1 00:00:19,633 --> 00:00:21,667 >> HI. I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE. 2 00:00:21,667 --> 00:00:24,000 WELCOME TO "JACKASS." 3 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,267 >> COME WASH MY BACK! 4 00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:56,700 >> I'VE BEEN WORKING WITH BEES 5 00:00:56,700 --> 00:00:59,167 FOR 51 YEARS. 6 00:00:59,167 --> 00:01:00,833 I BECAME CURIOUS ABOUT BEES, 7 00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:02,300 LEARNED HOW TO BE A BEEKEEPER, 8 00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:03,733 GOT MY Ph.D. IN THE FIELD. 9 00:01:03,733 --> 00:01:06,533 NOW I'M GOING TO CAREFULLY PLACE 10 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:09,067 A FEW LITTLE DOTS OF SOLUTION. 11 00:01:09,067 --> 00:01:10,267 >> NOW, WHAT'S THAT GOING TO DO? 12 00:01:10,267 --> 00:01:11,767 >> IT'S GONNA BE--IT'S FOOD. 13 00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,500 I'M MIXING UP ARTIFICIAL NECTAR. 14 00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:15,333 >> SO, HOW MANY TIMES WOULD YOU 15 00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:16,333 SAY YOU'VE BEEN STUNG? 16 00:01:16,333 --> 00:01:17,833 >> JUST AN ESTIMATE, OVER A 17 00:01:17,833 --> 00:01:19,767 50-YEAR PERIOD, MAYBE 75,000 18 00:01:19,767 --> 00:01:20,900 TIMES. 19 00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:22,200 >> WHAT DOES THE SMOKE DO? 20 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,400 >> WELL, THE SMOKE CONFUSES, 21 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,233 DISORGANIZES THE BEES. 22 00:01:26,233 --> 00:01:27,433 >> IF WE WERE TO BLOW THE SMOKE 23 00:01:27,433 --> 00:01:28,867 ON MR. KNOXVILLE, WOULD IT 24 00:01:28,867 --> 00:01:29,900 CONFUSE HIM? 25 00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:31,533 >> 26 00:01:31,533 --> 00:01:32,200 >> HI. 27 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,067 THIS IS JOHNNY KNOXVILLE 28 00:01:33,067 --> 00:01:33,667 CALLING. 29 00:01:33,667 --> 00:01:34,500 I WAS WONDERING IF WE GOT MY 30 00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:36,600 RESULTS BACK FOR IF I'M ALLERGIC 31 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,100 TO HONEYBEES OR NOT. 32 00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:40,300 I HAVE 10,000 BEES BESIDE ME. 33 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,733 >> OH, MY GOD. 34 00:01:41,733 --> 00:01:42,667 >> AND I'M HOPING I'M NOT 35 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,067 ALLERGIC. 36 00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:44,733 >> JOHNNY. 37 00:01:44,733 --> 00:01:45,433 >> YES, MA'AM. 38 00:01:45,433 --> 00:01:48,900 >> TOXIC DANGER OF ABOUT A 1+ 39 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:49,800 LEVEL. 40 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,133 >> OK, SO I CAN TAKE 41 00:01:51,133 --> 00:01:52,067 A FEW STINGS. 42 00:01:52,067 --> 00:01:54,933 >> DO NOT PULL OUT THE STINGER. 43 00:01:54,933 --> 00:01:55,633 >> YES, MA'AM. 44 00:01:55,633 --> 00:01:56,567 I HAVE NORM HERE, SO WE SHOULD 45 00:01:56,567 --> 00:01:57,733 BE ALL RIGHT. 46 00:01:57,733 --> 00:01:58,867 >> DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID? 47 00:01:58,867 --> 00:01:59,833 >> YES, MA'AM. 48 00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:00,967 >> WHAT DID I SAY? 49 00:02:00,967 --> 00:02:02,133 >> YOU SAID DON'T PULL THE 50 00:02:02,133 --> 00:02:02,933 STINGER OUT. 51 00:02:02,933 --> 00:02:04,067 FLICK THE STINGER OUT. 52 00:02:04,067 --> 00:02:05,067 DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID? 53 00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:06,300 >> YES, THANK YOU. 54 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:07,333 DON'T GET STUNG. 55 00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:09,333 >> NO, MA'AM. 56 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:14,833 IS MY CROTCH GOING TO BE THE 57 00:02:14,833 --> 00:02:16,833 HIVE? 58 00:02:28,433 --> 00:02:30,667 IS THIS A DUMB IDEA, NORM? 59 00:02:45,967 --> 00:02:46,767 HELLO. 60 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:47,700 I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE, 61 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,200 AND THIS IS A BEEKINI. 62 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,500 >> MAYBE THEY'RE HUNGRY AGAIN. 63 00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:51,600 >> SHUT UP, RICK. 64 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,133 HOW MANY DO I HAVE ON ME? 65 00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:54,367 >> LET'S SAY 15,000. 