1 00:00:14,103 --> 00:00:16,413 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. 2 00:00:16,482 --> 00:00:18,551 Welcome to Jackass. 3 00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:21,620 ♪♪ 4 00:00:24,620 --> 00:00:27,620 [music continues] 5 00:00:42,965 --> 00:00:44,241 Come wash my back! 6 00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:48,206 [bulls mooing, snorting] 7 00:00:48,275 --> 00:00:50,000 We're here in Nipomo, California 8 00:00:50,068 --> 00:00:51,793 at the Gary Leffew Bull Riding School, 9 00:00:51,862 --> 00:00:54,034 where we're about to have a whole lot of fun 10 00:00:54,103 --> 00:00:56,275 with a bull named Mr. Mean. 11 00:00:56,344 --> 00:00:58,655 Just how mean is Mr. Mean? 12 00:00:58,724 --> 00:01:00,344 He's the meanest thing I've ever seen. 13 00:01:03,344 --> 00:01:06,275 I seen a guy get on him one day. 14 00:01:06,344 --> 00:01:09,206 And he flung the bullfighter at least 15 feet in the air. 15 00:01:09,275 --> 00:01:10,655 He's a mean son of a bitch. 16 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:12,793 [bleep]. 17 00:01:12,862 --> 00:01:14,379 [Johnny] How many men has he hurt? 18 00:01:14,448 --> 00:01:16,000 Quite a few. He's banged up quite a few. 19 00:01:16,068 --> 00:01:18,620 Have you seen anyone get injured by Mr. Mean? 20 00:01:18,689 --> 00:01:20,137 Oh, yeah. Me included. 21 00:01:20,206 --> 00:01:22,862 [snorting] 22 00:01:22,931 --> 00:01:25,689 -Mr. Mean is a big bucking bull. -[bull roars] 23 00:01:25,758 --> 00:01:27,620 How much would Mr. Mean weigh? 24 00:01:27,689 --> 00:01:29,275 About 1,800 pounds. 25 00:01:29,344 --> 00:01:31,551 What are my chances today in riding Mr. Mean? 26 00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:33,000 [snorting] 27 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,034 -Slim and none. -Slim and none. 28 00:01:37,103 --> 00:01:38,344 Slim and none. 29 00:01:38,413 --> 00:01:39,758 I don't think you have a chance in hell. 30 00:01:39,827 --> 00:01:41,724 -[distant dog barking] -I think that, too. 31 00:01:41,793 --> 00:01:44,068 Now that is a lot of bull[bleep]. 32 00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:47,827 What are any final words for me before I get on Mr. Mean? 33 00:01:47,896 --> 00:01:49,827 If you don't hit the ground running, 34 00:01:49,896 --> 00:01:51,724 you're not gonna have a chance on it. 35 00:01:53,413 --> 00:01:54,793 [Gary laughs] 36 00:01:54,862 --> 00:01:55,965 Pay your insurance? 37 00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:57,103 -Good luck. -All right. 38 00:01:57,172 --> 00:01:58,344 [spits] 39 00:01:58,413 --> 00:01:59,896 You look good, man. You look good. 40 00:01:59,965 --> 00:02:02,137 [dog barking] 41 00:02:03,827 --> 00:02:05,448 [bull roaring] 42 00:02:06,724 --> 00:02:08,241 [indistinct chatter] 43 00:02:12,344 --> 00:02:13,655 [bleep]. 44 00:02:23,137 --> 00:02:24,827 [man] Get him up here. Get him up. 45 00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:27,758 Get him up, come on. [indistinct] 46 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,482 -[dog barking] -[bell clanging] 47 00:02:37,827 --> 00:02:40,482 -[clapping] -That was cool, man. 48 00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,551 [crowd shouting] 49 00:02:45,482 --> 00:02:47,000 How did it look? 50 00:02:47,068 --> 00:02:48,448 Scary as all hell. 51 00:02:48,517 --> 00:02:50,827 It was scary as all hell. 52 00:02:50,896 --> 00:02:53,793 So he was trying to hook me in the shoot, 53 00:02:53,862 --> 00:02:55,620 and I was getting really worried. 