1 00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:07,799 ♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM" THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 2 00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:11,928 ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 3 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,763 -(GRUNTS) -♪ (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 4 00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:17,767 (GRUNTS) Yeah, that's it. That's the spot. That's good. 5 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,978 -Cheryl tight same spot. -Yeah. 6 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:23,648 -Only Chunhua can fix. -All right. I hope so. 7 00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:27,235 Cheryl so nice. She's so pretty. 8 00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:30,655 Cheryl too good for you! (LAUGHS) 9 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:34,367 And Ted Danson. He's handsome and flexible. 10 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:36,953 -Oh, really? -CHUNHUA: Yes. 11 00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,247 Don't be jealous! 12 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:42,250 You brittle like wood! You are so skinny. 13 00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,794 -Why you no eat? -I eat. I eat plenty. 14 00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,504 Your skin so dry. 15 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,757 -You drink water? -Yeah, I drink water. 16 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,050 Not enough! 17 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,510 (SPLUTTERS, SCOFFS) This is... 18 00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:57,140 Oh, yeah, that's good. I like that. 19 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:59,059 -That's nice. -Finish! 20 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:01,686 -♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪ -LARRY DAVID: Huh? That's it? 21 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:02,979 What about this? 22 00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,355 You're done? 23 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,567 You want happy ending? 24 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,194 No, I don't-- (CHUCKLES) Happy end-- 25 00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:10,570 No. You've only done 35 minutes. 26 00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:13,365 -I paid for an hour. -No! No, no, no, no. 27 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,326 -I don't want a happy ending! -No! No, no happy ending! 28 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,078 I don't want a happy ending! I just want an ending! 29 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:20,205 -No, no, no. I no happy ending! -Are you nuts? 30 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:22,248 -What are you doing? -You mess with wrong person. 31 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,668 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 32 00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:26,169 (SIGHS) 33 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:29,506 The woman's out of her mind. That's all I said. "That's it?" 34 00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:31,257 She gave me 35 minutes. 35 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:32,634 You know, and the whole massage she's going... 36 00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,176 (IMITATES CHUNHUA) "Oh, you too skinny. 37 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,929 You need to eat. You have bad skin." 38 00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,180 So, she's insulting you the whole time-- 39 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,556 She's insulting me the whole time, 40 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,767 and then she threatens me at the end 41 00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:41,851 for something I didn't even do. 42 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:43,478 -That's scary shit. -LARRY: Scary. 43 00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:44,896 I'm a little nervous. You know, she's... 44 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,898 -she's kind of off her rocker. -JEFF GREENE: You know what? 45 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:48,983 Cheryl was always talking about her, 46 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,235 but I never used her. 47 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:51,485 I had a hunch about her. 48 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,530 If you had a hunch, why didn't you say something? 49 00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:56,491 Well, a hunch can be wrong, so I keep my hunches to myself. 50 00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:58,283 LARRY: No. A hunch is something that's shared. 51 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,161 Otherwise, it's just a thought in your head. 52 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,288 A hunch is like a sneeze, gotta let that shit out. 53 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:04,290 -Exactly. Eleanor Roosevelt... -Yeah? 54 00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:05,709 ...what if she had a hunch about Pearl Harbor? 55 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,293 Is she supposed to keep that to herself, 56 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,544 or should she tell her husband? 57 00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:09,753 (IMITATES ELEANOR ROOSEVELT) "Franklin, 58 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:12,674 I have a very bad feeling that something awful 59 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:15,677 is going to happen at Pearl Harbor tomorrow. 60 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,137 You must get the ships out." 61 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,389 Could you imagine if she told Franklin the day after? 62 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:20,890 (IMITATES ELEANOR) "Franklin, I had a hunch about that." 63 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,101 (IMITATES FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT) "Eleanor, you stupid twat." 64 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,020 (CHUCKLES) "Why didn't you say something?" 65 00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:27,063 -You're rewriting history. -You had no hunch. 66 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,314 No, you didn't have no fucking hunch. Know why? 67 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,774 'Cause your fucking shoulders didn't go up. 68 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:30,859 Your shoulders didn't move. 69 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:33,153 And that mannerism's only good for hunches and shit. 70 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:34,279 See? I had a hunch. 71 00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:36,322 You can't use that shit for, "Fuck you." 72 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,699 Or, you know, "You cheated on me. 73 00:02:37,781 --> 00:02:39,534 You ain't shit. Don't come back here no more." 74 00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,536 -It's exclusive to the hunch? -LEON BLACK: Fuck yeah, it is. 75 00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:42,787 You don't use that shit nowhere else. 76 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,248 Gentlemen. How's everything tasting over here? 77 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,125 -I'm the owner. -Great salad. 78 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,418 Are you Ollie or Al? 79 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:51,212 Actually, those are made up deli owner characters. 80 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,465 -My name is Lorenzo. -Oh, okay. 81 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:54,799 LORENZO: Let me know if you need anything, huh? 82 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:55,633 -Thank you. -LARRY: Will do. 83 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,385 Fucking berries are fucking delicious. 84 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:58,595 You know what they say, the darker the berry, 85 00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,638 -the sweeter the juice. -What do they say? 86 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,016 Darker the berry, meaning the darker you are, 87 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:04,934 -the sweeter your juice is. -What? 88 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,770 If a cannibal ate me, that motherfucker would be like, 89 00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,730 "Mm! (SMACKS LIPS) Wow, this motherfucker's delicious." 90 00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:11,107 You're saying that cannibals prefer Black people 91 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,650 -to White people? -Fuck yeah, they do. 92 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,445 I think he's got a point, 'cause Dahmer mostly ate 93 00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:17,530 -Black people, did he not? -Yep. He did. 94 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,157 If the motherfucker did, he'd have to add 95 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,492 condiments on you motherfuckers. 96 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:21,659 -Like, shit... (MUTTERS) -LARRY: Yeah. 97 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,495 Yeah, you need condiments for White people. 98 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:26,831 Hey. Ho-ho-ho-ho. I got some great news. 99 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,459 I got a call from Bruce Springsteen's manager. 100 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:33,213 Bruce Springsteen is coming to town on his farewell tour, 101 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:36,216 and he wants to meet you. 102 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,218 -He wants to meet me? -Yeah. 103 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:39,678 -What? -JEFF: Yeah. 104 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:40,762 Wow. 105 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:43,348 He was really moved by you taking on that voter law. 106 00:03:43,430 --> 00:03:44,516 (CHUCKLES) Get the hell out of here. 107 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:45,725 -Are you good with that? -LARRY: Yeah. 108 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:48,019 Great. It's exciting. I'll call his manager. 109 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,228 -(CHUCKLES) -Fantastic. 