1
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>> HI. I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE.

2
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WELCOME TO "JACKASS."

3
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,267
>> COME WASH MY BACK!

4
00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:56,700
>> I'VE BEEN WORKING WITH BEES

5
00:00:56,700 --> 00:00:59,167
FOR 51 YEARS.

6
00:00:59,167 --> 00:01:00,833
I BECAME CURIOUS ABOUT BEES,

7
00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:02,300
LEARNED HOW TO BE A BEEKEEPER,

8
00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:03,733
GOT MY Ph.D. IN THE FIELD.

9
00:01:03,733 --> 00:01:06,533
NOW I'M GOING TO CAREFULLY PLACE

10
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:09,067
A FEW LITTLE DOTS OF SOLUTION.

11
00:01:09,067 --> 00:01:10,267
>> NOW, WHAT'S THAT GOING TO DO?

12
00:01:10,267 --> 00:01:11,767
>> IT'S GONNA BE--IT'S FOOD.

13
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I'M MIXING UP ARTIFICIAL NECTAR.

14
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>> SO, HOW MANY TIMES WOULD YOU

15
00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:16,333
SAY YOU'VE BEEN STUNG?

16
00:01:16,333 --> 00:01:17,833
>> JUST AN ESTIMATE, OVER A

17
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50-YEAR PERIOD, MAYBE 75,000

18
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TIMES.

19
00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:22,200
>> WHAT DOES THE SMOKE DO?

20
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>> WELL, THE SMOKE CONFUSES,

21
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DISORGANIZES THE BEES.

22
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>> IF WE WERE TO BLOW THE SMOKE

23
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ON MR. KNOXVILLE, WOULD IT

24
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CONFUSE HIM?

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>> [RING]

26
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>> HI.

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THIS IS JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

28
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CALLING.

29
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I WAS WONDERING IF WE GOT MY

30
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RESULTS BACK FOR IF I'M ALLERGIC

31
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TO HONEYBEES OR NOT.

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I HAVE 10,000 BEES BESIDE ME.

33
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>> OH, MY GOD.

34
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>> AND I'M HOPING I'M NOT

35
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ALLERGIC.

36
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>> JOHNNY.

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>> YES, MA'AM.

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>> TOXIC DANGER OF ABOUT A 1+

39
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LEVEL.

40
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>> OK, SO I CAN TAKE

41
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A FEW STINGS.

42
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>> DO NOT PULL OUT THE STINGER.

43
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>> YES, MA'AM.

44
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I HAVE NORM HERE, SO WE SHOULD

45
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BE ALL RIGHT.

46
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>> DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?

47
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>> YES, MA'AM.

48
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>> WHAT DID I SAY?

49
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>> YOU SAID DON'T PULL THE

50
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STINGER OUT.

51
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FLICK THE STINGER OUT.

52
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DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?

53
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>> YES, THANK YOU.

54
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DON'T GET STUNG.

55
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>> NO, MA'AM.

56
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IS MY CROTCH GOING TO BE THE

57
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HIVE?

58
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IS THIS A DUMB IDEA, NORM?

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HELLO.

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I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE,

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AND THIS IS A BEEKINI.

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>> MAYBE THEY'RE HUNGRY AGAIN.

63
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>> SHUT UP, RICK.

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HOW MANY DO I HAVE ON ME?

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>> LET'S SAY 15,000.

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THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH.

67
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>> CLOSE ENOUGH.

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>> LET'S GET THEM OFF.

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JUST GET THEM OFF.

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YOU DIDN'T FORGET HOW TO GET

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THEM OFF, DID YOU?

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>> JUST LAY ON THE GROUND AND

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ROLL.

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>> SHUT UP, RICK.

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COME ON.

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>> OK.

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>> WELL, THEY'RE NOT LEAVING.

78
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>> YES, THEY ARE.

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[BEE BUZZING]

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>> AAH!

81
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[GRUNTING]

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[INDISTINCT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

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[MONKEY GRUNTING]

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[WOMEN SCREAMING]

85
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[MONKEY GRUNTING]

86
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[CAR HORN HONKING]

87
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[MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

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[MONKEY ROARING]

89
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[WOMEN SCREAM]

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>> AAH! HOLY [BEEP].

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[PEOPLE TALKING AT ONCE]

92
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[MONKEY GRUNTING]

93
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>> GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

94
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[MONKEY GRUNTING]

95
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>> WHAT'S GOING ON?