54 00:02:55,689 --> 00:02:57,827 [man] Hey... there's a catch pin out there. 55 00:02:57,896 --> 00:02:59,068 How long did I stay on him? 56 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,758 For about two, three seconds. 57 00:03:01,827 --> 00:03:03,206 [thud] 58 00:03:06,241 --> 00:03:09,241 [laughter] 59 00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:12,275 ♪♪ 60 00:03:18,275 --> 00:03:20,241 [indistinct chatter] 61 00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:25,793 [bleep]... 62 00:03:27,068 --> 00:03:29,172 We have to live in this town. 63 00:03:29,241 --> 00:03:30,827 We have to live here. 64 00:03:30,896 --> 00:03:33,689 [engine revving] 65 00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:39,482 ♪♪ 66 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:46,793 Today we will joust! 67 00:03:50,137 --> 00:03:52,172 Sir Bamelot has committed treason. 68 00:03:52,241 --> 00:03:54,034 He has entered my land 69 00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:56,689 like he has entered my ass, 70 00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,551 and this is not permitted. 71 00:03:58,620 --> 00:04:00,310 I was just hanging out back there 72 00:04:00,379 --> 00:04:01,448 eating a meat pie. 73 00:04:01,517 --> 00:04:02,689 Next thing you know, 74 00:04:02,758 --> 00:04:04,103 some guy's freaking out about nothing. 75 00:04:04,172 --> 00:04:06,758 [fanfare] 76 00:04:07,931 --> 00:04:09,931 [metal clanging] 77 00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:17,413 And what else is not permitted today 78 00:04:17,482 --> 00:04:20,448 is what he's attempted to do with my midwife-- 79 00:04:20,517 --> 00:04:23,758 commit a hideous act of Sussex. 80 00:04:23,827 --> 00:04:25,310 You're thinking of somebody else, buddy. 81 00:04:25,379 --> 00:04:26,655 Wasn't me. 82 00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:28,344 [fanfare] 83 00:04:29,413 --> 00:04:32,379 [metal clanging] 84 00:04:39,724 --> 00:04:42,793 And today, good sirs, 85 00:04:42,862 --> 00:04:45,586 I will stick my lance far beyond 86 00:04:45,655 --> 00:04:48,379 where the light of our world shines, 87 00:04:48,448 --> 00:04:50,482 deep into the colon of the enemy. 88 00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:54,551 Sir Bamelot, you will feel a lot of my lance in your ass. 89 00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:56,620 So prepare, good sir, 90 00:04:56,689 --> 00:05:01,793 for this is your last encounter with Sir Brandon of Lancaster. 91 00:05:01,862 --> 00:05:03,482 [screaming] 92 00:05:03,551 --> 00:05:05,724 [fanfare] 93 00:05:07,137 --> 00:05:09,103 [metal clanging] 94 00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:14,103 [both groaning] 95 00:05:14,172 --> 00:05:15,551 [bleep]. 96 00:05:16,965 --> 00:05:19,758 The price for treason is high 97 00:05:19,827 --> 00:05:21,310 and it's paid today. 98 00:05:28,448 --> 00:05:29,793 [Johnny] What we're wanting to do with him, 99 00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:32,586 we're wanting to like shave it on the sides, 100 00:05:32,655 --> 00:05:34,862 but not-- but not to the skin, 101 00:05:34,931 --> 00:05:36,517 but just leave about that much hair. 102 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:39,379 And on the top, we want to cut it about that long 103 00:05:39,448 --> 00:05:41,896 and leave all this in the back, 104 00:05:41,965 --> 00:05:43,517 leave all the length. 105 00:05:43,586 --> 00:05:45,000 If that's all right. 