110 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:52,982 -The Boss. -♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 111 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,253 LARRY: Hey, what if I walked like this? 112 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,379 You start walking like that, man, 113 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:15,839 they gotta give you your own fucking lane. 114 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,382 That way it won't throw regular motherfuckers off. You know? 115 00:04:17,464 --> 00:04:19,259 -This is, like, good exercise. -Yeah. 116 00:04:19,341 --> 00:04:21,386 -And I'm making progress. -I like that shit. 117 00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:22,595 -Huh? -You're moving along, 118 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,055 people see it, everybody'll start doing it. 119 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,390 It could catch on. 120 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,975 And then they'll add you to the evolution of man chart. 121 00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:28,601 -(LAUGHS) -Like motherfuckers who walk normal, 122 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:29,894 -and then all of a sudden, at the end... -Yeah. 123 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,604 ...like modern day motherfuckers walk like this. 124 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,398 -(LAUGHS) Right. -Next thing you know. You see? 125 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,733 You go down in history. (LAUGHS) 126 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,860 Shit. Let's get the fuck out of here. 127 00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:38,987 -Fuck you doing, man? -Trying to get the zipper up. 128 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,572 -(CAR DOOR SHUTS) -LEON: Do that shit in the car, man. 129 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:42,240 It's easier to do it standing. 130 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,825 -You gotta jiggle it. -Yeah, I'm jiggling. 131 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:46,453 -You ain't jiggling right. -What is it with these zippers? 132 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:49,414 -You're not a good jiggler. -(LAUGHS) Larry. 133 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,082 -Hey, Les. -How's it going? 134 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,793 Eh, you know, I can't get this zipper up here, but whatever. 135 00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,837 I haven't seen you since Young Larry. 136 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,423 Yeah. Oh, hey, Leon, this is Les McCrabb. 137 00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:01,259 He directed two of the Young Larry episodes. 138 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,594 -My man. -LES MCCRABB: Anyway, 139 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:03,928 I just wanna tell you that my episodes 140 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,180 have had tremendous feedback. 141 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,931 People have been saying they don't look like 142 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,266 any of the other episodes. 143 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,101 Yeah, they did have a-- a-- 144 00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:11,269 a distinctive look. 145 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,480 I only ended up doing the two episodes, 146 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:17,025 -but I'd love to do some more. -Oh. Um, well-- 147 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,444 Between you and I, I think I'm gonna be busy anyway. 148 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:22,697 I'm in talks about this, um, Waze app feature. 149 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,449 A movie, uh, based on the Waze app? 150 00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:25,825 -LES: Yeah. -Okay. 151 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,994 -Ron Howard's people. -LARRY: Uh-huh. 152 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,287 A guy called Jeff Donat. 153 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,164 -Jeff Donat. -Right. Jeff Donat. 154 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:32,290 -Jeff Donat. -LES: Yes, 155 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,582 he's in charge of the whole thing. 156 00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:35,043 -Do you know him? -Don't think so. No. 157 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:38,463 I'm told he's way up there. He works with Ken Puffin. 158 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,298 -Nice. -Sounds like a good idea? 159 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,508 No. Not really. 160 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:42,676 I didn't really wanna talk about that. 161 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,637 What I do wanna talk about is my manuscript. 162 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:48,306 Hang A Lantern On It. 163 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,474 -LES: Hang A Lantern On It. -Yes. 164 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:52,143 -Did you like it? -Oh, uh, I loved it. 165 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,561 Which bit did you like the best? 166 00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:55,146 Yeah, I-- I mean, there were-- 167 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,439 Oh, my God, there's so many. 168 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:59,150 We need to talk about it because I need your opinions 169 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,485 before it goes to the publishers. 170 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,070 So, it'd be great if you could give me 171 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,238 any ideas that you have. 172 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,698 Yeah, well, no, we'll discuss the book. 173 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:05,949 It's great. (CHUCKLES) It really is. 174 00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,034 Well, we could now. I mean, there's a seat here. 175 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,369 You know what? I can't do it now. 176 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:12,789 I-- I-- You know, um, I gotta take my friend. 177 00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,499 He's getting a, uh, shingles vaccine. 178 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:17,252 -We're kind of late. So... -Does he have shingles? 179 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:18,753 No, no, it's to prevent the shingles. 180 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:21,006 It's just recommended. You should get one too. 181 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:24,426 Well, you should get one. You know what shingles means? 182 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,635 -It's herpes. -LARRY: Oh! 183 00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:27,178 -What the fuck? -Okay. Yeah. 184 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,430 And you've been sat in the car with him? 185 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,597 He doesn't have it. 186 00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,141 I wouldn't get back in that car. 187 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,308 Wait a fucking minute. 188 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,269 -It can kill men your age. -Food for thought. 189 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,187 Thing is, Larry, time is of the essence 190 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,731 with this book. I'm about to go away, 191 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,108 and where I'm going, there's no mobile phone, 192 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,359 so I'll be off the grid, as they say. 193 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,153 -Oh. Where are you going? -A yoga retreat. 194 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,196 I plan to get a complete clear out. 195 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,489 Have you had a complete clear out? 196 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:47,615 No. What is a clear out? 197 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,367 Let's just say it's a very delicate matter 198 00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,911 where nothing is left to the imagination. 199 00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,038 I'm imagining. 200 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,623 There's an old saying at home, "Every hole is a goal." 201 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:56,624 Mm. 202 00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:58,126 Do you want a hand with this zipper? 203 00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,252 -Oh. -LES: Hold this. 204 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,379 What? Uh, you don't really have to. 205 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,672 -No, I don't mind at all. -Les. Uh, Les. 206 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,341 -You gotta jiggle that shit. -There we go. 207 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:05,592 -Oh. Oh, wow. -(CHUCKLES) Whoa. 208 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,635 -(CHUCKLES) Hey! Look at that. -There we are. Yeah. 209 00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,971 -Good job there, Les. Yeah. -Look. Don't forget to call me. 210 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,223 -I'm only here for a week. -Motherfucker. 211 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,391 Absolutely. I'll call you. 212 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:14,768 LEON: Hey, go fuck yourself, Crabby. Jeez. 213 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,436 Oh, my God. That's the last guy in the world 214 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,271 -I wanted to run into. -What was that, man? 215 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,315 He's the worst director we ever had. 216 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:21,566 I'd never hire him again. 217 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,109 -You read his book? -No, I didn't read his book. 218 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,652 But you know what? Now I have to. 219 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,571 If you weren't spending so much time on the zipper, 220 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,114 we would've been fucking out of here by now. 221 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,240 It's true. The zipper delayed me. 222 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,117 We would've been gone. I never would've run into him. 223 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,286 And being feeble didn't allow you 224 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,580 to fucking get that zipper back on track. 