1
00:00:20,344 --> 00:00:22,965
Come! Come-come-come
come-come! Food!

2
00:00:25,689 --> 00:00:29,689
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville,
welcome to Jackass.

3
00:00:29,758 --> 00:00:31,724
[growls, bleep]

4
00:00:31,793 --> 00:00:33,103
[laughter]

5
00:00:33,172 --> 00:00:35,000
♪♪

6
00:00:57,586 --> 00:00:59,689
Come wash my back!

7
00:00:59,758 --> 00:01:00,758
What are we doing?

8
00:01:06,379 --> 00:01:08,068
Can I jump in with you guys?

9
00:01:08,137 --> 00:01:10,344
♪♪

10
00:01:10,413 --> 00:01:11,551
Come on, bitch.

11
00:01:19,586 --> 00:01:20,931
[woman]
He just touched it.

12
00:01:23,310 --> 00:01:24,862
I got him.
I got him.

13
00:01:29,758 --> 00:01:32,413
Yeah, I'm a real bonehead
when it comes to these things.

14
00:01:36,379 --> 00:01:37,586
What's up with that?

15
00:01:37,655 --> 00:01:39,689
Take it easy, my friend.

16
00:01:39,758 --> 00:01:41,724
-No, I--
-No, no, listen, listen,

17
00:01:41,793 --> 00:01:43,724
take it easy.
-What?

18
00:01:43,793 --> 00:01:46,655
Yeah, I'm trying to find
a guitar that Steve Vai plays.

19
00:01:46,724 --> 00:01:48,344
♪♪

20
00:01:51,965 --> 00:01:54,379
-I can't have it that loud.
-Oh, I'm sorry, mate.

21
00:01:57,275 --> 00:01:59,793
[laughter]
Ow.

22
00:02:06,896 --> 00:02:10,241
-Get it pumping.
-Yeah, exactly.

23
00:02:10,310 --> 00:02:12,206
All right, I'll bust this out.

24
00:02:14,206 --> 00:02:15,896
Oh, this is hard.

25
00:02:15,965 --> 00:02:17,517
Pull that back.

26
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,965
Get it up.

27
00:02:22,034 --> 00:02:22,965
Where do you get sodas around--

28
00:02:23,034 --> 00:02:25,551
-Oh, gee.
-No problem.

29
00:02:25,620 --> 00:02:27,482
Do you have this shoe in 11?

30
00:02:27,551 --> 00:02:28,931
Yeah.

31
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,448
I can almost pull these
off with shorts, huh?

32
00:02:31,517 --> 00:02:33,034
You can do it.

33
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,482
[shouting]

34
00:03:03,965 --> 00:03:05,862
You always walk around
with your [bleep] standing up?

35
00:03:05,931 --> 00:03:07,586
Uh, dude, I'm sorry.

36
00:03:14,241 --> 00:03:15,724
Yo, what the [bleep]!

37
00:03:15,793 --> 00:03:17,724
[bleep] that one hurt!

38
00:03:19,517 --> 00:03:22,689
I'm gonna grab me some food...

39
00:03:22,758 --> 00:03:24,103
...for the team.

40
00:03:25,862 --> 00:03:27,655
Two medium Cokes,
small fries and...

41
00:03:27,724 --> 00:03:30,379
-Yes.
-Go, go, go.

42
00:03:30,448 --> 00:03:31,758
Is there ketchup in there?

43
00:03:35,241 --> 00:03:36,896
[whistle blowing]

44
00:03:39,275 --> 00:03:44,172
[marching band music plays]

45
00:03:47,172 --> 00:03:52,000
[symphonic music plays]

46
00:04:15,896 --> 00:04:20,103
♪♪

47
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:23,655
Well, I'm Johnny Knoxville,
United States of America.

48
00:04:23,724 --> 00:04:24,793
And I'll be doing
a little article

49
00:04:24,862 --> 00:04:26,862
on self-defense equipment.

50
00:04:26,931 --> 00:04:28,482
I going to, uh...

