1 00:00:19,517 --> 00:00:20,137 >> HI. 2 00:00:20,137 --> 00:00:21,896 I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE. 3 00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:24,689 I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE. WELCOME TO "JACKASS." 4 00:00:24,689 --> 00:00:48,275 WELCOME TO "JACKASS." 5 00:00:48,275 --> 00:00:50,275 WELCOME TO "JACKASS." >> COME WASH MY BACK! 6 00:00:50,275 --> 00:00:53,275 >> COME WASH MY BACK! 7 00:00:53,275 --> 00:00:53,827 >> HELLO. 8 00:00:53,827 --> 00:00:54,862 I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE, AND I'M 9 00:00:54,862 --> 00:00:56,931 HERE IN LOVELY SHIPESHIRE, AND I 10 00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:59,310 SHALL NOW LIKE TO GET SHOT--OK. 11 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,241 HOW YOU PRONOUNCE IT, 12 00:01:00,241 --> 00:01:01,379 SHARPSHIRE? 13 00:01:01,379 --> 00:01:02,275 >> SHROPSHIRE. 14 00:01:02,275 --> 00:01:03,172 >> SHARPSHIRE. 15 00:01:03,172 --> 00:01:04,034 >> SHROP. 16 00:01:04,034 --> 00:01:05,137 >> SHROPSHIRE. 17 00:01:05,137 --> 00:01:06,862 OK, OK, HERE WE GO. 18 00:01:06,862 --> 00:01:08,034 HELLO, I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE, AND 19 00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,586 I'M HERE IN LOVELY SHROPSHIRE, 20 00:01:10,586 --> 00:01:12,413 AND I SHALL NOW LIKE TO GET SHOT 21 00:01:12,413 --> 00:01:15,034 WITH A CROSSBOW. 22 00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:17,172 WITH A CROSSBOW. IVAN. 23 00:01:17,172 --> 00:01:23,344 IVAN. 24 00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:25,103 >> THAT'S IT. 25 00:01:25,103 --> 00:01:26,172 >> YOU LIKE THAT KIND OF THING. 26 00:01:26,172 --> 00:01:27,206 >> THANK YOU. 27 00:01:27,206 --> 00:01:28,586 >> THANK YOU. >> WELL DONE. 28 00:01:28,586 --> 00:01:30,965 >> WELL DONE. 29 00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,551 >> WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SIR? 30 00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:33,275 >> NIKADA. 31 00:01:33,275 --> 00:01:33,896 >> NIKADA? 32 00:01:33,896 --> 00:01:34,655 JOHNNY. 33 00:01:34,655 --> 00:01:35,103 >> OK, JOHNNY. 34 00:01:35,103 --> 00:01:36,965 I HAVE THE KEY TO HOW TO DO THE 35 00:01:36,965 --> 00:01:37,551 BASICS. 36 00:01:37,551 --> 00:01:39,586 I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE HURT. 37 00:01:39,586 --> 00:01:40,000 >> RIGHT. 38 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,034 >> YOU USE YOUR FOREHEAD TO HIT 39 00:01:42,034 --> 00:01:43,310 YOUR OPPONENTS. 40 00:01:43,310 --> 00:01:44,275 H'YAH. 41 00:01:44,275 --> 00:01:45,172 >> RIGHT. 42 00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:45,655 >> BEND DOWN. 43 00:01:45,655 --> 00:01:46,827 >> WHAT'S YOUR BEST FACE WHEN 44 00:01:46,827 --> 00:01:47,379 YOU FIGHT? 45 00:01:47,379 --> 00:01:48,758 WHAT'S YOUR BEST FACE YOU CAN 46 00:01:48,758 --> 00:01:49,068 MAKE? 47 00:01:49,068 --> 00:01:50,931 >> I CAN DO LIKE A MIKE TYSON 48 00:01:50,931 --> 00:01:51,689 FACE. 49 00:01:51,689 --> 00:01:53,310 H'YAH! 50 00:01:53,310 --> 00:01:53,965 >> H'YAH! 51 00:01:53,965 --> 00:01:56,068 >> ALSO, THIS IS MORE LIKE 52 00:01:56,068 --> 00:01:57,482 GIVING THEM A KEY. 53 00:01:57,482 --> 00:01:58,172 MORE MOTIVATION. 54 00:01:58,172 --> 00:01:59,379 >> OH, YOU GOT TO HIT HIM WITH 55 00:01:59,379 --> 00:01:59,827 THIS THING? 56 00:01:59,827 --> 00:02:01,275 >> BECAUSE IT'S THE SOUNDS, SEE? 57 00:02:01,275 --> 00:02:03,103 YOU KNOW, IF YOU MOVE IT, YOU 58 00:02:03,103 --> 00:02:04,931 YOU KNOW, IF YOU MOVE IT, YOU ARE DEAD. 59 00:02:04,931 --> 00:02:09,034 ARE DEAD. 60 00:02:09,034 --> 00:02:11,689 ARE DEAD. 61 00:02:16,931 --> 00:02:18,000 >> I CAN'T DO IT. 62 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:18,310 >> OK. 63 00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:19,413 >> MY GARBAGE WILL FALL OUT IF I 64 00:02:19,413 --> 00:02:21,482 >> MY GARBAGE WILL FALL OUT IF I GET ANY LOWER. 