1 00:00:10,999 --> 00:00:12,707 - Huh? Is that amazing? - That is... 2 00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,373 - Unbelievable story! - You know what? 3 00:00:14,374 --> 00:00:16,165 None of it would have happened 4 00:00:16,166 --> 00:00:19,665 if I didn't intercede on that guy's behalf in the restaurant. 5 00:00:19,666 --> 00:00:21,790 - Unbelievable, Larry. - It saved your life. 6 00:00:21,791 --> 00:00:23,874 - Saved my life. - What if he hadn't wanted seconds? 7 00:00:23,875 --> 00:00:25,415 None of this would have happened. 8 00:00:25,416 --> 00:00:26,707 - None of it would have happened. - Bashert. 9 00:00:26,708 --> 00:00:29,290 The fatwa is over! 10 00:00:29,291 --> 00:00:30,457 - Yes! - The fatwa is over! 11 00:00:30,458 --> 00:00:31,874 Let's drink to that, huh? 12 00:00:31,875 --> 00:00:33,415 It's a new me. It's a new me. 13 00:00:33,416 --> 00:00:35,498 Well, whatever. We're glad you're back, Larry. 14 00:00:35,499 --> 00:00:37,206 - Thank you, Susie. - Welcome. 15 00:00:37,207 --> 00:00:38,582 I didn't even tell you the biggest news. 16 00:00:38,583 --> 00:00:41,373 "Fatwa! the Musical" is back on. 17 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,624 - It is? - Whoa, wait... wait a second. 18 00:00:43,625 --> 00:00:45,332 You're jumping the gun a little bit. 19 00:00:45,333 --> 00:00:48,040 We're having a meeting with Lin-Manuel Miranda this week, 20 00:00:48,041 --> 00:00:49,540 and if he wants to do it, then... 21 00:00:49,541 --> 00:00:52,582 You're meeting with Lin-Manuel Miranda? Oh, my... 22 00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:55,540 It's the only way it can go forward... is if he's in it. 23 00:00:55,541 --> 00:00:57,874 He's in LA now, right? Isn't it... aren't they doing the show here? 24 00:00:57,875 --> 00:00:59,790 Yeah, they're doing "Hamilton." 25 00:00:59,791 --> 00:01:02,081 Yeah, can you get us tickets? I mean, it's here. 26 00:01:02,082 --> 00:01:03,915 No, it's here and we can't even get tickets to it! 27 00:01:03,916 --> 00:01:06,123 Already with the "Hamilton" tickets? Are you kidding? 28 00:01:06,124 --> 00:01:07,749 - I would love some, too. - Huh? 29 00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:08,998 I don't know if I can get you tickets. 30 00:01:08,999 --> 00:01:10,624 I haven't even met the guy yet. 31 00:01:10,625 --> 00:01:12,749 - You saw it, right? - Yeah, I saw it in New York. 32 00:01:12,750 --> 00:01:14,707 - Fantastic. - Isn't it so fantastic? 33 00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,165 Oh, my God, I love that show. Incredible. 34 00:01:16,166 --> 00:01:18,373 I saw it and I played... 35 00:01:18,374 --> 00:01:20,749 36 holes of golf that day. 36 00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:25,248 And, uh, I fell asleep before the second act of "Hamilton." 37 00:01:25,249 --> 00:01:26,489 - You're kidding. - I slept through... 38 00:01:26,490 --> 00:01:27,790 I slept through the intermission. 39 00:01:27,791 --> 00:01:29,956 - No! - You fell asleep? Wait a minute. 40 00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:33,457 Only you would fall asleep at the hottest show on Broadway. 41 00:01:33,458 --> 00:01:35,373 - Hey, hey. Guys, guys. - How did you fall asleep? 42 00:01:35,374 --> 00:01:36,832 - It's so exciting and interesting. - The Shucker. 43 00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:38,457 - Excuse me, the Shucker. - Oh, the Shucker. 44 00:01:38,458 --> 00:01:40,540 - Hey, how's everybody doing? - Hello. 45 00:01:40,541 --> 00:01:42,081 - Taste good? - Fantastic. 46 00:01:42,082 --> 00:01:43,498 It's all good? No grit? 47 00:01:43,499 --> 00:01:44,956 - No grit. - Okay, no grit. 48 00:01:44,957 --> 00:01:46,956 Just shuck and awe. Okay, well, that's great. 49 00:01:46,957 --> 00:01:49,206 I've got a... I got a whole bunch of bluepoints. 50 00:01:49,207 --> 00:01:50,956 Got some Kusshis for you all. 51 00:01:50,957 --> 00:01:53,165 - Whoo! - Hope you left some room. 52 00:01:53,166 --> 00:01:55,040 - Okay. - I know he did. 53 00:01:55,041 --> 00:01:56,749 Fantastic. Cute as could be. 54 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,624 - Ay, God. - Shucking? 55 00:01:58,625 --> 00:02:00,373 - What's the matter? - What's the matter? 56 00:02:00,374 --> 00:02:02,832 - What happened? - He overheard that entire story 57 00:02:02,833 --> 00:02:04,624 about me sleeping through "Hamilton." 58 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,332 What do you care? What difference does it make? 59 00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:08,332 I just hope it doesn't get back to... to Lin. 60 00:02:08,333 --> 00:02:10,457 I doubt that, Larry. You're paranoid. 61 00:02:10,458 --> 00:02:12,832 He shucks all over town. I don't know what circles he shucks in. 62 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:15,624 He could shuck and tell. 63 00:02:15,625 --> 00:02:18,165 - I'll be back. - Do you think we can still get the tickets? 64 00:02:18,166 --> 00:02:20,040 Who's ringing the bell this time of night? 65 00:02:20,041 --> 00:02:21,749 It's Lin-Manuel Miranda. 66 00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:23,998 I think he heard about the... 67 00:02:23,999 --> 00:02:28,332 Hello, I'm Rose Shapiro. Remember me? 68 00:02:28,333 --> 00:02:29,415 No. 69 00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,832 I sold you this house five years ago. 70 00:02:31,833 --> 00:02:33,165 Oh, okay. 71 00:02:33,166 --> 00:02:36,290 Um, well, what can I do for you? 72 00:02:36,291 --> 00:02:38,373 Well, I was in the neighborhood 73 00:02:38,374 --> 00:02:40,081 and I thought I'd just pop in 74 00:02:40,082 --> 00:02:43,373 and see how my house is doing if that's okay with you. 75 00:02:43,374 --> 00:02:46,415 Actually, I'm... sorry, I've got some dinner guests, so. 76 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,206 Well, I won't take but a minute. 77 00:02:48,207 --> 00:02:51,415 I was so happy in this house. I lived here for 50 years. 78 00:02:51,416 --> 00:02:53,998 Raised all my children here. Is that okay? 79 00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:56,123 - Yeah, I... yeah, okay. - Oh, oh, thank you. 80 00:02:56,124 --> 00:02:57,707 But it can't be too long, though, okay? 81 00:02:57,708 --> 00:03:00,624 It won't be, I promise you. I'll be very discreet. 82 00:03:00,625 --> 00:03:02,998 What have you done here? 83 00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:07,248 You've covered up that cut stone from Italy with a rug! 84 00:03:07,249 --> 00:03:09,665 Yeah, well, it needed a little warming up in here. 85 00:03:09,666 --> 00:03:12,707 It was very cold and I happen to like it. 86 00:03:12,708 --> 00:03:15,081 And you know what? It happens to be my house, so... 87 00:03:15,082 --> 00:03:17,457 And what have you done in here? 88 00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,624 Where's the wonderful wallpaper I put up? 89 00:03:19,625 --> 00:03:22,540 The wallpaper with the pirates? Are you kidding? 90 00:03:22,541 --> 00:03:24,206 It was the first thing I took down when I moved in. 91 00:03:24,207 --> 00:03:25,498 Well, I guess it's your house. 92 00:03:25,499 --> 00:03:27,332 You can do anything you want to. 93 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:29,165 - Yeah, oh, yes! - I think I'll check over here. 94 00:03:29,166 --> 00:03:32,332 That's true! That... I can do anything I want to! 95 00:03:32,333 --> 00:03:33,832 What are you doing... what the fuck? 96 00:03:33,833 --> 00:03:35,457 I'm checking the master bedroom. 97 00:03:35,458 --> 00:03:37,915 I don't want you to. It's my house. 98 00:03:37,916 --> 00:03:40,206 Well, all right. If you wanna be that way. 99 00:03:40,207 --> 00:03:42,206 Yeah, I think I do wanna be that way. 100 00:03:42,207 --> 00:03:43,874 I do. All right, you know what? 101 00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:46,040 I think it's time to go. Let's go. Come on. 102 00:03:46,041 --> 00:03:47,624 - All right. - Come on. 103 00:03:47,625 --> 00:03:49,332 - I guess I better go. - Enough. I've had enough. 104 00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:51,290 - Oh! - Ay-ay-ay. 105 00:03:51,291 --> 00:03:55,040 Look at this poor ficus! What have you done? 106 00:03:55,041 --> 00:03:58,749 I left this with you in good faith to love and cherish. 107 00:03:58,750 --> 00:04:00,749 Yeah, no, I've taken very good care of it. 108 00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:02,998 - It's old. - It's dropping all its leaves. Do you water it? 109 00:04:02,999 --> 00:04:05,582 Of course I water it. All right, come on, I got some people here. 110 00:04:05,583 --> 00:04:07,123 You've got to go. Come on. 111 00:04:07,124 --> 00:04:09,248 There's the door. Time to go. Thank you. 112 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,457 Good-bye. Thank you for stopping by. 113 00:04:11,458 --> 00:04:14,248 - Don't do it again. - No, I know, I know. 114 00:04:14,249 --> 00:04:16,498 And then, Todd, this other guy, 115 00:04:16,499 --> 00:04:18,998 had... what's the male equivalent of bush? 116 00:04:18,999 --> 00:04:20,457 - Man bush. - Man bush. 117 00:04:20,458 --> 00:04:23,790 That, like... so, finding his penis was like... 118 00:04:23,791 --> 00:04:25,998 I'm searching for the baby bird in the... 119 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,707 - In the nest. - In the nest. 120 00:04:28,708 --> 00:04:30,457 And then I'm, like, looking. 121 00:04:30,458 --> 00:04:32,290 I couldn't even find the goods 122 00:04:32,291 --> 00:04:34,874 because the Afro was so intense. 123 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,332 Yeah, okay, all right. 124 00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:38,165 I think... I think we've heard enough of that story. 125 00:04:38,166 --> 00:04:39,498 - Sorry, Lar. - But, Larry, 126 00:04:39,499 --> 00:04:40,956 she has so many funny stories about her exes. 127 00:04:40,957 --> 00:04:42,540 I've been hearing them for years. 