225 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:36,664 Wait... Wait a second. Wait a second. 226 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,457 So you're saying that I couldn't get 227 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,877 that zipper up because I'm enfeebled? 228 00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,837 Feeble motherfuckers don't even know they fucking feeble. 229 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,464 -Okay, you know what? -LEON: Hmm? 230 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,590 When we get back to the house, 231 00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:46,925 you're gonna put this sweater on. 232 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,593 I wanna see you put that zipper up. 233 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:49,844 I'll zip it up. You know how many times 234 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:51,429 I've had to throw my pants on real quick? 235 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,556 -Bullshit. -And the lady's husband shows up 236 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:54,641 or her boyfriend shows up, 237 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:55,725 I gotta put that motherfucker on quick. 238 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,560 I never derail. You got zipper karma. 239 00:07:57,602 --> 00:08:00,105 You fuck with the zipper, and the zipper fuck with you. 240 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:02,816 LARRY: Ah, can't believe I gotta read that book now. 241 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:06,736 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 242 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:08,947 -Oh, okay. -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 243 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,365 You must be Larry's new lawyer, huh? 244 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,075 Mm-hmm. I'm Sibby Sanders. 245 00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:13,535 Hey, Sibby. Good to meet you. 246 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:16,287 -Yeah. My name's Leon Black. -Hi, Leon. 247 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,539 I like that lipstick you got on. 248 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:18,623 -Thank you. -LEON: Yeah. 249 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,542 That shit's beautiful on your mouth. 250 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,419 -Hmm. -Mm. What's it called? 251 00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,963 -It's called, "Don't go there." -Okay. 252 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,798 -Okay. I see what's up. -SIBBY SANDERS: Mm-hmm. 253 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,383 (LEON CHUCKLES) You need anything? 254 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:29,759 -SIBBY: No, I'm good. Thank you. -LEON: Yeah. 255 00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:30,802 Let me ask you a question. 256 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,136 In that bungalow I got back there, 257 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,972 I had a lot of hit and runs. You know what I'm saying? 258 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,808 So, if you ever wanna get in an accident, 259 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:40,645 that could be, uh, T-boned, sideswiped, head on, 260 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,731 or rear ended. You feel me? 261 00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:44,524 -Mm-hmm. -(LEON CHUCKLES) 262 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:48,445 Well, look at you. You look great. 263 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:49,988 (CHUCKLES) Really? It's not me. It's just, uh-- 264 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,157 -SIBBY: I love it. -The jury's not gonna buy this. 265 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,659 -SIBBY: It's perfect. -They're gonna see through this act. 266 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,161 -I feel like a phony. -How does he look? 267 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,621 Like a mortician. Like you 'bout to bury a motherfucker. 268 00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,957 -Don't listen to him, Larry. -So you guys have met? 269 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,625 You ever have hot chocolate in the house again, 270 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,002 you let me know. (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 271 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,129 We got a little pending hit and run case we're working on. 272 00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:08,173 -You know? (CLEARS THROAT) -Okay. Get the fuck out of here. 273 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,841 -Get lost. -See you later. 274 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:10,925 He lives here? 275 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,510 Yeah. I'm so sorry. But I don't know what he said, 276 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,678 but I'm sure it wasn't pleasant. 277 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,138 I'm used to it. It's okay. 278 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:18,433 So, the trial is in a few weeks, and it's gonna be more about you 279 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,310 and how you're perceived than the facts. 280 00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,437 The facts are indisputable. You gave her the water. 281 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,813 So it's gonna come down to the jury saying, 282 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,732 "Do we like Larry or do we not like Larry?" 283 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,650 Well, if it's coming down to that... 284 00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,361 -Mm-hmm. -...it's no contest. 285 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,487 -Okay? -That's right. 286 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,113 -(DOORBELL RINGING) -Not in that suit. 287 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:35,200 -LARRY: Leon, will you get that? -LEON: I got it! 288 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,785 And in terms of being likable, 289 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,578 you know what my mother used to say? 290 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:39,621 "What's not to like?" 291 00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:42,374 Larry, did you ask my masseuse 292 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,042 -for a hand job? -LARRY: What? 293 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:44,876 Oh, shit. 294 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,920 -LARRY: No! -She's not a sex worker. 295 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,463 She's a masseuse. She's a professional woman. 296 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,715 -Never, never did that. No. -Larry. 297 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,801 -Is this true? -I didn't do that, okay? 298 00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,052 -She misinter-- -CHERYL HINES: It's so disrespectful. 299 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,970 I didn't do that! Cheryl, she misinter-- 300 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,847 -It's bullshit. This is-- -Hey, Larry. Don't talk to her like that. 301 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:58,932 That's a woman right there. 302 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,016 -No, that's not-- -Thank you. 303 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,393 That's my ex-wife. That's not a woman. 304 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:02,936 -Yeah. -By the way, I'm Cheryl. 305 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,646 Sibby Sanders. I'm his lawyer. 306 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:05,897 -Oh. Good luck. -SIBBY: Mm-hmm. 307 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,400 This whole thing's a misunderstanding. Okay? 308 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:12,278 She gave me a massage, and then she stopped after 35 minutes, 309 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:15,824 and I went, "That's it?" And she misinterpreted it. 310 00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:18,618 True or not true, this is an ugly accusation 311 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:21,705 at the worst possible time. You gotta fix this. 312 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,248 You gotta handle this before the trial. 313 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,916 She is very upset, Larry. 314 00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,585 -(SIGHS) -Maybe I should go over there 315 00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:29,754 and talk to her and make sure she's even qualified 316 00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:31,256 to be giving hand jobs to people. 317 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,133 I don't think that's necessary. 318 00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,469 Does she like Bruce Springsteen? 319 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,805 I-- Well-- Who doesn't like Bruce Springsteen? (CHUCKLES) 320 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,306 -I mean, I can ask her. -LARRY: Okay. All right. 321 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:41,641 I'm seeing him tomorrow. 322 00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,560 I could introduce her to him, maybe. 323 00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,520 Why are you seeing Bruce Springsteen? 324 00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:48,106 Eh, he wants to meet me because of, uh, Atlanta. 325 00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:50,650 So you're gonna introduce her to Bruce? 326 00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:51,985 You know, I'll try. 327 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,154 Wow, that would be big. That would be nice. 328 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:57,365 -That would be really nice. -And hopefully that'll fix it. 329 00:10:57,449 --> 00:10:58,616 And if Chunhua's gon' be there, 330 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,703 then maybe Bruce Springsteen would like a hand job. 331 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,080 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 332 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,013 Oh, my God. 333 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:24,809 He changed his rating from a C to an A. 334 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,186 -You're kidding me. -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 335 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,228 And you saw him do it? 336 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,647 -I saw him do it. -He should've said B. 337 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,775 If he said B, it's not that far from A. 338 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,902 -You'd eat in a B? -A B? Yeah, I'd eat at a B. 339 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,403 Springsteen eats at a B. 340 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:36,821 -(LAUGHS) -I'm shocked. 