1 00:00:04,737 --> 00:00:08,393 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 2 00:00:08,611 --> 00:00:10,861 Hey. Have you ever gotten a mani-pedi? 3 00:00:11,521 --> 00:00:13,571 Uh, I've gotten a manicure. 4 00:00:13,651 --> 00:00:16,771 - Really? - Uh, but I've never got a pedicure. 5 00:00:16,861 --> 00:00:19,071 The toes rank second on the body 6 00:00:19,151 --> 00:00:21,861 only to the testicles in terms of how repulsive they are. 7 00:00:21,941 --> 00:00:24,821 - Hey. You know Hobe Turner? - He was a writer on Seinfeld. 8 00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:27,441 - Yeah. Of course. Yeah. - Okay. Doing a movie 9 00:00:27,521 --> 00:00:30,441 starring Jon Hamm, and Jon Hamm 10 00:00:30,521 --> 00:00:33,731 is playing a Larry David-type writer. 11 00:00:33,821 --> 00:00:37,321 They're going against type, and he wants to, uh, 12 00:00:37,401 --> 00:00:39,651 follow you around, spend a day with you. 13 00:00:39,731 --> 00:00:40,941 Yeah, let's do it. 14 00:00:41,021 --> 00:00:42,821 I'm gonna try and make it happen for tomorrow. 15 00:00:42,901 --> 00:00:44,377 - That'll be fun. - Yeah, it will be fun. 16 00:00:44,401 --> 00:00:45,321 We're back! 17 00:00:45,401 --> 00:00:46,651 All right, listen. 18 00:00:46,731 --> 00:00:48,941 We are not getting along at all. 19 00:00:49,021 --> 00:00:50,691 Susie and I are at odds. 20 00:00:50,771 --> 00:00:52,481 Oh, my God. I, I don't even know... 21 00:00:52,571 --> 00:00:53,821 - Saw your car! - Hi! 22 00:00:53,901 --> 00:00:55,571 - Hi, ladies. Hi. - Oh. 23 00:00:55,651 --> 00:00:57,191 - Well, well, well. - Hi. 24 00:00:57,271 --> 00:00:58,377 - Hey, look who's here? - Hey. 25 00:00:58,401 --> 00:01:00,771 - I'm glad you're here. - Are you? 26 00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:03,047 I never thought I'd hear those words come out of your mouth. 27 00:01:03,071 --> 00:01:05,401 Okay. So, Becky, my sister... 28 00:01:05,481 --> 00:01:07,457 - Uh-huh. - ...is selling that house we bought her. 29 00:01:07,481 --> 00:01:09,941 - Really? - And what's really interesting is, 30 00:01:10,021 --> 00:01:11,111 it's appreciated, 31 00:01:11,191 --> 00:01:12,707 because that section of town is, like... 32 00:01:12,731 --> 00:01:14,941 Fantastic! Make a little dough! 33 00:01:15,021 --> 00:01:16,571 Becky's gonna make some money. 34 00:01:16,651 --> 00:01:18,771 What do you mean she'll make some money? 35 00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:20,441 I bought the house. 36 00:01:20,521 --> 00:01:22,417 - We bought the house. - Okay, yeah, okay. 37 00:01:22,441 --> 00:01:24,087 - And we gave it... - We bought the house. 38 00:01:24,111 --> 00:01:25,021 - ...as a gift. - Okay. 39 00:01:25,111 --> 00:01:26,861 A gift... It wasn't a gift 40 00:01:26,941 --> 00:01:28,691 for her to sell and make money. 41 00:01:28,771 --> 00:01:30,191 It was a gift for her to live in. 42 00:01:30,271 --> 00:01:32,087 - You gave it to her. It was a gift. - Yeah. You... 43 00:01:32,111 --> 00:01:34,031 I didn't give her the house so she could sell it. 44 00:01:34,071 --> 00:01:35,431 What if she sold it in three days? 45 00:01:35,481 --> 00:01:37,001 Would she be allowed to keep the money? 46 00:01:37,071 --> 00:01:39,337 - She's flipping houses now? - She's been there for 15 years. 47 00:01:39,361 --> 00:01:40,691 That's not exactly a flip. 48 00:01:40,771 --> 00:01:43,651 So she's gonna sell it and make this tremendous profit? 49 00:01:43,731 --> 00:01:46,151 - And get everything? - That's, that's crazy talk. 50 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,877 - That's insane. - Why are you siding with him? 51 00:01:47,901 --> 00:01:49,337 - What do you mean, why am I siding with him? - No! 52 00:01:49,361 --> 00:01:50,651 That's the right thing! 53 00:01:50,731 --> 00:01:52,571 Listen, I don't wanna be 54 00:01:52,651 --> 00:01:53,571 in the middle of this. 55 00:01:53,651 --> 00:01:55,231 I don't really talk to Becky. 56 00:01:55,321 --> 00:01:56,321 Why? 57 00:01:56,401 --> 00:01:58,521 We've grown apart through the years. 58 00:01:58,611 --> 00:02:00,571 She calls me Queen Elizabeth. 59 00:02:00,651 --> 00:02:02,611 She calls herself Princess Margaret... 60 00:02:02,691 --> 00:02:04,151 - Queen Elizabeth? - Yeah. 61 00:02:04,231 --> 00:02:05,981 Oh, yeah. 'Cause you got everything. 62 00:02:06,071 --> 00:02:08,731 - That's what she says. - And she's jealous. 63 00:02:08,821 --> 00:02:10,481 So if you're comfortable... 64 00:02:10,571 --> 00:02:13,127 - going to her and asking her for money... - Oh, you better believe it. 65 00:02:13,151 --> 00:02:14,917 Oh, you better believe it. I feel comfortable. 66 00:02:14,941 --> 00:02:16,917 All right, well, you do it, because Cheryl doesn't feel comfortable. 67 00:02:16,941 --> 00:02:18,701 - Is that a character? - Yeah. Kramer. 68 00:02:18,731 --> 00:02:20,171 - Oh. - Oh, I feel comfortable. 69 00:02:20,231 --> 00:02:22,941 - Okay. - Oh, you better believe it. 70 00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:27,771 This Hobe Turner movie is, like, one of the... is a big thing for me. 71 00:02:27,861 --> 00:02:29,797 - Yeah. - And I'm excited to do it. And, you know, 72 00:02:29,821 --> 00:02:31,401 the guy is kind of based on you. 73 00:02:31,481 --> 00:02:34,441 So the best way I can figure it is to just hang out. 74 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,901 - You know. I ask... - It's not gonna be easy, Jon. 75 00:02:36,981 --> 00:02:38,521 I'm a very complex man. 76 00:02:38,611 --> 00:02:40,441 - Very complicated. - I get it. 77 00:02:40,521 --> 00:02:42,361 But I just wanna say I'd really appreciate it. 78 00:02:42,441 --> 00:02:44,151 - You'd appreciate it. - Yes, I would. 79 00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:48,231 Really. This... this word "appreciate," it's very, very odd. 80 00:02:48,321 --> 00:02:50,497 People seem to think that if they use the word "appreciate," 81 00:02:50,521 --> 00:02:52,441 all of a sudden, the seas part for them. 82 00:02:52,521 --> 00:02:55,271 "Oh, hey, I'm so sorry that I... 83 00:02:55,361 --> 00:02:57,021 "I robbed your house and burned it down. 84 00:02:57,111 --> 00:02:59,297 I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't tell the cops." 85 00:02:59,321 --> 00:03:00,246 You know? 86 00:03:00,271 --> 00:03:03,045 This is exactly what I'm talking about. 87 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:06,981 - This is perfect. - All right. Let's order the main course. 88 00:03:07,071 --> 00:03:08,611 Yes, we should. 89 00:03:08,691 --> 00:03:11,127 - There's so many things on this. - I can't look at these menus. 90 00:03:11,151 --> 00:03:13,651 There's so much. Oh, you know what? 91 00:03:13,731 --> 00:03:16,611 We should just ask them. They got... They know what they're doing. 92 00:03:16,691 --> 00:03:17,861 Ho-bo-bo. Ho-ho-ho-ho. 93 00:03:17,941 --> 00:03:19,691 Why are you... Why are you doing this? 94 00:03:19,771 --> 00:03:23,271 Excuse me. What, uh... What'd you guys get? 95 00:03:23,361 --> 00:03:24,861 Why do you want to know? 96 00:03:24,941 --> 00:03:26,861 Because we're about to order. 97 00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:28,571 But, uh, you have a menu. 98 00:03:28,651 --> 00:03:30,521 Yeah, but I figured, you know, 99 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,981 you're the experts, why not copy you. 100 00:03:33,071 --> 00:03:35,231 Why would you think we're the experts? 101 00:03:35,321 --> 00:03:36,731 Chinese. 102 00:03:36,821 --> 00:03:39,731 - Ai-yah! - That doesn't make us an expert on food. 103 00:03:39,821 --> 00:03:40,941 Yeah. Yeah, I think it does. 104 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,821 I mean, if there was a table of fat people, 105 00:03:42,901 --> 00:03:44,231 and a table of skinny people, 106 00:03:44,321 --> 00:03:46,271 I'd ask the fat people what they were getting. 107 00:03:46,361 --> 00:03:49,231 'Cause they're a little more expert at eating than the skinny people. 108 00:03:49,321 --> 00:03:50,441 Anyway... 109 00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:53,611 - Return to your meal. - Thank you. 110 00:03:55,441 --> 00:03:58,231 - What? - This is gold. 111 00:04:01,151 --> 00:04:02,337 - Schmo-hawk. - Yeah, schmo-hawk. 112 00:04:02,361 --> 00:04:03,497 - I thought I heard that. - Yeah. 113 00:04:03,521 --> 00:04:05,021 But I wasn't sure I heard it right. 114 00:04:05,111 --> 00:04:06,651 - S-C-H? - S-C-H. 115 00:04:06,731 --> 00:04:07,917 You know, you got the "schmo." 116 00:04:07,941 --> 00:04:10,231 It's a schmo. Yeah. 117 00:04:11,111 --> 00:04:13,151 It's the browsing, right? You can't stand it. 118 00:04:13,231 --> 00:04:14,611 - You hate it. - No browsing. 119 00:04:14,691 --> 00:04:16,361 - No browsing. Yeah. - No browsing. 120 00:04:16,441 --> 00:04:19,521 - You own this stand? - No. I work for the owner. 121 00:04:19,611 --> 00:04:22,111 What do you do if you have to go to the bathroom? 122 00:04:22,191 --> 00:04:23,441 I don't go. 123 00:04:24,321 --> 00:04:25,691 You don't go. 124 00:04:25,771 --> 00:04:27,071 The whole shift, you don't go? 125 00:04:27,151 --> 00:04:29,401 I can't go. I have to watch. 126 00:04:29,481 --> 00:04:30,901 All right. You know what? 127 00:04:30,981 --> 00:04:32,941 Do you have to go to the bathroom now? 128 00:04:34,271 --> 00:04:36,021 - Go. I'll watch it. - You'll watch it? 129 00:04:36,111 --> 00:04:38,231 - I'll watch the stand. Go. - Okay. Put this on. 130 00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:40,087 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Thank you. Thank you so... 131 00:04:40,111 --> 00:04:41,547 Yeah. You're, you're, you're welcome. 132 00:04:41,571 --> 00:04:42,821 I really have to go. 133 00:04:42,901 --> 00:04:44,271 - No browsing, okay? - No browsing. 134 00:04:44,361 --> 00:04:45,997 - You browse, you buy. - You browse, you buy. 135 00:04:46,021 --> 00:04:48,521 - Thank you. - Take your time. Take your time. 136 00:04:48,611 --> 00:04:50,821 Get your papers here. Papers! 