128 00:04:42,541 --> 00:04:44,415 - They're hilarious. - Yeah, I'm sure. 129 00:04:44,416 --> 00:04:46,081 - Yeah. - Remember the one you told me about? 130 00:04:46,082 --> 00:04:48,081 - The guy who... the leaner? - Yeah, the leaner. 131 00:04:48,082 --> 00:04:49,998 - Yes. - The Leaning Tower of Pisa? 132 00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:51,624 - That guy? - The Leaning Tower of Peter. 133 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,832 Yeah, oh, that's... that's a good one, too. 134 00:04:53,833 --> 00:04:56,081 - That was a good one. - I know, I know. 135 00:04:56,082 --> 00:04:57,832 And then Todd, this other guy... 136 00:04:57,833 --> 00:04:59,790 Oh, yeah. Oh, that was so many years ago. 137 00:04:59,791 --> 00:05:02,665 Oh, my God. I don't believe it. 138 00:05:02,666 --> 00:05:05,415 This room used to be so warm and inviting. 139 00:05:05,416 --> 00:05:07,498 Mrs. Shapiro, what are... what are you doing? 140 00:05:07,499 --> 00:05:08,749 - Well, I just... - I thought you left. 141 00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:10,373 Well, I was just looking around. 142 00:05:10,374 --> 00:05:12,457 - It used to be so different. - She used to live in the house. 143 00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:13,998 Uh, she wanted to look around. 144 00:05:13,999 --> 00:05:16,415 And the house was so much better when I had it. 145 00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:18,998 - I don't know what he's done with this. - Okay, you need to go now. 146 00:05:18,999 --> 00:05:21,707 - Well, you don't have to be rude about it. - You're the one being rude. 147 00:05:21,708 --> 00:05:23,498 You come in here and you're criticizing my house. 148 00:05:23,499 --> 00:05:25,248 You don't live here anymore. 149 00:05:25,249 --> 00:05:26,790 That's right, keep going. 150 00:05:26,791 --> 00:05:30,415 Yeah, and now close it. 151 00:05:30,416 --> 00:05:31,832 Close it. 152 00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:34,206 - Go... go back to the leaner. - Okay. 153 00:05:34,207 --> 00:05:36,123 The Leaning Tower of Peter? 154 00:05:36,124 --> 00:05:38,332 Oh, and he was a biter, too. 155 00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:40,373 He used to bite me on the ass. 156 00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:42,707 - Which was not as bad as... - A bite on the damn nipple! 157 00:05:42,708 --> 00:05:46,498 Oh, my God, totally. 'Cause that hurts. 158 00:05:46,499 --> 00:05:48,123 Well, that's it, everybody. 159 00:05:48,124 --> 00:05:50,290 - I'm all done for the night. - Whoo! 160 00:05:50,291 --> 00:05:52,540 Thanks. It's been a privilege working for you tonight. 161 00:05:52,541 --> 00:05:54,040 And I hope you agree with me 162 00:05:54,041 --> 00:05:57,206 that this has been a spectacular "shuck-cess." 163 00:05:57,207 --> 00:05:59,332 - Whoa! - Oh, nice. Okay. 164 00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:01,123 - Thank you. - I'll... I'll walk you out. 165 00:06:01,124 --> 00:06:02,749 - He's adorable. - Yeah. 166 00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:04,956 - Bridge, what was the guy... - Anyway, um, 167 00:06:04,957 --> 00:06:06,040 it was great having you here tonight. 168 00:06:06,041 --> 00:06:07,373 Everybody really enjoyed it. 169 00:06:07,374 --> 00:06:08,874 I hope so. I hope so. 170 00:06:08,875 --> 00:06:10,373 - Had a great time. - Yeah. Yeah, it was great. 171 00:06:10,374 --> 00:06:13,040 Um, I just wanna say one thing. 172 00:06:13,041 --> 00:06:15,498 You know, earlier when I was talking about "Hamilton," 173 00:06:15,499 --> 00:06:19,956 what... what you didn't hear me say was that I played, 174 00:06:19,957 --> 00:06:24,415 uh, 36 holes of golf that day and I was exhausted. 175 00:06:24,416 --> 00:06:28,832 And that's one of the reasons I was so tired, 176 00:06:28,833 --> 00:06:30,457 uh, during the performance. 177 00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:34,582 I mean, I... I loved what I... what I saw. 178 00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:39,956 Sure. What I heard was that you fell asleep. 179 00:06:39,957 --> 00:06:42,165 Yes, I did fall asleep, but what you didn't hear 180 00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:44,415 is why I fell asleep, why I was so tired. 181 00:06:44,416 --> 00:06:45,915 - I loved the show. - Sure. 182 00:06:45,916 --> 00:06:48,457 You can paint it or dress it up 183 00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:52,665 anyway you want, but sleep is sleep. 184 00:06:52,666 --> 00:06:56,081 - And you fell asleep. - Yeah. 185 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:59,123 - All right? - True, I did. 186 00:06:59,124 --> 00:07:01,956 But, uh, I would hope that as you shuck 187 00:07:01,957 --> 00:07:04,624 from house to house that, uh, 188 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:09,290 you can afford me some shucker discretion in this matter. 189 00:07:09,291 --> 00:07:11,290 - I understand. - Oh. 190 00:07:11,291 --> 00:07:13,498 - And I appreciate that. - Good. Thank you. 191 00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:17,248 And I would also appreciate, um, 192 00:07:17,249 --> 00:07:18,957 two tickets to "Hamilton." 193 00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:24,874 - Oh. Really? - Yeah. 194 00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:26,081 Well... 195 00:07:26,082 --> 00:07:28,956 I don't have any access 196 00:07:28,957 --> 00:07:31,165 to getting you tickets to "Hamilton," okay? 197 00:07:31,166 --> 00:07:34,081 - It's most unfortunate. - And why is... why is that? 198 00:07:34,082 --> 00:07:39,998 It'd be a shame if Lin-Manuel Miranda 199 00:07:39,999 --> 00:07:44,625 ever found out that someone was falling asleep in his show. 200 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:50,624 - I'll see what I can do. - Super. 201 00:07:50,625 --> 00:07:52,207 - Yeah. - Okay. 202 00:07:56,499 --> 00:07:59,248 I like that guy. 203 00:07:59,249 --> 00:08:00,956 - Oh, he was adorable. - He was adorable. 204 00:08:00,957 --> 00:08:03,749 - What? Who? - This cake is unbelievable. 205 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,915 - I know. - Oh, it's the best cheesecake. 206 00:08:05,916 --> 00:08:07,206 Um, all right. 207 00:08:07,207 --> 00:08:09,998 I think, uh... I think we're good here. 208 00:08:09,999 --> 00:08:11,081 I think that's enough. 209 00:08:11,082 --> 00:08:12,373 - What? - That's enough. 210 00:08:12,374 --> 00:08:14,332 - What are you talking about? - Time to go. 211 00:08:14,333 --> 00:08:16,540 We're having afterdinner conversation, Larry. 212 00:08:16,541 --> 00:08:18,915 - It's enough. - You know, this is so typical of you. 213 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:20,915 I don't like all the lingering after dinner. 214 00:08:20,916 --> 00:08:24,665 You had your dessert. Get... get the hell out. Come on, get out. 215 00:08:24,666 --> 00:08:27,582 All right, thank you for ruining a lovely evening. 216 00:08:27,583 --> 00:08:29,956 On the contrary, didn't ruin it. Saved it. 217 00:08:29,957 --> 00:08:32,373 - Uh-huh. Bridget, call me tomorrow. - I saved it. 218 00:08:32,374 --> 00:08:33,998 - Mwah. Cheryl, Ted. - Mwah. I'll call you. 219 00:08:33,999 --> 00:08:36,040 All right, okay, come on. Time to go, people. 220 00:08:36,041 --> 00:08:37,415 - Hey. - This is your Larry. 221 00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:39,540 - Whose is this? - Oh, I don't know. 222 00:08:39,541 --> 00:08:41,665 Maybe... maybe the Shucker left it. 223 00:08:41,666 --> 00:08:43,040 - Yeah? - Yeah. 224 00:08:43,041 --> 00:08:44,582 Man, this is cool. 225 00:08:44,583 --> 00:08:46,206 - Ooh. - You know what? 226 00:08:46,207 --> 00:08:47,415 - Ooh, Jeffrey. - Keep it. 227 00:08:47,416 --> 00:08:48,624 - Yeah? - Yeah. 228 00:08:48,625 --> 00:08:50,624 Oh, definitely keep it. I love it. 229 00:08:50,625 --> 00:08:52,707 - You do? - It looks fantastic on you. 230 00:08:52,708 --> 00:08:53,832 - Really? - Looks good. 231 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:54,874 How about that? 232 00:08:54,875 --> 00:08:57,165 Look at me. I'm the sheriff. 233 00:08:57,166 --> 00:08:59,956 Now let's go home, Sheriff. Come on. 234 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,206 - Yeah. - All right, people. 235 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,582 - Okay, yep. - Let's go. 236 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,790 - Time to go. - We're getting kicked out. 237 00:09:04,791 --> 00:09:07,123 She's showing me love and affection 238 00:09:07,124 --> 00:09:08,790 that I've never felt before. 239 00:09:08,791 --> 00:09:11,123 - 'Cause of the hat. - All 'cause of the hat. 240 00:09:11,124 --> 00:09:12,582 She listens to what I say. 241 00:09:12,583 --> 00:09:14,540 She takes suggestions. 242 00:09:14,541 --> 00:09:17,373 And all she wants to do is have sex. 243 00:09:17,374 --> 00:09:18,540 - Susie? - Yes. 244 00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:20,373 So I have to keep the hat on during sex. 245 00:09:20,374 --> 00:09:21,874 - That's her thing. - What? 246 00:09:21,875 --> 00:09:24,165 Yeah. I haven't had this much sex since college. 247 00:09:24,166 --> 00:09:26,915 - Wow. - It's almost like, you know, 248 00:09:26,916 --> 00:09:30,040 she's got a thing for cowboys from her past or something. 249 00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:32,248 She's got a real perversion, doesn't she? 250 00:09:32,249 --> 00:09:34,915 Yeah, she loves the Old West. 251 00:09:34,916 --> 00:09:36,582 Where are the women who have a bald perversion? 252 00:09:36,583 --> 00:09:38,415 I wonder if there's, like, a place they all hang out. 253 00:09:38,416 --> 00:09:39,956 You just walk in and, you know. 254 00:09:39,957 --> 00:09:41,624 I wonder if it's worth investigating. 