1 00:00:20,275 --> 00:00:23,241 [Johnny] Hi, I'm Santa Claus, welcome to Jackass. 2 00:00:23,310 --> 00:00:24,379 [grunting] 3 00:00:24,448 --> 00:00:28,275 ♪♪ 4 00:00:29,862 --> 00:00:33,965 [music continues throughout] 5 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:49,896 Come wash my back! 6 00:00:52,379 --> 00:00:55,793 [bells jingling] 7 00:00:55,862 --> 00:00:58,068 My name is Rudolph, and this is Santa, 8 00:00:58,137 --> 00:01:00,758 and today we're doing some aggressive sledding. 9 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:03,862 [rock version of "12 Days of Christmas playing] 10 00:01:06,068 --> 00:01:08,620 [laughter] 11 00:01:08,689 --> 00:01:12,758 [music continues throughout] 12 00:01:35,655 --> 00:01:38,000 [groaning] 13 00:01:38,068 --> 00:01:44,103 ♪♪ 14 00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:05,275 [light applause] 15 00:02:07,241 --> 00:02:09,206 [music continues] 16 00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:22,413 I'm Ryan Dunn, I'm about to do some, uh, skiing up here 17 00:02:22,482 --> 00:02:25,103 in the Pennsylvania mountains and try not to die. 18 00:02:28,586 --> 00:02:30,586 [sticks clattering] 19 00:02:31,931 --> 00:02:35,068 At first, you're intimidated, 20 00:02:35,137 --> 00:02:37,931 you know, being rocks and gravel and whatnot, 21 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,620 but I think I'm getting good at it. 22 00:02:42,724 --> 00:02:44,068 Ah, [bleep]! [bleep]! 23 00:02:50,241 --> 00:02:51,931 [man] What's the log for? 24 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,172 Hopefully to injure Ryan's spine. 25 00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:55,827 [chuckles] Or his head. 26 00:03:01,517 --> 00:03:03,482 [laughter] 27 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,241 That was awesome! 28 00:03:09,241 --> 00:03:10,551 [grunting] 29 00:03:12,758 --> 00:03:14,724 I fell on something haggard. 30 00:03:14,793 --> 00:03:16,482 [Bam] Oh, that's all poison ivy, look at it. 31 00:03:16,551 --> 00:03:19,137 Is it for real? 32 00:03:19,206 --> 00:03:20,517 I'm not helping him. 33 00:03:20,586 --> 00:03:23,413 -[man] You alright? -[laughter] 34 00:03:23,482 --> 00:03:25,000 Well, I kept on falling on my hands 'cause I don't know 35 00:03:25,068 --> 00:03:26,620 -how to fall good. -[man] Yeah. 36 00:03:26,689 --> 00:03:28,103 -Ryan, look out! -Look out, look out. 37 00:03:30,482 --> 00:03:32,931 Ooh. 38 00:03:34,275 --> 00:03:36,137 [Bam] I hope it was worth it 'cause I'm hurtin'. 39 00:03:39,896 --> 00:03:42,206 [metallic clinking] 40 00:03:43,241 --> 00:03:47,310 [grunting] 41 00:03:47,379 --> 00:03:49,931 [bells jingling] 42 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,241 ♪♪ 43 00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:54,896 [music continues throughout] 44 00:03:54,965 --> 00:03:56,172 [man] There we go, Rudolph. 45 00:04:02,689 --> 00:04:05,620 [indistinct chatter] 46 00:04:05,689 --> 00:04:09,068 [laughter] 47 00:04:09,137 --> 00:04:11,724 Ho, ho, ho, ho! 48 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:15,310 ♪♪ 49 00:04:18,482 --> 00:04:21,793 [music continues throughout] 50 00:05:00,655 --> 00:05:04,034 ♪♪ 51 00:05:25,137 --> 00:05:26,793 [cheering] 52 00:05:28,275 --> 00:05:29,586 Oh! 53 00:05:51,724 --> 00:05:55,586 ♪♪ 54 00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:58,206 Hey, ladies and gentlemen, it's California bobsledding. 55 00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,206 [indistinct]! 