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♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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(DOOR SLAMS)
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(GROANS) Be honest with you...
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
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It don't bother me so much
in the daytime.
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It's at night when I lay down
and go to bed.
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I can't sleep. I toss, I turn.
(SIGHS) It's hell.
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Do you eat a lot of dairy? Milk,
cottage cheese, sour cream?
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Yes, all of it.
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I'm not a doctor,
but it sounds to me
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like you might have
a lactose allergy
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- or a lactose intolerance.
- (GASPS)
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Really?
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My suggestion is that you cut
out dairy from your diet...
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- (SCOFFS)
- ...completely.
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It's gonna be tough,
I love cheese.
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Hey, who doesn't love
a delicious Camembert
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on a cracker? Come on.
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"Camden-bear"?
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- LARRY DAVID: Camembert.
- What the fuck is that?
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It's a-- it's a soft cheese.
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I ain't ever heard of that shit.
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Yeah, it's very good.
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I don't know how
I'm gonna do it, man.
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It's gonna be tough.
It's all I eat.
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I know it's hard.
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I had to give up
Marcona almonds.
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Is that like a nut?
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Yeah, delicious.
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That with some truffle oil
and sea salt.
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Tremendous.
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I don't know what the fuck
you're talking about.
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Eh, okay.
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Larry David, you're free to go.
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- All right, okay!
- Oh-ho! Look at you.
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Lawyer's here.
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EMMETT: Stay in touch, buddy.
Good to meet you.
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Mr. David. I'm Joe D'Angelo.
I'm an attorney.
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Your manager Jeff sent me.
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Hey, Larry. Let me give you
my number, man.
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We can stay in touch, you know?
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Hey, you got a phone on you?
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- JOE D'ANGELO: Sure.
- Mind taking his number down?
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- JOE: His number?
- Yeah.
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- EMMETT: 404-892-8042.
- Okay.
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- EMMETT: Yeah.
- Yeah, I got it.
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EMMETT: Hit me up
sometime, Larry.
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- Sure.
- EMMETT: Take it easy, buddy.
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- Thanks, fellas. Let's go.
- OFFICER: All yours.
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JOE: Listen, Larry.
May I call you Larry?
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- LARRY: Y-yeah, sure.
- JOE: Okay. Listen to me, Larry.
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Okay, I got you out on an R.O.R.
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They're releasing you
on your own recognizance, okay?
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- Yeah. Yeah.
- What's-- what's wrong?
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- Nothing.
- Okay.
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I didn't know it was
against the law to give someone
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a glass of water.
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(CHUCKLES)
Welcome to Georgia, my friend.
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All right, look, all I wanna do,
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all I wanna do is plead guilty
and go home.
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I want to get
the hell out of here.
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That's the plan.
You plead guilty.
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I get you out of here by Monday
with a slap on the wrist. Okay?
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Okay.
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- Hey, let me ask you this.
- JOE: What is it?
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LARRY:
So, this guy flies me out here
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to make an appearance
at his birthday party.
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- JOE: Right.
- And now he's not paying me.
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Let's stick with this
criminal case, okay?
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- And then we can sit down
and maybe talk about...
- Yeah, I know, but you could see
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- how upsetting the whole--
- (SUPPORTERS CHEERING)
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SUPPORTER 1:
Yeah, Larry! You're a hero.
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Oh!
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SUPPORTER 2: We love you, Larry!
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Look at this.
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(ALL CHEER)
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Looks like you're some kind of
liberal darling.
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Huh? Ah.
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Get the hell out of here.
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- Come on.
- That's right.
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- Look at you.
- How could I not
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- be here for you?
- Oh, what a pal!
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I got an Airbnb for us.
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I got all your luggage there.
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You are all set.
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Hey, this is uh...
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- Joe D'Angelo.
- Yeah, we spoke on the phone.
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How are you?
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- Joe.
- JOE: Yes.
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- JEFF GREENE: Yeah.
- Nice to finally meet you.
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Nice meeting you too.
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- A pleasure.
- JOE: Yeah, definitely.
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Thank you for helping us out.
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Oh, sure. Listen, I'll tell you
what I tell all my clients.
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Don't worry.
You're in good hands.
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Nice meeting you, Jeff.
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- Weird.
- It's-- it's unbelievable.
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- It's insane.
- He looks just like Mocha Joe.
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Have you ever seen
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- an uncanny resemblance
like that in your life?
- JEFF: No. No.
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I never saw him.
I only talked to him.
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He was recommended.
He was like the best.
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But I have
a natural antipathy towards him
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because of Mocha Joe.
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Yeah. I'm so sorry
that I hired him.
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Still-- still the hair dye,
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- still going with it, huh?
- Oh, come on. I like it. I do.
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- I don't think you do.
- JEFF: I like it.
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I know you don't. (CHUCKLES)
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I know you don't.
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You're not being honest
with your pal.
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That's okay.
Let's go greet my public.
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(SUPPORTERS CHEERING,
APPLAUDING)
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LARRY: Hello! Thank you.
So nice of you.
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♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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LARRY: Ah.
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- So, this is our rental?
- JEFF: Yep.
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Oh, this is uh,
this is interesting.
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- Mm-hmm.
- I actually read this in jail
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last night
in the Scientific American.
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That for thousands of years
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humans have been putting on
their shoes
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using their index finger
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- as a shoehorn.
- Uh-huh.
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And in some kind of
Darwinian way we've adapted
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and the index finger,
in a couple of thousand years,
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it's gonna look like a shoehorn.
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The fuck are you talking about?
Shoehorn?
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No, look, you can see
it's getting flatter.
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They look like
the other fingers.
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- (LAUGHS)
- What are you talking about?
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I think it's Bullshit American,
that's what I think.
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- Bullshit American.
- Looks like a shoehorn.
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What? What is this doing
on the lawn?
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JEFF: It came with the house.
You think I put it on the lawn?
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We didn't know it was there
until we moved in.
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Oh, that's-- that's awful.
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- Terrible.
- That's awful.
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Well, I-- I can't stay in
a house with that thing there.
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MIKA BRZEZINSKI: (ON TV)
A bottle of water!
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I mean it's an outrageous law,
Willie, but come on.
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You gotta take your hat off
to Larry David.
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- Mm-hmm.
- It had to be done,
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- and-- and damn it, he did it.
- (DOOR OPENING)
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Oh, hey.
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What's-- what's-- what's with
that thing out there?
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- SUSIE GREENE: What thing?
- The lawn jockey?
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Oh, I know.
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- Well, it-- We're in the South.
- My God!
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- That's what they have.
- Oh, come on.
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We gotta--
we gotta get rid of that thing.
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- You're not getting rid of it.