255 00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:43,040 You wonder? 256 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,874 I would have already investigated it. 257 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:49,915 I would have... I would have blown up Google with... if I were you. 258 00:09:49,916 --> 00:09:50,956 - Hey, by the way. - Yeah? 259 00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,665 Today with... with Lin... 260 00:09:52,666 --> 00:09:55,123 - Yeah. - Okay? 261 00:09:55,124 --> 00:09:57,832 You don't think he's gonna wanna write the songs, do you? 262 00:09:57,833 --> 00:09:59,373 Hmm, I hadn't thought of that, 263 00:09:59,374 --> 00:10:00,956 but I... I don't know. 264 00:10:00,957 --> 00:10:02,206 They're my songs. I don't wanna... 265 00:10:02,207 --> 00:10:03,457 Your songs. And can I say something? 266 00:10:03,458 --> 00:10:04,665 - Yeah. - I love those songs. 267 00:10:04,666 --> 00:10:05,832 - Thank you. Thank you. - Yeah. 268 00:10:05,833 --> 00:10:07,457 Excuse me, gentlemen. 269 00:10:07,458 --> 00:10:09,582 Lin isn't here yet, but if you'd like to go upstairs 270 00:10:09,583 --> 00:10:10,790 to Aaron's office, you can. 271 00:10:10,791 --> 00:10:11,999 Oh. 272 00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:18,625 Ma'am. 273 00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:22,540 How you doing? 274 00:10:28,750 --> 00:10:30,248 - Larry! Hey. - Hey! 275 00:10:30,249 --> 00:10:32,040 Come on in, come on in. Jeff, hi. 276 00:10:32,041 --> 00:10:33,332 - How you doing, Aaron? - Aaron Warden. 277 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:34,457 - Yeah. I know you. - Nice to meet you. 278 00:10:34,458 --> 00:10:36,165 Hello, hello. Nice hat. 279 00:10:36,166 --> 00:10:38,123 - Thank you. - You're just coming back from Vegas? 280 00:10:38,124 --> 00:10:40,915 Uh, no. This is my new look. 281 00:10:40,916 --> 00:10:42,457 I like it. I like how you think. 282 00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:45,540 Lin's very excited, by the way. 283 00:10:45,541 --> 00:10:48,165 I read the play personally. Great. 284 00:10:48,166 --> 00:10:49,665 - Laughed a lot. - Really? 285 00:10:49,666 --> 00:10:51,415 - Great moments, great comedy. - Wow. 286 00:10:51,416 --> 00:10:53,081 We're really excited, seriously. 287 00:10:53,082 --> 00:10:55,415 And you think that he's interested in... in playing Salman? 288 00:10:55,416 --> 00:10:57,457 I think so. The only issue... he's so busy. 289 00:10:57,458 --> 00:11:00,040 So busy right now. You know, the world is after him. 290 00:11:00,041 --> 00:11:01,373 What's that? "Judge Judy"? 291 00:11:01,374 --> 00:11:03,415 - Oh, you like Judith? - Oh, I love Judge Judy. 292 00:11:03,416 --> 00:11:04,956 - Are you kidding? - Good. Good, good. She's my client. 293 00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:06,081 If I ever had to go to court, 294 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:07,665 I would like for her to adjudicate. 295 00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:09,332 - That's how good she is. - But she's tough. 296 00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:11,123 - I'm so sorry I'm late. - Oh, there he is! 297 00:11:11,124 --> 00:11:12,665 - Our national treasure. - Hey! Jeff. How are you? 298 00:11:12,666 --> 00:11:16,206 Jeff, Lin. Larry, Lin. Nice to see you. 299 00:11:16,207 --> 00:11:17,874 - How did it go? Good? - It was good. 300 00:11:17,875 --> 00:11:19,498 - Yeah, I think we're done. - Good. I'm excited. 301 00:11:19,499 --> 00:11:21,956 All right, I was just telling them how excited we are. 302 00:11:21,957 --> 00:11:23,415 Thank you so much for bringing this to us. 303 00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:25,081 - It's so exciting. - Oh, oh, thank... 304 00:11:25,082 --> 00:11:27,790 you know, I loved "Hamilton," needless to say. 305 00:11:27,791 --> 00:11:29,915 - I saw it with you. - Oh, great. Awesome. 306 00:11:29,916 --> 00:11:32,206 You know, I know the show's in LA right now. Everybody's loving it. 307 00:11:32,207 --> 00:11:36,207 I was wondering, would it be possible to get two tickets for my shucker? 308 00:11:38,124 --> 00:11:40,040 For your shucker? Like an oyster shucker? 309 00:11:40,041 --> 00:11:43,373 Yeah, yeah, oyster shucker. Yeah. Fantastic shucker. So fast. 310 00:11:43,374 --> 00:11:47,040 - He's your personal shucker? - No. He... he shucks for me from time to time. 311 00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:49,498 Hey, if he's important to you, sure, I'll... I'll... 312 00:11:49,499 --> 00:11:51,498 - no promises, but I'll ask. - Oh, thank you. 313 00:11:51,499 --> 00:11:52,915 - Yeah. Yeah. - Thank you so much. 314 00:11:52,916 --> 00:11:54,582 All right, I'll let you chat together, 315 00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,206 and my office is your office. 316 00:11:56,207 --> 00:11:57,998 Have a great time. I'm excited about this. 317 00:11:57,999 --> 00:11:59,749 - Great work again, Larry. - Thanks again. 318 00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,081 Thanks for letting us use the office. 319 00:12:01,082 --> 00:12:03,582 Appreciate it. Let's have a seat, guys. 320 00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:06,541 Okay, let's see. Where do you want... 321 00:12:11,583 --> 00:12:13,165 Right. 322 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:15,832 So, "Fatwa! the Musical." 323 00:12:15,833 --> 00:12:17,165 Where do you guys wanna do it? 324 00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:18,915 Well, you know, we're thinking... 325 00:12:18,916 --> 00:12:20,165 - Broadway. - Broadway. 326 00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:21,915 Broadway? All right. 327 00:12:21,916 --> 00:12:24,332 I think you're gonna wanna try it out of town first. 328 00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:26,957 You know, why not LA? I think you should do it here. 329 00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:32,749 - Okay. - Nice. 330 00:12:32,750 --> 00:12:34,248 And who do you see for a cast? 331 00:12:34,249 --> 00:12:39,165 Obviously, we'd like you to play, um, Salman. 332 00:12:39,166 --> 00:12:41,206 - Oh, "Salmon." - Salman. 333 00:12:41,207 --> 00:12:42,166 Yeah, "Salmon" Rushdie. 334 00:12:44,082 --> 00:12:45,415 "Salmon," yeah. 335 00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:48,081 And, um, Mandy Patinkin for, uh... 336 00:12:48,082 --> 00:12:50,290 - No one but Mandy Patinkin. - ...for the ayatollah. 337 00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:51,291 F. Murray Abraham. 338 00:12:53,291 --> 00:12:55,915 - Yeah. Good idea. Let's do that. - Yeah. I'm telling you. 339 00:12:55,916 --> 00:12:58,123 The "F" is for fucking awesome. 340 00:12:58,124 --> 00:12:59,582 I'm sorry. 341 00:12:59,583 --> 00:13:01,415 I'm getting a... I'm sorry, guys, this is London. 342 00:13:01,416 --> 00:13:04,457 Can I just have you guys step outside for a second? Thanks so much. 343 00:13:04,458 --> 00:13:07,123 This is really going well. Hello? 344 00:13:07,124 --> 00:13:08,498 What the hell's wrong with you? 345 00:13:08,499 --> 00:13:11,582 - You said yes to everything. - Yeah. 346 00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,708 You were so determined downstairs. What the hell happened? 347 00:13:16,875 --> 00:13:18,832 - It's the desk. - The desk? 348 00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:21,540 Yes. It's the power of the desk. He's up high, I'm down low. 349 00:13:21,541 --> 00:13:24,123 Everything he says, I say yes to. He's in the boss chair. 350 00:13:24,124 --> 00:13:26,665 - He's... he's like... it's like he's my boss. - This is not good. 351 00:13:26,666 --> 00:13:28,874 We gotta do everything we can to get him out from behind the desk. 352 00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:32,665 - Okay. - Hey, you guys can come on back in. 353 00:13:32,666 --> 00:13:34,499 Please, make yourselves comfortable. 354 00:13:39,082 --> 00:13:42,165 I got an idea. Why don't you sit over here? 355 00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:44,165 Yeah, no. I'm comfortable. Thank you so much. 356 00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:46,081 - Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm great. 357 00:13:46,082 --> 00:13:48,749 I gotta tell you, we could have a real nice, intimate discussion over here. 358 00:13:48,750 --> 00:13:50,707 You know, we'll be able to kind of really kick it around. 359 00:13:50,708 --> 00:13:52,498 Yeah, I feel like we're at a nice, wide angle. 360 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,081 This is a nice bird's-eye view of the piece. 361 00:13:54,082 --> 00:13:55,874 I gotta tell you something, I'm getting laryngitis 362 00:13:55,875 --> 00:13:57,707 screaming across the room, you're so far away. 363 00:13:57,708 --> 00:13:59,040 Well, I'm enthusiastic about it, too. 364 00:13:59,041 --> 00:14:00,790 I think we're on the same page. 365 00:14:00,791 --> 00:14:04,290 Listen, not only do I wanna play "Salmon," I wanna write the songs. 366 00:14:04,291 --> 00:14:07,749 - Yeah, but I... I've written all the songs. - Yeah. 367 00:14:07,750 --> 00:14:10,749 - That's all done. - It's a great starting point for us. 368 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,582 You know, what you've written is... it's a great bedrock. 369 00:14:12,583 --> 00:14:14,498 It's a great foundation for... for me to... 370 00:14:14,499 --> 00:14:16,040 you know, 'cause it's inspiring me so much. 371 00:14:16,041 --> 00:14:17,373 You know, let's start with the opening. 372 00:14:17,374 --> 00:14:18,624 What? The opening? 