137 00:04:50,901 --> 00:04:52,861 Magazines. Newspapers! 138 00:04:53,901 --> 00:04:55,271 Sir. 139 00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:56,731 - Oh. - Sir. 140 00:04:56,821 --> 00:04:59,071 - Sorry, no browsing. - I'm not browsing. 141 00:04:59,151 --> 00:05:02,611 The rule here is, you buy, then browse. 142 00:05:02,691 --> 00:05:04,731 I browse to buy. 143 00:05:04,821 --> 00:05:06,361 I know, but that's... I'm sorry. 144 00:05:06,441 --> 00:05:07,841 That's, that's just not gonna work. 145 00:05:07,901 --> 00:05:09,271 What the fuck? 146 00:05:09,361 --> 00:05:10,861 - Hey! - Hey. 147 00:05:10,941 --> 00:05:12,691 Yeah, sorry. Yeah. 148 00:05:13,151 --> 00:05:15,771 I.D. What the... What are you, nuts? 149 00:05:15,861 --> 00:05:17,521 - No. - Are you having a breakdown? 150 00:05:17,611 --> 00:05:19,167 - Hey, Jon. - Hey, how are you? 151 00:05:19,191 --> 00:05:20,877 - Jon Hamm. - Yeah, it's nice to meet you. Big fan. 152 00:05:20,901 --> 00:05:22,701 What is... What the f... What, are you guys... 153 00:05:22,731 --> 00:05:24,247 - ...escaped from a mental institution? - No. 154 00:05:24,271 --> 00:05:25,837 The guy had to go to the bathroom, so I took over. 155 00:05:25,861 --> 00:05:27,707 - So get this... - What, what are you guys doing? 156 00:05:27,731 --> 00:05:29,441 Jon's starring in a movie. 157 00:05:29,521 --> 00:05:31,481 - Well, what else is new? - And the character... 158 00:05:31,571 --> 00:05:33,111 The character's based on me. 159 00:05:33,191 --> 00:05:34,611 So he's kind of shadowing me. 160 00:05:34,691 --> 00:05:36,771 What's the name of the movie? The Biggest Asshole... 161 00:05:36,861 --> 00:05:38,707 - ...That Ever Roamed the Earth? - Oh, I like that. 162 00:05:38,731 --> 00:05:40,361 Yeah, that's, that's good. 163 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,271 - I'll tell Hobe. - That's good. 164 00:05:42,361 --> 00:05:45,151 You're a great actor, but this could be the end. 165 00:05:45,231 --> 00:05:46,441 So what are you doing? 166 00:05:46,521 --> 00:05:48,191 You know Michelle, the CEO... 167 00:05:48,271 --> 00:05:49,957 - ...I'm dating? - Yeah, I know she's a CEO. 168 00:05:49,981 --> 00:05:52,271 Well, I gotta go furniture shopping with her today. 169 00:05:52,361 --> 00:05:54,071 Furniture shopping? 170 00:05:54,151 --> 00:05:55,377 Yeah, but I gotta really get going. 171 00:05:55,401 --> 00:05:57,271 - Okay. - Why don't we have a meal? 172 00:05:57,361 --> 00:05:58,667 We haven't had dinner in a while. 173 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:00,167 Yeah, let's do it. Let's have dinner. 174 00:06:00,191 --> 00:06:02,571 - Can, uh, Michelle come? - No. 175 00:06:02,651 --> 00:06:04,731 Listen, I... I really want her to come. I... 176 00:06:04,821 --> 00:06:06,271 I really would appreciate it. 177 00:06:06,361 --> 00:06:08,611 See? See what I'm saying with the "appreciate"? 178 00:06:08,691 --> 00:06:10,162 I'm finally starting to get it. I see what you're saying. Yes. 179 00:06:10,186 --> 00:06:11,049 Huh? You see it? 180 00:06:11,073 --> 00:06:12,286 What are you talking about? 181 00:06:12,310 --> 00:06:14,821 I don't succumb to "appreciate." 182 00:06:14,901 --> 00:06:17,151 I'm not gonna bring her. For you, okay? 183 00:06:17,231 --> 00:06:18,707 - Yeah. - To honor our friendship. 184 00:06:18,731 --> 00:06:20,931 - But she's gonna give me shit for it. - So what? 185 00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,691 You're gonna pay down the line for this. 186 00:06:22,771 --> 00:06:24,743 You text me where you want to meet, asshole. 187 00:06:24,768 --> 00:06:25,768 Okay. 188 00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:30,071 Thank you. Thank you so much. 189 00:06:30,151 --> 00:06:31,321 - Oh, sure. - That was quick. 190 00:06:31,401 --> 00:06:33,821 - I feel so much better. - I'm sure you do. 191 00:06:33,901 --> 00:06:35,481 - Get this off me. - Okay. 192 00:06:35,571 --> 00:06:37,901 - What do I owe you? - You owe me nothing. 193 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:40,771 - Nothing. Oh, boy. - No. I insist. 194 00:06:40,861 --> 00:06:43,691 - Yeah. - Thank you. That piss was worth $10, easy. 195 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:46,611 Well, see ya, man. I mean, look what you did. 196 00:06:46,691 --> 00:06:48,441 Yeah. 197 00:06:48,521 --> 00:06:50,441 A $10 piss. 198 00:06:52,271 --> 00:06:55,691 - Mm. Mm. - And he offered me $10 to take a piss. 199 00:06:55,771 --> 00:06:58,111 - Wow. - And I'm thinking... 200 00:06:58,191 --> 00:07:00,271 what a great idea for a business. 201 00:07:00,361 --> 00:07:02,901 You relieve people who have jobs 202 00:07:02,981 --> 00:07:04,861 where they can't use a bathroom. 203 00:07:04,941 --> 00:07:07,481 Toll booth collectors, shoe shine stands, 204 00:07:07,571 --> 00:07:09,071 parking garage attendants. 205 00:07:09,151 --> 00:07:11,651 They contact you on your phone, it's an app, 206 00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:14,481 and then you go down and man the store, 207 00:07:14,571 --> 00:07:15,731 when they go to the bathroom. 208 00:07:15,821 --> 00:07:17,321 Do you know how many times I've peed 209 00:07:17,401 --> 00:07:18,731 in a fuckin' Gatorade bottle 210 00:07:18,821 --> 00:07:20,377 when I couldn't find a fuckin' bathroom? 211 00:07:20,401 --> 00:07:21,901 Plenty of fuckin' times. 212 00:07:21,981 --> 00:07:23,021 Mm-hmm. 213 00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:24,691 And know how many times I forgot 214 00:07:24,771 --> 00:07:26,151 I peed in that Gatorade bottle 215 00:07:26,231 --> 00:07:28,441 and drank that shit? Once. 216 00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:30,441 That's a fuckin' good idea. 217 00:07:30,521 --> 00:07:31,721 Thanks for sharing that story. 218 00:07:31,771 --> 00:07:33,111 This could be the pee Amazon. 219 00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:35,271 - You know? This, this is big. - This could be big. 220 00:07:35,361 --> 00:07:36,547 - This could be very big. - Every fuckin' where. 221 00:07:36,571 --> 00:07:37,931 - Yeah. - Very big. We need a name. 222 00:07:37,981 --> 00:07:39,731 - Poober. - Poober! 223 00:07:39,821 --> 00:07:41,901 - Meh. It's too close to Uber. - Meh. 224 00:07:41,981 --> 00:07:43,571 I got something. 225 00:07:43,651 --> 00:07:44,941 "Gotta Go." 226 00:07:45,021 --> 00:07:47,071 - Like that. That's catchy as hell. - You like that? 227 00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:06,021 - Oh. Hey! - Hey, Becky. 228 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:08,481 Can I talk to you for a minute? 229 00:08:09,321 --> 00:08:11,321 Yeah. Okay. Come on. 230 00:08:11,901 --> 00:08:13,651 Wow. 231 00:08:13,731 --> 00:08:15,651 What, did you have a party in here? 232 00:08:15,731 --> 00:08:18,151 Nope. Nope. Just me. 233 00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,981 Can I make you something to drink? 234 00:08:20,691 --> 00:08:22,191 Uh, no, thanks. 235 00:08:22,271 --> 00:08:23,941 Okay. 236 00:08:24,021 --> 00:08:26,401 You know, you're trying to sell a house. 237 00:08:26,481 --> 00:08:27,861 - It's... - Oh. 238 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,941 It's gonna be hard to sell a house like, like this. 239 00:08:29,981 --> 00:08:31,861 I gotta tidy up a bit, I know. 240 00:08:31,941 --> 00:08:34,321 You know, it's all based on first impressions. 241 00:08:34,401 --> 00:08:36,088 People come over, they're gonna see this... 242 00:08:36,113 --> 00:08:37,002 Yeah. 243 00:08:37,026 --> 00:08:38,237 ...and then no one's gonna buy it. 244 00:08:38,261 --> 00:08:40,021 All right. I'll take care of it, Dad. 245 00:08:40,111 --> 00:08:42,021 - Oh. Yeah. - Hey. 246 00:08:42,111 --> 00:08:44,901 Heard about the whole Cheryl-Ted blowup in Mexico. 247 00:08:44,981 --> 00:08:46,731 - Oh. - Oh, boy. 248 00:08:46,821 --> 00:08:48,981 - Little bit of ash. Sorry. - Yeah, that was... 249 00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:51,111 - That was wild. - Yeah, that made me happy. 250 00:08:51,191 --> 00:08:52,997 - Oh, you... Really? - Little Miss Perfect. Yeah. 251 00:08:53,021 --> 00:08:54,861 It made me feel better about myself. 252 00:08:55,521 --> 00:08:57,571 Boy, you two used to get along so well. 253 00:08:57,651 --> 00:08:59,571 Yeah, well, not anymore. 254 00:08:59,651 --> 00:09:01,901 You sure I can't get you something to drink? 255 00:09:01,981 --> 00:09:03,901 No. What are you drinking in the daytime for? 256 00:09:03,981 --> 00:09:06,321 - Who drinks in the daytime? - People who go to brunch. 257 00:09:06,401 --> 00:09:07,821 Well, we're not at brunch. 258 00:09:07,901 --> 00:09:09,771 Okay. So I am not having a mimosa. 259 00:09:10,321 --> 00:09:11,048 All right. 260 00:09:11,073 --> 00:09:13,255 What, what, what do you... What do you want? 261 00:09:13,321 --> 00:09:14,941 - What, what's going on? - Okay. Well, 262 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,707 obviously, I heard you're selling the house. 263 00:09:16,731 --> 00:09:18,271 Yeah. 264 00:09:18,361 --> 00:09:20,691 You know, the thing is, Becky, 265 00:09:20,771 --> 00:09:23,771 you know, I did buy you the house, so... 266 00:09:23,861 --> 00:09:25,821 - I know. - It's kind of my house. 267 00:09:25,901 --> 00:09:28,691 - No. No, you... - I paid for the house. 268 00:09:28,771 --> 00:09:31,058 And I thought it was only fair and reasonable... 269 00:09:31,083 --> 00:09:31,845 Okay. 270 00:09:31,901 --> 00:09:34,941 I'm gonna let you keep the profits 271 00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:36,361 to, to the house. 272 00:09:36,441 --> 00:09:39,321 But of course, I'll get my investment back. 273 00:09:39,401 --> 00:09:42,401 No, no, no. No. 274 00:09:42,771 --> 00:09:46,571 - Hey. Say I gave you $700,000... - It's my house. 275 00:09:47,861 --> 00:09:50,361 Please don't do this to me, okay? 276 00:09:50,441 --> 00:09:52,361 Please don't do this. This is my house. 