1 00:00:20,965 --> 00:00:22,241 ...be quiet. 2 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:24,655 Say it. 3 00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:25,862 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. 4 00:00:25,931 --> 00:00:27,586 Welcome to Jackass. 5 00:00:29,103 --> 00:00:30,931 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. 6 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,275 Welcome to Jackass. 7 00:00:32,344 --> 00:00:33,827 I can't do it! 8 00:00:33,896 --> 00:00:35,827 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. 9 00:00:35,896 --> 00:00:37,344 Welcome to Jackass. 10 00:00:38,448 --> 00:00:39,655 Oh... 11 00:00:39,724 --> 00:00:40,965 Don't, don't, Mom. Come on, Ma. 12 00:01:05,586 --> 00:01:06,862 Come wash my back! 13 00:01:07,965 --> 00:01:09,482 My name's Johnny Knoxville. 14 00:01:09,551 --> 00:01:11,758 And today I'm gonna try and glue myself 15 00:01:11,827 --> 00:01:13,689 to a steel beam... 16 00:01:13,758 --> 00:01:16,000 by my helmet. 17 00:01:16,068 --> 00:01:17,931 It's olive oil, 18 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,344 human hair, and hot sauce. 19 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,482 What a glorious little sludge. 20 00:01:22,551 --> 00:01:24,482 Ugh. 21 00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,275 I'm gonna kill myself. 22 00:01:32,620 --> 00:01:34,413 This is the glue helmet. 23 00:01:57,275 --> 00:01:59,724 -Hang on! -You're not hanging! 24 00:01:59,793 --> 00:02:03,172 -Ahh! 25 00:02:03,241 --> 00:02:04,517 Oh! 26 00:02:05,689 --> 00:02:07,137 Oh! 27 00:02:11,724 --> 00:02:12,862 Give me a towel. 28 00:02:12,931 --> 00:02:14,689 It's spicy. 29 00:02:15,827 --> 00:02:17,000 Smells spicy. 30 00:02:17,068 --> 00:02:18,310 You kinda look like Cousin Itt. 31 00:02:18,379 --> 00:02:20,655 Oh, I feel like Cousin Itt. 32 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,241 Dude, I'm sorry. Wait, stand still, stand still. 33 00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:27,241 My knee. off. 34 00:02:27,310 --> 00:02:29,241 Don't with me. 35 00:02:29,310 --> 00:02:30,724 Oh, you're not gonna pass... 36 00:02:32,689 --> 00:02:34,827 -Ready? -This is gonna hurt. 37 00:02:40,413 --> 00:02:42,137 -Oh-ho-ho! 38 00:03:10,931 --> 00:03:12,793 He hit me right in the chin. 39 00:03:14,586 --> 00:03:16,068 -Oh! 40 00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:51,034 Hey! 41 00:04:00,655 --> 00:04:01,965 See you at the office. 42 00:04:14,241 --> 00:04:15,793 These definitely need to be done on time, let me tell you that. 43 00:04:21,379 --> 00:04:22,724 Whoa! 44 00:04:37,413 --> 00:04:39,965 I can't believe he's making it. 45 00:04:40,034 --> 00:04:41,551 He's rocking it out, dude. 46 00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:46,000 Hi, I'm Steve-O, and this is extreme unicycling. 47 00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:04,344 Whoa! 48 00:05:16,172 --> 00:05:17,310 Let's do it! 49 00:05:23,793 --> 00:05:25,344 Dude... 50 00:05:25,413 --> 00:05:26,620 You're the man. 51 00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:46,241 Whoa! 52 00:06:10,517 --> 00:06:12,103 Didn't hurt me. 53 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:15,413 I knew I was completely finished when I did the cement side. 54 00:06:20,275 --> 00:06:21,482 Oh, God. 55 00:06:21,551 --> 00:06:22,758 Excuse me, man. Excuse me, dude. 56 00:06:22,827 --> 00:06:24,137 Oh, God! 57 00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,344 Oh! Oh, God! 58 00:06:27,413 --> 00:06:28,862 -Oh, crap! 59 00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:44,620 Oh, man. 60 00:06:44,689 --> 00:06:46,000 Oh! 61 00:06:48,413 --> 00:06:50,551 Son of a bitch. 62 00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,172 Oh, God. 63 00:06:57,655 --> 00:07:00,620 Ah, God! 64 00:07:00,689 --> 00:07:02,931 Oh, son of a bitch! 