1 00:00:16,990 --> 00:00:19,660 Okay, I just wanted to take you through 2 00:00:19,750 --> 00:00:21,950 the main points of the sexual harassment complaint 3 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,160 - from your assistant. - Right. Right. Right. 4 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:26,620 The first contention is you yanked at her clothes. 5 00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:29,290 I yanked at her... I cleaned my glasses. 6 00:00:29,370 --> 00:00:31,220 - Cleaned your glasses. - Her shirttail was sticking out. 7 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,830 I cleaned my glasses. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 8 00:00:32,910 --> 00:00:35,620 - Send me to the cooler. - I don't want you to worry about it. 9 00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:37,080 I can handle this. 10 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:40,700 If she gets anything at all here, it would be a travesty. 11 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:43,330 And I would, I would leave the country. 12 00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:46,120 I don't know where I'd go, but I would leave. 13 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,830 I hear Canada is a good place, maybe. 14 00:00:48,910 --> 00:00:51,040 - But it's cold. - I don't recommend moving to Canada. 15 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,040 What about... what about like a Pacific island or something? 16 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:57,040 I want to assure you that as upsetting as this is, 17 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,040 I think we'll either be able to make it go away 18 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,040 or come to a reasonable settlement. 19 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,370 - What? Come to a what? - An amicable arrangement... 20 00:01:04,450 --> 00:01:07,080 A settlement? A reasonable settlement? 21 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,330 "Millions for defense. Not one cent for tribute." 22 00:01:10,410 --> 00:01:13,200 That's what we said when the British were impressing our seamen. 23 00:01:13,290 --> 00:01:15,700 You, you know they tried to impress our seamen, right? 24 00:01:15,790 --> 00:01:18,660 They'd be on the ship, they'd yell across at one of our ships. 25 00:01:18,750 --> 00:01:23,040 "Hey, there! We have the best dental plan in all of Europe. 26 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:27,040 "Why, look at our bicorn hats and fancy brass buttons. 27 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,200 How's that, sailors? Are you impressed by that?" 28 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,120 Anything else we haven't gone over? 29 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,450 - Hmm. - Okay. 30 00:01:34,540 --> 00:01:37,240 If anything comes to you after this conversation... 31 00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:39,600 - You'll be the first to know. - you're in your car, you're driving home... 32 00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:40,910 - Yeah. - Pick up the phone. 33 00:01:40,990 --> 00:01:42,200 - Really? - Yeah. 34 00:01:42,290 --> 00:01:45,160 If I do happen to call you, which I very well could, 35 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,910 does that mean that I'll be charged for the time? 36 00:01:48,990 --> 00:01:52,790 In this office, we, uh, we try to use a holistic approach 37 00:01:52,870 --> 00:01:54,620 - to compensation. - Mm. 38 00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,750 We want our clients not to be inhibited 39 00:01:56,830 --> 00:01:59,040 in their use of our services. 40 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,830 So you charge me. 41 00:02:00,910 --> 00:02:02,120 Yeah. 42 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:05,040 Uh, all right, I think that takes care of it. 43 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:07,290 - May I use your bathroom? - Yeah, the bathroom's, uh, 44 00:02:07,370 --> 00:02:09,200 just to your right, down the hall. 45 00:02:09,290 --> 00:02:11,180 Right there at reception where you came in, there's a little jog in the hallway. 46 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:15,500 Yeah. No. I already saw that, but I'm here, and, you know, it's... 47 00:02:15,580 --> 00:02:19,120 - an infinitely better bathroom than to send me to a public... - Oh, it's nothing special. 48 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,510 You'll be much happier down the hall. We just redid 'em. They're great. 49 00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:23,290 I'll leave it exactly the way I found it. 50 00:02:23,370 --> 00:02:25,700 I'm like a murderer going in there. 51 00:02:25,790 --> 00:02:29,950 I completely expunge all evidence that I was ever there. 52 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,700 Motion denied, as they say in the profession. 53 00:02:34,540 --> 00:02:36,290 ♪ 54 00:02:36,370 --> 00:02:37,990 Where is it? 55 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,540 Roger: Down the hall and to the right. 56 00:02:41,580 --> 00:02:42,580 Hi. 57 00:02:42,660 --> 00:02:46,160 - Mr. David. - Validation, please. 58 00:02:49,580 --> 00:02:51,830 Is that a problem? 59 00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,990 Well, I mean, to be perfectly honest, 60 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,120 do you really think that you need it? 61 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,330 It's not about the money, okay? 62 00:02:58,410 --> 00:03:01,450 It's about having to go into your pants pocket, 63 00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:03,700 in a car when you're paying. 64 00:03:03,790 --> 00:03:06,790 Have you ever been in a car trying to get to your pocket? 65 00:03:06,870 --> 00:03:09,750 - It does seem like a great deal of effort. - Yes. 66 00:03:09,830 --> 00:03:11,990 This is why homeless people don't make a lot of money 67 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:15,080 from people in cars, 'cause nobody wants to go into their pockets. 68 00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:17,620 There you are, Mr. David. You have a lovely day. 69 00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:19,990 Yeah. Uh, you know what? 70 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,120 This is only for an hour. 71 00:03:22,910 --> 00:03:25,120 I was here for at least an hour-ten. 72 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,450 Sure thing. 73 00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:30,200 Here, Mr. David. You have a good day. 74 00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:33,080 Hope to see you again. I intend to be in this building a lot. 75 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,580 That's fantastic. 76 00:03:43,950 --> 00:03:44,830 Hello? 77 00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:47,290 Larry, uh, this is Dr. Bahn. 78 00:03:47,370 --> 00:03:51,700 -Yeah? -I'm not liking some of the numbers I'm seeing 79 00:03:51,790 --> 00:03:54,540 and would like to test you for thyroid cancer. 80 00:03:55,870 --> 00:03:57,910 Dr. Bahn: I would like to get an MRI 81 00:03:57,990 --> 00:03:59,370 just to be safe. 82 00:03:59,450 --> 00:04:01,370 Is there a mass? 83 00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:03,040 Yes. There is a mass. 84 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,450 Has it... spread? 85 00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:08,200 Well, that we don't know, and that's why 86 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,040 I'd like to get you in for some tests today. 87 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,830 -What are my odds? -Dr. Bahn: Uh, Larry, it's way too early 88 00:04:12,910 --> 00:04:14,240 to be thinking that way. 89 00:04:14,330 --> 00:04:16,240 Just contact my office, and, uh, 90 00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:18,500 we should get the results in two days. 91 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,950 ♪ ♪ 92 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:39,040 - Andy: And a two of hearts. - Richard: Ooh, lucky you. 93 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,240 Possible flush, no straight. 