1 00:00:14,103 --> 00:00:16,413 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. 2 00:00:16,482 --> 00:00:18,551 Welcome to Jackass. 3 00:00:42,965 --> 00:00:44,241 Come wash my back! 4 00:00:48,275 --> 00:00:50,000 We're here in Nipomo, California 5 00:00:50,068 --> 00:00:51,793 at the Gary Leffew Bull Riding School, 6 00:00:51,862 --> 00:00:54,034 where we're about to have a whole lot of fun 7 00:00:54,103 --> 00:00:56,275 with a bull named Mr. Mean. 8 00:00:56,344 --> 00:00:58,655 Just how mean is Mr. Mean? 9 00:00:58,724 --> 00:01:00,344 He's the meanest thing I've ever seen. 10 00:01:03,344 --> 00:01:06,275 I seen a guy get on him one day. 11 00:01:06,344 --> 00:01:09,206 And he flung the bullfighter at least 15 feet in the air. 12 00:01:09,275 --> 00:01:10,655 He's a mean son of a bitch. 13 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:12,793 . 14 00:01:12,862 --> 00:01:14,379 How many men has he hurt? 15 00:01:14,448 --> 00:01:16,000 Quite a few. He's banged up quite a few. 16 00:01:16,068 --> 00:01:18,620 Have you seen anyone get injured by Mr. Mean? 17 00:01:18,689 --> 00:01:20,137 Oh, yeah. Me included. 18 00:01:22,931 --> 00:01:25,689 -Mr. Mean is a big bucking bull. 19 00:01:25,758 --> 00:01:27,620 How much would Mr. Mean weigh? 20 00:01:27,689 --> 00:01:29,275 About 1,800 pounds. 21 00:01:29,344 --> 00:01:31,551 What are my chances today in riding Mr. Mean? 22 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,034 -Slim and none. -Slim and none. 23 00:01:37,103 --> 00:01:38,344 Slim and none. 24 00:01:38,413 --> 00:01:39,758 I don't think you have a chance in hell. 25 00:01:39,827 --> 00:01:41,724 -I think that, too. 26 00:01:41,793 --> 00:01:44,068 Now that is a lot of bull. 27 00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:47,827 What are any final words for me before I get on Mr. Mean? 28 00:01:47,896 --> 00:01:49,827 If you don't hit the ground running, 29 00:01:49,896 --> 00:01:51,724 you're not gonna have a chance on it. 30 00:01:54,862 --> 00:01:55,965 Pay your insurance? 31 00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:57,103 -Good luck. -All right. 32 00:01:58,413 --> 00:01:59,896 You look good, man. You look good. 33 00:02:12,344 --> 00:02:13,655 . 34 00:02:23,137 --> 00:02:24,827 Get him up here. Get him up. 35 00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:27,758 Get him up, come on. 36 00:02:37,827 --> 00:02:40,482 -That was cool, man. 37 00:02:45,482 --> 00:02:47,000 How did it look? 38 00:02:47,068 --> 00:02:48,448 Scary as all hell. 39 00:02:48,517 --> 00:02:50,827 It was scary as all hell. 40 00:02:50,896 --> 00:02:53,793 So he was trying to hook me in the shoot, 41 00:02:53,862 --> 00:02:55,620 and I was getting really worried. 42 00:02:55,689 --> 00:02:57,827 Hey... there's a catch pin out there. 43 00:02:57,896 --> 00:02:59,068 How long did I stay on him? 44 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,758 For about two, three seconds. 45 00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:25,793 ... 46 00:03:27,068 --> 00:03:29,172 We have to live in this town. 47 00:03:29,241 --> 00:03:30,827 We have to live here. 48 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:46,793 Today we will joust! 49 00:03:50,137 --> 00:03:52,172 Sir Bamelot has committed treason. 50 00:03:52,241 --> 00:03:54,034 He has entered my land 51 00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:56,689 like he has entered my ass, 52 00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,551 and this is not permitted. 53 00:03:58,620 --> 00:04:00,310 I was just hanging out back there 54 00:04:00,379 --> 00:04:01,448 eating a meat pie. 55 00:04:01,517 --> 00:04:02,689 Next thing you know, 56 00:04:02,758 --> 00:04:04,103 some guy's freaking out about nothing. 57 00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:17,413 And what else is not permitted today 58 00:04:17,482 --> 00:04:20,448 is what he's attempted to do with my midwife-- 59 00:04:20,517 --> 00:04:23,758 commit a hideous act of Sussex. 60 00:04:23,827 --> 00:04:25,310 You're thinking of somebody else, buddy. 