...be quiet.
Say it.
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome to Jackass.
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome to Jackass.
I can't do it!
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome to Jackass.
Oh...
Don't, don't, Mom. Come on, Ma.
Come wash my back!
My name's Johnny Knoxville.
And today I'm gonna try and glue myself
to a steel beam...
by my helmet.
It's olive oil,
human hair, and hot sauce.
What a glorious little sludge.
Ugh.
I'm gonna kill myself.
This is the glue helmet.
-Hang on! -You're not hanging!
-Ahh!
Oh!
Give me a towel.
It's spicy.
Smells spicy.
You kinda look like Cousin Itt.
Oh, I feel like Cousin Itt.
Dude, I'm sorry. Wait, stand still, stand still.
My knee. off.
Don't with me.
Oh, you're not gonna pass...
-Ready? -This is gonna hurt.
-Oh-ho-ho!
He hit me right in the chin.
-Oh!
Hey!
See you at the office.
These definitely need to be done on time, let me tell you that.
Whoa!
I can't believe he's making it.
He's rocking it out, dude.
Hi, I'm Steve-O, and this is extreme unicycling.
Whoa!
Let's do it!
Dude...
You're the man.
Whoa!
Didn't hurt me.
I knew I was completely finished when I did the cement side.
Oh, God.
Excuse me, man. Excuse me, dude.
Oh, God!
Oh! Oh, God!
-Oh, crap!
Oh, man.
Oh!
Son of a bitch.
Oh, God.
Ah, God!
Oh, son of a bitch!
-Oh! Oh!
-Crap!
Oh, God, why? Why me?
-Oh, God!
Whew.
Oh, son of a bitch.
Oh, God. Excuse me, man.
Excuse me, dude. Oh, God.
Oh, God!
-Oh, crap!
Oh, my goodness. Oh, goody.
Oh, my .
Oh, God!
-Oh!
Damn.
Oh, man.
Oh, God.
Oh, .
-Oh, man!
-Oh, . Oh!
Oh, .
Son of a bitch!
Whoo!
My job on this show is to be naked,
not kill myself.
This sucks so bad.
-I'm so bummed right now.
I don't want to do this.
Does Bunny need a hug? Come on, come on.
Can I have one, too?
It's okay.
Today me and Ehren are riding on this enormous hill
on this horrible tandem bike that has no brakes.
We're dead.
Come on!
Whoa!
That's all that broke Ehren and Brandon in months.
Oh, my God.
Holy .
-Holy .
That was so fun.
Aww...
How hungry would you say you are?
I'm famished.
Famished?
Bottle skating.
It's not a bottle.
When you asked for these, what did you ask for?
-Bottles, right? -Bottles.
-I call them bottles. -Jugs.
-That's a bottle? -Water bottle.
A bottle is made out of glass.
-I call it a jug. -It's a jug.
.
-Nice fall, nice fall.
Did I go a couple?
Oh, I hit my knee.
What do you got?
A water bottle.
It's not a bottle. It's a jug.
-That was a good one. -That was really good.
Oh, my God.
Maxwell just farted.
I just made a windy.
Mah... come and get me.
Mah... I want you.
Shake that . You gotta work it for it.
Maw...
Mah... mah...
Mah...
And today we're gonna watch my nephew Dusty pass wind.
.
-.
Can we go to the bathroom?
Can we go to the bathroom down there?
What?
-How you feel?
He's my friend. He's my friend.
God, these emus are going around.
They're breeding like-- like rabbits
and they're killing people.
A lot of nature hosts
try to have more of a Zen thing with the animals.
Not me.
I want to prove to these guys
that I'm stronger than them, I'm faster.
I've got greater animal instincts.
And I myself am an animal.
Oh, he's looking at me.
He like you, boy.
The tips of their claws
contain a poison most scientists compare
to the sting of a thousand black widows.
And you're looking at an animal with two or three toes,
I don't know.
I mean, that's a lot of black widows, you do the math.
The best time to catch an emu is when he's freaked out.
Don't run after him.
There it is, there it is! You got him, you got him!
Open the gate. Open the gate.
-You gotta show these animals... -Lock him in.
-...you're... -Stand on the side.
- You the boss! -...that you are the boss.
And you know, maybe if you feel attracted to them,
you can get a little pleasure from them.
I'm not gonna do that right now.
All right?
Emu hunter. Nice shot.
-That's good. -Have you done that before?
Yeah, they're pretty... They're not too bad, dude.
That wasn't bad at all.
Well, that was the most intense thing
I've done in years.
-Ready? -Yeah.
Run up there. Run up there.
There you go, Wee Man.
Oh, my God.
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville,
and this is my father, Phil.
And today we're gonna watch my nephew Dusty pass wind.
-Drop my pants now? -Yeah, drop 'em.
Okay. Hack 'em off good.
I'll hack 'em off good.
-Oh, Lord. -Oh, my God!
I think I got the wrong angle here.
You need to duct-tape some hair off your ass.
Oh! Oh!
I already started.
Oh, God, wait, wait. Not-- not yet.
Don't start yet.
Is that-- is that all you got?
Yeah, I mean, it's like I'm about to crap and it's not--
Well, if you got to, you got to.
How's the-- how's the view from back there, Rob?
The view's great.
I'm mean, three widow spiders and four goats screwing is...
-Oh!
Hey, Mom, come here for a second.
-Mom! -I can't.
-Come here for one second.
I can't.
Oh, my God...
Look, it's running down the...
-He pooed.
He pooed his pants.
Is that it for you, Dad?
-That's it for me.
Oh, did you crap on the mic?
Hey, Lynne, look at that.
Lynne, you need to get some toilet paper.
Come on, go get it. Come on.
He's your son. He's your son.
-Go get it. -That's right, he's my son.
It's right there. I'll show it to you.
Come on.
No!
Lynn, there it is.
Eww...
Don't y'all get that on my rug.
No, no, no, no...
Please, God.
No.
Okay, take it towards the bathroom.
Just close the bathroom.
-No!
Ugh!
Man, God! Sick.
Don't even think about touching that...
It's gone.
My mom's gonna hate this piece.
-Whoa!
Camera!
-Is it gonna break? -No.
-Put your helmet on. -It's not gonna break.
It couldn't be any better.
Does it look like I'm really wearing the hat?
.
-Oh!
Whoa!
.
That's me.
Just knocked a tooth out. Look at this.
That's tandem biking for ya, huh?
-Did you even wipe? -No.
-It just fell out clean.
Good job, Dusty. Another fine performance.
Why don't you go take a bath now?