- I can't stay in this house
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with that thing outside.
I'm not comfortable.
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This is an Airbnb.
I gave a security deposit.
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Just leave it the fuck alone.
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You see what's going on here?
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- JOE SCARBOROUGH:
It's a courageous stand.
- Yes.
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You know, maybe it's not
Rosa Parks on the bus,
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but you know,
this is pretty important.
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- Oh, this is amazing.
- SUSIE: Yeah.
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I don't wanna get all preachy
about this, but you go back--
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- What did Jesus say?
- Yeah.
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"I was thirsty
and you gave me water."
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That's what Larry did here.
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And I'm just wondering,
are Republicans, like,
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really going to push
getting this guy sent to jail?
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- SUSIE: You go, Larry.
- How about that, huh?
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Wow.
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This story
gaining momentum, too.
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Political figures, celebrities
across the country
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reacting to Larry David's
brave stand.
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Larry David is about action,
not words.
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He saw an injustice
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and he did what he could
to right it.
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And that's what we need
today in America.
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- SUSIE: It's a cause célèbre.
- BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN:
Larry David took a big risk.
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- Oh my God.
- SUSIE: Yeah.
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He put his name
and his body on the line.
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You're like a hero or something.
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- Wow!
- Involvement.
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That's Larry David's
middle name.
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Larry "Involvement" David.
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Can you believe that?
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This Larry David
they're talking about
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seems like quite a fellow.
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- He is.
- Well, that guy is.
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- LARRY: He's really something.
- But we know better.
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You must be exhausted.
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You want a cup of coffee?
I got coffee made.
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That would be great.
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- Thank you very much.
- Yeah. (SIGHS)
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Hey, what's, uh,
what's going on with Hulu?
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Uh, 11 o'clock tomorrow morning,
we got a Zoom call.
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Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Tomorrow you have a Zoom call?
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- JEFF: Yeah, we got a Zoom call.
- I don't think so, Jeff.
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You're gonna have
to change that.
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What the hell's
the matter with you?
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Oh, shit.
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00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:55,790
- It's your birthday.
- SUSIE: Yes, exactly.
199
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,335
- No Zooming on my birthday.
- LARRY: Oh, w-- wait.
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00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,503
- No work on my birthday.
- No work?
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00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,671
- SUSIE: No.
- What? No Zooming?
202
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:02,964
What is that?
A national holiday?
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00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,383
Well, it's-- it's a sacred day
for Jeff and me.
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00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,801
Is he allowed
to go to the bathroom?
205
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,803
- Can he go to the bathroom?
- Yes, he can go to the bathroom.
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00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,889
And you can do
whatever the fuck you want.
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00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:13,600
- Oh, don't worry.
- But Jeff is mine
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00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,434
all day.
209
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,227
Yeah, like he's ten years old?
Come on.
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00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,645
You know, if I wasn't born,
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00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:19,397
think the whole world
would be shit.
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You know what?
If this was that movie
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00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,359
with, uh, Jimmy Stewart...
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00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:23,568
- It's a Wonderful Life?
- LARRY: Yeah.
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00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,904
And the angel
was taking you around,
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00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,031
nobody would give a fuck.
(LAUGHS)
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00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,491
Very funny.
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Getting you coffee.
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00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,746
This is just insanity.
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00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:37,248
- Oh, yeah.
- And you know what?
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00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:38,375
I gotta get her a gift.
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00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,502
I don't know where to go,
what to get her.
223
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:42,420
You know,
it's always a disappointment,
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00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:43,963
and I don't wanna
break the bank.
225
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,131
It's so frustrating.
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00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,341
What a thing to go through.
227
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,093
You have to think
about another person.
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00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,761
- It's just terrible.
- Yeah.
229
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,848
- This is a possibility for you.
- Hmm?
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00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,684
You don't wanna spend
too much money.
231
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:56,768
Yeah.
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00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,269
And yet you wanna
make her happy.
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00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,105
- Mm-hmm.
- You get two gifts,
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00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,731
but you only give her one
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00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,983
and see how she reacts
to the one.
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00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:05,610
If you see
she's a little disappointed
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00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,153
'cause it's just one,
238
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,822
then you bring out the second.
239
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:12,242
If she's happy with the one,
then you return the second.
240
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,160
How did I not think of that?
So simple.
241
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,412
- Look at that.
- Thank you.
242
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,038
JEFF: Wow. Thanks.
243
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,289
(SHOUTING) What the fuck?
244
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:25,505
- What is that, man?
- Yeah, I know. It's terrible.
245
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,715
- It's terrible.
- LEON BLACK: You know?
246
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,466
You guys had to walk by him
when you came in?
247
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:29,926
- No, we walked by there.
- Well, I-- I don't know.
248
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,636
I just saw it for the first time
two minutes ago.
249
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,555
You fist bumped
this motherfucker?
250
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:36,057
- JEFF: No, we don't fist bump.
- Hey, what's up?
251
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:38,268
You know what?
Let's put it in the garage.
252
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,519
- This is crazy.
- You wanna?
253
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,729
- Perfect. Let's do it. Okay.
- Yeah, let's do this.
254
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,814
Jeez.
Get him the fuck out of here.
255
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,858
- ♪ (LIGHTHEARTED MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
- (ALL GRUNT)
256
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,735
LEON: This is heavy, man.
What the fuck?
257
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,487
- Are you guys doing anything?
- JEFF: Yeah, I'm holding it.
258
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:50,989
- Whoa!
- Oh!
259
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,241
JEFF: Are you okay?
260
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,826
LARRY: Oh, shit.
261
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,411
(SIGHS)
262
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,163
- Oh, man.
- JEFF: Come on.
263
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,415
- (JEFF GRUNTS)
- LARRY: Oh, man.
264
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,125
- JEFF: Look what you did.
- LEON: What I did?
265
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,586
I knew you would say that shit.
I had the heaviest part.
266
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:05,795
- You two weaklings--
- You got the heaviest part?
267
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,172
You volunteered
for the heaviest part.
268
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,007
- You did it.
- You said you wanted
to stay in the back!
269
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,425
- What're you talking about?
- JEFF: You caused it.
270
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:11,676
What the hell happened?
271
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,346
What the hell?
What did you guys do?
272
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,972
- LARRY: We had an accident.
- Yeah.
273
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:18,266
Why did you even move
the fucking thing?
274
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:19,768
This is not our house.
275
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,811
All right. Well, you're gonna
have to just find another one.
276
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,855
'Cause I am not eating
the security deposit.
277
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:26,316
You hear me? Go buy a new one.
278
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:29,361
Right now. The exact same one!
279
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:30,862
Can we do it on your birthday?
280
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,574
- SUSIE: Jesus.
