1
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>> HI.

2
00:00:20,137 --> 00:00:21,896
I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE.

3
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I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE.
WELCOME TO "JACKASS."

4
00:00:24,689 --> 00:00:48,275
WELCOME TO "JACKASS."

5
00:00:48,275 --> 00:00:50,275
WELCOME TO "JACKASS."
>> COME WASH MY BACK!

6
00:00:50,275 --> 00:00:53,275
>> COME WASH MY BACK!

7
00:00:53,275 --> 00:00:53,827
>> HELLO.

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00:00:53,827 --> 00:00:54,862
I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE, AND I'M

9
00:00:54,862 --> 00:00:56,931
HERE IN LOVELY SHIPESHIRE, AND I

10
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SHALL NOW LIKE TO GET SHOT--OK.

11
00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,241
HOW YOU PRONOUNCE IT,

12
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SHARPSHIRE?

13
00:01:01,379 --> 00:01:02,275
>> SHROPSHIRE.

14
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>> SHARPSHIRE.

15
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>> SHROP.

16
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>> SHROPSHIRE.

17
00:01:05,137 --> 00:01:06,862
OK, OK, HERE WE GO.

18
00:01:06,862 --> 00:01:08,034
HELLO, I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE, AND

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I'M HERE IN LOVELY SHROPSHIRE,

20
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AND I SHALL NOW LIKE TO GET SHOT

21
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WITH A CROSSBOW.

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WITH A CROSSBOW.
IVAN.

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IVAN.

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>> THAT'S IT.

25
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>> YOU LIKE THAT KIND OF THING.

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00:01:26,172 --> 00:01:27,206
>> THANK YOU.

27
00:01:27,206 --> 00:01:28,586
>> THANK YOU.
>> WELL DONE.

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>> WELL DONE.

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>> WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SIR?

30
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>> NIKADA.

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>> NIKADA?

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JOHNNY.

33
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>> OK, JOHNNY.

34
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I HAVE THE KEY TO HOW TO DO THE

35
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BASICS.

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00:01:37,551 --> 00:01:39,586
I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE HURT.

37
00:01:39,586 --> 00:01:40,000
>> RIGHT.

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>> YOU USE YOUR FOREHEAD TO HIT

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00:01:42,034 --> 00:01:43,310
YOUR OPPONENTS.

40
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H'YAH.

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>> RIGHT.

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00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:45,655
>> BEND DOWN.

43
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>> WHAT'S YOUR BEST FACE WHEN

44
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YOU FIGHT?

45
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WHAT'S YOUR BEST FACE YOU CAN

46
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MAKE?

47
00:01:49,068 --> 00:01:50,931
>> I CAN DO LIKE A MIKE TYSON

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FACE.

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H'YAH!

50
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>> H'YAH!

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00:01:53,965 --> 00:01:56,068
>> ALSO, THIS IS MORE LIKE

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GIVING THEM A KEY.

53
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MORE MOTIVATION.

54
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>> OH, YOU GOT TO HIT HIM WITH

55
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THIS THING?

56
00:01:59,827 --> 00:02:01,275
>> BECAUSE IT'S THE SOUNDS, SEE?

57
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YOU KNOW, IF YOU MOVE IT, YOU

58
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YOU KNOW, IF YOU MOVE IT, YOU
ARE DEAD.

59
00:02:04,931 --> 00:02:09,034
ARE DEAD.

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ARE DEAD.
[NIKADA SPEAKING JAPANESE]

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[NIKADA SPEAKING JAPANESE]

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00:02:16,931 --> 00:02:18,000
>> I CAN'T DO IT.

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>> OK.

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>> MY GARBAGE WILL FALL OUT IF I

65
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>> MY GARBAGE WILL FALL OUT IF I
GET ANY LOWER.

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00:02:21,482 --> 00:02:35,724
GET ANY LOWER.

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00:02:35,724 --> 00:02:36,931
>> HI. I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE.

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>> HI. I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE.
THIS IS SUMO WRESTLING.

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THIS IS SUMO WRESTLING.

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[GRUNTING]

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>> NO, NO.

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>> MAN, THIS THING IS HOT.

73
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>> AFTER TRAINING, NO

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COMPLAINING.

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>> OW!

76
00:02:53,724 --> 00:02:55,241
THIS IS GREAT.

77
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I LOVE IT!

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[GRUNTING]

79
00:03:03,034 --> 00:03:03,931
>> DON'T YOU NEED TO HIT HIM

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00:03:03,931 --> 00:03:04,827
WITH THE STICK, THOUGH?

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HE FELL DOWN.

82
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>> YES.

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>> LOOK TOUGH.

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>> AAH!

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>> UHH!

86
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>> ALL RIGHT.

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>> AAH!

88
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AAH!

89
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AAH!
[GRUNTING]

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[GRUNTING]

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00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:33,068
>> JOHNNY, FRONT.

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>> FRONT?

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>> FRONT, YEP.

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[GROAN]

95
00:03:38,655 --> 00:03:40,448
>> DOES SUMO GET A LOT OF WOMEN?

96
00:03:40,448 --> 00:03:41,206
>> OF COURSE.