373 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,457 Come on, the opening's terrific as is. 374 00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:22,123 ♪ There's a fatwa, there's a fatwa ♪ 375 00:14:22,124 --> 00:14:24,081 ♪ Gotta run, I think I oughta, gotta hide ♪ 376 00:14:24,082 --> 00:14:26,749 - ♪ I think I gotta... ♪ - ♪ Got a pinspotta ♪ 377 00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:28,707 - There... there's more. I'm not done... - Yeah, there's more. 378 00:14:28,708 --> 00:14:30,582 ♪ Pinspotta on our hero ♪ 379 00:14:30,583 --> 00:14:32,206 ♪ All alone, blood clotta ♪ 380 00:14:32,207 --> 00:14:34,290 ♪ A fatwa, un, deux, trois, caught ♪ 381 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,998 ♪ Why am I in the middle of this? ♪ 382 00:14:35,999 --> 00:14:38,081 ♪ I'm Biggie and 'Pac, who shot ya? ♪ 383 00:14:38,082 --> 00:14:40,707 ♪ I'm at the top of the rock and I'm hotter than guac ♪ 384 00:14:40,708 --> 00:14:43,081 ♪ What's going on? I gotta stop ya ♪ 385 00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:44,540 ♪ Can I... ♪ Where are you going? 386 00:14:44,541 --> 00:14:47,248 No, I was just checking out the whole area here. 387 00:14:47,249 --> 00:14:48,998 No, have a seat. I'm not done. 388 00:14:48,999 --> 00:14:50,081 Oh, okay... okay. 389 00:14:50,082 --> 00:14:51,165 Yeah. No, have a seat over here. 390 00:14:51,166 --> 00:14:52,457 Yeah, right where you were. 391 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,081 Have a seat. Make yourself comfortable. 392 00:14:54,082 --> 00:14:57,332 We're in a flow right now. You're doing great. 393 00:14:57,333 --> 00:14:58,915 Listen, I feel like I have a lot of ideas 394 00:14:58,916 --> 00:15:00,582 and maybe we should call another meeting 395 00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:02,498 where I can really download everything that's in my head, 396 00:15:02,499 --> 00:15:03,956 'cause I'm just scratching the surface here. 397 00:15:03,957 --> 00:15:05,832 I love what we've all come up with together, 398 00:15:05,833 --> 00:15:07,081 so let's have another meeting 399 00:15:07,082 --> 00:15:08,708 in a couple weeks to keep working. 400 00:15:10,625 --> 00:15:12,081 Okay. 401 00:15:12,082 --> 00:15:13,749 Great. 402 00:15:13,750 --> 00:15:16,540 I have a couple of calls to make to the West End before it closes. 403 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,123 Yeah, all right, give me the room. Thanks. 404 00:15:18,124 --> 00:15:19,332 - This is just the beginning. - Yeah. 405 00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:20,540 - Awesome. - See you. 406 00:15:20,541 --> 00:15:21,791 - Thank you. - Okay, thank you. 407 00:15:26,374 --> 00:15:28,832 Ugh, how can you eat that thing, Riggs? 408 00:15:28,833 --> 00:15:30,956 Hey, it's breakfast, the most important meal of the day. 409 00:15:30,957 --> 00:15:32,874 What's the name of this show? 410 00:15:32,875 --> 00:15:35,832 - "Chicago Homicide." - Oh, my God, you poor kid. 411 00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:37,624 It's not that bad. 412 00:15:37,625 --> 00:15:39,874 - People love it. - Two bullet wounds to the chest... 413 00:15:39,875 --> 00:15:41,415 - People love this? - Mm-hmm. 414 00:15:41,416 --> 00:15:43,332 People will watch anything with "Chicago" in the title. 415 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:44,956 - It's been proven. - Yeah. 416 00:15:44,957 --> 00:15:48,123 Yeah. 417 00:15:48,124 --> 00:15:50,332 Ow. Could this couch be any more uncomfortable? 418 00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:53,874 - You could have a new couch. - And that's gonna require people... 419 00:15:53,875 --> 00:15:55,457 - Oh, that's annoying. - ...lugging something 420 00:15:55,458 --> 00:15:57,457 up the stairs, lugging this out. 421 00:15:57,458 --> 00:15:59,665 I can't stand to see people doing manual labor in front of me. 422 00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:03,332 - Movers in particular. - Right. Right. 423 00:16:03,333 --> 00:16:05,123 - Wow. - A piano. 424 00:16:05,124 --> 00:16:06,874 - Nightmare. Tears. - Oh, my God. 425 00:16:06,875 --> 00:16:08,540 I wouldn't get a piano just because 426 00:16:08,541 --> 00:16:10,957 I wouldn't want them to move the piano into my house. 427 00:16:14,291 --> 00:16:16,832 - That's so stupid. - It is, but it's true. 428 00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:20,165 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 429 00:16:20,166 --> 00:16:22,790 Interesting, the things I'm learning. 430 00:16:22,791 --> 00:16:24,665 Just like talking to all your friends the other night. 431 00:16:24,666 --> 00:16:27,207 They were so, uh, nice. That was fun. 432 00:16:28,833 --> 00:16:30,749 - Yeah, it was fun. - Mmm. 433 00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:33,332 Except maybe... 434 00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:37,332 at the end when you were talking about those guys. 435 00:16:37,333 --> 00:16:40,582 Susie loves those stories. 436 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,998 - I don't know why. - Yeah. 437 00:16:42,999 --> 00:16:45,707 I guess I kept thinking... 438 00:16:45,708 --> 00:16:49,749 what if... what if that was me she was talking about? 439 00:16:51,249 --> 00:16:53,165 Well, I won't talk about you, Larry. Don't worry. 440 00:16:53,166 --> 00:16:56,332 Is there anything you've observed thus far or noticed 441 00:16:56,333 --> 00:17:00,540 that you might wanna talk about at a dinner party? 442 00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:04,874 No. Everything's completely just regular. 443 00:17:04,875 --> 00:17:07,915 They're too much trouble. I'm officially done dating. 444 00:17:07,916 --> 00:17:10,498 - "Regular." - If I get lonely, I'll just rent a penis. 445 00:17:10,499 --> 00:17:15,540 Ah! That is a... an unapproved "penis." 446 00:17:15,541 --> 00:17:18,415 I'm so sorry, I gotta call this in before they... 447 00:17:18,416 --> 00:17:19,956 It's Bridget for Bill. 448 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,415 No, he knows why I'm calling. 449 00:17:23,416 --> 00:17:25,290 You hear something? 450 00:17:25,291 --> 00:17:27,248 Sorry, I didn't... I... 451 00:17:27,249 --> 00:17:28,373 Yeah. 452 00:17:28,374 --> 00:17:31,582 No, tell him I'm holding for him. 453 00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:33,248 Don't let him get away. 454 00:17:33,249 --> 00:17:36,749 - You're so thirsty. - Oh, my... what? 455 00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:39,415 What?! What are you doing here? 456 00:17:39,416 --> 00:17:42,582 Well, obviously, I'm keeping this plant alive. 457 00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:45,040 - It's dying here. - How did you get in here? 458 00:17:45,041 --> 00:17:48,457 I have my own keys. You forgot to change the locks. 459 00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:51,707 Okay, I want that key back, okay? And you need to go. 460 00:17:51,708 --> 00:17:53,081 This is not a college dormitory 461 00:17:53,082 --> 00:17:54,248 where you can visit years later 462 00:17:54,249 --> 00:17:55,582 and catch up on things. 463 00:17:55,583 --> 00:17:57,415 We don't have alumni weekends, okay? 464 00:17:57,416 --> 00:17:59,248 I never should have sold this house to you. 465 00:17:59,249 --> 00:18:02,206 You're destroying it and you're certainly destroying this plant. 466 00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:04,248 Okay, you listen to me, Shapiro, all right? 467 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,832 - Get out! - All right. 468 00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:07,498 It's not your house! It's my house! 469 00:18:07,499 --> 00:18:09,332 I live here, not you! 470 00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:11,540 What a fucking psycho. 471 00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:16,540 Fuck me, Tex! 472 00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:24,373 You know how she got in? She used her key. 473 00:18:24,374 --> 00:18:26,582 - You didn't change the locks? - I never changed the locks. 474 00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:27,666 So crazy. 475 00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:31,832 - Speaking of crazy. - Yeah, I know. 476 00:18:31,833 --> 00:18:35,123 - I mean, what the fuck? - It is the new me. I am all in. 477 00:18:35,124 --> 00:18:37,624 - The boots, too? - The boots, too. 478 00:18:37,625 --> 00:18:39,165 I'm going for the whole thing. 479 00:18:39,166 --> 00:18:41,248 Women love it. They go nuts. 480 00:18:41,249 --> 00:18:43,707 The only downside is I gotta keep fucking my wife. 481 00:18:43,708 --> 00:18:45,624 - Sick of it? - Oh, so sick of it. 482 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:49,373 Yeah. Hey, we gotta talk about this... this meeting with Lin. 483 00:18:49,374 --> 00:18:52,415 - Yeah. - I gotta sit behind the desk today. 484 00:18:52,416 --> 00:18:54,707 - Oh, yeah. - Change the whole dynamic. 485 00:18:54,708 --> 00:18:57,206 Well, you just don't wanna piss him off, that's all I can say. 486 00:18:57,207 --> 00:19:00,373 I'm not gonna piss him off, but, you know, I need... I need... 487 00:19:00,374 --> 00:19:02,749 to wrest creative control from him somehow. 488 00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:05,541 He's taking over the whole goddamn thing. 489 00:19:07,916 --> 00:19:09,790 Did... did you... 490 00:19:09,791 --> 00:19:12,790 - Did you overhear what I... - Yes, I did. 491 00:19:12,791 --> 00:19:17,333 I hope you'll exercise some receptionist discretion... 492 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:21,707 Just gotta keep it down. 493 00:19:21,708 --> 00:19:23,707 Everybody's got such a big mouth. 494 00:19:23,708 --> 00:19:24,508 Yeah. 495 00:19:24,509 --> 00:19:26,457 Nobody can hear anything and keep it to themselves. 496 00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:30,332 - Hey! - Oh, look at you. 497 00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:31,540 - Nice. - Yeah. 498 00:19:31,541 --> 00:19:32,874 Yeah, you can pull that off. 499 00:19:32,875 --> 00:19:34,582 - You're with this agency? - Yeah. 500 00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:36,248 Yeah, I don't know why I bother, though. 