- (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
281
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,534
All right. I'm gonna
take a shower and then we'll...
282
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:38,203
How are we gonna find
one of these things?
283
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,788
Don't forget,
we gotta get Susie's gifts.
284
00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:41,247
- Yeah, the gifts. Right, yeah.
- All right?
285
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,749
♪ (PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
286
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,292
JEFF: This is
so damn overwhelming.
287
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:45,585
LARRY: Oh my God.
288
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,712
- I don't know what to get her.
- Yeah, I don't envy you.
289
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,214
This is an impossible--
290
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:52,092
Hey, you're the guy
that gave that lady the water.
291
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,469
Right, I'm the guy.
292
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,304
And you're the guy
wearing a sweater
293
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,722
tied around
his motherfucking neck.
294
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,474
- (LARRY LAUGHS)
- How about that?
295
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,643
JEFF: Hey, right there.
Look at this place.
296
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,269
- LARRY: Let's do it.
- JEFF: Let's do it.
297
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:04,938
(SIGHS)
298
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:08,066
LARRY: This really looks like
a Susie store.
299
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,276
Look at this stuff.
It's pretty horrible.
300
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,653
What about this thing?
301
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,947
- Hey! Hey!
- Fucking perfect.
302
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,740
I'm going over to Sunglass Hut.
303
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,701
- LARRY: Really?
- I'm getting gift number one.
304
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,869
You two scout
for gift number two.
305
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,955
- All right. See you in a minute.
- Yeah. Okay.
306
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,748
- This is stupid. What?
- This is her shit.
307
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,417
I'm looking to shop
for Susie? This is insane.
308
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,253
LEON: What do you buy a person
who already has bullshit
309
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,462
like this bullshit?
310
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,047
Hey, you know what?
311
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,133
(SIGHS)
312
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,426
I got a big job.
313
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,678
Oh. Okay, okay.
314
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,972
I gotta drop kids off
at the pool.
315
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,599
You think they have
a bathroom here?
316
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,018
Oh, they have a bathroom,
317
00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:46,479
but you can't use the bathroom
unless you buy something.
318
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,773
- That's how they do it.
- Ugh.
319
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,442
- Hello, gentlemen.
- LARRY: Oh, hey!
320
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,402
Hi, may I help you
find something?
321
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:54,821
Oh, no, you know,
we're just browsing.
322
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,448
We just got some gorgeous
wide brimmed hats.
323
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,782
Oh! Fedoras?
324
00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:00,368
- Yes, fedoras.
- Oh, I love a fedora. Yeah.
325
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:01,578
Would you like to see any or--
326
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:02,912
Uh, y-- you know,
uh, I'm wondering,
327
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,873
do you have a--
a restroom I-- I could use?
328
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,332
Oh, you have to
use the restroom?
329
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,459
LARRY: Yeah.
330
00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:08,752
Right now?
331
00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:10,462
Kinda, yeah.
332
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:13,631
Um, yeah. Right this way.
333
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:15,842
- Oh, thank you.
- Mm.
334
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:19,554
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
335
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:20,930
(SNIFFS)
336
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,655
(TRASH CAN CLANKS)
337
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,115
(SNIFFS)
338
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,287
Look who showed up. Susie.
(LAUGHS)
339
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,497
LARRY: Let's go.
340
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:46,623
8Excuse me.
341
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,833
Is there anything else
I can help you with?
342
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,585
I know you were interested
in the fedoras.
343
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:51,670
I can show you those.
344
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:54,506
Yeah, you know,
on second thought, um...
345
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:55,715
I don't think so.
346
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:56,883
Well... (CHUCKLES)
347
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,511
...the restroom
is for paying customers only.
348
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,513
Well, I browsed
with intent to buy,
349
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,014
but unfortunately,
350
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:06,476
I didn't really see anything
that was of interest to me.
351
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,353
In your previous condition,
352
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:10,730
how much would you have paid
to use the restroom?
353
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,025
Five hundred?
354
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,653
- Five hundred? Wow.
- LARRY: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
355
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,155
I cannot believe I found a pair.
356
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,449
But I found
the perfect pair for her.
357
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,367
Fantastic.
358
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,494
I got mine.
What'd you guys come up with?
359
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:25,537
(BOTH LAUGH)
360
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,539
- What did we--
- Come up with?
361
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:28,707
- Well, we...
- It's gonna be--
362
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,917
- We've been browsing--
- All over the store.
363
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,753
And we've come up with...
364
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:36,172
that purse.
365
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,508
JEFF: That purse!
That's perfect.
366
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,718
- Thank you, both!
- Yes!
367
00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,137
- Wow! Great call.
- Yes. We found that
368
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,555
in the store.
369
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,807
See? I'm a customer.
370
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:47,308
No, he's a customer.
371
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,561
You're just his friend
who pooped in our toilet.
372
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:55,900
♪ (PEPPY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
373
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,239
(WOOD CREAKING)
374
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:05,827
(EXHALES)
375
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,791
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
376
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,301
- Can I help you find anything?
- Oh!
377
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,428
- Hey there.
- How you doing?
378
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,388
Good. Um...
379
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:28,141
interested in buying a, uh...
380
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,934
a lawn jockey
they're called, right?
381
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,561
Yeah, that's exactly what
they are. Yeah.
382
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:33,271
Yeah. A lawn jockey. Yeah.
383
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:36,816
I noticed that they're all
pretty much the same...
384
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,361
you know, ethnicity.
385
00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:40,445
Mm-hmm.
386
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,116
Wondering if, perhaps,
you have any, uh...
387
00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:47,118
darker ones?
388
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:49,037
Darker how?
389
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:51,873
Black?
390
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,251
You-- you want a Black one?
391
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:58,046
It's not what you think.
Okay? It's not--
392
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,465
It's not what you think.
It's a long story. Uh...
393
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,008
Yeah, it's like 400 years long.
394
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,843
- Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
- Starts in Nigeria.
395
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:07,389
I, uh, believe me, I have
the same aversion to them
396
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:09,099
as you do. Um...
397
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,308
But you're looking for one.
398
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,977
Yeah... (CHUCKLES) ...again,
it's a long story.
399
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:15,355
I have nothing to do with it.
I just have to replace it,
400
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,816
- really. Um...
- So you already had one?
401
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,526
(CHUCKLES) Uh, okay, uh...
402
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:23,571
You know, this one, this one
looks very similar to the...
403
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:24,989
you know, the... the...
404
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,950
- The Black one?
- The Black one.
405
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,868
Let me ask you this question.
406
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,161
Do you sell...
407
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:33,373
black paint?
408
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,959
No. No, we don't have
black paint here.
409
00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:37,836
Shoe polish?
