1
00:00:20,517 --> 00:00:21,206
>> THIS HERE IS THE BOUNTY

2
00:00:21,206 --> 00:00:22,482
HUNTER SKIT.

3
00:00:22,482 --> 00:00:23,344
HE'S THE BOUNTY, AND I'M THE

4
00:00:23,344 --> 00:00:26,689
HUNTER.

5
00:00:26,689 --> 00:00:27,758
HEY, CAN YOU KEEP AN EYE ON HIM

6
00:00:27,758 --> 00:00:30,103
FOR A SECOND IF I'M INSIDE HERE?

7
00:00:30,103 --> 00:00:31,068
JUST RELAX.

8
00:00:31,068 --> 00:00:32,000
JUST RELAX FOR A MINUTE.

9
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,034
KEEP AN EYE ON HIM JUST FOR A

10
00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:33,724
MINUTE.

11
00:00:33,724 --> 00:00:35,758
MINUTE.
JUST FOR A MINUTE.

12
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JUST FOR A MINUTE.

13
00:00:47,862 --> 00:00:48,620
>> COME ON, MAN, DON'T JUST

14
00:00:48,620 --> 00:00:49,344
STAND THERE.

15
00:00:49,344 --> 00:00:50,724
COME ON.

16
00:00:50,724 --> 00:00:53,896
HEY, HEY, HEY, GIVE ME A HAND.

17
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CAN YOU--

18
00:00:54,517 --> 00:00:55,206
>> ONE OF YOU GUYS GIVE ME A

19
00:00:55,206 --> 00:00:56,172
HAND WITH THIS CLOWN, HUH?

20
00:00:56,172 --> 00:00:57,034
[SIREN]

21
00:00:57,034 --> 00:00:57,965
GROW UP!

22
00:00:57,965 --> 00:00:59,758
[BEEP].

23
00:00:59,758 --> 00:01:01,896
>> YOU GOT SOME I.D. ON YOU?

24
00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:02,655
>> EVERYTHING'S TOTALLY IN THE

25
00:01:02,655 --> 00:01:03,689
VAN, YEAH.

26
00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:06,862
>> TOTALLY IN THE VAN.

27
00:01:06,862 --> 00:01:07,862
YOU JUST CAN'T CUFF A MAN LIKE

28
00:01:07,862 --> 00:01:08,517
THIS.

29
00:01:08,517 --> 00:01:09,206
BUDDY, YOU'RE DISTURBING THE

30
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PEACE.

31
00:01:10,034 --> 00:01:10,896
>> I'M SORRY.

32
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:11,965
HE'S A FRIEND OF MINE, ACTUALLY.

33
00:01:11,965 --> 00:01:12,689
>> YOU KNOW, FRANKLY, I DON'T

34
00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:13,344
BELIEVE YOU GUYS.

35
00:01:13,344 --> 00:01:14,068
YOU GUYS LOOK LIKE A COUPLE OF

36
00:01:14,068 --> 00:01:15,620
[BEEP] LUNATICS OR SOMETHING.

37
00:01:15,620 --> 00:01:16,379
>> YEAH.

38
00:01:16,379 --> 00:01:17,206
HERE HE COMES.

39
00:01:17,206 --> 00:01:17,931
>> HEY, HOW YOU DOING?

40
00:01:17,931 --> 00:01:18,586
YOU WITH THESE GUYS?

41
00:01:18,586 --> 00:01:19,241
>> UH--YEAH.

42
00:01:19,241 --> 00:01:20,000
WE'RE DOING A THING FOR MTV.

43
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:20,655
>> MTV?

44
00:01:20,655 --> 00:01:21,758
WHAT--YOU GOT A PERMIT?

45
00:01:21,758 --> 00:01:22,586
>> I DON'T HAVE A PERMIT.

46
00:01:22,586 --> 00:01:23,275
>> YOU DON'T HAVE A PERMIT.

47
00:01:23,275 --> 00:01:23,931
YOU GOT I.D.?

48
00:01:23,931 --> 00:01:24,793
>> I DON'T HAVE I.D. ON ME.

49
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,551
I CAN GO TO THE CAR AND GET I.D.

50
00:01:26,551 --> 00:01:27,620
>> I DON'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS.

51
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:28,724
YOU KNOW, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

52
00:01:28,724 --> 00:01:29,379
YOU COME HERE.

53
00:01:29,379 --> 00:01:30,206
YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

54
00:01:30,206 --> 00:01:31,344
WHERE YOU GUYS FROM ANYWAYS?

55
00:01:31,344 --> 00:01:32,034
>> FROM LOS ANGELES.

56
00:01:32,034 --> 00:01:32,758
>> YEAH, WELL, YOU BETTER GO

57
00:01:32,758 --> 00:01:33,689
BACK TO LOS ANGELES.

58
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FOR NOW YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO

59
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GO DOWN TO THE STATION HOUSE

60
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:37,206
WITH ME, OK?

61
00:01:37,206 --> 00:01:37,896
>> OK.

62
00:01:37,896 --> 00:01:38,655
>> CAN I FIND OUT WHERE THESE

63
00:01:38,655 --> 00:01:39,344
GUYS ARE GOING?

64
00:01:39,344 --> 00:01:40,103
>> THEY'RE GOING DOWNTOWN.

65
00:01:40,103 --> 00:01:42,000
GET IN THE CAR.

66
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,862
GET IN THE CAR.

67
00:01:45,862 --> 00:01:46,689
FELLAS, WE'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS

68
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FOR YOU.

69
00:01:47,448 --> 00:01:48,172
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR

70
00:01:48,172 --> 00:01:49,034
IMPERSONATING AN OFFICER.

71
00:01:49,034 --> 00:01:49,896
THAT'S A FELONY.

72
00:01:49,896 --> 00:01:50,655
AND YOU FOR DISTURBING THE

73
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PEACE, AND I THINK THERE'S A

74
00:01:51,482 --> 00:01:53,241
POSSIBLE WARRANT ON YOU.

75
00:01:53,241 --> 00:01:55,103
>> [BEEP] FELONY.

76
00:01:55,103 --> 00:01:55,862
>> A FELONY?

77
00:01:55,862 --> 00:01:56,586
>> THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE ME TO

78
00:01:56,586 --> 00:01:58,137
JAIL.