94 00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:41,510 -Go ahead, Leon. You got the bet. -Woo! 95 00:04:41,540 --> 00:04:42,890 - You got the bet. - See what I got. 96 00:04:42,910 --> 00:04:44,750 - Larry: Come on, spend some money. - Bam! 97 00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:45,750 - Nope. - Andy: Swat? 98 00:04:45,830 --> 00:04:47,750 - Richard? - Two. 99 00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:49,040 Ooh. 100 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:50,750 All right, I'm in. 101 00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:53,450 Why weren't you at the fundraiser the other night? 102 00:04:53,540 --> 00:04:56,200 - For the prison art collectors? - What, what, what fundraiser? 103 00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:58,080 For the prisoners who draw art. 104 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,120 I sent you the invitation. Why weren't you there? 105 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,830 - I never got the invite. - We sent it. 106 00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:04,370 Never got it. Must have got lost in the mail. 107 00:05:04,450 --> 00:05:06,790 Aah, boy. I don't trust the mail anymore. I swear I don't. 108 00:05:06,870 --> 00:05:08,450 That stinks. I would have gone to that. 109 00:05:08,540 --> 00:05:09,930 - You would have enjoyed it. - Leon: Wow. 110 00:05:09,950 --> 00:05:12,700 Andy: All right, next card is a ten of spades. 111 00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,910 - I'm out. I fold. - Andy: Okay, he's out. Go ahead. 112 00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:16,330 Andy: You're out. You check. 113 00:05:16,410 --> 00:05:17,620 - Richard: I fold. - Fold. 114 00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:19,010 - Really? - I just wanna give you... Yeah. 115 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,100 I wanna give you a heads up. 116 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,700 Susie's birthday is in about a week. 117 00:05:21,790 --> 00:05:23,290 Why are you giving me a heads up? 118 00:05:23,370 --> 00:05:26,160 Uh, she told me to tell you. 119 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,850 -Get the hell out of here. She told you to tell me? -Jeff: Yeah. Yeah. 120 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,430 As a matter of fact, she wants a camera. 121 00:05:30,450 --> 00:05:32,790 She's shameless, this woman. She's shameless. 122 00:05:32,870 --> 00:05:34,410 - It's unbelievable. - Wow. 123 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,290 You don't get to pick your gift, okay? 124 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:38,850 -I'm not a Sears catalog. -Just lettin' you know. Just lettin' you know. 125 00:05:38,870 --> 00:05:41,390 Anyway, I already got her something. It's gonna be a nice surprise. 126 00:05:41,410 --> 00:05:42,830 - Really? - Larry: Yeah. 127 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,500 All right, nine is the last card. 128 00:05:44,580 --> 00:05:45,660 You got the bet. 129 00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:47,500 Go ahead. You guys are out. Go ahead. 130 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:50,080 I just want you to know before you bet, I have a pair of aces. 131 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,910 Okay. Twenty bucks, aces. 132 00:05:53,410 --> 00:05:56,330 I have a pair of aces. I call. What do you have? 133 00:05:56,410 --> 00:06:00,700 - Larry: Okay. I got three nines. 134 00:06:00,790 --> 00:06:02,830 - Ooh! Shit! - Andy: That's unbelievable. 135 00:06:02,910 --> 00:06:04,140 - Huh? - Leon: Ate your ass for dinner. 136 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:05,500 On the river, you get a nine. 137 00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:06,580 Richard: Cincinnati Kid. 138 00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:08,080 You are the luckiest guy around. 139 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,410 - Honest to God. - Yeah, yeah, luckiest guy around. 140 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,950 I went to the doctor this week, and, I, uh... 141 00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:15,410 She found something, and... 142 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,620 - She's testing for, you know, cancer, so... - Jeff: Wow. 143 00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:20,540 - I'll find out in a few days. - Really? 144 00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:22,680 - Yeah. I'm sure it's nothing, you know. - Jeff: You're kidding me. 145 00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:24,200 Leon: Shit, Larry. God damn. 146 00:06:24,290 --> 00:06:25,200 You're up. 147 00:06:25,290 --> 00:06:27,660 Well, I just want to let you know, 148 00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:28,910 lettin' you know, 149 00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:31,080 - if you do have cancer... - Mm. 150 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,700 I can't be your friend anymore. 151 00:06:32,790 --> 00:06:35,330 I-I'm not a cancer friend. I can't do the cancer friend. 152 00:06:35,410 --> 00:06:37,350 -That's not me. It's too much. Too much. -Mm. Yeah. 153 00:06:37,370 --> 00:06:39,540 You know, I gotta agree with Jeff. 154 00:06:39,620 --> 00:06:42,910 If you get cancer, I'll never speak to you again. 155 00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:44,870 - Andy: Wow. - I get that. Yeah. 156 00:06:44,950 --> 00:06:47,080 When I found out my daddy had cancer, 157 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,950 I never spoke to that man again. 158 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,160 - I even stopped taking his calls. - Wow. Really? 159 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:52,620 - Swat: Yep. - Did he die? 160 00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:54,240 I don't know. 161 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:55,410 - Mm. - Whoa. 162 00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:56,870 Leon: That's fuckin' deep, man. 163 00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,200 All right, I'll tell you what. I have a proposal. 164 00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:01,700 Let's make a little deal here, okay? 165 00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:04,580 A no-cancer friend reciprocity pact. 166 00:07:04,660 --> 00:07:06,830 If anyone gets it, we all stop being friends with you, 167 00:07:06,910 --> 00:07:08,080 and vice versa. 168 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,540 - There you go! - Very gracious of you! 169 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,580 Don't fuck up. Don't fuck with me, I won't fuck with you. 170 00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:16,430 -Larry: All right. -Leon, your deal. Come on, let's play poker. 171 00:07:16,450 --> 00:07:18,160 - Leon: Let's go, baby. - Jeff: Okay. 172 00:07:24,330 --> 00:07:26,080 Sorry I'm late. 173 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,410 - It's okay. - You know what? 174 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,950 I detest every single person in a car. 175 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,080 - There are a lot of stupid drivers, yeah. - Yeah. 176 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,990 How are you feeling? 177 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,620 I'm better. 178 00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:38,660 - I'm a lot better. - I'm really sorry about 179 00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,580 that talc incident. 180 00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,660 I say next time, just... 181 00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:45,120 do the shower, yeah. 182 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,830 Yeah. Oh, geez, look at, look at this thing. 183 00:07:47,910 --> 00:07:49,290 - Huh? - Yeah, I know, it's... 184 00:07:49,370 --> 00:07:51,950 Jesus, look, look, what... I, I don't understand it. 185 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,750 - Another wobbly table. - I know. 186 00:07:53,830 --> 00:07:55,410 They're all over. It's an epidemic. 187 00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:58,830 I'm gonna end the wobbly table epidemic, in my coffee house. 