,022 --> 00:04:06,897
- The wedding is happening.
- Wow. Oh, boy.
112
00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:10,522
- What?
- I would be a little concerned
113
00:04:10,523 --> 00:04:12,188
- if it was my daughter.
- Well, you know,
114
00:04:12,189 --> 00:04:14,063
there's no accounting
for who's attracted to...
115
00:04:14,064 --> 00:04:15,355
look, I'm attracted to Jeff.
116
00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:17,021
Go figure that one.
117
00:04:17,022 --> 00:04:18,438
Or, oh,
118
00:04:18,439 --> 00:04:19,438
listen to this...
119
00:04:19,439 --> 00:04:20,897
speaking of taste.
120
00:04:20,898 --> 00:04:22,814
I have a friend
who asked us a favor
121
00:04:22,815 --> 00:04:24,022
if I could set her up with you.
122
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:26,605
What? What's this?
123
00:04:26,606 --> 00:04:28,772
- Yes. Yes.
- Really?
124
00:04:28,773 --> 00:04:30,855
Now I told her...
I read her chapter on verse
125
00:04:30,856 --> 00:04:32,438
on what an asshole you are,
126
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,647
and what a horrible idea,
127
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,522
but she would hear none of it.
128
00:04:35,523 --> 00:04:36,980
She wants to go out with you.
129
00:04:36,981 --> 00:04:38,605
Do-does she know
about the fatwa?
130
00:04:38,606 --> 00:04:40,271
Yeah, and guess what?
131
00:04:40,272 --> 00:04:42,355
That turned her on!
132
00:04:42,356 --> 00:04:44,146
Hmm. Is she good-looking?
133
00:04:44,147 --> 00:04:45,605
Yeah, very pretty.
134
00:04:45,606 --> 00:04:47,063
Like to see a picture.
135
00:04:48,564 --> 00:04:50,313
You want to see a picture?
136
00:04:50,314 --> 00:04:53,021
Who the fuck are you to ask
for a picture of anybody?
137
00:04:53,022 --> 00:04:55,397
Y-you are on an Uber rating,
138
00:04:55,398 --> 00:04:56,855
you're like a... a two.
139
00:04:56,856 --> 00:04:58,605
- A two?
- On a good day. On a good day!
140
00:04:58,606 --> 00:05:00,897
- Fuck you! A two, okay?
- Yeah.
141
00:05:00,898 --> 00:05:02,063
Yeah.
142
00:05:02,064 --> 00:05:03,605
I'm a four, baby!
143
00:05:03,606 --> 00:05:06,146
- I'm an Uber four.
- You are so delusional.
144
00:05:06,147 --> 00:05:07,647
- I'm delusional?
- Yes!
145
00:05:07,648 --> 00:05:09,397
Let me tell you something,
if I was a two,
146
00:05:09,398 --> 00:05:10,605
I would kill myself.
147
00:05:10,606 --> 00:05:13,105
I... I could not live
on this planet as a two.
148
00:05:13,106 --> 00:05:14,647
Hi, Jeffy.
149
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,730
- Hey.
- Hey.
150
00:05:17,731 --> 00:05:21,271
Did you call your friend
about the... about the car?
151
00:05:21,272 --> 00:05:23,689
- It's good to have a mechanic as a friend.
- Sorry about that.
152
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:26,105
You know this Bridget
friend of hers?
153
00:05:26,106 --> 00:05:27,563
Yeah.
154
00:05:27,564 --> 00:05:29,522
- She good looking?
- Bridget? Beautiful.
155
00:05:29,523 --> 00:05:30,939
- Really?
- Beautiful.
156
00:05:30,940 --> 00:05:31,897
Great girl.
157
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,438
Great sense of humor.
158
00:05:33,439 --> 00:05:35,939
He would be lucky to have her,
I'll tell you that much.
159
00:05:35,940 --> 00:05:37,480
And she lucky to have him.
160
00:05:37,481 --> 00:05:38,980
That's... that's the pal!
161
00:05:38,981 --> 00:05:40,355
What's wrong with you?
162
00:05:40,356 --> 00:05:41,939
I... I tried to
talk her out of it.
163
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:43,939
I got, uh, my friend Larry.
164
00:05:43,940 --> 00:05:46,313
All right, I'm gonna put you
on speakerphone. All right.
165
00:05:46,314 --> 00:05:49,313
- Hey, Greg.
- Hey, what's going on?
166
00:05:49,314 --> 00:05:50,980
Oh, not much.
167
00:05:50,981 --> 00:05:52,689
How is it, uh,
we've never met?
168
00:05:52,690 --> 00:05:54,271
Why is Jeff keeping us apart?
169
00:05:54,272 --> 00:05:55,689
I have no clue.
170
00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:57,522
He said nothing but wonderful
things about you.
171
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:58,814
I feel like I know you already.
172
00:05:58,815 --> 00:06:00,730
Yeah, he's told me
a lot about you, too.
173
00:06:00,731 --> 00:06:02,105
Yeah, how's it going?
174
00:06:02,106 --> 00:06:03,814
Anyway, this car, I...
175
00:06:03,815 --> 00:06:06,355
something happened to my
fender or bumper or whatever.
176
00:06:06,356 --> 00:06:07,855
I banged into someone, and, uh,
177
00:06:07,856 --> 00:06:10,271
- can I bring it over?
- Absolutely.
178
00:06:10,272 --> 00:06:11,855
Bring it by now,
as a matter of fact,
179
00:06:11,856 --> 00:06:13,230
and we can have it
hammered out maybe
180
00:06:13,231 --> 00:06:14,271
in the next couple days.
181
00:06:14,272 --> 00:06:16,313
Wow, okay. Great.
182
00:06:16,314 --> 00:06:18,480
- Doesn't even do that for me.
- Huh.
183
00:06:18,481 --> 00:06:20,146
All right, I'll see you soon.
Thank you.
184
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:22,647
- No problem.
- The... the picture.
185
00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:25,105
- Can we get the picture going?
- What picture?
186
00:06:25,106 --> 00:06:27,105
What, of Bridget? You're not
getting a fucking picture.
187
00:06:27,106 --> 00:06:29,021
- Trust me.
- You know, can I just say, Larry...
188
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,605
- Trust me.
- ...not only is she a beautiful woman,
189
00:06:31,606 --> 00:06:34,647
but more important, inner beauty.
190
00:06:34,648 --> 00:06:35,980
That I'm not interested in.
191
00:06:35,981 --> 00:06:38,021
- Asshole.
- Yeah.
192
00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:39,480
- All right.
- See you later.
193
00:06:43,606 --> 00:06:44,939
- Oh, hey.
- How you doing?
194
00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:47,063
- I'm looking for Greg.
- Ah, I'm Greg.
195
00:06:47,064 --> 00:06:49,897
- Oh, hey, L-Larry. Jeff's friend.
- Oh!
196
00:06:49,898 --> 00:06:52,689
- We, uh... we talked on the phone.
- On the phone, yeah, yeah.
197
00:06:52,690 --> 00:06:54,855
- How you doing? Nice to meet you.
- Eh, you're black.
198
00:06:54,856 --> 00:06:56,897
- Ye... yes.
- Ah.
199
00:06:56,898 --> 00:06:58,689
Yes, I'm...
is that a problem?
200
00:06:58,690 --> 00:07:01,188
- No, of course not.
- Okay, good.
201
00:07:01,189 --> 00:07:02,480
Just surprised Jeff
didn't mention it.
202
00:07:02,481 --> 00:07:04,146
Why would he have to mention it?
203
00:07:04,147 --> 00:07:05,689
Eh, because most white
people with black friends
204
00:07:05,690 --> 00:07:07,689
like to show off
about it, that's all.
205
00:07:07,690 --> 00:07:09,271
Well, I can see
I've offended you.
206
00:07:09,272 --> 00:07:11,522
That... b-believe me,
that wasn't my intention.
207
00:07:11,523 --> 00:07:13,647
- Ah, well.
- Yeah, I'm not, uh...
208
00:07:13,648 --> 00:07:16,313
I'm not prejudiced
in any way...
209
00:07:16,314 --> 00:07:17,314
I... I get it.
210
00:07:17,315 --> 00:07:18,939
...towards any group,
except my own, of course.
211
00:07:18,940 --> 00:07:22,563
All right, uh, we've gotten off
on the wrong foot, obviously.
212
00:07:22,564 --> 00:07:24,271
Um, let's talk about the car.
213
00:07:24,272 --> 00:07:25,689
- Yes, let's. Okay.
- Okay.
214
00:07:25,690 --> 00:07:27,772
There's a problem with the, uh,
215
00:07:27,773 --> 00:07:29,355
the fender, like I said, yeah.
216
00:07:29,356 --> 00:07:30,855
Ah, well, that's a bumper.
217
00:07:30,856 --> 00:07:33,397
And yes, there's
a problem with it.