65 00:02:21,482 --> 00:02:35,724 GET ANY LOWER. 66 00:02:35,724 --> 00:02:36,931 >> HI. I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE. 67 00:02:36,931 --> 00:02:39,965 >> HI. I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE. THIS IS SUMO WRESTLING. 68 00:02:39,965 --> 00:02:44,827 THIS IS SUMO WRESTLING. 69 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:48,379 >> NO, NO. 70 00:02:48,379 --> 00:02:49,551 >> MAN, THIS THING IS HOT. 71 00:02:49,551 --> 00:02:50,827 >> AFTER TRAINING, NO 72 00:02:50,827 --> 00:02:52,586 COMPLAINING. 73 00:02:52,586 --> 00:02:53,724 >> OW! 74 00:02:53,724 --> 00:02:55,241 THIS IS GREAT. 75 00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:58,206 I LOVE IT! 76 00:03:03,034 --> 00:03:03,931 >> DON'T YOU NEED TO HIT HIM 77 00:03:03,931 --> 00:03:04,827 WITH THE STICK, THOUGH? 78 00:03:04,827 --> 00:03:05,586 HE FELL DOWN. 79 00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:06,206 >> YES. 80 00:03:06,206 --> 00:03:07,448 >> LOOK TOUGH. 81 00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:08,758 >> AAH! 82 00:03:08,758 --> 00:03:10,620 >> UHH! 83 00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:11,482 >> ALL RIGHT. 84 00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:14,137 >> AAH! 85 00:03:14,137 --> 00:03:15,448 AAH! 86 00:03:15,448 --> 00:03:17,758 AAH! 87 00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:33,068 >> JOHNNY, FRONT. 88 00:03:33,068 --> 00:03:33,758 >> FRONT? 89 00:03:33,758 --> 00:03:36,448 >> FRONT, YEP. 90 00:03:38,655 --> 00:03:40,448 >> DOES SUMO GET A LOT OF WOMEN? 91 00:03:40,448 --> 00:03:41,206 >> OF COURSE. 92 00:03:41,206 --> 00:03:42,551 >> THEIR PENIS SUPPOSED TO BE 93 00:03:42,551 --> 00:03:43,827 LIKE A ROUND THING. 94 00:03:43,827 --> 00:03:45,034 >> LIKE A PRINGLES CAN? 95 00:03:45,034 --> 00:03:45,517 >> YES. 96 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:46,965 >> CAN A SUMO WRESTLER BE ON 97 00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:47,448 TOP? 98 00:03:47,448 --> 00:03:48,689 >> NO. USUALLY THEY ARE ON THE 99 00:03:48,689 --> 00:03:50,206 BOTTOM BECAUSE OTHERWISE THEY 100 00:03:50,206 --> 00:03:52,793 ARE 500 POUNDS, WILL SQUASH 101 00:03:52,793 --> 00:03:53,137 THEM. 102 00:03:53,137 --> 00:03:55,586 THEY ARE LIKE RIDING A HORSE. 103 00:03:55,586 --> 00:03:56,379 >> RIGHT. 104 00:03:56,379 --> 00:03:59,206 >> I HAVE MY FUJI IN MY PANTS. 105 00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:02,000 >> I HAVE MY FUJI IN MY PANTS. YOU CAN BE ON TOP. 106 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,793 YOU CAN BE ON TOP. 107 00:04:04,793 --> 00:04:07,241 YOU CAN BE ON TOP. >> DUDE, CHECK IT OUT. 108 00:04:07,241 --> 00:04:09,275 >> DUDE, CHECK IT OUT. 109 00:04:09,275 --> 00:04:12,931 >> DUDE, CHECK IT OUT. 110 00:04:41,103 --> 00:04:41,620 >> SORRY, DUDE. 111 00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:43,310 I GOT A BIT TOO CARRIED AWAY ON 112 00:04:43,310 --> 00:04:44,586 THE GUITAR SOLO. 113 00:04:44,586 --> 00:04:46,965 LET ME SEE YOUR HEAD. 114 00:04:46,965 --> 00:04:48,758 LET ME SEE YOUR HEAD. >> YOU DID THAT. 115 00:04:48,758 --> 00:05:20,103 >> YOU DID THAT. 116 00:05:20,103 --> 00:05:23,310 >> YOU DID THAT. >> I LIKE YOUR PINK UNDERWEAR. 117 00:05:23,310 --> 00:05:37,758 >> I LIKE YOUR PINK UNDERWEAR. 