501 00:19:36,249 --> 00:19:37,624 Yeah, it's enough with the acting already. 502 00:19:37,625 --> 00:19:39,707 How long do you have to do it for? 503 00:19:39,708 --> 00:19:43,040 - Why don't you quit? Huh? - Nah, I got a few more parts in me, come on. 504 00:19:43,041 --> 00:19:45,373 Every time I turn on the television, I have to see you. 505 00:19:45,374 --> 00:19:47,373 It's enough. Retire. Why don't you retire? 506 00:19:47,374 --> 00:19:49,540 - Yeah. Maybe I... - Huh? 507 00:19:49,541 --> 00:19:51,206 We gonna see you this weekend? 508 00:19:51,207 --> 00:19:53,540 Uh, no, actually, I... I'm not... 509 00:19:53,541 --> 00:19:55,707 Cheryl and I are going up to Tahoe. 510 00:19:55,708 --> 00:19:58,540 - Oh, we... we went there once. - Yeah, I know. 511 00:19:58,541 --> 00:20:01,123 She, uh... she told me. 512 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,540 Something funny happen in Tahoe? 513 00:20:11,541 --> 00:20:14,123 No. Uh-uh. 514 00:20:14,124 --> 00:20:16,707 - Something weird? - No. Nope. 515 00:20:16,708 --> 00:20:19,415 - I think something happened in Tahoe. - Nothing happened in Tahoe. 516 00:20:19,416 --> 00:20:22,749 - What happened in Tahoe? - Nothing happened in Tahoe, Jeff, okay? 517 00:20:22,750 --> 00:20:24,874 Can you look at me and tell me nothing happened in Tahoe? 518 00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:26,832 - Nothing happened in Tahoe! - Something happened in Tahoe! 519 00:20:26,833 --> 00:20:28,915 - Nothing happened! - Trust me, something happened. 520 00:20:28,916 --> 00:20:30,749 - Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late. - Oh! Hey. 521 00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:32,248 - Great to see you. - Good to see you. 522 00:20:32,249 --> 00:20:33,248 Oh, great to see this. 523 00:20:33,249 --> 00:20:35,248 This is developing. I like it. 524 00:20:35,249 --> 00:20:37,123 It's working really well. Keep workshopping. It's great. 525 00:20:37,124 --> 00:20:39,498 - Hey, did you get the tickets for the shucker? - Oh, I asked. 526 00:20:39,499 --> 00:20:40,956 They weren't... they weren't able to do it. 527 00:20:40,957 --> 00:20:43,749 - I'm sorry. - They? Who's they? 528 00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:44,874 Yeah, well, you know, I mean, 529 00:20:44,875 --> 00:20:46,832 if it were for you... no problem. 530 00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:48,915 You'd go as my guest. It's my pleasure. 531 00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:53,415 But a shucker you met once who's good at shucking... 532 00:20:53,416 --> 00:20:55,915 Well, he's not just good at shucking; he's great at shucking. 533 00:20:55,916 --> 00:20:58,206 Again, for you, no problem. In a second. 534 00:20:58,207 --> 00:21:01,291 Anytime you wanna go, please let me know. 535 00:21:03,833 --> 00:21:06,040 Okay. Yeah, okay, I'll go. 536 00:21:06,041 --> 00:21:08,415 I'll... I'll take the tickets. 537 00:21:08,416 --> 00:21:10,457 - You'll take them? - Yeah. 538 00:21:10,458 --> 00:21:13,790 - For the same day that the shucker was... - Yeah. 539 00:21:13,791 --> 00:21:15,290 - Now they're for you? - Yeah. 540 00:21:15,291 --> 00:21:16,499 You'll be there at the show? 541 00:21:18,166 --> 00:21:19,749 Yeah. Yeah. 542 00:21:19,750 --> 00:21:20,956 Are you sure? 543 00:21:20,957 --> 00:21:22,332 Yeah. 544 00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:24,081 Are you really sure? 545 00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:25,916 I'm really sure. 546 00:21:40,207 --> 00:21:43,373 - Okay. - Gentlemen, Aaron just left the office. 547 00:21:43,374 --> 00:21:44,624 You can have it for your meeting. 548 00:21:44,625 --> 00:21:46,875 - Let's go to work. - Great. 549 00:21:48,957 --> 00:21:50,999 I gotta get that desk. 550 00:21:52,333 --> 00:21:54,998 So, um, how do you like LA? 551 00:21:54,999 --> 00:21:56,790 I like it okay. Getting used to driving. 552 00:21:56,791 --> 00:21:59,998 - Yeah. Oh, d... you drive? - Yeah. 553 00:21:59,999 --> 00:22:01,665 You... do you have a car in New York? 554 00:22:01,666 --> 00:22:03,624 No, not in New York, but I have one here I've been renting. 555 00:22:03,625 --> 00:22:05,040 - It's pretty great. - Uh-huh. 556 00:22:05,041 --> 00:22:06,665 Yeah, I'm getting used to the traffic. 557 00:22:06,666 --> 00:22:08,040 Yeah. How come you don't have a car in New York? 558 00:22:08,041 --> 00:22:09,498 Oh, you don't need one with the subway. 559 00:22:09,499 --> 00:22:11,749 I know. I wish they'd get some kind of... 560 00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:14,123 You know, I pretty much take the train... 561 00:22:24,374 --> 00:22:25,582 "Fatwa!" 562 00:22:25,583 --> 00:22:28,416 "...the Musical." 563 00:22:33,625 --> 00:22:35,206 Yeah, have a seat, guys. 564 00:22:35,207 --> 00:22:37,165 I had a couple of questions about act two 565 00:22:37,166 --> 00:22:39,373 and a couple of ideas that I think are really gonna help us. 566 00:22:39,374 --> 00:22:41,707 You know, there's always a bit of a drag in the middle of act two 567 00:22:41,708 --> 00:22:44,624 and I think we can attack that in a really innovative way. 568 00:22:44,625 --> 00:22:47,832 - Do you have a pad and a pen? - Yeah, sure. 569 00:22:47,833 --> 00:22:50,040 I'll have, uh, Lucy get that for you. 570 00:22:50,041 --> 00:22:51,790 Lucy? 571 00:22:51,791 --> 00:22:53,373 Come on, Larry. Spit that shit out. 572 00:22:53,374 --> 00:22:54,790 What happened in Tahoe? 573 00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:58,248 Listen, you can ask as many questions as you want. 574 00:22:58,249 --> 00:23:01,998 You are not going to find out from me what happened in Tahoe. 575 00:23:01,999 --> 00:23:06,081 If you really wanted to find out, go ask Ted Danson. 576 00:23:06,082 --> 00:23:07,665 Okay? Let me tell you something. 577 00:23:07,666 --> 00:23:09,290 There's just no discretion anymore. 578 00:23:09,291 --> 00:23:11,956 I had to give that fucking shucker two tickets to "Hamilton." 579 00:23:11,957 --> 00:23:13,582 Who knows if he's gonna keep his trap shut? 580 00:23:13,583 --> 00:23:16,498 - Yeah. - Yeah, and by the way, 581 00:23:16,499 --> 00:23:18,707 you were at the table the other night. 582 00:23:18,708 --> 00:23:20,956 Bridget... you heard that, what she was going on about. 583 00:23:20,957 --> 00:23:23,206 - That's some good-ass dick stories, man. - Horrifying. 584 00:23:23,207 --> 00:23:24,956 She could be talking that way about me. 585 00:23:24,957 --> 00:23:26,582 If you're so goddamn worried about it, 586 00:23:26,583 --> 00:23:28,540 make her sign an agreement that she won't fucking talk. 587 00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:30,248 What do you mean, like a nondisclosure agreement? 588 00:23:30,249 --> 00:23:32,415 Fucking non-disclosure. Make her sign that shit. 589 00:23:32,416 --> 00:23:34,415 You know, they have it for housekeepers. 590 00:23:34,416 --> 00:23:36,248 You know, then... so they can't talk about it. 591 00:23:36,249 --> 00:23:37,624 They should have that for sex. 592 00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:39,290 They should have it for sex, but they don't have it for sex. 593 00:23:39,291 --> 00:23:41,206 People don't sign "fuck documents." 594 00:23:41,207 --> 00:23:43,165 If you nervous about your johnson... 595 00:23:43,166 --> 00:23:44,666 ...make her sign some shit. 596 00:23:52,458 --> 00:23:54,457 - Take it. - Huh? 597 00:23:54,458 --> 00:23:56,749 I'm done. 598 00:23:56,750 --> 00:24:00,540 - You all right? - No, I'm not. I'm not all right. 599 00:24:00,541 --> 00:24:01,915 - Oh, Jesus. - Can we sit down? 600 00:24:01,916 --> 00:24:04,291 - Yeah, yeah. Come in here. - All right. 601 00:24:06,916 --> 00:24:08,707 Susie sprained my dick. 602 00:24:08,708 --> 00:24:09,708 What? 603 00:24:09,709 --> 00:24:12,998 Wearing that hat has been nothing but a curse for me. 604 00:24:12,999 --> 00:24:15,624 She took my dick to places it wasn't meant to go. 605 00:24:15,625 --> 00:24:17,998 So far to the right, so far to the left. 606 00:24:17,999 --> 00:24:20,582 - Back and forth. - You need a dick chiropractor. 607 00:24:20,583 --> 00:24:22,498 - Dick chiropractor? There's dick chiropractors? - Yeah. 608 00:24:22,499 --> 00:24:23,956 - Of course there are. - Really? 609 00:24:23,957 --> 00:24:25,332 You know how many times I fucked my dick up? 610 00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:27,081 - Several times. - Oh, it's just... 611 00:24:27,082 --> 00:24:29,498 it's the worst thing I've ever experienced. 612 00:24:29,499 --> 00:24:30,998 I'm taking these. I'm popping these. 613 00:24:30,999 --> 00:24:32,832 This just cuts the pain. 614 00:24:32,833 --> 00:24:34,998 - Do you have any extra? - Yeah, sure. 615 00:24:34,999 --> 00:24:37,332 - Lin-Manuel landed on my shoulder. - I remember. 616 00:24:37,333 --> 00:24:39,332 - I'm in terrible pain. - Yeah, I remember. 617 00:24:39,333 --> 00:24:40,498 - But be careful. - Thank you. 618 00:24:40,499 --> 00:24:41,749 Those are really strong. 619 00:24:41,750 --> 00:24:43,165 Take them only if you need them. 620 00:24:43,166 --> 00:24:44,332 - Okay. Okay. - Okay? 621 00:24:44,333 --> 00:24:45,624 Hey! Great news. 622 00:24:45,625 --> 00:24:47,582 I've been so focused on my dick, 623 00:24:47,583 --> 00:24:49,248 I forgot to tell you the good news. 624 00:24:49,249 --> 00:24:52,081 The good news is I talked to his agent. 625 00:24:52,082 --> 00:24:54,790 Lin-Manuel Miranda is in. 626 00:24:54,791 --> 00:24:57,373 - Oh! Wow, yeah. Hey. Great. - Yeah! Yeah! 627 00:24:57,374 --> 00:24:59,540 - Yeah! Yeah! - Yeah, all right. 628 00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:01,956 - I'm not surprised. - I told you, I said it was a sure thing. 