61 00:04:25,379 --> 00:04:26,655 Wasn't me. 62 00:04:39,724 --> 00:04:42,793 And today, good sirs, 63 00:04:42,862 --> 00:04:45,586 I will stick my lance far beyond 64 00:04:45,655 --> 00:04:48,379 where the light of our world shines, 65 00:04:48,448 --> 00:04:50,482 deep into the colon of the enemy. 66 00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:54,551 Sir Bamelot, you will feel a lot of my lance in your ass. 67 00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:56,620 So prepare, good sir, 68 00:04:56,689 --> 00:05:01,793 for this is your last encounter with Sir Brandon of Lancaster. 69 00:05:14,172 --> 00:05:15,551 . 70 00:05:16,965 --> 00:05:19,758 The price for treason is high 71 00:05:19,827 --> 00:05:21,310 and it's paid today. 72 00:05:28,448 --> 00:05:29,793 What we're wanting to do with him, 73 00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:32,586 we're wanting to like shave it on the sides, 74 00:05:32,655 --> 00:05:34,862 but not-- but not to the skin, 75 00:05:34,931 --> 00:05:36,517 but just leave about that much hair. 76 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:39,379 And on the top, we want to cut it about that long 77 00:05:39,448 --> 00:05:41,896 and leave all this in the back, 78 00:05:41,965 --> 00:05:43,517 leave all the length. 79 00:05:43,586 --> 00:05:45,000 If that's all right. 80 00:05:45,068 --> 00:05:46,620 Your standard mullet. 81 00:05:46,689 --> 00:05:49,379 Yeah, your basic mullet haircut. 82 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,379 Since we're kinda new in town, 83 00:05:55,448 --> 00:05:57,344 we're looking for like a good country-western bar. 84 00:05:57,413 --> 00:05:58,965 Do you know one around here? 85 00:05:59,034 --> 00:06:00,931 -I don't know. -No? 86 00:06:03,034 --> 00:06:04,793 It's a very popular haircut right now. 87 00:06:04,862 --> 00:06:07,241 I want to get on the bandwagon. 88 00:06:07,310 --> 00:06:10,965 You're looking good. 89 00:06:11,034 --> 00:06:13,517 -damn. -You look magnificent. 90 00:06:13,586 --> 00:06:15,137 damn. 91 00:06:16,482 --> 00:06:18,448 Wow. 92 00:06:18,517 --> 00:06:20,655 There's the little rabbit looking in it. 93 00:06:20,724 --> 00:06:22,620 You're taking one for the team, you know. 94 00:06:22,689 --> 00:06:24,551 Don't make me laugh. 95 00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:26,241 It's gonna mess up. 96 00:06:28,482 --> 00:06:31,000 -Shave his eyebrows, too. -No. 97 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,655 How's it look, John? 98 00:06:50,517 --> 00:06:52,068 Does it look cool? 99 00:06:52,137 --> 00:06:55,206 I think you could win a Billy Ray Cyrus look-alike contest. 100 00:06:55,275 --> 00:06:56,931 How's the length look back there? 101 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,241 Looks great now. 102 00:06:58,310 --> 00:07:00,206 You couldn't look any more handsome. 103 00:07:08,172 --> 00:07:10,862 -Thanks a lot, man. -Thank you very much. 104 00:07:23,241 --> 00:07:24,896 Which would you prefer? 105 00:07:24,965 --> 00:07:26,482 Is there meat in the second one? 106 00:07:26,551 --> 00:07:28,379 Hm, no, there isn't meat in the second one, 107 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:31,379 but the first one is totally made of meat. 108 00:07:35,034 --> 00:07:36,310 Ooh, thank you for your time. 109 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,241 . 110 00:08:08,827 --> 00:08:09,965 Oh! 111 00:08:29,482 --> 00:08:30,551 Isn't that weird? 112 00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:31,862 That was way weird. 113 00:08:31,931 --> 00:08:33,793 -Ah. 114 00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:48,551 Oh, yeah, this is gonna work. 115 00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:50,793 We're gonna go feed some pigeons and ducks. 116 00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:52,758 -Really? -Yeah. 117 00:08:52,827 --> 00:08:54,758 Can I join them? 118 00:08:54,827 --> 00:08:56,068 -Oh! -Hey! 119 00:08:56,137 --> 00:08:57,586 -Look out. -There you go. 120 00:08:57,655 --> 00:09:00,482 We have a bird-watching organization. 121 00:09:00,551 --> 00:09:03,517 -Oh, really? -Yeah, it's called BITCH, 122 00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,068 Birds in the City of Hollywood. 