277 00:09:52,441 --> 00:09:53,861 It's all I have left. 278 00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:57,731 Oh, my God. Please don't do this to me. 279 00:09:57,821 --> 00:09:59,941 I, I lost my job. 280 00:10:00,021 --> 00:10:01,571 And my boyfriend broke up with me. 281 00:10:01,771 --> 00:10:03,571 - Geez. Don't cry... - He was from Poland, 282 00:10:03,651 --> 00:10:06,821 and it turns out all he wanted was a visa. 283 00:10:06,901 --> 00:10:09,861 Okay, you... 284 00:10:09,941 --> 00:10:12,901 Forget, forget it. You, you, you can keep the house. 285 00:10:12,981 --> 00:10:15,021 You can keep all the money, keep, keep the profits. 286 00:10:15,111 --> 00:10:16,981 Keep, keep it all. 287 00:10:17,071 --> 00:10:20,481 - Is this a joke? - No. No. No. 288 00:10:20,571 --> 00:10:21,821 - You mean it? - Keep it all. 289 00:10:21,901 --> 00:10:24,821 - Thank you, Larry. - Keep it. You can have it. 290 00:10:24,901 --> 00:10:26,981 Yeah. It's okay. 291 00:10:33,861 --> 00:10:35,071 - Really? - Yeah. 292 00:10:35,151 --> 00:10:36,571 - Wow. - I know. 293 00:10:36,651 --> 00:10:38,901 I think I always had a secret little crush on her. 294 00:10:38,981 --> 00:10:40,271 - Me too. - Yeah. 295 00:10:40,361 --> 00:10:42,191 It was in the daytime. 296 00:10:42,271 --> 00:10:43,941 I love daytime sex. 297 00:10:44,021 --> 00:10:45,521 You're filled with energy. 298 00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:47,644 Yes! I mean, nighttime, you're so close to going to bed. 299 00:10:47,668 --> 00:10:48,858 Filled! Right! 300 00:10:48,883 --> 00:10:50,297 Why are you doing that before you go to bed? 301 00:10:50,321 --> 00:10:51,634 The whole thing should be all flipped around. 302 00:10:51,658 --> 00:10:52,529 I know. 303 00:10:52,553 --> 00:10:53,707 - It should never happen at night. - The daytime. 304 00:10:53,731 --> 00:10:54,877 - Always during the day. - Yes. 305 00:10:54,901 --> 00:10:56,361 Ah. It's Jon. 306 00:10:56,441 --> 00:10:58,627 - What's going on? - Nothing. We're just going out to dinner. 307 00:10:58,651 --> 00:11:01,071 - Is that working out okay? - Yeah. Yeah. 308 00:11:01,151 --> 00:11:03,111 Where is he? 309 00:11:05,361 --> 00:11:08,321 Did you have sex with my sister Becky? 310 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:09,981 Who said that? 311 00:11:10,691 --> 00:11:11,691 Becky! 312 00:11:11,731 --> 00:11:12,901 What did she say? 313 00:11:12,981 --> 00:11:15,151 She said, "Guess who I fucked?" 314 00:11:15,231 --> 00:11:17,941 - Huh... - Oh, my God. 315 00:11:18,021 --> 00:11:20,821 - He did. - Oh, my God! 316 00:11:20,901 --> 00:11:22,771 - What, what are you thinking? - I was there, 317 00:11:22,861 --> 00:11:26,441 and she was, she-she was upset, she was sobbing, 318 00:11:26,521 --> 00:11:28,441 and I consoled her, and... 319 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,271 And, you know, it just, it happened. 320 00:11:30,361 --> 00:11:32,087 - That's why. - Yeah, what about the money? 321 00:11:32,111 --> 00:11:33,401 I told her, uh, 322 00:11:33,481 --> 00:11:35,337 she didn't have to, uh, share the money with me. 323 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,611 - Oh, my God. - That's, that's like prostitution. 324 00:11:37,691 --> 00:11:40,151 - It was consensual sex between two adults! - Oh, my God. 325 00:11:40,231 --> 00:11:41,960 There's nothing wrong with that, as far as I know! 326 00:11:41,984 --> 00:11:42,997 She was vulnerable. 327 00:11:43,021 --> 00:11:45,071 We were all in the living room over there 328 00:11:45,151 --> 00:11:46,611 when you gave a big speech, 329 00:11:46,691 --> 00:11:48,321 and you were gonna march over there 330 00:11:48,401 --> 00:11:50,457 - and get your money back for that house. - I did march over there, 331 00:11:50,481 --> 00:11:51,861 and then I felt sorry for her. 332 00:11:51,941 --> 00:11:53,377 - Oh, my... - Yeah, you marched over there, 333 00:11:53,401 --> 00:11:54,691 you got a fuckin' blow job, 334 00:11:54,771 --> 00:11:56,151 and then you gave the house away. 335 00:11:56,231 --> 00:11:58,111 There's a million fuckin' women in the world. 336 00:11:58,191 --> 00:12:01,151 - You have to have sex with Cheryl's sister? - What? 337 00:12:01,231 --> 00:12:02,771 Oh. Hey, Jonny. 338 00:12:02,861 --> 00:12:04,611 Uh, yeah. The door was ajar. 339 00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:05,837 The fuck are you doing in my house? 340 00:12:05,861 --> 00:12:07,321 What is Jon Hamm doing in my house? 341 00:12:07,401 --> 00:12:09,457 - He's, he's, um... - Hold on. Yeah, I should get this down. 342 00:12:09,481 --> 00:12:10,611 He's starring in a movie, 343 00:12:10,691 --> 00:12:12,207 and he's kind of, you know, shadowing me. 344 00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:13,791 He's bas... The character's based on me. 345 00:12:13,861 --> 00:12:16,151 So, the character is a disgusting pervert? 346 00:12:16,231 --> 00:12:17,981 That's good. 347 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,981 It's actually not funny, Jon Hamm. 348 00:12:20,231 --> 00:12:22,047 Oh, no, no. I'm not here. Act like I'm not here. 349 00:12:22,071 --> 00:12:23,877 - I'm just a fly on the wall. Just, uh... - Hey. 350 00:12:23,901 --> 00:12:25,321 - New sneaks? - Oh, yeah. 351 00:12:25,401 --> 00:12:26,997 - Good, right? How comfortable? - Love 'em. 352 00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:27,646 Yeah. 353 00:12:27,671 --> 00:12:29,545 Hey, guys? This is not the time, okay? 354 00:12:29,611 --> 00:12:31,151 It's my house, you're in my house. 355 00:12:31,231 --> 00:12:32,997 - I'm terribly sorry. - You crossed a line... 356 00:12:33,021 --> 00:12:34,521 - ...this time. - You crossed a line! 357 00:12:34,611 --> 00:12:36,127 - Oh, my God. - I didn't cross a line. 358 00:12:36,151 --> 00:12:38,191 I went over the line that you already crossed. 359 00:12:38,271 --> 00:12:39,521 - What? - He's a friend. 360 00:12:39,611 --> 00:12:41,821 Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. Ted and Larry, 361 00:12:41,901 --> 00:12:44,401 it's just like you and your sister. It's the same thing. 362 00:12:44,481 --> 00:12:46,861 - It's nowhere close. - It is not close. 363 00:12:46,941 --> 00:12:49,861 It is close! She slept with my friend, Ted Danson. 364 00:12:49,941 --> 00:12:51,691 - Okay? - Okay. That's fine. 365 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,247 - But I can't sleep with her sister? - It feels like the same thing. 366 00:12:54,271 --> 00:12:57,361 - Because Ted is like a sister to Larry. - Yeah! 367 00:12:57,441 --> 00:12:59,361 No. It's a relationship with Ted. 368 00:12:59,441 --> 00:13:01,377 - It's not, I didn't just go have s... - Oh, it's a relationship? 369 00:13:01,401 --> 00:13:03,167 Who's to say that I'm not gonna have a relationship 370 00:13:03,191 --> 00:13:04,667 - with Becky, what do you mean? - Oh, my God. 371 00:13:04,691 --> 00:13:07,071 You know how jealous Becky is of Cheryl. 372 00:13:07,151 --> 00:13:10,731 You know that Becky thinks of herself as Princess Margaret, 373 00:13:10,821 --> 00:13:12,691 and that Cheryl is Queen Elizabeth. 374 00:13:12,771 --> 00:13:14,262 Yeah. Right. 375 00:13:14,286 --> 00:13:15,634 Yeah. Oh, and you think you're Prince Philip? 376 00:13:15,658 --> 00:13:16,427 Is that what you're saying? 377 00:13:16,451 --> 00:13:17,870 - Yeah. - Oh, my God. 378 00:13:17,950 --> 00:13:20,870 Prince Philip would put a fucking gun to his head 379 00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:23,160 before he had you representing him. 380 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,256 Again, real quick, are we talking about The Crown now? 381 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,820 - Yeah. - How good is that show? 382 00:13:26,910 --> 00:13:29,200 You know what, Jon Hamm, it was nice meeting you. 383 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:30,870 But, really, this is between us. 384 00:13:30,950 --> 00:13:33,660 You know what, I've heard enough. Come on, Jonny. Let's go eat. 385 00:13:33,740 --> 00:13:35,320 - I'll call you. - You've had enough... 386 00:13:35,410 --> 00:13:36,846 - ...you petty piece of shit. - Thank you so much, by the way. 387 00:13:36,870 --> 00:13:38,820 Yeah, it's great. It's great. 388 00:13:38,910 --> 00:13:41,410 - Go, go be him, asshole. - Thank you. 389 00:13:45,570 --> 00:13:47,700 - Aw, man. - What are you doing? 390 00:13:47,780 --> 00:13:50,780 You just plopped that into your, into your water? 391 00:13:50,870 --> 00:13:53,410 Yeah, I plopped it in because I like lime with my water. 392 00:13:53,490 --> 00:13:55,910 I know but they, they don't wash these rinds. 393 00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:57,700 You gotta have some trust in people. 394 00:13:57,780 --> 00:14:00,410 You ever see signs in bathrooms, "Wash before leaving"? 395 00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:02,170 It doesn't matter if their hands are clean. 396 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,796 - They don't have to... - The rind's dirty. 397 00:14:03,820 --> 00:14:06,280 - You get a disease. - Aah, please. 398 00:14:06,370 --> 00:14:07,910 It's bullshit. 399 00:14:07,990 --> 00:14:10,240 And I'm really irked about something, man. 400 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,925 - Did you say "irked"? - Yeah, irked. 401 00:14:12,950 --> 00:14:14,796 I never heard you use that word before, but go ahead. 402 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:17,910 I'm irked because... with all due respect... 403 00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:19,530 Jon is here, and Michelle is... 404 00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:21,176 you wouldn't let Michelle come to dinner. 