79
00:01:58,137 --> 00:01:59,241
>> WOW.

80
00:01:59,241 --> 00:02:00,275
IT DOESN'T HAPPEN LIKE THIS ON

81
00:02:00,275 --> 00:02:01,965
"COPS", HUH?

82
00:02:01,965 --> 00:02:04,448
>> NO.

83
00:02:04,448 --> 00:02:08,103
>> OH, AND BY THE WAY, I'M

84
00:02:08,103 --> 00:02:09,448
JOHNNY KNOXVILLE.

85
00:02:09,448 --> 00:02:10,517
WELCOME TO "JACKASS."

86
00:02:10,517 --> 00:02:12,000
>> SHUT UP!

87
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:12,896
YOU SON OF A BITCH!

88
00:02:12,896 --> 00:02:14,931
>> MOTHER [BEEP] [BEEP].

89
00:02:14,931 --> 00:02:15,586
DAMN YOU!

90
00:02:15,586 --> 00:02:16,379
>> MOTHER [BEEP], YOU GAVE ME A

91
00:02:16,379 --> 00:02:18,482
HEART ATTACK.

92
00:02:18,482 --> 00:02:20,000
DAMN, YOU [BEEP].

93
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,344
THAT WAS SO GOOD.

94
00:02:21,344 --> 00:02:23,000
[LAUGHTER]

95
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,034
[LAUGHTER]
>> OH, MY GOD.

96
00:02:25,034 --> 00:02:54,241
>> OH, MY GOD.

97
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:57,379
>> ♪ I'M GOIN' ON A MANHUNT

98
00:02:57,379 --> 00:02:59,068
TURN IT AROUND

99
00:02:59,068 --> 00:03:00,689
WOMEN HAVE BEEN HUNTED

100
00:03:00,689 --> 00:03:03,000
NOW WE'RE HUNTING AROUND

101
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,551
MANHUNT

102
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,793
WE ALL GOT OUR NEEDS

103
00:03:06,793 --> 00:03:08,172
THE ONE THAT'S BEEN WAITING

104
00:03:08,172 --> 00:03:09,655
HAS TAKEN

105
00:03:09,655 --> 00:03:12,000
HAS TAKEN
THE LEAD ♪

106
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:19,551
THE LEAD ♪

107
00:03:19,551 --> 00:03:20,586
♪ YOU SEE HIM EVERY DAY

108
00:03:20,586 --> 00:03:22,793
IN THE OFFICE

109
00:03:22,793 --> 00:03:27,137
HE'S SEXY AND HE'S SMOOTH

110
00:03:27,137 --> 00:03:30,689
HE'S QUICK TO LOOK ME OVER

111
00:03:30,689 --> 00:03:33,793
BUT SLOW TO MAKE HIS MOVE

112
00:03:33,793 --> 00:03:35,827
I'VE BEEN SITTING AT HOME

113
00:03:35,827 --> 00:03:37,689
BY THE TELEPHONE

114
00:03:37,689 --> 00:03:41,000
HOPING THAT I'M IN HIS PLANS

115
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,689
THIS WAITING GAME IS GETTING OLD

116
00:03:44,689 --> 00:03:46,413
IT'S TIME TO TAKE MATTERS INTO

117
00:03:46,413 --> 00:03:51,137
MY HANDS

118
00:03:51,137 --> 00:03:54,068
I'M GOIN' ON A MANHUNT

119
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,137
TURN IT AROUND

120
00:03:56,137 --> 00:03:57,724
WOMEN HAVE BEEN HUNTED

121
00:03:57,724 --> 00:03:59,482
NOW WE'RE HUNTING AROUND

122
00:03:59,482 --> 00:04:01,448
YEAH, MANHUNT

123
00:04:01,448 --> 00:04:03,482
WE ALL GOT THE NEED

124
00:04:03,482 --> 00:04:05,034
THE ONE THAT'S BEEN WAITING

125
00:04:05,034 --> 00:04:07,103
HAS TAKEN

126
00:04:07,103 --> 00:04:11,551
THE LEAD

127
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:18,344
I'M OUT FOR THE KILL ♪

128
00:04:18,344 --> 00:04:20,379
I'M OUT FOR THE KILL ♪
>> [LAUGHING]

129
00:04:20,379 --> 00:04:31,034
>> [LAUGHING]

130
00:04:31,034 --> 00:04:32,379
>> HOW YOU DOING?

131
00:04:32,379 --> 00:04:34,413
>> HOW YOU DOING?
YOU GO TO THE AIRPORT?

132
00:04:34,413 --> 00:04:41,103
YOU GO TO THE AIRPORT?

133
00:04:41,103 --> 00:04:43,068
>> [BEEP]!

134
00:04:43,068 --> 00:04:45,068
>> [BEEP]!
SON OF A BITCH!

135
00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:59,448
SON OF A BITCH!

136
00:04:59,448 --> 00:05:00,793
>> TODAY I'M GOING TO DO A

137
00:05:00,793 --> 00:05:02,827
>> TODAY I'M GOING TO DO A
LITTLE SNOW SURFING.

138
00:05:02,827 --> 00:05:25,206
LITTLE SNOW SURFING.

139
00:05:25,206 --> 00:05:26,965
>> YAHOO!

140
00:05:26,965 --> 00:05:27,896
>> UGH!

141
00:05:27,896 --> 00:05:29,931
>> UGH!
AHH!

142
00:05:29,931 --> 00:05:32,482
AHH!

143
00:05:32,482 --> 00:05:34,517
AHH!
OH!

144
00:05:34,517 --> 00:05:43,793
OH!

145
00:05:43,793 --> 00:05:45,827
OH!
[BEEP]!

146
00:05:45,827 --> 00:05:56,000
[BEEP]!

147
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,000
[BEEP]!
OH, YEAH!

148
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:12,517
OH, YEAH!

149
00:06:12,517 --> 00:06:14,551
OH, YEAH!
YEAH!

150
00:06:14,551 --> 00:06:18,241
YEAH!

151
00:06:18,241 --> 00:06:21,517
YEAH!

152
00:06:21,517 --> 00:06:23,551
YEAH!
WHOO!

153
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:29,379
WHOO!

154
00:06:29,379 --> 00:06:30,275
>> HI, I'M STEVE-O.