188 00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:01,790 - Mm. - Ours are gonna be cemented in... 189 00:08:01,870 --> 00:08:03,720 - They're gonna be cemented in the ground. - Mm-hmm. 190 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,950 Ah. You know what? I think I'll do a little, uh, 191 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,040 a little side-sitting. 192 00:08:08,410 --> 00:08:10,700 - A side-sit? - Yeah. A side-sit. 193 00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:12,200 I don't think that's a good idea. 194 00:08:12,290 --> 00:08:15,700 - Why? What's the big deal? - Well, it's, uh, very intimate. 195 00:08:15,790 --> 00:08:18,790 I... This is too far to talk to somebody. 196 00:08:18,870 --> 00:08:20,830 It feels a little close. 197 00:08:20,910 --> 00:08:22,790 - I don't think so. - Okay. 198 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:23,950 Oh. 199 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:25,330 - There you go. - Thank you. 200 00:08:25,410 --> 00:08:29,160 Larry: It's my mailman. His name's Lionel. 201 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:30,500 Hey. 202 00:08:30,580 --> 00:08:32,120 - Cheryl: Lionel? - Larry: Yeah. 203 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,890 - Take care. Have a good day. - Hostess: Thank you. You too. 204 00:08:33,910 --> 00:08:37,540 Yeah. Something about that guy gives me the creeps. 205 00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:39,660 - Yeah. - Um... 206 00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:44,200 - How are you doing? - Good. Can I introduce you to my friend, the elephant? 207 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,750 Huh? He's a big boy. 208 00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:49,750 - Keeps growing. - Yes, yes. 209 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,290 I mean, how do you feel about it? 210 00:08:52,370 --> 00:08:55,700 Well, I feel the same as I've always felt. 211 00:08:55,790 --> 00:08:58,450 I think we should... I think we should be together. 212 00:08:59,990 --> 00:09:01,700 Yeah, I don't... 213 00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:03,910 I don't think that's a good idea. 214 00:09:05,910 --> 00:09:07,750 I think we need to... 215 00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:10,990 end it, call it off. 216 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,580 I think we should be apart. 217 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,160 You know, I... 218 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,540 I was at the doctor, 219 00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,910 and I'm waiting to get some... 220 00:09:22,450 --> 00:09:23,750 test results back. 221 00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:25,870 Oh. What kind of tests? 222 00:09:25,950 --> 00:09:28,450 Could be... 223 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,370 cancer? 224 00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:32,450 It's just a test, right? 225 00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:33,540 - Yeah. - Yeah. 226 00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:34,700 It's a test, but... 227 00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:36,580 - it's a test for cancer. - Right. 228 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,870 I mean, a lot of people get tested. 229 00:09:38,950 --> 00:09:40,540 Not for cancer. 230 00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:42,930 - Yeah, a lot of people get tested for cancer. - No, this is cancer. 231 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,950 - It's a cancer test. - I know a lot of people... 232 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,830 No, this is cancer. 233 00:09:46,910 --> 00:09:49,580 - Um... - Serious, serious test. 234 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,410 - Could you excuse us for a sec? - Sure. 235 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:55,240 Well, I hope your tests come back negative, 236 00:09:55,330 --> 00:09:57,660 but we're not gonna get back together. 237 00:09:58,330 --> 00:10:02,580 Hypothetically, suppose she told me I had... 238 00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:04,330 two years. 239 00:10:04,410 --> 00:10:06,990 Would that alter your thinking about us at all? 240 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:11,370 - You mean, get together for two years until you died? - Yeah. Yeah. 241 00:10:11,450 --> 00:10:12,930 I think you'd have a pretty good time. 242 00:10:12,990 --> 00:10:15,240 - Do you? Yeah. - Yeah, I'd be complaining a little bit. 243 00:10:15,330 --> 00:10:17,290 But I can get a nurse and complain to the nurse 244 00:10:17,370 --> 00:10:19,160 and leave you out of that part. 245 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:22,870 Well, let's see what the tests... say. 246 00:10:23,410 --> 00:10:25,240 You know, we could do a lot of traveling. 247 00:10:25,330 --> 00:10:26,620 You don't like to travel. 248 00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:29,080 Would you mind if I brought the nurse along? 249 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:32,200 Okay. I think we're good the way we are. 250 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:35,990 Yeah. 251 00:10:36,450 --> 00:10:38,950 ♪ 252 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:41,160 All right. 253 00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:45,500 - What are you gonna get? - I don't give a fuck. 254 00:10:46,540 --> 00:10:48,160 Milos: Okay, Mr. Greene. 255 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:51,290 -Almost finished. Just need to pick up two... -Larry: Hey, Milos! 256 00:10:51,370 --> 00:10:53,660 How ya doing? 257 00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:56,620 - Good. How are you? - Good. You coming over to the coffee store later? 258 00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:59,470 -Of course. I'll be there. I got to finish up. See you. -Larry: Beautiful. Thank you. 259 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:02,790 - Milos, he's gonna be doing some work in the coffee place. - Yeah, he's fantastic. 260 00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,240 Wh-what's that? 261 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,290 It's a little somethin' for your wife. 262 00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:08,660 A birthday present. Huh? 263 00:11:09,290 --> 00:11:11,160 So how'd it go with Cheryl? 264 00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:13,040 Not gonna happen. 265 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,790 - No! - Yeah. 266 00:11:14,870 --> 00:11:17,330 - I'm sorry, man. - Well, you know, it's a long shot, anyway. 267 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,970 - Did you think it would happen? - No, I knew it was a long shot, 268 00:11:19,990 --> 00:11:21,790 but what are, you know, what are you gonna do? 269 00:11:21,990 --> 00:11:24,830 I'll tell you what you do. You're gonna get back out there. 270 00:11:24,910 --> 00:11:26,830 You can't date now. You can't... 271 00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:28,700 How do you even make a move in this climate? 272 00:11:28,790 --> 00:11:33,160 Plus, I got that sexual harassment thing from the, uh, assistant. 273 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,660 And I'm old and bald. 274 00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:36,990 - Old and bald. - Yeah. 275 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,960 - That means nothing. - Please. Are you kidding? 276 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:42,450 - You're rich! - You think rich beats old and bald? 277 00:11:42,540 --> 00:11:46,120 You could have mutton chops and wear a, a cartoon tie 278 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,200 of, uh, Felix the Cat. 279 00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:49,750 Some old-timey cartoon. 280 00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:52,080 - You can, you can paint them blue, 281 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,830 and wear an Abe Lincoln hat. You'll be fine. 282 00:11:54,950 --> 00:11:56,290 - Really? - Trust me. Yeah. 283 00:11:56,370 --> 00:11:58,120 Okay. I'm gonna get back out there. 