123 00:09:05,137 --> 00:09:07,620 -Watch your private parts. -Yes, ma'am, we will try. 124 00:09:07,689 --> 00:09:09,034 I will mind them. 125 00:09:11,241 --> 00:09:12,620 Here, birdy, birdy. 126 00:09:16,793 --> 00:09:18,448 Did I lead 'em over towards the geese? 127 00:09:22,206 --> 00:09:24,068 Birdy, birdy, birdy. 128 00:09:24,137 --> 00:09:26,310 Are-- are they eating any stuff off of me? 129 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,206 Jeez, this was worse than the squid suit. 130 00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:42,172 Yo, I have the perfect idea for a skit. 131 00:09:42,241 --> 00:09:44,551 -What? -You sitting here 132 00:09:44,620 --> 00:09:46,172 and then... 133 00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:53,103 Hello, I am Pontius the Barbarian. 134 00:09:53,172 --> 00:09:55,137 And today we are at this Renaissance fair 135 00:09:55,206 --> 00:09:57,379 to do some dragon slaying. 136 00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:05,931 Hey, wenches. 137 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,620 Ouch. 138 00:10:07,689 --> 00:10:09,724 -They're royalty. -Oh-ho. 139 00:10:09,793 --> 00:10:11,000 It's not a problem. 140 00:10:13,448 --> 00:10:15,137 Out of my way, old man. 141 00:10:15,206 --> 00:10:17,551 Sir, I am a knight of this realm and in peril. 142 00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:19,896 You should insult a friend of mine by calling him an old man, 143 00:10:19,965 --> 00:10:22,241 you shall speak unto me and I shall speak harshly to you. 144 00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:25,344 And my words shall carry more weight that your armor. 145 00:10:25,413 --> 00:10:29,344 -Could I trouble you for a-- -Do not insult yourself 146 00:10:29,413 --> 00:10:33,172 with your lack of intelligence and your ignorance. 147 00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:34,965 Could I trouble you for a kiss, sir? 148 00:10:39,068 --> 00:10:40,862 Mmm... 149 00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,655 Hey, can I try some of those grapes? 150 00:10:48,586 --> 00:10:49,620 Those aren't real. 151 00:10:49,689 --> 00:10:51,000 Can I have some of that jerky? 152 00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:59,689 Hear ye, hear ye! 153 00:10:59,758 --> 00:11:03,620 I'd like to give a demonstration on how you kill a dragon. 154 00:11:03,689 --> 00:11:07,000 First thing you gotta remember is the mouth. 155 00:11:07,068 --> 00:11:08,689 These guys can breathe fire. 156 00:11:08,758 --> 00:11:10,620 So stay away from it. 157 00:11:18,103 --> 00:11:19,689 I'm rooting for the dragon! 158 00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:43,448 There he is! 159 00:11:43,517 --> 00:11:44,965 Kill him with your bow! 160 00:11:45,034 --> 00:11:48,068 Get the baby dragon! Get him, come on! 161 00:11:48,137 --> 00:11:49,862 Slay the baby dragon! 162 00:11:49,931 --> 00:11:52,000 Slay the dragon! 163 00:12:17,344 --> 00:12:19,241 He's dead. 164 00:12:19,310 --> 00:12:21,172 Bring out your dead! 165 00:12:22,413 --> 00:12:25,000 My God. What the hell? 166 00:12:34,241 --> 00:12:35,344 Let's go in the sporting goods store 167 00:12:35,413 --> 00:12:36,413 and play a little basketball. 168 00:12:38,413 --> 00:12:40,689 Game on. Jump ball. 169 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,275 Ready? 170 00:12:54,137 --> 00:12:55,482 -Oh. 171 00:12:55,551 --> 00:12:57,310 -Foul! Foul! -That's a penalty. 172 00:13:01,172 --> 00:13:03,655 All right, that's enough. 173 00:13:03,724 --> 00:13:05,310 I don't want you in here. 174 00:13:05,379 --> 00:13:07,344 Either get out of here or I'm gonna do something 175 00:13:07,413 --> 00:13:08,689 with that whistle you're not gonna appreciate. 176 00:13:08,758 --> 00:13:10,000 So please leave the store. 177 00:13:10,068 --> 00:13:11,379 -This is-- -I want you out of the store. 178 00:13:11,448 --> 00:13:12,793 Now. 179 00:13:12,862 --> 00:13:14,551 We got a serious game of one-and-one. 180 00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:15,896 Get out of here. 181 00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:18,206 Get out of here now. I'm serious. 