96
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WHAT YOU DOING OUT HERE

97
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LIKE THIS FOR, MAN?

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[MONKEY GRUNTING]

99
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>> AIN'T NOTHING LIKE

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A DRUNK MONKEY, MAN.

101
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[BEEP] DAMN.

102
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[MONKEY GRUNTS]

103
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>> GET BACK HERE!

104
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>> [INDISTINCT]

105
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>> GET BACK HERE!

106
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GET BACK HERE!

107
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GET BACK HERE!

108
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COME HERE, YOU LITTLE BASTARD!

109
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COME HERE!

110
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>> AW, YOU DON'T KNOW

111
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WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

112
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>> OH, REALLY?

113
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[PEOPLE TALKING AT ONCE]

114
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>> LIFT UP THE THING

115
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A LITTLE BIT.

116
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IT'S GOING TO NEED TO BE A

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LITTLE BIT OFF TO THIS SIDE.

118
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>> THAT CHAIR LOOKS SO RAD, MAN.

119
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ACTUALLY, YEAH, I THINK IT IS

120
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GOING TO WORK.

121
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>> [BEEP]

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>> BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT TOOK A

123
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LOT OF TIME PUTTING DOUBLE

124
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RUBBER IN THERE, SO IT LOOKS

125
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LIKE IT'S DEFINITELY GOING TO

126
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WORK.

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>> 1, 2, 3.

128
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>> HA HA HA!

129
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>> HE'S GOING TO DIE.

130
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>> [BEEP]

131
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>> WHAT'S UP?

132
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I'M BAM.

133
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>> I'M RYAN.

134
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>> AND WE'RE AT ARASAPHA

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FARM, AND WE'RE GOING TO DO THE

136
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IDIOT LAUNCH.

137
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>> 2, 3, GO.

138
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>> OH, [BEEP]

139
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>> 1, 2, 3.

140
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>> [LAUGHING]

141
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>> OH, IT STINKS SO BAD.

142
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>> GO!

143
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>> HE HELD ON. LET GO!

144
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>> I'M TELLING YOU, IT WOULDN'T

145
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MATTER IF I HELD ON OR NOT.

146
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I'LL DO IT AGAIN WITHOUT

147
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HOLDING ON.

148
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>> IF YOU WOULD HAVE JUST GONE.

149
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>> HUH?

150
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>> IF YOU WOULD HAVE JUST GONE.

151
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>> GO.

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>> UGH.

153
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[BEEP] SICK.

154
00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:42,300
>> YOU ALL RIGHT?

155
00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:45,700
>> I MEAN, DID IT EVEN

156
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:47,367
LOOK ALL RIGHT?

157
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,567
>> WHAT DO YOU SAY WE JUST TRY

158
00:07:48,567 --> 00:07:49,333
ONE MORE?

159
00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:50,067
>> IT DOESN'T WORK.

160
00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,600
LET'S JUST [BEEP] GO.

161
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>> OK, HERE WE GO.

162
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>> AH! HA HA HA HA!|||||||||||||

163
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>> [MONKEY SCREECHING]

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00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,200
>> WE'RE GOING TO WALK INTO A

165
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,567
TAXIDERMY AND SEE IF THEY'LL

166
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:26,233
STUFF AND MOUNT MY GRANDMOTHER.

167
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HI. MY NAME'S JOHNNY.

168
00:08:27,233 --> 00:08:29,067
THIS IS MY GRANDMOTHER DOROTHY.

169
00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:29,833
>> HOW YOU DOING?

170
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>> HI, KITTY.

171
00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:32,400
WOW.

172
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>> OH, A LIVE ONE HERE.

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>> YEAH.

174
00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:35,267
>> MY GRANDMOTHER--

175
00:08:35,267 --> 00:08:38,600
SHE'S GOING TO BE PASSING AWAY.

176
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,500
>> UH-HUH.

177
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:40,567
>> AND WE WANTED TO COME AND

178
00:08:40,567 --> 00:08:42,267
TALK TO YOU TO SEE ABOUT IF YOU

179
00:08:42,267 --> 00:08:44,067
WOULD STUFF AND MOUNT HER.

180
00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:45,100
>> YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

181
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,333
IT'S ILLEGAL, FOR ONE THING.