410
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,129
No, we don't have
any shoe polish,
411
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,297
we don't have any tar, we don't
have anything like that.
412
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:42,340
Mm-hmm.
413
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,842
Okay.
414
00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,010
You know what?
415
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,761
(CLICKS TONGUE) I think
I'm gonna get that one.
416
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,888
And, uh, I think
I can work with that.
417
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:55,311
It's white.
418
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,647
Yeah. (SIGHS) I know.
419
00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:00,942
Something about him, too.
I can't put my finger on it.
420
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:02,360
Why didn't you
go to a paint store?
421
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,988
I looked. I couldn't find
a paint store that was open.
422
00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:07,907
Susie will be here any minute.
What are we gonna do?
423
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,035
Got any... shoe polish?
424
00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:12,370
I don't have shoe polish.
425
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,999
♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
426
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:21,171
What are you looking at?
427
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,433
- LARRY: Pretty good.
- JEFF: This is great.
428
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,934
Great idea. Susie's here.
429
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,353
- What?
- Let's go.
430
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:40,106
- (LARRY GRUNTS)
- JEFF: Fuck!
431
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:43,026
- LARRY: Hey.
- Oh!
432
00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:44,569
- JEFF: Hi.
- LARRY: Hey, hey.
433
00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:45,987
Okay. Hey.
434
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,781
- Let's see.
- LARRY: Huh?
435
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,407
- Yeah.
- Hey.
436
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:50,950
Okay. It's the same?
437
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,327
- Oh, yeah. Yeah. I brought the--
- You sure?
438
00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:53,787
I brought the head
with me. Yeah.
439
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,205
You brought the head with you.
440
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,248
Huh.
441
00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,751
Hmm.
442
00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,378
(SUSIE EXHALES SHARPLY)
443
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:04,172
All right. You're off the hook.
444
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:06,341
- JEFF: We are off the hook.
- Don't do any more stupid shit.
445
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,968
- The three of you.
- No, no more stupid shit.
446
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,096
SUSIE: Wasn't eating
that security deposit.
447
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:14,099
- No. Yeah.
- LARRY: Okay.
448
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,393
- (DOOR CLOSES)
- JEFF: How about that?
449
00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:18,269
- (LARRY CHUCKLES)
- How about them apples?
450
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,229
Great! Great!
451
00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:20,772
All right.
Let's clean this shit up.
452
00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:22,148
All right.
453
00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,901
LARRY:
So, for thousands of years,
454
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:27,112
humans have been
putting on their shoes
455
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,655
using their index finger
456
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,323
- as a shoehorn.
- SUSIE: Right.
457
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,535
And, in time,
our index fingers have been...
458
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:35,370
(LARRY LAUGHS)
459
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:37,747
- JEFF: Happy birthday!
- For me?
460
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:40,959
LARRY: Oh-ho! Oh, baby doll!
461
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:43,003
Oh, baby!
462
00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:45,880
Sunglasses?
463
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,757
- Wow.
- LARRY: Fantastic.
464
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,509
You like 'em?
465
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,594
- I like 'em. Let me look at 'em.
- She likes 'em.
466
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:54,097
- She likes 'em.
- Let's see how they look on.
I do like 'em.
467
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,598
LARRY: Let me see,
let me see. Turn--
468
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:58,351
As many women
from Long Island would say,
469
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,478
-"To die for."
- SUSIE: That's true.
470
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:03,356
And you know what? It's a nice
memento of our trip to Atlanta.
471
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,774
- Yeah, birthday gift.
- I-- I--
472
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,276
I love them. You did good, babe.
473
00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:08,153
- You did good. Yeah.
- Thank you. I did good.
474
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:09,529
(PHONE NOTIFICATION DINGS)
475
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,698
SUSIE: Ah, the texts
just keep coming in.
476
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,450
- The birthday wishes.
- Oh, boy.
477
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:14,993
- Oh, jeez.
- JEFF: What's the matter?
478
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,661
Oh, it's... I hate
to bring this up,
479
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,121
but I got this, um...
480
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:19,956
meeting with
my lawyer now, and...
481
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,042
- Oh!
- All right. Go.
We'll see you later.
482
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,336
Yeah, I mean, the problem is,
I can't really go alone
483
00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:25,962
'cause I don't know
what the hell I'm doing.
484
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:26,963
Oh.
485
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:29,007
If I could bring Jeff--
I know it's your birthday.
486
00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:31,801
I'm sorry to ask,
but this is important and--
487
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:34,304
and I just need him there
for support.
488
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:35,847
You do realize
it's her birthday?
489
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:36,890
I know it's her birthday.
490
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,224
I tried to change it
to another day,
491
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,852
but he said the papers
had to be filed by today.
492
00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:44,022
All right, all right, all right.
You know what? (SIGHS)
493
00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:47,692
This is real life.
This is important. You go.
494
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:50,320
- Be-- Come right back!
- Back before you know it.
495
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,072
What is it, an hour?
Hour and a half?
496
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,740
It's not gonna take long at all.
I promise.
497
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,533
Oh, Sammy just called.
498
00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,703
Oh, by the way...
499
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:01,247
- the upshot of the article?
- SUSIE: Yeah.
500
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,208
That in thousands of years,
501
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:06,044
our index fingers
are gonna resemble shoehorns.
502
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,712
Check it out. You can see it.
503
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,631
You see the shape of it? Look.
504
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:11,883
Flat.
505
00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,552
♪ (PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
506
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,597
- Oh, yeah!
- Unbelievable, right?
507
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,225
Look at this.
This is expensive too, huh?
508
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:21,726
- Yeah. Hey.
- Yeah.
509
00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:23,269
You were right.
510
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,896
- Thank you.
- LARRY: Let's go return it.
511
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:29,234
Oh!
512
00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:31,653
Another fucking gift?
513
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:35,240
You two sneaky cocksuckers.
514
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:36,908
What're they doing with that?
515
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:38,827
Fucking idiots.
516
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,081
- Excuse me.
- (LARRY SIGHS)
517
00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,457
JEFF: I'd like to return this.
518
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,920
- SALESMAN: You wanna return it?
- Yes, please.
519
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,839
Hmm.
You feel comfortable with this?
520
00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:52,132
I feel comfortable?
What are you--
521
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:54,300
- What are you talking about?
- After what you did?
522
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,469
What-- what did I do?
I didn't do anything.
523
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,055
Oh, I used the bathroom.
What a crime I committed!
524
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,182
I used their precious bathroom.
525
00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:03,435
Hey, this isn't even mine.
I'm not even the customer.
526
00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:05,103
He's the customer.
I didn't buy it.
527
00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:07,147
Yeah, exactly.