97
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>> THEIR PENIS SUPPOSED TO BE

98
00:03:42,551 --> 00:03:43,827
LIKE A ROUND THING.

99
00:03:43,827 --> 00:03:45,034
>> LIKE A PRINGLES CAN?

100
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>> YES.

101
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:46,965
>> CAN A SUMO WRESTLER BE ON

102
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:47,448
TOP?

103
00:03:47,448 --> 00:03:48,689
>> NO. USUALLY THEY ARE ON THE

104
00:03:48,689 --> 00:03:50,206
BOTTOM BECAUSE OTHERWISE THEY

105
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ARE 500 POUNDS, WILL SQUASH

106
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THEM.

107
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THEY ARE LIKE RIDING A HORSE.

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>> RIGHT.

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00:03:56,379 --> 00:03:59,206
>> I HAVE MY FUJI IN MY PANTS.

110
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>> I HAVE MY FUJI IN MY PANTS.
YOU CAN BE ON TOP.

111
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,793
YOU CAN BE ON TOP.

112
00:04:04,793 --> 00:04:07,241
YOU CAN BE ON TOP.
>> DUDE, CHECK IT OUT.

113
00:04:07,241 --> 00:04:09,275
>> DUDE, CHECK IT OUT.

114
00:04:09,275 --> 00:04:12,931
>> DUDE, CHECK IT OUT.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

115
00:04:12,931 --> 00:04:41,103
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

116
00:04:41,103 --> 00:04:41,620
>> SORRY, DUDE.

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I GOT A BIT TOO CARRIED AWAY ON

118
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THE GUITAR SOLO.

119
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LET ME SEE YOUR HEAD.

120
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LET ME SEE YOUR HEAD.
>> YOU DID THAT.

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00:04:48,758 --> 00:05:20,103
>> YOU DID THAT.

122
00:05:20,103 --> 00:05:23,310
>> YOU DID THAT.
>> I LIKE YOUR PINK UNDERWEAR.

123
00:05:23,310 --> 00:05:37,758
>> I LIKE YOUR PINK UNDERWEAR.

124
00:05:37,758 --> 00:05:38,965
>> YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LEAVE

125
00:05:38,965 --> 00:05:40,620
MY DRIVE-THROUGH NOW.

126
00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:41,620
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO ACT LIKE

127
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YOU'RE NOT GOING TO ACT LIKE
THIS INSIDE, GUYS.

128
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:55,000
THIS INSIDE, GUYS.

129
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,000
>> ♪ NOW WE'RE GETTIN'

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A LITTLE DRUNK

131
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WITH ALL THIS FUNK REALITY

132
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WE DECIDED TO COME TO THE PARTY

133
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AND ROCK THE HOUSE ♪

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>> OOH!

135
00:06:03,172 --> 00:06:04,586
>> ♪ ENOUGH TO TURN IT OUT

136
00:06:04,586 --> 00:06:05,827
SOME FUNKY, FRESH ROOM

137
00:06:05,827 --> 00:06:06,689
AND TAKE IT FROM ME

138
00:06:06,689 --> 00:06:08,034
LISTEN TO THE FIFTH SIDE

139
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,034
FOR THE DISCO TREAT

140
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FOR THE DISCO TREAT
[HORN HONKS]

141
00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:22,241
[HORN HONKS]

142
00:06:22,241 --> 00:06:25,344
>> YOU CANNOT--

143
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:26,413
[INDISTINCT]

144
00:06:26,413 --> 00:06:27,689
THE HUMAN BEAT BOX

145
00:06:27,689 --> 00:06:28,482
IS ROCKIN' WITH ME

146
00:06:28,482 --> 00:06:31,206
1,000 POUNDS PUT ALL TOGETHER

147
00:06:31,206 --> 00:06:32,482
WE'RE DISCO BROTHERS

148
00:06:32,482 --> 00:06:33,275
TO LAST FOREVER

149
00:06:33,275 --> 00:06:34,517
AND THEN WE HEAD TO THE BOOM

150
00:06:34,517 --> 00:06:35,310
YOU KNOW THE CROWD

151
00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:36,000
STARTS BREAKIN'

152
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,172
THE CROWD STARTS BREAKIN'

153
00:06:37,172 --> 00:06:38,034
AND THE FUN STARTS SHAKIN'

154
00:06:38,034 --> 00:06:39,517
TO THE FUNKY RHYTHM

155
00:06:39,517 --> 00:06:40,655
AND WE GO FAST

156
00:06:40,655 --> 00:06:41,758
TO HAVE THE FRESH MOVE

157
00:06:41,758 --> 00:06:43,310
IN THIS VISIBLE RAP

158
00:06:43,310 --> 00:06:44,586
YOU TAKE ME OUT

159
00:06:44,586 --> 00:06:47,172
BUT YOU CAN CALL ME THE PRINCE

160
00:06:47,172 --> 00:06:49,000
[HORN HONKS]

161
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,310
I SEE YOU'RE OVER 8

162
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:51,448
THAT'S GREAT

163
00:06:51,448 --> 00:06:52,620
YEAH, I'M OVERWEIGHT

164
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:53,793
BUT IT AIN'T NO THING

165
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'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS FRESH

166
00:06:55,068 --> 00:06:56,655
AND GUARANTEED TO PASS

167
00:06:56,655 --> 00:06:58,172
ANY EMCEE CONTEST

168
00:06:58,172 --> 00:06:59,655
LIKE EMINEM'S CADDIE...