218
00:07:33,398 --> 00:07:35,980
All right, so, um,
how long you think it'll take?
219
00:07:35,981 --> 00:07:37,397
You know, we'll call you.
220
00:07:37,398 --> 00:07:39,397
I don't... yeah.
We'll call you.
221
00:07:39,398 --> 00:07:40,939
Any loaners?
222
00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:42,398
Nope.
223
00:07:43,773 --> 00:07:45,230
All right.
224
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:46,106
I'll call an Uber.
225
00:07:48,231 --> 00:07:50,814
Again, sorry if I, uh,
offended you in any way.
226
00:07:50,815 --> 00:07:53,105
You know what...
227
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,898
Okay.
228
00:07:57,606 --> 00:07:59,022
All right. Okay, yeah.
229
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,271
You have, uh, water an
chewing gums, if you like.
230
00:08:04,272 --> 00:08:06,939
Yeah? Well, that's
very nice of you.
231
00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:09,188
- Where you from?
- I am from Romania.
232
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,271
- Romania?
- Yeah.
233
00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:11,480
Ah. Bucharest?
234
00:08:11,481 --> 00:08:12,605
Ah, you know Bucharest?
235
00:08:12,606 --> 00:08:13,980
Yeah, you like that, huh?
236
00:08:13,981 --> 00:08:16,146
- I know my geography.
- Very nice. You do.
237
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,855
Yeah, most people
would say Budapest.
238
00:08:17,856 --> 00:08:19,355
- Yeah.
- So, let me ask you a question.
239
00:08:19,356 --> 00:08:21,522
I was having a little
dispute with my friend,
240
00:08:21,523 --> 00:08:25,939
um, as to what my Uber rating
would be, looks-wise,
241
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,355
from a scale of one to five.
242
00:08:27,356 --> 00:08:28,772
If you were gonna fix me
up with your sister...
243
00:08:28,773 --> 00:08:30,647
- do you have a sister?
- I do.
244
00:08:30,648 --> 00:08:32,355
Okay, so if you were
gonna fix me up with her,
245
00:08:32,356 --> 00:08:34,271
what, uh...
what would you rate me looks-wise?
246
00:08:34,272 --> 00:08:35,939
- Just curious.
- One to five?
247
00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:37,397
Yeah.
248
00:08:37,398 --> 00:08:38,772
Okay, I am very honest.
249
00:08:38,773 --> 00:08:40,522
I am an honest person.
250
00:08:40,523 --> 00:08:41,939
So I will be honest with you.
251
00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:43,563
You are a two.
252
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:45,146
- A two?
- Two.
253
00:08:45,147 --> 00:08:47,397
- You gotta be kidding.
- You are older.
254
00:08:47,398 --> 00:08:49,313
- You have few hairs.
- Two?
255
00:08:49,314 --> 00:08:51,814
- Yes.
- I'm not a two, okay, buddy?
256
00:08:51,815 --> 00:08:53,897
- I'm not a two.
- You live in a fantasy world.
257
00:08:53,898 --> 00:08:55,980
What do you think you are?
What do you think you are?
258
00:08:55,981 --> 00:08:57,897
- Four.
- A four?!
259
00:08:57,898 --> 00:08:59,772
- Yeah, four.
- A four? I am a three.
260
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:01,188
- How can you be a four?
- You're a three?
261
00:09:01,189 --> 00:09:02,980
Of course. I am honest.
262
00:09:02,981 --> 00:09:04,814
I know, my face is average.
263
00:09:04,815 --> 00:09:06,355
I drive Uber. I'm a three.
264
00:09:06,356 --> 00:09:08,271
Well, I completely disagree.
265
00:09:08,272 --> 00:09:09,547
Anyway, you know,
you're from one of the most
266
00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:11,980
unattractive countries,
you know, on the planet.
267
00:09:11,981 --> 00:09:12,546
No, you don't know what..
268
00:09:12,547 --> 00:09:14,146
- ..you're talking about, okay?
- It's all skewed
269
00:09:14,147 --> 00:09:17,063
'cause all you've seen are
unattractive people your entire life.
270
00:09:17,064 --> 00:09:18,647
So I have to take it
with a grain of salt.
271
00:09:18,648 --> 00:09:20,980
Excuse me, have you ever been
to the beaches in Mamaia?
272
00:09:20,981 --> 00:09:23,814
Have you seen the women on the
beaches in... no, you have not.
273
00:09:23,815 --> 00:09:25,312
- Well...
- They're some of the most beautiful..
274
00:09:25,313 --> 00:09:26,313
...in all of Europe.
275
00:09:26,314 --> 00:09:27,939
Oh, don't... please,
don't make me laugh.
276
00:09:27,940 --> 00:09:29,855
You're thinking, maybe,
of mountain women.
277
00:09:29,856 --> 00:09:31,355
Okay?
I am not talking about mou...
278
00:09:31,356 --> 00:09:33,146
I'm talking about lowland women.
279
00:09:33,147 --> 00:09:36,188
Women of the plains. The most
beautiful in all of Europe.
280
00:09:36,189 --> 00:09:37,730
- In Romania.
- Okay.
281
00:09:37,731 --> 00:09:39,063
- Okay.
- Yeah.
282
00:09:42,189 --> 00:09:43,772
- Hello?
- Larry?
283
00:09:43,773 --> 00:09:45,397
- Yeah?
- This is Justin Brown.
284
00:09:45,398 --> 00:09:48,271
- You, uh... you hit my car.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
285
00:09:48,272 --> 00:09:50,814
I'm, uh... I'm awfully sorry.
286
00:09:50,815 --> 00:09:52,355
Uh, obviously you got my note.
287
00:09:52,356 --> 00:09:54,689
No, I guessed your number.
Yeah, I got your note.
288
00:09:54,690 --> 00:09:56,814
Look, I really wish you had
hung around and stayed.
289
00:09:56,815 --> 00:09:58,188
This is, uh...
this is something
290
00:09:58,189 --> 00:09:59,563
that could've been resolved
far earlier.
291
00:09:59,564 --> 00:10:02,021
Well, uh, again, I apologize.
292
00:10:02,022 --> 00:10:03,397
It was an accident.
293
00:10:03,398 --> 00:10:05,313
Uh, don't I get any credit
for the note?
294
00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:06,814
No, you get zero credit
for leaving a note.
295
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:08,188
Anyone knows to leave a note.
296
00:10:08,189 --> 00:10:09,397
A real person
would've hung around
297
00:10:09,398 --> 00:10:10,522
and dealt with this in person.
298
00:10:10,523 --> 00:10:11,730
It was an accident.
299
00:10:11,731 --> 00:10:13,063
Next time, I won't leave a note.
300
00:10:13,064 --> 00:10:14,605
- How 'bout that?
- Look, Larry,
301
00:10:14,606 --> 00:10:16,021
you seem like a complete
garbage person.
302
00:10:16,022 --> 00:10:17,438
How are you gonna
pay for this, asshole?
303
00:10:17,439 --> 00:10:19,063
Okay, fuckface,
I'll tell you what.
304
00:10:19,064 --> 00:10:21,021
I will text you my address.
305
00:10:21,022 --> 00:10:22,563
We don't need to go
through insurance.
306
00:10:22,564 --> 00:10:24,146
And, uh,
we'll set up a time.
307
00:10:24,147 --> 00:10:25,438
You'll come over
and I'll give you a check.
308
00:10:25,439 --> 00:10:26,563
- How's that?
- Fine, but I'm getting
309
00:10:26,564 --> 00:10:28,021
an estimate from the dealer.
310
00:10:28,022 --> 00:10:29,355
All right,
I-I've had enough of you.
311
00:10:29,356 --> 00:10:30,898
Goodbye.
312
00:10:32,564 --> 00:10:33,730
Fucking asshole.
313
00:10:33,731 --> 00:10:35,355
Hey, could you do me a favor?
314
00:10:35,356 --> 00:10:36,939
It's about 900 degrees in here.
315
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,438
Could... could you turn the
heat down a little bit?
316
00:10:38,439 --> 00:10:40,523
- I'm starting to sweat.
- No.
317
00:10:41,898 --> 00:10:43,271
So, I play with Jeff
318
00:10:43,272 --> 00:10:45,230
and a few other guys
most weekends.
319
00:10:45,231 --> 00:10:46,438
At the...
at the country club?
320
00:10:46,439 --> 00:10:48,063
- That's so cute.
- Yeah.
321
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,105
Country club.
That's an odd-sounding word.
322
00:10:50,106 --> 00:10:52,230
Isn't that what it is, though?
To be honest.
323
00:10:52,231 --> 00:10:53,721
What do you call it?
You try to, like,
324
00:10:53,722 --> 00:10:55,271
make it seem less fancy.
325
00:10:55,272 --> 00:10:56,471
- At the, uh...
- Uh, golf place.