51
00:04:28,551 --> 00:04:31,448
start off
by spraying myself with

52
00:04:31,517 --> 00:04:33,448
red pepper spray.

53
00:04:33,517 --> 00:04:36,862
It's the, uh, highest
concentration you can get.

54
00:04:36,931 --> 00:04:39,965
Followed by, uh, 120,000 volt,

55
00:04:40,034 --> 00:04:42,862
uh, stun gun.

56
00:04:42,931 --> 00:04:46,758
And then I'll be getting
shot with a, uh...

57
00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:50,689
taser gun, 50,000 volts for
roughly around 30 seconds.

58
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:54,103
This right here is where
the hooks come out.

59
00:04:54,172 --> 00:04:55,137
I guess.

60
00:04:57,724 --> 00:04:59,275
This is not good stuff.

61
00:04:59,344 --> 00:05:00,896
Hit me!

62
00:05:00,965 --> 00:05:03,137
[coughs]

63
00:05:03,206 --> 00:05:06,137
Aw!

64
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:08,000
Mmm!

65
00:05:08,068 --> 00:05:10,275
[grunts]

66
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,103
Oh my God.

67
00:05:12,172 --> 00:05:14,000
[bleep] help.

68
00:05:16,724 --> 00:05:18,896
Aw, I feel like
my eyes have gonorrhea.

69
00:05:18,965 --> 00:05:22,448
Oh, ahh!

70
00:05:22,517 --> 00:05:25,344
I will put anything
in my eyes, man.

71
00:05:25,413 --> 00:05:27,310
-You want the water?
-No.

72
00:05:28,448 --> 00:05:32,310
Spray you down?
Dive in the pool.

73
00:05:32,379 --> 00:05:33,724
Puh!

74
00:05:33,793 --> 00:05:36,172
Would that stop an assailant?

75
00:05:36,241 --> 00:05:38,586
That would stop
a [bleep] freight train.

76
00:05:43,172 --> 00:05:44,689
[buzzing]

77
00:05:44,758 --> 00:05:47,068
Charge!

78
00:05:47,137 --> 00:05:49,275
Ahh! Oh!
[bleep]

79
00:05:54,413 --> 00:05:58,862
[sighs]

80
00:05:58,931 --> 00:06:03,793
Really no marks left
where you got me.

81
00:06:03,862 --> 00:06:05,931
-Do you wanna do that one again?
-No.

82
00:06:08,413 --> 00:06:10,379
Weren't you on 9021--
Not too long!

83
00:06:10,448 --> 00:06:13,965
Ahh! Ahh! Ohh!
[bleep]

84
00:06:14,034 --> 00:06:16,275
Hell! Ahh!

85
00:06:16,344 --> 00:06:18,000
Ah! No, wait!

86
00:06:18,068 --> 00:06:21,034
Ah! Ah!
[bleep]

87
00:06:21,103 --> 00:06:24,137
No Jase.
Ow!

88
00:06:24,206 --> 00:06:26,586
Jason, put it down,
keep your [bleep]...

89
00:06:26,655 --> 00:06:31,586
-Here, do it to yourself.
-No, ow! [bleep]

90
00:06:31,655 --> 00:06:33,965
The one hurt.
The one's been...

91
00:06:34,034 --> 00:06:35,862
That was worse
than the stun gun.

92
00:06:35,931 --> 00:06:37,172
[exhales]

93
00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:44,206
[groans]

94
00:06:44,275 --> 00:06:46,137
-So what was more effective?
-The pepper spray's

95
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,724
the worst by far.
Like, the stun gun

96
00:06:48,793 --> 00:06:50,586
you'd get up again
in a few seconds.

97
00:06:50,655 --> 00:06:51,965
But it knocked you down.

98
00:06:52,034 --> 00:06:54,793
And the taser gun,
yeah, that sucked.

99
00:06:54,862 --> 00:06:56,413
You guys wanna
go watch it on the TV?

100
00:06:58,068 --> 00:07:01,068
♪♪

101
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,517
[man laughing]

102
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,758
♪♪

103
00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:25,827
-Excuse me, sir?
-Yes.