65 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,586 -Oh! Oh! 66 00:07:06,655 --> 00:07:09,586 -Crap! 67 00:07:13,241 --> 00:07:15,793 Oh, God, why? Why me? 68 00:07:15,862 --> 00:07:18,758 -Oh, God! 69 00:07:25,068 --> 00:07:26,137 Whew. 70 00:07:37,448 --> 00:07:39,034 Oh, son of a bitch. 71 00:07:40,206 --> 00:07:41,620 Oh, God. Excuse me, man. 72 00:07:41,689 --> 00:07:43,620 Excuse me, dude. Oh, God. 73 00:07:45,172 --> 00:07:47,448 Oh, God! 74 00:07:47,517 --> 00:07:48,965 -Oh, crap! 75 00:07:49,034 --> 00:07:51,241 Oh, my goodness. Oh, goody. 76 00:07:51,310 --> 00:07:52,931 Oh, my . 77 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,206 Oh, God! 78 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,586 -Oh! 79 00:08:06,827 --> 00:08:08,275 Damn. 80 00:08:08,344 --> 00:08:09,586 Oh, man. 81 00:08:13,724 --> 00:08:15,344 Oh, God. 82 00:08:15,413 --> 00:08:16,620 Oh, . 83 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:20,034 Oh, . 84 00:08:20,103 --> 00:08:21,724 -Oh, man! 85 00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:25,551 -Oh, . Oh! 86 00:08:34,344 --> 00:08:35,655 Oh, . 87 00:08:37,241 --> 00:08:39,000 Son of a bitch! 88 00:08:49,448 --> 00:08:50,448 Whoo! 89 00:09:14,551 --> 00:09:16,551 My job on this show is to be naked, 90 00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:17,931 not kill myself. 91 00:09:21,068 --> 00:09:23,000 This sucks so bad. 92 00:09:25,862 --> 00:09:27,620 -I'm so bummed right now. 93 00:09:27,689 --> 00:09:28,931 I don't want to do this. 94 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,137 Does Bunny need a hug? Come on, come on. 95 00:09:31,206 --> 00:09:32,310 Can I have one, too? 96 00:09:32,379 --> 00:09:33,517 It's okay. 97 00:09:35,965 --> 00:09:38,896 Today me and Ehren are riding on this enormous hill 98 00:09:38,965 --> 00:09:42,000 on this horrible tandem bike that has no brakes. 99 00:09:43,344 --> 00:09:44,758 We're dead. 100 00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:55,448 Come on! 101 00:09:55,517 --> 00:09:56,758 Whoa! 102 00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:17,620 That's all that broke Ehren and Brandon in months. 103 00:11:02,310 --> 00:11:03,448 Oh, my God. 104 00:11:04,758 --> 00:11:06,068 Holy . 105 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,896 -Holy . 106 00:11:11,965 --> 00:11:13,689 That was so fun. 107 00:11:13,758 --> 00:11:15,206 Aww... 108 00:11:19,827 --> 00:11:21,758 How hungry would you say you are? 109 00:11:21,827 --> 00:11:24,689 How hungry would you say you are? 110 00:11:24,758 --> 00:11:26,034 I'm famished. 111 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:27,586 Famished? 112 00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,310 Bottle skating. 113 00:11:34,379 --> 00:11:35,724 It's not a bottle. 114 00:11:35,793 --> 00:11:37,448 When you asked for these, what did you ask for? 115 00:11:37,517 --> 00:11:38,655 -Bottles, right? -Bottles. 116 00:11:38,724 --> 00:11:39,793 -I call them bottles. -Jugs. 117 00:11:39,862 --> 00:11:41,000 -That's a bottle? -Water bottle. 118 00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,241 A bottle is made out of glass. 119 00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:43,379 -I call it a jug. -It's a jug. 120 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,103 . 121 00:12:11,482 --> 00:12:13,896 -Nice fall, nice fall. 122 00:12:15,482 --> 00:12:16,896 Did I go a couple? 123 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,206 Oh, I hit my knee. 124 00:12:25,275 --> 00:12:26,620 What do you got? 125 00:12:26,689 --> 00:12:29,137 A water bottle. 126 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:30,724 It's not a bottle. It's a jug. 127 00:12:37,172 --> 00:12:39,413 -That was a good one. -That was really good. 128 00:12:46,206 --> 00:12:48,275 Oh, my God. 129 00:12:48,344 --> 00:12:49,620 Maxwell just farted. 130 00:12:49,689 --> 00:12:51,034 I just made a windy. 