405 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,070 I have to watch my Ps and Qs. 406 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:24,870 I don't wanna watch Ps and Qs. 407 00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:26,280 Do you wanna watch Ps and Qs? 408 00:14:26,370 --> 00:14:28,160 What are you, Shari Lewis? Where's Lamb Chop? 409 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:29,870 In your pants? 410 00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:33,240 - Look, she's irked. - She's irked. 411 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,740 So you're both irked? 412 00:14:34,820 --> 00:14:38,410 She's so angry at me that I had to, you know, make an excuse. 413 00:14:38,490 --> 00:14:39,780 Oh. What did you say? 414 00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:41,570 I said you had a bleeding rectum, 415 00:14:41,660 --> 00:14:43,320 and that you were worried and scared, 416 00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:45,070 and you needed to talk to me alone, 417 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,410 and you'd be embarrassed if she heard it. 418 00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:50,477 - Are you out of your fucking mind? - Well... 419 00:14:50,502 --> 00:14:51,886 You couldn't think of a better excuse than that? 420 00:14:51,910 --> 00:14:53,796 You should have called me. I got thousands of 'em. 421 00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:56,160 - I can't even face her now. - Why not? 422 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,280 Nobody respects a person with a bleeding rectum. 423 00:14:58,370 --> 00:15:00,450 You think Lincoln could have prosecuted a war 424 00:15:00,530 --> 00:15:02,240 if people knew he had a bleeding rectum? 425 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,176 And by the way, when you come to the dinner party 426 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,780 in a few days, I would not mention it. 427 00:15:05,870 --> 00:15:07,570 Who mentions that at a dinner party? 428 00:15:07,660 --> 00:15:10,120 Do I still have it or-or am I over it? 429 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,200 No, I left it open. 430 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,200 Sorry to hear that. 431 00:15:14,570 --> 00:15:16,200 I also... Can I say, 432 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,820 we ordered this kind of for the table, 433 00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:19,990 and I feel like you've gone way over your 434 00:15:20,070 --> 00:15:21,530 appetizer allotment at this point. 435 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,780 - My allotment? - Well, there's three of us. 436 00:15:23,870 --> 00:15:26,660 - We each get a third. - Who makes up that fuckin' rule? 437 00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:28,370 It's an unwritten rule. 438 00:15:28,450 --> 00:15:29,870 Oh, my God. 439 00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:31,620 There's two Larry Davids. 440 00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:33,490 Holy shit. 441 00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:34,910 Pretty good. 442 00:15:34,990 --> 00:15:37,530 Pretty, pretty good. 443 00:15:40,450 --> 00:15:42,120 Aah. 444 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:50,120 - She threw me out. - She threw you out? 445 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,410 - Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep. - Why? 446 00:15:52,490 --> 00:15:55,910 Well, she doesn't like the way I defended you being with Becky. 447 00:15:55,990 --> 00:15:58,780 - Come on in. Make yourself at home. - I will. 448 00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,030 I, I gotta go. 449 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,596 - Where are you going? - I'm going to Becky's. 450 00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:04,530 Oh. If you keep going to Becky's, 451 00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:06,410 I can't go home. 452 00:16:06,490 --> 00:16:07,870 Keep going to Becky's. 453 00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:09,780 - I'll see you later. - Bedroom's upstairs. 454 00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:11,530 - Second one. - Got it. 455 00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:13,410 Okay. 456 00:16:36,490 --> 00:16:37,570 No. 457 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:47,660 You're welcome. 458 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,700 We did it. We did it! 459 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,080 You didn't expect an airport drop-off, did you? 460 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:07,850 Nope. Nobody expects an airport drop-off anymore. 461 00:17:07,874 --> 00:17:08,714 Ah? Airport drop-off. 462 00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:11,160 - All right, well, have fun skiing. - I will. 463 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,740 I'll text you when I land. 464 00:17:12,820 --> 00:17:14,296 - Eh, not necessary. - I didn't really want to. 465 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:15,886 - Yeah. - It's like an extra, unnecessary step. 466 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:18,370 - I'll find out if you're dead. - Yeah, yeah. You'll know. 467 00:17:18,450 --> 00:17:19,966 - Yeah. - You got big plans for when I'm gone? 468 00:17:19,990 --> 00:17:21,570 I'm gonna help a friend out 469 00:17:21,660 --> 00:17:23,280 with his, uh, with his new business. 470 00:17:23,370 --> 00:17:24,490 - Cool. - Yeah. 471 00:17:24,570 --> 00:17:26,410 - Thank you. - Bye. 472 00:17:27,820 --> 00:17:30,320 He told her you had a bleeding rectum? 473 00:17:30,410 --> 00:17:32,450 Yeah. Now I gotta walk around 474 00:17:32,530 --> 00:17:34,780 knowing this woman thinks I have a bleeding rectum. 475 00:17:34,870 --> 00:17:35,910 I can't live like that. 476 00:17:35,990 --> 00:17:37,450 'Cause once that starts to spread, 477 00:17:37,530 --> 00:17:38,620 she's gonna tell everybody. 478 00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:39,990 And the worst part is, 479 00:17:40,070 --> 00:17:42,006 no one's ever gonna know that the bleeding stopped. 480 00:17:42,030 --> 00:17:44,490 People are thinkin', how does he stop the bleedin'? 481 00:17:44,570 --> 00:17:45,780 Is he wearin' a pad? 482 00:17:45,870 --> 00:17:47,630 Is he, is he a little boy, a little Dutch boy 483 00:17:47,660 --> 00:17:48,820 with his finger in his ass, 484 00:17:48,910 --> 00:17:50,870 with wooden shoes on, with socks to his knee, 485 00:17:50,950 --> 00:17:53,120 little shorts on, little vest, little top hat on, 486 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,950 with his finger in your damn rectum? 487 00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:56,620 Right. Right. 488 00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,620 Hey. There's a parking lot. 489 00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:00,280 - Woo, let's go. - Yeah, let's do it. 490 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:03,780 Get to work, baby. "Gotta Go"! 491 00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:06,320 Can I help you guys? 492 00:18:06,410 --> 00:18:08,660 We got, uh, we got a little business proposition for you. 493 00:18:08,740 --> 00:18:09,820 My name's Larry. 494 00:18:09,910 --> 00:18:11,240 - Hey, Larry. - This is Leon. 495 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:12,990 - I'm Bill. - Here. Here you go, Bill. 496 00:18:13,070 --> 00:18:14,280 - "Gotta Go"? - That's right. 497 00:18:14,370 --> 00:18:16,320 You ever sit in that booth at this time of day 498 00:18:16,410 --> 00:18:18,170 and gotta go to the bathroom, what do you do? 499 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,370 I just stay in the booth. 500 00:18:19,450 --> 00:18:21,200 I can't go anywhere, just gotta hold it in. 501 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,200 Until now. For a dollar a minute, 502 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,070 five dollar minimum, I will sit in that booth 503 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:26,660 while you go and use the bathroom. 504 00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:28,370 - You're serious? - Very serious. 505 00:18:28,450 --> 00:18:30,490 - Right now, I really have to go. - Go! 506 00:18:30,570 --> 00:18:31,660 Go ahead, brother. 507 00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:33,280 - I'll be right back. - My man. 508 00:18:33,370 --> 00:18:34,990 - Thank you. - My man, I got you! 509 00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:36,570 My man, you gotta go! 510 00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:37,870 Ha-ha! 511 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,716 - Look at this shit, Larry. Woo! - Huh? Told ya. 512 00:18:39,740 --> 00:18:42,700 - Did I tell ya? Huh? I told ya! - You fuckin' told me, Larry. 513 00:18:44,950 --> 00:18:47,120 - You order a "Gotta Go"? - Yes, I gotta go. 514 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,700 - Okay. You go. - Thank you. 515 00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:50,660 - Before I gotta go. Get on out of here. - Okay. 516 00:18:51,070 --> 00:18:53,740 - Gino! Go handle your business. - Bye. 517 00:18:57,780 --> 00:18:59,490 Hey. Excuse me. 518 00:18:59,570 --> 00:19:02,200 - You just spat on my shoe. - It's a fuckin' spit shine. 519 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:03,530 It's a... Stop! 520 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:05,070 Stop! Stop spitting on my shoe. 521 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,480 I'm not, I'm not paying for this. 522 00:19:06,530 --> 00:19:08,070 - Okay? - Your tips are appreciated. 