284 00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,500 I gotta ask you something. 285 00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:01,540 The other night at poker, 286 00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:03,700 that invitation, it, it didn't get lost. 287 00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,800 - No, of course not. - You made that whole thing up. 288 00:12:05,830 --> 00:12:08,080 - Yeah. Totally made it up. - Oh, you're good. 289 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:09,540 Blame it on the mailman. 290 00:12:09,620 --> 00:12:11,160 - Blame it on the mailman. - Yeah. 291 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,120 - Susie: Jeffrey! - Oh... 292 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,870 - Oh, hi, Lar. - Oh, hello. 293 00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:17,040 - I didn't know you were here. - Larry: I am here. 294 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,500 - Yeah? What? - Stand right there. 295 00:12:19,580 --> 00:12:21,040 - Susie: Okay. - Don't move. 296 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,620 What? What? What? 297 00:12:22,990 --> 00:12:26,040 -What is that? -What is it? It's for you! 298 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,870 - For your birthday! - You've never gotten me a birthday gift. 299 00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:30,120 I did this year! 300 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,120 Yeah, what is it? What is it? 301 00:12:33,370 --> 00:12:35,750 Susie: Oh, my God. Larry! 302 00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:37,790 - Oh, my God! - Huh? You love it? 303 00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:39,750 Larry: I had it commissioned. A great artist. 304 00:12:39,830 --> 00:12:41,120 Gave me a big discount. 305 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,620 - You had this made for me? - Yeah. 306 00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:47,080 - From you, of all people, 'cause you're not a giver. - No. 307 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,450 Susie: Oh, my God. 308 00:12:49,540 --> 00:12:52,450 It's absolutely magnificent. 309 00:12:52,540 --> 00:12:55,500 It's magnificent. It's a work of art. 310 00:12:55,580 --> 00:12:57,330 It's not just 'cause it's me. 311 00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,240 All is forgiven. 312 00:12:59,330 --> 00:13:00,910 Everything you've ever done, 313 00:13:00,990 --> 00:13:02,120 every horrible thing 314 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,080 you've done to me is forgiven for this. 315 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,720 What are you talking about? What have I done? 316 00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:07,800 - Oh, my God. Jeff, what... - What are you forgiving? 317 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:11,040 Oh, wait a minute. I gotta go talk to this fuckin' Milos. 318 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:14,870 Screwing up my deck. Hey, Milos! Milos! 319 00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:16,370 What were you thinking? 320 00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:18,990 I thought I told you a camera, a fucking camera. 321 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,930 - Susie: This is mahogany cream. - You fucked me. 322 00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:23,140 - Larry: What? - Susie: It's shit. Do you understand what I'm saying? 323 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:26,660 -Milo: I wrote it down. Mahogany cream. -Yes! This is mahogany cream! 324 00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:29,330 - This is not mahogany cream! - This is mahogany cream. 325 00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:31,950 I'm not paying for this piece of shit crap! 326 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,790 You redo it, or you don't get paid. 327 00:13:34,870 --> 00:13:36,870 It's bullshit! 328 00:13:38,990 --> 00:13:41,870 - That poor bastard never had a chance. - No. 329 00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:45,870 ♪ ♪ 330 00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:51,580 - Mr. David? - Yeah? 331 00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:53,660 I've heard that you're going around telling people 332 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,450 that I've lost their invitations? 333 00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:57,120 Wh-where'd you get that from? 334 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,950 Andy and Cassie David told me. 335 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,990 Can I tell you a little story? 336 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,990 I got invited to some kind of fundraiser, 337 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:06,120 prison art something. I... you know, I'm not gonna... 338 00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:09,040 I'm not gonna do that. So I said... 339 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,910 I never got the invitation. It got lost in the mail. 340 00:14:13,830 --> 00:14:15,240 - Lost in the mail. - Yeah. 341 00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:16,910 So, I'm the mail. 342 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:19,800 -Yes. In this particular case... -I'm the guy that is delivering the mail, 343 00:14:19,830 --> 00:14:21,870 so that is a stain on an otherwise perfect record. 344 00:14:21,950 --> 00:14:23,660 I've never lost a piece of mail. 345 00:14:24,410 --> 00:14:28,080 - Come on. All right. - Listen, I just need you to please... 346 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,160 go tell Andy and Cassie the truth about this. 347 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,790 I'll consider it. Look, can I give you a little tip? 348 00:14:32,870 --> 00:14:34,580 If you're gonna confront somebody 349 00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,750 and ask them to do something like this, 350 00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:38,990 it's better to do it with pants on. 351 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,330 The shorts... 352 00:14:40,410 --> 00:14:42,660 This is the required uniform for a postman. 353 00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:44,870 - Really? - Yeah. 354 00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:46,370 And the socks, too? 355 00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,410 -That's part of it? The black socks? -Right. 356 00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:50,910 Yes. Post Office issued socks. Yes. 357 00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:52,200 They issue socks? 358 00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:53,790 - Yeah. - How many pairs? 359 00:14:53,870 --> 00:14:55,620 What does that have to do with this? 360 00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:57,390 I'm just curious how often you have to wash those socks. 361 00:14:57,410 --> 00:14:59,870 They give you five or six pairs, and you rotate them. Okay? 362 00:14:59,950 --> 00:15:02,010 - How many pairs of shorts do they give you? - Listen. 363 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:03,850 If you don't want to go to something, don't go, 364 00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:06,080 but don't hide behind the US Postal Service. 365 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,500 It's hard to take a person seriously wearing shorts. 366 00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:10,750 I'm at work, doing work. This is my work uniform. 367 00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:12,680 - I'm confronting you. - I'm giving you, I'm giving you... 368 00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,720 - Excuse me one second. I was giving you a good tip. 369 00:15:14,750 --> 00:15:16,040 - Good advice. - Take the call. 370 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,100 - I'm givin' you good advice. - Just take the call. 371 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,370 Hello? 