326
00:10:56,472 --> 00:10:59,564
Yeah, yeah at the playground.
I meet some of my friends.
327
00:10:59,565 --> 00:11:01,364
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
328
00:11:02,940 --> 00:11:04,480
That's very funny.
329
00:11:04,481 --> 00:11:06,480
- You're kind of funny.
- Oh, wow.
330
00:11:06,481 --> 00:11:09,271
Yeah, I think we're having kind of
a good date here, don't you think?
331
00:11:09,272 --> 00:11:10,814
- I told Susie...
- Yeah.
332
00:11:10,815 --> 00:11:12,188
...and, boy, did she try
to talk me out of it, but...
333
00:11:12,189 --> 00:11:13,897
She's not a...
not a big fan of mine.
334
00:11:13,898 --> 00:11:16,271
I think the nicest thing
she called you was quirky.
335
00:11:16,272 --> 00:11:19,047
All she told me about you
was you're an NBC censor.
336
00:11:19,048 --> 00:11:19,647
Yes.
337
00:11:19,648 --> 00:11:22,480
I see a lot of dirty words.
338
00:11:22,481 --> 00:11:24,814
- I'll bet.
- It's amazing what, you know...
339
00:11:24,815 --> 00:11:25,980
what they try to get away with.
340
00:11:25,981 --> 00:11:27,522
Yeah? Like what?
341
00:11:27,523 --> 00:11:29,980
They try to get the penises in,
342
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,897
and the pussy.
343
00:11:31,898 --> 00:11:34,397
Wet pussy, tight pussy,
hot pussy.
344
00:11:34,398 --> 00:11:36,730
You know, cock, balls, tits.
345
00:11:36,731 --> 00:11:38,855
You know, and after a while,
346
00:11:38,856 --> 00:11:40,522
at the end of the day,
I just...
347
00:11:40,523 --> 00:11:42,021
I just give it to them.
348
00:11:42,022 --> 00:11:43,355
- Yeah.
- You know?
349
00:11:43,356 --> 00:11:45,271
I can't fight off
the penis forever.
350
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,146
- Just let it in.
- Yeah.
351
00:11:47,147 --> 00:11:49,522
Let it just slip right in.
352
00:11:49,523 --> 00:11:51,146
Okay.
353
00:11:51,147 --> 00:11:53,438
What a fantastic date.
354
00:11:53,439 --> 00:11:55,855
- Not one pause, not one low.
- No.
355
00:11:55,856 --> 00:11:57,689
The conversations
just move and move.
356
00:11:57,690 --> 00:11:58,772
Great.
357
00:11:58,773 --> 00:12:01,355
In fact, if I were to go home
358
00:12:01,356 --> 00:12:03,855
and get a phone call
from a friend, okay?
359
00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:05,438
- You... you be my friend. Go ahead.
- Okay.
360
00:12:05,439 --> 00:12:07,480
Larry, hey, I heard you
went out on a date.
361
00:12:07,481 --> 00:12:09,772
- How was it?
- Oh, fantastic.
362
00:12:09,773 --> 00:12:10,939
Really? Fantastic?
363
00:12:10,940 --> 00:12:12,855
- Really fantastic.
- Wow.
364
00:12:12,856 --> 00:12:15,438
- Really like her a lot.
- Oh!
365
00:12:15,439 --> 00:12:17,105
Not kidding.
And you know what?
366
00:12:17,106 --> 00:12:18,480
She wears glasses.
367
00:12:18,481 --> 00:12:21,313
I love glasses on a woman.
368
00:12:21,314 --> 00:12:24,271
Oh, she's...
she's pretty and smart, sexy.
369
00:12:24,272 --> 00:12:26,563
Oh, I'm really a little...
I'm quite...
370
00:12:26,564 --> 00:12:28,146
I'm a little smitten.
I'm a little smitten.
371
00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:29,772
Larry, I haven't
heard you s...
372
00:12:29,773 --> 00:12:32,063
- talk this way in a long time.
- Yes. I know, I know.
373
00:12:32,064 --> 00:12:33,939
- I really like this woman.
- I'm happy for you.
374
00:12:33,940 --> 00:12:35,355
You know, a couple of things.
375
00:12:35,356 --> 00:12:36,689
Of course, nobody's perfect.
376
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,689
She... she has a strange way
377
00:12:38,690 --> 00:12:40,188
of holding silverware
like a pencil.
378
00:12:40,189 --> 00:12:42,397
She holds it like a pencil.
That I've never seen before.
379
00:12:42,398 --> 00:12:43,198
That's annoying.
380
00:12:43,199 --> 00:12:44,814
Yeah, and she keeps the
window open in the car.
381
00:12:44,815 --> 00:12:45,615
Ugh, air.
382
00:12:45,616 --> 00:12:48,146
You know, my...
the big question tonight was,
383
00:12:48,147 --> 00:12:50,163
"Well, how am I gonna end it?
How am I gonna..."
384
00:12:50,164 --> 00:12:50,563
Mm-hmm.
385
00:12:50,564 --> 00:12:52,063
- "...am I gonna make a move?"
- Mmm.
386
00:12:52,064 --> 00:12:53,730
Moves, they're tough.
How do you do it?
387
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:54,897
It's a very difficult thing.
388
00:12:54,898 --> 00:12:57,021
Wow. So, uh, what happened?
389
00:12:57,022 --> 00:13:00,271
- Well, I went in for a... a kiss.
- Yeah.
390
00:13:00,272 --> 00:13:01,730
You know, and...
391
00:13:01,731 --> 00:13:03,021
Who are you?
392
00:13:03,022 --> 00:13:04,522
Oh!
393
00:13:04,523 --> 00:13:06,230
Ah. Hi.
394
00:13:06,231 --> 00:13:08,772
Larry, this is my son Eddie,
that I was telling you about.
395
00:13:08,773 --> 00:13:10,480
- Yeah.
- I didn't think you were up.
396
00:13:10,481 --> 00:13:12,105
Eddie, this is our friend Larry.
397
00:13:12,106 --> 00:13:14,230
- Hey.
- Why is Mom going out with you?
398
00:13:14,231 --> 00:13:15,031
Oh...
399
00:13:15,032 --> 00:13:16,772
Yeah, no, that's a very
good question, Eddie.
400
00:13:16,773 --> 00:13:19,021
Very good question.
I don't know.
401
00:13:19,022 --> 00:13:20,355
Your head is so shiny.
402
00:13:20,356 --> 00:13:22,980
Okay, honey. Now, come on.
403
00:13:22,981 --> 00:13:24,647
How 'bout a...
go grab a snack.
404
00:13:24,648 --> 00:13:27,772
- I'm getting a donut.
- No, get something healthy.
405
00:13:29,481 --> 00:13:31,063
And then her son came down...
406
00:13:31,064 --> 00:13:33,814
- So...
- ...and he insulted me.
407
00:13:33,815 --> 00:13:36,438
You know, and that was the
end of the night, pretty much.
408
00:13:36,439 --> 00:13:38,939
- I'm sorry.
- Ah, no sweat.
409
00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:40,188
He, um...
410
00:13:40,189 --> 00:13:41,397
he has Asperger's.
411
00:13:41,398 --> 00:13:43,146
Ah, Asperger.
412
00:13:43,147 --> 00:13:45,772
- Yeah, he's on the spectrum.
- Wow. Spectrum?
413
00:13:45,773 --> 00:13:47,405
- Mm-hmm.
- Why are these chocolate sprinkles?
414
00:13:47,406 --> 00:13:48,297
On the spectrum?
415
00:13:48,298 --> 00:13:50,230
- Mm-hmm.
- I only eat rainbow sprinkles!
416
00:13:50,231 --> 00:13:52,021
I'm so sorry, but I gotta...
417
00:13:52,022 --> 00:13:53,772
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Ca-call me.
418
00:13:53,773 --> 00:13:55,522
- Okay? M'kay.
- Oh, sure, yeah.
419
00:13:55,523 --> 00:13:57,355
Hey, it was really fun.
420
00:13:57,356 --> 00:13:58,855
Yeah. Nice. Okay.
421
00:13:58,856 --> 00:14:00,605
You'll... you'll find the door.
422
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:01,648
I'm coming, honey.
423
00:14:04,815 --> 00:14:06,188
Why didn't you tell me
he was black?
424
00:14:06,189 --> 00:14:07,605
What does it matter?
425
00:14:07,606 --> 00:14:08,772
No, it doesn't matter at all.
426
00:14:08,773 --> 00:14:10,063
You know,
'cause when I got there,
427
00:14:10,064 --> 00:14:11,397
I was surprised and I
blurted something out
428
00:14:11,398 --> 00:14:13,438
and the whole thing
was a disaster.
429
00:14:13,439 --> 00:14:15,188
- What did you blurt out?
- I said I didn't know you were black.
430
00:14:15,189 --> 00:14:17,480
- Why'd you do that?!