155
00:06:30,275 --> 00:06:31,241
I'M SOMEWHERE IN LOUISIANA RIGHT

156
00:06:31,241 --> 00:06:31,965
NOW.

157
00:06:31,965 --> 00:06:32,827
I'M ABOUT TO GET MY ASS KICKED

158
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:34,379
BY CRAWFISH.

159
00:06:34,379 --> 00:06:35,448
>> HOW BAD DO THESE HURT IF THEY

160
00:06:35,448 --> 00:06:36,413
GET A GOOD PINCH ON YOU?

161
00:06:36,413 --> 00:06:37,793
>> WELL, DEPENDS ON IF YOU GET

162
00:06:37,793 --> 00:06:38,620
ONE LIKE THAT ONE.

163
00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:39,793
SEE HOW ITS CLAWS ARE LIKE THAT?

164
00:06:39,793 --> 00:06:40,724
>> WHOA, DUDE, YEAH.

165
00:06:40,724 --> 00:06:41,551
>> WE DIDN'T FEED THEM FOR 3

166
00:06:41,551 --> 00:06:44,655
DAYS, SO THEY'LL BE HUNGRY.

167
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:45,482
>> WELL, IT'S GOING TO FEEL KIND

168
00:06:45,482 --> 00:06:47,172
OF FUNNY GOING DOWN YOUR PANTS.

169
00:06:47,172 --> 00:06:49,241
>> HOW COULD IT GET WORSE, DUDE?

170
00:06:49,241 --> 00:06:50,482
THIS IS ABOUT--PROBABLY GONNA BE

171
00:06:50,482 --> 00:06:51,655
THE EQUIVALENT OF DOING A PETE

172
00:06:51,655 --> 00:06:53,000
ROSE SLIDE THROUGH FRICKING

173
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,241
THORN BUSHES.

174
00:06:54,241 --> 00:06:55,034
>> YEAH, THAT'S ABOUT WHAT THEY

175
00:06:55,034 --> 00:06:55,724
DO.

176
00:06:55,724 --> 00:06:56,862
THEY REALLY DON'T LET GO.

177
00:06:56,862 --> 00:06:57,620
>> THAT THING'S GOING TO KILL

178
00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:59,000
YOU.

179
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:04,000
>> THIS IS THE CRAWFISH DIAPER.

180
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,103
>> SOME IN THE FRONT.

181
00:07:05,103 --> 00:07:07,068
>> SOME IN THE FRONT.
>> [WHISTLING]

182
00:07:07,068 --> 00:07:10,689
>> [WHISTLING]

183
00:07:10,689 --> 00:07:11,689
>> ARE THEY BITING?

184
00:07:11,689 --> 00:07:15,965
>> AAH!

185
00:07:15,965 --> 00:07:18,000
>> AAH!
OOH!

186
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,965
OOH!

187
00:07:21,965 --> 00:07:23,655
AHH!

188
00:07:23,655 --> 00:07:24,482
>> WHERE'S HE BITING?

189
00:07:24,482 --> 00:07:25,448
>> HE CLAMPED UP IN MY

190
00:07:25,448 --> 00:07:27,413
FRONT CHEEK, DUDE.

191
00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:29,275
OH, AHH!

192
00:07:29,275 --> 00:07:31,724
AHH!

193
00:07:31,724 --> 00:07:32,413
OK.

194
00:07:32,413 --> 00:07:33,931
I THINK I'M DONE, DUDE.

195
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:37,000
OH, AAH!

196
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,896
[LAUGHTER]

197
00:07:39,896 --> 00:07:40,620
>> OH, THEY ALMOST BIT YOU ON

198
00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:42,172
YOUR NAME, DUDE.

199
00:07:42,172 --> 00:07:44,172
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

200
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:47,344
>> I THINK THAT SUCKED.

201
00:07:47,344 --> 00:07:48,172
>> YOU'VE BEEN CHECKED ON THE

202
00:07:48,172 --> 00:07:48,965
OPEN ICE BEFORE?

203
00:07:48,965 --> 00:07:49,724
>> I'VE BEEN CHECKED ON THE OPEN

204
00:07:49,724 --> 00:08:08,758
ICE BEFORE.

205
00:08:08,758 --> 00:08:09,862
>> I'VE BEEN ON THE ICE TWICE IN

206
00:08:09,862 --> 00:08:11,965
MY LIFE, BOTH WITH VERY POOR

207
00:08:11,965 --> 00:08:14,758
RESULTS.

208
00:08:14,758 --> 00:08:15,551
>> I DON'T WANT TO HIT MY RIGHT

209
00:08:15,551 --> 00:08:16,689
FOOT.

210
00:08:16,689 --> 00:08:18,551
>> WHO'S GOING TO HIT ME FIRST?

211
00:08:18,551 --> 00:08:19,931
>> I THINK OUR GOOD FRIEND HERE

212
00:08:19,931 --> 00:08:21,000
HAS GOT FRUSTRATION HE NEEDS TO

213
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:21,931
TAKE OUT.

214
00:08:21,931 --> 00:08:24,379
>> ALL RIGHT.

215
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,758
>> ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, UM, HERE WE GO.

216
00:08:26,758 --> 00:08:35,310
ALL RIGHT, UM, HERE WE GO.

217
00:08:35,310 --> 00:08:38,310
>> THERE YOU GO.

218
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,172
>> OK.

219
00:08:40,172 --> 00:08:41,896
>> THERE'S ONLY A COUPLE MORE.

220
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:42,862
>> THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

221
00:08:42,862 --> 00:08:44,931
>> THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
OOF!

222
00:08:44,931 --> 00:08:47,758
OOF!

223
00:08:47,758 --> 00:08:48,482
>> NOW YOU'RE A HOCKEY PLAYER.

224
00:08:48,482 --> 00:08:49,517
NOW YOU'RE READY.

225
00:08:49,517 --> 00:08:50,689
>> I'M NOT REALLY THE ARTFUL

226
00:08:50,689 --> 00:08:52,137
DODGER, AM I?

227
00:08:52,137 --> 00:08:54,137
>> CLOSE YOUR MOUTH!

228
00:08:54,137 --> 00:08:56,931
>> OOF!

229
00:08:56,931 --> 00:09:00,103
>> ONLY GIRLS STAY DOWN.