523 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,990 Give me a fuckin' break. I'm not giving you a cent. 524 00:19:11,070 --> 00:19:14,160 Fuck it, then. I don't give a fuck. I don't work here. 525 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,410 Woo! 526 00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:18,740 Ha-ha! Woo! 527 00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:25,200 Thank you. 528 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:26,506 - Thank you for having me. - Thank you. 529 00:19:26,530 --> 00:19:28,130 - Yes, indeed. - My pleasure to have you. 530 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,636 - And by the way, your home is lovely. - You're welcome. 531 00:19:29,660 --> 00:19:31,296 I should be complimenting you, too, because... 532 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:32,820 Well, I did pick out, 533 00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,390 I would say, a majority of the stuff. 534 00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:36,370 Well, I can tell. Great taste. 535 00:19:36,450 --> 00:19:38,006 He's sitting down, Richard. 536 00:19:38,030 --> 00:19:39,176 Richard, he's sitting down. I can't... 537 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,780 He's gotta sit somewhere. 538 00:19:40,870 --> 00:19:42,466 - I can't... I don't want... - You know what? 539 00:19:42,490 --> 00:19:44,570 You can't sit on the arm. It's too thin. 540 00:19:44,660 --> 00:19:47,120 - No, I like a thick, cushy arm. - I agree with you. 541 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,240 Excuse me, everyone, but dinner is ready. 542 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,410 - Please follow me into the dining room. - Okay. 543 00:19:52,490 --> 00:19:53,820 This way. 544 00:19:53,910 --> 00:19:56,990 We have assigned seating, so everyone find your name. 545 00:19:57,410 --> 00:19:59,870 - Here we are. - Welcome. Here we are. 546 00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:01,410 Richard, darling, this way. 547 00:20:01,490 --> 00:20:03,216 - Thank you, babe. - Next to me. 548 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:04,570 - Thank you. - Michelle. 549 00:20:04,660 --> 00:20:07,240 Wh-what's with the, uh, wooden chair here? 550 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:08,990 Oh, you know, I'm so sorry. 551 00:20:09,070 --> 00:20:11,120 I-I... This set only comes with seven chairs. 552 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,920 - Seven chairs. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 553 00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:14,620 - How unusual. - I was with her. 554 00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:17,096 - I never heard of that before. - Yeah. You know what? It was odd. 555 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:19,570 It was weird, but I, I loved them, so, I went with it. 556 00:20:19,660 --> 00:20:21,346 - Ah. - Hey, we're having a dinner. 557 00:20:21,370 --> 00:20:23,716 - Come on. Let's enjoy ourselves. - Okay, sure. You're right. 558 00:20:23,740 --> 00:20:25,660 - Let's all enjoy. Let's enjoy. - Yes! 559 00:20:25,740 --> 00:20:27,260 - Let's enjoy. - Let's enjoy. 560 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,096 - That's the spirit. That's the spirit. - There we go. 561 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:30,596 - Yes, let's enjoy. - Bless the new table. 562 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,950 - About time. - Can I, uh, talk to you in the kitchen... 563 00:20:33,030 --> 00:20:34,136 - ...for a second? - Who, me? 564 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,240 - Yeah. - What now? 565 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,030 You got me sitting in that wooden chair? 566 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,320 - It's embarrassing. - It's new furniture. 567 00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:41,780 She's afraid if you sit on it, you're gonna ruin it. 568 00:20:41,870 --> 00:20:43,490 I don't have a bleeding rectum. Okay? 569 00:20:43,570 --> 00:20:44,990 And even if I did, 570 00:20:45,070 --> 00:20:46,620 it's not gonna bleed onto the chair. 571 00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:49,370 How stupid! You could have said a million different things. 572 00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:50,990 A rectum came to my mind first. 573 00:20:51,070 --> 00:20:53,510 You could have at least said I was better, that I was over it. 574 00:20:53,570 --> 00:20:55,160 - I forgot. - All right. 575 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,320 The chair's in the house. 576 00:20:56,410 --> 00:20:58,740 You tell the CEO that I want that chair. 577 00:20:58,820 --> 00:21:00,240 You can't get one. 578 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:01,660 If I don't get a normal chair, 579 00:21:01,740 --> 00:21:04,490 I'm gonna blow this bullshit bleeding rectum story 580 00:21:04,570 --> 00:21:06,410 sky high. Okay? 581 00:21:06,490 --> 00:21:08,070 So get me a normal chair. 582 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:09,700 I'd really appreciate it. 583 00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:11,490 All right, you'll get the chair. 584 00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:12,990 - Okay? - That's great. 585 00:21:13,070 --> 00:21:15,070 Let's get the salads, and... 586 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,620 egg rolls out. We'll wait about 15 minutes for dinner? 587 00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:19,280 Hey, Michelle. Hi, honey. 588 00:21:19,370 --> 00:21:21,820 - Hi. What's going on? - Listen, I spoke to Larry, 589 00:21:21,910 --> 00:21:23,950 and he's really embarrassed, and, uh... 590 00:21:24,030 --> 00:21:25,490 you gotta get him the chair. 591 00:21:25,570 --> 00:21:27,756 - Oh, no. Absolutely not. - You have to get him a regular chair. 592 00:21:27,780 --> 00:21:29,466 No, he's not... he's not sitting in the chair. 593 00:21:29,490 --> 00:21:32,450 - No. - He said he'd really appreciate it. 594 00:21:32,950 --> 00:21:35,620 Really? He said that? He said he would appreciate it? 595 00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:37,700 Yeah, I wouldn't lie to you. 596 00:21:37,780 --> 00:21:39,370 Okay. Okay, fine. Fine, fine. 597 00:21:39,450 --> 00:21:41,450 Let him, let him sit in the chair, but... 598 00:21:41,530 --> 00:21:43,870 if he bleeds in my new chair, 599 00:21:43,950 --> 00:21:45,950 you're in big fuckin' trouble. 600 00:21:48,950 --> 00:21:50,280 - Ooh. - Mm. 601 00:21:50,370 --> 00:21:51,820 Okay. So, Jon. 602 00:21:51,910 --> 00:21:55,160 - You're playing a Larry-type character... - Yes. 603 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,660 ...in this movie. So, uh, 604 00:21:56,740 --> 00:21:58,120 what does the character even do? 605 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,030 - He's a sitcom writer. - Of course. 606 00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:01,926 Uh, but the whole... Very successful. The whole thing is, 607 00:22:01,950 --> 00:22:04,700 it turns out that the thing he's most known for, 608 00:22:04,780 --> 00:22:07,240 his big sitcom that he created, 609 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,700 he stole it from an Australian sitcom. 610 00:22:09,780 --> 00:22:11,346 - What? - The guy's a total fraud. 611 00:22:11,370 --> 00:22:12,450 He stole the idea. 612 00:22:12,530 --> 00:22:13,530 - He stole... - What? 613 00:22:13,620 --> 00:22:14,910 What do you mean? Stole it? 614 00:22:14,990 --> 00:22:15,990 I didn't steal anything. 615 00:22:16,070 --> 00:22:17,240 No, in the movie, not you. 616 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,000 - It sort of implies that... - Yeah! 617 00:22:19,030 --> 00:22:20,546 - ...their show is stolen. - Yes! 618 00:22:20,570 --> 00:22:22,240 The character's name is Lawrence Dean. 619 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:23,966 - Lawrence Dean? What? - It isn't the same as Larry David. 620 00:22:23,990 --> 00:22:27,370 Hey, hey, hey. Guess what I found? I found a chair! 621 00:22:27,450 --> 00:22:28,740 Oh! 622 00:22:28,820 --> 00:22:30,450 Yes! Hey! 623 00:22:30,530 --> 00:22:33,120 - What a miracle. - It was in the garage. 624 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,466 How come you didn't tell me? 625 00:22:34,490 --> 00:22:35,886 Richard: I didn't know it was a chair. 626 00:22:35,910 --> 00:22:37,110 - It was all wrapped up. - Ooh. 627 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:38,410 It was wrapped up in plastic. 628 00:22:38,490 --> 00:22:40,570 I thought it was, uh, my dead grandmother's ghost. 629 00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:43,260 - I didn't know what the fuck it was. - How could you not tell me? 630 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,200 - What a lucky thing. - Yeah. 631 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,660 Because they didn't know, and they just found it 632 00:22:47,740 --> 00:22:50,070 - in the garage. - It all worked out. Look at that! 633 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,410 - They're very comfortable, very pretty. - Yeah. 634 00:22:52,490 --> 00:22:54,870 It's very bouncy. It's, it's kind of bouncy. 635 00:22:54,950 --> 00:22:56,136 Yeah. I love this chair. 636 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,450 Now we can eat. 637 00:22:57,530 --> 00:22:59,570 - Want more of these? - Ah. Love Chinese. 638 00:22:59,660 --> 00:23:01,490 Thank you. 639 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:06,160 You guys, do you pick up the rice bowl and eat it like this? 640 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,870 Or do you start on the table, 641 00:23:08,950 --> 00:23:11,070 and then pick it up, pick the rice up? 642 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:12,620 You pick up the bowl first. 