182
00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:48,900
>> WELL, WE HAVE CALLS IN TO

183
00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:50,767
THE BOARD OF HEALTH, AND WE'RE

184
00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:51,867
CHECKING ON THE LEGALITIES OF

185
00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:53,333
IT, BUT WE'RE JUST SEEING ON A

186
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,967
MORAL ISSUE IF YOU COULD DO THAT

187
00:08:55,967 --> 00:08:58,400
OR YOU'D BE WILLING TO DO THAT.

188
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,433
>> I WOULDN'T HAVE THE FIRST

189
00:09:00,433 --> 00:09:03,533
I...

190
00:09:03,533 --> 00:09:05,067
MOUNTING WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM.

191
00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:07,367
IT WOULD BE CURING THE SKIN.

192
00:09:07,367 --> 00:09:08,667
>> WE WANT HER IN A REALLY

193
00:09:08,667 --> 00:09:10,067
NATURAL POSITION BECAUSE OF THE

194
00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:11,367
GRANDCHILDREN.

195
00:09:11,367 --> 00:09:12,267
>> OH, GOD, YOU KNOW.

196
00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:13,067
I DON'T KNOW.

197
00:09:13,067 --> 00:09:15,400
THAT WOULD BE REALLY SOMETHING.

198
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,133
THE FACE WOULD BE SO HARD TO DO.

199
00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:20,067
>> RIGHT.

200
00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:21,067
>> I CAN'T IMAGINE.

201
00:09:21,067 --> 00:09:22,633
HER EYES WOULD BE REALLY--

202
00:09:22,633 --> 00:09:23,400
>> WELL, IF HER EYES LOOK FUNNY,

203
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,600
WE COULD JUST HAVE THOSE--YOUR

204
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,567
SUNGLASSES.

205
00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:26,500
>> I'VE HAD A LOT OF WEIRD

206
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:27,933
THINGS IN 22 YEARS, BUT NEVER

207
00:09:27,933 --> 00:09:29,900
HAD THAT YET.

208
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:33,867
>> HI. HOW ARE YOU?

209
00:09:33,867 --> 00:09:34,600
>> FINE. HOW YOU DOING?

210
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:35,267
>> GOOD.

211
00:09:35,267 --> 00:09:35,967
>> GOOD.

212
00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:36,600
>> MY NAME'S JOHNNY.

213
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:37,633
THIS IS MY GRANDMOTHER DOTTIE.

214
00:09:37,633 --> 00:09:38,367
>> HI.

215
00:09:38,367 --> 00:09:39,233
>> MY BROTHER JEFF.

216
00:09:39,233 --> 00:09:40,400
>> PLEASED TO MEET Y'ALL.

217
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,733
>> MY GRANDMOTHER--SHE DOESN'T

218
00:09:41,733 --> 00:09:45,433
HAVE AN AWFUL LOT OF YEARS LEFT,

219
00:09:45,433 --> 00:09:49,833
AND IT IS HER WISH AND THE

220
00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:51,967
FAMILY'S WISH THAT WE'RE GOING

221
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,700
TO FORGO THE REGULAR BURIAL

222
00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:56,533
PROCEDURE AND SEE IF YOU GUYS

223
00:09:56,533 --> 00:10:00,567
WOULD MAYBE STUFF AND MOUNT MY

224
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:01,367
GRANDMOTHER HERE.

225
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,400
>> HI, DOTTIE.

226
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,800
OK, THERE IS A SENSITIVE MATTER

227
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:04,967
AND THE LEGALITIES--I'M NOT

228
00:10:04,967 --> 00:10:06,300
AWARE OF THE LEGALITIES OF

229
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,233
PEOPLE.

230
00:10:07,233 --> 00:10:08,333
LET ME GET GARY THE OWNER OUT

231
00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:09,033
HERE.

232
00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:10,367
HE'S BEEN IN THE BUSINESS NOW

233
00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:11,267
FOR A LONG TIME.

234
00:10:11,267 --> 00:10:12,733
HE MIGHT HAVE HAD THAT REQUEST.

235
00:10:12,733 --> 00:10:13,600
>> THIS MOOSE--HOW NATURAL IT

236
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:14,367
LOOKS.

237
00:10:14,367 --> 00:10:16,533
I'D LIKE TO CAPTURE SOMETHING

238
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,067
LIKE THIS FOR GRANDMA.