You weren't a customer.
528
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,274
And you had no intention
of ever being a customer.
529
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,442
You just go into random stores
530
00:19:10,442 --> 00:19:11,776
and use them
as your public restroom.
531
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:16,114
All right. Okay. It's enough!
Okay? I'll buy something.
532
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,533
- Okay? Will that make you happy?
- Yes.
533
00:19:18,533 --> 00:19:20,952
What?
What can I buy in this store?
534
00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:22,203
I have just the thing.
535
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,209
I think this
would bring out your eyes.
536
00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:29,461
Oh.
537
00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:30,962
JEFF: Mm-hmm,
does bring out your eyes.
538
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,589
- Really?
- SALESMAN: Let's try it on.
539
00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:36,634
- SALESMAN: Fabulous.
- This is amazing.
540
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,845
It's not the kind of thing
I would generally wear, but...
541
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:39,971
No, it works.
542
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,806
I'll ring it up.
A Southern gentleman.
543
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,099
- Poppin'.
- I'll take it.
544
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:45,101
- Yeah.
- Brings out my eyes.
545
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,686
That'll be 650.
546
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:51,816
♪ (LIGHTHEARTED MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
547
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,198
LARRY: All right.
This won't be long.
548
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,867
I'll text you when I'm done.
549
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,285
All right.
Well, good luck to you.
550
00:20:02,285 --> 00:20:04,829
- Okay.
- Tell the lawyer I said hey.
551
00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:06,581
Okay.
552
00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:09,167
And I thought I was
gonna faint, you know?
553
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,252
And when I told him
how thirsty I was,
554
00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,672
he just went to the car
and got me a bottle of water.
555
00:20:13,672 --> 00:20:16,007
- I understand.
- And it really made me feel
556
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:17,175
- so much better.
- I understand.
557
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:18,635
See? Thank you, baby.
558
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:21,471
JOE: And how long would you say
you were on line at the voting?
559
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,765
It was over two
and a half hours.
560
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:25,016
What a disgrace.
561
00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:28,561
Okay, so look, as your attorney,
I just wanna be above board.
562
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,522
And, when we get
in front of the judge,
563
00:20:30,522 --> 00:20:32,399
you're going to
plead guilty, correct?
564
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,109
- Yeah.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
565
00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:35,276
Larry. Uh-uh.
566
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:38,113
I thought that you was gonna
help us fight this evil law.
567
00:20:38,113 --> 00:20:40,490
- Uh, well...
- You gonna plead guilty?
568
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:42,033
What you mean you gonna
plead guilty, Larry?
569
00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:43,368
- He has to plead guilty.
- No!
570
00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:47,288
Larry is here to help us fight
for our cause.
571
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:48,540
Well, yeah. I am gonna fight.
572
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:50,375
You know, I'll fight it
in my own way.
573
00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:53,503
So what you mean is
you're gonna do it no way.
574
00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,547
Larry. Larry, Larry, Larry.
575
00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:57,007
I don't wanna go to jail!
576
00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:59,592
Larry, people are thinking
you a hero.
577
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,386
I thought you were
better than that.
578
00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:03,888
- I really did.
- (SIZZLING)
579
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:04,889
I smell s-- Leon,
580
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,558
- I smell something burning.
- (METAL CLATTERS)
581
00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:09,728
You better not be throwing
no spaghetti up in my ceiling.
582
00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:11,896
We ran out of spaghetti sauce,
so I had to use ketchup.
583
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,732
AUNTIE RAE: Boy,
what are you cooking over here?
584
00:21:13,732 --> 00:21:16,609
LEON: I'm doing the best I can
with just Heinz ketchup
and spaghetti!
585
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,111
You're still
pleading guilty, right?
586
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,529
- Oh, yeah.
- (SIZZLING)
587
00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:20,864
Good.
588
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:24,409
(SLURPS, EXHALES) Man!
589
00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:27,078
This woman's coffee. Have you
had this woman's coffee?
590
00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:28,705
It's amazing.
591
00:21:28,705 --> 00:21:31,207
You know, I wanted to ask her
where she got the beans, but...
592
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:35,420
I, uh...
It's gotta be the beans,
you know?
593
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:37,422
It's the beans,
like my old man used to say.
594
00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,090
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
595
00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,425
All about the beans.
596
00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:42,302
You don't have the beans,
you don't have the coffee.
597
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,637
(CHUCKLES) You like coffee,
Larry? Hmm?
598
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,723
Try this coffee. Have a sip
of this coffee, Larry.
599
00:21:46,723 --> 00:21:48,475
Good coffee
is all about the beans.
600
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:49,934
I'm gonna ask her
where she get these beans.
601
00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:51,811
You don't have the beans,
you don't have the coffee.
602
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:54,105
You want a cup of coffee, Larry?
Have a sip of this coffee.
603
00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:56,107
Have you had this coffee, Larry?
You like coffee, Larry?
604
00:21:56,107 --> 00:21:57,442
(SCREAMS)
605
00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:01,237
(GROANS) I c--
606
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:02,739
Can't do this anymore.
607
00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:03,948
What's wrong?
608
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:06,368
You remind me of someone
609
00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:08,536
I detest.
610
00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:11,623
Sorry.
611
00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:14,668
♪ (LIGHTHEARTED MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
612
00:22:14,668 --> 00:22:15,960
(DOOR SHUTS)
613
00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:18,463
How'd it go?
614
00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:21,007
(SIGHS) Fired the lawyer.
615
00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:22,425
Mocha Joe?
616
00:22:23,134 --> 00:22:24,427
Mocha Joe.
617
00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:28,014
Is it a million degrees
or is it my imagination?
618
00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:29,391
It's unbelievable.
619
00:22:30,308 --> 00:22:31,601
It's scorching.
620
00:22:36,439 --> 00:22:37,982
♪ (DRAMATIC WESTERN
MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
621
00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:40,193
LARRY: I cannot believe
this weather. Is it hot here?
622
00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:41,569
This isn't-- Crazy.
623
00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:43,613
It's like nothing
I've ever experienced.
624
00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:44,656
Yeah.
625
00:22:46,741 --> 00:22:48,993
Something you wanna
tell me, huh?
626
00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:53,164
- What?
- Where have you been?
627
00:22:53,164 --> 00:22:56,126
Um... well, I went to the,
uh, lawyer.
628
00:22:56,126 --> 00:22:57,460
- SUSIE: The lawyer?
- Mm-hmm.
629
00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:59,963
You went to the lawyer. Uh-huh.
630
00:22:59,963 --> 00:23:04,092
With a gift box,
you went to the fucking lawyer?
631
00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:05,510
Well, it was just a show of my
632
00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:06,720
- appreciation.