643 00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:14,136 Oh, you pick it right... eat it right out of the bowl. 644 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,386 Yeah, eat right out of the bowl. 645 00:23:15,410 --> 00:23:17,240 It's just like eating it over the garbage can. 646 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,120 - Huh? - Yeah, yeah. In a way. 647 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:20,780 Oh, Michelle. 648 00:23:20,870 --> 00:23:23,740 - The walnut shrimp is scrumptious. - Mm. 649 00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:24,990 Scrumptious? 650 00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:27,120 - You think so? - It's really good. 651 00:23:27,780 --> 00:23:30,160 - What are we waiting for? - I mean, come on. Come on. 652 00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,716 - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - What are you doing? 653 00:23:32,740 --> 00:23:34,209 What are you doing? I want the walnut shrimp? 654 00:23:34,233 --> 00:23:34,966 What are you doing? 655 00:23:34,990 --> 00:23:38,160 I'm turning the Lazy Susan the way it should be turned. 656 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,030 - In order. - No, no, no, no, no. 657 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:42,780 A Lazy Susan is like a roundabout, okay? 658 00:23:42,870 --> 00:23:45,030 I'm sorry, I don't think you're right. 659 00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:45,644 Okay, can I... 660 00:23:45,668 --> 00:23:46,886 I don't think you know how a roundabout works. 661 00:23:46,910 --> 00:23:48,546 It's first come, first serve. That's a roundabout. 662 00:23:48,570 --> 00:23:50,990 - I do know how a roundabout works. - I don't think you do. 663 00:23:51,070 --> 00:23:53,280 - It works like a Lazy Susan. - No! 664 00:23:53,370 --> 00:23:55,136 - The cars... - That's now how a lazy Susan works. 665 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:56,756 - Can I ask you a favor, please? - It's how a lazy Susan... 666 00:23:56,780 --> 00:23:58,450 Can I ask you both a favor? 667 00:23:58,530 --> 00:24:01,370 Can you please not use that term "Lazy Susan"? 668 00:24:01,450 --> 00:24:04,160 It's got racist and sexist connotations, 669 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,620 and I'd really prefer 670 00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:07,990 - you just not call it that. - Whoa. 671 00:24:08,070 --> 00:24:09,370 - Lazy Susan? - Yes. 672 00:24:09,450 --> 00:24:11,030 Who's that racist towards? Susans? 673 00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:13,136 - That's crazy. Where'd you get that? - Okay. 674 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,120 I would just like you to not use the term. 675 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,920 You're right. You know what? It should be... 676 00:24:16,990 --> 00:24:19,006 We should definitely start using the Ambitious Susan. 677 00:24:19,030 --> 00:24:21,320 Yes, yes. Please spin the Indefatigable Susan. 678 00:24:21,410 --> 00:24:25,070 Oh, can we have the Multifaceted Susan my way, please? 679 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,030 Yeah, spin the Industrious Susan. 680 00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:29,200 Ooh, can you spin Ambidextrous Susan, please. 681 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:30,756 - Oh, the Ambidextrous Susan. - Yes, both ways. 682 00:24:30,780 --> 00:24:32,490 - Both ways. - So funny. You want it? 683 00:24:32,570 --> 00:24:35,570 - You want it? You want your stuff? - Whoa! 684 00:24:37,620 --> 00:24:39,410 Whoa! 685 00:24:45,490 --> 00:24:47,160 Oh, man. 686 00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:50,530 - Oh, boy. - What did you do? 687 00:24:50,620 --> 00:24:52,426 - What? I, I didn't... - What did you do? 688 00:24:52,450 --> 00:24:55,200 - She spun the thing around like that. - The thing, it was too fast. 689 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:58,530 You wouldn't shut up! 690 00:24:58,620 --> 00:25:01,070 I don't give a shit! I want you out! 691 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,990 - You're kicking me out? - Yeah. And you, 692 00:25:04,070 --> 00:25:05,910 Larry David Junior, you can go, too. 693 00:25:05,990 --> 00:25:07,740 - You're kicking me out. - Yes, Jon Hamm. 694 00:25:07,820 --> 00:25:09,666 Hey, you're getting kicked out. Look at that, beautiful. 695 00:25:09,690 --> 00:25:10,466 What's up, huh? Hey. 696 00:25:10,490 --> 00:25:12,280 Out! 697 00:25:12,700 --> 00:25:14,990 - All right. - All right. 698 00:25:15,070 --> 00:25:17,240 - Okay. - We should, uh... 699 00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:18,990 - Eh. - Eh. 700 00:25:27,490 --> 00:25:28,820 Hey. 701 00:25:28,910 --> 00:25:31,070 Larry. Oh, thank God you answered. 702 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,320 I just got in a huge accident on Mount... 703 00:25:33,410 --> 00:25:34,780 Wha? 704 00:25:34,870 --> 00:25:36,910 It was a ski school of children. 705 00:25:36,950 --> 00:25:39,120 They just flew right in front of me. Ow! 706 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,820 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 707 00:25:41,910 --> 00:25:43,320 They're taking me to a hospital, 708 00:25:43,410 --> 00:25:45,006 and I don't... I just don't know where it is or... 709 00:25:45,030 --> 00:25:47,256 - I don't know this town. - Okay, don't worry about a thing. 710 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:48,756 I'll be on the next flight to Denver. 711 00:25:48,780 --> 00:25:50,620 - You would do that for me? - Of course. 712 00:25:50,700 --> 00:25:53,450 Oh, my God, Larry. You really are a prince. 713 00:25:53,530 --> 00:25:55,620 Don't worry. I'm calling my travel agent right now. 714 00:25:55,700 --> 00:25:58,370 Thank you so, so much. Ow! 715 00:25:58,450 --> 00:26:00,160 Westside Travel and Tour. 716 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:01,215 Eliza speaking. 717 00:26:01,239 --> 00:26:03,006 Oh, hi. It's Larry David. I have an emergency. 718 00:26:03,030 --> 00:26:05,120 I need to get on the next flight to Denver, please. 719 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,280 I've got one leaving in an hour and 40 minutes. 720 00:26:07,370 --> 00:26:09,240 Perfect. Fantastic. Book it. 721 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,346 Oh, you're lucky. There's only one seat left. 722 00:26:11,370 --> 00:26:13,570 19E. 723 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:16,620 19E. 724 00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:19,740 It's a coach seat. Oh, it's a middle seat. 725 00:26:21,570 --> 00:26:23,280 Shall I book it? 726 00:26:23,370 --> 00:26:25,370 Any other flights going to Denver? 727 00:26:25,450 --> 00:26:27,410 We've got a two, a four, 728 00:26:27,490 --> 00:26:28,820 and a six. 729 00:26:28,910 --> 00:26:32,990 Anything in rows... one through four? 730 00:26:33,070 --> 00:26:35,530 The only thing left is coach. 731 00:26:36,660 --> 00:26:37,780 Okay. 732 00:26:38,910 --> 00:26:40,990 Give me the next first-class flight to Denver. 733 00:26:41,070 --> 00:26:43,490 It's not until 9:00 p.m. 734 00:26:43,570 --> 00:26:45,740 9:00 p.m. Perfect. I'll take it. Book it. 735 00:26:45,820 --> 00:26:47,200 Very well. 736 00:26:55,780 --> 00:26:56,620 Hey. 737 00:26:56,700 --> 00:26:57,530 Hey, Larry. 738 00:26:57,620 --> 00:26:58,780 I got a "Gotta Go" emergency. 739 00:26:58,870 --> 00:27:00,450 I'm at the shoe shine shop, right? 740 00:27:00,530 --> 00:27:02,240 And the guy must have food poisoning. 741 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,000 He's stuck on the fuckin' toilet right now. 742 00:27:04,070 --> 00:27:05,370 So? What do you want me to do? 743 00:27:05,450 --> 00:27:07,006 I need you to cover for me at the news stand. 744 00:27:07,030 --> 00:27:08,830 The guy relies on me for his six o'clock piss. 745 00:27:08,870 --> 00:27:11,620 - I'll call you back. - Okay. Okay. 746 00:27:11,700 --> 00:27:13,620 - Hey. - Yeah. 747 00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:16,030 I need you to do me a favor. Actually, do Leon a favor. 748 00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:18,280 He needs somebody to fill in for him at the news stand. 749 00:27:18,370 --> 00:27:20,030 - For the "Gotta Go" app? - Yeah. 750 00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:21,120 I can't do it. 751 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:22,740 No, no. You gotta do it. I can't do it, 752 00:27:22,820 --> 00:27:24,096 because I have to fly to Denver. 753 00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,530 - I already got my sweats on. - So what? 754 00:27:26,620 --> 00:27:28,060 Yeah, well, once I got my sweats on, 755 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:30,370 there's no going back. I got my sweats on. 756 00:27:30,450 --> 00:27:32,280 What is it, an immutable law of physics? 757 00:27:32,370 --> 00:27:33,756 Once you're in sweats, you can't get out? 758 00:27:33,780 --> 00:27:34,780 Newton's Law of Sweats? 759 00:27:34,820 --> 00:27:37,990 It's Jeff Greene's Law of Day Over. 760 00:27:38,070 --> 00:27:39,910 Listen, I'd really appreciate it. 761 00:27:39,990 --> 00:27:42,530 I'm in my sweats! 762 00:27:42,620 --> 00:27:44,620 - Hello? - Larry, what the fuck you doin', man? 763 00:27:44,700 --> 00:27:46,346 - Goddamn! - All right, okay! 764 00:27:46,370 --> 00:27:48,410 Shut the fuck up! I'll come! 765 00:27:48,490 --> 00:27:50,280 Thank you. Thank you, by the way. 766 00:27:50,370 --> 00:27:53,160 - Wow. - God bless you. 767 00:27:58,240 --> 00:27:59,280 Hey. 768 00:27:59,370 --> 00:28:01,160 - Hey. I'm from "Gotta Go." - Larry? 769 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,240 - Yeah. Yeah. - Oh. 770 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,070 - I really gotta go. - Okay. Okay. Hurry up. 771 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:07,410 - Okay. I'll be quick. - Okay. 772 00:28:07,490 --> 00:28:09,030 - Okay. Thank you. - Yeah. Hurry up. 773 00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:10,450 Okay. 774 00:28:13,370 --> 00:28:14,700 Fuck. 775 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,410 Oh, my God. 776 00:28:18,490 --> 00:28:20,120 Hello? 