- Because I was surprised.
431
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,980
What were you surprised about?
432
00:14:19,981 --> 00:14:23,147
Because he didn't sound
black on the phone, okay?!
433
00:14:24,189 --> 00:14:26,313
- Where's Susie?
- Upstairs.
434
00:14:26,314 --> 00:14:28,188
I do know what
he's talking about.
435
00:14:28,189 --> 00:14:31,856
So stupid.
436
00:14:38,064 --> 00:14:40,438
Oh, Jesus Christ!
What are you doing up here?
437
00:14:40,439 --> 00:14:43,313
This is upstairs. You don't come
upstairs in somebody's house.
438
00:14:43,314 --> 00:14:45,605
- W-why? What's so special about...
- This is my boudoir!
439
00:14:45,606 --> 00:14:47,480
It's off-limits!
440
00:14:47,481 --> 00:14:48,814
Off-limits!
441
00:14:48,815 --> 00:14:50,939
Would Mrs. Cleaver
442
00:14:50,940 --> 00:14:52,605
talk that way to Eddie Haskell
443
00:14:52,606 --> 00:14:54,563
if he came upstairs
to her... to her bedroom?
444
00:14:54,564 --> 00:14:55,772
Oh, I think so.
445
00:14:55,773 --> 00:14:57,980
Mrs. Cleaver hated Eddie Haskell
446
00:14:57,981 --> 00:15:00,188
'cause Eddie Haskell
was a kiss-ass,
447
00:15:00,189 --> 00:15:01,897
obsequious, little shit.
448
00:15:01,898 --> 00:15:03,397
I think he had access
to the house.
449
00:15:03,398 --> 00:15:05,271
But that's because
the boys were upstairs.
450
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:08,063
Okay, so all I'm asking
for is Haskell-access.
451
00:15:08,064 --> 00:15:11,271
I want the same... I want the
same privileges as Eddie Haskell!
452
00:15:11,272 --> 00:15:12,897
- Okay, number one...
- Is that asking too much?!
453
00:15:12,898 --> 00:15:14,230
What are you doing here anyway?
454
00:15:14,231 --> 00:15:15,397
Why didn't you tell me
455
00:15:15,398 --> 00:15:18,147
that her kid had...
456
00:15:19,856 --> 00:15:21,855
- you know.
- What?
457
00:15:21,856 --> 00:15:25,522
Ass... Ass...
458
00:15:25,523 --> 00:15:27,438
- What?
- Asper...
459
00:15:27,439 --> 00:15:29,730
- Asperger's. Yeah, what about it?
- Asperger's.
460
00:15:29,731 --> 00:15:31,647
- Why didn't I tell you?
- Yeah, why didn't you tell me?
461
00:15:31,648 --> 00:15:33,522
Wha... why should
I have told you?
462
00:15:33,523 --> 00:15:35,563
- You could've mentioned it.
- I set you up on a date.
463
00:15:35,564 --> 00:15:38,313
You should be lucky
that I even did that for you.
464
00:15:38,314 --> 00:15:40,438
- So, how did it go?
- Pretty damn good.
465
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,480
Really like her.
466
00:15:41,481 --> 00:15:42,772
- Good.
- What she say about me?
467
00:15:42,773 --> 00:15:45,022
She had a good time.
468
00:15:46,898 --> 00:15:49,271
- That's it?
- Mm, she li... yeah.
469
00:15:49,272 --> 00:15:51,689
- What?
- She... she's had a good time.
470
00:15:51,690 --> 00:15:53,647
- That's all she said?
- That's all she said.
471
00:15:53,648 --> 00:15:55,080
I'll tell you what.
472
00:15:55,081 --> 00:15:56,530
I was about to make a
move on the couch...
473
00:15:56,531 --> 00:15:57,230
Yeah?
473
00:15:57,231 --> 00:15:59,313
...and that little prick
son ruined it for me.
474
00:15:59,314 --> 00:16:01,772
Aw. My heart is breaking.
475
00:16:01,773 --> 00:16:03,438
All right, go! Just leave.
476
00:16:03,439 --> 00:16:04,772
Okay, but I can't get home.
477
00:16:04,773 --> 00:16:06,438
The Uber's not picking me up,
for some reason.
478
00:16:06,439 --> 00:16:08,980
Yeah, well, walk.
Get the fuck out! Go now!
479
00:16:08,981 --> 00:16:12,522
Has Jeff seen you
in those curlers of late?
480
00:16:12,523 --> 00:16:14,146
Get! Out! Out! Out!
481
00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:16,690
Oh, what a fucking asshole.
482
00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:22,939
Oh, finally.
483
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:23,815
The hell is this?
484
00:16:26,856 --> 00:16:29,272
- This an Uber?
- UberX.
485
00:16:35,523 --> 00:16:36,939
Took quite a while.
486
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:39,772
Okay.
487
00:16:39,773 --> 00:16:42,605
- Am I wrong?
- Kind of took a gamble picking you up
488
00:16:42,606 --> 00:16:44,772
- with that one-star rating.
- What?
489
00:16:44,773 --> 00:16:46,230
Yeah.
490
00:16:46,231 --> 00:16:47,438
You know, usually I, uh...
491
00:16:47,439 --> 00:16:49,313
I pick up four, five stars.
492
00:16:49,314 --> 00:16:50,814
I know they're
gonna be responsible,
493
00:16:50,815 --> 00:16:52,105
respectful of the car,
494
00:16:52,106 --> 00:16:53,271
not be a problem.
495
00:16:53,272 --> 00:16:54,772
- But...
- One star?
496
00:16:54,773 --> 00:16:57,313
I'm not one star.
497
00:16:57,314 --> 00:16:59,397
- I'm a five.
- You might feel like a five,
498
00:16:59,398 --> 00:17:01,398
but Uber says you're
a one, buddy.
499
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,106
Holy shit.
500
00:17:06,231 --> 00:17:07,480
Four other stars next to it,
501
00:17:07,481 --> 00:17:08,480
not filled in.
502
00:17:08,481 --> 00:17:09,730
The Romanian!
503
00:17:09,731 --> 00:17:11,647
- The Romanian?
- The Romanian.
504
00:17:11,648 --> 00:17:14,230
Gave me... he gave me a one and
took me down from a five to a one.
505
00:17:14,231 --> 00:17:15,681
One-Star Larry is really,
506
00:17:15,682 --> 00:17:17,981
- uh... really not a popular guy.
- All right. Okay.
507
00:17:32,314 --> 00:17:35,188
Man.
508
00:17:35,189 --> 00:17:37,230
What the hell is
going on in here?
509
00:17:37,231 --> 00:17:40,230
- Phew.
- Huh? It's 92 degrees.
510
00:17:40,231 --> 00:17:41,647
You're damn right
it's 92 degrees.
511
00:17:41,648 --> 00:17:42,647
Tina came over.
512
00:17:42,648 --> 00:17:44,146
- Who?
- Yogi Tina.
513
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,480
Like that shit hot.
514
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,271
- Where is she?
- Fuck you think she's at?
515
00:17:47,272 --> 00:17:48,647
She's up there
fuckin' recuperating.
516
00:17:48,648 --> 00:17:49,897
What are you doing in my house?
517
00:17:49,898 --> 00:17:52,480
I'm in here fuckin'
at 92 degrees.
518
00:17:52,481 --> 00:17:54,105
- What? You're what?
- That's what the fuck's going on.
519
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:56,146
Why are you having
sex in my house?
520
00:17:56,147 --> 00:17:58,397
- Because...
- You got a guest house back there.
521
00:17:58,398 --> 00:18:00,230
- I can't fuck...
- Huh?
522
00:18:00,231 --> 00:18:01,939
...at 92 degrees in my room
523
00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:03,355
'cause my room
won't get hot enough.
524
00:18:03,356 --> 00:18:04,522
- Okay, well you...
- It gets hot in here.
525
00:18:04,523 --> 00:18:05,814
Well, you already
did it, right?
526
00:18:05,815 --> 00:18:07,605
- Now get out.
- No, I did part one.
527
00:18:07,606 --> 00:18:09,021
I didn't do part
two or three yet.
528
00:18:09,022 --> 00:18:11,480
Okay, there's not gonna be
a part two or three, okay?
529
00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:13,438
- There's always a part two and three.
- No, no, no. No!
530
00:18:13,439 --> 00:18:15,689
I'm not gonna sit here and
leave her at fuckin' part one.
531
00:18:15,690 --> 00:18:17,063
Well, why is it 92 degrees?
532
00:18:17,064 --> 00:18:18,689
She's a yoga instructor.
She likes hot yoga.
533
00:18:18,690 --> 00:18:21,021
Oh, so she likes hot sex
and hot yoga, is that it?
534
00:18:21,022 --> 00:18:22,397
That's fuckin' right.
That's what the fuck she does.