182 00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:19,275 Get out. 183 00:13:19,344 --> 00:13:20,620 -The ball, ball. -Out. 184 00:13:20,689 --> 00:13:21,896 We got no ball. 185 00:13:21,965 --> 00:13:23,965 -All right, that's game. 186 00:13:24,034 --> 00:13:25,379 Good game. Thank you. 187 00:13:25,448 --> 00:13:27,586 -Is there any water here? -Now, go. 188 00:13:27,655 --> 00:13:30,068 Hey, where's next? Good game. 189 00:13:35,344 --> 00:13:37,000 It's a vicious man-eating snake. 190 00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,758 Kosick just asked if it was poisonous. 191 00:13:41,827 --> 00:13:43,344 There's three. 192 00:13:43,413 --> 00:13:44,793 And we're gonna jump off the side. 193 00:13:49,965 --> 00:13:52,275 Get the away from me! 194 00:13:52,344 --> 00:13:54,517 you guys. 195 00:14:07,965 --> 00:14:09,896 Today we're going after the Great White tiger shark. 196 00:14:09,965 --> 00:14:12,827 It's one of the most fiercest sharks in the ocean. 197 00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:44,689 -Hi. -Hi. 198 00:14:46,034 --> 00:14:48,758 Wait, you cannot come in like that. Go. 199 00:14:48,827 --> 00:14:50,448 -What? -You cannot-- 200 00:14:50,517 --> 00:14:51,793 Go put on pants. Go! 201 00:14:51,862 --> 00:14:53,620 What? Can I just get some water? 202 00:14:53,689 --> 00:14:55,586 -No, you can't. -Please? 203 00:14:55,655 --> 00:14:57,413 I'm super thirsty. It's super hot outside. 204 00:14:57,482 --> 00:15:00,241 No, no, you can't. Go put pants on. 205 00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:01,517 I just-- the water's right here. 206 00:15:01,586 --> 00:15:03,172 I don't care. Go out! 207 00:15:03,241 --> 00:15:04,758 Excuse you. 208 00:15:05,931 --> 00:15:08,137 Excuse you. Go out! 209 00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:09,482 -I have to leave? -Yes. 210 00:15:09,551 --> 00:15:11,448 -No water? -Put pants on. 211 00:15:13,448 --> 00:15:15,034 -Excuse me, go out. -Okay, okay. 212 00:15:15,103 --> 00:15:16,758 Shame on you. Go out, out. 213 00:15:16,827 --> 00:15:18,655 Okay, I'm sorry. No water, please? 214 00:15:18,724 --> 00:15:19,724 -No water. -Please! 215 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,724 Put pants on, then coming in. 216 00:15:21,793 --> 00:15:22,931 You gotta wear pants. 217 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,137 She's freaking out. I don't know. 218 00:15:25,206 --> 00:15:27,000 I can't believe that! 219 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,275 Yah! Yah! 220 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,275 My $500 sword is broken. 221 00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:53,793 Today we're going out to face the man-eating sharks. 222 00:15:53,862 --> 00:15:57,206 We want to show them that we're not gonna hurt them. 223 00:15:57,275 --> 00:16:00,517 They'll be our friends and let us give them a hug. 224 00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:02,310 I'll be honest with you, there is a certain 225 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:03,827 amount of element of danger here. 226 00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:06,379 These are wild animals. They are sharks. They do bite. 227 00:16:06,448 --> 00:16:08,068 And they have bitten people before. 228 00:16:08,137 --> 00:16:09,689 The main thing you've gotta watch out for 229 00:16:09,758 --> 00:16:11,103 is your hand movement. 230 00:16:11,172 --> 00:16:13,620 Don't pull on his tail or anything like that. 231 00:16:13,689 --> 00:16:16,586 So keep your hands pretty much in close or around. 232 00:16:16,655 --> 00:16:17,758 Keep it away from the mouth. 233 00:16:17,827 --> 00:16:18,965 Have you ever been bitten? 234 00:16:19,034 --> 00:16:20,448 Never by a shark. 235 00:16:20,517 --> 00:16:22,310 Steve-O, that's probably the most unattractive thing 236 00:16:22,379 --> 00:16:23,931 I've ever seen in my life. 237 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,724 You look like you have Jimmie Durante's nose 238 00:16:25,793 --> 00:16:27,620 -in your pants. 