106 00:05:45,068 --> 00:05:46,620 Your standard mullet. 107 00:05:46,689 --> 00:05:49,379 Yeah, your basic mullet haircut. 108 00:05:49,448 --> 00:05:52,413 [shaver buzzing] 109 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,379 Since we're kinda new in town, 110 00:05:55,448 --> 00:05:57,344 we're looking for like a good country-western bar. 111 00:05:57,413 --> 00:05:58,965 Do you know one around here? 112 00:05:59,034 --> 00:06:00,931 -I don't know. -No? 113 00:06:03,034 --> 00:06:04,793 It's a very popular haircut right now. 114 00:06:04,862 --> 00:06:07,241 I want to get on the bandwagon. 115 00:06:07,310 --> 00:06:10,965 You're looking good. [chuckles] 116 00:06:11,034 --> 00:06:13,517 -[bleep]damn. -You look magnificent. 117 00:06:13,586 --> 00:06:15,137 [bleep]damn. 118 00:06:15,206 --> 00:06:16,413 [shaver buzzing] 119 00:06:16,482 --> 00:06:18,448 Wow. 120 00:06:18,517 --> 00:06:20,655 There's the little rabbit looking in it. 121 00:06:20,724 --> 00:06:22,620 [Johnny] You're taking one for the team, you know. 122 00:06:22,689 --> 00:06:24,551 [Jeff laughs] Don't make me laugh. 123 00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:26,241 It's gonna mess up. 124 00:06:26,310 --> 00:06:28,413 [indistinct] 125 00:06:28,482 --> 00:06:31,000 -Shave his eyebrows, too. -No. 126 00:06:34,448 --> 00:06:37,413 [indistinct chatter] 127 00:06:39,103 --> 00:06:41,413 [scissors cutting] 128 00:06:42,620 --> 00:06:44,724 [chatter and laughter] 129 00:06:44,793 --> 00:06:46,931 [coughing] 130 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,655 How's it look, John? 131 00:06:50,517 --> 00:06:52,068 Does it look cool? 132 00:06:52,137 --> 00:06:55,206 I think you could win a Billy Ray Cyrus look-alike contest. 133 00:06:55,275 --> 00:06:56,931 How's the length look back there? 134 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,241 Looks great now. 135 00:06:58,310 --> 00:07:00,206 You couldn't look any more handsome. 136 00:07:00,275 --> 00:07:01,724 [chuckles] 137 00:07:06,241 --> 00:07:08,103 [coughs] 138 00:07:08,172 --> 00:07:10,862 -Thanks a lot, man. -Thank you very much. 139 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,931 ♪♪ 140 00:07:23,241 --> 00:07:24,896 [man] Which would you prefer? 141 00:07:24,965 --> 00:07:26,482 [woman] Is there meat in the second one? 142 00:07:26,551 --> 00:07:28,379 Hm, no, there isn't meat in the second one, 143 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:31,379 but the first one is totally made of meat. 144 00:07:31,448 --> 00:07:32,551 [indistinct shouting] 145 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:33,724 [crashing] 146 00:07:33,793 --> 00:07:34,965 [grunting] 147 00:07:35,034 --> 00:07:36,310 Ooh, thank you for your time. 148 00:07:36,379 --> 00:07:37,896 [police siren] 149 00:07:37,965 --> 00:07:40,965 [police radio chatter] 150 00:07:44,344 --> 00:07:47,103 ♪♪ 151 00:07:53,827 --> 00:07:56,931 [metal clanging] 152 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,241 [bleep]. 153 00:07:59,551 --> 00:08:01,896 [indistinct chatter] 154 00:08:08,827 --> 00:08:09,965 Oh! 155 00:08:10,034 --> 00:08:11,275 [metal bangs] 156 00:08:11,344 --> 00:08:14,517 [wailing] 157 00:08:29,482 --> 00:08:30,551 [woman] Isn't that weird? 158 00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:31,862 That was way weird. 