Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxfield, and welcome to Jackass.
[man] One more time, Johnny Knoxville.
Hello, I'm Johnny Nashville...
[man] Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville.
Hey, I'm Johnny Nashville, welcome to Jackass.
[man 2] One more time. Johnny Knoxville,not Nash--
Hey, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass...
-[theme music] -[man] One more time?
Hey, I'm Johnny Knoxville..
♪♪
[music continues throughout]
Come wash my back!
Dude, this sucks.
[man] The fact that you don't skate
isn't gonna make this pretty.
[laughter]
-Good job out there. -Thanks.
-Let's go hit the showers. -[laughter]
[man] Dude, you shouldn't do this, you can't even--
You can't even stand up on that thing.
-Huh? -You shouldn't do this.
Why don't you go down, practice a little bit down there
-and then come up here? -[man 2] Nah, just do it,
Johnny, just do it, [bleep] don't let him
talk you out of it, man.
One, two, three!
[all cheering]
[laughter]
Whoo!
[indistinct chatter]
Chief Roberts coming back from the grave.
♪♪
[music continues throughout]
♪ You can take the moral high ground ♪
♪ I'm happy with the low ♪
[all groaning]
[laughter]
♪ You can take the moral high ground ♪
♪ And I'll be on my way ♪
♪ Hang onto your life but we're here to stay ♪
♪ Civilized society ♪
♪ I don't understand what's in it for me ♪
♪ Civilized society ♪
♪ I'll never understand, never understand ♪
♪♪
The chances of this working are so minimal.
[laughter]
-[exhales] -Later, dude.
See you later.
[deep breath] Oh, God...
[indistinct chatter]
♪♪
[laughter]
♪ I'm never buy in to the lies you're selling ♪
[spraying]
♪ Don't insult my intelligence ♪
♪ You're just another drone just doing what you're told ♪
♪ But with me they broke the mold ♪
♪♪
♪ I'm not a follower ♪
♪♪
♪ You're just a follower ♪
♪♪
[music continues throughout]
♪ You're so civilized ♪
♪ Civilized ♪
♪ You're so civilized ♪
[man] What're you gonna do?
I'm gonna try to make it in the hole.
Ready?
♪ Civilized society ♪
♪ I don't understand what's in it for me ♪
[indistinct chatter]
[Dave] "I love skateboarding]
[laughter]
[bleep] skateboarding, man.
-[bleep] skateboarding. -[laughter]
♪♪
[music continues throughout]
♪ I'm just a kid with a bad reputation ♪
♪ I know you wanna see me locked in the station ♪
♪ You should take a look at yourself ♪
♪ Before you all judge me ♪
♪ No no no ♪
♪♪
♪ You should take a look at yourself ♪
♪ Before you all judge me ♪
♪ No no no ♪
♪♪
♪ I wanna scare the neighbors ♪
♪ I'm movin', everybody's movin' out ♪
♪ I wanna scare the neighbors ♪
♪ So I'm a kid but I'm not into stealing ♪
♪♪
♪ You should take a look at yourself ♪
♪ Before you all judge me ♪
♪ No no no ♪
♪ So I'm a kid but I still got a future ♪
♪ Don't like my hair but it's not gonna suit ya ♪
Oh, [bleep].
What's its name?
-[man] Bam Bam. -Bam Bam?
-Yeah. -Bam Bam still has
his claws, I see.
-How much does Bam Bam weigh? -[roars]
He's, uh, he's close to 500 right now.
When he wrestles, the more rambunctious you get,
the more rambunctious he'll get.
I think he'll be very upset.
-Rawr! -And just so you know,
when male bears fight each other, that's what
-they do go for. -They go for the goods?
That's where they go.
Can we have a cup?
[indistinct chatter]
My name's Johnny Knoxville, and this is bear wrestling.
-[snarling] -Hi. How are you?
[snarling intensifies]
Ahh!
[groaning]
[handler] Try to get up, John.
You can get up, come on.
I'm n-- I can't put any weight on my back.
-Ow! Ow! -Easy. Easy, now.
-[indistinct chatter] -[monkey chitters]
[laughter, chatter]
Ow, my neck! [screaming]
[handler] Take your hand away.