104
00:07:25,896 --> 00:07:28,827
Um, I need to know where
a hardware store is.

105
00:07:28,896 --> 00:07:32,724
I'm trying to score some rope.

106
00:07:32,793 --> 00:07:34,344
How about the 5 South?

107
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:37,896
Yeah, I'm going to the
Angeles National Forest.

108
00:07:37,965 --> 00:07:40,517
[screaming/pounding]

109
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,689
-[screaming]
-Whoo.

110
00:07:42,758 --> 00:07:44,827
[man screaming]

111
00:07:44,896 --> 00:07:46,862
[woman]
Oh my God!

112
00:07:46,931 --> 00:07:51,137
[screaming continues]

113
00:07:51,206 --> 00:07:54,275
[man shouts]

114
00:07:54,344 --> 00:07:58,758
[tires screech]

115
00:07:58,827 --> 00:08:01,379
Jesus loves you.

116
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:03,000
[laughing]

117
00:08:03,068 --> 00:08:05,551
Hey, buddy, you doing
all right back there?

118
00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:09,034
♪♪

119
00:08:09,103 --> 00:08:11,172
-Can I help you?
-I need a hardware store.

120
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,724
Do you know
where a hardware store is?

121
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,827
Down there to the right.

122
00:08:14,896 --> 00:08:17,034
Do you have any industrial
strength adhesives?

123
00:08:17,103 --> 00:08:19,034
-Someone is in here.
-Yeah, I think

124
00:08:19,103 --> 00:08:20,896
my car is rattling.
-Somebody's in the trunk.

125
00:08:20,965 --> 00:08:22,413
Someone is in here.

126
00:08:22,482 --> 00:08:25,379
-[man screaming]
-Ahh!

127
00:08:25,448 --> 00:08:27,724
What is going on here?
What is this?

128
00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:30,344
[screaming continues,
tires screech]

129
00:08:30,413 --> 00:08:32,758
♪♪

130
00:08:32,827 --> 00:08:35,379
Later, dude.

131
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,724
Your sexiness
just scares people.

132
00:08:37,793 --> 00:08:41,793
From my, um, experiments
with sexiness,

133
00:08:41,862 --> 00:08:45,103
seems like you're afraid
at first and fear usually

134
00:08:45,172 --> 00:08:48,344
equals violence, but eventually
I'll win their hearts,

135
00:08:48,413 --> 00:08:51,241
and instead of fighting,
they'll wanna make love to me.

136
00:08:51,310 --> 00:08:53,172
-Even the men?
-Yup.

137
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,586
You getting hot
back there, buddy?

138
00:08:58,310 --> 00:09:00,206
Excuse me, sir, I have
a full-grown semi-nude man

139
00:09:00,275 --> 00:09:01,793
bound with duct tape
in my trunk and...

140
00:09:01,862 --> 00:09:03,172
-What?
-I was trying to get out

141
00:09:03,241 --> 00:09:06,068
to the desert to bury him.
How do I get to 5 South?

142
00:09:06,137 --> 00:09:07,344
Hold on.

143
00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:11,862
[woman exclaims]

144
00:09:11,931 --> 00:09:15,827
♪♪

145
00:09:34,068 --> 00:09:37,413
[screaming throughout]

146
00:09:43,413 --> 00:09:45,000
♪♪

147
00:09:51,586 --> 00:09:55,724
♪ Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough ♪

148
00:09:55,793 --> 00:09:59,862
♪ Come and have a go if you
think you'’re hard enough ♪

149
00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:02,344
♪ Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough ♪

150
00:10:02,413 --> 00:10:04,551
♪♪

151
00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:05,862
♪ Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough ♪

152
00:10:05,931 --> 00:10:08,206
I want you to punch me
in the face once second

153
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,931
prior to takeoff
so it softens the blow.