230
00:09:00,103 --> 00:09:02,551
>> [COUGHING]

231
00:09:02,551 --> 00:09:03,344
>> YOU'VE BEEN CHECKED ON THE

232
00:09:03,344 --> 00:09:04,241
OPEN ICE BEFORE?

233
00:09:04,241 --> 00:09:05,000
>> I'VE BEEN CHECKED ON THE OPEN

234
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:08,931
ICE BEFORE.

235
00:09:08,931 --> 00:09:12,724
>> OH!

236
00:09:12,724 --> 00:09:15,931
>> OH!

237
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:17,379
>> I'M ABOUT TO PUKE.

238
00:09:17,379 --> 00:09:18,068
>> REALLY?

239
00:09:18,068 --> 00:09:20,103
>> REALLY?
>> YEAH.

240
00:09:20,103 --> 00:09:26,620
>> YEAH.

241
00:09:26,620 --> 00:09:27,482
THIS IS THE LAST ONE, SO LET'S

242
00:09:27,482 --> 00:09:29,551
THIS IS THE LAST ONE, SO LET'S
MAKE IT COUNT.

243
00:09:29,551 --> 00:09:39,413
MAKE IT COUNT.

244
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,448
MAKE IT COUNT.
>> USE THE FORCE TO GET UP.

245
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:46,793
>> USE THE FORCE TO GET UP.

246
00:09:46,793 --> 00:09:48,551
>> GOING TO THE AIRPORT?

247
00:09:48,551 --> 00:09:49,344
>> L-A-X?

248
00:09:49,344 --> 00:09:50,689
>> YEAH.

249
00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:51,413
CAN YOU HELP ME WITH MY OTHER

250
00:09:51,413 --> 00:09:52,034
BAG?

251
00:09:52,034 --> 00:09:54,103
BAG?
MY BACK IS BAD.

252
00:09:54,103 --> 00:10:00,241
MY BACK IS BAD.

253
00:10:00,241 --> 00:10:02,275
MY BACK IS BAD.
>> [BEEP]!

254
00:10:02,275 --> 00:10:07,103
>> [BEEP]!

255
00:10:07,103 --> 00:10:09,172
>> [BEEP]!
[LAUGHTER]

256
00:10:09,172 --> 00:10:12,965
[LAUGHTER]

257
00:10:12,965 --> 00:10:13,724
>> I'M DAVE, AND THIS IS

258
00:10:13,724 --> 00:10:15,793
>> I'M DAVE, AND THIS IS
FULL-PIPE SKATING.

259
00:10:15,793 --> 00:11:12,586
FULL-PIPE SKATING.

260
00:11:12,586 --> 00:11:13,482
>> GRR!

261
00:11:13,482 --> 00:11:15,517
>> [SCREAMING]

262
00:11:15,517 --> 00:11:17,517
>> [SCREAMING]
>> GRR!

263
00:11:17,517 --> 00:11:22,103
>> GRR!

264
00:11:22,103 --> 00:11:22,965
>> I ALMOST HAD THAT ONE.

265
00:11:22,965 --> 00:11:23,827
I ALMOST HAD THAT ONE.

266
00:11:23,827 --> 00:11:24,517
I ALMOST HAD IT.

267
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,896
I ALMOST HAD IT.

268
00:11:25,896 --> 00:11:27,862
>> READY...SET, GO.

269
00:11:27,862 --> 00:11:30,172
[LAUGHTER]

270
00:11:30,172 --> 00:11:31,172
>> JOHNNY KNOXVILLE CHALLENGED

271
00:11:31,172 --> 00:11:34,517
ME TO A BOXING MATCH.

272
00:11:34,517 --> 00:11:36,931
AND RYAN, HE'S CHALLENGED ME.

273
00:11:36,931 --> 00:11:38,034
>> I DON'T WANT HIM TO HIT YOU

274
00:11:38,034 --> 00:11:39,586
IN THE HEAD.

275
00:11:39,586 --> 00:11:40,344
>> I DON'T WANT HIM TO HIT ME IN

276
00:11:40,344 --> 00:11:41,379
THE HEAD EITHER.

277
00:11:41,379 --> 00:11:42,275
>> I HOPE HE BROUGHT HIS PILLOW

278
00:11:42,275 --> 00:11:44,068
BECAUSE HE'S GOING TO SLEEP.

279
00:11:44,068 --> 00:11:46,275
>> RYAN'S GOING TO GET REALLY

280
00:11:46,275 --> 00:11:47,517
HURT.

281
00:11:47,517 --> 00:11:48,172
>> OK.

282
00:11:48,172 --> 00:11:48,965
I DON'T WANT YOU TO BOX HIM.

283
00:11:48,965 --> 00:11:49,793
DON'T STAY UP CLOSE TO HIM.

284
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:50,517
JUST KIND OF HIT HIM AND MOVE

285
00:11:50,517 --> 00:11:51,206
AWAY.

286
00:11:51,206 --> 00:11:51,931
HIT HIM.

287
00:11:51,931 --> 00:11:52,758
JUST KEEP ON MOVING AROUND.

288
00:11:52,758 --> 00:11:53,586
>> POINTERS AREN'T GOING TO HELP

289
00:11:53,586 --> 00:11:54,793
BECAUSE HE'S JUST GOING TO GET

290
00:11:54,793 --> 00:11:56,827
BECAUSE HE'S JUST GOING TO GET
ROCKED IN THE FIRST ROUND.

291
00:11:56,827 --> 00:11:59,896
ROCKED IN THE FIRST ROUND.

292
00:11:59,896 --> 00:12:01,000
>> OW!

293
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,034
>> OW!
[LAUGHTER]

294
00:12:03,034 --> 00:12:05,000
[LAUGHTER]

295
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,068
>> KEEP YOUR HANDS UP.

296
00:12:06,068 --> 00:12:07,413
BUT WHEN HE COMES AT YOU

297
00:12:07,413 --> 00:12:09,172
PUNCHING, YOUR OBJECT IS TO TAKE

298
00:12:09,172 --> 00:12:10,344
HIM DOWN BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT A

299
00:12:10,344 --> 00:12:12,000
STRIKER, CORRECT?

300
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,034
STRIKER, CORRECT?
>> RIGHT.

301
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:16,379
>> RIGHT.

302
00:12:16,379 --> 00:12:19,448
>> RYAN'S GOING TO GET ABOUT

303
00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:22,172
ZERO PUNCHES IN.

