1 00:00:19,724 --> 00:00:23,137 Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxfield, and welcome to Jackass. 2 00:00:23,206 --> 00:00:24,965 One more time, Johnny Knoxville. 3 00:00:25,034 --> 00:00:28,344 Hello, I'm Johnny Nashville... 4 00:00:28,413 --> 00:00:30,206 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. 5 00:00:30,275 --> 00:00:33,689 Hey, I'm Johnny Nashville, welcome to Jackass. 6 00:00:33,758 --> 00:00:35,827 One more time. Johnny Knoxville, not Nash-- 7 00:00:35,896 --> 00:00:39,310 Hey, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass... 8 00:00:39,379 --> 00:00:40,655 -One more time? 9 00:00:40,724 --> 00:00:42,862 Hey, I'm Johnny Knoxville.. 10 00:01:04,103 --> 00:01:05,758 Come wash my back! 11 00:01:06,862 --> 00:01:08,862 Dude, this sucks. 12 00:01:08,931 --> 00:01:10,275 The fact that you don't skate 13 00:01:10,344 --> 00:01:11,517 isn't gonna make this pretty. 14 00:01:19,689 --> 00:01:20,965 -Good job out there. -Thanks. 15 00:01:21,034 --> 00:01:22,655 -Let's go hit the showers. 16 00:01:22,724 --> 00:01:24,344 Dude, you shouldn't do this, you can't even-- 17 00:01:24,413 --> 00:01:25,827 You can't even stand up on that thing. 18 00:01:25,896 --> 00:01:29,620 -Huh? -You shouldn't do this. 19 00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:31,448 Why don't you go down, practice a little bit down there 20 00:01:31,517 --> 00:01:33,689 -and then come up here? -Nah, just do it, 21 00:01:33,758 --> 00:01:35,758 Johnny, just do it, don't let him 22 00:01:35,827 --> 00:01:37,724 talk you out of it, man. 23 00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:41,620 One, two, three! 24 00:01:46,655 --> 00:01:49,275 Whoo! 25 00:01:51,034 --> 00:01:52,586 Chief Roberts coming back from the grave. 26 00:02:36,896 --> 00:02:39,482 The chances of this working are so minimal. 27 00:02:41,310 --> 00:02:42,758 -Later, dude. 28 00:02:42,827 --> 00:02:44,620 See you later. 29 00:02:44,689 --> 00:02:45,931 Oh, God... 30 00:03:38,517 --> 00:03:40,000 What're you gonna do? 31 00:03:40,068 --> 00:03:42,689 I'm gonna try to make it in the hole. 32 00:03:42,758 --> 00:03:44,034 Ready? 33 00:04:00,689 --> 00:04:02,103 skateboarding, man. 34 00:04:02,172 --> 00:04:04,137 -skateboarding. 35 00:05:10,793 --> 00:05:12,758 Oh, . 36 00:05:12,827 --> 00:05:14,068 What's its name? 37 00:05:14,137 --> 00:05:15,931 -Bam Bam. -Bam Bam? 38 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,896 -Yeah. -Bam Bam still has 39 00:05:17,965 --> 00:05:19,137 his claws, I see. 40 00:05:19,206 --> 00:05:20,827 -How much does Bam Bam weigh? 41 00:05:20,896 --> 00:05:23,689 He's, uh, he's close to 500 right now. 42 00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:26,034 When he wrestles, the more rambunctious you get, 43 00:05:26,103 --> 00:05:29,862 the more rambunctious he'll get. 44 00:05:29,931 --> 00:05:31,413 I think he'll be very upset. 45 00:05:31,482 --> 00:05:33,275 -Rawr! -And just so you know, 46 00:05:33,344 --> 00:05:34,517 when male bears fight each other, that's what 47 00:05:34,586 --> 00:05:36,517 -they do go for. -They go for the goods? 48 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:37,793 That's where they go. 49 00:05:37,862 --> 00:05:39,517 Can we have a cup? 50 00:05:42,965 --> 00:05:45,482 My name's Johnny Knoxville, and this is bear wrestling. 51 00:05:49,206 --> 00:05:52,172 -Hi. How are you? 52 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:58,965 Ahh! 53 00:06:01,620 --> 00:06:03,068 Try to get up, John. 54 00:06:03,137 --> 00:06:04,689 You can get up, come on. 55 00:06:04,758 --> 00:06:07,724 I'm n-- I can't put any weight on my back. 56 00:06:07,793 --> 00:06:10,103 -Ow! Ow! -Easy. Easy, now. 57 00:06:15,689 --> 00:06:17,724 Ow, my neck! 58 00:06:17,793 --> 00:06:19,758 Take your hand away. 59 00:06:19,827 --> 00:06:21,896 Move your ha--keep your hands away from him. 60 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:24,172 -Use your elbows. -He's alright right now, 61 00:06:24,241 --> 00:06:26,000 he tried to break my neck that time. 62 00:06:35,517 --> 00:06:38,448 That's it, good boy. 63 00:06:38,517 --> 00:06:40,931 Good boy. John, come on, get up. 64 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,655 He tried to snap my neck a couple of times. 