66 00:02:54,367 --> 00:02:55,400 THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH. 67 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,300 >> CLOSE ENOUGH. 68 00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:57,300 >> LET'S GET THEM OFF. 69 00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:58,400 JUST GET THEM OFF. 70 00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,367 YOU DIDN'T FORGET HOW TO GET 71 00:02:59,367 --> 00:03:01,067 THEM OFF, DID YOU? 72 00:03:01,067 --> 00:03:02,567 >> JUST LAY ON THE GROUND AND 73 00:03:02,567 --> 00:03:03,533 ROLL. 74 00:03:03,533 --> 00:03:08,600 >> SHUT UP, RICK. 75 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,600 COME ON. 76 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:10,767 >> OK. 77 00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:12,367 >> WELL, THEY'RE NOT LEAVING. 78 00:03:12,367 --> 00:03:14,367 >> YES, THEY ARE. 79 00:03:22,567 --> 00:03:24,100 >> AAH! 80 00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:02,067 >> AAH! HOLY . 81 00:05:10,933 --> 00:05:14,300 >> GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. 82 00:05:29,567 --> 00:05:30,367 >> WHAT'S GOING ON? 83 00:05:30,367 --> 00:05:31,200 WHAT YOU DOING OUT HERE 84 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,933 LIKE THIS FOR, MAN? 85 00:05:35,733 --> 00:05:36,533 >> AIN'T NOTHING LIKE 86 00:05:36,533 --> 00:05:38,067 A DRUNK MONKEY, MAN. 87 00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:39,567 DAMN. 88 00:05:44,433 --> 00:05:46,433 >> GET BACK HERE! 89 00:05:56,267 --> 00:05:59,633 >> 90 00:05:59,633 --> 00:06:00,700 >> GET BACK HERE! 91 00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,133 GET BACK HERE! 92 00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:04,067 GET BACK HERE! 93 00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:05,833 COME HERE, YOU LITTLE BASTARD! 94 00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,767 COME HERE! 95 00:06:19,433 --> 00:06:20,267 >> AW, YOU DON'T KNOW 96 00:06:20,267 --> 00:06:21,267 WHAT YOU'RE DOING. 97 00:06:21,267 --> 00:06:22,267 >> OH, REALLY? 98 00:06:25,767 --> 00:06:26,467 >> LIFT UP THE THING 99 00:06:26,467 --> 00:06:30,100 A LITTLE BIT. 100 00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:30,800 IT'S GOING TO NEED TO BE A 101 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:34,333 LITTLE BIT OFF TO THIS SIDE. 102 00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:36,133 >> THAT CHAIR LOOKS SO RAD, MAN. 103 00:06:36,133 --> 00:06:37,133 ACTUALLY, YEAH, I THINK IT IS 104 00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:38,200 GOING TO WORK. 105 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,267 >> 106 00:06:39,267 --> 00:06:40,167 >> BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT TOOK A 107 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,667 LOT OF TIME PUTTING DOUBLE 108 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:44,300 RUBBER IN THERE, SO IT LOOKS 109 00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:45,233 LIKE IT'S DEFINITELY GOING TO 110 00:06:45,233 --> 00:06:46,367 WORK. 111 00:06:46,367 --> 00:06:47,700 >> 1, 2, 3. 112 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,200 >> HA HA HA! 113 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:53,700 >> HE'S GOING TO DIE. 114 00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:56,433 >> 115 00:06:56,433 --> 00:06:57,233 >> WHAT'S UP? 116 00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:57,933 I'M BAM. 117 00:06:57,933 --> 00:06:58,567 >> I'M RYAN. 118 00:06:58,567 --> 00:06:59,300 >> AND WE'RE AT ARASAPHA 119 00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:00,833 FARM, AND WE'RE GOING TO DO THE 120 00:07:00,833 --> 00:07:02,333 IDIOT LAUNCH. 121 00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:06,500 >> 2, 3, GO. 122 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:09,300 >> OH, 123 00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:12,800 >> 1, 2, 3. 124 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,067 >> 125 00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,833 >> OH, IT STINKS SO BAD. 126 00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:21,200 >> GO! 127 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:22,433 >> HE HELD ON. LET GO! 128 00:07:22,433 --> 00:07:23,233 >> I'M TELLING YOU, IT WOULDN'T 129 00:07:23,233 --> 00:07:24,833 MATTER IF I HELD ON OR NOT. 130 00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:25,933 I'LL DO IT AGAIN WITHOUT 131 00:07:25,933 --> 00:07:26,767 HOLDING ON. 132 00:07:26,767 --> 00:07:27,567 >> IF YOU WOULD HAVE JUST GONE. 133 00:07:27,567 --> 00:07:28,733 >> HUH? 134 00:07:28,733 --> 00:07:30,267 >> IF YOU WOULD HAVE JUST GONE. 135 00:07:30,267 --> 00:07:31,167 >> GO. 136 00:07:36,267 --> 00:07:38,367 >> UGH. 137 00:07:38,367 --> 00:07:40,300 SICK. 138 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:42,300 >> YOU ALL RIGHT? 