239
00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:19,833
>> I'D LIKE TO SEE WHAT PRICE

240
00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:21,367
YOU GUYS WOULD CHARGE.

241
00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:22,167
>> YOU'RE PROBABLY LOOKING

242
00:10:22,167 --> 00:10:24,167
AROUND 20,000 OR SOMETHING.

243
00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:25,267
>> AND 20 GRAND IS, LIKE, A

244
00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:26,767
ROUGH ESTIMATE FOR RIGHT NOW?

245
00:10:26,767 --> 00:10:27,933
>> VERY ROUGH.

246
00:10:27,933 --> 00:10:28,633
>> VERY ROUGH.

247
00:10:28,633 --> 00:10:29,700
>> NOW, IS THERE A SMELL GOING

248
00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:32,267
TO BE INVOLVED WITH...I MEAN,

249
00:10:32,267 --> 00:10:33,600
DOWN THE LINE?

250
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,733
>> YOU'D KEEP HER DUSTED AND

251
00:10:34,733 --> 00:10:35,400
STUFF.

252
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:36,700
>> OH, OF COURSE.

253
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:37,733
>> [LAUGHING]

254
00:10:37,733 --> 00:10:38,667
SORRY, MOM.

255
00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:39,533
>> I'M SORRY.

256
00:10:39,533 --> 00:10:40,300
>> THANK YOU.

257
00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:41,367
>> WHAT HAPPENS TO HER ENTRAILS

258
00:10:41,367 --> 00:10:43,433
ONCE THAT YOU...

259
00:10:43,433 --> 00:10:44,867
>> WE DON'T EVEN DEAL WITH THAT.

260
00:10:44,867 --> 00:10:45,700
>> I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO

261
00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:47,100
HEAR THE DETAILS.

262
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,167
>> YEAH, I'M SORRY.

263
00:10:48,167 --> 00:10:50,033
LET'S JUST GET THE CARD AND GO.

264
00:10:50,033 --> 00:10:50,667
>> WE GAVE HIM 3.

265
00:10:50,667 --> 00:10:51,367
>> OK, GOOD.

266
00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:52,133
>> DOTTIE, IT WAS A PLEASURE

267
00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:52,867
MEETING YOU.

268
00:10:52,867 --> 00:10:53,567
>> NICE MEETING YOU.

269
00:10:53,567 --> 00:10:56,200
>> NICE MEETING YOU.

270
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,767
>> YOU'VE GOT BALLS OF BIG

271
00:10:57,767 --> 00:10:59,167
STEEL, AND YOU AIN'T TAKING

272
00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:00,267
[BEEP] FROM NOBODY.

273
00:11:00,267 --> 00:11:01,133
>> NO [BEEP] [BEEP].

274
00:11:01,133 --> 00:11:04,433
>> NO, YOU AIN'T TAKING [BEEP].

275
00:11:04,433 --> 00:11:06,767
>> THE [BEEP] HAS HIT THE FAN.

276
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:07,667
>> WHAT, HELL.

277
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,333
OH!

278
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:09,367
>> OH!

279
00:11:09,367 --> 00:11:11,367
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

280
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:18,533
>> * THERE'S NO STOPPING THINGS

281
00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:22,167
FROM HAPPENING

282
00:11:22,167 --> 00:11:23,300
YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP IT HERE

283
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:27,800
[INDISTINCT]

284
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:32,200
BIG TIME, BIG TIME

285
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:33,533
WELL, THE KID WON'T STOP, BUT

286
00:11:33,533 --> 00:11:37,933
IT'S REALLY HOPPING

287
00:11:37,933 --> 00:11:42,133
BIG TIME, BIG TIME *

288
00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:43,600
>> OH!

289
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:44,533
OH!

290
00:11:44,533 --> 00:11:45,333
OH!

291
00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:46,633
>> * 1, 2, 3, 4

292
00:11:46,633 --> 00:11:50,467
WHO YOU GONNA HURT SOME MORE?

293
00:11:50,467 --> 00:11:51,800
4, 5, 6, 7

294
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,500
ALL [INDISTINCT] GO TO HEAVEN

295
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,533
THERE'S NO STOPPING THINGS FROM

296
00:11:57,533 --> 00:12:00,800
HAPPENING

297
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,067
YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP IT HERE

298
00:12:02,067 --> 00:12:03,767
[INDISTINCT] *

299
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,600
>> COME BACK HERE!