159 00:08:31,931 --> 00:08:33,793 -[Dave] Ah. -[woman laughs] 160 00:08:35,793 --> 00:08:37,344 [birds chirping] 161 00:08:37,413 --> 00:08:39,620 ♪♪ 162 00:08:39,689 --> 00:08:42,344 [chatter and laughter] 163 00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:48,551 Oh, yeah, this is gonna work. 164 00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:50,793 We're gonna go feed some pigeons and ducks. 165 00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:52,758 -Really? -[men] Yeah. 166 00:08:52,827 --> 00:08:54,758 Can I join them? [laughs] 167 00:08:54,827 --> 00:08:56,068 -[men] Oh! -Hey! 168 00:08:56,137 --> 00:08:57,586 -Look out. -There you go. 169 00:08:57,655 --> 00:09:00,482 We have a bird-watching organization. 170 00:09:00,551 --> 00:09:03,517 -Oh, really? -Yeah, it's called BITCH, 171 00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,068 Birds in the City of Hollywood. 172 00:09:05,137 --> 00:09:07,620 -Watch your private parts. -Yes, ma'am, we will try. 173 00:09:07,689 --> 00:09:09,034 I will mind them. 174 00:09:11,241 --> 00:09:12,620 Here, birdy, birdy. 175 00:09:16,793 --> 00:09:18,448 Did I lead 'em over towards the geese? 176 00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:22,137 ♪♪ 177 00:09:22,206 --> 00:09:24,068 Birdy, birdy, birdy. 178 00:09:24,137 --> 00:09:26,310 Are-- are they eating any stuff off of me? 179 00:09:26,379 --> 00:09:27,517 [birds squeaking] 180 00:09:27,586 --> 00:09:30,586 ♪♪ 181 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,206 Jeez, this was worse than the squid suit. 182 00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:42,172 [man] Yo, I have the perfect idea for a skit. 183 00:09:42,241 --> 00:09:44,551 -What? -You sitting here 184 00:09:44,620 --> 00:09:46,172 and then... [slaps] 185 00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:53,103 Hello, I am Pontius the Barbarian. 186 00:09:53,172 --> 00:09:55,137 And today we are at this Renaissance fair 187 00:09:55,206 --> 00:09:57,379 to do some dragon slaying. 188 00:09:57,448 --> 00:10:00,448 ♪♪ 189 00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:05,931 Hey, wenches. 190 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,620 [laughs] Ouch. 191 00:10:07,689 --> 00:10:09,724 -They're royalty. -Oh-ho. 192 00:10:09,793 --> 00:10:11,000 It's not a problem. 193 00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:13,379 ♪♪ 194 00:10:13,448 --> 00:10:15,137 Out of my way, old man. 195 00:10:15,206 --> 00:10:17,551 Sir, I am a knight of this realm and in peril. 196 00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:19,896 You should insult a friend of mine by calling him an old man, 197 00:10:19,965 --> 00:10:22,241 you shall speak unto me and I shall speak harshly to you. 198 00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:25,344 And my words shall carry more weight that your armor. 199 00:10:25,413 --> 00:10:29,344 -Could I trouble you for a-- -Do not insult yourself 200 00:10:29,413 --> 00:10:33,172 with your lack of intelligence and your ignorance. 201 00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:34,965 Could I trouble you for a kiss, sir? 202 00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,620 [chuckles] 203 00:10:39,068 --> 00:10:40,862 Mmm... 204 00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,655 Hey, can I try some of those grapes? 205 00:10:42,724 --> 00:10:44,655 [jingling] 206 00:10:48,586 --> 00:10:49,620 Those aren't real. 207 00:10:49,689 --> 00:10:51,000 Can I have some of that jerky? 208 00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:53,586 [screams] 209 00:10:53,655 --> 00:10:56,551 [children shouting] 210 00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:59,689 Hear ye, hear ye! 211 00:10:59,758 --> 00:11:03,620 I'd like to give a demonstration on how you kill a dragon. 