Move your ha--keep your hands away from him.
-Use your elbows. -He's alright right now,
he tried to break my neck that time.
[roaring]
[roaring continues]
[handler] That's it, good boy.
Good boy. John, come on, get up.
He tried to snap my neck a couple of times.
-We heard it. -Yeah, he was trying
to--'cause he would-- he was smart,
he'd get a grip and just rip.
-Ready? -We're ready.
♪♪
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville,
and I'm about to be dragged by a horse.
Whoa! [laughing]
[laughter]
♪♪
Ow.
Whoa!
[music continues throughout]
[grunting]
[indistinct chatter]
Dude, I just got dragged in [bleep].
My name's Roller Bobby,
and I'm about to fight some crime.
♪ Come along ♪
♪ This is England ♪
♪ Hey, comin' atcha ♪
♪ Come along, everybody ♪
♪ This is England ♪
♪♪
[music continues throughout]
♪ And Big Ben telling me it's time to catch a tube again ♪
♪♪
[siren wailing]
♪ Come along ♪
No jaywalking.
Wait for the green.
Don't even think about going, it's a red light.
You know the law, ma'am, no crossing on the red.
[giggling] Oh, yeah!
Alright, it's okay.
Come on.
You all--alright.
Halt. Halt.
You know the law.
Alright.
♪ I'll see you at the river where the eye lights up... ♪
Hey!
♪ Come along ♪
♪ This is England ♪
♪ Hey, comin' atcha ♪
♪ Come along, everybody ♪
[groaning]
♪ Come along ♪
♪ This is England ♪
♪ Hey, comin' atcha ♪
♪ Come along, everybody ♪
I'm making sure no trouble goes down at the skate park.
Go on, show us what you can do, mate.
♪♪
No jaywalking.
So we're in Knoxville, Tennessee outside of Eddie's Auto Parts.
Now, the owner is a friend of my father's
named Eddie Harvey.
He's got a really short temper,
and we're gonna send Dimitry in there
with a Russian accent to see how long
it takes him to get hot.
[bell dings]
[with Russian accent] Who Eddie? I need help.
-You Eddie? -[indistinct].
I need help. With my car.
She break. Down street.
Uh...
You want the mechanic?
-No, Eddie. -That's Eddie.
Who's Eddie? You're Eddie?
I need sparkplug or something.
-How much? -I ain't charge ya nothin',
I said I'm gonna give it to you.
I need more. What if break again?
One. One to a customer.
Come on, you give me free, but is free headache.
[overlapping chatter]
But I need more than one. I give you for a dollar...
No, you give me three more dollars
or you're [bleep] out of luck.
I have rubles. You take rubles?
I-I bring, I bring you dollars.
[bell dings]
Dude, he w-- he didn't get mad at all, nothing happened.
-What'd he say? -He was gonna let me
walk outta there with four spark plugs for $1.
Go back in and try to get him hotter.
-[bell dings] -Okay, I find money.
Give me spark plug, I need--
you sell engine, maybe new engine I need.
Hell, I don't know what you need,
I can't understa-- I'm not--hell, I can't
understand nothing but the damn English language.
I don't know nothing about no damn...
[speaking mock Russian]
You want a start? Hell, put some gas in it.
-You're probably outta gas. -Okay, gimme some gas.
What you been used to? Riding a damn bicycle?
Riding a bicycle all the time?
-No, it's car, four wheels. -You gotta put gas in 'em.
Okay, gimme gas. Pound, one pound of gas.
Gas don't come by the [bleep]damn pound.
It comes by the gallon.
If you want a gallon of gas...
what is--do you want--
I need to go 50 kilometers.
-How much gas I need? -[phone rings]
Pick up phone. I pick up.
Hello, Eddie Auto. How I help you?
Thank you--ah! I sue you.
[indistinct chatter]
A dead man can't sue nobody.
What you talking dead man? Where you going?
A dead man can't sue you...
Come on, help me, what, you gonna hit me?
-You can't hit me. -I don't wanna hit you
by God you standing right there where I can reach you.
Reach me? You can't reach me,
you can't hit me, come on, you need to help me with car.