239 00:16:27,689 --> 00:16:31,172 Today we're going after the Great White tiger shark. 240 00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:33,551 It's one of the most fiercest sharks in the ocean. 241 00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:35,620 I'm making a little chum soup here for him. 242 00:16:37,689 --> 00:16:39,758 Let's start with the appetizer. 243 00:16:39,827 --> 00:16:41,413 Open your eyes. 244 00:16:47,793 --> 00:16:49,827 We're gonna try to give them a hug 245 00:16:49,896 --> 00:16:53,000 and love pats whenever we can. 246 00:16:53,068 --> 00:16:56,172 You look like a bi-curious superhero in that mask. 247 00:17:32,482 --> 00:17:35,620 I got mad humping footage, dude. 248 00:17:37,275 --> 00:17:39,758 I was getting some loving down there. 249 00:17:42,241 --> 00:17:44,517 -Is it gonna ruin your suit? -No, it won't-- . 250 00:17:45,724 --> 00:17:46,793 Happy birthday, Jess. 251 00:17:50,172 --> 00:17:51,482 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville 252 00:17:51,551 --> 00:17:53,172 and we're at the Sunset Ranch in Hollywood. 253 00:17:53,241 --> 00:17:56,068 We have over one ton of horse poo gathered 254 00:17:56,137 --> 00:17:59,310 in a ring about ten-by-ten feet. 255 00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,310 I'm about to draw names to see who will battle 256 00:18:01,379 --> 00:18:02,896 -each other in the poo joust. 257 00:18:02,965 --> 00:18:04,275 Okay, I'm gonna quickly run through the rules. 258 00:18:05,689 --> 00:18:07,034 There aren't any rules. 259 00:18:07,103 --> 00:18:08,931 Bunny versus Jeff. 260 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,241 Whoo! 261 00:18:10,310 --> 00:18:11,931 Come on, Jeff, don't let me down, dude. 262 00:18:15,448 --> 00:18:17,793 Ohh! 263 00:18:19,689 --> 00:18:22,517 All right, Kosick versus Wee Man. 264 00:18:22,586 --> 00:18:24,965 Hit him in the face. Get him, Rick. 265 00:18:36,275 --> 00:18:38,482 The next match is... 266 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,448 Knoxville, that would be me, 267 00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:41,689 and Cliver. 268 00:18:49,206 --> 00:18:50,344 Yeah! 269 00:18:52,137 --> 00:18:53,965 Winners bracket round one, 270 00:18:54,034 --> 00:18:55,551 Bunny versus Wee Man. 271 00:19:03,137 --> 00:19:05,586 Jeff versus Cliver, winners bracket round two. 272 00:19:12,034 --> 00:19:13,551 Wee Man versus Jeff. 273 00:19:22,241 --> 00:19:24,793 For the championship bout, 274 00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:28,517 the fences, the cinder blocks, the pole, everything is removed. 275 00:19:28,586 --> 00:19:29,931 It's mano a mano. 276 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,310 I will be reffing. This is winner take all. 277 00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:33,827 Here we go. 278 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,448 Oh! Oh! Oh, my God. 279 00:19:48,758 --> 00:19:50,655 One, two... 280 00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:53,517 -Yay, Bunny! 281 00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:57,724 ...all the guys at the gym that helped me out, spotted me. 282 00:19:57,793 --> 00:20:00,586 This trophy, this lovely trophy is for the winner, Bunny. 283 00:20:00,655 --> 00:20:03,275 Yeah! Yeah! 284 00:20:14,965 --> 00:20:17,310 -You need some... 285 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,206 You know, you're . It's on MTV. 286 00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:24,000 What do you guys think of his haircut? 287 00:20:25,965 --> 00:20:27,482 What did you say when you asked them to cut it? 288 00:20:27,551 --> 00:20:30,034 Did you say, "Ah, just butcher the "? 289 00:20:38,551 --> 00:20:40,344 Get off the field! 290 00:20:42,551 --> 00:20:45,344 Yes, you, off the field! 291 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,689 . 292 00:21:00,482 --> 00:21:02,275 Come back here, you little bastard! 293 00:21:03,655 --> 00:21:04,896 -Ow! Ow! 294 00:21:04,965 --> 00:21:06,379 . 295 00:21:06,448 --> 00:21:08,689 Ow. 296 00:21:08,758 --> 00:21:10,275 Ready?