169
00:06:59,655 --> 00:07:00,379
[LAUGHING]

170
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:02,000
TO BE A REAL LIVE LOVER

171
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,344
IS WHERE I STAND...

172
00:07:04,344 --> 00:07:05,620
[LAUGHING]

173
00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:06,689
BUT LISTEN TO THE WORDS

174
00:07:06,689 --> 00:07:08,448
AS I TELL MY STORY...

175
00:07:08,448 --> 00:07:09,000
[LAUGHING]

176
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,034
WHEN I WAS VERY SMALL

177
00:07:10,034 --> 00:07:11,448
I HAD THE BIRTHDAY CAKE

178
00:07:11,448 --> 00:07:12,758
PLATE, CANDLES AND ALL

179
00:07:12,758 --> 00:07:13,689
FOR BREAKFAST, IT WAS

180
00:07:13,689 --> 00:07:18,758
TO GET 5 POUNDS OF BACON ♪

181
00:07:18,758 --> 00:07:20,103
[LAUGHING]

182
00:07:20,103 --> 00:07:23,965
>> ♪FAT BOYS

183
00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:25,689
>> JESUS DID NOT INVENT THE

184
00:07:25,689 --> 00:07:27,000
CIRCUMCISION.

185
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,034
CIRCUMCISION.
I DID--THE DEVIL HIMSELF.

186
00:07:30,034 --> 00:07:42,275
I DID--THE DEVIL HIMSELF.

187
00:07:42,275 --> 00:07:46,689
>> MY NAME'S SATAN, AND, UM,

188
00:07:46,689 --> 00:07:48,551
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M DOING

189
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:48,965
HERE.

190
00:07:48,965 --> 00:07:50,000
I SHOULD HAVE STAYED DOWN IN

191
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,758
HELL WHERE I BELONGED.

192
00:07:52,758 --> 00:07:55,000
>> WHERE ARE YOU NOW, SATAN?

193
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,241
>> I'M IN CALIFORNIA, AND

194
00:07:57,241 --> 00:07:58,551
THERE'S A BIG PROBLEM WITH GOD

195
00:07:58,551 --> 00:08:00,103
HERE IN CALIFORNIA.

196
00:08:00,103 --> 00:08:01,241
HE'S EVERYWHERE.

197
00:08:01,241 --> 00:08:03,103
[PLAYING MUSICAL VERSION

198
00:08:03,103 --> 00:08:05,793
[PLAYING MUSICAL VERSION
OF "WHAT IF GOD WAS ONE OF US?"]

199
00:08:05,793 --> 00:08:09,482
OF "WHAT IF GOD WAS ONE OF US?"]

200
00:08:09,482 --> 00:08:11,689
KEEP GOD OUT OF CALIFORNIA.

201
00:08:11,689 --> 00:08:13,275
FIRE DOESN'T BURN IF YOU'RE

202
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:14,413
ALREADY DEAD.

203
00:08:14,413 --> 00:08:16,482
DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE.

204
00:08:16,482 --> 00:08:17,586
THEY'RE LIARS.

205
00:08:17,586 --> 00:08:18,517
YOU MIGHT KNOW OF ME FROM THAT

206
00:08:18,517 --> 00:08:20,344
BOOK THAT YOU READ, BUT THOSE

207
00:08:20,344 --> 00:08:21,517
THINGS THAT WERE WRITTEN ABOUT

208
00:08:21,517 --> 00:08:23,793
ME AREN'T TRUE.

209
00:08:23,793 --> 00:08:25,620
FOR ONE THING, GOD DIDN'T INVENT

210
00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,137
CIRCUMCISIONS.

211
00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:27,793
I DID.

212
00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:29,965
KEEP GOD OUT OF CALIFORNIA!

213
00:08:29,965 --> 00:08:31,586
I'M NOT A BAD GUY!

214
00:08:31,586 --> 00:08:33,103
ALL THAT STUFF THAT THEY WROTE

215
00:08:33,103 --> 00:08:35,310
ABOUT ME WAS A LIE!

216
00:08:35,310 --> 00:08:36,551
DON'T HATE THE PLAYER!

217
00:08:36,551 --> 00:08:37,827
HATE THE GAME!

218
00:08:37,827 --> 00:08:39,655
I'M ACTUALLY A PRETTY NICE GUY

219
00:08:39,655 --> 00:08:40,827
IF YOU GET TO KNOW ME!

220
00:08:40,827 --> 00:08:42,000
>> GOD BLESS YOU.

221
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,275
>> GOD DIDN'T BLESS ME.

222
00:08:43,275 --> 00:08:45,241
HE WROTE A BUNCH OF FIBS ABOUT

223
00:08:45,241 --> 00:08:45,551
ME.

224
00:08:45,551 --> 00:08:46,793
>> [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

225
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,172
HA HA HA!

226
00:08:48,172 --> 00:08:49,551
>> HI, GIRLS.