535
00:18:22,398 --> 00:18:24,146
I want you out of the house.
536
00:18:24,147 --> 00:18:27,897
I don't want some post-sex guy
walking around my house, okay?
537
00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:29,980
- Now get out.
- First of all,
538
00:18:29,981 --> 00:18:31,730
there's nothing wrong
with people having
539
00:18:31,731 --> 00:18:33,855
the scent of...
of fuck on their body.
540
00:18:33,856 --> 00:18:36,939
I don't like the
scent of fuck, okay?
541
00:18:36,940 --> 00:18:39,397
Sue me. I don't like fuck scent.
542
00:18:39,398 --> 00:18:42,063
All right, look, uh, some guy
named Greg called for you.
543
00:18:42,064 --> 00:18:44,188
He said your car's gonna
be ready in three weeks.
544
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:47,355
Three weeks? On the phone,
he said a couple of days.
545
00:18:47,356 --> 00:18:48,056
Oh, wow.
546
00:18:48,057 --> 00:18:50,105
Well, di-did he sound like
he was ticked off?
547
00:18:50,106 --> 00:18:52,939
No, he just sounded like
some random black dude
548
00:18:52,940 --> 00:18:54,231
who's calling about your car.
549
00:18:55,815 --> 00:18:58,313
- How do you know he's black?
- I know how black people sound.
550
00:18:58,314 --> 00:19:01,772
- You could tell that guy was black?
- Fuck, yeah, instantly.
551
00:19:01,773 --> 00:19:03,480
- Wow.
- Three words. Bam.
552
00:19:03,481 --> 00:19:05,355
Jews, I could tell
within, like, a minute.
553
00:19:05,356 --> 00:19:07,021
- Man or woman.
- Of course, 'cause you're Jewish.
554
00:19:07,022 --> 00:19:08,689
You... you give me two minutes,
and I could tell you
555
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:10,105
if they're reform
or conservative.
556
00:19:10,106 --> 00:19:12,188
Hmm... Uh-oh.
557
00:19:12,189 --> 00:19:13,605
Somebody recuperated.
558
00:19:13,606 --> 00:19:16,647
Oh, well, well, well.
559
00:19:16,648 --> 00:19:19,271
- Look who's here.
- Hello, Larry.
560
00:19:19,272 --> 00:19:21,647
How's the temperature?
Is it to your liking?
561
00:19:21,648 --> 00:19:23,730
It's the optimal
temperature for climaxing.
562
00:19:23,731 --> 00:19:24,814
Oh, is it?
563
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:25,814
Ha, ha, is it?
564
00:19:25,815 --> 00:19:28,271
You... are gonna have to leave.
565
00:19:28,272 --> 00:19:30,730
- Such hospitality.
- Feels good?
566
00:19:30,731 --> 00:19:31,939
Namaste.
567
00:19:31,940 --> 00:19:33,313
Okay. Now get the fuck out.
568
00:19:33,314 --> 00:19:35,271
I'm still gonna
nama-stick-it-in-her.
569
00:19:35,272 --> 00:19:36,814
Tell you that.
570
00:19:36,815 --> 00:19:38,188
Hold on. Hold on, baby.
571
00:19:38,189 --> 00:19:39,939
Let me talk to you real quick.
572
00:19:39,940 --> 00:19:42,063
- It's right over there.
- That looks nice.
573
00:19:42,064 --> 00:19:44,188
- Why are we going to this place?
- Because...
574
00:19:44,189 --> 00:19:45,939
- It stinks.
- Highly recommended.
575
00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:48,146
They better have a cheeseburger,
no condiments.
576
00:19:48,147 --> 00:19:50,438
- I don't like condiments.
- Is that so?
577
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:52,980
- Hey, look at that guy.
- Yeah, look at that guy.
578
00:19:52,981 --> 00:19:54,814
Wow.
579
00:19:54,815 --> 00:19:56,313
Free.
580
00:19:56,314 --> 00:19:58,647
He'll be fine once we
get to the restaurant.
581
00:19:58,648 --> 00:19:59,980
- Uh...
- So...
582
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:01,522
Huh.
583
00:20:01,523 --> 00:20:02,855
- Thank you.
- Bye.
584
00:20:02,856 --> 00:20:04,397
- Well, well.
- Thank you.
585
00:20:04,398 --> 00:20:06,105
- Hey, you know what?
- What?
586
00:20:06,106 --> 00:20:06,981
I'll be right back.
587
00:20:10,398 --> 00:20:11,773
Oh, come on.
588
00:20:17,981 --> 00:20:19,105
A one?
589
00:20:19,106 --> 00:20:20,855
You gave me a one?
590
00:20:20,856 --> 00:20:22,980
- Honestly.
- I don't like the way you spoke to me.
591
00:20:22,981 --> 00:20:24,313
You insulted...
592
00:20:24,314 --> 00:20:26,855
you insulted the lowland
women of my country, okay?
593
00:20:26,856 --> 00:20:29,480
- You are asking me to set you up with...
- Let's be honest about it.
594
00:20:29,481 --> 00:20:30,980
They're not the most
attractive group...
595
00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:32,230
You have...
you've never seen...
596
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,897
you want me to pull up
pictures for you?
597
00:20:33,898 --> 00:20:35,397
I've seen plenty of
pictures of Romanian women.
598
00:20:35,398 --> 00:20:37,355
And the Bulgarians,
and the Hungarians.
599
00:20:37,356 --> 00:20:38,397
No beauties. Come on.
600
00:20:38,398 --> 00:20:39,980
First of all,
601
00:20:39,981 --> 00:20:41,772
do you hear yourself talking?
602
00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:44,146
You are the rudest person
I've ever met.
603
00:20:44,147 --> 00:20:46,271
You are an angry person, okay?
604
00:20:46,272 --> 00:20:47,855
And you ask me
to change the heat...
605
00:20:47,856 --> 00:20:49,855
Who's angry? You're the one
who's angry, not me.
606
00:20:49,856 --> 00:20:52,188
- You're angry.
- You are making me angry, my friend.
607
00:20:52,189 --> 00:20:55,730
I am not the one insulting your
culture, your country, your women.
608
00:20:55,731 --> 00:20:58,730
I gave you a five.
I gave you a five.
609
00:20:58,731 --> 00:21:00,355
Of course, because
I gave you nice service.
610
00:21:00,356 --> 00:21:02,397
I take you where you want to go,
quickest route.
611
00:21:02,398 --> 00:21:04,230
Okay, look, look,
I wanna ask you a favor, okay?
612
00:21:04,231 --> 00:21:06,313
I can't get Ubers now
on account of you,
613
00:21:06,314 --> 00:21:07,689
so I want you to
change the rating.
614
00:21:07,690 --> 00:21:08,939
Oh, change the rating?
615
00:21:08,940 --> 00:21:10,355
- Yeah.
- Okay.
616
00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:13,271
You want me to go into the
algorithm and change it?
617
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,939
Sure. Oh, no problem.
Of course.
618
00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:19,021
Let me just open a programming
window on my phone
619
00:21:19,022 --> 00:21:21,146
and enter some code for you.
620
00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:22,480
What are you writing
over there?
621
00:21:22,481 --> 00:21:24,313
I'm just entering some notes
for other drivers.
622
00:21:24,314 --> 00:21:25,730
- What is that?
- Don't worry.
623
00:21:25,731 --> 00:21:27,230
I wanna see what
you're writing.
624
00:21:27,231 --> 00:21:29,230
- Get out of my car.
- Give me that cell phone.
625
00:21:29,231 --> 00:21:30,397
I'm not giving you
my cell phone.
626
00:21:30,398 --> 00:21:32,063
Don't touch my cell phone.
627
00:21:32,064 --> 00:21:33,271
All right, you know what?
628
00:21:33,272 --> 00:21:35,689
I'm changing my rating of you.
629
00:21:35,690 --> 00:21:37,772
From a five to a zero.
630
00:21:37,773 --> 00:21:39,397
- Okay, try it. Take your phone out.
- Okay. Yeah, I will try it.
631
00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:41,814
Go ahead because Uber ratings
are final, my friend.
632
00:21:41,815 --> 00:21:43,355
- They're final?!
- They are final.
633
00:21:43,356 --> 00:21:45,146
You know what
I regret the most?
634
00:21:45,147 --> 00:21:46,313
When I said to you,
"If you were gonna
635
00:21:46,314 --> 00:21:48,063
fix me up with your sister,
636
00:21:48,064 --> 00:21:49,605
- what Uber rating would you give me?"
- Yeah.
637
00:21:49,606 --> 00:21:51,063
I would never go out
with your sister
638
00:21:51,064 --> 00:21:52,397
under any circumstances.
639
00:21:52,398 --> 00:21:54,397
My sister would not look
at a picture of you.
640
00:21:54,398 --> 00:21:57,313
- She's a gorgeous Romanian woman.