341 00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:38,656 I gotta tell you, I'm completely shocked. 342 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:39,783 -Well, B's not that bad. -LARRY: Yeah. 343 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,534 I've eaten at a thousand and one Bs. 344 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,536 LARRY: I mean, I'm eating here. I don't even know what this is. 345 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,871 What's the rating on this dump? 346 00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,165 Bruce, my house is an A-plus. Trust me. 347 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,000 -You know what I'm thinking? -Hmm? 348 00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:50,669 I'm thinking I should call the health department 349 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:53,588 -on this restaurant. -No, don't get involved. 350 00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:54,631 Why? Is that squealing? 351 00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:55,715 I don't even think that's squealing. 352 00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,592 I don't know if it's full-tilt squealing, 353 00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,260 but it's... it's squealish. 354 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,762 You could be eating in that restaurant, 355 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,682 getting sick, and dying because it's a C. 356 00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:04,724 I could've saved your life. 357 00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,101 I know one thing about Larry David. 358 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:08,687 Larry David is a man that gets involved. 359 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,313 Thank you, Boss. May I call you Boss? 360 00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:11,690 -BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: Yeah. Sure, sure. -Eh. 361 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,025 Hey, the thing in Georgia, the balls it took 362 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,819 to put yourself in that situation. 363 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,862 I told myself, "I wanna meet Larry David. 364 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,948 -This guy is a hero of mine." -Thank you. 365 00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:21,199 SUSIE GREENE: Now, you know, he knew the woman. 366 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,535 It didn't take a whole lot of balls, really. 367 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:24,869 The woman in Atlanta? 368 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,621 -SUSIE: Yeah. He knew her. -That you gave the water to? 369 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:27,789 Why don't you mind your own fucking business? 370 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,374 -Who cares? -SUSIE: I'm just saying. 371 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:30,959 -It's just a fact. -JEFF: Talk about squealing. 372 00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:32,377 I still know I'm getting arrested. 373 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,211 I gave her the water. 374 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,587 You knew you were gonna be arrested? 375 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,214 -Well, I knew it was against the law. -(CELL PHONE CHIMES) 376 00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:38,258 -Yeah. -JEFF: And you didn't care. 377 00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:40,760 (SIGHS) Les McCrabb. 378 00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:42,929 This guy sent me a manuscript of his book. 379 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,390 He asked me if I read it. I said I did, I loved it, 380 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,558 and now, he's calling me 381 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:48,226 to have an in-depth conversation about it. 382 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,478 (LAUGHS) Same thing happened to me. 383 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:54,399 A musician gave me a demo of a band that he liked 384 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:55,650 and thought could go somewhere. 385 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:58,069 I get the tape. I put it on for two seconds, I took it off. 386 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,821 -I never listened to the rest of it. -Who was this? 387 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,239 I don't wanna say. You know, I mean, we're friends. 388 00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:02,615 -LARRY: Who was it? -No, we're friends. I don't wanna... 389 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,451 -You can tell me. Boss, come on. -BRUCE: I don't wanna say. 390 00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,578 -LARRY: Come on. Come on, Boss. -(HESITATES) It was Don Henley. 391 00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:08,079 -Don Henley. -BRUCE: And now, 392 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,790 I'm self-conscious if I get a phone call from him 393 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:11,833 or if I see him somewhere. 394 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,376 Sure, yeah. Yeah. I would avoid him 395 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,419 for the rest of my life. 396 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,921 That's... That's the situation you've got yourself 397 00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,423 -into with Mr. McCrabb... -Yeah. Yeah. 398 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,467 -...or whatever his name is. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Les McCrabb. 399 00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,886 -Yeah. -That is great news. 400 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,221 God. Farewell tour 401 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,515 -completely sold out. -(LAUGHS) 402 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:28,725 KEN MORRIS: Isn't that awesome? 403 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:29,768 -Hey. -Congratulations. 404 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:30,727 -Thank you. Thank you. -That's great. 405 00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:31,853 -Yeah. -Thank you very much. 406 00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,855 Larry, good to see you again. 407 00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:35,148 Again? 408 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,232 I'm sorry. I do this all the time. 409 00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:38,526 I forget that I haven't told people. 410 00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:42,030 It's been like 20, 25 years. I used to work at Universal 411 00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:45,825 when you were at Seinfeld, and, uh, I used to be Kendra. 412 00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:49,287 And now, I'm Ken. Remember Kendra? 413 00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:50,372 Mor... 414 00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:52,374 Mor... 415 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,084 Kendra Morris? 416 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:56,002 (CHUCKLES) Kendra Morris. Yeah. 417 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,838 Hey. Oh. Wow. 418 00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,298 I don't know if you guys know this, 419 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,134 -but Larry and I used to hook up. -Eh. (CHUCKLES) 420 00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:04,761 KEN: Let's just say it. Let's just say it. 421 00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,846 -LARRY: Sure, yeah. Yeah, yeah. -It's no big deal. It's no big deal. 422 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,431 Sure. When you were Kendra. Yeah. 423 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:09,307 We had some great times. 424 00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:11,434 Yeah. Yeah. Good times. Good times. 425 00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:14,312 It's crazy you guys haven't seen each other in so long. 426 00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,773 Wait a second. Wait a second. That... That's my water. 427 00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:19,150 -I don't think so. -I'm 100 percent positive 428 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,236 that's mine. I-- You know, I follow my water 429 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,904 like it's a three-card monte game. 430 00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,781 I put my water down 431 00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:26,074 where I can comfortably reach it. 432 00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:28,493 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But as you can see, this is-- 433 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,829 It's within my hash marks. 434 00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,330 It's in your hash marks? 435 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:35,125 -It's within my hash marks. -All right, got it. 436 00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:36,167 -This one's fine. -Yeah. 437 00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,794 -I'm fine. -Yeah. That's... 438 00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,295 It's so good to see you, Larry. 439 00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:42,465 It is crazy how long it's been since we've seen each other. 440 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:43,383 -LARRY: Yeah. -You look great. 441 00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:45,760 -Oh, that's so nice. -Still a sexy beast. 