56 00:06:00,275 --> 00:06:02,137 ♪♪ 57 00:06:02,206 --> 00:06:05,275 [music continues throughout] 58 00:06:24,965 --> 00:06:27,931 California bobsledding. California bobsledding. 59 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:31,931 ♪♪ 60 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,000 [music continues throughout] 61 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,413 Woohoo! 62 00:07:09,655 --> 00:07:12,655 [laughter] 63 00:07:13,793 --> 00:07:15,068 Here he goes. 64 00:07:15,137 --> 00:07:16,689 [overlapping shouting] 65 00:07:16,758 --> 00:07:17,931 He's good. 66 00:07:19,517 --> 00:07:22,689 ♪♪ 67 00:07:28,724 --> 00:07:31,034 [horn honking] 68 00:07:32,896 --> 00:07:35,310 Hey, hey, whoa, whoa. 69 00:07:35,379 --> 00:07:37,517 Hey, you guys, break it up. Get off him, what're you doing? 70 00:07:42,137 --> 00:07:44,827 I'm Ryan Dunn, I'm about to some, uh, 71 00:07:44,896 --> 00:07:46,862 tree skiing. 72 00:07:46,931 --> 00:07:48,103 I guess it'd be grass skiing, 73 00:07:48,172 --> 00:07:50,413 into a tree, a K2 tree. 74 00:07:50,482 --> 00:07:53,655 [laughter] 75 00:07:56,068 --> 00:07:58,034 [Bam] I'm comin', buddy, I'm a doctor! 76 00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:01,931 Ow, [bleep]! 77 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,482 [indistinct] 78 00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:05,586 -You know what the problem was? -What? 79 00:08:05,655 --> 00:08:07,758 [man] Well, part of it's you're [bleep] at this, 80 00:08:07,827 --> 00:08:10,172 but the other part, you kinda fell 81 00:08:10,241 --> 00:08:12,206 and then got up and it didn't give you time to set. 82 00:08:12,275 --> 00:08:13,793 [man 2] You-- you had it, though. 83 00:08:13,862 --> 00:08:15,517 -You want a medal? -Yeah. 84 00:08:15,586 --> 00:08:16,896 -You wanna get a gold medal? -Yeah! 85 00:08:16,965 --> 00:08:18,758 -You want a silver medal? -No, I want a gold. 86 00:08:18,827 --> 00:08:20,413 That's exactly what you want, now come on, 87 00:08:20,482 --> 00:08:21,586 quit being a little bitch about it, 88 00:08:21,655 --> 00:08:23,655 now tuck in, down, like this. 89 00:08:23,724 --> 00:08:24,793 You know what I told you. 90 00:08:24,862 --> 00:08:26,310 Now get 'em, get 'em. 91 00:08:26,379 --> 00:08:28,655 Get 'em, tiger. 92 00:08:28,724 --> 00:08:30,172 -[man] There he goes. -Lean forward! Lean forward! 93 00:08:30,241 --> 00:08:32,793 -There you go. -He's good. 94 00:08:32,862 --> 00:08:36,000 [laughter] 95 00:08:36,068 --> 00:08:37,310 [bleep]. 96 00:08:37,379 --> 00:08:39,310 [man] Quit crying, let's just do it again. 97 00:08:39,379 --> 00:08:42,068 [Bam] Dude, just go down that bitch with confidence. 98 00:08:42,137 --> 00:08:44,034 Once your blades start going through full force, 99 00:08:44,103 --> 00:08:45,379 you can't change your mind. 100 00:08:45,448 --> 00:08:46,724 Oh, I know, I'm just-- 101 00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:47,793 I'm not changing my mind at all, 102 00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:49,068 I'm just trying to stay up. 103 00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,689 I'm not gonna change my [bleep]damn mind. 104 00:08:50,758 --> 00:08:52,275 -[man] Be loose. -[Bam] Yeah. 105 00:08:52,344 --> 00:08:54,000 You're already half a-- [laughs] 106 00:08:54,068 --> 00:08:56,689 No, stick them poles in the dirt and push. 107 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,310 [Ryan] Ow, [bleep]! 