372 00:15:19,450 --> 00:15:21,200 - Larry David? - Larry: Yes? 373 00:15:21,290 --> 00:15:22,370 It's Dr. Bahn. 374 00:15:22,450 --> 00:15:24,160 The test results came back. 375 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,080 Aah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 376 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,660 Dr. Bahn: As you know, we did a fine-needle biopsy, 377 00:15:28,750 --> 00:15:30,450 - on the mass. - Oh, my God. This is bad. 378 00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:32,620 - Dr. Bahn: And an MRI. - It's bad. It's bad. What? 379 00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:35,870 It's just a benign cyst, not cancerous. 380 00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:38,950 - You're clean as a whistle. - Ah! Ha-ha! 381 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,240 Ah! Ha-ha-ha-ha! 382 00:15:41,330 --> 00:15:43,750 - Oh, thank you. Thank you! - Dr. Bahn: You're welcome. 383 00:15:43,830 --> 00:15:46,870 Ah! Negative! Negative! 384 00:15:47,370 --> 00:15:49,370 - Ah! - Just... okay? 385 00:15:49,450 --> 00:15:51,260 - Fine. The matter at hand... - I'll, I'll talk to 'em. 386 00:15:51,290 --> 00:15:53,720 -Please tell Andy and Cassie... -I'll talk to 'em. I'll talk to 'em. 387 00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:55,660 Yes. 388 00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:58,040 Rita: Mr. Swindell will be here in five minutes. 389 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,160 - Make yourself comfortable. - Okay. 390 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:01,330 All right. 391 00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,500 ♪ ♪ 392 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,750 ♪ 393 00:16:31,910 --> 00:16:33,990 ♪ ♪ 394 00:16:46,580 --> 00:16:48,750 - Okay. Hey, Larry. - Larry: Oh, hey! 395 00:16:48,830 --> 00:16:51,240 - Sorry to keep you waiting. - Oh, no, no. Don't be silly. 396 00:16:51,330 --> 00:16:52,830 All's good? You've been well? 397 00:16:52,910 --> 00:16:57,040 Funny you should mention it, 'cause I had a bit of a scare 398 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,620 at the doctor, I just got the results back, 399 00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:02,370 and, uh... I'm good. 400 00:17:02,450 --> 00:17:04,120 Oh, that's great. You must be relieved. 401 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,500 Well, I'm relieved, except it's been two days since I found out, 402 00:17:07,580 --> 00:17:11,160 and not one of my friends has inquired 403 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,750 as to how the test turned out, not one. 404 00:17:13,830 --> 00:17:16,500 - I see. - I'm gonna dump the whole bunch of 'em. 405 00:17:16,580 --> 00:17:19,080 - I'll get myself some new friends. - That's great news. 406 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:22,700 - Maybe, uh, maybe we could strike up a friendship. - I'm relieved for you. 407 00:17:23,700 --> 00:17:25,870 I, I have a busy life, and, uh... 408 00:17:25,950 --> 00:17:28,290 but, uh, I am, I am really relieved 409 00:17:28,370 --> 00:17:29,890 - that you got the news that you got. - Mm, thank you. 410 00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:32,370 And I have some other good news for you, too. 411 00:17:32,450 --> 00:17:35,200 Which is that Ms. Huff's team gave me a call, 412 00:17:35,290 --> 00:17:37,830 and she would like to meet with you. 413 00:17:37,910 --> 00:17:39,330 Face-to-face, 414 00:17:39,410 --> 00:17:41,430 just the two of you alone in a public place, of course. 415 00:17:41,450 --> 00:17:42,660 Alice wants to meet? 416 00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:44,700 The fact that she is reaching out is great. 417 00:17:44,790 --> 00:17:47,160 That's fantastic. Maybe she's come to her senses. 418 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,410 If you just give her the chance to air 419 00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:51,550 whatever she wants to air, listen to her, and maybe... 420 00:17:51,580 --> 00:17:53,760 Yeah, sure, yeah. I'll listen. I'll... we'll air. Yeah, listen and air. 421 00:17:53,790 --> 00:17:55,620 Roger: Then the whole thing could go away. 422 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,350 - That's good news. Look at you. The bearer of good tidings. - Uh, sorry. 423 00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:01,120 Hold on one second. Just to get a tissue. 424 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,160 ♪ ♪ 425 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,830 What's up? 426 00:18:18,370 --> 00:18:20,200 Problem? 427 00:18:20,290 --> 00:18:21,620 Did you use my bathroom? 428 00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,410 What? No. Absolutely not. 429 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:25,660 Why would I use your bathroom? You told me not to. 430 00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:27,410 I mean, you did ask to use it. 431 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:30,410 Yes, I did, but you were quite emphatic about it. 432 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:32,580 And, uh, you know, well, what am I gonna do? 433 00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:35,790 - That's, that's the rule. - Your interest was not casual. 434 00:18:35,870 --> 00:18:37,870 I'm telling you the truth. 435 00:18:38,330 --> 00:18:42,040 ♪ 436 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:47,330 - It's your old pal. - Mr. David. 437 00:18:47,410 --> 00:18:51,410 Beautiful view here. How long did it take you to take it for granted? 438 00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,790 Um... not long, I guess. 439 00:18:53,870 --> 00:18:55,830 It would take me about a day, maybe less, 440 00:18:55,910 --> 00:18:57,290 maybe a half an hour. 441 00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,370 And I would never look out the window again 442 00:18:59,450 --> 00:19:01,620 and go, "Ooh, look at that view." 443 00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:04,450 Anyway, here for some validation. 444 00:19:04,540 --> 00:19:06,120 Can I ask you something? 445 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,870 Swindell... have you ever used his bathroom? 446 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,330 - I have. - What? 447 00:19:12,410 --> 00:19:15,620 Why fly public when you can fly private, am I right? 448 00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:17,700 I mean, the public toilets, forget it. 449 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,100 - Don't get me started. - You can't do it. 450 00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:20,790 Have you been in a woman's restroom? 451 00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:23,040 Do you know how vile women can be? 452 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:26,080 Women? Oh, that's nothing compared to a men's room, nothing. 453 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,120 You guys get to stand up. We have to sit down. 454 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,620 Hey, you know what? I'll take you out for a night on the town. 455 00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:32,080 We'll go toilet-hopping. 456 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,050 We'll, we'll look at men's rooms and ladies' rooms, 457 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,580 and we'll make a little comparison. Would you like to do that? 458 00:19:36,660 --> 00:19:39,410 - As in a date? - Yes, yes, a date. 459 00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:42,700 I know this is something you've probably been dreaming about most of your life. 460 00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:45,700 "Oh, dear God, please let me meet an old bald man, 461 00:19:45,790 --> 00:19:47,290 "who will take me toilet-hopping, 462 00:19:47,370 --> 00:19:50,120 "from toilet to toilet, throughout the town. 463 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,450 Please, God. Please make that happen." 464 00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:55,830 I'm game. 465 00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:59,120 I, I, I don't even know what to say. I'm shocked. 466 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,160 - Validation? - Yes. And your name is? 467 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:03,450 My name is Rita. 468 00:20:03,540 --> 00:20:05,830 Rita. You'll be hearing from me. 469 00:20:05,910 --> 00:20:08,240 You lucky gal! 470 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:12,240 ♪ ♪ 471 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,450 What? What? 472 00:20:15,950 --> 00:20:17,580 Larry? 