- Gorgeous Romanian?
641
00:21:57,314 --> 00:21:58,647
That's an oxymoron.
642
00:21:58,648 --> 00:22:00,105
- Gorgeous Romanian.
- That's it.
643
00:22:00,106 --> 00:22:02,313
- No, what? Hey!
- You think that I'm gonna...
644
00:22:02,314 --> 00:22:04,897
say something about
my sister again!
645
00:22:06,098 --> 00:22:07,188
And I'm telling you,
646
00:22:07,189 --> 00:22:08,772
I don't think Bridget's
kid has Asperger's.
647
00:22:08,773 --> 00:22:11,313
I swear to God,
I just think he's an asshole.
648
00:22:11,314 --> 00:22:15,438
- The kid's an asshole.
- I know a lot of people with Asperger's, I do.
649
00:22:15,439 --> 00:22:16,730
Not a lot, but I know some.
650
00:22:16,731 --> 00:22:18,605
And you know what,
they're delightful people.
651
00:22:18,606 --> 00:22:21,230
This kid,
I'm betting you're right.
652
00:22:21,231 --> 00:22:23,605
- Asshole.
- I think so.
653
00:22:23,606 --> 00:22:25,480
You know, to be honest with you,
654
00:22:25,481 --> 00:22:27,772
I'm gonna start telling people
that you're on the spectrum.
655
00:22:27,773 --> 00:22:28,873
I could be.
656
00:22:28,874 --> 00:22:31,438
Any bad behavior can be
written off as what?
657
00:22:31,439 --> 00:22:32,605
- Spectrum.
- Spectrum.
658
00:22:32,606 --> 00:22:34,105
Hello, hello, hello.
659
00:22:34,106 --> 00:22:35,814
It's hot as fuckin' hell
in there, Larry.
660
00:22:35,815 --> 00:22:37,188
Well, I know.
The... the heating's broken.
661
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:39,146
And the heating guy's here.
He's fixing it.
662
00:22:39,147 --> 00:22:40,480
That's why we're
sitting out here.
663
00:22:40,481 --> 00:22:41,772
Oh, all right. Well, listen,
664
00:22:41,773 --> 00:22:43,814
I'm going around
to all my friends
665
00:22:43,815 --> 00:22:46,146
and I'm giving them
these sample baskets.
666
00:22:46,147 --> 00:22:48,397
So maybe you could
give this one to Bridget.
667
00:22:48,398 --> 00:22:49,939
So... so what did
she say about me?
668
00:22:49,940 --> 00:22:52,855
Come on, give me...
give me a little something.
669
00:22:52,856 --> 00:22:54,730
Huh? What do you got?
670
00:22:54,731 --> 00:22:56,480
- What'd she say?
- She said to me...
671
00:22:56,481 --> 00:22:59,105
- Yeah.
- ...that she thinks you're terrific.
672
00:22:59,106 --> 00:23:01,146
There you go!
Now you're talking!
673
00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:02,814
- You like her?
- I do.
674
00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:05,855
But that prick son
is driving me crazy.
675
00:23:05,856 --> 00:23:07,647
Ugh, you know what,
you've never had children.
676
00:23:07,648 --> 00:23:10,063
Every single time you deal
with a woman with kids,
677
00:23:10,064 --> 00:23:11,146
you have a problem.
678
00:23:11,147 --> 00:23:13,146
I suggest you foster a kid.
679
00:23:17,690 --> 00:23:19,563
- Okay. I'll go...
- It'll make you a better man.
680
00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:21,188
I'll go down to the pound today.
681
00:23:21,189 --> 00:23:23,063
I'll go down...
I'll go down to the foster pound.
682
00:23:23,064 --> 00:23:24,563
Would you come with me
to the foster pound?
683
00:23:24,564 --> 00:23:26,689
Always looking forward for
a trip to the foster pound.
684
00:23:26,690 --> 00:23:29,689
- Oh, it is so hot in there.
- Yeah, I know.
685
00:23:29,690 --> 00:23:31,814
Yeah, it's, like,
stuck on 92 degrees.
686
00:23:31,815 --> 00:23:33,438
- I know.
- Yeah.
687
00:23:33,439 --> 00:23:34,689
It's much nicer out here.
688
00:23:34,690 --> 00:23:36,105
So what do you think?
How's it looking?
689
00:23:36,106 --> 00:23:38,271
Well, we're running
a system diagnostics test
690
00:23:38,272 --> 00:23:40,105
and, uh, you know,
we'll have our answer soon.
691
00:23:40,106 --> 00:23:42,188
Do you specialize more in
heating than air-conditioning?
692
00:23:42,189 --> 00:23:44,188
Oh, we do both...
heat and AC.
693
00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:46,563
If I called you up and said
I have a particular problem,
694
00:23:46,564 --> 00:23:48,980
would you prefer if I said
heating or air-conditioning?
695
00:23:48,981 --> 00:23:50,897
- I have no preference.
- No preference at all?
696
00:23:50,898 --> 00:23:52,730
No preference at all. You know, they're
like... you know, it's like children.
697
00:23:52,731 --> 00:23:55,063
Okay, like children.
Say you had a "Sophie's Choice."
698
00:23:55,064 --> 00:23:57,522
You have two children,
heating and air-conditioning.
699
00:23:57,523 --> 00:23:59,939
You have to pick one,
the one you had an infinity for,
700
00:23:59,940 --> 00:24:03,814
and the other one goes into
the concentration camp.
701
00:24:03,815 --> 00:24:05,398
Which one...
which one you gonna keep?
702
00:24:07,272 --> 00:24:08,689
Heat. Go with heat.
703
00:24:08,690 --> 00:24:10,980
So air conditioning's going
to the concentration camp.
704
00:24:10,981 --> 00:24:13,313
...going to the concentration camp,
but heat is saved.
705
00:24:15,272 --> 00:24:17,230
You know, our AC isn't
working that well either.
706
00:24:17,231 --> 00:24:20,356
- Ah, it's from Bridget.
- Wow.
707
00:24:23,022 --> 00:24:26,271
What she see's in him,
I have no idea.
708
00:24:26,272 --> 00:24:29,146
Hey. Hey.
How long is this gonna take?
709
00:24:29,147 --> 00:24:31,772
- I... you gotta get this done quickly.
- Yeah, I got some bad news.
710
00:24:31,773 --> 00:24:33,939
You got a broken part, and it's
gonna take about three days.
711
00:24:33,940 --> 00:24:36,230
- I don't have it on the truck. Yeah.
- What? Three days?
712
00:24:36,231 --> 00:24:38,105
Y-you were so confident outside.
713
00:24:38,106 --> 00:24:40,063
- You said you got it done.
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
714
00:24:40,064 --> 00:24:42,397
- You said you were a heat guy.
- I... I am a heat guy.
715
00:24:42,398 --> 00:24:44,188
What you have is
a cooling problem.
716
00:24:44,189 --> 00:24:45,563
- Cooling?!
- Yeah.
717
00:24:45,564 --> 00:24:47,271
You sent the cooling kid
to the concentration camp.
718
00:24:47,272 --> 00:24:49,105
Okay, it's not a kid, okay?
719
00:24:49,106 --> 00:24:50,480
It's chlorofluorocarbons.
720
00:24:50,481 --> 00:24:51,897
Okay, they're not...
they're not children.
721
00:24:51,898 --> 00:24:54,271
I did not send a child
to a concentration camp.
722
00:24:54,272 --> 00:24:55,772
Yeah, you know,
I was gonna consummate.
723
00:24:55,773 --> 00:24:57,271
I had a window open
to consummate.
724
00:24:57,272 --> 00:24:58,605
Now the window's closed.
725
00:24:58,606 --> 00:25:00,188
- No consummation.
- Why is it closed?
726
00:25:00,189 --> 00:25:02,021
Well, I'm not gonna have
sex in a 92-degree room.
727
00:25:02,022 --> 00:25:04,021
You get all sweaty.
There's... it's disgusting.
728
00:25:04,022 --> 00:25:06,271
The sweat's on the sheets,
I have to take my shirt off.
729
00:25:06,272 --> 00:25:07,689
I'm not gonna have sex
with my shirt off.
730
00:25:07,690 --> 00:25:09,730
You don't take your
shirt off during sex?
731
00:25:09,731 --> 00:25:11,980
- No, I don't... no.
- I take my shirt off while I'm kissing.
732
00:25:11,981 --> 00:25:13,397
I love it.
I get completely free.
733
00:25:13,398 --> 00:25:15,397
All right. I...
I don't really know your name.
734
00:25:15,398 --> 00:25:16,897
You don't have one
of those little tags on...
735
00:25:16,898 --> 00:25:18,730
- No, we don't wear tags.
- I'll take a guess.
736
00:25:18,731 --> 00:25:21,313
- Uh, Bob?
- It's Bill.