108 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,827 [laughter] 109 00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:10,000 [man] You know if we're laughing, 110 00:09:10,068 --> 00:09:11,310 you're gonna be laughing like that. 111 00:09:11,379 --> 00:09:12,896 I know, I find it funny, I'm just trying 112 00:09:12,965 --> 00:09:14,068 to remember what my name is again. 113 00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:15,517 -[laughter] -You think I'm kidding, 114 00:09:15,586 --> 00:09:17,241 I seriously have no idea where I am right now. 115 00:09:17,310 --> 00:09:19,551 [overlapping chatter] 116 00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,172 [man] You okay? You okay? 117 00:09:21,241 --> 00:09:23,310 -No, look at me, you okay? -Yeah, I'm fine. 118 00:09:23,379 --> 00:09:26,241 It sucks you got hurt, but, God, you're gonna love it later. 119 00:09:34,689 --> 00:09:36,344 [man] Get some, Santa! 120 00:09:43,827 --> 00:09:45,482 Oh! [bleep]! 121 00:09:47,862 --> 00:09:52,206 ♪♪ 122 00:09:52,275 --> 00:09:54,310 [man, high-pitched] Yeah! 123 00:09:54,379 --> 00:09:56,551 [indistinct chatter] 124 00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:57,827 This guy's crazy. 125 00:09:57,896 --> 00:10:01,344 ♪♪ 126 00:10:01,413 --> 00:10:05,379 [music continues throughout] 127 00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:17,275 [woman] Oh, my God, that's a piece of crap! 128 00:10:25,586 --> 00:10:27,586 [woman] Yeah, Dave! 129 00:10:42,586 --> 00:10:44,758 [laughter] 130 00:10:46,931 --> 00:10:49,241 -[woman] Can I help you? -Ho, ho, ho, can I get 131 00:10:49,310 --> 00:10:52,517 100 pieces of chicken and 100 Cokes, to go. 132 00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:55,413 Oh, Merry Christmas! 133 00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:56,758 [indistinct chatter] 134 00:10:56,827 --> 00:10:58,896 Santa's got a lot of damn chicken. 135 00:10:58,965 --> 00:11:01,034 -Bye, bye, Merry Christmas. -Thank you, Blanca. 136 00:11:01,103 --> 00:11:03,620 Thank you, senor. Thank you, Carlos. 137 00:11:03,689 --> 00:11:05,241 [bells jingling] 138 00:11:05,310 --> 00:11:09,172 Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas, little boys and girls! 139 00:11:09,241 --> 00:11:12,137 Fried chicken and Cokes. 140 00:11:12,206 --> 00:11:14,965 -Merry Christmas. -Thank you, thank you. 141 00:11:15,034 --> 00:11:17,482 Hey, Merry Christmas. 142 00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:19,965 -[indistinct chatter] -Stop, stop, stop, stop! 143 00:11:20,034 --> 00:11:23,310 -Here we go... -[indistinct chatter] 144 00:11:23,379 --> 00:11:24,793 Good. 145 00:11:24,862 --> 00:11:26,275 [chatter continues] 146 00:11:26,344 --> 00:11:28,793 [Johnny] Hold on, now, there's enough for everybody. 147 00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:29,620 Here we go, Merry Christmas. 148 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:34,482 Happy Hannukah. 149 00:11:34,551 --> 00:11:35,965 What do you want for Christmas? 150 00:11:36,034 --> 00:11:38,517 -[father] Say "a Barbie doll". -A Barbie doll? 151 00:11:38,586 --> 00:11:41,103 Mwah! 152 00:11:41,172 --> 00:11:43,103 Merry Christmas! 153 00:11:43,172 --> 00:11:45,034 Alright, what would you want, little girl? 154 00:11:45,103 --> 00:11:47,655 -[laughter] -[indistinct] 155 00:11:47,724 --> 00:11:48,931 You wanna hug Santa like... 156 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,586 No, I want--I want a Barbie doll. 157 00:11:50,655 --> 00:11:53,206 Okay, you get a Barbie doll, little girl. 158 00:11:53,275 --> 00:11:55,620 -Can I have a turtle too? -You can have a turtle. 