- Appreciation.
633
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,056
Oh, really? And how did
Perry Mason like his gift?
634
00:23:10,807 --> 00:23:11,558
Liked it.
635
00:23:11,558 --> 00:23:13,226
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, he liked it.
- Yeah.
636
00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:15,020
You are so full of shit,
both of you.
637
00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:19,315
'Cause I saw you on the video
up in the tree house
638
00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:20,775
taking that box out.
639
00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:24,070
What do you got?
Like a Georgia whore
640
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:25,780
who you're giving gifts to?
641
00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:26,698
No Georgia whore.
642
00:23:26,698 --> 00:23:28,783
Yeah. Well, who the fuck
was that gift for?
643
00:23:28,783 --> 00:23:31,536
I saw you all taking it out
and all, "Oh, look, I got it.
644
00:23:31,536 --> 00:23:34,039
I'm all excited."
And you two high fiving.
645
00:23:34,039 --> 00:23:36,374
- Who was the gift for?
- You.
646
00:23:36,374 --> 00:23:38,877
You think I'm gonna believe
that bullshit?
647
00:23:38,877 --> 00:23:40,086
Then where is it?
648
00:23:40,545 --> 00:23:41,838
I returned it.
649
00:23:42,339 --> 00:23:43,381
You returned it?
650
00:23:43,381 --> 00:23:45,008
It was expensive.
651
00:23:45,008 --> 00:23:47,093
- SUSIE: So what?
- Well, you--
652
00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:48,428
you liked the first one,
653
00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:49,971
so the second one
was unnecessary.
654
00:23:49,971 --> 00:23:51,848
SUSIE: You couldn't give me
two fucking gifts?
655
00:23:51,848 --> 00:23:53,141
What was it?
656
00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:54,267
A purse.
657
00:23:54,267 --> 00:23:56,394
SUSIE: So on my birthday,
658
00:23:56,394 --> 00:24:00,648
you spent your day
returning my birthday gift.
659
00:24:00,648 --> 00:24:03,068
Oh, that's
a wonderful use of time,
660
00:24:03,068 --> 00:24:04,486
both of you.
661
00:24:05,403 --> 00:24:06,571
Oh my God.
662
00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:09,074
Oh my God.
663
00:24:09,074 --> 00:24:10,825
What's going on here?
664
00:24:14,537 --> 00:24:16,081
What the fuck is this?
665
00:24:18,416 --> 00:24:19,626
Hair dye.
666
00:24:20,418 --> 00:24:21,544
All right, you two.
667
00:24:21,544 --> 00:24:23,922
You have really
gone too far this time.
668
00:24:23,922 --> 00:24:27,008
Go out and get me
a Black jockey right now!
669
00:24:27,008 --> 00:24:28,510
You better fucking find one.
670
00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:30,637
And I want that purse back too.
671
00:24:31,262 --> 00:24:32,430
It's Giuliani!
672
00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:34,182
No wonder I thought
he looked like an asshole.
673
00:24:34,182 --> 00:24:35,433
SUSIE: Just go!
674
00:24:35,433 --> 00:24:38,395
- Giuliani!
- Go! Go! Go!
675
00:24:38,395 --> 00:24:42,065
Now! It's my fucking birthday.
You're ruining it.
676
00:24:42,065 --> 00:24:45,610
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
677
00:24:47,612 --> 00:24:49,280
LARRY: All right, Leon.
Where do we go?
678
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,573
You gotta ride
a little further out
679
00:24:50,573 --> 00:24:51,783
if you wanna find one.
680
00:24:51,783 --> 00:24:53,284
All right. Well, direct us.
What should we do?
681
00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:54,452
LEON: Just keep fucking driving.
682
00:24:54,452 --> 00:24:56,287
I'll tell you where
to fucking turn.
683
00:24:57,664 --> 00:25:00,041
Look, this whole
Black lawn jockey shit
684
00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:01,501
is bullshit anyway.
685
00:25:01,501 --> 00:25:03,378
You know, it should be
something more respectable.
686
00:25:03,378 --> 00:25:05,630
Like a fucking Black lawn doctor
687
00:25:05,630 --> 00:25:07,924
with a stethoscope
around his fucking neck.
688
00:25:07,924 --> 00:25:08,800
Totally!
689
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,135
Giving motherfuckers
checkups and shit.
690
00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:11,970
- That's perfect.
- O-- or-- or a fucking lawyer
691
00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:13,972
- holding a briefcase and shit.
- LARRY: Yeah.
692
00:25:15,807 --> 00:25:17,475
Oh, look, right there.
Look, look, look, look.
693
00:25:17,475 --> 00:25:19,644
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's good.
694
00:25:19,644 --> 00:25:21,813
Hi, good afternoon.
I'm wondering, uh,
695
00:25:21,813 --> 00:25:24,149
if you might be interested
in selling your lawn jockey.
696
00:25:24,149 --> 00:25:25,525
No.
697
00:25:25,525 --> 00:25:26,818
(DOOR CLOSING)
698
00:25:26,818 --> 00:25:27,902
RESIDENT: No!
699
00:25:28,653 --> 00:25:29,946
Get out of here!
700
00:25:30,655 --> 00:25:32,073
(DOORBELL RINGS)
701
00:25:32,824 --> 00:25:35,160
- Yeah?
- Good afternoon.
702
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,661
I'm so sorry to bother you.
703
00:25:36,661 --> 00:25:38,872
- I recognize you.
- Ah.
704
00:25:38,872 --> 00:25:41,374
You're the wing nut
that came down here
705
00:25:41,374 --> 00:25:43,209
and is messing with
our elections.
706
00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:44,502
Yeah. Yep. That's me.
707
00:25:44,502 --> 00:25:47,005
What the hell you want
with my lawn jockey?
708
00:25:47,005 --> 00:25:50,342
My sister's an avowed racist,
and she's very sick.
709
00:25:50,342 --> 00:25:51,843
I thought this might
cheer her up.
710
00:25:53,845 --> 00:25:56,264
- That sounds familiar.
- LARRY: Nothing. No luck.
711
00:25:57,932 --> 00:26:00,894
Well, what are we gonna do?
712
00:26:01,728 --> 00:26:03,146
We gotta do something.
713
00:26:05,023 --> 00:26:06,107
Who you calling?
714
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,610
Oh, hell!
715
00:26:08,610 --> 00:26:10,695
Larry! What are you doing,
big guy?
716
00:26:10,695 --> 00:26:11,988
LARRY: Hey, Emmett.
717
00:26:11,988 --> 00:26:13,656
EMMETT: Hey, listen,
I gotta tell you something.