139 00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:45,700 >> I MEAN, DID IT EVEN 140 00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:47,367 LOOK ALL RIGHT? 141 00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,567 >> WHAT DO YOU SAY WE JUST TRY 142 00:07:48,567 --> 00:07:49,333 ONE MORE? 143 00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:50,067 >> IT DOESN'T WORK. 144 00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,600 LET'S JUST GO. 145 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:55,900 >> OK, HERE WE GO. 146 00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:58,367 >> AH! HA HA HA HA!||||||||||||| 147 00:08:10,267 --> 00:08:13,267 >> 148 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,200 >> WE'RE GOING TO WALK INTO A 149 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,567 TAXIDERMY AND SEE IF THEY'LL 150 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:26,233 STUFF AND MOUNT MY GRANDMOTHER. 151 00:08:26,233 --> 00:08:27,233 HI. MY NAME'S JOHNNY. 152 00:08:27,233 --> 00:08:29,067 THIS IS MY GRANDMOTHER DOROTHY. 153 00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:29,833 >> HOW YOU DOING? 154 00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,467 >> HI, KITTY. 155 00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:32,400 WOW. 156 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:33,167 >> OH, A LIVE ONE HERE. 157 00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:34,067 >> YEAH. 158 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:35,267 >> MY GRANDMOTHER-- 159 00:08:35,267 --> 00:08:38,600 SHE'S GOING TO BE PASSING AWAY. 160 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,500 >> UH-HUH. 161 00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:40,567 >> AND WE WANTED TO COME AND 162 00:08:40,567 --> 00:08:42,267 TALK TO YOU TO SEE ABOUT IF YOU 163 00:08:42,267 --> 00:08:44,067 WOULD STUFF AND MOUNT HER. 164 00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:45,100 >> YOU CAN'T DO THAT. 165 00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,333 IT'S ILLEGAL, FOR ONE THING. 166 00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:48,900 >> WELL, WE HAVE CALLS IN TO 167 00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:50,767 THE BOARD OF HEALTH, AND WE'RE 168 00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:51,867 CHECKING ON THE LEGALITIES OF 169 00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:53,333 IT, BUT WE'RE JUST SEEING ON A 170 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,967 MORAL ISSUE IF YOU COULD DO THAT 171 00:08:55,967 --> 00:08:58,400 OR YOU'D BE WILLING TO DO THAT. 172 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,433 >> I WOULDN'T HAVE THE FIRST 173 00:09:00,433 --> 00:09:03,533 I... 174 00:09:03,533 --> 00:09:05,067 MOUNTING WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM. 175 00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:07,367 IT WOULD BE CURING THE SKIN. 176 00:09:07,367 --> 00:09:08,667 >> WE WANT HER IN A REALLY 177 00:09:08,667 --> 00:09:10,067 NATURAL POSITION BECAUSE OF THE 178 00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:11,367 GRANDCHILDREN. 179 00:09:11,367 --> 00:09:12,267 >> OH, GOD, YOU KNOW. 180 00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:13,067 I DON'T KNOW. 181 00:09:13,067 --> 00:09:15,400 THAT WOULD BE REALLY SOMETHING. 182 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,133 THE FACE WOULD BE SO HARD TO DO. 183 00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:20,067 >> RIGHT. 184 00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:21,067 >> I CAN'T IMAGINE. 185 00:09:21,067 --> 00:09:22,633 HER EYES WOULD BE REALLY-- 186 00:09:22,633 --> 00:09:23,400 >> WELL, IF HER EYES LOOK FUNNY, 187 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,600 WE COULD JUST HAVE THOSE--YOUR 188 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,567 SUNGLASSES. 189 00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:26,500 >> I'VE HAD A LOT OF WEIRD 190 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:27,933 THINGS IN 22 YEARS, BUT NEVER 191 00:09:27,933 --> 00:09:29,900 HAD THAT YET. 192 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:33,867 >> HI. HOW ARE YOU? 193 00:09:33,867 --> 00:09:34,600 >> FINE. HOW YOU DOING? 194 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:35,267 >> GOOD. 195 00:09:35,267 --> 00:09:35,967 >> GOOD. 196 00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:36,600 >> MY NAME'S JOHNNY. 