118 00:05:37,758 --> 00:05:38,965 >> YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LEAVE 119 00:05:38,965 --> 00:05:40,620 MY DRIVE-THROUGH NOW. 120 00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:41,620 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO ACT LIKE 121 00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:44,000 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO ACT LIKE THIS INSIDE, GUYS. 122 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:55,000 THIS INSIDE, GUYS. 123 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:56,724 A LITTLE DRUNK 124 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,793 WITH ALL THIS FUNK REALITY 125 00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:01,000 WE DECIDED TO COME TO THE PARTY 126 00:06:02,310 --> 00:06:03,172 >> OOH! 127 00:06:04,586 --> 00:06:05,827 SOME FUNKY, FRESH ROOM 128 00:06:05,827 --> 00:06:06,689 AND TAKE IT FROM ME 129 00:06:06,689 --> 00:06:08,034 LISTEN TO THE FIFTH SIDE 130 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,034 FOR THE DISCO TREAT 131 00:06:10,034 --> 00:06:12,413 FOR THE DISCO TREAT 132 00:06:22,241 --> 00:06:25,344 >> YOU CANNOT-- 133 00:06:26,413 --> 00:06:27,689 THE HUMAN BEAT BOX 134 00:06:27,689 --> 00:06:28,482 IS ROCKIN' WITH ME 135 00:06:28,482 --> 00:06:31,206 1,000 POUNDS PUT ALL TOGETHER 136 00:06:31,206 --> 00:06:32,482 WE'RE DISCO BROTHERS 137 00:06:32,482 --> 00:06:33,275 TO LAST FOREVER 138 00:06:33,275 --> 00:06:34,517 AND THEN WE HEAD TO THE BOOM 139 00:06:34,517 --> 00:06:35,310 YOU KNOW THE CROWD 140 00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:36,000 STARTS BREAKIN' 141 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,172 THE CROWD STARTS BREAKIN' 142 00:06:37,172 --> 00:06:38,034 AND THE FUN STARTS SHAKIN' 143 00:06:38,034 --> 00:06:39,517 TO THE FUNKY RHYTHM 144 00:06:39,517 --> 00:06:40,655 AND WE GO FAST 145 00:06:40,655 --> 00:06:41,758 TO HAVE THE FRESH MOVE 146 00:06:41,758 --> 00:06:43,310 IN THIS VISIBLE RAP 147 00:06:43,310 --> 00:06:44,586 YOU TAKE ME OUT 148 00:06:44,586 --> 00:06:47,172 BUT YOU CAN CALL ME THE PRINCE 149 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,310 I SEE YOU'RE OVER 8 150 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:51,448 THAT'S GREAT 151 00:06:51,448 --> 00:06:52,620 YEAH, I'M OVERWEIGHT 152 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:53,793 BUT IT AIN'T NO THING 153 00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:55,068 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS FRESH 154 00:06:55,068 --> 00:06:56,655 AND GUARANTEED TO PASS 155 00:06:56,655 --> 00:06:58,172 ANY EMCEE CONTEST 156 00:06:58,172 --> 00:06:59,655 LIKE EMINEM'S CADDIE... 157 00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:02,000 TO BE A REAL LIVE LOVER 158 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,344 IS WHERE I STAND... 159 00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:06,689 BUT LISTEN TO THE WORDS 160 00:07:06,689 --> 00:07:08,448 AS I TELL MY STORY... 161 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,034 WHEN I WAS VERY SMALL 162 00:07:10,034 --> 00:07:11,448 I HAD THE BIRTHDAY CAKE 163 00:07:11,448 --> 00:07:12,758 PLATE, CANDLES AND ALL 164 00:07:12,758 --> 00:07:13,689 FOR BREAKFAST, IT WAS 165 00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:25,689 >> JESUS DID NOT INVENT THE 166 00:07:25,689 --> 00:07:27,000 CIRCUMCISION. 167 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,034 CIRCUMCISION. I DID--THE DEVIL HIMSELF. 168 00:07:30,034 --> 00:07:42,275 I DID--THE DEVIL HIMSELF. 169 00:07:42,275 --> 00:07:46,689 >> MY NAME'S SATAN, AND, UM, 170 00:07:46,689 --> 00:07:48,551 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M DOING 171 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:48,965 HERE. 172 00:07:48,965 --> 00:07:50,000 I SHOULD HAVE STAYED DOWN IN 173 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,758 HELL WHERE I BELONGED. 174 00:07:52,758 --> 00:07:55,000 >> WHERE ARE YOU NOW, SATAN? 175 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,241 >> I'M IN CALIFORNIA, AND 176 00:07:57,241 --> 00:07:58,551 THERE'S A BIG PROBLEM WITH GOD 177 00:07:58,551 --> 00:08:00,103 HERE IN CALIFORNIA. 