131 00:13:09,068 --> 00:13:10,758 Mah... come and get me. 132 00:13:15,448 --> 00:13:17,137 Mah... I want you. 133 00:13:20,896 --> 00:13:23,413 Shake that . You gotta work it for it. 134 00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:29,965 Maw... 135 00:13:34,344 --> 00:13:36,896 Mah... mah... 136 00:13:39,517 --> 00:13:41,379 Mah... 137 00:13:52,034 --> 00:13:55,137 And today we're gonna watch my nephew Dusty pass wind. 138 00:15:08,172 --> 00:15:09,275 . 139 00:15:09,344 --> 00:15:11,034 -. 140 00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:35,241 Can we go to the bathroom? 141 00:15:36,724 --> 00:15:38,448 Can we go to the bathroom down there? 142 00:15:38,517 --> 00:15:39,862 What? 143 00:15:42,206 --> 00:15:44,275 -How you feel? 144 00:15:46,482 --> 00:15:48,344 He's my friend. He's my friend. 145 00:15:50,758 --> 00:15:51,793 God, these emus are going around. 146 00:15:51,862 --> 00:15:54,034 They're breeding like-- like rabbits 147 00:15:54,103 --> 00:15:55,206 and they're killing people. 148 00:15:55,275 --> 00:15:57,448 A lot of nature hosts 149 00:15:57,517 --> 00:15:59,758 try to have more of a Zen thing with the animals. 150 00:15:59,827 --> 00:16:01,793 Not me. 151 00:16:01,862 --> 00:16:03,620 I want to prove to these guys 152 00:16:03,689 --> 00:16:06,965 that I'm stronger than them, I'm faster. 153 00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,241 I've got greater animal instincts. 154 00:16:09,310 --> 00:16:10,896 And I myself am an animal. 155 00:16:13,379 --> 00:16:14,896 Oh, he's looking at me. 156 00:16:14,965 --> 00:16:16,137 He like you, boy. 157 00:16:16,206 --> 00:16:18,275 The tips of their claws 158 00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:22,000 contain a poison most scientists compare 159 00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:25,586 to the sting of a thousand black widows. 160 00:16:25,655 --> 00:16:27,758 And you're looking at an animal with two or three toes, 161 00:16:27,827 --> 00:16:29,275 I don't know. 162 00:16:29,344 --> 00:16:31,620 I mean, that's a lot of black widows, you do the math. 163 00:16:31,689 --> 00:16:34,172 The best time to catch an emu is when he's freaked out. 164 00:16:38,310 --> 00:16:39,724 Don't run after him. 165 00:16:39,793 --> 00:16:42,206 There it is, there it is! You got him, you got him! 166 00:16:42,275 --> 00:16:43,448 Open the gate. Open the gate. 167 00:16:43,517 --> 00:16:45,275 -You gotta show these animals... -Lock him in. 168 00:16:45,344 --> 00:16:46,724 -...you're... -Stand on the side. 169 00:16:46,793 --> 00:16:48,965 - You the boss! -...that you are the boss. 170 00:16:49,034 --> 00:16:51,000 And you know, maybe if you feel attracted to them, 171 00:16:51,068 --> 00:16:52,862 you can get a little pleasure from them. 172 00:16:52,931 --> 00:16:54,689 I'm not gonna do that right now. 173 00:16:54,758 --> 00:16:56,068 All right? 174 00:17:01,241 --> 00:17:03,172 Emu hunter. Nice shot. 175 00:17:03,241 --> 00:17:05,448 -That's good. -Have you done that before? 176 00:17:05,517 --> 00:17:07,137 Yeah, they're pretty... They're not too bad, dude. 177 00:17:07,206 --> 00:17:08,793 That wasn't bad at all. 178 00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:10,310 Well, that was the most intense thing 179 00:17:10,379 --> 00:17:11,689 I've done in years. 180 00:17:13,482 --> 00:17:14,793 -Ready? -Yeah. 181 00:17:14,862 --> 00:17:16,655 Run up there. Run up there. 182 00:17:16,724 --> 00:17:17,724 There you go, Wee Man. 183 00:17:24,034 --> 00:17:25,448 Oh, my God. 184 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,448 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, 185 00:17:35,517 --> 00:17:37,310 and this is my father, Phil. 186 00:17:37,379 --> 00:17:40,931 And today we're gonna watch my nephew Dusty pass wind. 187 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,482 -Drop my pants now? -Yeah, drop 'em. 188 00:17:42,551 --> 00:17:44,137 Okay. Hack 'em off good. 189 00:17:44,206 --> 00:17:45,793 I'll hack 'em off good. 190 00:17:47,724 --> 00:17:48,896 -Oh, Lord. -Oh, my God! 191 00:17:48,965 --> 00:17:50,689 I think I got the wrong angle here. 192 00:17:52,413 --> 00:17:54,448 You need to duct-tape some hair off your ass. 193 00:17:56,206 --> 00:17:57,379 Oh! Oh! 194 00:17:57,448 --> 00:17:58,655 I already started. 