227
00:08:49,551 --> 00:08:50,206
I'M THE DEVIL.

228
00:08:50,206 --> 00:08:52,103
>> ARE YOU BEING SARCASTIC?

229
00:08:52,103 --> 00:08:52,896
>> THEY THREW ME FROM HEAVEN

230
00:08:52,896 --> 00:08:54,344
BECAUSE THEY WERE JEALOUS THAT I

231
00:08:54,344 --> 00:08:56,172
INVENTED THE CIRCUMCISION.

232
00:08:56,172 --> 00:08:57,655
GOD WAS SPYING ON ME WHILE I WAS

233
00:08:57,655 --> 00:09:00,275
IN THE BATHROOM, AND HE TOOK THE

234
00:09:00,275 --> 00:09:00,827
IDEA FROM ME.

235
00:09:00,827 --> 00:09:01,551
IF YOU READ IT--YOU CAN READ

236
00:09:01,551 --> 00:09:03,724
ABOUT IT, GENESIS 18, BUT IT'S A

237
00:09:03,724 --> 00:09:05,344
COMPLETE LIE, SO I'M JUST HERE

238
00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:07,758
TO CLEAR MY NAME.

239
00:09:07,758 --> 00:09:10,620
I'M A NICE MAN!

240
00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:11,517
>> [BEEP]

241
00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:12,827
>> I'M A NICE MAN, SIR.

242
00:09:12,827 --> 00:09:14,034
>> [BEEP] RIGHT HERE.

243
00:09:14,034 --> 00:09:14,620
[BEEPING]

244
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:15,103
>> I CAME HERE--

245
00:09:15,103 --> 00:09:15,931
>> GET THE [BEEP] OUT OF MY

246
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:16,827
[BEEP] SIGHT, DUDE.

247
00:09:16,827 --> 00:09:17,413
>> I CAME HERE--

248
00:09:17,413 --> 00:09:18,344
>> GET THE [BEEP] OUT OF MY

249
00:09:18,344 --> 00:09:19,724
[BEEP] SIGHT.

250
00:09:19,724 --> 00:09:20,241
[BEEP]

251
00:09:20,241 --> 00:09:21,896
>> THAT'S NOT CHRISTIAN.

252
00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:23,655
PSYCHO!

253
00:09:23,655 --> 00:09:25,758
PSYCHO!
[LAUGHTER]

254
00:09:25,758 --> 00:09:41,413
[LAUGHTER]

255
00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:43,517
[LAUGHTER]
[RING RING]

256
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:49,241
[RING RING]

257
00:09:49,241 --> 00:09:51,482
HOLY COW!

258
00:09:51,482 --> 00:09:54,068
>> OH!

259
00:09:54,068 --> 00:09:54,862
>> HE'S OK.

260
00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:55,862
HE'S OK.

261
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:59,137
HE'S OK.

262
00:09:59,137 --> 00:10:00,137
>> AAH!

263
00:10:00,137 --> 00:10:01,793
>> DUDE!

264
00:10:01,793 --> 00:10:05,241
[BABY LAUGHING]

265
00:10:05,241 --> 00:10:08,620
[BABY LAUGHING]
[DOG BARKING]

266
00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:15,103
[DOG BARKING]

267
00:10:15,103 --> 00:10:15,586
>> OH, MAN.

268
00:10:15,586 --> 00:10:17,275
>> OH, IS THAT BABY ALL RIGHT?

269
00:10:17,275 --> 00:10:18,379
>> SOMEONE NEEDS TO CHECK OUT

270
00:10:18,379 --> 00:10:19,655
THE KID ON THAT BIKE AND MAKE

271
00:10:19,655 --> 00:10:22,793
THE KID ON THAT BIKE AND MAKE
SURE THE KID'S ALL RIGHT.

272
00:10:22,793 --> 00:10:25,793
SURE THE KID'S ALL RIGHT.

273
00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:26,620
>> OH, MY GOD!

274
00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:29,137
THE BABY!

275
00:10:29,137 --> 00:10:30,206
>> OH, HE'S OK.

276
00:10:30,206 --> 00:10:32,000
HE'S OK.

277
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,517
SORRY.

278
00:10:33,517 --> 00:10:36,241
SORRY.
[BABY CRYING]

279
00:10:36,241 --> 00:10:41,413
[BABY CRYING]

280
00:10:41,413 --> 00:10:44,275
[RING RING]

281
00:10:44,275 --> 00:10:45,827
>> STEVE-O'S TOTALLY PASSED OUT

282
00:10:45,827 --> 00:10:49,896
NAKED IN MY ROOM.

283
00:10:49,896 --> 00:10:52,448
NAKED IN MY ROOM.
[SNORING]

284
00:10:52,448 --> 00:10:54,206
[SNORING]

285
00:10:54,206 --> 00:10:58,620
[SNORING]
[LAUGHING]

286
00:10:58,620 --> 00:11:06,344
[LAUGHING]

287
00:11:06,344 --> 00:11:07,965
>> HOW MANY POUNDS OF SQUID IS

288
00:11:07,965 --> 00:11:09,517
THIS?

289
00:11:09,517 --> 00:11:11,206
40 POUNDS OF SQUID?