154
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,896
♪♪

155
00:10:25,655 --> 00:10:27,482
♪ Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough ♪

156
00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:31,724
♪ Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough ♪

157
00:10:34,172 --> 00:10:36,000
♪ Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough ♪

158
00:10:38,413 --> 00:10:41,965
♪ Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough ♪

159
00:10:42,034 --> 00:10:43,655
[bleep]

160
00:10:43,724 --> 00:10:46,275
♪♪

161
00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:19,000
♪ Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough ♪

162
00:11:19,068 --> 00:11:21,172
♪♪

163
00:11:21,241 --> 00:11:23,172
♪ Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough ♪

164
00:11:23,241 --> 00:11:25,517
♪♪

165
00:11:25,586 --> 00:11:27,448
♪ Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough ♪

166
00:11:27,517 --> 00:11:29,551
♪♪

167
00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:31,655
♪ Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough ♪

168
00:11:31,724 --> 00:11:34,896
♪♪

169
00:11:34,965 --> 00:11:38,000
I'm Jackassand you're watching
Raab himself.

170
00:11:51,827 --> 00:11:54,379
♪♪

171
00:11:56,586 --> 00:11:58,241
♪♪

172
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:09,655
♪♪

173
00:12:26,241 --> 00:12:28,275
[bike bell rings]

174
00:12:28,344 --> 00:12:30,620
♪♪

175
00:12:38,620 --> 00:12:41,068
-Are you all right?
-It's okay, it's okay.

176
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:49,206
[baby crying]

177
00:13:00,206 --> 00:13:02,689
Is that baby all right?

178
00:13:02,758 --> 00:13:06,275
Someone needs to take out
the kid on that bike...

179
00:13:06,344 --> 00:13:10,448
♪♪

180
00:13:10,517 --> 00:13:13,965
[people exclaim]

181
00:13:14,034 --> 00:13:16,896
He's okay, he's okay.

182
00:13:16,965 --> 00:13:18,896
It's all right.

183
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,206
[baby crying]

184
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,793
[bike bell rings]

185
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,517
You're gonna have to leave
my drive-thru now.

186
00:13:35,586 --> 00:13:38,103
[horn honks]

187
00:13:50,103 --> 00:13:54,068
♪♪

188
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:58,965
Ohh!

189
00:13:59,034 --> 00:14:01,724
♪♪

190
00:14:05,413 --> 00:14:07,000
[horn honks]

191
00:14:18,862 --> 00:14:21,724
♪ Did you say
you heard a rumor ♪

192
00:14:21,793 --> 00:14:23,862
♪♪

193
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:26,000
♪ And if you did
I'll let you know ♪

194
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:31,241
♪ You won't need,
you won't need no ruler ♪

195
00:14:33,551 --> 00:14:35,965
♪ When you give
this doggie his bone ♪

196
00:14:38,241 --> 00:14:40,827
♪ See Mama
told me to be humble ♪

197
00:14:43,172 --> 00:14:46,517
♪ Daddy told me not to lie ♪

198
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:48,793
♪ Yeah I'm a big boy ♪

199
00:14:48,862 --> 00:14:51,724
♪♪

200
00:14:51,793 --> 00:14:53,586
♪I'm a big boy ♪

201
00:14:53,655 --> 00:14:56,896
♪♪

202
00:14:56,965 --> 00:14:58,172
♪ I'm a big boy ♪

203
00:14:58,241 --> 00:15:01,862
♪♪

204
00:15:01,931 --> 00:15:03,482
♪ I'm a big boy ♪

205
00:15:03,551 --> 00:15:07,344
♪♪

206
00:15:07,413 --> 00:15:10,137
♪ I might take
a little getting used to ♪

207
00:15:10,206 --> 00:15:12,379
♪♪

208
00:15:12,448 --> 00:15:15,344
♪ But don't worry
we got a life... ♪

209
00:15:25,965 --> 00:15:27,758
[line ringing]

210
00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:29,344
Good morning, doctor's office.

211
00:15:29,413 --> 00:15:32,000
Good morning, this is
Johnny Knoxville calling.

212
00:15:32,068 --> 00:15:34,862
-Yes.
-I'm doing, uh,

213
00:15:34,931 --> 00:15:37,620
a stunt tomorrow
where I get put

214
00:15:37,689 --> 00:15:41,103
in a porta-potty
and dumped upside down.