300
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:30,433
GET BACK HERE!

301
00:12:30,433 --> 00:12:32,367
GET BACK HERE!

302
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:34,367
COME BACK HERE!

303
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,700
>> I'M GOING TO NEED YOU TO, UH,

304
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:52,300
CHEAT YOUR ASS A LITTLE

305
00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:54,400
THIS WAY.

306
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,133
WHAT DOES YOUR ASS SAY?

307
00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:57,167
>> YOUR NAME.

308
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,333
I GOT "YOUR NAME" TATTOOED

309
00:12:58,333 --> 00:12:59,633
ON MY ASS.

310
00:12:59,633 --> 00:13:01,700
YEAH.

311
00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:08,133
[LAUGHTER]

312
00:13:08,133 --> 00:13:09,800
>> OK.

313
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,500
HERE WE GO.

314
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:17,433
>> THIS IS SO GAY, A GAY JOKE.

315
00:13:17,433 --> 00:13:20,333
>> THAT DOES IT.

316
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,633
I FOUND MY WAY.

317
00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:26,067
>> YOU'RE NOT CIRCUMCISED?

318
00:13:26,067 --> 00:13:27,067
>> NO, DUDE.

319
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,100
I THINK I'M JUST CURVED AROUND.

320
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:32,200
>> OH, OK.

321
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:32,933
>> THIS ONE'S REALLY GOING TO

322
00:13:32,933 --> 00:13:33,600
HURT.

323
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:34,567
IT'S RIGHT ON THE CRACK.

324
00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:35,700
>> OH, DUDE, BE CAREFUL, DUDE.

325
00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:38,800
BE CAREFUL.

326
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:43,567
[LAUGHING]

327
00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:46,533
>> I'M TALKING TO IT.

328
00:13:46,533 --> 00:13:47,533
>> THE FIRST ONES ARE GETTING

329
00:13:47,533 --> 00:13:48,333
SORE.

330
00:13:48,333 --> 00:13:51,700
AAH! HA HA HA!

331
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:52,767
THEY'RE NOT FEELING SO BAD

332
00:13:52,767 --> 00:13:57,433
GOING IN.

333
00:13:57,433 --> 00:13:58,533
>> AHHH, YEAH.

334
00:13:58,533 --> 00:13:59,500
>> OK, NOW TURN AROUND.

335
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:01,833
LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT.

336
00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:06,400
[LAUGHTER]

337
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,100
>> OH, GOD.

338
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:07,767
>> NO, WAIT, WAIT.

339
00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:08,833
WE GOT TO TAPE THE WARNING ON.

340
00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:10,067
>> YOU CAN STICK IT IN HERE,

341
00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:10,967
DUDE.

342
00:14:10,967 --> 00:14:13,100
YOU CAN STICK IT RIGHT THERE.

343
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:13,867
[CLICK]

344
00:14:13,867 --> 00:14:16,800
>> OH!

345
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,567
WELL, I MEAN, THIS HURTS, YOU

346
00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:19,400
KNOW?

347
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,767
[LAUGHTER]

348
00:14:21,767 --> 00:14:23,467
>> [INDISTINCT]

349
00:14:23,467 --> 00:14:25,100
>> COME ON. DON'T DO THAT.

350
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:26,767
COME ON. COME ON. STOP.

351
00:14:26,767 --> 00:14:27,567
WILL YOU STOP?||||||||||||||||||

352
00:14:40,067 --> 00:14:45,833
>> [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

353
00:14:45,833 --> 00:14:47,400
>> EVERYBODY READY.

354
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:51,733
GOING.

355
00:14:51,733 --> 00:14:53,967
>> SO, WE'VE DRIVEN 5 HOURS FROM

356
00:14:53,967 --> 00:14:54,667
PHILADELPHIA.

357
00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:55,733
IT SHOULD HAVE TAKEN US 3,

358
00:14:55,733 --> 00:14:58,167
JAIME, AND WE'RE IN

359
00:14:58,167 --> 00:14:58,967
CONNECTICUT, AND WE'RE LOOKING

360
00:14:58,967 --> 00:15:01,400
FOR MIANUS.

361
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,200
CAN YOU POINT ME TOWARDS

362
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:02,933
MIANUS?

363
00:15:02,933 --> 00:15:05,333
>> YEAH.

364
00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:06,633
JUST GO DOWN THE HILL AND MAKE A

365
00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:07,467
RIGHT TURN.