197 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:37,633 THIS IS MY GRANDMOTHER DOTTIE. 198 00:09:37,633 --> 00:09:38,367 >> HI. 199 00:09:38,367 --> 00:09:39,233 >> MY BROTHER JEFF. 200 00:09:39,233 --> 00:09:40,400 >> PLEASED TO MEET Y'ALL. 201 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,733 >> MY GRANDMOTHER--SHE DOESN'T 202 00:09:41,733 --> 00:09:45,433 HAVE AN AWFUL LOT OF YEARS LEFT, 203 00:09:45,433 --> 00:09:49,833 AND IT IS HER WISH AND THE 204 00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:51,967 FAMILY'S WISH THAT WE'RE GOING 205 00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,700 TO FORGO THE REGULAR BURIAL 206 00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:56,533 PROCEDURE AND SEE IF YOU GUYS 207 00:09:56,533 --> 00:10:00,567 WOULD MAYBE STUFF AND MOUNT MY 208 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:01,367 GRANDMOTHER HERE. 209 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,400 >> HI, DOTTIE. 210 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,800 OK, THERE IS A SENSITIVE MATTER 211 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:04,967 AND THE LEGALITIES--I'M NOT 212 00:10:04,967 --> 00:10:06,300 AWARE OF THE LEGALITIES OF 213 00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,233 PEOPLE. 214 00:10:07,233 --> 00:10:08,333 LET ME GET GARY THE OWNER OUT 215 00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:09,033 HERE. 216 00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:10,367 HE'S BEEN IN THE BUSINESS NOW 217 00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:11,267 FOR A LONG TIME. 218 00:10:11,267 --> 00:10:12,733 HE MIGHT HAVE HAD THAT REQUEST. 219 00:10:12,733 --> 00:10:13,600 >> THIS MOOSE--HOW NATURAL IT 220 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:14,367 LOOKS. 221 00:10:14,367 --> 00:10:16,533 I'D LIKE TO CAPTURE SOMETHING 222 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,067 LIKE THIS FOR GRANDMA. 223 00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:19,833 >> I'D LIKE TO SEE WHAT PRICE 224 00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:21,367 YOU GUYS WOULD CHARGE. 225 00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:22,167 >> YOU'RE PROBABLY LOOKING 226 00:10:22,167 --> 00:10:24,167 AROUND 20,000 OR SOMETHING. 227 00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:25,267 >> AND 20 GRAND IS, LIKE, A 228 00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:26,767 ROUGH ESTIMATE FOR RIGHT NOW? 229 00:10:26,767 --> 00:10:27,933 >> VERY ROUGH. 230 00:10:27,933 --> 00:10:28,633 >> VERY ROUGH. 231 00:10:28,633 --> 00:10:29,700 >> NOW, IS THERE A SMELL GOING 232 00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:32,267 TO BE INVOLVED WITH...I MEAN, 233 00:10:32,267 --> 00:10:33,600 DOWN THE LINE? 234 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,733 >> YOU'D KEEP HER DUSTED AND 235 00:10:34,733 --> 00:10:35,400 STUFF. 236 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:36,700 >> OH, OF COURSE. 237 00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:37,733 >> 238 00:10:37,733 --> 00:10:38,667 SORRY, MOM. 239 00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:39,533 >> I'M SORRY. 240 00:10:39,533 --> 00:10:40,300 >> THANK YOU. 241 00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:41,367 >> WHAT HAPPENS TO HER ENTRAILS 242 00:10:41,367 --> 00:10:43,433 ONCE THAT YOU... 243 00:10:43,433 --> 00:10:44,867 >> WE DON'T EVEN DEAL WITH THAT. 244 00:10:44,867 --> 00:10:45,700 >> I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO 245 00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:47,100 HEAR THE DETAILS. 246 00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,167 >> YEAH, I'M SORRY. 247 00:10:48,167 --> 00:10:50,033 LET'S JUST GET THE CARD AND GO. 248 00:10:50,033 --> 00:10:50,667 >> WE GAVE HIM 3. 249 00:10:50,667 --> 00:10:51,367 >> OK, GOOD. 250 00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:52,133 >> DOTTIE, IT WAS A PLEASURE 251 00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:52,867 MEETING YOU. 252 00:10:52,867 --> 00:10:53,567 >> NICE MEETING YOU. 253 00:10:53,567 --> 00:10:56,200 >> NICE MEETING YOU. 254 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,767 >> YOU'VE GOT BALLS OF BIG 255 00:10:57,767 --> 00:10:59,167 STEEL, AND YOU AIN'T TAKING 256 00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:00,267 FROM NOBODY. 257 00:11:00,267 --> 00:11:01,133 >> NO . 258 00:11:01,133 --> 00:11:04,433 >> NO, YOU AIN'T TAKING . 