290
00:11:11,206 --> 00:11:13,000
40 POUNDS OF WET SQUID.

291
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,586
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PUT IT IN

292
00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:19,000
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PUT IT IN
COLD, WET WATER?

293
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:26,586
COLD, WET WATER?

294
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:27,344
THANKS.

295
00:11:27,344 --> 00:11:32,275
>> EVERYONE OUT OF THE SHOT.

296
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,517
>> EVERYONE OUT OF THE SHOT.
KNATE, GET OUT OF THE SHOT.

297
00:11:34,517 --> 00:11:46,344
KNATE, GET OUT OF THE SHOT.

298
00:11:46,344 --> 00:11:48,517
KNATE, GET OUT OF THE SHOT.
KNATE.

299
00:11:48,517 --> 00:11:53,724
KNATE.

300
00:11:53,724 --> 00:11:55,896
YOU BLOW EVERY ONE OF MY SHOTS.

301
00:11:55,896 --> 00:11:57,310
[BEEP]

302
00:11:57,310 --> 00:11:58,310
AMATEURS.

303
00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:00,206
AMATEURS.
[BEEP]

304
00:12:00,206 --> 00:12:16,620
[BEEP]

305
00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:18,310
[BEEP]
>> OH!

306
00:12:18,310 --> 00:12:21,448
>> OH!

307
00:12:21,448 --> 00:12:24,137
OH!

308
00:12:24,137 --> 00:12:26,206
OH!
[YELLING]

309
00:12:26,206 --> 00:12:39,034
[YELLING]

310
00:12:39,034 --> 00:12:39,517
>> HELLO.

311
00:12:39,517 --> 00:12:42,379
THIS IS MY ROAD WIFE FOR TODAY,

312
00:12:42,379 --> 00:12:43,034
MISS KLEPPER.

313
00:12:43,034 --> 00:12:44,862
THIS IS OUR DARLING CHILD.

314
00:12:44,862 --> 00:12:46,379
DADDY AND BABY ARE GOING TO GO

315
00:12:46,379 --> 00:12:48,068
ON A LITTLE ADVENTURE.

316
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,000
OK.

317
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,793
OK.
SO WE'LL DO THAT, THEN.

318
00:12:51,793 --> 00:12:58,758
SO WE'LL DO THAT, THEN.

319
00:12:58,758 --> 00:12:59,620
>> STOP!

320
00:12:59,620 --> 00:13:00,275
HEY!

321
00:13:00,275 --> 00:13:01,137
STOP YOUR CAR!

322
00:13:01,137 --> 00:13:01,758
>> WHAT?

323
00:13:01,758 --> 00:13:03,206
>> STOP! HEY!

324
00:13:03,206 --> 00:13:04,206
HEY!

325
00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:05,000
STOP!

326
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:09,620
>> HA HA HA!

327
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:12,068
>> HA HA HA!
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL SEE YOU.

328
00:13:12,068 --> 00:13:15,310
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL SEE YOU.

329
00:13:15,310 --> 00:13:19,655
[ENGINE STARTS]

330
00:13:19,655 --> 00:13:23,689
HA HA.

331
00:13:23,689 --> 00:13:25,000
>> OH, MY GOD.

332
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,137
>> HEY!

333
00:13:26,137 --> 00:13:28,862
>> OH, MY GOD.

334
00:13:28,862 --> 00:13:31,275
>> OH, MY GOD.
[HORN HONKS]

335
00:13:31,275 --> 00:13:34,137
[HORN HONKS]

336
00:13:34,137 --> 00:13:37,000
[HORN HONKS]
[SOBBING]

337
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:41,758
[SOBBING]

338
00:13:41,758 --> 00:13:43,689
HA HA HA!

339
00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:45,586
HA HA HA!
>> OK.

340
00:13:45,586 --> 00:13:49,034
>> OK.

341
00:13:49,034 --> 00:13:50,620
>> HEY!

342
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:52,896
>> OH, MY GOD!

343
00:13:52,896 --> 00:13:53,482
>> HEY!

344
00:13:53,482 --> 00:13:54,758
>> OH, MY GOD.

345
00:13:54,758 --> 00:13:57,344
>> HEY! HEY!

346
00:13:57,344 --> 00:13:58,862
>> WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW?

347
00:13:58,862 --> 00:14:01,344
>> HEY! HEY!

348
00:14:01,344 --> 00:14:02,103
>> STOP THE CAR!

349
00:14:02,103 --> 00:14:04,620
>> YOU NEED TO STOP THE CAR!

350
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,896
>> YOU NEED TO STOP THE CAR!
>> OH, MY...

351
00:14:06,896 --> 00:14:09,137
>> OH, MY...

352
00:14:09,137 --> 00:14:12,275
>> OH, MY...
OH, MY [BEEP].

353
00:14:12,275 --> 00:14:16,034
OH, MY [BEEP].

354
00:14:16,034 --> 00:14:18,137
OH, MY [BEEP].

355
00:14:18,137 --> 00:14:21,310
BABY.

356
00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:23,379
OH, BABY.

357
00:14:23,379 --> 00:14:25,310
OH, BABY.

358
00:14:25,310 --> 00:14:26,620
OH, BABY.