442 00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:47,220 -(LAUGHS) -Look at you. Look at you. 443 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,888 -Doesn't he look great, you guys? -Yeah. 444 00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:51,599 You-- You've changed, uh, quite a lot. 445 00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:52,976 -KEN: Yeah. Yeah. -Yeah. 446 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,061 Some people say that I'm as hot as a man as I was a woman. 447 00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:56,062 -Uh. -KEN: So... 448 00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:57,605 -Eh... -KEN: This guy. 449 00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,816 We had this little thing. I don't know what it was. 450 00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:01,234 Larry would come over to my place-- 451 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,987 You know, nobody's really interested in reminiscing 452 00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:06,740 and going over this stuff. It's boring, really. You know. 453 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,074 -It's not boring. -I am. I'm interested. 454 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:09,492 (CHUCKLES) I wanna hear a little more about this. 455 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,119 KEN: Do you remember this? You'd come over, 456 00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:15,165 and every time we were intimate, we would have sex on the floor. 457 00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:16,249 -(GROANS) -On the floor? 458 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,500 -KEN: Yeah. -I'll tell you one thing. 459 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:18,585 (SPLUTTERS) Sorry. 460 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:21,046 I didn't make you out for a floor fucker. (CHUCKLES) 461 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,006 Why'd you wanna have sex on the floor, Larr? 462 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,549 Because if you have sex on the floor, 463 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,551 nobody wants to hang out on the floor afterwards, 464 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,887 so you can, you know, put your coat on and go home. 465 00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,847 So, you don't have to bond or, you know, 466 00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:32,766 talk or cuddle afterwards, yeah. 467 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,059 LARRY: All right, so what? 468 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,977 Who wants to talk to somebody you've had sex with? 469 00:15:36,061 --> 00:15:38,313 I'm sure there was cuddling before, though. 470 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,023 Oh, yeah, when Larry wanted something, 471 00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:42,400 Larry was real cuddly. Weren't you, Larry? 472 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,652 And then, uh, afterwards, nah, not so much. 473 00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:47,739 It's a small world, Larry. You and Ken sleeping together? 474 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,075 No. No. No. 475 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,952 I slept with Kendra... 476 00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:54,746 not Ken. 477 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:57,415 -Kendra is Ken. -Kendra is not Ken. 478 00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,751 -No, Kendra's Ken. -Kendra's not Ken. 479 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:02,587 -Kendra's Ken. -I am Ken. 480 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,631 You had sex with me. 481 00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,299 Ken is Kendra. Kendra is Ken. 482 00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:09,969 Ken is Ken, Kendra is Kendra, 483 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:12,472 and never the twain shall meet. 484 00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:14,099 Oh, we've met. 485 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,559 I'm Ken, and we banged it out. 486 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,271 Hey, this was fun. 487 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,731 I'm glad when I came out here 488 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,775 -I got a chance to say hello. Time to hit it? -KEN: Yeah. 489 00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:25,610 -Yeah. Let's get going. -BRUCE: Think we're gonna hit it. 'Kay. 490 00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:26,486 -Nice to meet you all. -Yeah. 491 00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,196 -Nice to meet you. -LARRY: Nice. Yeah. 492 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:29,864 -See you, Larry. -LARRY: Good to see you again. 493 00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:31,157 SUSIE: Wait. You're leaving already? 494 00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:32,575 We gotta go. I-- We got a thing. 495 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,369 -I'm sorry. -SUSIE: We had dessert and everything. 496 00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,204 -JEFF: All right, thanks for coming by. -LARRY: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 497 00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:37,539 -Pleasure. -I promise you. 498 00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,833 -SUSIE: We have more food. -I will never mention this 499 00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:42,002 -again, ever. -SUSIE: Can I help you? 500 00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:43,837 Oh, I'm Chunhua for Larry. 501 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,130 -LARRY: Yeah. Yeah. -For Larry? 502 00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,298 This is, uh-- This is Bruce. This is Chunhua. 503 00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:50,969 -BRUCE: Oh, hi. -(GASPS, GIGGLES) 504 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,012 -SUSIE: Bye. -LARRY: Yeah. 505 00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:54,931 -BRUCE: Bye-bye. -What is that, Larry? 506 00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:56,933 -What do you mean? -That is not introduction. 507 00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,268 That was an introduction. I introduced him. 508 00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,603 I said, Bruce, this is Chunhua. He said hello. 509 00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:03,815 But no handshake, no talk, not even picture! 510 00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:04,983 I never said anything about a picture. 511 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,818 I said I'd introduce you. I introduced you. 512 00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,987 No introduction! You fail! You fail! 513 00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:10,488 -LARRY: I didn't fail! -You have nice house. 514 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,906 I didn't-- Was that not an introduction? 515 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,784 -(DOOR SLAMMING) -It was not a good introduction. 516 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:17,037 -LARRY: It was an introduction. -You bringing these crazy fucking people 517 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,872 into my house? Who the hell was she? 518 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,790 Oh, well, she's a ma-- masseuse. 519 00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:21,833 You know what? Get the fuck out. 520 00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:23,126 You make Bruce leave early. 521 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,711 You bring some crazy broad in here. 522 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,421 -Just go. I've had it with you today. -Fine. Fine. 523 00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:29,215 -I don't need to stay anymore. -SUSIE: No, you don't. 524 00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,592 -What are you doing? -I gotta zip up 525 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,886 -before I go out. -What are you, six years old? 526 00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:34,012 You can't do your fucking zipper? 527 00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:35,513 All right, I'm going! 528 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:38,183 Oh, hey. Got it. 529 00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:40,852 -SUSIE: Good boy. -LARRY: Drop dead. 530 00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:44,606 -♪ ("SYMPHONY NO. 5" BY BEETHOVEN PLAYING) ♪ -( COUGHS, SNIFFS) 531 00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:51,321 (COUGHS) 532 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,125 -(SIGHS) -(CELL PHONE RINGING) 533 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:05,919 -Hey. -I have COVID. 534 00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:07,337 -You do? -LARRY: Yeah. 535 00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:09,506 I had a little sore throat, so I figured I'd take a test. 536 00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,174 -JEFF: What'd it say? -Positive. 537 00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:12,509 -Do you have two red lines? -LARRY: Yes. 538 00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,969 It shows the two red lines. Two red lines. 539 00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:16,680 I fucking hate the two red lines. 540 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:19,015 Anyway, you better take a test, you and Susie. 541 00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:22,185 We will. Hey, by the way, I was about to call you. 542 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:25,563 -Turn on channel five, KTLA. -LARRY: Okay. Hold on. 543 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,484 Sad news for Southland music lovers. 544 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:32,445 Bruce Springsteen has been diagnosed with COVID. 545 00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:33,279 What the fuck? 546 00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,531 RICK CHAMBERS: He is symptomatic, 547 00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,616 which means he's had to cancel the final show 548 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:39,077 of his farewell tour that was set to take place 549 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,287 right here in Los Angeles. What a shame... 550 00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:44,124 Maybe I was wrong about whose glass was whose? 551 00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:46,209 -JEFF: Do you think? -Get better soon, Boss. 552 00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,669 MAN: (OVER TV) Thirty-six hours of steady rainfall... 