178 00:08:00,103 --> 00:08:01,241 HE'S EVERYWHERE. 179 00:08:01,241 --> 00:08:03,103 [PLAYING MUSICAL VERSION 180 00:08:05,793 --> 00:08:09,482 OF "WHAT IF GOD WAS ONE OF US?"] 181 00:08:09,482 --> 00:08:11,689 KEEP GOD OUT OF CALIFORNIA. 182 00:08:11,689 --> 00:08:13,275 FIRE DOESN'T BURN IF YOU'RE 183 00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:14,413 ALREADY DEAD. 184 00:08:14,413 --> 00:08:16,482 DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE. 185 00:08:16,482 --> 00:08:17,586 THEY'RE LIARS. 186 00:08:17,586 --> 00:08:18,517 YOU MIGHT KNOW OF ME FROM THAT 187 00:08:18,517 --> 00:08:20,344 BOOK THAT YOU READ, BUT THOSE 188 00:08:20,344 --> 00:08:21,517 THINGS THAT WERE WRITTEN ABOUT 189 00:08:21,517 --> 00:08:23,793 ME AREN'T TRUE. 190 00:08:23,793 --> 00:08:25,620 FOR ONE THING, GOD DIDN'T INVENT 191 00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,137 CIRCUMCISIONS. 192 00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:27,793 I DID. 193 00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:29,965 KEEP GOD OUT OF CALIFORNIA! 194 00:08:29,965 --> 00:08:31,586 I'M NOT A BAD GUY! 195 00:08:31,586 --> 00:08:33,103 ALL THAT STUFF THAT THEY WROTE 196 00:08:33,103 --> 00:08:35,310 ABOUT ME WAS A LIE! 197 00:08:35,310 --> 00:08:36,551 DON'T HATE THE PLAYER! 198 00:08:36,551 --> 00:08:37,827 HATE THE GAME! 199 00:08:37,827 --> 00:08:39,655 I'M ACTUALLY A PRETTY NICE GUY 200 00:08:39,655 --> 00:08:40,827 IF YOU GET TO KNOW ME! 201 00:08:40,827 --> 00:08:42,000 >> GOD BLESS YOU. 202 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,275 >> GOD DIDN'T BLESS ME. 203 00:08:43,275 --> 00:08:45,241 HE WROTE A BUNCH OF FIBS ABOUT 204 00:08:45,241 --> 00:08:45,551 ME. 205 00:08:45,551 --> 00:08:46,793 >> 206 00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,172 HA HA HA! 207 00:08:48,172 --> 00:08:49,551 >> HI, GIRLS. 208 00:08:49,551 --> 00:08:50,206 I'M THE DEVIL. 209 00:08:50,206 --> 00:08:52,103 >> ARE YOU BEING SARCASTIC? 210 00:08:52,103 --> 00:08:52,896 >> THEY THREW ME FROM HEAVEN 211 00:08:52,896 --> 00:08:54,344 BECAUSE THEY WERE JEALOUS THAT I 212 00:08:54,344 --> 00:08:56,172 INVENTED THE CIRCUMCISION. 213 00:08:56,172 --> 00:08:57,655 GOD WAS SPYING ON ME WHILE I WAS 214 00:08:57,655 --> 00:09:00,275 IN THE BATHROOM, AND HE TOOK THE 215 00:09:00,275 --> 00:09:00,827 IDEA FROM ME. 216 00:09:00,827 --> 00:09:01,551 IF YOU READ IT--YOU CAN READ 217 00:09:01,551 --> 00:09:03,724 ABOUT IT, GENESIS 18, BUT IT'S A 218 00:09:03,724 --> 00:09:05,344 COMPLETE LIE, SO I'M JUST HERE 219 00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:07,758 TO CLEAR MY NAME. 220 00:09:07,758 --> 00:09:10,620 I'M A NICE MAN! 221 00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:11,517 >> 222 00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:12,827 >> I'M A NICE MAN, SIR. 223 00:09:12,827 --> 00:09:14,034 >> RIGHT HERE. 224 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:15,103 >> I CAME HERE-- 225 00:09:15,103 --> 00:09:15,931 >> GET THE OUT OF MY 226 00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:16,827 SIGHT, DUDE. 227 00:09:16,827 --> 00:09:17,413 >> I CAME HERE-- 228 00:09:17,413 --> 00:09:18,344 >> GET THE OUT OF MY 229 00:09:18,344 --> 00:09:19,724 SIGHT. 230 00:09:20,241 --> 00:09:21,896 >> THAT'S NOT CHRISTIAN. 231 00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:23,655 PSYCHO! 232 00:09:23,655 --> 00:09:25,758 PSYCHO! 233 00:09:49,241 --> 00:09:51,482 HOLY COW! 234 00:09:51,482 --> 00:09:54,068 >> OH! 235 00:09:54,068 --> 00:09:54,862 >> HE'S OK. 236 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:55,862 HE'S OK. 237 00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:59,137 HE'S OK. 238 00:09:59,137 --> 00:10:00,137 >> AAH! 239 00:10:00,137 --> 00:10:01,793 >> DUDE! 240 00:10:15,103 --> 00:10:15,586 >> OH, MAN. 241 00:10:15,586 --> 00:10:17,275 >> OH, IS THAT BABY ALL RIGHT? 