>> COME.
COME, COME, COME, COME, COME.
BOO.
HI, I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE.
WELCOME TO "JACKASS".
THIS!
COME WASH MY BACK!
RIGHT NOW, I'M GOING TO GO TALK
TO THE SKUNK LADY.
I PLAN ON GETTING SPRAYED HERE
IN A LITTLE WHILE, AND I HAVE
SOME QUESTIONS FOR HER.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SPRAYED BY A
SKUNK?
>> NEVER.
A FULL-ON SPRAY IS VERY
NAUSEATING.
OF COURSE, IT GOES AWAY.
IT BURNS LIKE MACE.
IT SMELLS.
I MEAN, IT'S GOING TO BE
NAUSEATING FOR EVERYBODY.
>> AND IT'S ALL LOCATED AROUND
THEIR HINDQUARTERS?
>> IT'S IN THEIR ANUS.
THERE'S TWO, LIKE, MARBLES.
THEY CAN ACTUALLY GO...
>> I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE AND I'M
ABOUT TO GET SPRAYED BY A SKUNK.
HELLO.
HELLO, MR. SKUNK.
HI, MR. SKUNK.
HOW ARE YOU?
COME HERE, SKUNK--
AH!
WHOA-OW!
OH!
>> LET HIM OUT.
>> WELL, DAMN IT, I'M TRYING TO.
OK.
OW!
HE, DAMN IT!
AH, !
DAMN IT!
AH, !
DAMN IT!
OH, !
OH, I CAN SMELL IT.
SO THAT'S 5 SQUIRTS.
HE'S GOT TO BE OUT AFTER THE
NEXT ONE, RIGHT?
>> YES.
>> RICK, KEEP FILMING.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE FREE.
AH, HE DID IT AGAIN!
OH, MY GOD.
>> HOW DO YOU SMELL?
>> WELL, LIKE A DAMN SKUNK.
HOW DO YOU THINK I SMELL?
>> I DON'T WANT TO GO ANYWHERE
NEAR HIM.
IT SMELLS TOO--WAY TOO BAD.
>> CAN WJUST, LIKE, KEEP ONE
OF THESE DOORS OPEN?
>> I JUST HAD A TOUGH DAY
TODAY.
>> LOOK, MAN...
I GOT ELECTROCUTED, AND THEN I
GOT SKUNK ALL OVER ME.
LEAVE ME ALONE, ALL RIGHT?
>> NOW YOU NEED TO TAKE A BATH
IN TOMATO JUICE TO GET THAT
SMELL OFF.
>> OH, OOW!
>> ALL RIGHT, TRIP, YOU FOLLOW
BLIND GUY.
YOU STAY ON THE CAR BANGING.
>> YEP.
>> AND YOU JUST STAY WITH BLIND
GUY.
YOU STAY WITH HIM ALL THE WAY
OUT OF FRAME.
BIKES UP HERE.
>> WRITE "BIKE".
CAN YOU DO THE CAR?
>> OH, HERE'S THE CARS.
HERE'S BLIND MAN'S CAR.
HERE'S THE EXPEDITION.
>> RIGHT MY NAME DOWN ON THERE.
>> GETS IN HERE.
BOM-BOM, BOM-BOM, BOM-BOM.
OUT--
>> CRASH.
I'M OVER HERE JUST GETTING THE
CRASH AGAIN.
THE BIKES COMING FROM...
>> WHAT DO YOU WANT?
JUST--YOU WANT ME TO GET
REACTIONS, THAT'S IT?
>> I THINK WE SHOULD ALL FILM
THE CRASH, THEN REACTIONS.
>> RICK, YOU ARE...
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU REMEMBER WHERE HE WAS?
>> EXCUSE ME.
>> IS THAT YOUR CAR OVER THERE?
>> WHOA, WHOA!
>> OW--GOD!
OUCH!
>> OH, GOD!
HE JUST HIT HIM!
>> V-C-C-6-7-8.
THAT GUY'S LIKE...
>> I'M CALLING 911.
>> HE WAS STOPPED...
>> THERE'S A BLIND GUY IN THE
CAR.
>> I'M BAM MARGERA, AND I FEEL
LIKE KICKING MY DAD'S ASS ALL
DAY TODAY.
>> HUH?
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
>> WHAT HAPPENED?
>> COME ON, BAM.
I HAVE TO GO TO WORK, JERK OFF!
STOP IT!
COME ON, I GOTTA DO A LOT OF
WORK ONE TIME.