359
00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:27,517
>> GO STRAIGHT--GO STRAIGHT

360
00:14:27,517 --> 00:14:29,137
THROUGH THE STOP SIGN.

361
00:14:29,137 --> 00:14:31,137
>> WAS THAT A GOOD ONE?

362
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:31,896
>> YOU REALLY THINK THAT HE'S

363
00:14:31,896 --> 00:14:33,206
GOING TO THINK, "MAN, THAT MIGHT

364
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,827
BE AN AMPLIFIER UNDER THERE."

365
00:14:34,827 --> 00:14:35,965
HE'LL PROBABLY JUST THINK IT'S A

366
00:14:35,965 --> 00:14:36,586
PIECE OF FURNITURE.

367
00:14:36,586 --> 00:14:37,655
>> WELL, WHY DON'T YOU PUT THE

368
00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:38,862
AMPLIFIER OVER THERE?

369
00:14:38,862 --> 00:14:40,379
HE WOULDN'T THINK TWICE ABOUT

370
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:40,724
THAT.

371
00:14:40,724 --> 00:14:42,137
>> BECAUSE WE WANT TO ROCK HIM

372
00:14:42,137 --> 00:14:42,482
OUT.

373
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:43,620
>> I'VE GOT A BIG DAY TOMORROW.

374
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:44,310
GOT A WEDDING TO DO.

375
00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:45,586
>> HE HAS A BIG DAY TOMORROW,

376
00:14:45,586 --> 00:14:45,896
TOO.

377
00:14:45,896 --> 00:14:47,517
>> HE'S GOT TO GET UP AT 6:00.

378
00:14:47,517 --> 00:14:48,206
I KNOW.

379
00:14:48,206 --> 00:14:48,862
>> YEAH, SAME THING.

380
00:14:48,862 --> 00:14:50,172
HE'S GOT TO GET UP AT 6:00.

381
00:14:50,172 --> 00:14:51,655
>> WELL, YOU BETTER TURN OUT ALL

382
00:14:51,655 --> 00:14:52,275
THE LIGHTS.

383
00:14:52,275 --> 00:14:54,068
THE LIGHTS.
THAT'S A DEAD GIVEAWAY.

384
00:14:54,068 --> 00:15:08,034
THAT'S A DEAD GIVEAWAY.

385
00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:10,241
>> 1, 2, 3, YEAH!

386
00:15:10,241 --> 00:15:12,965
>> 1, 2, 3, YEAH!
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

387
00:15:12,965 --> 00:15:17,000
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

388
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,862
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
AAH!

389
00:15:18,862 --> 00:15:52,724
AAH!

390
00:15:52,724 --> 00:15:53,896
>> I WANT TO THANK PHIL AND ED

391
00:15:53,896 --> 00:15:55,965
FOR COMING OUT, KEEPING THE

392
00:15:55,965 --> 00:15:57,448
SCENE ALIVE!

393
00:15:57,448 --> 00:15:58,413
>> YEAH!

394
00:15:58,413 --> 00:16:00,758
>> YEAH!
[GRUNTING]

395
00:16:00,758 --> 00:16:05,068
[GRUNTING]

396
00:16:05,068 --> 00:16:08,275
>> ANDALE!

397
00:16:08,275 --> 00:16:09,413
WHOO!

398
00:16:09,413 --> 00:16:11,517
WHOO!
WHOO!

399
00:16:11,517 --> 00:16:17,758
WHOO!

400
00:16:17,758 --> 00:16:19,689
WHOO!
WHOO!

401
00:16:19,689 --> 00:16:24,586
WHOO!

402
00:16:24,586 --> 00:16:26,862
>> ACTION, ADRENALINE.

403
00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:28,482
ALL THINGS EXTREME.

404
00:16:28,482 --> 00:16:29,448
PUNCH IT, BABY!

405
00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:30,931
PUNCH IT!

406
00:16:30,931 --> 00:16:33,344
WHOO!

407
00:16:33,344 --> 00:16:34,344
COME ON!

408
00:16:34,344 --> 00:16:36,068
WHOO-HOO-HOO!

409
00:16:36,068 --> 00:16:37,448
YEAH!

410
00:16:37,448 --> 00:16:38,137
>> JASON, MAN, MEXICAN

411
00:16:38,137 --> 00:16:39,655
SNOWBOARDING IS NOT NORMALLY

412
00:16:39,655 --> 00:16:40,586
DONE ON THE KNEES.

413
00:16:40,586 --> 00:16:43,241
IT'S NORMALLY DONE SITTING DOWN.

414
00:16:43,241 --> 00:16:44,724
THIS IS A HYBRID STYLE.

415
00:16:44,724 --> 00:16:46,000
IT'S EXPERIMENTAL.

416
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,620
>> THIS IS MEXICAN SNOWBOARDING.

417
00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:51,517
WHOO!

418
00:16:51,517 --> 00:16:54,655
[LAUGHTER]

419
00:16:54,655 --> 00:16:58,103
[LAUGHTER]
>> YOU'RE NOT EVEN MEXICAN.

420
00:16:58,103 --> 00:16:59,931
>> YOU'RE NOT EVEN MEXICAN.