195 00:17:58,724 --> 00:18:00,068 Oh, God, wait, wait. Not-- not yet. 196 00:18:00,137 --> 00:18:02,137 Don't start yet. 197 00:18:21,241 --> 00:18:23,034 Is that-- is that all you got? 198 00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:25,172 Yeah, I mean, it's like I'm about to crap and it's not-- 199 00:18:25,241 --> 00:18:27,172 Well, if you got to, you got to. 200 00:18:36,172 --> 00:18:37,862 How's the-- how's the view from back there, Rob? 201 00:18:37,931 --> 00:18:39,241 The view's great. 202 00:18:40,896 --> 00:18:43,034 I'm mean, three widow spiders and four goats screwing is... 203 00:18:48,517 --> 00:18:49,862 -Oh! 204 00:18:49,931 --> 00:18:52,379 Hey, Mom, come here for a second. 205 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:55,000 -Mom! -I can't. 206 00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:56,758 -Come here for one second. 207 00:18:56,827 --> 00:18:58,620 I can't. 208 00:18:58,689 --> 00:19:01,068 Oh, my God... 209 00:19:01,137 --> 00:19:03,172 Look, it's running down the... 210 00:19:03,241 --> 00:19:04,655 -He pooed. 211 00:19:04,724 --> 00:19:06,000 He pooed his pants. 212 00:19:08,827 --> 00:19:10,206 Is that it for you, Dad? 213 00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:12,620 -That's it for me. 214 00:19:12,689 --> 00:19:14,965 Oh, did you crap on the mic? 215 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,862 Hey, Lynne, look at that. 216 00:19:27,344 --> 00:19:30,413 Lynne, you need to get some toilet paper. 217 00:19:30,482 --> 00:19:32,724 Come on, go get it. Come on. 218 00:19:32,793 --> 00:19:35,275 He's your son. He's your son. 219 00:19:35,344 --> 00:19:36,724 -Go get it. -That's right, he's my son. 220 00:19:36,793 --> 00:19:37,793 It's right there. I'll show it to you. 221 00:19:37,862 --> 00:19:38,827 I'll show it to you. Come on. 222 00:19:38,896 --> 00:19:40,241 No! 223 00:19:40,310 --> 00:19:42,620 Lynn, there it is. 224 00:19:42,689 --> 00:19:44,758 Eww... 225 00:19:44,827 --> 00:19:47,241 Don't y'all get that on my rug. 226 00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:50,379 No, no, no, no... 227 00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:55,689 Please, God. 228 00:19:55,758 --> 00:19:58,827 No. 229 00:19:58,896 --> 00:20:01,068 Okay, take it towards the bathroom. 230 00:20:01,137 --> 00:20:03,620 Just close the bathroom. 231 00:20:03,689 --> 00:20:05,931 -No! 232 00:20:07,931 --> 00:20:09,862 Ugh! 233 00:20:09,931 --> 00:20:12,413 Man, God! Sick. 234 00:20:12,482 --> 00:20:15,931 Don't even think about touching that... 235 00:20:18,034 --> 00:20:19,448 It's gone. 236 00:20:23,206 --> 00:20:24,551 My mom's gonna hate this piece. 237 00:20:36,344 --> 00:20:38,275 -Whoa! 238 00:20:40,034 --> 00:20:41,517 Camera! 239 00:20:41,586 --> 00:20:42,931 -Is it gonna break? -No. 240 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,689 -Put your helmet on. -It's not gonna break. 241 00:20:45,965 --> 00:20:47,586 It couldn't be any better. 242 00:20:49,551 --> 00:20:52,103 Does it look like I'm really wearing the hat? 243 00:20:53,931 --> 00:20:54,965 . 244 00:20:55,034 --> 00:20:57,448 -Oh! 245 00:21:00,310 --> 00:21:01,517 Whoa! 246 00:21:11,275 --> 00:21:12,310 . 247 00:21:14,517 --> 00:21:16,172 That's me. 248 00:21:20,103 --> 00:21:22,862 Just knocked a tooth out. Look at this. 249 00:21:22,931 --> 00:21:24,379 That's tandem biking for ya, huh? 250 00:21:24,448 --> 00:21:26,379 -Did you even wipe? -No. 251 00:21:26,448 --> 00:21:29,896 -It just fell out clean. 252 00:21:29,965 --> 00:21:33,275 Good job, Dusty. Another fine performance. 253 00:21:33,344 --> 00:21:35,034 Why don't you go take a bath now?