WILL YOU STOP?
STOP IT!
HEY, YOU HIT ME IN THE NUTS!
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
COME ON, BAM.
YOU KNOW MY SHOULDER'S SORE.
JUST STOP.
IT'S ENOUGH.
BO, DID YOU JUST CALL ME?
HOW COME YOU HUNG UP?
STOP, BAM!
I'M ON THE PHONE.
STOP IT!
I'M ABOUT TO KICK THE CAMERA OUT
OF HIS HAND.
HOW DOES HE LIKE THAT?
BYE-BYE, CAMERA!
WOO-HOO!
DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE
>> I'M RYAN DUNN.
I'M ABOUT TO HIT SOME HAGGARD
BACKWOODS CRAP.
I HIT MY NUTS!
DOOMPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT A PERFECT
PUZZLE FOR YOU
OOMPA LOOMPA
DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE
YOU'LL LISTEN TO ME
OOMPA LOOMPA
DOOMPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT A PERFECT
PUZZLE FOR YOU
OOMPA LOOMPA
DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE
COME
OF
DOOMPADEE DOO
I'VE GOT A PERFECT
PUZZLE FOR YOU
OOMPA LOOMPA
DOOMPADAH DEE
IF YOU ARE WISE
>> THANKS, BUDDY.
>> MY NAME IS RICHARD.
>> RICHARD?
YOU WILL GO FAR
YOU WILL LIVE IN
HAPPINESS, TOO
LIKE THE OOMPA LOOMPA
DOOMPADEE DO DOOMPADEE DO
>> WE GOING?
CAN I JUMP IN WITH YOU GUYS?
COME ON, BITCH.
>> LOOK, HE JUST TOUCHED IT.
AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT
AND I KNOW
I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW
>> YEAH, I'M A REAL BONEHEAD
WHEN IT COMES TO THESE THINGS.
>> WHAT'S HAPPENING?
TAKE IT EASY, MY FRIEND.
>> NO, I'M JUST LOOKING--
>> NO, NO, LISTEN, LISTEN, TAKE
IT EASY.
>> WHAT?
YEAH, I'M TRYING TO FIND A
GUITAR THAT STEVE VAI PLAYED.
>> YEAH, I CAN'T HAVE IT THAT
LOUD AGAIN.
>> OH, I'M SORRY, MAN.
>> NICE GYM TO GET A PUMP IN.
>> YEAH, EXACTLY.
>> ALL RIGHT, I'LL BUST THIS
OUT.
>> OH, THIS IS HARD.
>> BOW THAT BACK.
>> GET IT UP.
>> WHERE DO YOU GET SODAS
AROUND--OH, SHOOT!
>> NO PROBLEM.
SODAS?
>> DO YOU HAVE THIS SHOE IN 11?
>> YEAH.
>> I CAN ALMOST PULL THESE OFF
WITH SHORTS, HUH?
>> YOU CAN DO IT.
HEY, HEY
I THINK I LIKE IT
>> KEYAH!
YAH-HA!
YAH!
WHOO!
YAH!
>> DO YOU ALWAYS WALK AROUND
WITH YOUR STANDING UP?
>> OH, DUDE, I'M SORRY.
>> URBAN KAYAKING--IT'S A NEW
SPORT.
IT'S TAKING OVER.
IT'S PRETTY GOOD.
IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW LIKE,
ROLLERBLADING FIRST HIT THE
SCENE WITH LIKE THE HOCKEY AT
FIRST?
THIS IS LIKE, YOU KNOW, KAYAKING
HIT THE SCENE ON THE WATER, AND
IN THE, LIKE, RIVERS, NATURE,
AND ALL THAT.
BUT WE'RE TAKING IT OUT OF
NATURE AND BRINGING IT TO THE
CITY.
>> ONE DAY IT HIT ME, AND I WAS
LIKE !
OOW, CRAP!
SO I KNOW THAT THERE'S A SUPER
SICK FOUNTAIN AROUND HERE
SOMEWHERE, MAN.
WE'RE GOING TO FIND IT AND WE'RE
GOING TO KILL IT.
>> URBAN KAYAKING!
WOO!
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK OF URBAN
KAYAKING?
>> OH, GREAT.
>> NATURE SUCKS ANYWAYS.
IT'S SO NICE TO GET OUT IN THE
CITY AND TAKE CARE OF SOME
SERIOUS BUSINESS.
I DON'T MEAN TO TOOT MY OWN
HORN, BUT BEEP-BEEP.