212 00:11:03,689 --> 00:11:07,000 First thing you gotta remember is the mouth. 213 00:11:07,068 --> 00:11:08,689 These guys can breathe fire. 214 00:11:08,758 --> 00:11:10,620 So stay away from it. 215 00:11:10,689 --> 00:11:12,379 [indistinct] 216 00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:16,793 [crowd "aww"ing] 217 00:11:18,103 --> 00:11:19,689 [man] I'm rooting for the dragon! 218 00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:25,586 [crowd shouting] 219 00:11:25,655 --> 00:11:26,965 ♪♪ 220 00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:30,000 [laughter] 221 00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:35,448 ♪♪ 222 00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:43,448 There he is! 223 00:11:43,517 --> 00:11:44,965 Kill him with your bow! 224 00:11:45,034 --> 00:11:48,068 Get the baby dragon! Get him, come on! 225 00:11:48,137 --> 00:11:49,862 Slay the baby dragon! 226 00:11:49,931 --> 00:11:52,000 Slay the dragon! 227 00:11:52,068 --> 00:11:54,206 [indistinct shouting] 228 00:11:59,206 --> 00:12:01,965 [shouting continues] 229 00:12:10,793 --> 00:12:12,862 [laughter] 230 00:12:12,931 --> 00:12:15,068 [scattered applause] 231 00:12:17,344 --> 00:12:19,241 He's dead. 232 00:12:19,310 --> 00:12:21,172 Bring out your dead! 233 00:12:22,413 --> 00:12:25,000 My God. What the hell? 234 00:12:29,103 --> 00:12:30,344 [thud] 235 00:12:30,413 --> 00:12:31,931 [laughter] 236 00:12:34,241 --> 00:12:35,344 Let's go in the sporting goods store 237 00:12:35,413 --> 00:12:36,413 and play a little basketball. 238 00:12:36,482 --> 00:12:38,344 [whistle blows] 239 00:12:38,413 --> 00:12:40,689 Game on. Jump ball. 240 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,275 Ready? 241 00:12:45,758 --> 00:12:48,758 [ball bouncing] 242 00:12:52,793 --> 00:12:54,068 [whistle blows] 243 00:12:54,137 --> 00:12:55,482 -Oh. -[whistle blows] 244 00:12:55,551 --> 00:12:57,310 -Foul! Foul! -That's a penalty. 245 00:12:59,413 --> 00:13:01,103 [whistle blows] 246 00:13:01,172 --> 00:13:03,655 [man] All right, that's enough. 247 00:13:03,724 --> 00:13:05,310 I don't want you in here. 248 00:13:05,379 --> 00:13:07,344 Either get out of here or I'm gonna do something 249 00:13:07,413 --> 00:13:08,689 with that whistle you're not gonna appreciate. 250 00:13:08,758 --> 00:13:10,000 So please leave the store. 251 00:13:10,068 --> 00:13:11,379 -This is-- -I want you out of the store. 252 00:13:11,448 --> 00:13:12,793 Now. 253 00:13:12,862 --> 00:13:14,551 We got a serious game of one-and-one. 254 00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:15,896 Get out of here. 255 00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:18,206 Get out of here now. I'm serious. 256 00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:19,275 Get out. 257 00:13:19,344 --> 00:13:20,620 -The ball, ball. -Out. 258 00:13:20,689 --> 00:13:21,896 We got no ball. 259 00:13:21,965 --> 00:13:23,965 -All right, that's game. -[whistle blows] 260 00:13:24,034 --> 00:13:25,379 Good game. Thank you. 261 00:13:25,448 --> 00:13:27,586 -Is there any water here? -Now, go. 262 00:13:27,655 --> 00:13:30,068 Hey, where's next? Good game. 263 00:13:30,137 --> 00:13:31,620 [whistle blows] 264 00:13:35,344 --> 00:13:37,000 [man] It's a vicious man-eating snake. 265 00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,758 Kosick just asked if it was poisonous. 266 00:13:41,827 --> 00:13:43,344 There's three. 