259 00:11:04,433 --> 00:11:06,767 >> THE HAS HIT THE FAN. 260 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:07,667 >> WHAT, HELL. 261 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,333 OH! 262 00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:09,367 >> OH! 263 00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:22,167 FROM HAPPENING 264 00:11:22,167 --> 00:11:23,300 YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP IT HERE 265 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:32,200 BIG TIME, BIG TIME 266 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:33,533 WELL, THE KID WON'T STOP, BUT 267 00:11:33,533 --> 00:11:37,933 IT'S REALLY HOPPING 268 00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:43,600 >> OH! 269 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:44,533 OH! 270 00:11:44,533 --> 00:11:45,333 OH! 271 00:11:46,633 --> 00:11:50,467 WHO YOU GONNA HURT SOME MORE? 272 00:11:50,467 --> 00:11:51,800 4, 5, 6, 7 273 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,500 ALL GO TO HEAVEN 274 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,533 THERE'S NO STOPPING THINGS FROM 275 00:11:57,533 --> 00:12:00,800 HAPPENING 276 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,067 YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP IT HERE 277 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,600 >> COME BACK HERE! 278 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:30,433 GET BACK HERE! 279 00:12:30,433 --> 00:12:32,367 GET BACK HERE! 280 00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:34,367 COME BACK HERE! 281 00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,700 >> I'M GOING TO NEED YOU TO, UH, 282 00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:52,300 CHEAT YOUR ASS A LITTLE 283 00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:54,400 THIS WAY. 284 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,133 WHAT DOES YOUR ASS SAY? 285 00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:57,167 >> YOUR NAME. 286 00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,333 I GOT "YOUR NAME" TATTOOED 287 00:12:58,333 --> 00:12:59,633 ON MY ASS. 288 00:12:59,633 --> 00:13:01,700 YEAH. 289 00:13:08,133 --> 00:13:09,800 >> OK. 290 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,500 HERE WE GO. 291 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:17,433 >> THIS IS SO GAY, A GAY JOKE. 292 00:13:17,433 --> 00:13:20,333 >> THAT DOES IT. 293 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,633 I FOUND MY WAY. 294 00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:26,067 >> YOU'RE NOT CIRCUMCISED? 295 00:13:26,067 --> 00:13:27,067 >> NO, DUDE. 296 00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,100 I THINK I'M JUST CURVED AROUND. 297 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:32,200 >> OH, OK. 298 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:32,933 >> THIS ONE'S REALLY GOING TO 299 00:13:32,933 --> 00:13:33,600 HURT. 300 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:34,567 IT'S RIGHT ON THE CRACK. 301 00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:35,700 >> OH, DUDE, BE CAREFUL, DUDE. 302 00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:38,800 BE CAREFUL. 303 00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:46,533 >> I'M TALKING TO IT. 304 00:13:46,533 --> 00:13:47,533 >> THE FIRST ONES ARE GETTING 305 00:13:47,533 --> 00:13:48,333 SORE. 306 00:13:48,333 --> 00:13:51,700 AAH! HA HA HA! 307 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:52,767 THEY'RE NOT FEELING SO BAD 308 00:13:52,767 --> 00:13:57,433 GOING IN. 309 00:13:57,433 --> 00:13:58,533 >> AHHH, YEAH. 310 00:13:58,533 --> 00:13:59,500 >> OK, NOW TURN AROUND. 311 00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:01,833 LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT. 312 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,100 >> OH, GOD. 313 00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:07,767 >> NO, WAIT, WAIT. 314 00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:08,833 WE GOT TO TAPE THE WARNING ON. 315 00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:10,067 >> YOU CAN STICK IT IN HERE, 316 00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:10,967 DUDE. 317 00:14:10,967 --> 00:14:13,100 YOU CAN STICK IT RIGHT THERE. 318 00:14:13,867 --> 00:14:16,800 >> OH! 319 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,567 WELL, I MEAN, THIS HURTS, YOU 320 00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:19,400 KNOW? 321 00:14:21,767 --> 00:14:23,467 >> 322 00:14:23,467 --> 00:14:25,100 >> COME ON. DON'T DO THAT. 323 00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:26,767 COME ON. COME ON. STOP. 324 00:14:26,767 --> 00:14:27,567 WILL YOU STOP?|||||||||||||||||| 325 00:14:40,067 --> 00:14:45,833 >> 326 00:14:45,833 --> 00:14:47,400 >> EVERYBODY READY. 