304
00:12:22,172 --> 00:12:23,000
>> THERE YOU GO.

305
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:23,896
THERE YOU GO.

306
00:12:23,896 --> 00:12:27,068
THERE YOU GO.

307
00:12:27,068 --> 00:12:29,655
>> BAM BAM'S PREDICTIONS: "A",

308
00:12:29,655 --> 00:12:32,379
DISLOCATED SHOULDER, "B", BROKEN

309
00:12:32,379 --> 00:12:35,068
ARM, "C", COMPLETELY KNOCKED OUT

310
00:12:35,068 --> 00:12:38,827
COLD, AND "H"...

311
00:12:38,827 --> 00:12:39,793
>> I'M RYAN DUNN.

312
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:40,655
I'M ABOUT TO DO SOME ULTIMATE

313
00:12:40,655 --> 00:12:42,206
FIGHTING.

314
00:12:42,206 --> 00:12:43,896
>> GO.

315
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:46,689
>> LITTLE HIGH.

316
00:12:46,689 --> 00:12:48,275
>> GET IN THERE.

317
00:12:48,275 --> 00:12:49,137
GO.

318
00:12:49,137 --> 00:12:50,000
DON'T LET HIM HIT YOU.

319
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,551
DON'T LET HIM HIT YOU, RYAN.

320
00:12:52,551 --> 00:12:53,413
GET HIM.

321
00:12:53,413 --> 00:12:54,551
GET HIM.

322
00:12:54,551 --> 00:12:55,206
GET HIM.

323
00:12:55,206 --> 00:12:56,137
DON'T STOP.

324
00:12:56,137 --> 00:12:56,793
>> HE'S DOWN.

325
00:12:56,793 --> 00:12:57,517
NO--BACK UP.

326
00:12:57,517 --> 00:12:58,379
>> STAY THERE, STAY THERE.

327
00:12:58,379 --> 00:12:59,379
>> YOU GOOD?

328
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:00,517
>> OH, I'M DONE.

329
00:13:00,517 --> 00:13:01,620
>> ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

330
00:13:01,620 --> 00:13:02,379
>> GOOD?

331
00:13:02,379 --> 00:13:03,965
>> OH, [BEEP].

332
00:13:03,965 --> 00:13:05,896
OH, MY GOD, MY HEAD.

333
00:13:05,896 --> 00:13:08,620
>> CAN YOU STILL DO IT?

334
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,689
>> CAN YOU STILL DO IT?
[APPLAUSE]

335
00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:13,379
[APPLAUSE]

336
00:13:13,379 --> 00:13:15,241
>> DUDE, HE HIT ME REALLY HARD.

337
00:13:15,241 --> 00:13:16,172
>> YOU WEREN'T THINKING RALPH

338
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:17,620
MACCHIO, THAT'S WHY.

339
00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:18,551
>> I WON'T HAVE A REGULAR HEAD

340
00:13:18,551 --> 00:13:19,206
ANYMORE.

341
00:13:19,206 --> 00:13:20,000
REMEMBER HOW I USED TO TAKE HITS

342
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:20,551
TO THE HEAD?

343
00:13:20,551 --> 00:13:21,517
>> YEAH.

344
00:13:21,517 --> 00:13:22,896
>> THOSE DAYS ARE WELL AND GONE,

345
00:13:22,896 --> 00:13:25,103
MY FRIEND.

346
00:13:25,103 --> 00:13:26,000
>> SO KNOXVILLE, I'M ON THE

347
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,275
PHONE.

348
00:13:27,275 --> 00:13:28,068
I'M GOING TO GET PUNCHED IN THE

349
00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:30,172
STOMACH RIGHT NOW.

350
00:13:30,172 --> 00:13:31,241
OK, JUST DO IT.

351
00:13:31,241 --> 00:13:33,206
DO IT.

352
00:13:33,206 --> 00:13:34,965
UGH!

353
00:13:34,965 --> 00:13:36,965
UGH!
[LAUGHTER]

354
00:13:36,965 --> 00:13:40,137
[LAUGHTER]

355
00:13:40,137 --> 00:13:42,034
KNOXVILLE, IT HURT.

356
00:13:42,034 --> 00:13:43,931
OOH.

357
00:13:43,931 --> 00:13:44,655
>> LET HIM HIT YOU IN THE

358
00:13:44,655 --> 00:13:45,275
STOMACH.

359
00:13:45,275 --> 00:13:46,000
>> DUDE, [BEEP] THAT.

360
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,137
HE'S AN EXPERT AT THIS.

361
00:13:47,137 --> 00:13:47,793
>> DUDE, JUST DON'T BE A

362
00:13:47,793 --> 00:13:49,000
LITTLE BITCH ABOUT IT.

363
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,862
>> JUST RELAX.

364
00:13:51,862 --> 00:13:52,655
>> JUST THE WIND KNOCKED OUT OF

365
00:13:52,655 --> 00:13:53,344
YOU.

366
00:13:53,344 --> 00:13:56,310
>> OOH!

367
00:13:56,310 --> 00:13:58,310
>> OOH!
[LAUGHTER]

368
00:13:58,310 --> 00:14:02,068
[LAUGHTER]

369
00:14:02,068 --> 00:14:04,551
>> DUDE, HE HIT ME HARD.

370
00:14:04,551 --> 00:14:05,689
>> GO BACK.

371
00:14:05,689 --> 00:14:06,482
>> LOOK AT THE KNUCKLES.

372
00:14:06,482 --> 00:14:08,137
>> YOU CAN SEE THE KNUCKLES.

373
00:14:08,137 --> 00:14:08,827
>> [LAUGHING]

374
00:14:08,827 --> 00:14:11,034
>> OH, DUDE.

375
00:14:11,034 --> 00:14:12,137
>> TODAY WE'RE GOING TO A SPERM

376
00:14:12,137 --> 00:14:13,241
BANK FOR THE FIRST-EVER

377
00:14:13,241 --> 00:14:15,103
"JACKASS" SPERMATHON.

378
00:14:15,103 --> 00:14:16,275
[ZIPPER]

379
00:14:16,275 --> 00:14:38,172
>> HEH HEH HEH.

380
00:14:38,172 --> 00:14:40,206
>> HEH HEH HEH.
>> WHY DOES HE SLEEP SIDEWAYS?