159 00:11:55,689 --> 00:11:57,793 -That's all I want. -Alright. 160 00:11:57,862 --> 00:11:59,724 And a half a pint of [bleep]. 161 00:11:59,793 --> 00:12:02,379 -I want a turtle! -Okay, a turtle, turtle. 162 00:12:02,448 --> 00:12:05,310 Hey, Merry Christmas! 163 00:12:05,379 --> 00:12:07,103 Feliz Navidad! 164 00:12:08,448 --> 00:12:10,103 -Ready? -Yeah. 165 00:12:12,448 --> 00:12:13,793 [laughter] 166 00:12:15,827 --> 00:12:17,793 We are going to put a speculum into 167 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:21,275 -your rectum here. -Ho, holy [bleep]! 168 00:12:21,344 --> 00:12:23,758 Ahh! 169 00:12:23,758 --> 00:12:26,689 ♪♪ 170 00:12:37,379 --> 00:12:39,344 [making karate sounds] 171 00:12:48,241 --> 00:12:49,724 [laughter] 172 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,758 [Johnny] Woohoo! Hi-yah! 173 00:12:53,827 --> 00:12:56,034 [laughter] 174 00:12:58,655 --> 00:12:59,896 Hi, my name's Santa Claus, 175 00:12:59,965 --> 00:13:02,034 and I'm about to get a colonic. 176 00:13:02,103 --> 00:13:03,517 -Are you Linda? -Yes. 177 00:13:03,586 --> 00:13:05,344 Santa wants a real colonic. 178 00:13:05,413 --> 00:13:07,413 [Linda] I thought this was a joke, I really did. 179 00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:09,655 -No, Santa wants a real... -You want a real colonic? 180 00:13:09,724 --> 00:13:11,551 Now, Santa, you're gonna have to remove your clothing, 181 00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:13,103 -are you able to... -Santa's gonn-- 182 00:13:13,172 --> 00:13:15,586 -yeah, I'm gonna drop trou. -[laughter] 183 00:13:15,655 --> 00:13:17,551 [Linda] We are going to put a speculum 184 00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:20,413 into your rectum here, and through your rectum, 185 00:13:20,482 --> 00:13:23,275 we're going to send warm, purified water 186 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,758 through entire colon, about 30-35 gallons. 187 00:13:26,827 --> 00:13:28,275 And little by little, 188 00:13:28,344 --> 00:13:31,034 it's going to rinse you clean on the inside. 189 00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:32,689 Is there gonna be any lubrication? 190 00:13:32,758 --> 00:13:34,137 [Linda] Alright, now, this is Ron. 191 00:13:34,206 --> 00:13:36,517 -Alright, how are ya, Ron? -[overlapping chatter] 192 00:13:36,586 --> 00:13:39,482 You're gonna know me in some ways that most men never will. 193 00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:40,586 Alright, now just lay on your back. 194 00:13:40,655 --> 00:13:42,275 -[groaning] -There you go. 195 00:13:42,344 --> 00:13:45,000 You're getting the hang of it, you're getting the hang of it. 196 00:13:45,068 --> 00:13:46,862 Okay, now you can take your pants down. 197 00:13:46,931 --> 00:13:48,517 -Okay. -Try to-- 198 00:13:48,586 --> 00:13:50,586 try to restrain yourself, Santa. 199 00:13:50,655 --> 00:13:52,655 [Ron] You'll be able to do it once I... 200 00:13:52,724 --> 00:13:54,896 Yeah, please use gloves. 201 00:13:54,965 --> 00:13:57,758 We're lubricating the tube 202 00:13:57,827 --> 00:14:00,344 so that it slips easily onto the speculum 203 00:14:00,413 --> 00:14:03,241 that we're just getting ready to insert in Santa's rectum. 204 00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,586 [groaning] Where are his hands? 