65 00:06:43,724 --> 00:06:45,413 -We heard it. -Yeah, he was trying 66 00:06:45,482 --> 00:06:47,241 to--'cause he would-- he was smart, 67 00:06:47,310 --> 00:06:49,517 he'd get a grip and just rip. 68 00:06:54,172 --> 00:06:55,758 -Ready? -We're ready. 69 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,517 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, 70 00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:17,620 and I'm about to be dragged by a horse. 71 00:07:17,689 --> 00:07:19,827 Whoa! 72 00:07:27,206 --> 00:07:28,206 Ow. 73 00:07:28,275 --> 00:07:30,275 Whoa! 74 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,758 Dude, I just got dragged in . 75 00:08:10,655 --> 00:08:11,793 My name's Roller Bobby, 76 00:08:11,862 --> 00:08:13,000 and I'm about to fight some crime. 77 00:08:55,413 --> 00:08:57,793 No jaywalking. 78 00:08:57,862 --> 00:08:59,551 Wait for the green. 79 00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:02,275 Don't even think about going, it's a red light. 80 00:09:02,344 --> 00:09:05,379 You know the law, ma'am, no crossing on the red. 81 00:09:05,448 --> 00:09:08,241 Oh, yeah! 82 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,827 Alright, it's okay. 83 00:09:11,896 --> 00:09:13,103 Come on. 84 00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:17,620 Come on. You all--alright. 85 00:09:19,275 --> 00:09:21,793 Halt. Halt. 86 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:24,137 You know the law. 87 00:09:24,206 --> 00:09:25,689 Alright. 88 00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,620 Hey! 89 00:09:52,275 --> 00:09:55,000 I'm making sure no trouble goes down at the skate park. 90 00:09:55,068 --> 00:09:56,724 Go on, show us what you can do, mate. 91 00:10:08,827 --> 00:10:10,137 No jaywalking. 92 00:10:20,448 --> 00:10:24,448 So we're in Knoxville, Tennessee outside of Eddie's Auto Parts. 93 00:10:24,517 --> 00:10:26,310 Now, the owner is a friend of my father's 94 00:10:26,379 --> 00:10:27,689 named Eddie Harvey. 95 00:10:27,758 --> 00:10:29,620 He's got a really short temper, 96 00:10:29,689 --> 00:10:31,620 and we're gonna send Dimitry in there 97 00:10:31,689 --> 00:10:32,931 with a Russian accent to see how long 98 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,965 it takes him to get hot. 99 00:10:36,551 --> 00:10:38,862 Who Eddie? I need help. 100 00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:40,896 -You Eddie? -. 101 00:10:40,965 --> 00:10:44,068 I need help. With my car. 102 00:10:44,137 --> 00:10:47,310 She break. Down street. 103 00:10:47,379 --> 00:10:49,448 Uh... 104 00:10:49,517 --> 00:10:51,862 You want the mechanic? 105 00:10:51,931 --> 00:10:53,655 -No, Eddie. -That's Eddie. 106 00:10:53,724 --> 00:10:55,379 Who's Eddie? You're Eddie? 107 00:10:55,448 --> 00:10:58,034 I need sparkplug or something. 108 00:10:58,103 --> 00:11:01,068 -How much? -I ain't charge ya nothin', 109 00:11:01,137 --> 00:11:02,896 I said I'm gonna give it to you. 110 00:11:02,965 --> 00:11:05,206 I need more. What if break again? 111 00:11:05,275 --> 00:11:06,931 One. One to a customer. 112 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,862 Come on, you give me free, but is free headache. 113 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,758 But I need more than one. I give you for a dollar... 114 00:11:14,827 --> 00:11:16,827 No, you give me three more dollars 115 00:11:16,896 --> 00:11:17,896 or you're out of luck. 116 00:11:17,965 --> 00:11:19,827 I have rubles. You take rubles? 117 00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,896 I-I bring, I bring you dollars. 118 00:11:23,758 --> 00:11:27,172 Dude, he w-- he didn't get mad at all, nothing happened. 119 00:11:27,241 --> 00:11:28,827 -What'd he say? -He was gonna let me 120 00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:31,586 walk outta there with four spark plugs for $1. 121 00:11:31,655 --> 00:11:33,413 Go back in and try to get him hotter. 122 00:11:33,482 --> 00:11:36,344 -Okay, I find money. 