421
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:02,275
>> DUDES IN MEXICO.

422
00:17:02,275 --> 00:17:04,793
A BUNCH OF GUYS LOOKING FOR A

423
00:17:04,793 --> 00:17:07,000
THRILL.

424
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,137
>> HA HA.

425
00:17:10,137 --> 00:17:14,965
>> WHOO!

426
00:17:14,965 --> 00:17:19,448
[MUMBLING]

427
00:17:19,448 --> 00:17:20,793
>> I DON'T CALL THIS MEXICAN

428
00:17:20,793 --> 00:17:21,586
SNOWBOARDING.

429
00:17:21,586 --> 00:17:22,896
I CALL IT HOT [BEEP]

430
00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:25,724
I CALL IT HOT [BEEP]
WATER-SKIING.

431
00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:28,275
WATER-SKIING.

432
00:17:28,275 --> 00:17:29,551
>> LOOKS LIKE WE MIGHT HAVE SOME

433
00:17:29,551 --> 00:17:32,827
FEDERALES.

434
00:17:32,827 --> 00:17:34,965
>> GO BACK TO AMERICA!

435
00:17:34,965 --> 00:17:36,758
>> THIS IS THE ORIGINAL MEXICAN

436
00:17:36,758 --> 00:17:37,206
SNOWBOARDING.

437
00:17:37,206 --> 00:17:38,413
THIS IS WHERE IT ALL ORIGINATED,

438
00:17:38,413 --> 00:17:39,172
BABY.

439
00:17:39,172 --> 00:17:40,896
>> LOS OSOS, MEXICO.

440
00:17:40,896 --> 00:17:45,000
VIVA LOS OSOS!

441
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,206
VIVA LOS OSOS!
ARRIBE!

442
00:17:47,206 --> 00:17:57,827
ARRIBE!

443
00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,931
[BEEP]

444
00:17:59,931 --> 00:18:01,413
>> MEXICAN SNOWBOARDING IS NOT

445
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:02,689
FOR MACHO JERKS.

446
00:18:02,689 --> 00:18:05,586
IT'S 110% PURE ADRENALINE.

447
00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:08,275
IT'S 110% PURE ADRENALINE.
ULTIMATE RUSH, ULTIMATE HIGH.

448
00:18:08,275 --> 00:18:17,137
ULTIMATE RUSH, ULTIMATE HIGH.

449
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:19,482
ULTIMATE RUSH, ULTIMATE HIGH.
>> 1, 2, 3, 4!

450
00:18:19,482 --> 00:18:28,103
>> 1, 2, 3, 4!

451
00:18:28,103 --> 00:18:29,344
>> EXCUSE ME, SIR?

452
00:18:29,344 --> 00:18:29,827
>> YES.

453
00:18:29,827 --> 00:18:31,931
>> UH, I NEED TO KNOW WHERE A

454
00:18:31,931 --> 00:18:32,793
HARDWARE STORE IS.

455
00:18:32,793 --> 00:18:36,379
I'M TRYING TO SCORE SOME ROPE.

456
00:18:36,379 --> 00:18:38,862
HOW ABOUT THE 5 SOUTH--YEAH.

457
00:18:38,862 --> 00:18:39,827
I'M GOING TO THE ANDREWS

458
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,551
NATIONAL FOREST.

459
00:18:41,551 --> 00:18:45,862
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]

460
00:18:45,862 --> 00:18:48,965
>> OOH.

461
00:18:48,965 --> 00:18:51,551
>> OOH.
>> OH, MY GOD.

462
00:18:51,551 --> 00:18:55,068
>> OH, MY GOD.

463
00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:58,551
>> OH, MY GOD.
>> HE GOT ANOTHER DUDE TIED UP!

464
00:18:58,551 --> 00:19:03,103
>> HE GOT ANOTHER DUDE TIED UP!

465
00:19:03,103 --> 00:19:07,172
>> JESUS LOVES YOU.

466
00:19:07,172 --> 00:19:08,275
HEY, BUDDY, YOU DOING ALL

467
00:19:08,275 --> 00:19:10,103
HEY, BUDDY, YOU DOING ALL
RIGHT BACK THERE?

468
00:19:10,103 --> 00:19:12,793
RIGHT BACK THERE?

469
00:19:12,793 --> 00:19:13,586
>> CAN I HELP YOU?

470
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:14,862
>> I NEED A HARDWARE STORE.

471
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,275
DO YOU KNOW WHERE A HARDWARE

472
00:19:16,275 --> 00:19:16,758
STORE IS?

473
00:19:16,758 --> 00:19:17,827
>> DOWN HERE TO THE RIGHT.

474
00:19:17,827 --> 00:19:18,655
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]

475
00:19:18,655 --> 00:19:19,724
>> DO YOU HAVE ANY INDUSTRIAL

476
00:19:19,724 --> 00:19:21,137
STRENGTH ADHESIVES?

477
00:19:21,137 --> 00:19:22,206
>> SOMEONE IS IN HERE.

478
00:19:22,206 --> 00:19:23,551
>> YEAH, I THINK MY CAR IS

479
00:19:23,551 --> 00:19:24,068
RATTLING.