215
00:15:41,172 --> 00:15:46,103
And it's gonna be full
of poo and whatnot.

216
00:15:46,172 --> 00:15:48,655
And I need to know what
pertinent shots

217
00:15:48,724 --> 00:15:52,689
I need to receive before
this stunt goes down.

218
00:15:52,758 --> 00:15:54,586
I know it's an odd question.

219
00:15:54,655 --> 00:15:57,275
[woman laughing]
That's great!

220
00:16:03,068 --> 00:16:04,620
Now what is that exactly?

221
00:16:04,689 --> 00:16:07,517
-Pitbull.
-How many pitbulls do you have?

222
00:16:07,586 --> 00:16:09,137
-Two.
-Whoo!

223
00:16:12,965 --> 00:16:15,724
Last kernel out.

224
00:16:15,793 --> 00:16:19,034
What character as you?

225
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,896
In Greg Pooganis.

226
00:16:20,965 --> 00:16:23,068
March [bleep].

227
00:16:23,137 --> 00:16:25,068
Do these feel
really tight on my eyes?

228
00:16:25,137 --> 00:16:26,137
Do they look really
tight on my eyes?

229
00:16:30,379 --> 00:16:32,517
I mean, do they make
my eyes look funny?

230
00:16:37,758 --> 00:16:40,241
My name is Johnny Knoxville,
and this is the poo cocktail.

231
00:17:15,172 --> 00:17:17,034
Ahh!

232
00:17:35,034 --> 00:17:36,689
Gross.

233
00:17:36,758 --> 00:17:38,620
Oh, ooh.

234
00:17:47,586 --> 00:17:49,000
Ahh!

235
00:17:52,344 --> 00:17:54,000
Oh, dude, dude, dude, dude!

236
00:17:58,655 --> 00:18:00,724
Ahh!

237
00:18:00,793 --> 00:18:03,000
[laughing]

238
00:18:03,068 --> 00:18:04,931
Ahh! Ahh!

239
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,172
Get 'em off first.

240
00:18:18,275 --> 00:18:21,000
Come wash my back!
Wash my back!

241
00:18:24,862 --> 00:18:27,206
[laughing]

242
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:40,068
[buzzing]

243
00:18:45,137 --> 00:18:46,517
Oh.

244
00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:50,965
[insects buzzing]

245
00:18:57,482 --> 00:18:59,275
Well, how do you
think it went?

246
00:18:59,344 --> 00:19:02,172
It was disgusting.
It was horrible.

247
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:04,413
Three of 'em went
slowly down my back.

248
00:19:04,482 --> 00:19:08,344
I was awash in a sea of poo.

249
00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:12,068
Oh! Oh!

250
00:19:12,137 --> 00:19:13,758
My name is Johnny Knoxville,
and today

251
00:19:13,827 --> 00:19:15,068
I'm gonna jump the L.A. River.

252
00:19:20,586 --> 00:19:22,758
-Can I have your autograph?
-Anyone have a pencil or a pen?

253
00:19:22,827 --> 00:19:24,965
[bleep]

254
00:19:25,034 --> 00:19:28,344
-No.
-How about a crayon?

255
00:19:28,413 --> 00:19:31,517
-You look great today.
-Oh, yeah?

256
00:19:31,586 --> 00:19:34,620
Take this paper with you.
If you find a pen,

257
00:19:34,689 --> 00:19:36,758
put your autograph on it
for me, would you?

258
00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:38,413
I think this guy is a little
attracted to me.

259
00:19:38,482 --> 00:19:39,965
[laughing]
A little?!

260
00:19:40,034 --> 00:19:41,793
-Thank you very much.
-Okay, ready, one, two, three.

261
00:19:41,862 --> 00:19:44,137
-Welcome to Jackass.
-Welcome to Jackass.

262
00:19:45,896 --> 00:19:50,482
♪♪

263
00:20:07,241 --> 00:20:08,724
That sucks.