381
00:14:40,206 --> 00:14:46,068
>> WHY DOES HE SLEEP SIDEWAYS?

382
00:14:46,068 --> 00:14:46,758
>> AAH!

383
00:14:46,758 --> 00:14:49,758
[LAUGHTER]

384
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:51,448
>> OH, MY GOD.

385
00:14:51,448 --> 00:14:53,000
OH, MY GOD.

386
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,241
[LAUGHTER]

387
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,482
>> I HEARD YOU TALKING.

388
00:14:56,482 --> 00:14:58,172
>> THAT WAS SO COOL!

389
00:14:58,172 --> 00:14:59,000
>> NOW WHAT?

390
00:14:59,000 --> 00:14:59,896
NOW WHAT?

391
00:14:59,896 --> 00:15:03,517
CHESTER RUMBLE FLASHBACK.

392
00:15:03,517 --> 00:15:04,724
>> TODAY WE'RE GOING TO A SPERM

393
00:15:04,724 --> 00:15:05,793
BANK FOR THE FIRST-EVER

394
00:15:05,793 --> 00:15:07,655
"JACKASS" SPERMATHON.

395
00:15:07,655 --> 00:15:09,241
THE EVENTS WHICH THE CONTESTANTS

396
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:11,034
WILL BE JUDGED WILL BE SPERM

397
00:15:11,034 --> 00:15:13,379
COUNT, POTENCY OF THE SPERM,

398
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:16,206
VOLUME, AND SPEED.

399
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:18,620
LET THE GAMES...

400
00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:19,793
BEGIN.

401
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:20,896
STEPHANIE WILL BE OUR NURSE

402
00:15:20,896 --> 00:15:21,827
TODAY.

403
00:15:21,827 --> 00:15:24,000
SHE WILL BE TRANSPORTING THE

404
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,517
SAMPLES FROM THE CONTESTANT TO

405
00:15:27,517 --> 00:15:28,689
ANOTHER NURSE.

406
00:15:28,689 --> 00:15:29,517
NOW WE'RE GOING TO DRAW THE

407
00:15:29,517 --> 00:15:33,000
NAMES TO SEE WHO GOES FIRST.

408
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,689
>> ALL RIGHT, FIRST,

409
00:15:34,689 --> 00:15:37,034
♪ DU DU DA

410
00:15:37,034 --> 00:15:39,620
PRESTON.

411
00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:41,034
>> I HAVE THE POLE POSITION,

412
00:15:41,034 --> 00:15:42,275
WHICH PROBABLY IS AN ADVANTAGE

413
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,758
IN THIS SITUATION.

414
00:15:43,758 --> 00:15:44,793
I HAVE TO SET THE PACE TIME.

415
00:15:44,793 --> 00:15:46,655
THAT MIGHT BE HARD.

416
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:47,620
I THINK I CAN HANDLE IT.

417
00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:48,655
MY DAD WAS A MARINE CORPS

418
00:15:48,655 --> 00:15:50,413
CHAMPION AT PARIS ISLAND.

419
00:15:50,413 --> 00:15:51,931
>> SINCE ONE OF THE EVENTS TODAY

420
00:15:51,931 --> 00:15:53,379
WILL BE A SPEED ROUND, WHO CAN

421
00:15:53,379 --> 00:15:56,103
DELIVER THE FASTEST, LOOMIS WILL

422
00:15:56,103 --> 00:15:57,482
HAVE A STOPWATCH, AND HE'LL

423
00:15:57,482 --> 00:15:59,172
TIME THE ENTRANTS FROM THE POINT

424
00:15:59,172 --> 00:16:00,206
THEY WALK IN THE DOOR TO THE

425
00:16:00,206 --> 00:16:02,517
POINT THEY WALK OUT OF THE DOOR.

426
00:16:02,517 --> 00:16:03,896
>> THIS IS YOURS.

427
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:06,482
WE'LL SEE YOU IN A FEW MINUTES.

428
00:16:06,482 --> 00:16:07,413
>> I JUST NEED TO FRISK YOU

429
00:16:07,413 --> 00:16:11,827
FIRST.

430
00:16:11,827 --> 00:16:13,448
WHAT'S THAT?

431
00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:14,551
>> THAT'S LITTLE P.

432
00:16:14,551 --> 00:16:15,206
>> ALL RIGHT.

433
00:16:15,206 --> 00:16:20,034
YOU'RE CLEAN.

434
00:16:20,034 --> 00:16:20,758
>> YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PUT IT

435
00:16:20,758 --> 00:16:23,034
THROUGH THERE, FOOL.

436
00:16:23,034 --> 00:16:24,620
>> [GIGGLES]

437
00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:25,551
>> TIME?

438
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,586
>> 5:50.

439
00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:29,275
>> I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS BECAUSE

440
00:16:29,275 --> 00:16:32,172
I'M WITH A BUNCH OF DUDES, AND,

441
00:16:32,172 --> 00:16:33,034
FRANKLY, I DON'T THINK I CAN DO

442
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,310
IT AROUND THESE GUYS.

443
00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:36,103
>> SEE YOU LATER.

444
00:16:36,103 --> 00:16:37,172
>> DID YOU WALK IN THERE ERECT

445
00:16:37,172 --> 00:16:37,862
ALREADY?

446
00:16:37,862 --> 00:16:38,482
>> NO.

447
00:16:38,482 --> 00:16:39,344
IT WAS KIND OF HARD.

448
00:16:39,344 --> 00:16:40,310
THAT WAS MORE MINUTES GETTING

449
00:16:40,310 --> 00:16:41,206
IT...

450
00:16:41,206 --> 00:16:41,931
>> UP.

451
00:16:41,931 --> 00:16:43,586
>> UP THAN GETTING IT OUT.

452
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:47,068
>> WE'RE AT 11 1/2 MINUTES.

453
00:16:47,068 --> 00:16:47,827
>> I THINK WE'RE BOUND TO BE

454
00:16:47,827 --> 00:16:49,793
HERE ALL DAY.

455
00:16:49,793 --> 00:16:51,344
COME ON, KOSICK.

456
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:55,206
COME ON!

457
00:16:55,206 --> 00:16:57,137
>> WHERE IS IT?

458
00:16:57,137 --> 00:16:58,068
>> WHEW.