205 00:14:05,655 --> 00:14:08,793 They're putting the tube into your rectum very gently. 206 00:14:08,862 --> 00:14:10,275 Loosen up, Santa. 207 00:14:10,344 --> 00:14:14,689 Ho! Holy [bleep]! Ahh! 208 00:14:14,758 --> 00:14:16,379 We in there, believe it or not. 209 00:14:16,448 --> 00:14:18,586 [grunting] That's it? 210 00:14:18,655 --> 00:14:20,068 What's going to come out? 211 00:14:20,137 --> 00:14:21,413 It's gonna come out through here... 212 00:14:21,482 --> 00:14:22,896 You're gonna see it go right through the tube 213 00:14:22,965 --> 00:14:24,689 and then into the sewer line. 214 00:14:24,758 --> 00:14:27,793 The water is softening up the old fecal material. 215 00:14:27,862 --> 00:14:29,586 [groaning] 216 00:14:29,655 --> 00:14:32,413 -Isn't that wonderful? -Yeah. 217 00:14:32,482 --> 00:14:34,137 Now you're gonna get the distinct feeling 218 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:35,827 that you gotta go real bad... 219 00:14:35,896 --> 00:14:37,344 I got that distinct feeling right-- 220 00:14:37,413 --> 00:14:39,413 -Okay. -Oh, oh, boy, 221 00:14:39,482 --> 00:14:40,758 something's happening. 222 00:14:40,827 --> 00:14:42,689 Usually it takes about 15 to 20 minutes 223 00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:44,689 -into the treatment. -Really? 224 00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:47,551 I think Santa can bring something out right now. 225 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,172 [Ron] Okey dokey, then. 226 00:14:49,241 --> 00:14:51,448 Yeah, let it--let it rip. 227 00:14:51,517 --> 00:14:54,068 And so, you're probably feeling a little bit uncomfortable. 228 00:14:54,137 --> 00:14:55,827 -[scoffs] Yeah, you can say... -Yes. 229 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,344 I'm feeling a little bit uncomfortable. 230 00:14:57,413 --> 00:15:00,517 What's the most ever that's been extracted from someone? 231 00:15:00,586 --> 00:15:02,103 I mean, have you ever like, worked on... 232 00:15:02,172 --> 00:15:05,965 -19 pounds. -19--oh, my God! 233 00:15:06,034 --> 00:15:08,931 Like, good sized ones? Like, size of like, 234 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,413 -[bleep] candy bars ones? -Yeah. 235 00:15:11,482 --> 00:15:15,241 You know, John Wayne died with over 63 pounds 236 00:15:15,310 --> 00:15:17,413 of impacted feces in his stomach. 237 00:15:17,482 --> 00:15:19,482 -The Duke? -That's why-- 238 00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:21,517 why do you think they called him The Duke? 239 00:15:21,586 --> 00:15:23,103 Oh, there we go. 240 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:25,413 There's the chicken sandwich from today. 241 00:15:25,482 --> 00:15:27,172 [laughter] 242 00:15:27,241 --> 00:15:29,896 [machine whirring] 243 00:15:29,965 --> 00:15:31,310 Santa's a freak. 244 00:15:31,379 --> 00:15:35,137 -Oh, ho, ho, ho. -[laughter] 245 00:15:35,206 --> 00:15:36,965 See, he's really defecating, 246 00:15:37,034 --> 00:15:38,655 but he's just not defecating 247 00:15:38,724 --> 00:15:41,241 big, hard stool, but he's defecating. 248 00:15:41,310 --> 00:15:44,206 See, it's getting bigger and bigger. 249 00:15:44,275 --> 00:15:46,517 [Johnny] Oh, boy, there's some nice chunks. 250 00:15:46,586 --> 00:15:49,241 There, better. 