553 00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:49,546 -♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(COUGHS) 554 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:52,007 Yeah, I'm just calling people I've been in contact with. 555 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,133 So, you know, take a test. 556 00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:54,801 Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm quarantining. 557 00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,261 No, the-- It's very disappointing, 558 00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:57,887 because I'd gone years without getting it. 559 00:18:57,929 --> 00:18:59,180 I felt really special. 560 00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:01,141 Now, I'm just like-- You know, I'm like everybody else. 561 00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:02,308 -(SIGHS) -It's too bad 562 00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:03,977 I didn't have more social obligations. 563 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:05,729 It's such a great excuse. 564 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:06,646 The fridge is still humming. 565 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:09,024 I think you need to come back and fix it, 566 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:11,443 but I guess you'll have to wait till I'm better. 567 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:12,694 Unless you wind up having COVID. 568 00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:15,947 In which case, you know, you can come tomorrow. 569 00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:17,282 -(SIGHS) -Yeah, I feel like a pariah. 570 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:18,283 More than normal. 571 00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:19,617 Thanks for being so understanding. 572 00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:22,454 Let me know if you get it. We'll... We'll do something. 573 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,624 -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ -(KNOCKING ON DOOR) 574 00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:29,169 -LEON: What's up? -Just contacting people. 575 00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:30,128 Who you got left? 576 00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:33,465 I got everybody but, uh, this guy, Les McCrabb. 577 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:34,799 Oh, yeah, the British dude. 578 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:37,510 LARRY: I can't really call him until I read the book. 579 00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:38,803 Man, you gotta let that motherfucker know, Larry. 580 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:41,014 This COVID shit real, man. Don't keep fucking around. 581 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:42,557 I'll call him as soon as I read the book. 582 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,601 Come on, I'm sick. Don't harass me. 583 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,478 Harassing you? You got me fucked up right now. 584 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,979 I'm over in that bullshit-ass, little-ass house, 585 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,230 and you got the good bathroom. 586 00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:50,982 I can't take number twos over there. It's too small. 587 00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:52,150 It's pretty sad. 588 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:53,318 LEON: You don't need all this house, Larry. 589 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,195 I'll switch places with you, okay? 590 00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:56,905 You get the COVID, I'll live there. 591 00:19:56,988 --> 00:19:58,198 Shit, I don't want COVID, man. 592 00:19:58,281 --> 00:19:59,741 I don't know what that shit gonna do to my dick. 593 00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,368 How 'bout I get the house and you live over there? 594 00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:04,329 Maybe you could quarantine with me if you had COVID! 595 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:05,622 Hey, don't do it. Larry, don't do it. 596 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,832 -Don't do that shit, Larry. -If you had COVID! 597 00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:09,167 LEON: No, no, no, no, no, no! 598 00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,252 -♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(COUGHS) 599 00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:13,296 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 600 00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:16,049 LES: So then Tony says, 601 00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:17,884 "America's not going to like that." 602 00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:21,429 He was always speaking as if his name was "America." 603 00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:24,349 Any time the writers wrote something a little audacious... 604 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:25,725 -(GROANS) -...a little salacious, 605 00:20:25,809 --> 00:20:29,688 -Tony would poo-poo it in the name of "America." -(SIGHS) 606 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,564 LES: This became increasingly evident 607 00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:33,983 when I was directing Herman's Head. 608 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:35,985 (SIGHS) 609 00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:38,780 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 610 00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:44,786 -LEON: You negative yet? -Positive. 611 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:45,704 LEON: Shit. 612 00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:47,497 It's bad enough Bruce had to cancel 613 00:20:47,539 --> 00:20:49,666 his farewell tour, maybe indefinitely, 614 00:20:49,708 --> 00:20:51,793 but his health is actually a real issue, 615 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,545 and we don't know how this is gonna turn out. 616 00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:54,713 Yeah, Bruce Springsteen is saying 617 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,840 he got COVID from Seinfeld co-creator, 618 00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:57,882 -Larry David. -What? 619 00:20:57,966 --> 00:21:00,510 He tweeted, "I got COVID from spending time 620 00:21:00,552 --> 00:21:01,845 with Larry David. If you think you're sick... 621 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:03,680 Oh, come on. That's bullshit. You don't know that! 622 00:21:03,722 --> 00:21:05,181 ...don't invite people to get together." And Larry's got a trial 623 00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,599 coming up at the end of the month in Atlanta. 624 00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:07,851 HODA KOTB: Getting the Boss sick? 625 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,644 -That is not a good look. -(CELL PHONE RINGING) 626 00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:10,854 Oh, my God. 627 00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,063 SAVANNAH GUTHRIE: Bruce tweeted, "I want to apologize 628 00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:13,231 to all my fans. 629 00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:14,232 I am heartbroken to miss my final concert." 630 00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:15,567 -Hey. -Are you watching this? 631 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,652 -LARRY: Yeah, I'm watching. -This is not good, Larry. 632 00:21:17,736 --> 00:21:19,404 Yeah, I know it's not good, but you know what? 633 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:21,906 Maybe he gave me COVID. What are we gonna do about this? 634 00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:22,741 (INHALES DEEPLY) 635 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,159 LARRY: We gotta put out a statement, no? 636 00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:26,119 SIBBY: Putting out a statement is just gonna keep it alive 637 00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:28,288 -in the press. -Wait. Hold on. 638 00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:30,081 -(MUFFLED GRUNTS) -SIBBY: Larry? 639 00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,541 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 640 00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:32,542 Hello? 641 00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:34,419 (GROANS) 642 00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:38,423 (GASPS, BREATHES DEEPLY) 643 00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:41,509 -Larry. -You were saying? 644 00:21:41,593 --> 00:21:42,969 LEON: So, when Larry told me he caught something, 645 00:21:43,053 --> 00:21:44,929 I thought it might've been some old people shit. 646 00:21:45,013 --> 00:21:46,431 You know? Like... Like, uh... 647 00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:48,725 Like whooping cough, scurvy. 648 00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:50,268 You know what I mean? Rickets and shit like that. 649 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:52,937 -That's why I have my own Leon cup with a straw. -Okay, well... 650 00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:55,607 -Oh. To what do I owe the honor? -Well, Susie told me 651 00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:58,109 about your little "sex on the floor" trick. 652 00:21:58,193 --> 00:22:00,695 -"Sex on the floor" trick? -CHERYL: You used to tell me, 653 00:22:00,779 --> 00:22:03,531 "Let's have sex on the floor because it's hot. 654 00:22:03,615 --> 00:22:04,866 That's how they do it in the movies." 655 00:22:04,949 --> 00:22:07,202 Oh, you're a floor fucker. You never told me that shit. 656 00:22:07,285 --> 00:22:08,870 Okay, I like to have sex on the floor. 657 00:22:08,912 --> 00:22:10,080 -CHERYL: Why? -So what? 658 00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:11,289 What's the real reason you wanted 659 00:22:11,373 --> 00:22:12,957 to have sex on the floor? 660 00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:16,628 Because I... (SIGHS) 661 00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:18,672 -What? -What is it? 662 00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:20,548 I don't like to... 663 00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:23,510 cuddle... 664 00:22:25,637 --> 00:22:26,680 and talk. 665 00:22:26,763 --> 00:22:28,932 You don't like to hug the person you just had sex with? 666 00:22:28,973 --> 00:22:31,101 You can't hit it and quit it with your wife. 667 00:22:31,142 --> 00:22:32,686 Cheryl, listen, if after sex you wanted 668 00:22:32,769 --> 00:22:34,646 -to talk about the Rangers... -Yeah, I know. 669 00:22:34,729 --> 00:22:35,939 ...I would've had sex on the bed every time. 670 00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:37,607 "Hey, how 'bout the way Breadman's playing? 