737
00:25:21,314 --> 00:25:24,105
All right, Bill, uh, let's
not talk about this anymore.
738
00:25:24,106 --> 00:25:25,563
All right, I'm sorry,
you brought it up.
739
00:25:25,564 --> 00:25:27,772
Yeah, I did.
I... I gotta text her
740
00:25:27,773 --> 00:25:30,605
and tell her we can't...
she can't come over.
741
00:25:30,606 --> 00:25:32,314
I got it.
742
00:25:35,272 --> 00:25:37,146
I'm here for my money, Lar...
743
00:25:37,147 --> 00:25:38,730
oh, my God.
744
00:25:38,731 --> 00:25:40,772
I'm Justin.
My car was the one,
745
00:25:40,773 --> 00:25:44,230
uh, damaged, um...
746
00:25:44,231 --> 00:25:46,522
I'm sorry, I didn't kno...
I didn't know you were black.
747
00:25:46,523 --> 00:25:48,814
- Does it matter?
- No. God, no.
748
00:25:48,815 --> 00:25:51,730
No, like, that could
literally not matter less.
749
00:25:51,731 --> 00:25:53,438
Yeah, uh, um,
750
00:25:53,439 --> 00:25:55,814
you know, this is the estimate
I got from the dealership,
751
00:25:55,815 --> 00:25:57,063
but, uh, it seems high.
752
00:25:57,064 --> 00:26:00,730
And, uh, like,
the car, it wasn't...
753
00:26:00,731 --> 00:26:02,814
You know, why don't...
754
00:26:02,815 --> 00:26:04,689
why don't I just
take care of this?
755
00:26:04,690 --> 00:26:06,480
We'll, uh...
we'll call this one good.
756
00:26:06,481 --> 00:26:08,522
I'm... I'm really sorry
for the misunderstanding.
757
00:26:08,523 --> 00:26:10,563
Anyway, uh, thank you
for leaving a note.
758
00:26:10,564 --> 00:26:12,146
That was really considerate.
Thank you.
759
00:26:12,147 --> 00:26:13,855
- My man.
- My man. Thank you.
760
00:26:13,856 --> 00:26:15,855
- We good.
- Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry about...
761
00:26:15,856 --> 00:26:18,030
- I'm gonna go ahead and take care.
- Yeah, yeah, we good.
762
00:26:18,031 --> 00:26:19,030
okay.
763
00:26:23,064 --> 00:26:24,146
Wow.
764
00:26:24,147 --> 00:26:25,438
- Huh?!
- Look at that.
765
00:26:25,439 --> 00:26:27,105
- That was beautiful.
- That was nice.
766
00:26:27,106 --> 00:26:29,021
- White people.
- Hey, man, white people.
767
00:26:29,022 --> 00:26:31,605
Gotta love 'em. Namaste.
768
00:26:31,606 --> 00:26:33,064
Namaste up in
this mother fucker.
769
00:26:36,189 --> 00:26:37,064
Hey, Greg.
770
00:26:38,189 --> 00:26:40,772
Ah...
hey, Larry.
771
00:26:40,773 --> 00:26:42,523
Yeah, um...
772
00:26:43,773 --> 00:26:46,438
I just came to apologize
773
00:26:46,439 --> 00:26:47,563
for the other day.
774
00:26:47,564 --> 00:26:50,980
Thing is
that I didn't m...
775
00:26:50,981 --> 00:26:54,397
tell you was that
I have Asperger's.
776
00:26:54,398 --> 00:26:56,313
You have Asperger's? Ah.
777
00:26:56,314 --> 00:26:58,188
Jeff never mentioned anything,
I'm so sorry.
778
00:26:58,189 --> 00:26:59,438
Why would he need to?
779
00:26:59,439 --> 00:27:01,188
Well, no, no, no, I...
he doesn't need to.
780
00:27:01,189 --> 00:27:03,188
You... you're right.
I'm sorry.
781
00:27:03,189 --> 00:27:04,814
Um, how bad is it?
782
00:27:04,815 --> 00:27:06,647
Is... I mean, how mild or?
783
00:27:06,648 --> 00:27:08,980
No, I'm on the, uh...
I'm on the spectrum.
784
00:27:08,981 --> 00:27:10,480
You know, I have no...
I have no filter.
785
00:27:10,481 --> 00:27:11,814
I say whatever
comes into my head.
786
00:27:11,815 --> 00:27:13,480
You know, I have trouble
making eye contact.
787
00:27:13,481 --> 00:27:15,313
I... I get it.
I... you know what?
788
00:27:15,314 --> 00:27:17,188
We'll have the car
ready for you tomorrow.
789
00:27:17,189 --> 00:27:18,897
It's just a ding.
Free of charge.
790
00:27:18,898 --> 00:27:20,689
What?! What? What?
791
00:27:20,690 --> 00:27:23,063
- Yeah, again, I apologize so much.
- Yeah, yeah.
792
00:27:23,064 --> 00:27:24,230
- Tomorrow. Yeah.
- Sorry.
793
00:27:24,231 --> 00:27:25,313
He said he's sorry. He's sorry.
794
00:27:25,314 --> 00:27:26,730
I... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
795
00:27:26,731 --> 00:27:28,313
Yeah, he's really sorry.
He's sorry.
796
00:27:28,314 --> 00:27:29,730
Car will be ready when?
797
00:27:29,731 --> 00:27:30,939
- Tomorrow.
- Tomorrow.
798
00:27:30,940 --> 00:27:32,480
- Free.
- S-see you tomorrow.
799
00:27:32,481 --> 00:27:33,939
Tomorrow.
800
00:27:33,940 --> 00:27:35,271
- T-t... yeah, tomorrow.
- Yeah.
801
00:27:35,272 --> 00:27:36,522
- Tomorrow.
- Tomorrow, tomorrow.
802
00:27:36,523 --> 00:27:38,522
- Yeah, okay.
- You need a ride?
803
00:27:38,523 --> 00:27:40,438
No, I'm a...
I'm a good driver.
804
00:27:40,439 --> 00:27:41,981
I'm a good driver.
805
00:27:44,147 --> 00:27:46,355
- Nice to be out, isn't it?
- I love this shit.
806
00:27:46,356 --> 00:27:48,814
- Out of that hot house?
- You can't take that shit.
807
00:27:48,815 --> 00:27:51,230
You a Anglo-Anglo motherfucker.
808
00:27:51,231 --> 00:27:52,605
You know?
809
00:27:52,606 --> 00:27:55,106
Your body's not used to
that kind of temperature.
810
00:28:00,648 --> 00:28:02,939
- The fuck is it?
- Bridget.
811
00:28:02,940 --> 00:28:04,647
- The... the NBC censor.
- Yeah, yeah.
812
00:28:04,648 --> 00:28:07,146
I haven't had sex with her yet.
She invited me over to her house.
813
00:28:07,147 --> 00:28:08,772
- We got an hour.
- Oh, man.
814
00:28:08,773 --> 00:28:10,271
- I got an hour window.
- An hour's a good fuck window.
815
00:28:10,272 --> 00:28:11,522
Fuck, I don't have a car.
816
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:12,563
I need to borrow your car.
817
00:28:12,564 --> 00:28:13,605
- Mm-mmm.
- What?!
818
00:28:13,606 --> 00:28:14,647
You ain't borrowing my car.
819
00:28:14,648 --> 00:28:15,939
- Why not?!
- I got a date.
820
00:28:15,940 --> 00:28:17,146
You're not gonna
give me your car?
821
00:28:17,147 --> 00:28:18,480
No! You're not getting
my fucking car.
822
00:28:18,481 --> 00:28:19,855
No, no, no.
Use the guest house.
823
00:28:19,856 --> 00:28:21,105
- The guest house?!
- Use that shit, man.
824
00:28:21,106 --> 00:28:22,271
That scum-shack?!
825
00:28:22,272 --> 00:28:23,313
You think I'm gonna
go in there?
826
00:28:23,314 --> 00:28:24,522
- Are you crazy?
- Scum-shack?
827
00:28:24,523 --> 00:28:26,021
There must have been
10,000 ejaculations
828
00:28:26,022 --> 00:28:27,313
in that place in
just two years.
829
00:28:27,314 --> 00:28:28,814
That means that room
is broken in.
830
00:28:28,815 --> 00:28:30,438
It's ready. It's prime
and ready to fuck.
831
00:28:30,439 --> 00:28:32,605
Okay, fuck that.
All right, I'll tell you what.
832
00:28:32,606 --> 00:28:34,480
Okay, I'll tell you what.
833
00:28:34,481 --> 00:28:35,897
I... I can't do Uber,
834
00:28:35,898 --> 00:28:38,355
so just get...
get me an Uber.
835
00:28:38,356 --> 00:28:39,855
- No, fuck that.
- What?
836
00:28:39,856 --> 00:28:41,021
You gonna bring
my rating down.