480
00:19:24,068 --> 00:19:25,068
>> SOMEONE IS IN THE TRUNK.

481
00:19:25,068 --> 00:19:26,034
SOMEONE IS IN HERE.

482
00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:27,517
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]

483
00:19:27,517 --> 00:19:29,448
>> AY AY AY!

484
00:19:29,448 --> 00:19:31,137
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

485
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:32,379
WHAT IS THIS?

486
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:34,103
WHAT IS THIS?
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]

487
00:19:34,103 --> 00:19:37,275
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]

488
00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:39,275
>> LATER, DUDE.

489
00:19:39,275 --> 00:19:41,172
>> YOUR SEXINESS JUST SCARES

490
00:19:41,172 --> 00:19:42,241
PEOPLE.

491
00:19:42,241 --> 00:19:43,931
>> FROM MY EXPERIMENTS WITH

492
00:19:43,931 --> 00:19:46,586
SEXINESS, IT SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF

493
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,034
PEOPLE ARE AFRAID AT FIRST, AND

494
00:19:48,034 --> 00:19:50,068
FEAR USUALLY EQUALS VIOLENCE,

495
00:19:50,068 --> 00:19:51,551
BUT EVENTUALLY I'LL WIN THEIR

496
00:19:51,551 --> 00:19:53,172
HEARTS, AND INSTEAD OF FIGHTING,

497
00:19:53,172 --> 00:19:55,275
THEY'LL WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO ME.

498
00:19:55,275 --> 00:19:56,482
>> EVEN THE MEN?

499
00:19:56,482 --> 00:19:57,000
>> YEAH.

500
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,206
>> YOU GETTING HOT BACK THERE,

501
00:19:58,206 --> 00:20:02,344
BUDDY?

502
00:20:02,344 --> 00:20:02,896
>> EXCUSE ME, SIR.

503
00:20:02,896 --> 00:20:03,827
I HAVE A FULL-GROWN SEMI-NUDE

504
00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:05,103
MAN BOUND WITH DUCT TAPE IN MY

505
00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:06,517
TRUNK, AND I WAS TRYING TO GET

506
00:20:06,517 --> 00:20:08,793
OUT TO THE DESERT TO BURY HIM.

507
00:20:08,793 --> 00:20:10,413
HOW DO I HIT THE 5 SOUTH?

508
00:20:10,413 --> 00:20:12,000
>> HOLD ON.

509
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,000
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]

510
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,758
>> OH, MY GOSH.

511
00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:19,931
>> ♪ I'M BOUNDED BY YOU!

512
00:20:19,931 --> 00:20:22,862
I'M BOUNDED NO MORE!

513
00:20:22,862 --> 00:20:25,758
I'M BOUNDED BY YOU!

514
00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:33,931
>> WHOOP! WHOOP!ORE! ♪

515
00:20:33,931 --> 00:20:35,448
>> ANYONE HAVE A PENCIL OR A

516
00:20:35,448 --> 00:20:38,482
PEN?

517
00:20:38,482 --> 00:20:39,689
>> NO.

518
00:20:39,689 --> 00:20:41,206
>> HOW ABOUT A CRAYON?

519
00:20:41,206 --> 00:20:42,655
I HOPE I MEET YOU SOME OTHER

520
00:20:42,655 --> 00:20:43,137
PLACE.

521
00:20:43,137 --> 00:20:44,034
YOU LOOK GREAT TODAY.

522
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:44,620
>> OH, YEAH?

523
00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:45,448
>> SAY, "WELCOME TO JACKASS."

524
00:20:45,448 --> 00:20:46,172
>> TAKE THIS PAPER WITH YOU.

525
00:20:46,172 --> 00:20:47,965
IF YOU FIND A PEN, PUT YOUR

526
00:20:47,965 --> 00:20:49,620
AUTOGRAPH ON IT FOR ME, WOULD

527
00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:49,931
YOU?

528
00:20:49,931 --> 00:20:50,724
>> I THINK THIS GUY'S A LITTLE

529
00:20:50,724 --> 00:20:52,103
ATTRACTED TO ME.

530
00:20:52,103 --> 00:20:52,758
>> A LITTLE?

531
00:20:52,758 --> 00:20:53,413
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

532
00:20:53,413 --> 00:20:54,275
>> NOW SAY IT. READY?

533
00:20:54,275 --> 00:20:54,965
1, 2, 3.

534
00:20:54,965 --> 00:20:56,068
WELCOME TO JACKASS.

535
00:20:56,068 --> 00:20:58,241
>> WELCOME TO JACKASS.

536
00:20:58,241 --> 00:20:59,689
>> WHITE STUFF ON THE BACK OF

537
00:20:59,689 --> 00:21:03,068
YOUR NECK.

538
00:21:03,068 --> 00:21:04,206
>> SOME [BEEP] JUICE.

539
00:21:04,206 --> 00:21:06,758
>> SOME [BEEP] JUICE.
>> HA HA HA!

540
00:21:06,758 --> 00:21:18,827
>> HA HA HA!

541
00:21:18,827 --> 00:21:21,413
>> HA HA HA!
[GRUNTING]

542
00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:23,241
[GRUNTING]