1 00:00:23,551 --> 00:00:25,827 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, 2 00:00:25,896 --> 00:00:27,448 welcome to Jackass. 3 00:00:51,931 --> 00:00:53,344 Come wash my back! 4 00:00:55,034 --> 00:00:57,172 Phil gets off work in 15 minutes, 5 00:00:57,241 --> 00:01:00,068 and I have 20 paintballs up in this biatch, 6 00:01:00,137 --> 00:01:02,000 and he's gonna die. 7 00:01:03,793 --> 00:01:05,034 -Oh, ! 8 00:01:05,103 --> 00:01:08,103 -Oh, my God. 9 00:01:08,172 --> 00:01:09,689 That hurt. 10 00:01:10,965 --> 00:01:12,413 . 11 00:01:12,482 --> 00:01:13,896 Oh, , Phil, 12 00:01:13,965 --> 00:01:15,448 I'm gonna take it out on you now. 13 00:01:37,034 --> 00:01:38,862 I got shot in the foot. 14 00:01:40,344 --> 00:01:42,689 Phil, I got-- I got shot in the foot. 15 00:01:42,758 --> 00:01:45,000 I was just testing it out, it felt like this. 16 00:01:45,068 --> 00:01:46,103 -Ow! 17 00:01:47,517 --> 00:01:49,206 I'm Johnny Knoxville, 18 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:51,241 and this is water tubingn. 19 00:03:16,827 --> 00:03:18,310 ! 20 00:06:32,344 --> 00:06:34,310 This is ice block skating. 21 00:06:35,827 --> 00:06:37,275 -Yeah! Yeah! -Yeah! 22 00:06:55,793 --> 00:06:58,413 This is Steve-O, and this is Dave England, 23 00:06:58,482 --> 00:07:01,034 and this is ice block skating. 24 00:08:03,413 --> 00:08:05,827 You know who's the best at this? 25 00:08:05,896 --> 00:08:07,689 -I am. -Dave, try it gain. 26 00:08:18,068 --> 00:08:21,379 This is BMX polo, there's not many rules, 27 00:08:21,448 --> 00:08:24,103 you just gotta hit the ball with your mallet 28 00:08:24,172 --> 00:08:25,689 through those two posts. 29 00:08:25,758 --> 00:08:27,551 Teams ready? 30 00:08:27,620 --> 00:08:28,620 Let's play. 31 00:08:42,137 --> 00:08:45,000 -Goal -1-0, 1-0. 32 00:09:36,206 --> 00:09:38,551 Next one to score wins. 33 00:09:59,172 --> 00:10:01,206 I'm Steve-O, and I'm gonna go secure the streets 34 00:10:01,275 --> 00:10:03,068 of Albuquerque, New Mexico. 35 00:10:05,724 --> 00:10:08,896 Everything okay here, sir? 36 00:10:08,965 --> 00:10:12,068 This isn't really the place to stand right here. 37 00:10:12,137 --> 00:10:14,103 Alright, can I get you to move it over a little bit? 38 00:10:14,172 --> 00:10:17,517 -Sure. -Alright. 39 00:10:17,586 --> 00:10:19,862 I've never been told that before so... 40 00:10:19,931 --> 00:10:22,517 Oh yeah, no, don't worry, you're not in trouble yet. 41 00:10:22,586 --> 00:10:24,275 Just wanna move you over a little bit. 42 00:10:24,344 --> 00:10:26,344 -How you doing there? -How you doing? 43 00:10:26,413 --> 00:10:28,517 -Man, right on. -Are you ? 44 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,827 No, I'm Final Frontier. 45 00:10:30,896 --> 00:10:32,206 What's that, Paul? Is that Paul? 46 00:10:32,275 --> 00:10:34,827 -Nah, Paulolski. -What's your first name? 47 00:10:34,896 --> 00:10:37,689 -Sergio. -Sergio, okay, okay. 48 00:10:37,758 --> 00:10:39,965 I'm pretty sure that I'm here to relieve you. 49 00:10:40,034 --> 00:10:42,310 -He ain't supposed to be here. -You're not supposed to be here 50 00:10:42,379 --> 00:10:44,275 till00, I'm not supposed to be-- this guy's not 51 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,758 supposed to be here. 52 00:10:47,862 --> 00:10:49,655 -What's your name, there? -Johnny. 53 00:10:49,724 --> 00:10:52,103 Johnny? Right on, I'm Sergio. 54 00:10:52,172 --> 00:10:53,586 I'm supposed to ride around with you and you're gonna 55 00:10:53,655 --> 00:10:55,172 train me for a little while. 