459
00:16:58,068 --> 00:16:59,310
>> TIME?

460
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,655
>> 13:29.

461
00:17:01,655 --> 00:17:02,655
>> I WONDER IF THAT'S A BAD

462
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:03,586
THING OR A GOOD THING IN THE

463
00:17:03,586 --> 00:17:06,344
LONG RUN.

464
00:17:06,344 --> 00:17:08,931
GOOD LUCK.

465
00:17:08,931 --> 00:17:10,482
BREAK A LEG.

466
00:17:10,482 --> 00:17:11,379
I WONDER IF THEY CAN, LIKE,

467
00:17:11,379 --> 00:17:12,344
SMELL EACH OTHER WHEN THEY GO

468
00:17:12,344 --> 00:17:14,965
IN THERE.

469
00:17:14,965 --> 00:17:17,000
IN THERE.
[LAUGHTER]

470
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,482
[LAUGHTER]

471
00:17:19,482 --> 00:17:20,310
DOESN'T REALLY LOOK LIKE THAT

472
00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:21,758
MUCH, HUH?

473
00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:24,551
>> I COULDN'T GET IT UP.

474
00:17:24,551 --> 00:17:25,793
I'M TIRED.

475
00:17:25,793 --> 00:17:28,275
>> JOHNNY PISCES KNOXVILLE.

476
00:17:28,275 --> 00:17:29,448
>> BUT I GOT TO TELL YOU GUYS, I

477
00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:30,275
GOT A SECRET WEAPON FOR

478
00:17:30,275 --> 00:17:33,344
SPEED...

479
00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:37,000
"AMERICAN GRIZZLY."

480
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,103
THANK YOU.

481
00:17:38,103 --> 00:17:38,827
>> PUT IT IN THE DRAWER WHEN

482
00:17:38,827 --> 00:17:40,068
YOU'RE DONE.

483
00:17:40,068 --> 00:17:41,379
>> READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, TOO.

484
00:17:41,379 --> 00:17:42,172
>> READ THE INSTRUCTIONS OVER

485
00:17:42,172 --> 00:17:45,379
THE SINK.

486
00:17:45,379 --> 00:17:46,448
>> PAGING DR. STATEMAN.

487
00:17:46,448 --> 00:17:48,827
DR. STATEMAN, PLEASE.

488
00:17:48,827 --> 00:17:50,862
DR. STATEMAN, PLEASE.
[LAUGHTER]

489
00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:54,482
[LAUGHTER]

490
00:17:54,482 --> 00:17:58,137
>> LOOK AT YOU, GROSS.

491
00:17:58,137 --> 00:17:58,896
I FEEL KIND OF WEIRD BEING IN

492
00:17:58,896 --> 00:18:01,275
THE SAME--HA HA HA!

493
00:18:01,275 --> 00:18:02,965
>> PAGING DR. BENDER.

494
00:18:02,965 --> 00:18:03,724
>> I'VE GOT TO COME TO

495
00:18:03,724 --> 00:18:05,448
TERMS WITH MY SEXUALITY.

496
00:18:05,448 --> 00:18:06,310
I'VE GOT TO KNOW WHAT I'M ALL

497
00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:09,241
ABOUT.

498
00:18:09,241 --> 00:18:13,344
>> IT'S GOT HAIR IN IT.

499
00:18:13,344 --> 00:18:14,482
>> HOW LONG WAS THAT?

500
00:18:14,482 --> 00:18:17,000
>> 6:09.

501
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,793
>> YAY--OH, I'M IN SECOND.

502
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,655
>> ALL RIGHT, WEE MAN.

503
00:18:20,655 --> 00:18:21,310
YOU READY?

504
00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:22,551
>> YEP.

505
00:18:22,551 --> 00:18:25,103
>> FOLLOW NURSE STEPHANIE.

506
00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:26,206
>> HERE I GO.

507
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:28,206
>> HAVE A GOOD TIME.

508
00:18:28,206 --> 00:18:31,034
>> AND AGAIN.

509
00:18:31,034 --> 00:18:34,000
>> I WAS NOT EVEN HALF COCKED.

510
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:34,896
>> OH, YEAH.

511
00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,620
>> IT WAS LIKE WET SPAGHETTI.

512
00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:37,275
>> YEAH, IT WAS TERRIBLE.

513
00:18:37,275 --> 00:18:38,172
LIKE, WHAT THE--

514
00:18:38,172 --> 00:18:39,000
>> BECAUSE I COULD HEAR WEE MAN

515
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,000
GIGGLING OUTSIDE, AND THAT

516
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:44,448
WASN'T HELPING ANYBODY.

517
00:18:44,448 --> 00:18:45,896
>> ALL RIGHT.

518
00:18:45,896 --> 00:18:48,034
>> YEAH.

519
00:18:48,034 --> 00:18:50,517
>> 6:03.

520
00:18:50,517 --> 00:18:53,275
>> 6:03.

521
00:18:53,275 --> 00:18:54,413
>> NOT MUCH.

522
00:18:54,413 --> 00:18:55,517
>> NOT MUCH.

523
00:18:55,517 --> 00:18:57,896
>> BUT IT'S SOMETHING.

524
00:18:57,896 --> 00:18:58,655
>> I'VE GOT DIRTY STUFF IN MY

525
00:18:58,655 --> 00:18:59,793
MIND.

526
00:18:59,793 --> 00:19:00,758
I'M READY TO GO.

527
00:19:00,758 --> 00:19:01,655
THANK YOU.

528
00:19:01,655 --> 00:19:02,379
>> YOU BEEN SHAVING YOUR CHEST

529
00:19:02,379 --> 00:19:03,310
LATELY, PONTIUS?

530
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,862
>> OH, YEAH, I DID BECAUSE MANNY

531
00:19:04,862 --> 00:19:06,000
DOES.

532
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:06,758
>> AS SOON AS THE DOOR CLOSES,

533
00:19:06,758 --> 00:19:08,206
THAT'S WHEN TIME GOES.

534
00:19:08,206 --> 00:19:09,103
>> I'M GETTING NAKED.

535
00:19:09,103 --> 00:19:10,586
>> HURRY UP.

536
00:19:10,586 --> 00:19:12,206
>> HE'S JUST [INDISTINCT].

537
00:19:12,206 --> 00:19:13,793
>> AHH.