327 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:51,733 GOING. 328 00:14:51,733 --> 00:14:53,967 >> SO, WE'VE DRIVEN 5 HOURS FROM 329 00:14:53,967 --> 00:14:54,667 PHILADELPHIA. 330 00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:55,733 IT SHOULD HAVE TAKEN US 3, 331 00:14:55,733 --> 00:14:58,167 JAIME, AND WE'RE IN 332 00:14:58,167 --> 00:14:58,967 CONNECTICUT, AND WE'RE LOOKING 333 00:14:58,967 --> 00:15:01,400 FOR MIANUS. 334 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,200 CAN YOU POINT ME TOWARDS 335 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:02,933 MIANUS? 336 00:15:02,933 --> 00:15:05,333 >> YEAH. 337 00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:06,633 JUST GO DOWN THE HILL AND MAKE A 338 00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:07,467 RIGHT TURN. 339 00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:08,633 THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO. 340 00:15:08,633 --> 00:15:10,733 >> IS MIANUS A BIG PLACE? 341 00:15:10,733 --> 00:15:12,733 >> WELL, I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE. 342 00:15:12,733 --> 00:15:14,267 IT IS DOWN THERE, BUT I'VE NEVER 343 00:15:14,267 --> 00:15:15,400 BEEN THERE. 344 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:16,333 >> 345 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:20,333 DAMN, MAN. 346 00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:21,633 LOOK, THERE'S A TEPEE IN 347 00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:23,767 MIANUS. 348 00:15:23,767 --> 00:15:24,867 THERE'S A BIG RED TRUCK IN 349 00:15:24,867 --> 00:15:26,600 MIANUS. 350 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:27,267 AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT? 351 00:15:27,267 --> 00:15:28,433 THERE'S A GENERAL STORE IN 352 00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:30,767 MIANUS. 353 00:15:30,767 --> 00:15:31,933 DO YOU SELL A LOT OF CHOCOLATE 354 00:15:31,933 --> 00:15:32,967 MILK IN MIANUS? 355 00:15:32,967 --> 00:15:33,900 >> MM-HMM. 356 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:34,833 >> WHAT'S THE BEST MEAT IN 357 00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:35,933 MIANUS? 358 00:15:35,933 --> 00:15:37,733 >> WELL, THERE'S BANGERS, 359 00:15:37,733 --> 00:15:39,200 THERE'S STEAK AND KIDNEY PIES, 360 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,967 STEAK AND BANGER PIES. 361 00:15:40,967 --> 00:15:41,900 >> THERE'S A LITTLE JACK RUSSELL 362 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,200 TERRIER IN MIANUS. 363 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:47,633 LOOK, RICK'S PUMPING IN MIANUS. 364 00:15:47,633 --> 00:15:48,767 THERE'S A SEWAGE PLANT IN 365 00:15:48,767 --> 00:15:51,933 MIANUS, AND IT STINKS. 366 00:15:51,933 --> 00:15:53,333 WHAT'S THE ODDEST THING YOU'VE 367 00:15:53,333 --> 00:15:55,100 FOUND IN THE SEWAGE IN MIANUS? 368 00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:56,200 >> LEAVES AND THINGS, AND 369 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,333 OCCASIONALLY A CRAWFISH OR TWO 370 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,667 WILL POP UP IN THE SCREEN. 371 00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:02,967 >> DO YOU EVER CATCH ANY BROWN 372 00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:04,500 TROUT IN MIANUS? 373 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:05,333 >> I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY. 374 00:16:05,333 --> 00:16:06,133 >> WHAT'S THERE TO DO FOR FUN IN 375 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:07,133 MIANUS? 376 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,467 >> IT'S A PRETTY SMALL TOWN. 377 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,900 A BUNCH OF FAMOUS PEOPLE LIVE IN 378 00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:12,267 MANSIONS THAT ARE SURROUNDED BY 379 00:16:12,267 --> 00:16:13,067 FENCES. 380 00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:14,067 >> THERE'S A LOT OF FAMOUS 381 00:16:14,067 --> 00:16:15,100 PEOPLE THAT LIVE IN MIANUS? 382 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,433 >> MEL GIBSON HAS A HOUSE UP 383 00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:17,067 HERE. 384 00:16:17,067 --> 00:16:18,067 >> MEL GIBSON HAS A HOUSE IN 385 00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:18,767 MIANUS? 386 00:16:18,767 --> 00:16:19,533 >> WHOOPI GOLDBERG, I BELIEVE, 387 00:16:19,533 --> 00:16:20,700 HAS A HOUSE UP HERE. 388 00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:21,600 >> OH, I JUST LOVE WHOOPI 389 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:22,233 GOLDBERG. 