251 00:15:49,310 --> 00:15:50,827 Where are you from? 252 00:15:50,896 --> 00:15:53,551 Uh, the North Pole. 253 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,034 Get in town about once a year. 254 00:15:56,103 --> 00:15:58,379 -[ding] -Oh, boy! 255 00:15:58,448 --> 00:16:00,827 Now what happens when you take this out? 256 00:16:00,896 --> 00:16:05,103 [groaning] 257 00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:07,931 [laughing] Oh! Oh! 258 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,655 Oh! Ugh... 259 00:16:09,724 --> 00:16:11,620 Go ahead, Santa, get in there. 260 00:16:11,689 --> 00:16:14,344 [groaning] 261 00:16:16,344 --> 00:16:18,137 [laughter] 262 00:16:21,758 --> 00:16:23,482 [Ron] Santa, see that thing up under there? 263 00:16:23,551 --> 00:16:26,241 In between your legs? Pull it out. 264 00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:27,620 [laughing] My penis? 265 00:16:27,689 --> 00:16:29,689 No, no, down on the floor. 266 00:16:29,758 --> 00:16:31,758 -Oh. -[ding] 267 00:16:33,103 --> 00:16:34,965 -See that? -That's my penis. 268 00:16:35,034 --> 00:16:36,586 Down on the floor! 269 00:16:36,655 --> 00:16:38,275 [laughter] 270 00:16:38,344 --> 00:16:40,275 Oh. Oh! 271 00:16:40,344 --> 00:16:42,586 -Put your feet up on that. -Oh, that's awesome. 272 00:16:42,655 --> 00:16:44,862 Santa about to wash his hands. 273 00:16:44,931 --> 00:16:46,965 Oh, yes, thank you, fellas. 274 00:16:47,034 --> 00:16:48,379 -Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas. 275 00:16:48,448 --> 00:16:50,758 -Merry Christmas! Bye bye! -Bye bye. 276 00:16:50,827 --> 00:16:53,448 -Merry Christmas. -[bells jingling] 277 00:16:56,379 --> 00:16:58,000 [snowmobile whirring] 278 00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:08,758 [bells jingling] 279 00:17:10,103 --> 00:17:12,655 Santa's making up some egg nog, and... 280 00:17:12,724 --> 00:17:15,103 [belches] Of course, there's no alcohol in it. 281 00:17:15,172 --> 00:17:17,068 I think it needs a little nutmeg. 282 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,379 Little of that. 283 00:17:18,448 --> 00:17:20,965 And Santa likes that-- that little--[spits] 284 00:17:21,034 --> 00:17:22,448 I think we're ready to go. 285 00:17:22,517 --> 00:17:24,517 ♪♪ 286 00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:27,551 [man] Mr. Snowman. 287 00:17:27,620 --> 00:17:29,758 -[belches] -Did you see that egg nog? 288 00:17:29,827 --> 00:17:31,413 Never had egg nog before. 289 00:17:31,482 --> 00:17:34,000 [indistinct chatter] 290 00:17:37,034 --> 00:17:39,517 Alright, so you know we can't eat 50 eggs. 291 00:17:39,586 --> 00:17:42,172 So tonight we're going to see, boys and girls, 292 00:17:42,241 --> 00:17:45,862 if you can drink 50 shots of egg nog in one hour. 293 00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:49,517 We have the lovely Mrs. Claus, my third wife, 294 00:17:49,586 --> 00:17:52,344 the sexually marginalized snowman, 295 00:17:52,413 --> 00:17:55,724 and my moderately sober elf Murray. 296 00:17:55,793 --> 00:17:57,517 Are we ready? 297 00:17:57,586 --> 00:17:58,758 Go. 298 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,827 ♪♪ 299 00:18:00,896 --> 00:18:03,344 Remember, don't pace yourself. 300 00:18:03,413 --> 00:18:05,034 ♪♪ 301 00:18:05,103 --> 00:18:07,206 What do you want for Christmas this year, Murray? 302 00:18:07,275 --> 00:18:10,206 Aside from a clean driving record. 303 00:18:10,275 --> 00:18:13,034 [laughs] You better watch it. 304 00:18:13,103 --> 00:18:15,172 Murray's getting ready to blow. 305 00:18:15,241 --> 00:18:16,724 [laughter] 306 00:18:16,793 --> 00:18:18,793 -Oh, boy. -[retches] 307 00:18:20,551 --> 00:18:22,137 Paper towel? 