242 00:10:17,275 --> 00:10:18,379 >> SOMEONE NEEDS TO CHECK OUT 243 00:10:18,379 --> 00:10:19,655 THE KID ON THAT BIKE AND MAKE 244 00:10:19,655 --> 00:10:22,793 THE KID ON THAT BIKE AND MAKE SURE THE KID'S ALL RIGHT. 245 00:10:22,793 --> 00:10:25,793 SURE THE KID'S ALL RIGHT. 246 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:26,620 >> OH, MY GOD! 247 00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:29,137 THE BABY! 248 00:10:29,137 --> 00:10:30,206 >> OH, HE'S OK. 249 00:10:30,206 --> 00:10:32,000 HE'S OK. 250 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,517 SORRY. 251 00:10:33,517 --> 00:10:36,241 SORRY. 252 00:10:44,275 --> 00:10:45,827 >> STEVE-O'S TOTALLY PASSED OUT 253 00:10:45,827 --> 00:10:49,896 NAKED IN MY ROOM. 254 00:10:49,896 --> 00:10:52,448 NAKED IN MY ROOM. 255 00:11:06,344 --> 00:11:07,965 >> HOW MANY POUNDS OF SQUID IS 256 00:11:07,965 --> 00:11:09,517 THIS? 257 00:11:09,517 --> 00:11:11,206 40 POUNDS OF SQUID? 258 00:11:11,206 --> 00:11:13,000 40 POUNDS OF WET SQUID. 259 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,586 WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PUT IT IN 260 00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:19,000 WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PUT IT IN COLD, WET WATER? 261 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:26,586 COLD, WET WATER? 262 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:27,344 THANKS. 263 00:11:27,344 --> 00:11:32,275 >> EVERYONE OUT OF THE SHOT. 264 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,517 >> EVERYONE OUT OF THE SHOT. KNATE, GET OUT OF THE SHOT. 265 00:11:34,517 --> 00:11:46,344 KNATE, GET OUT OF THE SHOT. 266 00:11:46,344 --> 00:11:48,517 KNATE, GET OUT OF THE SHOT. KNATE. 267 00:11:48,517 --> 00:11:53,724 KNATE. 268 00:11:53,724 --> 00:11:55,896 YOU BLOW EVERY ONE OF MY SHOTS. 269 00:11:57,310 --> 00:11:58,310 AMATEURS. 270 00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:00,206 AMATEURS. 271 00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:18,310 >> OH! 272 00:12:18,310 --> 00:12:21,448 >> OH! 273 00:12:21,448 --> 00:12:24,137 OH! 274 00:12:24,137 --> 00:12:26,206 OH! 275 00:12:39,034 --> 00:12:39,517 >> HELLO. 276 00:12:39,517 --> 00:12:42,379 THIS IS MY ROAD WIFE FOR TODAY, 277 00:12:42,379 --> 00:12:43,034 MISS KLEPPER. 278 00:12:43,034 --> 00:12:44,862 THIS IS OUR DARLING CHILD. 279 00:12:44,862 --> 00:12:46,379 DADDY AND BABY ARE GOING TO GO 280 00:12:46,379 --> 00:12:48,068 ON A LITTLE ADVENTURE. 281 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,000 OK. 282 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,793 OK. SO WE'LL DO THAT, THEN. 283 00:12:51,793 --> 00:12:58,758 SO WE'LL DO THAT, THEN. 284 00:12:58,758 --> 00:12:59,620 >> STOP! 285 00:12:59,620 --> 00:13:00,275 HEY! 286 00:13:00,275 --> 00:13:01,137 STOP YOUR CAR! 287 00:13:01,137 --> 00:13:01,758 >> WHAT? 288 00:13:01,758 --> 00:13:03,206 >> STOP! HEY! 289 00:13:03,206 --> 00:13:04,206 HEY! 290 00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:05,000 STOP! 291 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:09,620 >> HA HA HA! 292 00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:12,068 >> HA HA HA! ALL RIGHT, WE'LL SEE YOU. 293 00:13:12,068 --> 00:13:15,310 ALL RIGHT, WE'LL SEE YOU. 294 00:13:19,655 --> 00:13:23,689 HA HA. 295 00:13:23,689 --> 00:13:25,000 >> OH, MY GOD. 296 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,137 >> HEY! 297 00:13:26,137 --> 00:13:28,862 >> OH, MY GOD. 298 00:13:28,862 --> 00:13:31,275 >> OH, MY GOD. 299 00:13:41,758 --> 00:13:43,689 HA HA HA! 300 00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:45,586 HA HA HA! >> OK. 301 00:13:45,586 --> 00:13:49,034 >> OK. 302 00:13:49,034 --> 00:13:50,620 >> HEY! 303 00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:52,896 >> OH, MY GOD! 304 00:13:52,896 --> 00:13:53,482 >> HEY! 305 00:13:53,482 --> 00:13:54,758 >> OH, MY GOD. 306 00:13:54,758 --> 00:13:57,344 >> HEY! HEY! 307 00:13:57,344 --> 00:13:58,862 >> WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW? 308 00:13:58,862 --> 00:14:01,344 >> HEY! HEY! 309 00:14:01,344 --> 00:14:02,103 >> STOP THE CAR! 310 00:14:02,103 --> 00:14:04,620 >> YOU NEED TO STOP THE CAR! 311 00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,896 >> YOU NEED TO STOP THE CAR! >> OH, MY... 312 00:14:06,896 --> 00:14:09,137 >> OH, MY... 313 00:14:09,137 --> 00:14:12,275 >> OH, MY... OH, MY . 314 00:14:12,275 --> 00:14:16,034 OH, MY . 315 00:14:16,034 --> 00:14:18,137 OH, MY . 316 00:14:18,137 --> 00:14:21,310 BABY. 317 00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:23,379 OH, BABY. 318 00:14:23,379 --> 00:14:25,310 OH, BABY. 319 00:14:25,310 --> 00:14:26,620 OH, BABY. 320 00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:27,517 >> GO STRAIGHT--GO STRAIGHT 321 00:14:27,517 --> 00:14:29,137 THROUGH THE STOP SIGN. 322 00:14:29,137 --> 00:14:31,137 >> WAS THAT A GOOD ONE? 323 00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:31,896 >> YOU REALLY THINK THAT HE'S 324 00:14:31,896 --> 00:14:33,206 GOING TO THINK, "MAN, THAT MIGHT 325 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,827 BE AN AMPLIFIER UNDER THERE." 326 00:14:34,827 --> 00:14:35,965 HE'LL PROBABLY JUST THINK IT'S A 327 00:14:35,965 --> 00:14:36,586 PIECE OF FURNITURE. 328 00:14:36,586 --> 00:14:37,655 >> WELL, WHY DON'T YOU PUT THE 329 00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:38,862 AMPLIFIER OVER THERE? 330 00:14:38,862 --> 00:14:40,379 HE WOULDN'T THINK TWICE ABOUT 331 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:40,724 THAT. 332 00:14:40,724 --> 00:14:42,137 >> BECAUSE WE WANT TO ROCK HIM 333 00:14:42,137 --> 00:14:42,482 OUT. 334 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:43,620 >> I'VE GOT A BIG DAY TOMORROW. 335 00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:44,310 GOT A WEDDING TO DO. 336 00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:45,586 >> HE HAS A BIG DAY TOMORROW, 337 00:14:45,586 --> 00:14:45,896 TOO. 338 00:14:45,896 --> 00:14:47,517 >> HE'00. 339 00:14:47,517 --> 00:14:48,206 I KNOW. 340 00:14:48,206 --> 00:14:48,862 >> YEAH, SAME THING. 341 00:14:48,862 --> 00:14:50,172 HE'00. 342 00:14:50,172 --> 00:14:51,655 >> WELL, YOU BETTER TURN OUT ALL 343 00:14:51,655 --> 00:14:52,275 THE LIGHTS. 344 00:14:52,275 --> 00:14:54,068 THE LIGHTS. THAT'S A DEAD GIVEAWAY. 345 00:14:54,068 --> 00:15:08,034 THAT'S A DEAD GIVEAWAY. 346 00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:10,241 >> 1, 2, 3, YEAH! 347 00:15:10,241 --> 00:15:12,965 >> 1, 2, 3, YEAH! 348 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,862 AAH! 349 00:15:18,862 --> 00:15:52,724 AAH! 350 00:15:52,724 --> 00:15:53,896 >> I WANT TO THANK PHIL AND ED 351 00:15:53,896 --> 00:15:55,965 FOR COMING OUT, KEEPING THE 352 00:15:55,965 --> 00:15:57,448 SCENE ALIVE! 353 00:15:57,448 --> 00:15:58,413 >> YEAH! 354 00:15:58,413 --> 00:16:00,758 >> YEAH! 355 00:16:05,068 --> 00:16:08,275 >> ANDALE! 356 00:16:08,275 --> 00:16:09,413 WHOO! 357 00:16:09,413 --> 00:16:11,517 WHOO! WHOO! 358 00:16:11,517 --> 00:16:17,758 WHOO! 359 00:16:17,758 --> 00:16:19,689 WHOO! WHOO! 360 00:16:19,689 --> 00:16:24,586 WHOO! 361 00:16:24,586 --> 00:16:26,862 >> ACTION, ADRENALINE. 362 00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:28,482 ALL THINGS EXTREME. 363 00:16:28,482 --> 00:16:29,448 PUNCH IT, BABY! 364 00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:30,931 PUNCH IT! 365 00:16:30,931 --> 00:16:33,344 WHOO! 366 00:16:33,344 --> 00:16:34,344 COME ON! 367 00:16:34,344 --> 00:16:36,068 WHOO-HOO-HOO! 368 00:16:36,068 --> 00:16:37,448 YEAH! 369 00:16:37,448 --> 00:16:38,137 >> JASON, MAN, MEXICAN 370 00:16:38,137 --> 00:16:39,655 SNOWBOARDING IS NOT NORMALLY 371 00:16:39,655 --> 00:16:40,586 DONE ON THE KNEES. 