629 00:25:01,957 --> 00:25:04,206 He's getting everything he wants. Why shouldn't he be in? 630 00:25:04,207 --> 00:25:08,123 I got Funkhouser invested. I got Lewis invested. 631 00:25:08,124 --> 00:25:10,540 Of course, I'm still invested. 632 00:25:10,541 --> 00:25:11,874 - Oh, yeah! - Wow. 633 00:25:11,875 --> 00:25:13,373 - Huh? What do you think? - Oh, yeah! 634 00:25:13,374 --> 00:25:15,040 - Wow. Fab. - You like it? 635 00:25:15,041 --> 00:25:17,206 - I gotta check it out in the mirror. - Check it out. 636 00:25:17,207 --> 00:25:19,874 He looks like a smart sheriff who's also a doctor. 637 00:25:19,875 --> 00:25:22,248 He'll shoot you, then he'll stitch your ass up. 638 00:25:22,249 --> 00:25:24,041 Oh, my God! 639 00:25:25,499 --> 00:25:28,540 She took the plant! 640 00:25:28,541 --> 00:25:31,790 - Fuck! - Mrs. Shapiro took the plant! 641 00:25:31,791 --> 00:25:35,665 - That's fucked up. - Oh, my God, that is insane! 642 00:25:35,666 --> 00:25:37,373 She didn't put her old-ass foot on the door, 643 00:25:37,374 --> 00:25:38,832 but that's still a home invasion. 644 00:25:38,833 --> 00:25:40,373 Yeah. No, I know what it is, 645 00:25:40,374 --> 00:25:42,707 but, I mean, she is... you know, she's mental. 646 00:25:42,708 --> 00:25:44,998 - She's out of her mind. - She didn't have to steal. 647 00:25:44,999 --> 00:25:47,416 A home invasion's a fucking home invasion, you know? 648 00:25:50,249 --> 00:25:51,457 That's a home invasion. 649 00:25:51,458 --> 00:25:53,415 She came in your house without permission. 650 00:25:53,416 --> 00:25:55,540 You... you better get rid of the do-rag. 651 00:25:55,541 --> 00:25:57,874 Black man showing up at her door with a do-rag? 652 00:25:57,875 --> 00:26:00,081 - She'll have a heart attack. - She'll be fine. 653 00:26:00,082 --> 00:26:03,081 It's in the same family as a scarf, as a ascot, as a pocket square. 654 00:26:03,082 --> 00:26:04,582 - Same fucking family. - I don't think 655 00:26:04,583 --> 00:26:06,457 that's in the scarf, ascot, pocket square family. 656 00:26:06,458 --> 00:26:08,081 The same goddamn family. Are you kidding me? 657 00:26:08,082 --> 00:26:10,248 I don't like the optics. 658 00:26:10,249 --> 00:26:12,874 She's gonna be fine. I promise you, man. 659 00:26:12,875 --> 00:26:15,582 Fuck that. Knock on that shit aggressively. 660 00:26:15,583 --> 00:26:17,498 The hell you give a fuck about... this some bullshit. 661 00:26:17,499 --> 00:26:19,790 Oh! What are you doing here? Two of you? 662 00:26:19,791 --> 00:26:22,373 - Hey! My plant. - Wait... wait a minute. 663 00:26:22,374 --> 00:26:24,206 That's not your plant. 664 00:26:24,207 --> 00:26:25,373 - Yeah. - That's my plant. 665 00:26:25,374 --> 00:26:27,081 Oh, no, it's not your plant. 666 00:26:27,082 --> 00:26:29,373 You came to my house and you stole my plant. Come on. 667 00:26:29,374 --> 00:26:30,665 I'm saving this plant. 668 00:26:30,666 --> 00:26:32,373 I'm letting it live and flourish. 669 00:26:32,374 --> 00:26:34,290 - You were letting it die. - Oh, come on. 670 00:26:34,291 --> 00:26:35,665 Don't give us that green thumb shit. 671 00:26:35,666 --> 00:26:36,874 Oh! 672 00:26:36,875 --> 00:26:38,582 See, my dog doesn't like you at all. 673 00:26:38,583 --> 00:26:40,624 Bella will bite you on the ankles. 674 00:26:40,625 --> 00:26:43,081 I'll tell you what. We're gonna take that dog or this plant. 675 00:26:43,082 --> 00:26:45,165 Oh, no, you're not taking my dog. 676 00:26:45,166 --> 00:26:46,874 - You're not touching my dog. - What? No, you're not taking the dog. 677 00:26:46,875 --> 00:26:48,332 - Why not? - You think I want that dog in my house? 678 00:26:48,333 --> 00:26:49,790 - I take the dog... - What? 679 00:26:49,791 --> 00:26:51,332 - What are you, crazy? - Why not? 680 00:26:51,333 --> 00:26:53,707 - Who's gonna walk it? - We'll take turns. 681 00:26:53,708 --> 00:26:55,165 I'm not taking turns. 682 00:26:55,166 --> 00:26:57,040 I'm not walking the dog. You gonna pick up its shit? 683 00:26:57,041 --> 00:26:58,832 - I'll take care of it. - You'll take care of it? 684 00:26:58,833 --> 00:27:00,832 Yeah, that's what 8-year-olds say when they wanna get a dog. 685 00:27:00,833 --> 00:27:02,790 "I'll take care of it." And they don't do a goddamn thing. 686 00:27:02,791 --> 00:27:04,498 See, you guys can't even make up your minds 687 00:27:04,499 --> 00:27:06,790 what you're gonna do, so why don't you just leave? 688 00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:08,123 Wait, who's that? 689 00:27:08,124 --> 00:27:10,540 That's Myron, my dearly departed husband. 690 00:27:10,541 --> 00:27:12,540 You know what? Let's take his hat. 691 00:27:12,541 --> 00:27:14,165 No, you're not taking his hat. 692 00:27:14,166 --> 00:27:16,332 No, take the whole goddamn head. Take the whole fucking head. 693 00:27:16,333 --> 00:27:18,498 - The head? The whole head? - The whole goddamn head. 694 00:27:18,499 --> 00:27:20,698 - You think I want that head in my house? - I don't want the fucking hat. 695 00:27:20,699 --> 00:27:21,889 The hat is dumb as hell. 696 00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:23,290 I'm... big shot, I'd rather have the hat than the head. 697 00:27:23,291 --> 00:27:25,998 I'm not gonna take the head. I don't want that monstrosity in my house. 698 00:27:25,999 --> 00:27:27,582 He's a lot better looking than you. 699 00:27:27,583 --> 00:27:29,206 - Oh, is that so? - Mm-hmm. 700 00:27:29,207 --> 00:27:31,915 - I'm an Uber four, okay? - Well, Myron was an Uber five. 701 00:27:31,916 --> 00:27:34,499 He's not a five. 702 00:27:36,416 --> 00:27:37,790 - Hey. - Let's get the fuck out of here. 703 00:27:37,791 --> 00:27:39,415 Okay, you know what? 704 00:27:39,416 --> 00:27:41,165 You haven't heard the last of me about this, all right? 705 00:27:41,166 --> 00:27:43,081 Don't go into people's homes and steal their plants. 706 00:27:43,082 --> 00:27:46,166 - I'll see you in court. - The hell you will! 707 00:27:49,082 --> 00:27:51,457 Hello? 708 00:27:51,458 --> 00:27:54,624 - Hi, Larry. It's Lin Miranda. - Oh, hey. 709 00:27:54,625 --> 00:27:57,081 I'm sure you heard it from... from Jeff already, but I'm in. 710 00:27:57,082 --> 00:27:59,206 - That's great news. - I'm clearing my schedule. 711 00:27:59,207 --> 00:28:02,040 It's gonna be you and me writing this thing toe to tip. 712 00:28:02,041 --> 00:28:03,874 You know what, Lin, I think we're in pretty good shape. 713 00:28:03,875 --> 00:28:05,874 We don't need to get into the weeds on this thing. 714 00:28:05,875 --> 00:28:09,040 - The weeds are where the good stuff is. - Very dangerous in the weeds. 715 00:28:09,041 --> 00:28:11,206 You can get Lyme disease in there if you're not careful. 716 00:28:11,207 --> 00:28:13,665 There's treasure in the weeds and we'll pick for ticks after. 717 00:28:13,666 --> 00:28:16,373 The verses are gonna be satanic. 718 00:28:16,374 --> 00:28:19,373 - Okay. - Well, the other piece of good news 719 00:28:19,374 --> 00:28:20,915 is that my wife, Vanessa, and her friend 720 00:28:20,916 --> 00:28:22,874 are gonna be at "Hamilton" the same night as you. 721 00:28:22,875 --> 00:28:23,875 Oh. 722 00:28:23,876 --> 00:28:25,915 So, she'll be sitting right next to you at the show. 723 00:28:25,916 --> 00:28:27,582 She's going? 724 00:28:27,583 --> 00:28:29,332 Yeah, she's using the other half of my house seats, 725 00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:31,415 so you'll be right next to her. 726 00:28:31,416 --> 00:28:35,415 And, I mean, she's gonna see you 'cause you're going. 727 00:28:35,416 --> 00:28:36,998 Oh, yeah. 728 00:28:36,999 --> 00:28:38,624 Yeah, well, if she's going, 729 00:28:38,625 --> 00:28:41,040 she'll see me because I'm going. 730 00:28:41,041 --> 00:28:43,165 Of course. The ticket's for you. 731 00:28:43,166 --> 00:28:45,040 Yes, you got the ticket for me 732 00:28:45,041 --> 00:28:47,081 and... and I will use the ticket you got for me, 733 00:28:47,082 --> 00:28:49,248 and as a result, I... I will be there. 734 00:28:49,249 --> 00:28:50,915 I'm really excited for you guys to meet. 735 00:28:50,916 --> 00:28:53,081 "Fatwa!" See you in the weeds, buddy. 736 00:28:55,625 --> 00:28:58,041 Ah, Shucker. 737 00:29:08,916 --> 00:29:10,624 No, I'll be right there. I'll be right there. 738 00:29:10,625 --> 00:29:12,832 Oh, hi. 739 00:29:12,833 --> 00:29:15,040 What's going on here? 740 00:29:15,041 --> 00:29:17,248 Oh, it's just a little party. 741 00:29:17,249 --> 00:29:19,790 - How come I wasn't invited? - To the party? 742 00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:21,790 Yeah, why wasn't I invited? 743 00:29:21,791 --> 00:29:23,290 You just had dinner at my house. 744 00:29:23,291 --> 00:29:25,582 I know. That was so nice and we had a great time. 745 00:29:25,583 --> 00:29:27,749 Okay, so how come you're not inviting me? 746 00:29:27,750 --> 00:29:29,956 Where's the reciprocity? 747 00:29:29,957 --> 00:29:32,540 Well, I'm gonna reciprocate, but not this one. 748 00:29:32,541 --> 00:29:35,790 You're gonna reciprocate? This was the opportunity to reciprocate. 749 00:29:35,791 --> 00:29:38,123 Come to the party! I want you to come in and really warm it up. 750 00:29:38,124 --> 00:29:40,165 I don't wanna go... I don't wanna go to the party. 751 00:29:40,166 --> 00:29:42,707 - Now you have to go. - I wouldn't have come even if I was invited. 752 00:29:42,708 --> 00:29:46,123 - Then what are you doing here? - What did you tell Ted about Tahoe? 753 00:29:46,424 --> 00:29:47,424 Tahoe? 754 00:29:47,425 --> 00:29:50,790 Because, um, he told me that you two were going to Tahoe. 755 00:29:50,791 --> 00:29:53,498 - We are going to Tahoe. - And I said we had been there. 756 00:29:53,499 --> 00:29:54,099 Right. 757 00:29:54,100 --> 00:29:57,165 And he said, "Yeah, I know," and he snickered, okay? 758 00:29:57,166 --> 00:30:00,332 Leading me to believe that you discussed it with him. 759 00:30:00,333 --> 00:30:02,081 No offense to you, 760 00:30:02,082 --> 00:30:04,540 but Ted and I don't need to sit around 761 00:30:04,541 --> 00:30:06,956 talking about what you and I did in hotel rooms. 