366
00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:08,633
THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO.

367
00:15:08,633 --> 00:15:10,733
>> IS MIANUS A BIG PLACE?

368
00:15:10,733 --> 00:15:12,733
>> WELL, I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE.

369
00:15:12,733 --> 00:15:14,267
IT IS DOWN THERE, BUT I'VE NEVER

370
00:15:14,267 --> 00:15:15,400
BEEN THERE.

371
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:16,333
>> [BEEP]

372
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:20,333
DAMN, MAN.

373
00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:21,633
LOOK, THERE'S A TEPEE IN

374
00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:23,767
MIANUS.

375
00:15:23,767 --> 00:15:24,867
THERE'S A BIG RED TRUCK IN

376
00:15:24,867 --> 00:15:26,600
MIANUS.

377
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:27,267
AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT?

378
00:15:27,267 --> 00:15:28,433
THERE'S A GENERAL STORE IN

379
00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:30,767
MIANUS.

380
00:15:30,767 --> 00:15:31,933
DO YOU SELL A LOT OF CHOCOLATE

381
00:15:31,933 --> 00:15:32,967
MILK IN MIANUS?

382
00:15:32,967 --> 00:15:33,900
>> MM-HMM.

383
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:34,833
>> WHAT'S THE BEST MEAT IN

384
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:35,933
MIANUS?

385
00:15:35,933 --> 00:15:37,733
>> WELL, THERE'S BANGERS,

386
00:15:37,733 --> 00:15:39,200
THERE'S STEAK AND KIDNEY PIES,

387
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,967
STEAK AND BANGER PIES.

388
00:15:40,967 --> 00:15:41,900
>> THERE'S A LITTLE JACK RUSSELL

389
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,200
TERRIER IN MIANUS.

390
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:47,633
LOOK, RICK'S PUMPING IN MIANUS.

391
00:15:47,633 --> 00:15:48,767
THERE'S A SEWAGE PLANT IN

392
00:15:48,767 --> 00:15:51,933
MIANUS, AND IT STINKS.

393
00:15:51,933 --> 00:15:53,333
WHAT'S THE ODDEST THING YOU'VE

394
00:15:53,333 --> 00:15:55,100
FOUND IN THE SEWAGE IN MIANUS?

395
00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:56,200
>> LEAVES AND THINGS, AND

396
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:58,333
OCCASIONALLY A CRAWFISH OR TWO

397
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,667
WILL POP UP IN THE SCREEN.

398
00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:02,967
>> DO YOU EVER CATCH ANY BROWN

399
00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:04,500
TROUT IN MIANUS?

400
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:05,333
>> I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY.

401
00:16:05,333 --> 00:16:06,133
>> WHAT'S THERE TO DO FOR FUN IN

402
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:07,133
MIANUS?

403
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,467
>> IT'S A PRETTY SMALL TOWN.

404
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,900
A BUNCH OF FAMOUS PEOPLE LIVE IN

405
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:12,267
MANSIONS THAT ARE SURROUNDED BY

406
00:16:12,267 --> 00:16:13,067
FENCES.

407
00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:14,067
>> THERE'S A LOT OF FAMOUS

408
00:16:14,067 --> 00:16:15,100
PEOPLE THAT LIVE IN MIANUS?

409
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,433
>> MEL GIBSON HAS A HOUSE UP

410
00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:17,067
HERE.

411
00:16:17,067 --> 00:16:18,067
>> MEL GIBSON HAS A HOUSE IN

412
00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:18,767
MIANUS?

413
00:16:18,767 --> 00:16:19,533
>> WHOOPI GOLDBERG, I BELIEVE,

414
00:16:19,533 --> 00:16:20,700
HAS A HOUSE UP HERE.

415
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:21,600
>> OH, I JUST LOVE WHOOPI

416
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:22,233
GOLDBERG.

417
00:16:22,233 --> 00:16:23,067
THAT'S COOL.

418
00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,100
A LOT OF WEALTHY PEOPLE IN

419
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:24,767
MIANUS.

420
00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:25,433
>> YEAH.

421
00:16:25,433 --> 00:16:27,367
I WISH I COULD LIVE HERE.

422
00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:28,567
>> YOU DON'T LIVE IN MIANUS?