538
00:19:13,793 --> 00:19:15,896
[LAUGHTER]

539
00:19:15,896 --> 00:19:19,620
SUCCESS!

540
00:19:19,620 --> 00:19:21,344
[LAUGHTER]

541
00:19:21,344 --> 00:19:23,827
>> EVERYONE'S TRUMPED.

542
00:19:23,827 --> 00:19:27,413
>> 10:52.

543
00:19:27,413 --> 00:19:28,344
>> DOESN'T LOOK LIKE MUCH.

544
00:19:28,344 --> 00:19:29,689
>> IT'S UP ON THE SIDES.

545
00:19:29,689 --> 00:19:31,103
IT'S MOVING.

546
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:32,896
>> DID I HAVE MORE THAN PONTIUS?

547
00:19:32,896 --> 00:19:34,103
>> OH, YOURS IS, LIKE, CHUNKY.

548
00:19:34,103 --> 00:19:35,000
>> I'M GOING TO BE SO BUMMED

549
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:35,827
WHEN THEY ANNOUNCE MY SEXUALLY

550
00:19:35,827 --> 00:19:38,241
TRANSMITTED DISEASES.

551
00:19:38,241 --> 00:19:39,172
>> OH, HERE COMES THE DOCTOR

552
00:19:39,172 --> 00:19:40,793
WITH THE RESULTS.

553
00:19:40,793 --> 00:19:41,931
>> WHO'S JOHNNY?

554
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,344
>> JOHNNY, THAT'S ME.

555
00:19:43,344 --> 00:19:45,103
>> YOU'RE THE LAST.

556
00:19:45,103 --> 00:19:46,275
>> I GOT THE LOWEST COUNT?

557
00:19:46,275 --> 00:19:47,310
>> YOU'RE THE WORST.

558
00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:52,000
[LAUGHTER]

559
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,827
NOT FAR BEHIND IS PRESTON.

560
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:57,310
WHO'S CHRIS AND RICK?

561
00:19:57,310 --> 00:19:58,413
>> YEAH.

562
00:19:58,413 --> 00:19:59,862
>> IT'S 118, AND RICK, WHO'S

563
00:19:59,862 --> 00:20:00,517
RICK?

564
00:20:00,517 --> 00:20:01,310
>> RIGHT HERE.

565
00:20:01,310 --> 00:20:02,206
>> YOU GIVE HIM THIS.

566
00:20:02,206 --> 00:20:03,517
HE'S 144.

567
00:20:03,517 --> 00:20:06,000
>> OH!

568
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,517
>> KICK BUTT!

569
00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:10,137
>> RICK'S GOT GOOD SPERM.

570
00:20:10,137 --> 00:20:10,931
>> NOW HE'S JUST GOT TO FIND

571
00:20:10,931 --> 00:20:12,000
SOMEONE TO PUT IT IN.

572
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:16,655
[LAUGHTER]

573
00:20:16,655 --> 00:20:18,241
>> THIS IS THE GLUE HELMET.

574
00:20:18,241 --> 00:20:20,241
>> IT'S OLIVE OIL, HUMAN HAIR,

575
00:20:20,241 --> 00:20:22,068
AND HOT SAUCE.

576
00:20:22,068 --> 00:20:22,758
>> HANG ON.

577
00:20:22,758 --> 00:20:24,793
>> HANG ON.
>> DUDE, I'M HANGING.

578
00:20:24,793 --> 00:20:26,137
>> DUDE, I'M HANGING.

579
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:27,448
>> THE RESULTS ARE IN.

580
00:20:27,448 --> 00:20:29,206
VOLUME, THE LOSER WAS WEE MAN

581
00:20:29,206 --> 00:20:33,413
WITH .8 MILLILITERS, AND THE

582
00:20:33,413 --> 00:20:35,310
WINNER WAS DIMITRY WITH 4.0

583
00:20:35,310 --> 00:20:37,793
MILLILITERS.

584
00:20:37,793 --> 00:20:38,827
>> WE CONCOCTED A LITTLE FAKE

585
00:20:38,827 --> 00:20:41,137
SPERM USING LOTION AND WATER.

586
00:20:41,137 --> 00:20:42,379
IT'S GOING TO GO OVER SOME LUCKY

587
00:20:42,379 --> 00:20:44,310
CONTESTANT'S HEAD AT THE END.

588
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,724
I THINK KOSICK'S GOING TO WIN

589
00:20:46,724 --> 00:20:49,655
THE COMPETITION FOR MOST POTENT

590
00:20:49,655 --> 00:20:50,724
SPERM.

591
00:20:50,724 --> 00:20:52,344
SO HERE YOU GO, KOSICK.

592
00:20:52,344 --> 00:20:53,931
>> OH!

593
00:20:53,931 --> 00:20:57,137
[LAUGHTER]

594
00:20:57,137 --> 00:20:59,103
>> GROSS.

595
00:20:59,103 --> 00:20:59,758
>> DUDE, IS THAT REAL?

596
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:02,344
>> THAT'S ALL OF IT.

597
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,310
>> THAT'S ALL OF IT.
>> UGH!

598
00:21:04,310 --> 00:21:07,931
>> UGH!

599
00:21:07,931 --> 00:21:09,103
>> OOF!

600
00:21:09,103 --> 00:21:09,793
[LAUGHTER]

601
00:21:09,793 --> 00:21:10,448
>> THIS WOULD WORK GREAT

602
00:21:10,448 --> 00:21:12,482
>> THIS WOULD WORK GREAT
WITHOUT YOU IN IT.

603
00:21:12,482 --> 00:21:21,344
WITHOUT YOU IN IT.

604
00:21:21,344 --> 00:21:22,137
>> SO YOU GUYS WEAR BIKINIS

605
00:21:22,137 --> 00:21:23,379
AROUND HERE?

606
00:21:23,379 --> 00:21:25,344
>> NO, WE DON'T WEAR ANYTHING.

607
00:21:25,344 --> 00:21:26,379
>> THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT

608
00:21:26,379 --> 00:21:27,310
THE CHINO THAT JUST NEVER GETS

609
00:21:27,310 --> 00:21:29,586
OLD.

610
00:21:29,586 --> 00:21:30,793
>> AH!

611
00:21:30,793 --> 00:21:32,827
>> AH!
>> [LAUGHING]