718
00:26:13,656 --> 00:26:15,825
I cut out dairy like you said,
719
00:26:15,825 --> 00:26:17,786
and everything is better
in my life.
720
00:26:17,786 --> 00:26:20,205
I feel like
a million damn dollars.
721
00:26:20,205 --> 00:26:21,748
That's-- that's fantastic.
722
00:26:21,748 --> 00:26:23,583
EMMETT:
It's all 'cause of you, Larry.
723
00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:26,211
I just can't thank you enough.
I wish there was a--
724
00:26:26,211 --> 00:26:28,254
a way I could repay you somehow.
725
00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:30,215
Actually...
726
00:26:30,215 --> 00:26:32,759
- Yeah. Be careful, it's fragile.
- (JEFF GRUNTS)
727
00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:35,845
Got it. Now slide it that way.
Pull the bottom down that way.
728
00:26:35,845 --> 00:26:39,099
- It's bottom heavy.
It should be fine like that.
- There we go. Thank you, Emmett.
729
00:26:39,099 --> 00:26:40,642
Yeah, no problem.
730
00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:42,352
- LARRY: Thanks so much.
- Hey, my pleasure.
731
00:26:42,352 --> 00:26:44,396
Larry, I'll tell you,
ever since I--
732
00:26:44,396 --> 00:26:47,482
I quit this lactose business,
I'm turning over a new leaf.
733
00:26:47,482 --> 00:26:49,025
That little statue I got
from the church?
734
00:26:49,025 --> 00:26:51,319
- LARRY: Yeah.
- That's the last thing
I'm ever stealing.
735
00:26:51,820 --> 00:26:53,238
Stay right there.
736
00:26:53,238 --> 00:26:54,406
EMMETT: What?
737
00:26:54,406 --> 00:26:56,783
- Don't you move.
- All right.
738
00:26:57,409 --> 00:26:58,702
The hell's this?
739
00:26:58,702 --> 00:27:00,995
- (PAPER BAG RUSTLING)
- Whoa!
740
00:27:00,995 --> 00:27:02,914
- What the hell is--
- Go ahead.
741
00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:03,873
This for me?
742
00:27:03,873 --> 00:27:07,002
- Try it on.
- You got-- (LAUGHING) Oh, shit!
743
00:27:07,002 --> 00:27:09,504
- There you go.
- Whoo! Good Lord.
744
00:27:09,504 --> 00:27:11,256
You know, you do
Larry David a solid,
745
00:27:11,256 --> 00:27:14,175
- that's what you get in return.
- God almighty, man.
746
00:27:14,884 --> 00:27:15,969
Woo-wee!
747
00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:18,638
Wow! You are a real
Southern gentleman.
748
00:27:18,638 --> 00:27:19,889
Fits perfect.
749
00:27:19,889 --> 00:27:21,933
- Great to meet you.
- Pleasure meetin' you.
750
00:27:22,517 --> 00:27:23,560
All right, boys.
751
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:25,770
Y'all drive safe, all right?
752
00:27:25,770 --> 00:27:29,232
You come back to Atlanta
any time. (LAUGHS)
753
00:27:29,232 --> 00:27:30,442
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
754
00:27:30,442 --> 00:27:32,652
Ah! Pastor, y'all having
a good time?
755
00:27:32,652 --> 00:27:34,029
BROOKE: Yes, Miss Rae.
756
00:27:34,029 --> 00:27:36,531
Listen here now. I want y'all
to eat as much as you can,
757
00:27:36,531 --> 00:27:38,116
- all right? (LAUGHS)
- Sure will.
758
00:27:38,116 --> 00:27:41,411
Chester, you better put
some more ribs on this plate.
759
00:27:41,411 --> 00:27:43,288
One rib.
What are you thinking, boy?
760
00:27:43,288 --> 00:27:45,415
- Yes, ma'am, I got ya.
- AUNTIE RAE: All right,
I'm coming.
761
00:27:45,415 --> 00:27:46,708
LARRY: God,
look at all these people.
762
00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:48,251
LEON: Yeah, church barbecue.
763
00:27:50,462 --> 00:27:52,464
- JEFF: All right. See you later.
- AUNTIE RAE: Hey, Leon!
764
00:27:52,464 --> 00:27:54,215
- Hey!
- Listen, is-- is Larry with you?
765
00:27:54,215 --> 00:27:56,760
- (LAUGHS) Larry's right there.
- AUNTIE RAE: Hey, Larry!
766
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,553
Come on, Larry.
Come on. Get out the car.
767
00:27:58,553 --> 00:28:01,222
- LARRY: Hey.
- Everybody, this is Larry David.
768
00:28:01,222 --> 00:28:03,058
Give him a big round
of applause, y'all.
769
00:28:03,058 --> 00:28:04,851
- (CROWD APPLAUDING)
- AUNTIE RAE: Say, "Hi, Larry."
770
00:28:04,851 --> 00:28:05,977
LARRY: Hello, everyone.
771
00:28:05,977 --> 00:28:08,521
Larry. See all these people?
They love you.
772
00:28:08,521 --> 00:28:10,190
I know you not gonna
disappoint them.
773
00:28:10,190 --> 00:28:11,775
- No, we-we--
- AUNTIE RAE: So come on. Uh-uh.
774
00:28:11,775 --> 00:28:13,568
Get out that car and get you
something to eat, boy.
775
00:28:13,568 --> 00:28:15,153
LARRY:
All right. Okay, I'm coming.
776
00:28:15,153 --> 00:28:16,154
All right. Okay.
777
00:28:16,154 --> 00:28:17,822
Give him another
big round of applause, y'all.
778
00:28:17,822 --> 00:28:21,159
- (CROWD CHEERING)
- Larry David. Yes!
779
00:28:21,159 --> 00:28:22,410
Least I could do.
780
00:28:22,410 --> 00:28:24,579
(LAUGHS) Oh, uh, Jeff, right?
781
00:28:24,579 --> 00:28:26,164
- JEFF: Yeah.
- Come on and get you some too.
782
00:28:26,164 --> 00:28:28,667
You know what? I want you
to meet Pastor Sherman, okay?
783
00:28:28,667 --> 00:28:30,627
Yeah. Hey, would it be okay
if I use the bathroom?
784
00:28:30,627 --> 00:28:32,337
Oh, absolutely.
Right through there. Go ahead.
785
00:28:36,383 --> 00:28:37,842
(COUGHS)
786
00:28:37,842 --> 00:28:40,095
Hey, you see this guy
right here?
787
00:28:40,095 --> 00:28:42,013
That does not look like
his jacket.
788
00:28:42,013 --> 00:28:44,766
- Let's light him up.