267 00:13:43,413 --> 00:13:44,793 And we're gonna jump off the side. 268 00:13:44,862 --> 00:13:46,862 [laughter] 269 00:13:49,965 --> 00:13:52,275 Get the [bleep] away from me! 270 00:13:52,344 --> 00:13:54,517 [screams] [bleep] you guys. 271 00:13:57,862 --> 00:14:00,896 -[metal banging] -[crowd shouting] 272 00:14:07,965 --> 00:14:09,896 Today we're going after the Great White tiger shark. 273 00:14:09,965 --> 00:14:12,827 It's one of the most fiercest sharks in the ocean. 274 00:14:13,793 --> 00:14:16,310 ♪♪ 275 00:14:24,206 --> 00:14:26,172 [pigs snorting] 276 00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:44,689 -Hi. -Hi. 277 00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:45,965 [bell on door rings] 278 00:14:46,034 --> 00:14:48,758 Wait, you cannot come in like that. Go. 279 00:14:48,827 --> 00:14:50,448 -What? -You cannot-- 280 00:14:50,517 --> 00:14:51,793 Go put on pants. Go! 281 00:14:51,862 --> 00:14:53,620 What? Can I just get some water? 282 00:14:53,689 --> 00:14:55,586 -No, you can't. -Please? 283 00:14:55,655 --> 00:14:57,413 I'm super thirsty. It's super hot outside. 284 00:14:57,482 --> 00:15:00,241 No, no, you can't. Go put pants on. 285 00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:01,517 I just-- the water's right here. 286 00:15:01,586 --> 00:15:03,172 I don't care. Go out! 287 00:15:03,241 --> 00:15:04,758 Excuse you. 288 00:15:05,931 --> 00:15:08,137 Excuse you. Go out! 289 00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:09,482 -I have to leave? -Yes. 290 00:15:09,551 --> 00:15:11,448 -No water? -Put pants on. 291 00:15:11,517 --> 00:15:13,379 [bell on door rings] 292 00:15:13,448 --> 00:15:15,034 -Excuse me, go out. -Okay, okay. 293 00:15:15,103 --> 00:15:16,758 Shame on you. Go out, out. 294 00:15:16,827 --> 00:15:18,655 Okay, I'm sorry. No water, please? 295 00:15:18,724 --> 00:15:19,724 -No water. -Please! 296 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,724 Put pants on, then coming in. 297 00:15:21,793 --> 00:15:22,931 You gotta wear pants. 298 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,137 She's freaking out. I don't know. 299 00:15:25,206 --> 00:15:27,000 [woman] I can't believe that! 300 00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:31,620 ♪♪ 301 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,275 Yah! Yah! 302 00:15:36,344 --> 00:15:38,517 [screaming] 303 00:15:40,034 --> 00:15:42,862 ♪♪ 304 00:15:42,931 --> 00:15:44,241 [police chatter on radio] 305 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,275 My $500 sword is broken. 306 00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:53,793 Today we're going out to face the man-eating sharks. 307 00:15:53,862 --> 00:15:57,206 We want to show them that we're not gonna hurt them. 308 00:15:57,275 --> 00:16:00,517 They'll be our friends and let us give them a hug. 309 00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:02,310 I'll be honest with you, there is a certain 310 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:03,827 amount of element of danger here. 311 00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:06,379 These are wild animals. They are sharks. They do bite. 312 00:16:06,448 --> 00:16:08,068 And they have bitten people before. 313 00:16:08,137 --> 00:16:09,689 The main thing you've gotta watch out for 314 00:16:09,758 --> 00:16:11,103 is your hand movement. 315 00:16:11,172 --> 00:16:13,620 Don't pull on his tail or anything like that. 316 00:16:13,689 --> 00:16:16,586 So keep your hands pretty much in close or around. 