308 00:18:22,206 --> 00:18:24,758 I'd say [bleep] needs a little motivation, Murray. 309 00:18:24,827 --> 00:18:26,413 [retches] 310 00:18:26,482 --> 00:18:29,827 ♪♪ 311 00:18:29,896 --> 00:18:33,896 [laughter] 312 00:18:36,551 --> 00:18:38,310 Gotta hitch in their boot. 313 00:18:38,379 --> 00:18:40,206 [laughter] 314 00:18:40,275 --> 00:18:42,758 Pretty good, we've only got 51 minutes to go. 315 00:18:42,827 --> 00:18:45,586 [laughter] 316 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,793 [retches] 317 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:51,862 [indistinct chatter] 318 00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,448 The way you're drinking, you should switch out 319 00:18:57,517 --> 00:18:59,000 with Mrs. Claus, [bleep]. 320 00:18:59,068 --> 00:19:01,068 [laughter] 321 00:19:01,137 --> 00:19:03,241 ♪♪ 322 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:05,275 [coughing] 323 00:19:07,275 --> 00:19:10,206 ♪♪ 324 00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:13,620 Oh, that smell, ugh! 325 00:19:13,689 --> 00:19:15,862 Only 48 more minutes to go. 326 00:19:15,931 --> 00:19:19,172 -[indistinct chatter] -[retches] 327 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,275 Put it on and keep drinking. 328 00:19:21,344 --> 00:19:23,310 You gotta keep it on. 329 00:19:26,172 --> 00:19:30,758 No, you gotta keep your nose on. 330 00:19:30,827 --> 00:19:32,586 [retches] 331 00:19:32,655 --> 00:19:35,241 ♪♪ 332 00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:37,172 [music continues throughout] 333 00:19:40,896 --> 00:19:42,137 -[Johnny] ...minutes. -[retches] 334 00:19:42,206 --> 00:19:44,068 -[Becky] Wow. -[laughter] 335 00:19:44,137 --> 00:19:45,896 [indistinct chatter] 336 00:19:48,137 --> 00:19:50,034 [bleep], you know, I'll let you [bleep] 337 00:19:50,103 --> 00:19:52,241 -take a break for a second. -[Becky] Alright. 338 00:19:56,482 --> 00:19:57,827 [retches] 339 00:20:00,482 --> 00:20:02,103 [Becky] Oh! Oh! 340 00:20:02,172 --> 00:20:03,413 50. 341 00:20:03,482 --> 00:20:06,482 ♪♪ 342 00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:10,000 -Oh! -[laughter] 343 00:20:10,068 --> 00:20:12,000 [indistinct chatter] 344 00:20:19,379 --> 00:20:21,241 [Johnny] Looks like we have a winner. 345 00:20:21,310 --> 00:20:24,482 [indistinct]. 346 00:20:24,551 --> 00:20:27,000 The winner of the 50 Egg Nog Challenge, 347 00:20:27,068 --> 00:20:29,379 Murray the Moderately Sober Elf. 348 00:20:33,068 --> 00:20:34,482 Preston... 349 00:20:34,551 --> 00:20:38,344 Have you seen a fat [bleep] snowman run by here? 350 00:20:38,413 --> 00:20:40,862 Preston... 351 00:20:40,931 --> 00:20:43,034 [bleep] come out, it's Santa. 352 00:20:43,103 --> 00:20:45,344 -[shower running] -[bleep]. 353 00:20:45,413 --> 00:20:48,413 -Tell him you didn't mean it. -I didn't mean it, I love you. 354 00:20:53,413 --> 00:20:54,517 [man] That hurt? 355 00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:57,344 ♪♪ 356 00:20:57,413 --> 00:20:59,827 [laughter] 357 00:20:59,896 --> 00:21:04,172 [music continues throughout] 358 00:21:19,275 --> 00:21:20,896 Did I spell it wrong? 359 00:21:20,965 --> 00:21:23,586 -How'd he spell it? -That's spelled right. 360 00:21:23,655 --> 00:21:26,310 Isn't it C-L-A-U-S-E? 361 00:21:26,379 --> 00:21:28,551 -[man] No E. -No E? 362 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:30,689 How about if I turn that into a smiley face? 363 00:21:30,758 --> 00:21:31,896 [Johnny laughing] Santa Clause. 364 00:21:31,965 --> 00:21:33,551 [bleep] idiot.