- (COUGHS)
789
00:28:47,394 --> 00:28:48,937
(POLICE SIREN BLARES)
790
00:28:48,937 --> 00:28:50,772
What the hell is this?
791
00:28:50,772 --> 00:28:52,524
You gotta be kidding me.
792
00:28:52,524 --> 00:28:54,025
Where you get this jacket, sir?
793
00:28:54,693 --> 00:28:56,569
What? It was a gift.
794
00:28:56,569 --> 00:28:58,988
A gift? Why is the tag
still on there, sir?
795
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:01,950
Honestly, I didn't know
it was on there.
796
00:29:01,950 --> 00:29:03,743
Let me see
your driver's license.
797
00:29:05,078 --> 00:29:05,870
Shit.
798
00:29:05,870 --> 00:29:09,374
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
799
00:29:14,421 --> 00:29:15,714
- Come with me.
- What?
800
00:29:15,714 --> 00:29:17,590
- You're under arrest.
- This is bullshit, man.
801
00:29:17,590 --> 00:29:19,175
What the fuck? Ow!
802
00:29:19,175 --> 00:29:21,678
I didn't fucking steal it!
- OFFICER: Get in the car, sir.
803
00:29:21,678 --> 00:29:23,847
- It was from my friend Larry.
- OFFICER: Yeah.
804
00:29:23,847 --> 00:29:26,808
Some crazy old man I met in jail
talking about almonds.
805
00:29:26,808 --> 00:29:28,518
Come on. Fuck!
806
00:29:28,518 --> 00:29:29,811
Hey, Jeff.
807
00:29:29,811 --> 00:29:31,604
How you enjoying them ribs?
808
00:29:31,604 --> 00:29:33,398
They got a kick to them.
You know that?
809
00:29:33,398 --> 00:29:35,984
- Ma'am, they're delightful.
- I'm glad you loving them.
810
00:29:35,984 --> 00:29:39,237
Chester, I need you to box up
some more of those ribs
811
00:29:39,237 --> 00:29:41,448
so that Jeff can take
them home with him.
812
00:29:41,448 --> 00:29:44,034
- Coming up.
- (AUNTIE RAE LAUGHS)
813
00:29:44,034 --> 00:29:46,161
Ah, Larry David. Larry David.
814
00:29:46,161 --> 00:29:47,996
- I'm Pastor Sherman.
- Pastor Sherman!
815
00:29:47,996 --> 00:29:49,539
- Pleasure to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
816
00:29:49,539 --> 00:29:50,832
(LAUGHS) Come on.
Let me introduce you
817
00:29:50,832 --> 00:29:52,375
- to the congregation.
- Oh, no, no.
818
00:29:52,375 --> 00:29:54,627
Uh, Saints, listen, listen.
819
00:29:54,627 --> 00:29:56,755
- GUEST: Listen up.
- PASTOR: This man!
820
00:29:56,755 --> 00:30:00,091
- (LARRY CHUCKLES)
- This man is an inspiration.
821
00:30:00,091 --> 00:30:02,927
- Oh, yes.
- It's gone a little overboard.
822
00:30:02,927 --> 00:30:04,179
You see, Larry David...
823
00:30:04,179 --> 00:30:06,473
Or-- or-- or should I call you
Larry Daniel?
824
00:30:06,473 --> 00:30:07,640
(CROWD AGREEING)
825
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:12,103
Because just like Daniel,
he walked into the lion's den
826
00:30:12,103 --> 00:30:13,271
without fear.
827
00:30:13,271 --> 00:30:15,690
You know what? I like the sound
of that. Larry Daniel.
828
00:30:15,690 --> 00:30:17,359
Maybe I'll change my last name.
829
00:30:17,359 --> 00:30:18,485
(CHEERING)
830
00:30:18,485 --> 00:30:21,112
PASTOR: You see, like Larry
is that powerful man today
831
00:30:21,112 --> 00:30:22,947
for the Black community
here in Atlanta.
832
00:30:22,947 --> 00:30:26,117
What the... Hey! Hey, hey!
833
00:30:26,117 --> 00:30:30,830
Oh, no. Don't, don't, don't,
don't, don't, don't. No!
834
00:30:30,830 --> 00:30:32,040
(CROWD GASPS)
835
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:33,667
CHESTER: What the fuck?
836
00:30:33,667 --> 00:30:37,629
(ANGRY CLAMOR)
837
00:30:37,629 --> 00:30:39,506
CHESTER: Motherfucker's
got a lawn jockey!
838
00:30:40,215 --> 00:30:42,342
What is wrong with you, man?
839
00:30:42,342 --> 00:30:43,593
It makes me sick!
840
00:30:43,593 --> 00:30:45,637
LARRY: Oh, no, no, no!
841
00:30:45,637 --> 00:30:48,640
(ALL SHOUTING)
842
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:50,141
Get out of here, man.
843
00:30:50,141 --> 00:30:52,143
(SHOUTING)
844
00:30:52,143 --> 00:30:55,480
- LARRY: Hey, hey! It's not mine!
- CHESTER: Bye, Larry!
845
00:30:56,314 --> 00:30:58,149
Mr. David, uh,
you've been charged
846
00:30:58,149 --> 00:31:01,027
with one count of obstruction
of the election process
847
00:31:01,027 --> 00:31:02,278
in the state of Georgia.
848
00:31:02,278 --> 00:31:04,072
And if you're found
guilty at trial,
849
00:31:04,072 --> 00:31:06,157
you'll be subject
to a fine of 10,000 dollars
850
00:31:06,157 --> 00:31:07,951
and up to a year in prison.
851
00:31:08,493 --> 00:31:09,577
How do you plead, sir?
852
00:31:10,245 --> 00:31:11,246
(SIGHS)
853
00:31:11,246 --> 00:31:15,000
♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
854
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,628
- Not guilty.
- PASTOR: Oh!
855
00:31:18,628 --> 00:31:21,047
- (CONGREGATION CHEERING)
- Now, that's
the Larry David I know!
856
00:31:21,047 --> 00:31:24,175
Trial set for 90 days hence.
Next case!
857
00:31:24,175 --> 00:31:26,803
That's why I already made
a big ole pot
858
00:31:26,803 --> 00:31:28,638
of those
put-yo-foot-in-it greens,
859
00:31:28,638 --> 00:31:32,684
and I got some of that shotgun
shoot-it-'fore-they-run-now
860
00:31:32,684 --> 00:31:34,310
- spicy fried chicken!
- (CHEERING)
861
00:31:34,310 --> 00:31:36,187
- PASTOR: You know I'm going.
- AUNTIE RAE: We going back
to the house!
862
00:31:36,187 --> 00:31:39,649
♪ (THEME MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
863
00:32:44,923 --> 00:32:46,591
♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