Put your damn hand out there...
Here--ehh, you too slow.
Hello? Eddie?
Eddie? Help me, Eddie.
I sit on chair till you come start car.
No, chair. I need chair.
-Get your ass outta here. -No, I need--
-I take this chair. -[bleep]damnit.
-I need chair. -Get the [bleep] outta here.
-I need chair. -I'm not...
-I need chair. -You need [bleep].
Start car. I take bat.
-Now get out the damn door. -I need start car.
Get out the door.
Who you? You not Eddie.
I call police on you,
Eddie and no-name friend.
I need you start my car.
[Johnny laughing] No!
You start my car!
Come on. [banging]
[laughter]
You start car. Come on, what,
you gonna get me?
[laughter]
Stupid son of a bitch.
[laughter]
[indistinct chatter]
-Ready? -Ready.
[all cheering]
[laughter, cheering]
[man] Thought you were gonna kickflip it, you little bitch.
[indistinct chatter]
♪♪
-[foghorns blowing] -[seagulls hooting]
Yarr, here we are with Ryan, arr!
And he's about to get
a half ton of sloppy sardines.
buried all over him. [laughing]
[Ryan] Why do I always do the jobs
that make me smell real bad?
[man] How cold do you think...
Well, that's 32 degree water.
[laughter]
Uh, guess what, if you got any nipples,
they're gonna be about this long.
Yo, he doesn't wanna go in.
[all gasping]
[overlapping chatter]
I can't move my legs!
[laughter]
It's so cold.
[Bam] That's so disgusting,
and I am so glad I'm not Ryan Dunn right now.
You're gonna get in one of these tanks.
Just get inside of it right now.
-Okay. -This is gonna be fun.
No, it's not.
-[machine whirring] -Ohh!
[bleep]!
This is great.
-Why are you dodging it? -Oh, it smells so bad!
-Oh, bro! -[bleep] stinks!
Why are you dodging the water right now?
You're gonna be covered in it.
[machine whirring]
See ya later, buddy!
[laughter]
[indistinct chatter]
-Oh, man. -Oh! Oh, it's on my face!
[indistinct chatter]
-Shut up. -Oh, it stinks so bad.
I'm with Raab himself, and he's gonna be
biking his naked ass down the middle of High Street.
♪♪
♪ Hey, let's go, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, let's go, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, let's go ♪
♪♪
So Rick's gonna demonstrate how we record a VO.
A VO's a voiceover.
Ah!
Ow! [giggling]
What're you doing?
-Ow! -You're not making any noise?
[overlapping chatter]
Are we done? Ow!
Yeah, we're done, let's record it again.
[laughter]
Come on, Steve-O.
[laughter]
-Oh, my God. -Ugh!
That is so [bleep] gross.
Ohh!
-[Raab] Where's your bike? -[groaning]
[retching, spitting]
-Where's the unicycle? -Ohh!
[Johnny] Where's your bike?
[man] What do you think motivates this guy?
God, if you're gonna be dumb, you better be tough.
-Where's the unicycle? -We need the unicycle.
-Dude, go get it. -Now you need to get back in
and get the unicycle?
Ugh.
Have you smelled that?
It's poo.
[indistinct chatter]
[Johnny] Be careful.
♪♪
[indistinct]
♪♪
-You alright? -Yeah, I'm okay.
♪ I'm on the edge ♪
♪ Of Armageddon ♪
♪ And I ain't never ♪
That [bleep] hanging on his chin!
♪♪
[music continues throughout]
You got another one?
♪ We on the edge... ♪
Oh, my God.
How did the unicycle stunt look?
[man] Alright, move to it out there.
Move out there a little farther, up there.
[indistinct chatter]
-[bull bellowing] -[screams]
[laughter]
[indistinct chatter]
Oh, [bleep]!
You'd like the man from Boston,
who went around town in his Austin,
he had room for a gal and a gash in his big, fat ass
and his balls hung out and he lost 'em.
Now, you see, you know about
the man from Boston, now, don't you?
♪♪
[laughter]
[music continues throughout]
[whip snapping]
[laughter]
Make it crack.
-[whip snapping] -[screams]
[screams] Thank you, England!