473 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,910 - Hey. - What's in there? 474 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,580 Oh, it's a, uh... coffee place. 475 00:20:23,660 --> 00:20:25,900 I'm opening up a spite store to take him out of business. 476 00:20:26,330 --> 00:20:29,040 I don't know what a spite store is, and I don't really care. 477 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:32,330 - I want to talk to you about something. - Sure. 478 00:20:32,410 --> 00:20:35,200 Somebody told me you were side-sitting Cheryl. 479 00:20:35,290 --> 00:20:38,790 -Who told you that? -The mailman. He said he was in a restaurant 480 00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:40,240 and saw you side-sitting. 481 00:20:40,330 --> 00:20:42,660 You're making too much about a side-sit. 482 00:20:42,750 --> 00:20:44,160 I side-sit with everybody. 483 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,050 I side-sit with my doctor, I side-sit with my therapist. 484 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:47,870 I've never seen you side-sit anybody. 485 00:20:47,950 --> 00:20:51,500 If you ever see me sitting, you'll see me side-sitting. 486 00:20:58,790 --> 00:20:59,990 Hello? 487 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,790 What were you thinkin' gettin' Susie that painting? 488 00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:04,910 Aah, I'm-I'm so sorry. 489 00:21:04,990 --> 00:21:07,370 It stares at me! It's just there! 490 00:21:07,450 --> 00:21:09,750 I go for a snack, it's staring at me! 491 00:21:09,830 --> 00:21:11,750 I wish there was somethin' I could do. 492 00:21:11,830 --> 00:21:13,290 Well, I told you to get her a camera! 493 00:21:13,370 --> 00:21:14,830 Why couldn't you get her a camera?! 494 00:21:14,910 --> 00:21:16,830 I should have given her the camera. 495 00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:18,240 Jeff: Next time get her a camera! 496 00:21:18,330 --> 00:21:19,640 Believe me, there won't be a next time! 497 00:21:19,660 --> 00:21:21,410 Good! Don't get her anything again! 498 00:21:21,500 --> 00:21:23,430 I will never give anyone a gift again. What do you think about that? 499 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,180 Jeff: I think it's the best idea you've had all day! 500 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,600 - I'm done with presents! - My birthday's coming up in a month! 501 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,100 - What are you gettin' me?! - Nothin'! 502 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:30,990 - Jeff: Ha! Thank you! - You're welcome! 503 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:31,950 Aah! 504 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,160 ♪ 505 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,500 - Larry: I like what you did with this apartment. - Rita: Thank you. 506 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,410 - Larry: You play the piano? - Rita: I don't. No. 507 00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:45,240 I borrowed it. 508 00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:48,700 You don't play, and you borrowed a piano? 509 00:21:48,790 --> 00:21:50,750 It was a joke. I didn't borrow the piano. 510 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:53,290 Well, that's quite a, uh... 511 00:21:53,370 --> 00:21:55,240 That's quite an attempt at a joke. 512 00:21:55,330 --> 00:21:57,370 Thank you. You could use it. 513 00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:58,700 That's okay. 514 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:03,830 All right, well, we've come to that juncture in the evening where... 515 00:22:04,370 --> 00:22:08,580 a move of some kind is either... 516 00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:13,290 required or, uh... expected. 517 00:22:13,370 --> 00:22:14,830 I agree. 518 00:22:14,910 --> 00:22:16,240 - You agree? - I do. 519 00:22:16,330 --> 00:22:18,580 -That's good. That's good. Now... -That's good. 520 00:22:18,660 --> 00:22:20,450 Given the current climate, 521 00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:23,660 I would like to ask you a series of questions 522 00:22:23,750 --> 00:22:26,660 to determine how comfortable you are 523 00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:29,540 with physical contact as it progresses. 524 00:22:29,620 --> 00:22:31,120 All right. That sounds fair. 525 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:35,200 I'd like to begin by taking my right hand 526 00:22:35,290 --> 00:22:37,580 and place it on your right shoulder. 527 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,830 - Would that be acceptable? - That is acceptable. Yes. 528 00:22:40,910 --> 00:22:42,870 - Ah. Okay. - Okay. 529 00:22:45,370 --> 00:22:48,580 - Now I'd like to take this left hand of mine... - Yes. 530 00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:51,040 And place it under your rib cage, 531 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:52,790 fairly close to the right breast, 532 00:22:52,870 --> 00:22:54,330 but keeping a safe distance. 533 00:22:54,410 --> 00:22:56,120 That is acceptable. 534 00:22:57,790 --> 00:22:59,500 - There we go. - That's very nice. 535 00:22:59,580 --> 00:23:02,160 Ah! By the way, throughout this process, 536 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,410 I would encourage any feedback. 537 00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:07,660 - Well, and I would expect the same from you. - Oh. 538 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:12,200 How would you feel about a little grazing of the lips? 539 00:23:12,290 --> 00:23:14,290 I think I would feel very good about that. 540 00:23:14,370 --> 00:23:17,080 Well, then a grazing you shall have. 541 00:23:19,790 --> 00:23:21,120 Aha. 542 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,790 And now... 543 00:23:22,870 --> 00:23:24,330 I would like to... 544 00:23:24,410 --> 00:23:26,660 graze again, but this time, 545 00:23:26,750 --> 00:23:29,580 with some intertwining of the tongue. 546 00:23:30,330 --> 00:23:32,950 - We could do that. - Excellent! 547 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:38,790 Hmm. 548 00:23:38,870 --> 00:23:41,540 Well, now I think we have to take a little break. 549 00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:45,370 With your permission, of course, I would like to take a video 550 00:23:45,450 --> 00:23:48,080 in order to document the evening. 551 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,240 You know, just in case there are any discrepancies 552 00:23:51,330 --> 00:23:54,160 of the he-said, she-said variety. 553 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,450 - Would you be able to forward that to me? - Of course. 554 00:23:56,540 --> 00:23:58,500 I will forward it to you and cc, 555 00:23:58,580 --> 00:24:00,580 or bcc to anyone you like. 556 00:24:00,660 --> 00:24:01,750 Fantastic. 557 00:24:01,830 --> 00:24:04,290 Larry: Begin session. 558 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,330 - This is Rita. - Hi. 559 00:24:07,410 --> 00:24:09,700 Um, Rita, you're here under your own volition? 560 00:24:09,790 --> 00:24:12,910 -I am. Yes. -Nobody forced you here. Isn't that correct? 561 00:24:12,990 --> 00:24:14,580 That is correct. Nobody forced me. 562 00:24:14,660 --> 00:24:17,080 - You're not here under duress of any kind? - No. 563 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,080 - You're kind of enjoying yourself, are you not? - I am. 564 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,040 Nothing, uh, untoward has happened. 565 00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:23,800 Nothing's happened without your permission. 