423
00:16:28,567 --> 00:16:29,567
>> I LIVE JUST OUTSIDE OF--

424
00:16:29,567 --> 00:16:30,600
>> YOU COMMUTE TO MIANUS?

425
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:31,500
>> YEAH, I COMMUTE IN.

426
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:32,933
>> WOW. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

427
00:16:32,933 --> 00:16:33,700
I THINK WE GOT EVERYTHING.

428
00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:35,300
THAT WAS GREAT.

429
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,400
>> GET BACK HERE!

430
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,733
COME HERE!

431
00:16:43,733 --> 00:16:50,067
YOU LITTLE BASTARD, COME HERE!

432
00:16:50,067 --> 00:16:52,933
GET BACK HERE!

433
00:16:52,933 --> 00:16:54,167
>> YOU'RE JUST FILLED WITH

434
00:16:54,167 --> 00:16:55,933
EXCUSES.

435
00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:57,067
IT'S LIKE A JOKE.

436
00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:57,833
I MIGHT AS WELL JUST LOOK AT

437
00:16:57,833 --> 00:16:59,067
THIS LIKE JUST JOKES I CAN JUST

438
00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:00,267
LAUGH AT.

439
00:17:00,267 --> 00:17:01,200
IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO STOP ME

440
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,067
FROM GETTING MAD, AND THAT'S

441
00:17:03,067 --> 00:17:03,733
WHAT I'M GETTING.

442
00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:06,067
I'M GETTING VERY, VERY ANGRY.

443
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,067
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD GET?

444
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,267
YOU SHOULD GET A GLASS STOMACH.

445
00:17:09,267 --> 00:17:10,067
THAT WAY YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY

446
00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:11,200
ABOUT PULLING YOUR HEAD OUT OF

447
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,200
YOUR ASS.

448
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,100
YOU CAN SEE WHERE YOU'RE GOING

449
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:13,867
THEN.

450
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,200
MAYBE YOU'LL GET SOMETHING DONE.

451
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,933
THERE'S NOT EVEN ANY TONER IN

452
00:17:16,933 --> 00:17:18,567
THE COPYING MACHINE.

453
00:17:18,567 --> 00:17:21,067
THERE'S NO COFFEE, NOTHING.

454
00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:22,267
NO!

455
00:17:22,267 --> 00:17:24,967
I'M SERIOUS!

456
00:17:24,967 --> 00:17:26,600
UGGGGHHH!

457
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,300
AAHHHHH!

458
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:28,967
AAH!

459
00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:31,233
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE NOW?

460
00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:34,100
I'M BLEEDING OUT MY EAR,

461
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:36,300
SO ANGRY YOU'VE MADE ME!

462
00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:38,533
AAH!

463
00:17:38,533 --> 00:17:39,433
WAIT TILL I GET BACK TO THE

464
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:40,767
OFFICE!

465
00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:42,367
AHHH! YOU'RE FIRED!

466
00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:45,367
JUST PACK UP YOUR STUFF AND GO!

467
00:17:45,367 --> 00:17:47,933
AAH!

468
00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:50,967
[HEAVY BREATHING]

469
00:17:50,967 --> 00:17:53,100
[ALARM BELL RINGING]

470
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:55,133
[SIRENS]

471
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,067
>> ARE YOU NEWS OR WHAT?

472
00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:03,067
>> [INDISTINCT]

473
00:18:03,067 --> 00:18:04,567
[SIREN]

474
00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:06,767
>> WHAT HAP--WHAT DID YOU SEE?

475
00:18:06,767 --> 00:18:08,100
>> WELL, HE THREW HIS COCKEYED

476
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:09,133
CELL PHONE DOWN.

477
00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:09,933
THE FIRST THING I KNOW, HE JUST

478
00:18:09,933 --> 00:18:11,667
WENT CRAZY.

479
00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:12,333
>> IT LOOKED LIKE THERE

480
00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:13,467
WAS BLOOD.

481
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,633
>> IT LOOKS LIKE IT TO ME.

482
00:18:15,633 --> 00:18:16,600
NOW THEY GOT--

483
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,267
>> YOU THINK HE'S ALL RIGHT?

484
00:18:18,267 --> 00:18:19,100
>> I DON'T KNOW.

485
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:20,233
GOOD GRIEF.

486
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:21,667
MAKING A NUISANCE OF HISSELF.

487
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,500
>> DO YOU THINK HE'S HURT?