777 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:21,966 The news stand guy left 15 minutes ago. 778 00:28:21,990 --> 00:28:22,870 Hasn't come back. 779 00:28:22,950 --> 00:28:24,740 I gotta catch a plane to Denver. 780 00:28:24,820 --> 00:28:26,280 Hey, no browsing. 781 00:28:26,370 --> 00:28:27,950 Hey, do you carry Vegan Living? 782 00:28:28,030 --> 00:28:29,910 Who gives a shit? Get the hell out of here. 783 00:28:29,990 --> 00:28:31,280 You gotta come and relieve me. 784 00:28:31,370 --> 00:28:33,160 I can't, Larry. I'm at the shoe shine stand. 785 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:34,870 This guy's taking a $40 shit. 786 00:28:34,950 --> 00:28:37,231 Aw! All right, I'll get somebody else. 787 00:28:39,990 --> 00:28:41,950 Thanks very much. Hey. 788 00:28:42,030 --> 00:28:43,030 Hey! 789 00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:44,870 - I got your back. - Oh, my God. 790 00:28:44,950 --> 00:28:46,830 - You are a lifesaver. - No worries, no worries. 791 00:28:46,870 --> 00:28:49,280 - Thank you so much. - Not at all. 792 00:28:49,370 --> 00:28:50,620 Jonny. 793 00:28:50,700 --> 00:28:52,320 Really appreciate this. 794 00:28:52,410 --> 00:28:54,070 Hey, no prob... 795 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:55,950 - Ah? - Ah? 796 00:28:56,030 --> 00:28:57,740 I get it. 797 00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:04,200 Oh, my God. 798 00:29:06,740 --> 00:29:08,120 Excuse me, I'm so sorry. 799 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:09,740 I got seven minutes to catch the plane. 800 00:29:09,820 --> 00:29:11,530 It sounds like a lie, but it's not. 801 00:29:11,620 --> 00:29:12,870 I'm not a cutter by nature. 802 00:29:12,950 --> 00:29:15,160 Um, my, my girlfriend got in a skiing accident. 803 00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:16,910 You know, she's my ex-wife's sister. 804 00:29:16,990 --> 00:29:18,820 We don't have to get into that, but, 805 00:29:18,910 --> 00:29:20,410 nevertheless, thank you so much. 806 00:29:20,490 --> 00:29:22,530 - I really appreciate it. - Next. 807 00:29:22,620 --> 00:29:23,910 Are you together? 808 00:29:25,950 --> 00:29:27,200 No. 809 00:29:27,740 --> 00:29:29,120 No. 810 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,740 Why would you think we were together? 811 00:29:31,820 --> 00:29:33,030 No reason. 812 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:35,120 - No, no reason at all? - No reason? 813 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:36,700 I just assumed you were a couple... 814 00:29:36,780 --> 00:29:38,216 - You assumed? - You assumed... 815 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,160 - Oh, really? - You assumed we're a couple. We... 816 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:41,886 I mean, I've never... I mean, nice to meet you. 817 00:29:41,910 --> 00:29:44,320 - Nice to meet you, too. - Yeah, see, look, we just met. 818 00:29:44,410 --> 00:29:45,780 Honest mistake. 819 00:29:45,870 --> 00:29:47,870 But why did you make the mistake? 820 00:29:47,950 --> 00:29:49,141 That's what I'm wondering. 821 00:29:49,166 --> 00:29:51,684 Any two people standing together could be a couple. 822 00:29:51,740 --> 00:29:53,240 Two men, two women. 823 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:55,530 If I saw a man wearing a yarmulke, 824 00:29:55,620 --> 00:29:57,740 standing next to a woman wearing a kerchief 825 00:29:57,820 --> 00:29:59,570 and carrying a mahjong set, 826 00:29:59,660 --> 00:30:00,980 I would think they were a couple. 827 00:30:01,030 --> 00:30:03,280 - What? - It's just a natural assumption. 828 00:30:03,370 --> 00:30:05,200 Anyway, I'd love to continue our discussion. 829 00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:07,386 It's been very interesting. I have to catch a flight to Denver. 830 00:30:07,410 --> 00:30:09,107 Eh, there's a lot of black people in Denver. 831 00:30:09,131 --> 00:30:10,224 Yeah. Tell 'em we said hi. 832 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:11,660 Hello, sir. Boarding pass? 833 00:30:13,450 --> 00:30:15,820 You've been randomly selected for a security search, sir. 834 00:30:15,910 --> 00:30:18,530 What? What? Secure... What are you talking about? 835 00:30:18,620 --> 00:30:20,756 - Can someone get my spot? Thank you. - Oh, please. 836 00:30:20,780 --> 00:30:23,240 Are you kidding me? Oh, they couldn't be a couple. 837 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:24,320 Oh, it's crazy. 838 00:30:24,410 --> 00:30:25,636 It has nothing to do with that, sir. 839 00:30:25,660 --> 00:30:28,400 - Oh, it has nothing to do with that? - No. 840 00:30:28,425 --> 00:30:29,926 Come on, I'm gonna miss my flight to Denver. 841 00:30:29,950 --> 00:30:32,030 - Enjoy that search. Yeah. - Enjoy it. 842 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:33,320 Honestly, if you're looking... 843 00:30:33,370 --> 00:30:34,796 I wouldn't look in the food and wine section. 844 00:30:34,820 --> 00:30:36,910 I would look... Los Angeles magazine. 845 00:30:36,990 --> 00:30:37,910 Right down there. 846 00:30:37,990 --> 00:30:39,370 You don't find what you need, 847 00:30:39,450 --> 00:30:41,210 - look online. Everything's online. - Thanks. 848 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:42,990 Excuse me, ma'am. No browsing. 849 00:30:43,070 --> 00:30:45,240 No, I'm just looking for an article that Jay Inslee... 850 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:46,450 Oh. 851 00:30:46,530 --> 00:30:48,240 - Oh, hi. - Cheryl. 852 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:49,570 - Jon. - That's me. 853 00:30:49,660 --> 00:30:50,700 - Hamm. Hi. - Yes. 854 00:30:50,780 --> 00:30:51,870 What are you doing here? 855 00:30:51,950 --> 00:30:53,546 I'm just watching the news stand for Larry. 856 00:30:53,570 --> 00:30:55,730 He had to... He had to jump out and run to the airport. 857 00:30:55,780 --> 00:30:58,950 I'm sorry. Does Larry own a news stand now? 858 00:30:59,030 --> 00:31:00,570 Great question. 859 00:31:00,660 --> 00:31:02,490 - I don't have an answer. - Okay. 860 00:31:02,570 --> 00:31:05,450 - So you are Larry's ex-wife. Wow. - Yeah. I know. 861 00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:08,200 - I find that fascinating. - Do you? 862 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,780 Oh, my gosh. Spending the last few days with him? 863 00:31:10,870 --> 00:31:13,620 - I gotta know everything. - It's a lot. 864 00:31:13,700 --> 00:31:15,950 Well, do you wanna just go get some coffee? 865 00:31:16,030 --> 00:31:18,120 Sit down and talk? 866 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,410 - Now? - Well, yeah. Why not? 867 00:31:20,490 --> 00:31:22,370 - Okay. Uh... - Let's go. 868 00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:25,120 I mean, do you really wanna hear... 869 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,280 Are you kidding me? I wanna hear everything. 870 00:31:27,370 --> 00:31:29,620 You might be bored. Ah, 17 years... 871 00:31:29,700 --> 00:31:31,200 Wow. 872 00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:41,410 Do you recognize that signature? 873 00:31:41,490 --> 00:31:42,966 He killed the motherfucker 'cause the waffles 874 00:31:42,990 --> 00:31:44,160 had expired and shit. 875 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:46,870 Gonna sit in that room and get interrogated... 876 00:31:46,950 --> 00:31:48,990 Hey. Okay? You happy? You happy? 877 00:31:49,070 --> 00:31:50,790 - I hope you're happy. - What the fuck, man? 878 00:31:50,870 --> 00:31:52,700 - I missed my flight to Denver. - Sorry. 879 00:31:52,780 --> 00:31:54,796 Oh, because you wouldn't get out of your sweat pants. 880 00:31:54,820 --> 00:31:56,570 Suppose there was an emergency? Then what? 881 00:31:56,660 --> 00:31:57,796 You take the sweat pants off? 882 00:31:57,820 --> 00:31:59,120 Well, what kind of an emergency? 883 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,620 Suppose, uh, your friend was in a car accident. 884 00:32:01,700 --> 00:32:04,490 - Which friend? - Me. I got hit by a car. 885 00:32:04,570 --> 00:32:05,990 How did you get hit by a car? 886 00:32:06,070 --> 00:32:07,570 I, I got a piece of pizza, and, 887 00:32:07,660 --> 00:32:09,070 and I was crossing the street, 888 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:10,490 and the, the cheese fell off, 889 00:32:10,570 --> 00:32:12,046 and I bent down to pick up the cheese, 890 00:32:12,070 --> 00:32:13,370 and I got hit by a car. 891 00:32:13,450 --> 00:32:15,676 Who the hell picks up cheese in the middle of the street? 892 00:32:15,700 --> 00:32:17,346 I don't want to litter so I picked up the cheese 893 00:32:17,370 --> 00:32:18,820 and I put it in the garbage can. 894 00:32:18,910 --> 00:32:21,160 No. You were gonna pick up the cheese, 895 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:22,740 and put it on your pizza and eat it. 896 00:32:22,820 --> 00:32:24,926 Bullshit. I was not. I was gonna throw it in the garbage. 897 00:32:24,950 --> 00:32:26,160 - You don't know. - I know. 898 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:27,506 - What do you know? No, you don't! - I know. 899 00:32:27,530 --> 00:32:29,160 And you, fuckstick, don't ever ask me 900 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,386 to man any post for you again, 'cause I'm not doin' it! 901 00:32:31,410 --> 00:32:33,530 Just consider me in sweatpants all the time. 902 00:32:33,620 --> 00:32:35,950 Fuck that job. I quit that shit already. 