390 00:16:22,233 --> 00:16:23,067 THAT'S COOL. 391 00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,100 A LOT OF WEALTHY PEOPLE IN 392 00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:24,767 MIANUS. 393 00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:25,433 >> YEAH. 394 00:16:25,433 --> 00:16:27,367 I WISH I COULD LIVE HERE. 395 00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:28,567 >> YOU DON'T LIVE IN MIANUS? 396 00:16:28,567 --> 00:16:29,567 >> I LIVE JUST OUTSIDE OF-- 397 00:16:29,567 --> 00:16:30,600 >> YOU COMMUTE TO MIANUS? 398 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:31,500 >> YEAH, I COMMUTE IN. 399 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:32,933 >> WOW. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. 400 00:16:32,933 --> 00:16:33,700 I THINK WE GOT EVERYTHING. 401 00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:35,300 THAT WAS GREAT. 402 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,400 >> GET BACK HERE! 403 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,733 COME HERE! 404 00:16:43,733 --> 00:16:50,067 YOU LITTLE BASTARD, COME HERE! 405 00:16:50,067 --> 00:16:52,933 GET BACK HERE! 406 00:16:52,933 --> 00:16:54,167 >> YOU'RE JUST FILLED WITH 407 00:16:54,167 --> 00:16:55,933 EXCUSES. 408 00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:57,067 IT'S LIKE A JOKE. 409 00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:57,833 I MIGHT AS WELL JUST LOOK AT 410 00:16:57,833 --> 00:16:59,067 THIS LIKE JUST JOKES I CAN JUST 411 00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:00,267 LAUGH AT. 412 00:17:00,267 --> 00:17:01,200 IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO STOP ME 413 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,067 FROM GETTING MAD, AND THAT'S 414 00:17:03,067 --> 00:17:03,733 WHAT I'M GETTING. 415 00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:06,067 I'M GETTING VERY, VERY ANGRY. 416 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,067 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD GET? 417 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,267 YOU SHOULD GET A GLASS STOMACH. 418 00:17:09,267 --> 00:17:10,067 THAT WAY YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY 419 00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:11,200 ABOUT PULLING YOUR HEAD OUT OF 420 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,200 YOUR ASS. 421 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,100 YOU CAN SEE WHERE YOU'RE GOING 422 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:13,867 THEN. 423 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,200 MAYBE YOU'LL GET SOMETHING DONE. 424 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,933 THERE'S NOT EVEN ANY TONER IN 425 00:17:16,933 --> 00:17:18,567 THE COPYING MACHINE. 426 00:17:18,567 --> 00:17:21,067 THERE'S NO COFFEE, NOTHING. 427 00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:22,267 NO! 428 00:17:22,267 --> 00:17:24,967 I'M SERIOUS! 429 00:17:24,967 --> 00:17:26,600 UGGGGHHH! 430 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,300 AAHHHHH! 431 00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:28,967 AAH! 432 00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:31,233 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE NOW? 433 00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:34,100 I'M BLEEDING OUT MY EAR, 434 00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:36,300 SO ANGRY YOU'VE MADE ME! 435 00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:38,533 AAH! 436 00:17:38,533 --> 00:17:39,433 WAIT TILL I GET BACK TO THE 437 00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:40,767 OFFICE! 438 00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:42,367 AHHH! YOU'RE FIRED! 439 00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:45,367 JUST PACK UP YOUR STUFF AND GO! 440 00:17:45,367 --> 00:17:47,933 AAH! 441 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,067 >> ARE YOU NEWS OR WHAT? 442 00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:03,067 >> 443 00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:06,767 >> WHAT HAP--WHAT DID YOU SEE? 444 00:18:06,767 --> 00:18:08,100 >> WELL, HE THREW HIS COCKEYED 445 00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:09,133 CELL PHONE DOWN. 446 00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:09,933 THE FIRST THING I KNOW, HE JUST 447 00:18:09,933 --> 00:18:11,667 WENT CRAZY. 448 00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:12,333 >> IT LOOKED LIKE THERE 449 00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:13,467 WAS BLOOD. 