488
00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:24,767
>> IN THE HEAD HE IS--

489
00:18:24,767 --> 00:18:28,433
NOT OUTSIDE BUT IN.

490
00:18:28,433 --> 00:18:33,767
[MONKEY SCREECHING]

491
00:18:33,767 --> 00:18:35,733
[CAR HORN HONKING]

492
00:19:04,933 --> 00:19:07,467
>> I'M BAM MARGERA, AND I FEEL

493
00:19:07,467 --> 00:19:08,833
LIKE KICKING MY DAD'S ASS

494
00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:10,300
ALL DAY TODAY.

495
00:19:14,833 --> 00:19:15,900
>> HUH?

496
00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:16,833
SON?

497
00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:19,533
SON.

498
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,467
>> COME ON, BAM.

499
00:19:21,467 --> 00:19:22,267
>> YOU LITTLE WUSS.

500
00:19:22,267 --> 00:19:25,433
>> JERK. STOP IT!

501
00:19:25,433 --> 00:19:26,100
>> COME ON. DON'T DO THAT.

502
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:27,833
[INDISTINCT]

503
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,367
WOULD YOU STOP?

504
00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:31,533
HEY, STOP IT.

505
00:19:31,533 --> 00:19:33,100
I AIN'T HITTING YOU.

506
00:19:36,433 --> 00:19:37,800
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

507
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:38,500
COME ON, BAM.

508
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,900
YOU KNOW MY STOMACH'S SORE.

509
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:41,700
JUST STOP.

510
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:43,700
IT'S ENOUGH.

511
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:46,167
BOO, DID YOU JUST CALL ME?

512
00:19:46,167 --> 00:19:47,367
HOW COME YOU HUNG UP?

513
00:19:47,367 --> 00:19:49,367
STOP, BAM. I'M ON THE PHONE.

514
00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:53,133
STOP IT!

515
00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:53,900
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO KICK THE

516
00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:54,867
CAMERA OUT OF HIS HAND.

517
00:19:54,867 --> 00:19:55,867
HOW'S HE LIKE THAT?

518
00:19:55,867 --> 00:19:57,067
BYE-BYE, CAMERA.

519
00:19:57,067 --> 00:19:59,300
WHOO-HOO! HA HA!

520
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,133
>> WHAT ARE MY CHANCES TODAY IN

521
00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,967
RIDING MR. MEAN?

522
00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:22,200
>> SLIM AND NONE.

523
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,400
>> SLIM AND NONE.

524
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,033
>> SLIM AND NONE.

525
00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:28,933
>> OH, GO. GO. GO OUTSIDE!

526
00:20:28,933 --> 00:20:30,233
GO OUTSIDE! GO OUTSIDE!

527
00:20:30,233 --> 00:20:31,767
GO OUTSIDE! GO OUTSIDE!

528
00:20:31,767 --> 00:20:33,100
>> WHY? WHAT'S THE MATTER?

529
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:34,400
>> GO OUTSIDE! GO OUTSIDE!

530
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,233
I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO LIVE

531
00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:37,133
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD AFTER THIS.

532
00:20:37,133 --> 00:20:40,800
>> [INDISTINCT]

533
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,133
[LAUGHTER]

534
00:20:43,133 --> 00:20:44,667
>> HEY, MONEY, YOU GOT AN EXTRA

535
00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:50,300
BANANA ON YOU?

536
00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:53,600
THANKS, BUDDY.

537
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:54,333
>> HEY, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME

538
00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:55,767
YOU HAD A TETANUS SHOT?

539
00:20:55,767 --> 00:20:56,933
>> ONE OF THE LAST DOZEN TIMES

540
00:20:56,933 --> 00:20:58,933
I'VE BEEN IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

541
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:06,133
>> [BEEP]

542
00:21:06,133 --> 00:21:08,200
>> OW! THAT'S SERIOUSLY KILLING!

543
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:16,233
>> [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

544
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:18,367
[PERSON WHOOPING]

545
00:21:22,833 --> 00:21:26,767
>> UHH!

546
00:21:26,767 --> 00:21:29,767
>> OW! MY HEAD!

547
00:21:29,767 --> 00:21:33,267
I HATE CELL PHONES!

548
00:21:33,267 --> 00:21:34,367
>> WHAT DO PEOPLE EAT

549
00:21:34,367 --> 00:21:36,100
THE MOST OF OUT OF MIANUS? 3 F1