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK OF URBAN
KAYAKING?
>> OH, WE'RE GOING TO CREATE OUR
OWN BRAND OF URBAN KAYAK THAT'S
JUST GOING TO BE REALLY
CONDUCIVE TO THE SURROUNDING
URBAN NATURE OF THE--OUR SPORT.
THE GREAT PART IS YOU DON'T NEED
WATER.
IT'S NICE, BUT YOU DON'T NEED
IT.
>> UK!
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK OF URBAN
KAYAKING?
>> THAT'S GREAT.
THAT LOOKS LIKE A RUSH.
>> MAN, I'M BEAT.
LONG DAY OF URBAN KAYAKING IN
THE HOT SUN.
IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN
THAT.
>> HI, I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE AND
THIS IS STEVE-O.
HE'S GETTING READY TO DO THE
GOLDFISH TRICK.
>> WHAT DO YOU SAY WE TRY A
LITTLE BOXING?
>> I'M NIGEL "THE UK HAMMER"
HUDSON.
JOHNNY KNOXVILLE CHALLENGED ME
TO A FIGHT IN THE RING.
CRIPPLE OR NO CRIPPLE, HE'S
GOING DOWN.
>> THIS ONE'S FOR THE STARS AND
BARS.
>> OH!
YOU EVER KILLED A GUY IN THE
RING?
AW--THAT'S GOOD.
YOU GOT ANY ADVICE FOR ME?
>> KEEP YOUR HANDS UP, BABY.
>> IN THE RED CORNER, WITH A
RECORD OF 80 FIGHTS, KNOCKED OUT
65 TIMES, JOHNNY KNOXVILLE.
HIS OPPONENT, "THE UK HAMMER",
WITH A RECORD OF 2-0, NIGEL
HUDSON.
>> HI, I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE, AND
I'M ABOUT TO GET KNOCKED OUT.
OW!
>> ALL RIGHT.
GO TO THE NEUTRAL CORNER.
ONE...
TWO...
UGH!
OW!
>> THAT'S IT.
>> OH!
OH!
HOW'D I DO?
>> WINNER BY KNOCKOUT, IN 3
SECONDS OF THE FIRST ROUND,
NIGEL "THE HAMMER" HUDSON.
>> WOO!
>> THAT RAN MY RECORD TO 0-81
LIFETIME, WITH 66 KNOCKOUTS.
ALL IN ALL, I THINK IT WAS A
SUCCESS.
>> OW!
>> YOW!
>> GO HOME!
>> WHAT'S UP, CHICKS?
>> HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
>> YEAH!
YEAH--HEH!
>> OH, NO.
>> IS THAT ENOUGH?
>> THAT'S TOO MUCH.
>> HI, I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE AND
THIS IS STEVE-O.
HE'S GETTING READY TO DO THE
GOLDFISH TRICK.
NOW, NONE OF THESE FISH ARE
GOING TO BE HURT, ARE THEY?
>> NO.
I WANT TO SWALLOW THIS GOLDFISH
AND PUKE HIM INTO THE BOWL.
OK, ARE WE READY?
OH, GOD.
COME ON, BABY, YOU CAN MAKE IT.
>> HE AIN'T COMING BACK...
>> COME ON, DUDE.
YEAH!
THAT IS MY BUDDY!
HEY, BUDDY.
HEY, MY MAN.
>> NO WAY.
>> HE LIVED, DUDE.
>> HOLD ON, PUT HIM IN THE
FRESH WATER.
>> THAT'S MY BRO.
THAT FISH IS BAD.
>> I THOUGHT WE HAD KILLED THE
GOLDFISH.
>> I'VE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE.
>> OH, YEAH?
>> THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I'VE
EVER EVEN TRIED IT, YEAH.
>> HEH HEH, I GOT ME A GOLDFISH.
>> ALL RIGHT, TAKE CARE, SLEEPY.
HEY, BE COOL, MAN.
>> URBAN KAYAK, COMING THROUGH.
URBAN KAYAK.
>> WHOO!
>> HE'S STILL GOING, TOO.
>> YEAH!
>> WHOO-HOO-HOO!
>> WHOO!
>>
DO YOU ALWAYS WALK AROUND WITH
YOUR STANDING UP?
>> OH, DUDE, I'M SORRY.
>> THAT GUY RIGHT THERE IS THE
BEST DAMN ROLLER SKATER THERE
EVER WAS, MAYBE IN THE WHOLE
TOWN.