372 00:16:40,586 --> 00:16:43,241 IT'S NORMALLY DONE SITTING DOWN. 373 00:16:43,241 --> 00:16:44,724 THIS IS A HYBRID STYLE. 374 00:16:44,724 --> 00:16:46,000 IT'S EXPERIMENTAL. 375 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,620 >> THIS IS MEXICAN SNOWBOARDING. 376 00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:51,517 WHOO! 377 00:16:54,655 --> 00:16:58,103 >> YOU'RE NOT EVEN MEXICAN. 378 00:16:58,103 --> 00:16:59,931 >> YOU'RE NOT EVEN MEXICAN. 379 00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:02,275 >> DUDES IN MEXICO. 380 00:17:02,275 --> 00:17:04,793 A BUNCH OF GUYS LOOKING FOR A 381 00:17:04,793 --> 00:17:07,000 THRILL. 382 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,137 >> HA HA. 383 00:17:10,137 --> 00:17:14,965 >> WHOO! 384 00:17:19,448 --> 00:17:20,793 >> I DON'T CALL THIS MEXICAN 385 00:17:20,793 --> 00:17:21,586 SNOWBOARDING. 386 00:17:21,586 --> 00:17:22,896 I CALL IT HOT 387 00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:25,724 I CALL IT HOT WATER-SKIING. 388 00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:28,275 WATER-SKIING. 389 00:17:28,275 --> 00:17:29,551 >> LOOKS LIKE WE MIGHT HAVE SOME 390 00:17:29,551 --> 00:17:32,827 FEDERALES. 391 00:17:32,827 --> 00:17:34,965 >> GO BACK TO AMERICA! 392 00:17:34,965 --> 00:17:36,758 >> THIS IS THE ORIGINAL MEXICAN 393 00:17:36,758 --> 00:17:37,206 SNOWBOARDING. 394 00:17:37,206 --> 00:17:38,413 THIS IS WHERE IT ALL ORIGINATED, 395 00:17:38,413 --> 00:17:39,172 BABY. 396 00:17:39,172 --> 00:17:40,896 >> LOS OSOS, MEXICO. 397 00:17:40,896 --> 00:17:45,000 VIVA LOS OSOS! 398 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,206 VIVA LOS OSOS! ARRIBE! 399 00:17:47,206 --> 00:17:57,827 ARRIBE! 400 00:17:59,931 --> 00:18:01,413 >> MEXICAN SNOWBOARDING IS NOT 401 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:02,689 FOR MACHO JERKS. 402 00:18:02,689 --> 00:18:05,586 IT'S 110% PURE ADRENALINE. 403 00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:08,275 IT'S 110% PURE ADRENALINE. ULTIMATE RUSH, ULTIMATE HIGH. 404 00:18:08,275 --> 00:18:17,137 ULTIMATE RUSH, ULTIMATE HIGH. 405 00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:19,482 ULTIMATE RUSH, ULTIMATE HIGH. >> 1, 2, 3, 4! 406 00:18:19,482 --> 00:18:28,103 >> 1, 2, 3, 4! 407 00:18:28,103 --> 00:18:29,344 >> EXCUSE ME, SIR? 408 00:18:29,344 --> 00:18:29,827 >> YES. 409 00:18:29,827 --> 00:18:31,931 >> UH, I NEED TO KNOW WHERE A 410 00:18:31,931 --> 00:18:32,793 HARDWARE STORE IS. 411 00:18:32,793 --> 00:18:36,379 I'M TRYING TO SCORE SOME ROPE. 412 00:18:36,379 --> 00:18:38,862 HOW ABOUT THE 5 SOUTH--YEAH. 413 00:18:38,862 --> 00:18:39,827 I'M GOING TO THE ANDREWS 414 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,551 NATIONAL FOREST. 415 00:18:45,862 --> 00:18:48,965 >> OOH. 416 00:18:48,965 --> 00:18:51,551 >> OOH. >> OH, MY GOD. 417 00:18:51,551 --> 00:18:55,068 >> OH, MY GOD. 418 00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:58,551 >> OH, MY GOD. >> HE GOT ANOTHER DUDE TIED UP! 419 00:18:58,551 --> 00:19:03,103 >> HE GOT ANOTHER DUDE TIED UP! 420 00:19:03,103 --> 00:19:07,172 >> JESUS LOVES YOU. 421 00:19:07,172 --> 00:19:08,275 HEY, BUDDY, YOU DOING ALL 422 00:19:08,275 --> 00:19:10,103 HEY, BUDDY, YOU DOING ALL RIGHT BACK THERE? 423 00:19:10,103 --> 00:19:12,793 RIGHT BACK THERE? 424 00:19:12,793 --> 00:19:13,586 >> CAN I HELP YOU? 425 00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:14,862 >> I NEED A HARDWARE STORE. 426 00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,275 DO YOU KNOW WHERE A HARDWARE 427 00:19:16,275 --> 00:19:16,758 STORE IS? 428 00:19:16,758 --> 00:19:17,827 >> DOWN HERE TO THE RIGHT. 