566 00:24:23,830 --> 00:24:25,500 - Absolutely not. - Thus far. 567 00:24:25,580 --> 00:24:27,160 Okay. 568 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:28,620 - Let's continue. - Let's. 569 00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:32,330 I'm placing my right hand back on her right shoulder, 570 00:24:32,410 --> 00:24:35,080 - with her permission, of course. - Yes. 571 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,870 And now, what I'd like to do is take this left hand, 572 00:24:38,950 --> 00:24:40,910 which I've introduced to you earlier, 573 00:24:40,990 --> 00:24:43,120 I'm going to place it on your inner thigh, 574 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,450 and slowly inch my way up, 575 00:24:46,540 --> 00:24:49,620 in a crab-like fashion, 576 00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:51,990 Well, seeing as it is our first date, Larry, 577 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,910 I think that I'm going to have to say no to that. 578 00:24:55,540 --> 00:24:57,830 - I'm perfectly okay with that. - Okay. 579 00:24:57,910 --> 00:25:00,450 And what if I took this same left hand, 580 00:25:00,540 --> 00:25:02,080 and extended it laterally, 581 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:03,950 and somehow wind up 582 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:05,950 on that right breast, 583 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:09,700 and perhaps, uh, gave it a little, uh, squeeze. 584 00:25:09,790 --> 00:25:12,870 Uh, that would be the worst thing in the world? 585 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,200 I'm gonna have to say no again. 586 00:25:15,290 --> 00:25:16,700 Okay. Another no. 587 00:25:16,790 --> 00:25:19,660 Hand's away. Look at the hand. All gone. 588 00:25:19,750 --> 00:25:21,450 Well. 589 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:26,120 - It seems we've reached a bit of an impasse. - I think so. 590 00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:29,870 End session. 591 00:25:29,950 --> 00:25:33,040 ♪ ♪ 592 00:25:40,290 --> 00:25:42,990 Well, I'd like to propose a toast 593 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:44,500 to Andy and Cassie. 594 00:25:44,580 --> 00:25:46,330 - Welcome to the West Coast. - Hear! Hear! 595 00:25:46,410 --> 00:25:48,620 - I'm sorry it took us so long to get you here. 596 00:25:48,700 --> 00:25:50,390 - Susie: But here you are. - Andy: Thank you so much. 597 00:25:50,410 --> 00:25:52,240 - Jeff: Yes. - It's a beautiful home. 598 00:25:52,330 --> 00:25:54,390 - Susie: Yeah, well, you know I have a... - And this is... 599 00:25:54,410 --> 00:25:55,870 This is quite an addition. 600 00:25:55,950 --> 00:25:57,540 Isn't it? Isn't that something? 601 00:25:57,620 --> 00:25:59,040 You know, if I tell you 602 00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:00,910 who got that for me, you're gonna be shocked. 603 00:26:00,990 --> 00:26:03,500 Larry David, the most thoughtful man 604 00:26:03,580 --> 00:26:05,950 I've ever met, had that commissioned. 605 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:07,950 Where do you find an artist like that? 606 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,410 You'll find it. You look it up. 607 00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:13,290 You know what I love about it is... 608 00:26:13,790 --> 00:26:15,330 - the size. - Susie: The dimensions. 609 00:26:15,410 --> 00:26:16,680 - Yes. I know. - Oh, the dimensions. 610 00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:18,870 Anything smaller would have felt too small. 611 00:26:18,950 --> 00:26:20,540 Bigger would have felt ostentatious. 612 00:26:20,620 --> 00:26:22,200 Richard: It's not even that, Susie. 613 00:26:22,290 --> 00:26:24,990 Know what it is? I've never seen you with, I don't know, 614 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,950 with such a joy for life 615 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,970 - in that painting. - Susie: Yeah, they captured that in me, didn't they? 616 00:26:28,990 --> 00:26:30,870 - Richard: Absolutely. - Andy: It's something. 617 00:26:30,990 --> 00:26:32,750 Did you have to send him a picture 618 00:26:32,830 --> 00:26:34,500 and then he painted it from that? 619 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,450 Yeah. 620 00:26:36,540 --> 00:26:38,680 Cassie: How long does it take once you get the artist... 621 00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:40,540 I don't know. A couple of weeks. 622 00:26:40,620 --> 00:26:42,500 -Okay? Took a couple of weeks. -Cassie: Okay. 623 00:26:42,580 --> 00:26:44,990 - Mm. - LD, what the hell's wrong with you? 624 00:26:46,700 --> 00:26:49,660 Three days now. I've gotten the results back from my cancer test. 625 00:26:49,750 --> 00:26:51,790 Not one of you bothered to call me and ask me 626 00:26:51,870 --> 00:26:53,950 if I got the results back. Not one. 627 00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:58,330 And by the way, I did, and I'm fine. Okay? 628 00:26:59,620 --> 00:27:03,580 - Skyler had this paper due for social studies. - It was on Cuba. 629 00:27:03,660 --> 00:27:05,450 We were, we're very immersed in it. 630 00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:07,850 - I'm sorry. You're right. - Cassie: He's been working with her nonstop. 631 00:27:07,870 --> 00:27:10,750 And I, I, I honestly planned on it, 632 00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:13,370 but I, I, I planned on it. 633 00:27:13,450 --> 00:27:15,450 I ain't gonna lie, man. I fuckin' forgot. 634 00:27:15,540 --> 00:27:18,580 -Leon: My bad. -I already explained myself. All right? 635 00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:20,240 What kind of friends are you? 636 00:27:20,330 --> 00:27:22,120 Seriously! What kind of friends are you? 637 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,010 - But you're fine, right? - Larry: Yeah, I'm fine! 638 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,200 You know what? You can all go fuck yourself! 639 00:27:26,290 --> 00:27:27,500 Leon: Oh, shit! 640 00:27:27,580 --> 00:27:29,370 Richard: Holy Christ! 641 00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:37,200 You ruined my painting! You destroyed it! 642 00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:40,200 Jeff? 643 00:27:40,540 --> 00:27:43,080 What kind of piece of shit, 644 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:45,370 motherfucker does something like that? 645 00:27:45,450 --> 00:27:47,700 Where the fuck do you get off? 646 00:27:47,790 --> 00:27:49,870 This was the prized possession 647 00:27:49,950 --> 00:27:52,990 - of this household. - I'm so sorry. 648 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:54,750 - So... You know what? - What? 649 00:27:54,830 --> 00:27:56,450 I'm gonna replace that painting. 650 00:27:56,540 --> 00:27:58,790 I'm gonna give it to the artist, he's gonna fix it, 651 00:27:58,870 --> 00:28:00,410 it's gonna be better than ever. 652 00:28:00,500 --> 00:28:03,080 You don't bring it back until it's perfect. 653 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:05,240 - Don't worry. I won't. - Wait. Stop, stop! 654 00:28:05,330 --> 00:28:08,200 We were at LACMA, and we met this guy who restores paintings. 655 00:28:08,290 --> 00:28:10,990 -He restores paintings. He's amazing! -No, no, no, no. 656 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:14,200 - Larry, we're gonna help out. Don't you worry. 657 00:28:14,290 --> 00:28:16,950 Hey! Shut the fuck up! I told you I'm gonna do it! 658 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,910 Okay! Okay! 659 00:28:19,830 --> 00:28:21,330 Susie: God! 660 00:28:21,410 --> 00:28:22,830 Larry: You know what? 661 00:28:22,910 --> 00:28:26,330 I think this whole thing can be a blessing in disguise. 662 00:28:26,410 --> 00:28:29,410 -Really? -Jeff: Oh, blessing in disguise? You tell me how. 663 00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:32,080 I've never been entirely happy with this painting. 664 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,410 He didn't really capture the luster of your skin. 665 00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:37,700 - Or, or the sparkle in your eyes. 666 00:28:37,790 --> 00:28:39,450 The sparkle in her eyes. 667 00:28:39,540 --> 00:28:41,120 Now I realize it. 668 00:28:41,580 --> 00:28:44,080 A blessing in disguise. 669 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,580 Okay. Thank you. 670 00:28:46,950 --> 00:28:49,160 - Susie: Let's eat. - Let's eat. 671 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,760 Milos: So, Larry, we almost finished here. 672 00:28:53,790 --> 00:28:56,750 You got... You're two-thirds done already. It's incredible. 