671 00:22:37,649 --> 00:22:40,235 The way he controls that puck, it's really amazing, isn't it?" 672 00:22:40,318 --> 00:22:41,820 But you can't say, "Oh, I love you, 673 00:22:41,903 --> 00:22:44,155 and you're the most important person 674 00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:45,240 to me in the whole world?" 675 00:22:45,323 --> 00:22:47,242 -People talk like that? -Yeah. 676 00:22:47,325 --> 00:22:48,368 -LARRY: They do? -Yeah. 677 00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:50,704 That's what happens when people have sex. 678 00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:51,996 -They say stuff like that? -CHERYL: Yes. 679 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,959 They say, "I love you. You're very special." 680 00:22:56,001 --> 00:22:57,252 Men do that? 681 00:22:57,335 --> 00:22:59,504 Hey, by the way, that masseuse gave me COVID. 682 00:22:59,587 --> 00:23:01,548 No, Chunhua did not give you COVID. 683 00:23:01,631 --> 00:23:03,383 -She tested negative. -Oh. 684 00:23:03,466 --> 00:23:05,760 You know, she's really angry with you. 685 00:23:05,844 --> 00:23:08,221 -Why? -You said you were gonna introduce her to Bruce. 686 00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:10,515 I said an introduction. Chu-- He said hello. 687 00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:11,725 Did she get a picture with him? 688 00:23:11,808 --> 00:23:13,184 He was leaving! What am I supposed-- 689 00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:14,352 You need to make it right with her. 690 00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:15,478 Why? What do you mean? 691 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,147 Because she's gonna take you down. 692 00:23:17,188 --> 00:23:19,816 -What do you mean, take me down? -She's going to "Me Too" you. 693 00:23:19,858 --> 00:23:22,027 "Me Too" for what? I didn't do anything! 694 00:23:22,110 --> 00:23:23,945 -You did something. -Just 'cause I like to have sex 695 00:23:24,029 --> 00:23:26,322 on the floor does not make me a deviant! 696 00:23:26,364 --> 00:23:27,699 Okay. Well, you better make it right. Yes. 697 00:23:27,741 --> 00:23:29,367 LEON: Hey, you don't wanna get "Me Too-ed." 698 00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:31,202 I was in a three-way, shit got messy, 699 00:23:31,244 --> 00:23:32,287 and I got "We Too-ed." 700 00:23:32,370 --> 00:23:34,497 Hey, I'll... I'll... I'll see you later. 701 00:23:34,539 --> 00:23:35,999 Have you ever had sex on the floor? 702 00:23:36,041 --> 00:23:37,292 Of course, I did. 703 00:23:37,375 --> 00:23:39,044 Know what's even better? Fucking in mud. 704 00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:43,048 -♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(INHALES) 705 00:23:45,967 --> 00:23:46,968 (GASPS) 706 00:23:49,012 --> 00:23:52,599 (LAUGHS) 707 00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:03,068 (SIGHS) 708 00:24:08,073 --> 00:24:10,450 -JEFF: Hey, hey. -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 709 00:24:10,533 --> 00:24:11,618 All better! 710 00:24:11,701 --> 00:24:12,660 -JEFF: Oh, yeah? -Yeah. 711 00:24:12,744 --> 00:24:14,371 -COVID negative? -Negative. 712 00:24:14,412 --> 00:24:15,914 -Ah. Congratulations. -(SCOFFS) 713 00:24:15,997 --> 00:24:17,707 -Yeah. Oh, boy. -I got news for you. 714 00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:20,585 -Yeah? -Susie's got COVID. 715 00:24:20,669 --> 00:24:22,837 -Oh, my God. -Susie's stuck upstairs. 716 00:24:22,921 --> 00:24:24,839 I got the whole first floor to myself. 717 00:24:24,923 --> 00:24:26,508 -This is unbelievable. -JEFF: Oh, it's a dream. 718 00:24:26,591 --> 00:24:29,344 It's Jeff World down here. I do whatever I want. 719 00:24:29,427 --> 00:24:31,012 Who's down there with you, Jeffrey? 720 00:24:31,096 --> 00:24:32,555 -It's Larry. -Hey. 721 00:24:32,597 --> 00:24:34,057 He's not supposed to be here. 722 00:24:34,099 --> 00:24:35,517 What? I have immunity. 723 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,977 -Oh, you think so? -And can I tell you something? I feel like Superman. 724 00:24:38,061 --> 00:24:40,814 -Do you really? -I can go anywhere, do anything. 725 00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:42,732 How could you be so happy right now? 726 00:24:42,774 --> 00:24:44,609 You gave Bruce COVID, Larry! 727 00:24:44,693 --> 00:24:46,820 You destroyed his life, his career. 728 00:24:46,903 --> 00:24:48,988 He might never play or sing again. 729 00:24:49,072 --> 00:24:51,574 -Poor Boss. Oh, the poor Boss. -SUSIE: That's right, poor Boss. 730 00:24:51,616 --> 00:24:55,161 -His fans are devastated. -Oh, the poor fans. 731 00:24:55,245 --> 00:24:56,955 Everybody fucking hates you now. 732 00:24:56,996 --> 00:24:58,623 -Oh. -SUSIE: It's all your fault. 733 00:24:58,707 --> 00:25:00,709 You're a walking fucking virus, Larry! 734 00:25:00,792 --> 00:25:02,544 Let me tell you something! You're the virus! 735 00:25:02,627 --> 00:25:04,796 Injecting yourself into everybody's lives! 736 00:25:04,879 --> 00:25:06,464 -You're the virus! -You're the virus! 737 00:25:06,506 --> 00:25:08,466 BOTH: You're the virus! You're the virus! 738 00:25:08,508 --> 00:25:11,136 Your entire aura is viral overload! 739 00:25:11,177 --> 00:25:13,722 I have a fantastic aura! Jeff, don't I have a good aura? 740 00:25:13,805 --> 00:25:14,848 -A great aura. -LARRY: I have a great-- 741 00:25:14,931 --> 00:25:17,976 Susie, leave the man's aura alone. 742 00:25:18,059 --> 00:25:20,270 It's an epic aura. I have a Hall of Fame aura. 743 00:25:20,311 --> 00:25:24,232 You're small. You're petty. You're jealous. You're trite. 744 00:25:24,315 --> 00:25:27,235 I would rather be all those things 745 00:25:27,318 --> 00:25:30,989 than the tattletale you are. You had to tell Cheryl I like to have sex on the floor? 746 00:25:31,031 --> 00:25:33,491 -Oh, yeah. I had to tell. Yes, I did have to tell. -What the hell is that? 747 00:25:33,533 --> 00:25:34,826 -LARRY: You're a squealer! -It was criminal. 748 00:25:34,909 --> 00:25:36,536 You ought to be ashamed of yourself, 749 00:25:36,619 --> 00:25:38,371 squealing like a little pig. 750 00:25:38,455 --> 00:25:39,664 The fact that you wouldn't be intimate 751 00:25:39,748 --> 00:25:41,666 and cuddle with your own fucking wife. 752 00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:43,710 What kind of ingrate human being are you? 753 00:25:43,793 --> 00:25:45,003 Oh, you know what? Go fuck yourself. 754 00:25:45,045 --> 00:25:46,880 I hope you're up here for another three weeks. 755 00:25:46,963 --> 00:25:50,008 You cold-hearted, COVID-carrying cocksucker! 756 00:25:50,091 --> 00:25:51,634 LARRY: Hey, let's go watch the game. 757 00:25:51,676 --> 00:25:52,969 -(SIGHS) -Yeah. 758 00:25:53,053 --> 00:25:54,679 Drove by Ollie and Al's. 759 00:25:54,763 --> 00:25:56,473 -A is still up. -You're kidding. 760 00:25:56,514 --> 00:25:58,099 -(CHUCKLES) No. -Where does that guy get off? 761 00:25:58,183 --> 00:26:01,019 -I'm gonna talk to him about it. -♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 762 00:26:01,102 --> 00:26:03,813 You have bad foot. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. 763 00:26:03,855 --> 00:26:05,315 -This no smooth ride. -Oh, please. 764 00:26:05,357 --> 00:26:07,359 -Herky-jerky. -Oh, my God. 765 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,361 When we see Bruce today, I want photo. 766 00:26:09,444 --> 00:26:10,695 LARRY: Yeah, great. 767 00:26:10,737 --> 00:26:13,365 Yeah, I don't even know how we're even getting in, okay? 768 00:26:13,448 --> 00:26:15,408 I masseuse. Masseuse always get in. 769 00:26:15,492 --> 00:26:17,035 -Oh. Yeah. -FANS: Bruce! 770 00:26:17,077 --> 00:26:19,662 -LARRY: Um. Oh, jeez. Uh-oh. -FEMALE FAN 1: Get well soon! 771 00:26:19,704 --> 00:26:20,914 -FANS: Bruce! -♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 772 00:26:20,997 --> 00:26:22,874 -FEMALE FAN 1: We love you! -FANS: Bruce! 773 00:26:22,916 --> 00:26:24,542 -FEMALE FAN 1: We miss you! -FANS: Bruce! 774 00:26:24,626 --> 00:26:26,711 MALE FAN: Asbury Park rules! 775 00:26:26,795 --> 00:26:29,798 Um, all right, I gotta pull over. 776 00:26:30,340 --> 00:26:31,633 CHUNHUA: Why stop here? 777 00:26:31,716 --> 00:26:33,760 -You're gonna have to drive. -FANS: Bruce! 778 00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:36,304 -We're sending our love! -FANS: Bruce! 779 00:26:36,388 --> 00:26:37,764 MALE FAN: Feel better, please. 780 00:26:37,847 --> 00:26:40,058 -FEMALE FAN 1: We need you back on tour, man! -FANS: Bruce! 781 00:26:40,141 --> 00:26:42,227 I still don't get how you're gonna get in here. 782 00:26:42,310 --> 00:26:44,062 -It's impossible. -CHUNHUA: Leave it to me. 783 00:26:44,145 --> 00:26:45,980 -(INTERCOM BEEPS) -FEMALE FAN 2: We're praying for you! 784 00:26:46,064 --> 00:26:48,441 -MAN: (OVER INTERCOM) Hello? -Massage! 785 00:26:48,525 --> 00:26:50,819 -MAN: Excuse me! -Massage! 786 00:26:50,902 --> 00:26:53,154 MAN: I'm sorry, uh, we did not order a massage. 787 00:26:53,238 --> 00:26:56,533 Somebody in this house order massage. Open gate. 788 00:26:56,574 --> 00:26:58,660 MAN: No, no one in this house ordered a massage. 789 00:26:58,743 --> 00:27:02,706 You order massage. 362 Bristol. Open gate or I leave, 790 00:27:02,747 --> 00:27:04,040 and you pay me. 791 00:27:05,083 --> 00:27:06,084 MAN: Uh... 792 00:27:06,167 --> 00:27:08,294 -Okay, come on in. -(INTERCOM BEEPS) 793 00:27:08,378 --> 00:27:10,380 Unbelievable. (LAUGHS) 794 00:27:11,089 --> 00:27:12,340 FANS: Bruce! 795 00:27:12,424 --> 00:27:13,675 Larry. 796 00:27:14,426 --> 00:27:15,176 Larry. 797 00:27:15,260 --> 00:27:16,636 -LARRY: Yeah. -CHUNHUA: Where Bruce? 798 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:17,929 One second. Follow me. 799 00:27:18,013 --> 00:27:21,016 -♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -MALE FAN: Whoo! Springsteen! 800 00:27:30,358 --> 00:27:31,860 A house divided 801 00:27:31,943 --> 00:27:35,780 -against itself cannot stand. -(COUGHS) 802 00:27:35,822 --> 00:27:37,782 -Ah. -(COUGHS) 803 00:27:37,866 --> 00:27:39,743 -Hey. -(COUGHS) 804 00:27:39,784 --> 00:27:41,619 -(GASPS) Bruce! -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 805 00:27:41,661 --> 00:27:43,288 -What the fuck? -LARRY: Hey. 806 00:27:43,329 --> 00:27:44,539 -Hey, man. -Larry. 807 00:27:44,622 --> 00:27:45,540 Yeah. 808 00:27:45,623 --> 00:27:47,292 What are you doing in my backyard, 809 00:27:47,375 --> 00:27:48,793 and how did you get in here? 810 00:27:48,835 --> 00:27:50,128 Oh, I laid down on the floor of the car. 811 00:27:50,170 --> 00:27:52,589 She said she was your masseuse. They let her in. 812 00:27:52,630 --> 00:27:53,840 -What? -LARRY: By the way, 813 00:27:53,923 --> 00:27:54,924 there's a lot of people out there. 814 00:27:54,966 --> 00:27:57,010 Yeah, because they think I'm dying 815 00:27:57,093 --> 00:27:58,762 from the COVID I caught from you. 816 00:27:58,803 --> 00:28:00,805 Mr. Three-Card Monte with the glasses. 817 00:28:00,889 --> 00:28:02,098 That's where it happened. 818 00:28:02,140 --> 00:28:04,559 Hey, I'm almost 99.9 percent sure 819 00:28:04,642 --> 00:28:05,810 that was my glass, Bruce. 