429 00:19:18,655 --> 00:19:19,724 >> DO YOU HAVE ANY INDUSTRIAL 430 00:19:19,724 --> 00:19:21,137 STRENGTH ADHESIVES? 431 00:19:21,137 --> 00:19:22,206 >> SOMEONE IS IN HERE. 432 00:19:22,206 --> 00:19:23,551 >> YEAH, I THINK MY CAR IS 433 00:19:23,551 --> 00:19:24,068 RATTLING. 434 00:19:24,068 --> 00:19:25,068 >> SOMEONE IS IN THE TRUNK. 435 00:19:25,068 --> 00:19:26,034 SOMEONE IS IN HERE. 436 00:19:27,517 --> 00:19:29,448 >> AY AY AY! 437 00:19:29,448 --> 00:19:31,137 WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? 438 00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:32,379 WHAT IS THIS? 439 00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:34,103 WHAT IS THIS? 440 00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:39,275 >> LATER, DUDE. 441 00:19:39,275 --> 00:19:41,172 >> YOUR SEXINESS JUST SCARES 442 00:19:41,172 --> 00:19:42,241 PEOPLE. 443 00:19:42,241 --> 00:19:43,931 >> FROM MY EXPERIMENTS WITH 444 00:19:43,931 --> 00:19:46,586 SEXINESS, IT SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF 445 00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,034 PEOPLE ARE AFRAID AT FIRST, AND 446 00:19:48,034 --> 00:19:50,068 FEAR USUALLY EQUALS VIOLENCE, 447 00:19:50,068 --> 00:19:51,551 BUT EVENTUALLY I'LL WIN THEIR 448 00:19:51,551 --> 00:19:53,172 HEARTS, AND INSTEAD OF FIGHTING, 449 00:19:53,172 --> 00:19:55,275 THEY'LL WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO ME. 450 00:19:55,275 --> 00:19:56,482 >> EVEN THE MEN? 451 00:19:56,482 --> 00:19:57,000 >> YEAH. 452 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,206 >> YOU GETTING HOT BACK THERE, 453 00:19:58,206 --> 00:20:02,344 BUDDY? 454 00:20:02,344 --> 00:20:02,896 >> EXCUSE ME, SIR. 455 00:20:02,896 --> 00:20:03,827 I HAVE A FULL-GROWN SEMI-NUDE 456 00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:05,103 MAN BOUND WITH DUCT TAPE IN MY 457 00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:06,517 TRUNK, AND I WAS TRYING TO GET 458 00:20:06,517 --> 00:20:08,793 OUT TO THE DESERT TO BURY HIM. 459 00:20:08,793 --> 00:20:10,413 HOW DO I HIT THE 5 SOUTH? 460 00:20:10,413 --> 00:20:12,000 >> HOLD ON. 461 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,758 >> OH, MY GOSH. 462 00:20:19,931 --> 00:20:22,862 I'M BOUNDED NO MORE! 463 00:20:22,862 --> 00:20:25,758 I'M BOUNDED BY YOU! 464 00:20:33,931 --> 00:20:35,448 >> ANYONE HAVE A PENCIL OR A 465 00:20:35,448 --> 00:20:38,482 PEN? 466 00:20:38,482 --> 00:20:39,689 >> NO. 467 00:20:39,689 --> 00:20:41,206 >> HOW ABOUT A CRAYON? 468 00:20:41,206 --> 00:20:42,655 I HOPE I MEET YOU SOME OTHER 469 00:20:42,655 --> 00:20:43,137 PLACE. 470 00:20:43,137 --> 00:20:44,034 YOU LOOK GREAT TODAY. 471 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:44,620 >> OH, YEAH? 472 00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:45,448 >> SAY, "WELCOME TO JACKASS." 473 00:20:45,448 --> 00:20:46,172 >> TAKE THIS PAPER WITH YOU. 474 00:20:46,172 --> 00:20:47,965 IF YOU FIND A PEN, PUT YOUR 475 00:20:47,965 --> 00:20:49,620 AUTOGRAPH ON IT FOR ME, WOULD 476 00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:49,931 YOU? 477 00:20:49,931 --> 00:20:50,724 >> I THINK THIS GUY'S A LITTLE 478 00:20:50,724 --> 00:20:52,103 ATTRACTED TO ME. 479 00:20:52,103 --> 00:20:52,758 >> A LITTLE? 480 00:20:52,758 --> 00:20:53,413 >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 481 00:20:53,413 --> 00:20:54,275 >> NOW SAY IT. READY? 482 00:20:54,275 --> 00:20:54,965 1, 2, 3. 483 00:20:54,965 --> 00:20:56,068 WELCOME TO JACKASS. 484 00:20:56,068 --> 00:20:58,241 >> WELCOME TO JACKASS. 485 00:20:58,241 --> 00:20:59,689 >> WHITE STUFF ON THE BACK OF 486 00:20:59,689 --> 00:21:03,068 YOUR NECK. 487 00:21:03,068 --> 00:21:04,206 >> SOME JUICE. 488 00:21:04,206 --> 00:21:06,758 >> SOME JUICE. >> HA HA HA! 489 00:21:06,758 --> 00:21:18,827 >> HA HA HA! 490 00:21:18,827 --> 00:21:21,413 >> HA HA HA!