673 00:28:56,830 --> 00:28:59,500 Plus, I have extra boards for you. 674 00:28:59,580 --> 00:29:01,700 I take it to your house and fix your pantry like new. 675 00:29:01,790 --> 00:29:03,200 - No charge. - What? 676 00:29:03,290 --> 00:29:05,180 - Believe me, I'm gonna pay you. - Larry, I take care of you. 677 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,500 - I can take the stuff to your house right now. 678 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:12,450 Ha. Mrs. Greene. 679 00:29:12,540 --> 00:29:15,450 She make bad recommendation all over town about my business. 680 00:29:15,540 --> 00:29:16,750 - What? - Yes. 681 00:29:16,830 --> 00:29:18,870 -Oh, my God. -Remember? I make mahogany cream? 682 00:29:18,950 --> 00:29:20,040 - Yes. - I work so hard? 683 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:21,410 - Yes. - I make it nice? 684 00:29:21,500 --> 00:29:23,370 -I know. -And what she do? She ruined my name. 685 00:29:23,450 --> 00:29:26,750 Oh, she's terrible. No friend of the working man. 686 00:29:26,830 --> 00:29:28,700 Okay. Larry, listen, 687 00:29:28,790 --> 00:29:31,660 I can go right now. I take the boards to your house, 688 00:29:31,750 --> 00:29:34,330 - and I make it fast. - Great idea. 689 00:29:34,410 --> 00:29:38,370 ♪ ♪ 690 00:29:46,330 --> 00:29:49,990 mahogany cream! 691 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:54,620 Mahogany cream! 692 00:29:55,660 --> 00:29:57,750 I mean, the whole thing was just a series 693 00:29:57,830 --> 00:29:59,750 of unfortunate misunderstandings. 694 00:29:59,830 --> 00:30:01,410 That wasn't Harvey Weinstein. 695 00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:03,830 That was Jeff Greene, my manager. 696 00:30:03,910 --> 00:30:06,370 I guess the culture's just sort of changing, and... 697 00:30:06,450 --> 00:30:08,450 - Hmm. Yeah. - Um, we're 698 00:30:08,540 --> 00:30:11,950 - defining our boundaries more. - Boundaries. Boundaries. Yes. 699 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:14,540 And personal space, like for instance, my tattoo. 700 00:30:14,620 --> 00:30:16,620 You don't get to demand to know what it's about, 701 00:30:16,700 --> 00:30:18,470 -because it's on my body. -Larry: No, of course not. Of course not. 702 00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:22,160 I, I'm not that guy. I know who you think... I'm not that guy. 703 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,040 - Okay. - We don't need lawyers or anything like that. 704 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,450 Come back to work. Bring Bogey. I miss Bogey. 705 00:30:28,540 --> 00:30:30,830 I miss that little doggy. 706 00:30:30,910 --> 00:30:33,660 - Larry: I'll bring him five bowls, okay? - Okay. 707 00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:35,870 If we can go back with like a mutual respect 708 00:30:35,950 --> 00:30:37,620 and honesty, um... 709 00:30:37,700 --> 00:30:39,800 - Alice: I really appreciate your openness. - Ted: That's funny. 710 00:30:39,830 --> 00:30:42,660 You know, this is how culture moves forward. 711 00:30:42,750 --> 00:30:44,990 - Yeah. - What are you doing? 712 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,660 - I'm side-sitting. - You can't side-sit with me. 713 00:30:47,750 --> 00:30:49,850 No, no. Wait. Where are you going? Stay here just one second. 714 00:30:49,870 --> 00:30:50,910 - Oh, my God. - Sit quiet. 715 00:30:50,990 --> 00:30:52,700 - Let go! Oh, my God. - Ted: Huh. 716 00:30:55,290 --> 00:30:56,950 Hmm? 717 00:30:57,790 --> 00:31:00,370 All right. You're all right. 718 00:31:00,450 --> 00:31:03,620 Let go of me! I came here with an open mind. 719 00:31:03,700 --> 00:31:06,080 - No, no, I... - You don't get to grab me, 720 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,700 - at a banquette or side-sit! - No, I had to side-sit. 721 00:31:08,790 --> 00:31:10,160 I had to side-sit because... 722 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:11,990 I had to side-sit because I... 723 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,240 Aah, what are you... No, Alice! 724 00:31:16,660 --> 00:31:18,240 Hey, uh... 725 00:31:18,330 --> 00:31:19,650 How'd those test results turn out? 726 00:31:19,700 --> 00:31:21,140 You know, everybody here is really pulling for you. 727 00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,330 Oh, they turned out just fine. Thank you very much. 728 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:26,870 What a blessing. 729 00:31:26,950 --> 00:31:28,990 ♪ 730 00:31:30,540 --> 00:31:33,080 So Victor and Sammi want to buy a house. What do you think? 731 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:34,620 We give 'em a down payment. 732 00:31:34,700 --> 00:31:36,950 Is that too generous? You know, I never know. 733 00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:40,450 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Slow down, slow down, slow down. 734 00:31:40,540 --> 00:31:42,500 What the fuck? 735 00:31:42,580 --> 00:31:45,870 Larry, what the hell did you do to my picture? 736 00:31:45,950 --> 00:31:48,870 Oh, my God! It was beautiful, 737 00:31:48,950 --> 00:31:51,370 and it's all destroyed! 738 00:31:51,450 --> 00:31:53,540 You piece of shit, Larry! 739 00:31:53,620 --> 00:31:57,620 You piece of fucking turd nothing! Fuck you! 740 00:31:57,700 --> 00:31:59,540 Asshole! 741 00:31:59,620 --> 00:32:01,120 Lucy: Mr. David. 742 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,290 Did you ask Ms. Huff inappropriate questions 743 00:32:04,370 --> 00:32:06,620 about her relationship with her dog, Bogey? 744 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,830 - I guess that all depends on... - Wait. Objection. Relevance. 745 00:32:09,910 --> 00:32:12,410 When she asked you to stop asking questions about her tattoo, 746 00:32:12,500 --> 00:32:13,830 did you respect her wishes? 747 00:32:13,910 --> 00:32:17,080 I was very curious about it. There's a guy with one eye. 748 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,990 I thought it might have been Mr. Clean. 749 00:32:20,950 --> 00:32:22,500 Do you have any idea? 750 00:32:22,910 --> 00:32:24,990 I have no further questions for the witness. 751 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,910 - You may go. - Thank you. 752 00:32:26,990 --> 00:32:28,870 Okay. I actually just have a couple, Lucy. 753 00:32:28,950 --> 00:32:30,590 Mr. David, the answers you're giving today 754 00:32:30,660 --> 00:32:32,260 are your sworn testimony, isn't that right? 755 00:32:32,290 --> 00:32:34,540 -Mm-hmm. -You came here of your own volition, 756 00:32:34,620 --> 00:32:35,910 - voluntarily? - I did. 757 00:32:35,990 --> 00:32:37,260 Because you want the truth to be known. 758 00:32:37,290 --> 00:32:39,990 - Absolutely. - I just have one question. 759 00:32:41,330 --> 00:32:43,160 Did you... 760 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,700 use my bathroom? 761 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,790 - No. - Roger: I grow tired of asking, Mr. David. 762 00:32:50,870 --> 00:32:52,830 And I remind you, you're under oath. 763 00:32:52,910 --> 00:32:57,450 Did you or did you not use my bathroom?! 764 00:33:10,950 --> 00:33:13,040 ♪ ♪ 765 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:44,910 ♪ ♪ 766 00:34:01,790 --> 00:34:03,290 ♪ ♪ 767 00:34:03,370 --> 00:34:05,050 - What are you doing? - I think I'm eating an apple. 768 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,050 Okay. I'm worried you're not taking this seriously. 769 00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:08,470 You're blithely eating an apple here. 770 00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:10,260 There's no other way to eat an apple but blithely. 771 00:34:10,290 --> 00:34:12,330 - Yeah, but I need... - That's how apples are eaten. 772 00:34:13,700 --> 00:34:15,100 How do you serve eggs without toast? 773 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:16,800 You can't serve the eggs without the toast. 774 00:34:16,830 --> 00:34:19,160 You are like a president in the 18th century 775 00:34:19,240 --> 00:34:20,580 on the back of a train saying, 776 00:34:20,660 --> 00:34:24,330 "And there will always be toast with eggs." 777 00:34:24,410 --> 00:34:27,450 I think you can introduce me sort of as a renaissance man. 778 00:34:27,750 --> 00:34:30,080 A guy who speaks six languages. 779 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,450 You wanna impress people with lies? 780 00:34:32,540 --> 00:34:33,910 Well, how else do you impress them? 781 00:34:33,990 --> 00:34:36,120 ♪