123 00:11:36,413 --> 00:11:37,827 Give me spark plug, I need-- 124 00:11:37,896 --> 00:11:39,896 you sell engine, maybe new engine I need. 125 00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:41,275 Hell, I don't know what you need, 126 00:11:41,344 --> 00:11:44,034 I can't understa-- I'm not--hell, I can't 127 00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:46,482 understand nothing but the damn English language. 128 00:11:46,551 --> 00:11:48,068 I don't know nothing about no damn... 129 00:11:51,206 --> 00:11:53,965 You want a start? Hell, put some gas in it. 130 00:11:54,034 --> 00:11:56,068 -You're probably outta gas. -Okay, gimme some gas. 131 00:11:56,137 --> 00:11:58,344 What you been used to? Riding a damn bicycle? 132 00:11:58,413 --> 00:11:59,931 Riding a bicycle all the time? 133 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,965 -No, it's car, four wheels. -You gotta put gas in 'em. 134 00:12:03,034 --> 00:12:05,482 Okay, gimme gas. Pound, one pound of gas. 135 00:12:05,551 --> 00:12:07,724 Gas don't come by the damn pound. 136 00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:09,689 It comes by the gallon. 137 00:12:09,758 --> 00:12:12,517 If you want a gallon of gas... 138 00:12:12,586 --> 00:12:14,000 what is--do you want-- 139 00:12:14,068 --> 00:12:15,965 I need to go 50 kilometers. 140 00:12:16,034 --> 00:12:18,379 -How much gas I need? 141 00:12:18,448 --> 00:12:20,068 Pick up phone. I pick up. 142 00:12:20,137 --> 00:12:22,586 Hello, Eddie Auto. How I help you? 143 00:12:22,655 --> 00:12:25,689 Thank you--ah! I sue you. 144 00:12:27,275 --> 00:12:29,172 A dead man can't sue nobody. 145 00:12:29,241 --> 00:12:32,482 What you talking dead man? Where you going? 146 00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:34,896 A dead man can't sue you... 147 00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:36,586 Come on, help me, what, you gonna hit me? 148 00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:37,965 -You can't hit me. -I don't wanna hit you 149 00:12:38,034 --> 00:12:40,896 by God you standing right there where I can reach you. 150 00:12:40,965 --> 00:12:42,448 Reach me? You can't reach me, 151 00:12:42,517 --> 00:12:45,103 you can't hit me, come on, you need to help me with car. 152 00:12:45,172 --> 00:12:46,517 Put your damn hand out there... 153 00:12:46,586 --> 00:12:48,655 Here--ehh, you too slow. 154 00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,517 Hello? Eddie? 155 00:12:50,586 --> 00:12:53,034 Eddie? Help me, Eddie. 156 00:12:53,103 --> 00:12:55,827 I sit on chair till you come start car. 157 00:12:55,896 --> 00:12:58,689 No, chair. I need chair. 158 00:12:58,758 --> 00:12:59,896 -Get your ass outta here. -No, I need-- 159 00:12:59,965 --> 00:13:01,793 -I take this chair. -damnit. 160 00:13:01,862 --> 00:13:03,793 -I need chair. -Get the outta here. 161 00:13:03,862 --> 00:13:05,931 -I need chair. -I'm not... 162 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,896 -I need chair. -You need . 163 00:13:07,965 --> 00:13:10,000 Start car. I take bat. 164 00:13:10,068 --> 00:13:12,137 -Now get out the damn door. -I need start car. 165 00:13:12,206 --> 00:13:13,620 Get out the door. 166 00:13:13,689 --> 00:13:15,206 Who you? You not Eddie. 167 00:13:15,275 --> 00:13:16,862 I call police on you, 168 00:13:16,931 --> 00:13:18,862 Eddie and no-name friend. 169 00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:20,931 I need you start my car. 170 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,517 No! 171 00:13:22,586 --> 00:13:24,103 You start my car! 172 00:13:24,172 --> 00:13:26,827 Come on. 173 00:13:30,241 --> 00:13:31,724 You start car. Come on, what, 174 00:13:31,793 --> 00:13:33,827 you gonna get me? 175 00:13:36,241 --> 00:13:37,896 Stupid son of a bitch. 176 00:13:48,172 --> 00:13:49,931 -Ready? -Ready. 177 00:14:00,413 --> 00:14:02,827 Thought you were gonna kickflip it, you little bitch. 178 00:14:31,034 --> 00:14:34,241 Yarr, here we are with Ryan, arr! 179 00:14:34,310 --> 00:14:35,586 And he's about to get 180 00:14:35,655 --> 00:14:38,103 a half ton of sloppy sardines. 181 00:14:38,172 --> 00:14:41,413 buried all over him. 182 00:14:41,482 --> 00:14:42,827 Why do I always do the jobs 183 00:14:42,896 --> 00:14:44,379 that make me smell real bad? 184 00:14:46,862 --> 00:14:48,448 How cold do you think... 185 00:14:48,517 --> 00:14:50,137 Well, that's 32 degree water. 