450 00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,633 >> IT LOOKS LIKE IT TO ME. 451 00:18:15,633 --> 00:18:16,600 NOW THEY GOT-- 452 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,267 >> YOU THINK HE'S ALL RIGHT? 453 00:18:18,267 --> 00:18:19,100 >> I DON'T KNOW. 454 00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:20,233 GOOD GRIEF. 455 00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:21,667 MAKING A NUISANCE OF HISSELF. 456 00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,500 >> DO YOU THINK HE'S HURT? 457 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:24,767 >> IN THE HEAD HE IS-- 458 00:18:24,767 --> 00:18:28,433 NOT OUTSIDE BUT IN. 459 00:19:04,933 --> 00:19:07,467 >> I'M BAM MARGERA, AND I FEEL 460 00:19:07,467 --> 00:19:08,833 LIKE KICKING MY DAD'S ASS 461 00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:10,300 ALL DAY TODAY. 462 00:19:14,833 --> 00:19:15,900 >> HUH? 463 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:16,833 SON? 464 00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:19,533 SON. 465 00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,467 >> COME ON, BAM. 466 00:19:21,467 --> 00:19:22,267 >> YOU LITTLE WUSS. 467 00:19:22,267 --> 00:19:25,433 >> JERK. STOP IT! 468 00:19:25,433 --> 00:19:26,100 >> COME ON. DON'T DO THAT. 469 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,367 WOULD YOU STOP? 470 00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:31,533 HEY, STOP IT. 471 00:19:31,533 --> 00:19:33,100 I AIN'T HITTING YOU. 472 00:19:36,433 --> 00:19:37,800 THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 473 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:38,500 COME ON, BAM. 474 00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,900 YOU KNOW MY STOMACH'S SORE. 475 00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:41,700 JUST STOP. 476 00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:43,700 IT'S ENOUGH. 477 00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:46,167 BOO, DID YOU JUST CALL ME? 478 00:19:46,167 --> 00:19:47,367 HOW COME YOU HUNG UP? 479 00:19:47,367 --> 00:19:49,367 STOP, BAM. I'M ON THE PHONE. 480 00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:53,133 STOP IT! 481 00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:53,900 I'M GOING TO HAVE TO KICK THE 482 00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:54,867 CAMERA OUT OF HIS HAND. 483 00:19:54,867 --> 00:19:55,867 HOW'S HE LIKE THAT? 484 00:19:55,867 --> 00:19:57,067 BYE-BYE, CAMERA. 485 00:19:57,067 --> 00:19:59,300 WHOO-HOO! HA HA! 486 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,133 >> WHAT ARE MY CHANCES TODAY IN 487 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,967 RIDING MR. MEAN? 488 00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:22,200 >> SLIM AND NONE. 489 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,400 >> SLIM AND NONE. 490 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,033 >> SLIM AND NONE. 491 00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:28,933 >> OH, GO. GO. GO OUTSIDE! 492 00:20:28,933 --> 00:20:30,233 GO OUTSIDE! GO OUTSIDE! 493 00:20:30,233 --> 00:20:31,767 GO OUTSIDE! GO OUTSIDE! 494 00:20:31,767 --> 00:20:33,100 >> WHY? WHAT'S THE MATTER? 495 00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:34,400 >> GO OUTSIDE! GO OUTSIDE! 496 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,233 I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO LIVE 497 00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:37,133 IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD AFTER THIS. 498 00:20:37,133 --> 00:20:40,800 >> 499 00:20:43,133 --> 00:20:44,667 >> HEY, MONEY, YOU GOT AN EXTRA 500 00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:50,300 BANANA ON YOU? 501 00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:53,600 THANKS, BUDDY. 502 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:54,333 >> HEY, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME 503 00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:55,767 YOU HAD A TETANUS SHOT? 504 00:20:55,767 --> 00:20:56,933 >> ONE OF THE LAST DOZEN TIMES 505 00:20:56,933 --> 00:20:58,933 I'VE BEEN IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM. 506 00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:06,133 >> 507 00:21:06,133 --> 00:21:08,200 >> OW! THAT'S SERIOUSLY KILLING! 508 00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:16,233 >> 509 00:21:22,833 --> 00:21:26,767 >> UHH! 510 00:21:26,767 --> 00:21:29,767 >> OW! MY HEAD! 511 00:21:29,767 --> 00:21:33,267 I HATE CELL PHONES! 512 00:21:33,267 --> 00:21:34,367 >> WHAT DO PEOPLE EAT 513 00:21:34,367 --> 00:21:36,100 THE MOST OF OUT OF MIANUS? 3 F1