820 00:28:05,894 --> 00:28:07,729 I lost my sense of smell. 821 00:28:07,812 --> 00:28:09,773 I'm so sorry. There's nothing to smell. 822 00:28:09,814 --> 00:28:11,149 Everything stinks. It doesn't matter. 823 00:28:11,232 --> 00:28:12,859 -(SIGHS) Fuck. -LARRY: You're better off. 824 00:28:12,942 --> 00:28:14,319 Hey, what are you watching? 825 00:28:14,402 --> 00:28:16,529 -BRUCE: Uh, Young Mr. Lincoln. -LARRY: Lincoln in Illinois? 826 00:28:16,613 --> 00:28:18,281 -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. -I love that movie. 827 00:28:18,323 --> 00:28:19,657 (IMITATES RAYMOND MASSEY) A house divided 828 00:28:19,699 --> 00:28:21,785 against itself cannot stand. 829 00:28:21,826 --> 00:28:24,162 That's a good Massey. Now get the fuck out, please. 830 00:28:24,204 --> 00:28:26,539 Okay. Hey, um, do you remember Chunhua? 831 00:28:26,623 --> 00:28:28,625 (GASPS) Bruce. I love you, Bruce. 832 00:28:28,708 --> 00:28:30,585 She didn't get a chance to talk to you last time. 833 00:28:30,669 --> 00:28:32,587 She-- You know, she's a big fan. 834 00:28:32,671 --> 00:28:34,255 -She just want one-- Just-- -One photo. 835 00:28:34,339 --> 00:28:37,008 I'm sick as a fucking dog. It's not really the best time. 836 00:28:37,050 --> 00:28:38,343 -It'll just take one second. -One photo. 837 00:28:38,426 --> 00:28:39,678 -It'll take one second. -What? 838 00:28:39,761 --> 00:28:40,929 -CHUNHUA: Thank you. -LARRY: There you go. 839 00:28:41,012 --> 00:28:43,348 -Wha-- Larry-- (COUGHS) -(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING) 840 00:28:43,431 --> 00:28:45,058 -LARRY: Okay. There you go. -Show me. Show me. 841 00:28:45,141 --> 00:28:46,685 -Okay, man. -BRUCE: (COUGHS) Jesus Christ. 842 00:28:46,726 --> 00:28:48,853 No, Bruce, only me and reflection. 843 00:28:48,937 --> 00:28:50,522 -LARRY: What am I supposed to do? -CHUNHUA: Take photo! 844 00:28:50,605 --> 00:28:51,856 This is the last one! 845 00:28:51,898 --> 00:28:53,066 -Larry, Larry... -Take photo, 846 00:28:53,149 --> 00:28:54,275 -you dumb, bald man. -...take the fucking photo! 847 00:28:54,359 --> 00:28:55,694 -I took it! I took it! -CHUNHUA: Photo, Larry. 848 00:28:55,777 --> 00:28:56,695 -Larry, what are you doing? -LARRY: Oh. Yeah. 849 00:28:56,778 --> 00:28:57,821 You guys can't be here. 850 00:28:57,862 --> 00:28:59,656 -He doesn't feel well. -LARRY: Yeah. 851 00:28:59,698 --> 00:29:01,366 -I'm sick. -Yeah. You gotta get out of here. 852 00:29:01,449 --> 00:29:03,910 I'm sorry about this. I totally had a hunch 853 00:29:03,993 --> 00:29:05,120 -that this was not a good idea... -Yeah, you know, 854 00:29:05,203 --> 00:29:06,371 -you had a hunch. -...that you meet Bruce. 855 00:29:06,454 --> 00:29:08,123 That's not a hunch. I think you want all the credit 856 00:29:08,206 --> 00:29:09,708 for being right without doing any of the work. 857 00:29:09,791 --> 00:29:11,793 If you had a hunch, you should've said something. 858 00:29:11,876 --> 00:29:12,794 -There you go. There you go. -Yeah. 859 00:29:12,877 --> 00:29:14,337 You need to get out of here, Larry. 860 00:29:14,379 --> 00:29:16,047 (IMITATES RAYMOND MASSEY) All right. We'll take our leave now. 861 00:29:16,089 --> 00:29:17,924 -Come on. Come on. Please, no photos. Yeah. -Ah, Jesus Christ. 862 00:29:18,008 --> 00:29:19,217 -Steven, may I add... -Let's go. 863 00:29:19,259 --> 00:29:22,012 ...we're very honored and appreciative of the time 864 00:29:22,053 --> 00:29:24,055 -we got to spend here. -KEN: Yep. Let's go. 865 00:29:24,139 --> 00:29:27,267 LARRY: Mary, why do you constantly insult me 866 00:29:27,350 --> 00:29:28,810 in front of my friends? 867 00:29:28,893 --> 00:29:30,854 -♪ (MAJESTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(COUGHS) 868 00:29:30,895 --> 00:29:32,063 RAYMOND MASSEY: (OVER TV) Would we not rather say 869 00:29:32,105 --> 00:29:33,857 the remedy is in our hands? 870 00:29:33,898 --> 00:29:36,526 Fucking Larry. (BLOWS NOSE) 871 00:29:36,568 --> 00:29:38,278 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 872 00:29:38,361 --> 00:29:40,530 Do you-- You got what you needed, right? 873 00:29:40,572 --> 00:29:42,657 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 874 00:29:42,741 --> 00:29:44,784 Oh, my God, it's Larry David! 875 00:29:44,868 --> 00:29:47,370 You gave Bruce COVID, you psycho! 876 00:29:47,412 --> 00:29:49,873 -(FANS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) -No, no! No, no, no! 877 00:29:49,914 --> 00:29:52,334 -I didn't give him COVID! -You ruined the tour. I had front row seats. 878 00:29:52,417 --> 00:29:54,753 -No, no, no, no, no, no! -It was my last chance to see him. 879 00:29:54,836 --> 00:29:57,005 -He gave me COVID! Holy shit! -Drive! Drive! 880 00:29:57,088 --> 00:30:00,216 No, no, no! Hey, hey! 881 00:30:01,384 --> 00:30:02,844 Go, go, go! 882 00:30:05,597 --> 00:30:06,848 Oh, my God. 883 00:30:10,518 --> 00:30:12,062 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 884 00:30:12,103 --> 00:30:15,106 LES: Did Patricia Heaton get a little handsy? 885 00:30:15,190 --> 00:30:17,817 Well, that is a tale for my next book, 886 00:30:17,901 --> 00:30:20,111 because that's a wrap! 887 00:30:24,449 --> 00:30:25,325 What a piece of shit. 888 00:30:25,408 --> 00:30:26,785 Now you gotta call that motherfucker. 889 00:30:26,868 --> 00:30:28,119 What's up, fellas? Keeping it light today. 890 00:30:28,203 --> 00:30:31,122 Lorenzo. I saw what you did. 891 00:30:31,206 --> 00:30:35,085 I saw you change the sign from a C to an A. 892 00:30:35,126 --> 00:30:38,088 So, I'm not about to eat food from your restaurant. 893 00:30:38,672 --> 00:30:40,006 That C was undeserved. 894 00:30:40,090 --> 00:30:41,466 Oh, really? How so? 895 00:30:41,549 --> 00:30:44,928 One of my guys had sex with a waitress on the floor. 896 00:30:44,969 --> 00:30:47,972 Health department found out, and then, boom, we got a C. 897 00:30:48,056 --> 00:30:49,307 Doesn't even make any sense. 898 00:30:49,349 --> 00:30:51,017 Why have sex with anybody on a floor? 899 00:30:51,101 --> 00:30:52,644 There's plenty of places to have sex. 900 00:30:52,686 --> 00:30:54,145 I have a couch in my office. 901 00:30:54,187 --> 00:30:55,897 Maybe he just knows that women 902 00:30:55,980 --> 00:30:57,607 don't wanna hang out on the floor and... 903 00:30:57,649 --> 00:30:58,983 and that he can have sex 904 00:30:59,025 --> 00:31:01,903 and then just get dressed and, uh, go about his business. 905 00:31:01,986 --> 00:31:03,947 You know, I considered that, 906 00:31:03,988 --> 00:31:06,950 and that pisses me off more than this fucking C. 907 00:31:07,909 --> 00:31:08,993 What kind of asshole 908 00:31:09,035 --> 00:31:11,162 doesn't want to cuddle after sex? 909 00:31:11,204 --> 00:31:13,832 That's what separates us from animals. 910 00:31:13,873 --> 00:31:16,710 We're not two badgers fucking in the woods. 911 00:31:16,793 --> 00:31:19,170 We are people who love one another. 912 00:31:19,254 --> 00:31:21,339 Woman just gives herself to you like that, 913 00:31:21,381 --> 00:31:23,633 and you're not gonna spend a little time thanking her? 914 00:31:23,675 --> 00:31:25,343 And the fact that he couldn't throw 915 00:31:25,427 --> 00:31:26,678 an arm around her, 916 00:31:26,761 --> 00:31:29,347 talk about the rest of her fucking day. 917 00:31:29,431 --> 00:31:31,558 What's she gonna do? Where's she gonna go? 918 00:31:31,641 --> 00:31:35,311 It just takes one minute of common fucking courtesy. 919 00:31:35,353 --> 00:31:37,772 There's never an excuse not to cuddle. 920 00:31:37,856 --> 00:31:40,567 That guy is a straight up sick fuck. 921 00:31:41,359 --> 00:31:42,777 Well, you know... (CLEARS THROAT) 922 00:31:42,861 --> 00:31:44,404 ...we don't know anything about this guy. 923 00:31:44,487 --> 00:31:46,072 Maybe he's just a nice guy in a hurry. 924 00:31:46,156 --> 00:31:48,450 No. He is a dirty floor fucker 925 00:31:48,533 --> 00:31:50,368 who doesn't deserve to live amongst us. 926 00:31:51,369 --> 00:31:53,038 You know what? This is all on me. 927 00:31:53,079 --> 00:31:55,290 -Really? -The place is clean. 928 00:31:56,374 --> 00:31:57,375 We deserve an A. 929 00:31:58,293 --> 00:32:00,337 -I'd like to meet this guy. -(LEON SIGHS) 930 00:32:00,378 --> 00:32:02,213 -We got something in common. -LEON: You do. 931 00:32:02,297 --> 00:32:03,715 I could probably be friends with this guy. 932 00:32:03,798 --> 00:32:07,719 I only did it in my house. He's doing it in restaurants. 933 00:32:07,802 --> 00:32:09,012 -Yeah. -LARRY: It's sad to think 934 00:32:09,054 --> 00:32:11,264 that there might be a guy out there 935 00:32:11,348 --> 00:32:14,684 -who has sex on the floor... -LEON: Yeah. 936 00:32:14,726 --> 00:32:15,852 ...and I'm never gonna meet him. 937 00:32:15,894 --> 00:32:17,437 Yeah, that's deep shit right there. 938 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:21,149 -All right. (SIGHS) Let's go. -Wait. 939 00:32:21,232 --> 00:32:23,234 What the fuck is happening here? You read the book. 940 00:32:23,276 --> 00:32:24,402 You know what time it is now? 941 00:32:24,444 --> 00:32:25,653 You gotta call this motherfucker. 942 00:32:25,695 --> 00:32:27,113 Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. One second. 943 00:32:28,114 --> 00:32:29,491 LEON: You gotta do that shit right now? 944 00:32:29,574 --> 00:32:30,325 Every moment counts. 945 00:32:30,408 --> 00:32:31,701 You gonna put that shit off again, 946 00:32:31,743 --> 00:32:34,496 and this motherfucker's walking around, spreading Rona. 947 00:32:34,579 --> 00:32:37,123 -Ah. Okay. Got it. -LEON: There you go. See? 948 00:32:37,207 --> 00:32:38,917 Now call that sorry-ass English motherfucker 949 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,419 and let him know he got the Rona. 950 00:32:41,461 --> 00:32:42,837 Namaste, sister. 951 00:32:42,921 --> 00:32:45,507 -Thank you. -(CHUCKLES) Mahmoud! 952 00:32:45,590 --> 00:32:46,800 Lovely to see you again. 953 00:32:46,883 --> 00:32:48,385 Wonderful to see you too, brother. 954 00:32:48,426 --> 00:32:50,178 Bye-bye, phone. See you in a week. 955 00:32:50,261 --> 00:32:51,388 -Hmm. -(LES CHUCKLES) 956 00:32:51,429 --> 00:32:53,181 -Here you are, everybody! -(PASSENGERS CHEER) 957 00:32:53,264 --> 00:32:54,432 LES: Hey, hey, hey! How is everyone? 958 00:32:54,516 --> 00:32:56,059 -(CELL PHONE RINGING) -LES: Fantastic to see you. 959 00:32:56,101 --> 00:32:58,603 I didn't sleep last night. I was so excited. 960 00:32:58,687 --> 00:33:00,730 There you are. Give me a kiss. 961 00:33:00,772 --> 00:33:01,940 -Come close. -WOMAN 1: Big hugs. 962 00:33:02,023 --> 00:33:03,400 LES: I was hoping you'd be here. 963 00:33:03,441 --> 00:33:05,151 -My brother tells me you're pregnant again. -WOMAN 2: Twins. 964 00:33:05,235 --> 00:33:06,444 -Let's do this. -MAN: All right, Les. 965 00:33:06,528 --> 00:33:09,030 Now, everyone, I want you to take a cleansing breath 966 00:33:09,114 --> 00:33:11,825 before we take off. (INHALES DEEPLY) 967 00:33:11,908 --> 00:33:15,161 (ALL YELL) 968 00:33:15,245 --> 00:33:18,123 Great. Right, let's go. Let's not be fucking late. 969 00:33:18,164 --> 00:33:21,126 ♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM" THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 970 00:34:26,024 --> 00:34:28,485 ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