762 00:30:06,957 --> 00:30:08,998 I just don't understand why you're talking Tahoe to Ted. 763 00:30:08,999 --> 00:30:11,582 - I wasn't talking Tahoe to Ted. - No, you did talk Tahoe to Ted. 764 00:30:11,583 --> 00:30:13,498 Otherwise there'd be no reason for Ted to talk Tahoe. 765 00:30:13,499 --> 00:30:16,290 - What did he say? - He... he said you two were going. 766 00:30:16,291 --> 00:30:19,165 So what? That is not talking Tahoe. 767 00:30:19,166 --> 00:30:21,832 That is mentioning a trip that's about to happen. 768 00:30:21,833 --> 00:30:23,749 - Is he here? - No, he's shooting. 769 00:30:23,750 --> 00:30:25,915 More shooting? Another job? 770 00:30:25,916 --> 00:30:28,290 When's it gonna end? 771 00:30:28,291 --> 00:30:31,665 Who's that? Is that the Shucker? 772 00:30:31,666 --> 00:30:33,915 Oh, yeah. That's the Shucker from your party. 773 00:30:33,916 --> 00:30:35,666 Ah, I gotta talk to him. 774 00:30:41,374 --> 00:30:43,665 - Hey, there he is. - Hey. Yeah. 775 00:30:43,666 --> 00:30:45,874 I just wanna thank you for those "Hamilton" tickets. 776 00:30:45,875 --> 00:30:48,457 I cannot wait. Over the moon. 777 00:30:48,458 --> 00:30:51,874 Um, guess what. I got your hat. 778 00:30:51,875 --> 00:30:54,707 Oh, thank God, because I've been sick without my hat. 779 00:30:54,708 --> 00:30:56,582 - Where is it? - Yeah, it's... it's in my car. 780 00:30:56,583 --> 00:30:58,790 So, um, if you can get a little break, 781 00:30:58,791 --> 00:31:00,506 we can go take a walk, and I'll give it to you. 782 00:31:00,507 --> 00:31:01,707 Sure, that'd be great. 783 00:31:01,708 --> 00:31:05,290 And, uh, I got another little thing I wanna talk to you about. 784 00:31:05,291 --> 00:31:08,040 Ted is shooting a limited series in Vancouver. 785 00:31:08,041 --> 00:31:10,373 I'm borrowing your Shucker for two minutes. 786 00:31:10,374 --> 00:31:12,373 Ma'am. 787 00:31:12,374 --> 00:31:13,790 There it is. 788 00:31:13,791 --> 00:31:18,081 - Oh, baby. - Oh, fuck. 789 00:31:18,082 --> 00:31:20,332 Come to Papa. 790 00:31:20,333 --> 00:31:23,874 Oh, I have missed you. 791 00:31:23,875 --> 00:31:25,582 Well, got my hat. 792 00:31:25,583 --> 00:31:27,415 Thanks again for those tickets. 793 00:31:27,416 --> 00:31:29,790 Yeah, that's kind of what I wanna talk to you about. 794 00:31:29,791 --> 00:31:31,540 Um, Lin called me up, 795 00:31:31,541 --> 00:31:34,790 told me his wife was gonna be sitting next to me. 796 00:31:34,791 --> 00:31:38,665 He thinks the tickets are for me, and so I have to go now. 797 00:31:38,666 --> 00:31:42,457 So, I need... sorry to say, I need the tickets back. 798 00:31:42,458 --> 00:31:45,707 Well, what do you mean? That's... that's like a... that's like a bad horse trade. 799 00:31:45,708 --> 00:31:49,290 - What are you talking about? - How are you gonna show up and sit there? 800 00:31:49,291 --> 00:31:50,915 Because if she sees you there, 801 00:31:50,916 --> 00:31:52,875 I am gonna be in a lot of trouble. 802 00:31:54,916 --> 00:31:56,582 - All right. - Come on. 803 00:31:56,583 --> 00:31:59,624 - All right, I'll get you your tickets. - Yeah? 804 00:31:59,625 --> 00:32:02,290 For $2,500. 805 00:32:02,291 --> 00:32:03,666 Take it or leave it. 806 00:32:06,041 --> 00:32:08,290 You're quite a prick, aren't you? 807 00:32:08,291 --> 00:32:09,791 It's the Shucker's way. 808 00:32:11,791 --> 00:32:13,749 I don't have that kind of cash on me. 809 00:32:13,750 --> 00:32:17,624 It's okay, e take credit cards. 810 00:32:17,625 --> 00:32:19,249 Yeah. 811 00:32:23,333 --> 00:32:24,624 Thank you. 812 00:32:24,625 --> 00:32:26,123 Jarvis isn't living up 813 00:32:26,124 --> 00:32:27,165 to his potential. 814 00:32:27,166 --> 00:32:28,624 What's on? 815 00:32:28,625 --> 00:32:30,123 "Chicago Teachers." 816 00:32:30,124 --> 00:32:31,290 - No! - Yeah! 817 00:32:31,291 --> 00:32:33,415 Oh, my God. 818 00:32:33,416 --> 00:32:34,116 Oh, yeah. 819 00:32:34,117 --> 00:32:36,956 It's worse than the other thing we were watching. 820 00:32:36,957 --> 00:32:38,165 They don't try to curse that much 821 00:32:38,166 --> 00:32:39,332 on that one, though, so it's okay. 822 00:32:39,333 --> 00:32:40,707 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 823 00:32:40,708 --> 00:32:42,666 - Oh, that's good. - What do you wanna do? 824 00:32:43,999 --> 00:32:45,373 - What do I wanna do? - Mm-hmm. 825 00:32:45,374 --> 00:32:47,457 - You mean right now? - Mm-hmm. 826 00:32:47,458 --> 00:32:49,290 Oh. 827 00:32:49,291 --> 00:32:52,998 I mean, if we could do anything right now, 828 00:32:52,999 --> 00:32:54,498 what would it be? 829 00:32:54,499 --> 00:32:56,165 Sexually. 830 00:32:56,166 --> 00:32:57,957 - Well... - Mm-hmm? 831 00:33:01,916 --> 00:33:04,790 - Uh... - What? 832 00:33:04,791 --> 00:33:06,373 - You know. - Tell me. 833 00:33:06,374 --> 00:33:10,248 I just like to get an erection, put it in a vagina. 834 00:33:10,249 --> 00:33:11,540 - That's a... - That's it? 835 00:33:11,541 --> 00:33:12,749 That's about it, yeah. 836 00:33:12,750 --> 00:33:15,040 That's your biggest fantasy? 837 00:33:15,041 --> 00:33:17,332 I would just get on the top 838 00:33:17,333 --> 00:33:21,165 and thrust until orgasm. 839 00:33:21,166 --> 00:33:24,498 - Hmm. - I'm sexually a very simple man. 840 00:33:24,499 --> 00:33:26,248 Oh. 841 00:33:26,249 --> 00:33:28,707 Hmm. 842 00:33:28,708 --> 00:33:33,706 But there is something that can change that. 843 00:33:33,707 --> 00:33:34,707 Oh. 844 00:33:34,708 --> 00:33:36,707 - I got something. I got something... - There we go. 845 00:33:36,708 --> 00:33:39,249 - Ooh! Oh! - ...that's pretty interesting. 846 00:33:42,875 --> 00:33:46,790 There you go. 847 00:33:46,791 --> 00:33:52,874 This is a relationship nondisclosure agreement? 848 00:33:52,875 --> 00:33:55,040 - Yeah. - Is this a joke? 849 00:33:55,041 --> 00:33:56,457 No, no. 850 00:33:56,458 --> 00:34:00,206 You... this is a nondisclosure agreement 851 00:34:00,207 --> 00:34:03,332 that you want me to sign? 852 00:34:03,333 --> 00:34:05,248 Yeah, we both... we both have to sign it. 853 00:34:05,249 --> 00:34:08,707 This is terrible! This is... what's wrong with you? 854 00:34:08,708 --> 00:34:11,956 It's... it's just a discretion thing. You know, it's a... 855 00:34:11,957 --> 00:34:14,415 "Partners prohibited from disclosing the quality of the sexual experience 856 00:34:14,416 --> 00:34:16,540 or the degree of satisfaction attained"? 857 00:34:16,541 --> 00:34:19,290 - It's fairly boilerplate. - There is no boilerplate, Larry. 858 00:34:19,291 --> 00:34:20,874 This has never existed before. 859 00:34:20,875 --> 00:34:23,081 - This is insane. - I know, it's brilliant. 860 00:34:23,082 --> 00:34:26,081 - It's not brilliant. - It locks in discretion, it's... 861 00:34:26,082 --> 00:34:27,665 "Partners shall not divulge any details 862 00:34:27,666 --> 00:34:29,998 including the use of toys, lotions, ointments..." 863 00:34:29,999 --> 00:34:31,832 What are you talking about? 864 00:34:31,833 --> 00:34:33,915 - Fantastic idea. - Larry, you are out of your mind. 865 00:34:33,916 --> 00:34:35,248 - No, uh... - This is horrible. 866 00:34:35,249 --> 00:34:36,998 It'll be great for our sex life. 867 00:34:36,999 --> 00:34:38,874 - We can... we can go wild. - No, it won't. 868 00:34:38,875 --> 00:34:41,415 This is a great idea. I... I wish I thought of it years ago! 869 00:34:41,416 --> 00:34:43,874 I wish my ex-wife had signed one, I can tell you that! 870 00:34:43,875 --> 00:34:45,956 'Cause I know she's talking, she's blabbing. 871 00:34:45,957 --> 00:34:47,749 She's telling Ted Danson everything. 872 00:34:47,750 --> 00:34:49,206 What happened in Tahoe... 873 00:34:49,207 --> 00:34:51,123 she's told him what happened in Tahoe! 874 00:34:51,124 --> 00:34:52,832 You're presenting me with a legal document. 875 00:34:52,833 --> 00:34:55,915 It's the least sexy thing anyone has ever done, ever! 876 00:34:55,916 --> 00:34:57,415 - It's like a prenup! - Bye. 877 00:34:57,416 --> 00:34:58,749 You're not thinking this through! 878 00:34:58,750 --> 00:35:02,832 This is a good... good idea! Bridget! Bridget! 879 00:35:02,833 --> 00:35:05,915 Bridget, if we had this, it'll take the boredom away! 880 00:35:05,916 --> 00:35:09,040 Sign this and you'll have the wildest sex you ever imagined! 881 00:35:09,041 --> 00:35:10,290 - No. - Just sign it! 882 00:35:10,291 --> 00:35:12,624 - No. - Orgasms galore! 883 00:35:12,625 --> 00:35:14,540 That's what I'm promising you, baby! 884 00:35:14,541 --> 00:35:17,290 Orgasms galore! You won't regret it! 885 00:35:17,291 --> 00:35:19,749 I'm not signing your dumb piece of paper, Larry. 886 00:35:19,750 --> 00:35:21,498 Should've known this was not gonna work out. 887 00:35:21,499 --> 00:35:22,956 Eddie never liked you! 888 00:35:22,957 --> 00:35:25,624 Oh, the... the kid you pretended has Asperger's? 889 00:35:25,625 --> 00:35:28,624 It is not pretend. He has Asperger's. 890 00:35:28,625 --> 00:35:30,124 What's your excuse? 891 00:35:36,333 --> 00:35:39,791 You're missing out on Tahoe Larry! 892 00:35:44,249 --> 00:35:45,915 You are about to enter 893 00:35:45,916 --> 00:35:49,540 the courtroom of Judge Judith Sheindlin. 894 00:35:49,541 --> 00:35:52,665 This is "Judge Judy." 895 00:35:52,666 --> 00:35:55,498 Larry David is suing Rose Shapiro 896 00:35:55,499 --> 00:36:00,165 for trespassing at his home and stealing his ficus plant. 897 00:36:00,166 --> 00:36:02,998 Larry David says that Mrs. Shapiro 898 00:36:02,999 --> 00:36:05,915 has made him feel unsafe in his own home. 899 00:36:05,916 --> 00:36:08,332 The defendant is countersuing Mr. David 900 00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:13,040 for sole custody of the plant on grounds of plant abuse. 901 00:36:13,041 --> 00:36:14,707 All rise. 902 00:36:14,708 --> 00:36:17,040 Oh, my God. 903 00:36:17,041 --> 00:36:20,373 Your Honor, it's case number 249 on the calendar in the matter of David vs. Shapiro. 