317 00:16:16,655 --> 00:16:17,758 Keep it away from the mouth. 318 00:16:17,827 --> 00:16:18,965 [Johnny] Have you ever been bitten? 319 00:16:19,034 --> 00:16:20,448 Never by a shark. 320 00:16:20,517 --> 00:16:22,310 Steve-O, that's probably the most unattractive thing 321 00:16:22,379 --> 00:16:23,931 I've ever seen in my life. 322 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,724 You look like you have Jimmie Durante's nose 323 00:16:25,793 --> 00:16:27,620 -in your pants. -[laughter] 324 00:16:27,689 --> 00:16:31,172 Today we're going after the Great White tiger shark. 325 00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:33,551 It's one of the most fiercest sharks in the ocean. 326 00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:35,620 I'm making a little chum soup here for him. 327 00:16:37,689 --> 00:16:39,758 Let's start with the appetizer. 328 00:16:39,827 --> 00:16:41,413 Open your eyes. 329 00:16:41,482 --> 00:16:43,931 [gurgling] 330 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,034 [spitting] 331 00:16:46,103 --> 00:16:47,724 [laughter] 332 00:16:47,793 --> 00:16:49,827 We're gonna try to give them a hug 333 00:16:49,896 --> 00:16:53,000 and love pats whenever we can. 334 00:16:53,068 --> 00:16:56,172 You look like a bi-curious superhero in that mask. 335 00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:57,586 [air hissing] 336 00:16:57,655 --> 00:16:59,275 [indistinct chatter] 337 00:17:04,310 --> 00:17:07,275 ♪♪ 338 00:17:32,482 --> 00:17:35,620 I got mad humping footage, dude. 339 00:17:35,689 --> 00:17:37,206 [laughs] 340 00:17:37,275 --> 00:17:39,758 I was getting some loving down there. 341 00:17:42,241 --> 00:17:44,517 -Is it gonna ruin your suit? -No, it won't-- [bleep]. 342 00:17:45,724 --> 00:17:46,793 Happy birthday, Jess. 343 00:17:48,517 --> 00:17:50,103 [horse neighing] 344 00:17:50,172 --> 00:17:51,482 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville 345 00:17:51,551 --> 00:17:53,172 and we're at the Sunset Ranch in Hollywood. 346 00:17:53,241 --> 00:17:56,068 We have over one ton of horse poo gathered 347 00:17:56,137 --> 00:17:59,310 in a ring about ten-by-ten feet. 348 00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,310 I'm about to draw names to see who will battle 349 00:18:01,379 --> 00:18:02,896 -each other in the poo joust. -[flatulence] 350 00:18:02,965 --> 00:18:04,275 Okay, I'm gonna quickly run through the rules. 351 00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:05,620 [horse neighing] 352 00:18:05,689 --> 00:18:07,034 There aren't any rules. 353 00:18:07,103 --> 00:18:08,931 Bunny versus Jeff. 354 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,241 Whoo! 355 00:18:10,310 --> 00:18:11,931 [Johnny] Come on, Jeff, don't let me down, dude. 356 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,172 [grunting] 357 00:18:15,448 --> 00:18:17,793 [crowd] Ohh! 358 00:18:17,862 --> 00:18:19,620 ♪♪ 359 00:18:19,689 --> 00:18:22,517 All right, Kosick versus Wee Man. 360 00:18:22,586 --> 00:18:24,965 [Johnny] Hit him in the face. Get him, Rick. 361 00:18:25,034 --> 00:18:26,655 -[screaming] -[laughter] 362 00:18:26,724 --> 00:18:29,724 [chatter and laughter] 363 00:18:34,482 --> 00:18:36,206 [cheering] 364 00:18:36,275 --> 00:18:38,482 The next match is... 365 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,448 Knoxville, that would be me, 366 00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:41,689 and Cliver. 