837
00:28:41,022 --> 00:28:42,397
I'm a good five right now.
838
00:28:42,398 --> 00:28:44,438
- I'm a five.
- No, no, you a fuckin' one.
839
00:28:44,439 --> 00:28:46,063
Yeah, well, that's 'cause
one idiot changed it to a one.
840
00:28:46,064 --> 00:28:47,313
- No, no, no, no.
- That doesn't mean anything.
841
00:28:47,314 --> 00:28:48,605
You don't know how
to respect people.
842
00:28:48,606 --> 00:28:49,897
- You're a cocksucker.
- Fuck that.
843
00:28:49,898 --> 00:28:51,855
- I'm gonna take a bus.
- Yeah, you do that.
844
00:28:51,856 --> 00:28:53,188
- You a cocksucker!
- Hey!
845
00:28:53,189 --> 00:28:54,855
And your friendship rating
just went down!
846
00:28:54,856 --> 00:28:56,815
Hey! Hey!
847
00:28:58,064 --> 00:28:59,730
Hey! No, no, no.
848
00:28:59,731 --> 00:29:02,398
Oh, come on.
Op-open the door!
849
00:29:04,648 --> 00:29:06,605
Does this go to
Olympic and Hauser?
850
00:29:06,606 --> 00:29:08,731
- Not all the way. You gotta transfer.
- Transfer?
851
00:29:17,231 --> 00:29:18,438
What are you sitting
in the middle for?
852
00:29:18,439 --> 00:29:19,480
Why don't you
move over one?
853
00:29:21,564 --> 00:29:23,689
Okay, or whatever
you're saying,
854
00:29:23,690 --> 00:29:25,814
but it's... it's
a little strange.
855
00:29:25,815 --> 00:29:27,438
I've never seen a person
sit in the middle.
856
00:29:27,439 --> 00:29:29,855
It's like using
the middle urinal.
857
00:29:33,856 --> 00:29:37,271
You know it's odd, I... I'm not sure
if you can understand me or not just...
858
00:29:39,564 --> 00:29:41,480
No, no, you go over there.
859
00:29:43,356 --> 00:29:45,230
No, you sit there. No, no.
860
00:29:51,231 --> 00:29:52,730
Sir?
861
00:29:52,731 --> 00:29:54,063
Olympic and Hauser?
862
00:29:54,064 --> 00:29:56,605
I'm supposed to go to, um... sir?
863
00:29:56,606 --> 00:29:59,230
I'm supposed to go to,
uh, Olympic and Hauser.
864
00:29:59,231 --> 00:30:00,563
Yeah, well, that's easy, man.
865
00:30:00,564 --> 00:30:02,063
Get off at the La Cienega stop.
866
00:30:02,064 --> 00:30:03,230
You got a couple options.
867
00:30:03,231 --> 00:30:04,980
Okay, will you tell me
when that's, uh...
868
00:30:04,981 --> 00:30:07,563
- when that's coming up?
- I'm not your babysitter.
869
00:30:07,564 --> 00:30:08,773
Figure it out.
870
00:30:10,064 --> 00:30:13,105
This bus is a very cold,
unforgiving place.
871
00:30:13,106 --> 00:30:14,398
I don't like it one bit.
872
00:30:17,231 --> 00:30:19,105
Does this go to
Olympic and Hauser?
873
00:30:19,106 --> 00:30:20,940
Mm-hmm.
874
00:30:24,981 --> 00:30:26,105
There you go.
875
00:30:26,106 --> 00:30:28,605
- To transfer, right?
- Yup.
876
00:30:28,606 --> 00:30:30,897
- Huh. Yeah, I did it.
- All right, you did it,
877
00:30:30,898 --> 00:30:32,271
but can you do me
a favor and get
878
00:30:32,272 --> 00:30:34,271
behind the yellow line
for your safety?
879
00:30:34,272 --> 00:30:35,772
- Thank you.
- Could you do me a favor
880
00:30:35,773 --> 00:30:38,480
and maybe go a little faster
than you normally might?
881
00:30:38,481 --> 00:30:40,146
I... I cannot
do you that favor.
882
00:30:40,147 --> 00:30:43,939
Yellows. If there's anyway that...
to ignore the yellows.
883
00:30:43,940 --> 00:30:45,605
Sir, I'm not ignoring
any yellows.
884
00:30:45,606 --> 00:30:47,730
- I... I understand but people...
- Have a seat. Have a seat.
885
00:30:47,731 --> 00:30:50,105
People pay a little too much
attention to yellows and...
886
00:30:50,106 --> 00:30:52,730
I am driving this bus.
I don't wanna hear no more back talk.
887
00:30:52,731 --> 00:30:55,021
- There's not another route?
- Sit down!
888
00:30:55,022 --> 00:30:56,855
- There is not another route.
- Hey, shush down here for a second.
889
00:30:56,856 --> 00:30:58,480
I got some personal business.
890
00:30:58,481 --> 00:30:59,939
You gonna make me crazy now.
891
00:30:59,940 --> 00:31:01,480
Do you wanna drive
this bus, sir?
892
00:31:01,481 --> 00:31:03,438
- Is that an option?
- No, it's not an option.
893
00:31:03,439 --> 00:31:05,522
I'ma need you to go
and sit the hell down.
894
00:31:05,523 --> 00:31:06,814
This is danger. Come and sit!
895
00:31:06,815 --> 00:31:08,855
Hey, this is none
of your business, okay?
896
00:31:08,856 --> 00:31:11,021
Just... just take it easy.
I... I've got a...
897
00:31:11,022 --> 00:31:12,730
- Sit down!
- Sit down!
898
00:31:12,731 --> 00:31:14,563
Sit your ass down!
899
00:31:14,564 --> 00:31:18,063
Get behind the yellow
line and sit down.
900
00:31:18,064 --> 00:31:20,772
Shit.
901
00:31:20,773 --> 00:31:22,814
- You no listen!
- You clipped a mirror.
902
00:31:22,815 --> 00:31:24,147
No shit, Sherlock.
903
00:31:26,648 --> 00:31:28,146
What's going on?
What are you doing?
904
00:31:28,147 --> 00:31:29,689
- I gotta pull over.
- What? Pull over?
905
00:31:29,690 --> 00:31:31,689
- Are you kidding? Why?
- Yeah. I have to leave a note.
906
00:31:31,690 --> 00:31:33,563
- A note? Oh, no, that's a terrible mistake.
- Yes.
907
00:31:33,564 --> 00:31:35,689
Terrible. People don't
appreciate them anyway.
908
00:31:35,690 --> 00:31:37,855
- I'm telling you the truth.
- You know, this is some bullshit.
909
00:31:37,856 --> 00:31:39,480
The whole reason I hit this car
910
00:31:39,481 --> 00:31:41,188
is because you was up here...
yack, yack, yack...
911
00:31:41,189 --> 00:31:43,313
talking in my ear,
"Go through the yellow light.
912
00:31:43,314 --> 00:31:45,313
- Faster. Go. Go."
- I didn't do anything.
913
00:31:45,314 --> 00:31:47,021
- Hey, will you sit down, please?
- Hey, you know what?
914
00:31:47,022 --> 00:31:48,980
You bus people are starting
to get on my nerves, okay?
915
00:31:48,981 --> 00:31:51,188
That's it.
Get the fuck off the bus!
916
00:31:51,189 --> 00:31:53,105
Hey, take... wha-what...
hey, what are you doing?
917
00:31:53,106 --> 00:31:55,021
No, you... I...
918
00:31:55,022 --> 00:31:57,689
I have Asperger's!
I'm on the spectrum!
919
00:31:57,690 --> 00:31:59,356
- Ah!
- Get.
920
00:32:04,481 --> 00:32:07,398
If I see you on my bus again,
I'm a fuck you up.
921
00:32:08,898 --> 00:32:10,856
Okay.
922
00:32:17,439 --> 00:32:19,021
- Oh, Leon!
- Yeah, come on, now.
923
00:32:19,022 --> 00:32:22,105
Come on, now! Whoo!
924
00:32:22,106 --> 00:32:23,980
- Ooh! Yeah.
- Right there.
925
00:32:23,981 --> 00:32:25,647
- Yeah, yeah, here it come.
- Oh!
926
00:32:27,815 --> 00:32:29,897
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
927
00:32:29,898 --> 00:32:31,397
- Oh, my...
- Take that, take that.
928
00:32:31,398 --> 00:32:32,730
Oh, yeah.
929
00:32:32,731 --> 00:32:34,730
- Oh, God.
- Ooh!
930
00:32:34,731 --> 00:32:36,355
- Here we go!
- Oh my, God!
931
00:32:36,356 --> 00:32:37,647
Oh, my Gawd!
932
00:32:37,648 --> 00:32:40,063
- Oh! Yeah!
- Do I hear a Jew?
933
00:32:40,064 --> 00:32:42,022
I'm not gonna do that!