903 00:32:36,030 --> 00:32:39,030 - Wow. That was fast. - Fuck, yeah. I'm in and out. 904 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:40,950 All right, I gotta go text Becky now 905 00:32:41,030 --> 00:32:42,796 and tell her I missed my flight 'cause of you two assholes, 906 00:32:42,820 --> 00:32:44,256 and tell her I'll be on the first flight out to Denver 907 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:45,796 tomorrow morning. Actually, second flight. 908 00:32:45,820 --> 00:32:47,240 Why second flight? 909 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:48,870 First class. 910 00:32:48,950 --> 00:32:50,450 Yeah. 911 00:32:51,070 --> 00:32:54,030 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 912 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:56,370 Oh, my God. What? 913 00:32:56,450 --> 00:32:58,280 Oh, my... Larry! 914 00:32:58,370 --> 00:32:59,780 Larry! 915 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:02,870 Larry! 916 00:33:02,950 --> 00:33:04,570 Oh, look. 917 00:33:04,660 --> 00:33:05,700 Latte Larry's. 918 00:33:05,780 --> 00:33:07,200 - Yeah. Yeah. - Spite store. 919 00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:08,386 - I heard about this. - Yeah. 920 00:33:08,410 --> 00:33:09,990 - This must be, uh... - Mocha Joe's. 921 00:33:10,070 --> 00:33:11,070 There we go. 922 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:12,256 Okay, don't tell Larry we did this. 923 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,160 You got it. 924 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:17,280 I've never been in this shop. I just... 925 00:33:17,370 --> 00:33:19,910 It's kind of a wobbly table, you know? 926 00:33:19,990 --> 00:33:21,740 It's like my least favorite thing. 927 00:33:21,820 --> 00:33:23,136 - It's all right. - Here we go. 928 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,006 - Two cups of coffee. - Hey. Thank you very much. 929 00:33:25,030 --> 00:33:27,296 Thank you so much for coming in, Mr. Hamm. How's that scone? 930 00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:28,950 Uh, not so much a scone. 931 00:33:29,410 --> 00:33:31,950 - No, it's a scone. - Nah, this is like a muffin. 932 00:33:32,030 --> 00:33:34,410 I mean, I'm just saying, like, there's kind of a specific 933 00:33:34,490 --> 00:33:36,596 quality that a scone has that's sort of dry and crumbly. 934 00:33:36,620 --> 00:33:39,030 This is sweet. It's a little more like a muffin than a scone. 935 00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:40,990 What you are describing is a stale scone. 936 00:33:41,070 --> 00:33:43,910 - That's a, that's fresh one. - I'm not sure you know what a... 937 00:33:43,990 --> 00:33:45,240 definition of a scone is. 938 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,280 It looks good. I think, um... 939 00:33:47,370 --> 00:33:48,400 I'm just saying, I'm saying it's a muffin. 940 00:33:48,424 --> 00:33:50,386 - Let's not worry about it. - You want me to take it away? 941 00:33:50,410 --> 00:33:51,620 No, I'm gonna keep the muffin. 942 00:33:51,700 --> 00:33:53,136 - Thank you very much. - You enjoy the scone. 943 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:54,796 - Yeah, I'll enjoy the muffin. - I'm good. 944 00:33:54,820 --> 00:33:56,926 - Thank you, that's great. Thank you. - Okay. Awesome. 945 00:33:56,950 --> 00:33:58,320 It doesn't matter. 946 00:33:58,410 --> 00:34:00,570 - Yeah. I'm just having a good time. - Hmm? Doesn't it? 947 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:02,870 Um... 948 00:34:02,950 --> 00:34:05,030 Oh! So when I first met Mocha Joe... 949 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,280 Ugh. Oh, hold on. 950 00:34:07,370 --> 00:34:09,070 - No. No. No. - What's wrong? 951 00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:10,160 Mocha Joe! 952 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,370 - Mocha Joe! - Yeah. 953 00:34:13,990 --> 00:34:16,450 This coffee's... it's not hot. 954 00:34:16,530 --> 00:34:18,950 - It's plenty hot. - No, it's, it's plenty not. 955 00:34:19,030 --> 00:34:21,820 - It's, it's, it is, it is at best luke. - It's hot. 956 00:34:21,910 --> 00:34:23,756 - Oh, God. - I don't know what to tell you. 957 00:34:23,780 --> 00:34:25,346 This is not, this is not a hot cup of coffee. 958 00:34:25,370 --> 00:34:26,966 - It's a hot cup of coffee. - Coffee should be served hot. 959 00:34:26,990 --> 00:34:28,006 - This is not hot. - It's hot. 960 00:34:28,030 --> 00:34:29,450 I beg to differ. This is not hot. 961 00:34:29,530 --> 00:34:31,136 And I tell you what. Here's how I'll prove it to you. 962 00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:32,346 - No, no, no, I don't know... - Would I be able to do this? 963 00:34:32,370 --> 00:34:33,950 Would I be able to do this 964 00:34:34,030 --> 00:34:35,740 if this was a hot cup of coffee? 965 00:34:36,370 --> 00:34:38,240 - Oh. Oh. - Okay. 966 00:34:39,030 --> 00:34:41,176 - Doesn't even hurt. Doesn't even hurt. - I can't do this. 967 00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:42,466 - This coffee's not hot. - Jon Hamm... 968 00:34:42,490 --> 00:34:44,200 - ...you have turned into Larry. - What... 969 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,280 - I'm done. I can't do this. - Cheryl... 970 00:34:46,370 --> 00:34:47,280 God. 971 00:34:47,370 --> 00:34:48,910 - Cheryl! - No. 972 00:34:48,990 --> 00:34:50,740 - Come on. - Nope. 973 00:34:51,700 --> 00:34:54,120 See, now look. The table. Look at this. All over the place. 974 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:55,716 - All right, you know what, Jon Hamm? - All over the place. 975 00:34:55,740 --> 00:34:57,200 - Unbelievable. - Get out. 976 00:34:57,570 --> 00:34:58,910 Happy to. 977 00:35:00,950 --> 00:35:02,780 And you're banned, Jon Hamm! 978 00:35:02,870 --> 00:35:04,870 I don't care! 979 00:35:10,910 --> 00:35:12,160 Hey! 980 00:35:12,240 --> 00:35:14,320 I'm here! 981 00:35:14,410 --> 00:35:17,120 Look. Look! Flowers, balloons. 982 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,870 Larry David. What could be better? 983 00:35:19,950 --> 00:35:22,636 - Take a smell of that. Yeah? Pretty good. - Yep. Smells like flowers. 984 00:35:22,660 --> 00:35:24,620 - Right? Where do you want 'em? Here? - Yeah. 985 00:35:24,700 --> 00:35:27,240 Ugh. I came as soon as I could. 986 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:28,530 Did you? 987 00:35:28,620 --> 00:35:29,700 Yes, I did. 988 00:35:29,780 --> 00:35:32,450 'Cause it's, uh, been a little over 24 hours 989 00:35:32,530 --> 00:35:34,200 since I called you and you were gonna 990 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,990 hop on the next flight. So I just, I've been a little confused. 991 00:35:37,070 --> 00:35:39,410 Big issue with the TSA last night. 992 00:35:39,490 --> 00:35:42,256 - Ugh. I'm not even gonna bore you with it. - Why would book a night flight? 993 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,370 I called you at 10:00 o'clock yesterday morning. 994 00:35:44,450 --> 00:35:47,200 Um, you know, the... I couldn't get a seat. There were no seats. 995 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:50,070 There were no seats on any of the planes? 996 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,490 There were... 997 00:35:52,570 --> 00:35:54,200 no seats... 998 00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:55,450 for me? 999 00:35:55,530 --> 00:35:59,280 Are you talking about first class seats? 1000 00:35:59,370 --> 00:36:02,280 Uh... 1001 00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:05,870 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah? 1002 00:36:05,950 --> 00:36:07,240 I broke my leg! 1003 00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:08,700 - I called you scared. - Yeah. 1004 00:36:08,780 --> 00:36:09,870 - And hurt. - Yeah. I know. 1005 00:36:09,950 --> 00:36:12,410 I'm not worth two hours in a coach seat? 1006 00:36:12,490 --> 00:36:14,740 - You know. All right, I'm gonna be... - What? 1007 00:36:14,820 --> 00:36:17,046 - I'll just be straight with you, okay? - Yeah. That'd be great. 1008 00:36:17,070 --> 00:36:19,280 - I've been honest with you up until now. - Yes. 1009 00:36:19,370 --> 00:36:21,820 - So I'm gonna be honest with you again. - Go for it. 1010 00:36:23,370 --> 00:36:25,660 I have a bleeding rectum. 1011 00:36:26,950 --> 00:36:28,490 They're okay with you bleeding 1012 00:36:28,570 --> 00:36:30,320 out of your rectum in first class? 1013 00:36:30,410 --> 00:36:33,570 It's a more comfortable place to bleed. 1014 00:36:33,660 --> 00:36:36,030 I think it's probably best that you go. 1015 00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:37,990 - What? - Yeah. Leave the flowers, 1016 00:36:38,070 --> 00:36:40,320 but take the ugly balloon, and just go. 1017 00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:42,490 Okay. 1018 00:36:44,620 --> 00:36:47,660 - Hey. You gonna eat that Jell-O? - I'm not gonna eat the Jell-O. 1019 00:36:48,570 --> 00:36:49,820 Hmm. 1020 00:36:50,728 --> 00:36:56,551 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 1021 00:38:04,990 --> 00:38:07,280 Ah! Mr. Takahashi! How you hitting 'em, Mr. T? 1022 00:38:07,530 --> 00:38:09,410 - Not your concern. - Ah. 1023 00:38:11,950 --> 00:38:14,410 The color of a car doesn't really matter to me, 1024 00:38:14,490 --> 00:38:17,280 because I don't really see it when I'm inside the car. 1025 00:38:17,370 --> 00:38:18,700 It's like being inside your face. 1026 00:38:18,780 --> 00:38:19,926 I don't know what my face looks like. 1027 00:38:19,950 --> 00:38:21,870 - Who forgets their face? - I'm in a capsule. 1028 00:38:21,950 --> 00:38:23,780 Everything's coming from inside the capsule. 1029 00:38:24,070 --> 00:38:26,200 I haven't seen you take one piece of red licorice yet. 1030 00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:27,280 Only black for you? 1031 00:38:27,620 --> 00:38:30,030 Something wrong with a person supporting black and shit? 1032 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,410 Black licorice, black jellybeans... 1033 00:38:32,490 --> 00:38:34,530 - You feel me? - No, I feel you.