186 00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,551 Uh, guess what, if you got any nipples, 187 00:14:53,620 --> 00:14:55,689 they're gonna be about this long. 188 00:14:55,758 --> 00:14:57,551 Yo, he doesn't wanna go in. 189 00:15:03,965 --> 00:15:05,275 I can't move my legs! 190 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:21,793 It's so cold. 191 00:15:21,862 --> 00:15:24,689 That's so disgusting, 192 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,758 and I am so glad I'm not Ryan Dunn right now. 193 00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:29,344 You're gonna get in one of these tanks. 194 00:15:29,413 --> 00:15:31,068 Just get inside of it right now. 195 00:15:31,137 --> 00:15:33,172 -Okay. -This is gonna be fun. 196 00:15:33,241 --> 00:15:34,344 No, it's not. 197 00:15:34,413 --> 00:15:36,172 -Ohh! 198 00:15:36,241 --> 00:15:37,551 ! 199 00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:43,620 This is great. 200 00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:49,482 -Why are you dodging it? -Oh, it smells so bad! 201 00:15:49,551 --> 00:15:51,827 -Oh, bro! -stinks! 202 00:15:51,896 --> 00:15:53,724 Why are you dodging the water right now? 203 00:15:53,793 --> 00:15:55,379 You're gonna be covered in it. 204 00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:00,241 See ya later, buddy! 205 00:16:20,068 --> 00:16:24,034 -Oh, man. -Oh! Oh, it's on my face! 206 00:16:37,689 --> 00:16:40,275 -Shut up. -Oh, it stinks so bad. 207 00:16:42,758 --> 00:16:44,413 I'm with Raab himself, and he's gonna be 208 00:16:44,482 --> 00:16:46,896 biking his naked ass down the middle of High Street. 209 00:17:15,931 --> 00:17:19,068 So Rick's gonna demonstrate how we record a VO. 210 00:17:19,137 --> 00:17:20,793 A VO's a voiceover. 211 00:17:22,793 --> 00:17:24,034 Ah! 212 00:17:24,103 --> 00:17:25,758 Ow! 213 00:17:29,068 --> 00:17:30,517 What're you doing? 214 00:17:30,586 --> 00:17:32,000 -Ow! -You're not making any noise? 215 00:17:39,413 --> 00:17:40,724 Are we done? Ow! 216 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:42,689 Yeah, we're done, let's record it again. 217 00:17:54,103 --> 00:17:56,068 Come on, Steve-O. 218 00:18:04,655 --> 00:18:06,793 -Oh, my God. -Ugh! 219 00:18:06,862 --> 00:18:08,758 That is so gross. 220 00:18:08,827 --> 00:18:10,103 Ohh! 221 00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:12,379 -Where's your bike? 222 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:24,931 -Where's the unicycle? -Ohh! 223 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,655 Where's your bike? 224 00:18:28,586 --> 00:18:31,310 What do you think motivates this guy? 225 00:18:31,379 --> 00:18:34,206 God, if you're gonna be dumb, you better be tough. 226 00:18:34,275 --> 00:18:37,068 -Where's the unicycle? -We need the unicycle. 227 00:18:37,137 --> 00:18:39,068 -Dude, go get it. -Now you need to get back in 228 00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:40,241 and get the unicycle? 229 00:18:40,310 --> 00:18:42,275 Ugh. 230 00:18:42,344 --> 00:18:43,655 Have you smelled that? 231 00:18:43,724 --> 00:18:45,103 It's poo. 232 00:18:47,931 --> 00:18:49,344 Be careful. 233 00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:57,310 -You alright? -Yeah, I'm okay. 234 00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:07,689 That hanging on his chin! 235 00:19:19,827 --> 00:19:21,310 You got another one? 236 00:20:09,965 --> 00:20:11,620 Oh, my God. 237 00:20:14,137 --> 00:20:16,379 How did the unicycle stunt look? 238 00:20:19,241 --> 00:20:20,620 Alright, move to it out there. 239 00:20:20,689 --> 00:20:22,275 Move out there a little farther, up there. 240 00:20:38,275 --> 00:20:39,586 Oh, ! 241 00:20:44,482 --> 00:20:46,586 You'd like the man from Boston, 242 00:20:46,655 --> 00:20:49,241 who went around town in his Austin, 243 00:20:49,310 --> 00:20:53,310 he had room for a gal and a gash in his big, fat ass 244 00:20:53,379 --> 00:20:55,275 and his balls hung out and he lost 'em. 245 00:20:55,344 --> 00:20:56,965 Now, you see, you know about 246 00:20:57,034 --> 00:20:59,000 the man from Boston, now, don't you? 247 00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:28,965 Make it crack. 248 00:21:32,034 --> 00:21:34,172 Thank you, England!