367 00:18:43,172 --> 00:18:44,482 ♪♪ 368 00:18:44,551 --> 00:18:46,137 [laughter] 369 00:18:49,206 --> 00:18:50,344 Yeah! 370 00:18:50,413 --> 00:18:52,068 ♪♪ 371 00:18:52,137 --> 00:18:53,965 Winners bracket round one, 372 00:18:54,034 --> 00:18:55,551 Bunny versus Wee Man. 373 00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:57,896 ♪♪ 374 00:18:57,965 --> 00:19:01,000 -[grunting] -[laughter] 375 00:19:03,137 --> 00:19:05,586 Jeff versus Cliver, winners bracket round two. 376 00:19:05,655 --> 00:19:08,379 ♪♪ 377 00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:10,000 [cheering and laughter] 378 00:19:12,034 --> 00:19:13,551 Wee Man versus Jeff. 379 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,620 ♪♪ 380 00:19:17,655 --> 00:19:19,655 [laughter] 381 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,172 [grunting] 382 00:19:22,241 --> 00:19:24,793 [Johnny] For the championship bout, 383 00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:28,517 the fences, the cinder blocks, the pole, everything is removed. 384 00:19:28,586 --> 00:19:29,931 It's mano a mano. 385 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,310 I will be reffing. This is winner take all. 386 00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:33,827 Here we go. 387 00:19:36,172 --> 00:19:39,137 ♪♪ 388 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,448 Oh! Oh! Oh, my God. 389 00:19:47,517 --> 00:19:48,689 [laughter] 390 00:19:48,758 --> 00:19:50,655 [Johnny] One, two... 391 00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:53,517 -[cheering and applause] -Yay, Bunny! 392 00:19:53,586 --> 00:19:55,000 [laughter] 393 00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:57,724 ...all the guys at the gym that helped me out, spotted me. 394 00:19:57,793 --> 00:20:00,586 This trophy, this lovely trophy is for the winner, Bunny. 395 00:20:00,655 --> 00:20:03,275 Yeah! Yeah! 396 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,172 [door slams open] 397 00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:10,206 [grunts] 398 00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:13,655 [indistinct] 399 00:20:13,724 --> 00:20:14,896 [laughter] 400 00:20:14,965 --> 00:20:17,310 -You need some... -[glass shatters] 401 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,206 You know, you're [bleep]. It's on MTV. 402 00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:24,000 What do you guys think of his haircut? 403 00:20:24,068 --> 00:20:25,896 [indistinct chatter] 404 00:20:25,965 --> 00:20:27,482 What did you say when you asked them to cut it? 405 00:20:27,551 --> 00:20:30,034 Did you say, "Ah, just butcher the [bleep]"? 406 00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:33,068 ♪♪ 407 00:20:38,551 --> 00:20:40,344 [man] Get off the field! 408 00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:42,482 ♪♪ 409 00:20:42,551 --> 00:20:45,344 Yes, you, off the field! 410 00:20:45,413 --> 00:20:47,344 ♪♪ 411 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,689 [bleep]. 412 00:20:49,758 --> 00:20:52,758 ♪♪ 413 00:21:00,482 --> 00:21:02,275 Come back here, you little bastard! 414 00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:03,586 [men shouting] 415 00:21:03,655 --> 00:21:04,896 -[buzzing] -Ow! Ow! 416 00:21:04,965 --> 00:21:06,379 [bleep]. Ow! [bleep]. 417 00:21:06,448 --> 00:21:08,689 Ow. [chuckling] 418 00:21:08,758 --> 00:21:10,275 [man] Ready? 419 00:21:10,344 --> 00:21:11,379 [bulls mooing] 420 00:21:11,448 --> 00:21:12,689 [indistinct rodeo announcer] 421 00:21:12,758 --> 00:21:16,758 [bull roaring]