904 00:36:20,374 --> 00:36:21,874 - Thank you. - You're welcome, Judge. 905 00:36:21,875 --> 00:36:23,707 Parties have been sworn in. You may be seated. 906 00:36:23,708 --> 00:36:27,790 Oh, my fucking God! 907 00:36:27,791 --> 00:36:29,998 - When was that? - Five years ago. 908 00:36:29,999 --> 00:36:32,248 Subsequently, several weeks ago, 909 00:36:32,249 --> 00:36:34,707 you, without invitation, 910 00:36:34,708 --> 00:36:36,749 - came into the house. - Oh... 911 00:36:36,750 --> 00:36:38,457 That's him! 912 00:36:38,458 --> 00:36:40,040 That's the guy. That's the guy I was telling you about. 913 00:36:40,041 --> 00:36:42,582 This is the guy you had all those sex stories about? 914 00:36:42,583 --> 00:36:45,332 Yes, that's Larry Long Balls. 915 00:36:45,333 --> 00:36:46,832 Finally, I shoo her away. 916 00:36:46,833 --> 00:36:48,790 She comes back another time, uninvited, 917 00:36:48,791 --> 00:36:50,749 uses her key, steals the plant. 918 00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:54,457 Miss Shapiro, I see that you have some evidence here. 919 00:36:54,458 --> 00:36:57,081 This is the way the plant looked 920 00:36:57,082 --> 00:36:59,332 when I found it in his house. 921 00:36:59,333 --> 00:37:01,665 - I wanna object. Objection. - Yeah. 922 00:37:01,666 --> 00:37:03,582 - Total objection to that plant. - Just a second. 923 00:37:03,583 --> 00:37:05,123 Who are you? 924 00:37:05,124 --> 00:37:07,749 This is Leon Black. He's... he's my witness. 925 00:37:07,750 --> 00:37:09,749 Does he have any relevant information 926 00:37:09,750 --> 00:37:12,457 that would help... that would help your case? 927 00:37:12,458 --> 00:37:15,123 I do. This plant is like a person. 928 00:37:15,124 --> 00:37:19,206 Certain parts of the year, that plant turns darker, like myself. 929 00:37:19,207 --> 00:37:22,498 When I go to Florida, I turn a little darker, a shade darker. 930 00:37:22,499 --> 00:37:24,749 Most of the time I carry myself in a mocha tone, 931 00:37:24,750 --> 00:37:27,915 but there are some... some parts of the year when I'm more mahogany. 932 00:37:27,916 --> 00:37:30,956 Let's get finished with the various tones of Mr. Black 933 00:37:30,957 --> 00:37:32,540 and let's move on to something else. 934 00:37:32,541 --> 00:37:34,498 Your Honor, is it possible I could pace 935 00:37:34,499 --> 00:37:36,373 while you're asking me the questions? 936 00:37:36,374 --> 00:37:40,123 Would you put him in his seat? 937 00:37:40,124 --> 00:37:42,707 - Mrs. Shapiro. - Yes? 938 00:37:42,708 --> 00:37:44,998 You have another exhibit underneath that 939 00:37:44,999 --> 00:37:46,874 to show me what the plant looks like now? 940 00:37:46,875 --> 00:37:49,956 - Yes, I do. - Anybody want a cough drop? 941 00:37:49,957 --> 00:37:51,956 You want one, Judge? Judge Sheindlin? 942 00:37:51,957 --> 00:37:53,373 You want a cough drop? 943 00:37:53,374 --> 00:37:55,206 It's so hard to be fair. 944 00:37:55,207 --> 00:37:57,040 Byrd, give her a cough drop. 945 00:37:57,041 --> 00:37:59,040 So, this is the guy you're working with? 946 00:37:59,041 --> 00:38:00,790 - Go... shh! Uh! - Yeah. 947 00:38:00,791 --> 00:38:02,790 You went back to Mr. David's home... 948 00:38:02,791 --> 00:38:04,956 ...and you stole the plant. 949 00:38:04,957 --> 00:38:07,373 I would say rather than stole, rescued. 950 00:38:07,374 --> 00:38:09,624 Judge, yoo-hoo! Is this filtered? 951 00:38:09,625 --> 00:38:11,749 I don't know. What is he asking me? 952 00:38:11,750 --> 00:38:13,665 - If it's filtered, Judge. - It's... 953 00:38:13,666 --> 00:38:15,248 - Is it filtered? - Yes, it's filtered. 954 00:38:15,249 --> 00:38:17,874 I'm sorry. That is not filtered water. 955 00:38:17,875 --> 00:38:20,332 Don't drink it. Don't drink it. Put it down. 956 00:38:20,333 --> 00:38:22,874 What are you putting unfiltered water... tap water on the table for? 957 00:38:22,875 --> 00:38:25,165 That's it. That's it. I'm done. 958 00:38:25,166 --> 00:38:27,665 Mr. David, while I understand 959 00:38:27,666 --> 00:38:29,874 that Mrs. Shapiro did the wrong thing, 960 00:38:29,875 --> 00:38:32,123 I can only say to you, sir, 961 00:38:32,124 --> 00:38:34,332 that anyone who would neglect a plant 962 00:38:34,333 --> 00:38:36,956 in that fashion doesn't deserve to have it. 963 00:38:36,957 --> 00:38:38,998 Your case is dismissed. 964 00:38:38,999 --> 00:38:40,540 We're done. There you go. 965 00:38:40,541 --> 00:38:42,290 - This is... what? - Good-bye. 966 00:38:42,291 --> 00:38:43,956 Parties are excused. You may step out. 967 00:38:43,957 --> 00:38:46,874 This is crazy! I'm... I'm shocked, shocked! 968 00:38:46,875 --> 00:38:49,624 Are we no better than the... the beasts in the field? 969 00:38:49,625 --> 00:38:52,998 And by beasts, I'm not talking about the... the chicken. 970 00:38:52,999 --> 00:38:56,165 I'm talking about the oxen and the... the donkey... 971 00:38:56,166 --> 00:38:59,290 - Oh, un-fucking-believable. - ...with its slack-jawed stare and... 972 00:38:59,291 --> 00:39:00,956 - What's going on? - Oh, nothing. 973 00:39:00,957 --> 00:39:03,665 Come on into bed, cowboy. 974 00:39:05,541 --> 00:39:07,041 Yes, ma'am. 975 00:39:26,374 --> 00:39:27,750 Forget it, forget it. 976 00:39:29,957 --> 00:39:31,956 - Hi. - Hey. 977 00:39:31,957 --> 00:39:33,165 - Hello. - Vanessa. 978 00:39:33,166 --> 00:39:34,874 - Hi, Vanessa. - So nice to meet you. 979 00:39:34,875 --> 00:39:37,248 - Nice to meet you. I'm Larry David. - Hi, Larry, yeah. 980 00:39:37,249 --> 00:39:40,290 Hi. I'm bald, I wear glasses, and... and this is my ticket. 981 00:39:40,291 --> 00:39:42,582 Here to see the show. I'm very excited. 982 00:39:42,583 --> 00:39:44,373 I'm right here. I'm sitting right next to you. 983 00:39:44,374 --> 00:39:45,790 - How about that? - Yeah. 984 00:39:45,791 --> 00:39:48,081 This is my friend, Joanna, from college. 985 00:39:48,082 --> 00:39:49,248 - Hi. - Hello, hi. 986 00:39:49,249 --> 00:39:50,832 - Larry. - Nice to meet you. 987 00:39:50,833 --> 00:39:52,332 I'm not a shucker. 988 00:39:52,333 --> 00:39:54,540 I enjoy clams. I do. 989 00:39:54,541 --> 00:39:56,582 I like oysters, but I don't shuck. 990 00:39:56,583 --> 00:39:58,998 I know a shucker, but that doesn't mean 991 00:39:58,999 --> 00:40:00,582 that the shucker's gonna be here. 992 00:40:00,583 --> 00:40:01,956 I'm here, not the shucker. 993 00:40:01,957 --> 00:40:03,998 Do you like clams and oysters? 994 00:40:03,999 --> 00:40:05,582 - They're okay. - Yeah, okay. 995 00:40:05,583 --> 00:40:07,874 Well, but if you eat them, somebody's gotta shuck them. 996 00:40:07,875 --> 00:40:10,582 Lin is so excited about "Fatwa!" 997 00:40:10,583 --> 00:40:13,540 - Oh, "Fatwa!" Come on! - Yeah. 998 00:40:13,541 --> 00:40:15,415 This is gonna be a big thing, though. 999 00:40:15,416 --> 00:40:16,582 He's so excited. 1000 00:40:16,583 --> 00:40:18,248 He can't wait to just get in there 1001 00:40:18,249 --> 00:40:19,956 and start rewriting. 1002 00:40:19,957 --> 00:40:21,915 He shouldn't be getting into there, 1003 00:40:21,916 --> 00:40:23,373 he should be getting into you, 1004 00:40:23,374 --> 00:40:24,707 and I don't mean that in a sexual way. 1005 00:40:24,708 --> 00:40:26,332 I mean it in terms of time. 1006 00:40:26,333 --> 00:40:27,956 Don't... don't get into the weeds of the show. 1007 00:40:27,957 --> 00:40:30,040 Get into your weeds, again not sexual, 1008 00:40:30,041 --> 00:40:32,624 but delve into you, you know. 1009 00:40:32,625 --> 00:40:34,373 And again, delve into you... 1010 00:40:34,374 --> 00:40:37,290 nonsexual delving is what I'm saying. 1011 00:40:37,291 --> 00:40:39,457 A nonsexual delve. 1012 00:40:39,458 --> 00:40:41,582 Ay, gosh. 1013 00:40:41,583 --> 00:40:43,457 Shoulder. Killing me. 1014 00:40:43,458 --> 00:40:45,332 How'd you hurt your shoulder? 1015 00:40:45,333 --> 00:40:48,624 Wrestling with Lin in his agent's office. 1016 00:40:48,625 --> 00:40:51,790 - He threw me to the ground. - Seriously? 1017 00:40:51,791 --> 00:40:53,457 Yeah, yeah. 1018 00:40:58,708 --> 00:41:01,165 I've got pain pills. My friend gave me pain pills. 1019 00:41:01,166 --> 00:41:04,457 - Fantastic! - You want some water? 1020 00:41:04,458 --> 00:41:06,957 - Thank you. - Here you go. 1021 00:41:14,666 --> 00:41:16,165 Oh, you can keep it. 1022 00:41:19,041 --> 00:41:21,707 ♪ How does a bastard, orphan ♪ 1023 00:41:21,708 --> 00:41:24,332 ♪ Son of a whore and a Scotsman ♪ 1024 00:41:24,333 --> 00:41:27,290 ♪ Dropped in the middle of a forgotten... ♪ 1025 00:41:27,291 --> 00:41:29,832 ♪ Spot in the Caribbean by providence ♪ 1026 00:41:29,833 --> 00:41:31,665 ♪ Impoverished, in squalor ♪ 1027 00:41:31,666 --> 00:41:34,165 ♪ Grow up to be a hero and a scholar? ♪ 1028 00:41:34,166 --> 00:41:36,874 - ♪ So, what happens if we win? ♪ - ♪ I go back to France ♪ 1029 00:41:36,875 --> 00:41:39,415 ♪ I'll bring freedom to my people if I'm given a chance ♪ 1030 00:41:39,416 --> 00:41:41,749 - ♪ We'll be with you when you do ♪ - ♪ Go lead your men ♪ 1031 00:41:41,750 --> 00:41:43,915 ♪ I'll see you on the other side... ♪ 1032 00:41:43,916 --> 00:41:46,707 - ♪ Till we meet again ♪ - ♪ I am not throwing away my shot ♪ 1033 00:41:46,708 --> 00:41:49,040 - ♪ I am not throwing away my shot... ♪ - Hey! 1034 00:41:49,041 --> 00:41:51,665 ♪ Hey, yo, I'm just like my country, I'm young, scrappy, and hungry ♪ 1035 00:41:51,666 --> 00:41:54,040 ♪ And I'm not throwing away my shot ♪ 1036 00:41:54,041 --> 00:41:56,457 ♪ I am not throwing away my shot ♪ 1037 00:41:56,458 --> 00:41:59,040 ♪ Till the world turns upside down ♪ 1038 00:41:59,041 --> 00:42:03,332 ♪ Till the world turns upside down ♪ 1039 00:42:03,333 --> 00:42:05,707 ♪ I imagine death so much, it feels more like a memory ♪ 1040 00:42:05,708 --> 00:42:08,790 ♪ This is where it gets me, on my feet, the enemy ahead of me ♪ 1041 00:42:08,791 --> 00:42:11,415 ♪ If this is the end of me, at least I have a friend with me ♪ 1042 00:42:11,416 --> 00:42:14,541 ♪ Weapon in my hand, a command and my men with me... ♪