56 00:10:55,241 --> 00:10:58,000 So I don't know, if you just wanna do a couple laps.. 57 00:10:58,068 --> 00:11:00,241 So they told you I was gonna train you? 58 00:11:00,310 --> 00:11:01,862 Yeah, uh-huh. 59 00:11:01,931 --> 00:11:03,689 Uh, this is my first day. 60 00:11:03,758 --> 00:11:05,655 First day working for --, they got you training on 61 00:11:05,724 --> 00:11:07,344 your first day? 62 00:11:07,413 --> 00:11:09,724 -I know. -Good lord. 63 00:11:09,793 --> 00:11:13,793 Here, why don't we get me in the-- let me drive, yeah. 64 00:11:13,862 --> 00:11:16,310 Yeah, I just wanna learn as much as I can. 65 00:11:16,379 --> 00:11:18,586 Alright, let's rock and roll. 66 00:11:26,896 --> 00:11:28,206 How's it handle these speed bumps? 67 00:11:28,275 --> 00:11:29,310 It doesn't handle them at al-- 68 00:11:29,379 --> 00:11:30,862 -Whoa! -Very well. 69 00:11:30,931 --> 00:11:32,482 Man... 70 00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:34,655 You have to be real careful in this thing, okay? 71 00:11:34,724 --> 00:11:37,896 Oh yeah, no, I don't wanna get us in trouble. 72 00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:40,103 -Get off the sidewalk. -Oh, okay. 73 00:11:40,172 --> 00:11:41,482 Johnny, I'm all done, man, for the day. 74 00:11:41,551 --> 00:11:43,000 Thanks a lot, man. Appreciate it, dude. 75 00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:44,448 -No problem at all. -I'll probably be 76 00:11:44,517 --> 00:11:46,000 -seeing you tomorrow, cool. -Okay. 77 00:11:48,551 --> 00:11:50,793 That was awesome, dude. 78 00:13:21,482 --> 00:13:24,517 Today Jack Pollock and I are doing the bloody carpet. 79 00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:26,482 We have a bloody mess here, 80 00:13:26,551 --> 00:13:29,103 and we're gonna have a carpet cleaner come over 81 00:13:29,172 --> 00:13:31,448 and see if he'll clean it up for us. 82 00:13:31,517 --> 00:13:32,586 What is this? 83 00:13:48,655 --> 00:13:50,793 -I'm Dave. -And I'm Ehren. 84 00:13:50,862 --> 00:13:53,310 -And this is... -Tandem snowboarding. 85 00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:10,862 Come on, Kosick, it's one of the last shows. 86 00:15:10,931 --> 00:15:13,655 -Just shave your head. -you, man. 87 00:15:13,724 --> 00:15:16,620 Dude, you look good bald already, you know that, so... 88 00:15:16,689 --> 00:15:18,034 -You think I should do this? -Do what? 89 00:15:18,103 --> 00:15:19,862 -Shave my head. -Of course you should. 90 00:15:19,931 --> 00:15:21,620 Or you know what he does, 91 00:15:21,689 --> 00:15:23,758 he gets bald and puts the... 92 00:15:23,827 --> 00:15:25,206 and he gets the thing bald, 93 00:15:25,275 --> 00:15:27,137 and he gets a toupee, and he bends over 94 00:15:27,206 --> 00:15:29,034 and his toupee falls off in front of people. 95 00:15:29,103 --> 00:15:31,034 -There's a skit. 96 00:15:31,103 --> 00:15:33,310 Let's shoot. 97 00:15:33,379 --> 00:15:36,517 So we need to start massaging the scalp. 98 00:15:44,482 --> 00:15:46,724 -Sorry, sorry, sorry. 99 00:15:46,793 --> 00:15:48,379 Rick, if you wanna back out, that's fine. 100 00:15:59,206 --> 00:16:01,724 -Does that hurt? 101 00:16:01,793 --> 00:16:03,517 That's it. 102 00:16:03,586 --> 00:16:06,241 We gotta get Kosick a nice toupee. 103 00:16:07,965 --> 00:16:09,965 -Is this right? -Perfect. 104 00:16:10,034 --> 00:16:11,241 It doesn't feel like it fits. 105 00:16:11,310 --> 00:16:13,000 -It fits perfect. 106 00:16:19,448 --> 00:16:21,034 Oh, excuse me. 107 00:17:01,586 --> 00:17:04,482 Today, Jack Pollock and I are doing the bloody carpet. 108 00:17:04,551 --> 00:17:07,413 We have a bloody mess here, and we're gonna have 109 00:17:07,482 --> 00:17:10,137 a carpet cleaner come over and see if he'll 110 00:17:10,206 --> 00:17:11,413 clean it up for us. 111 00:17:11,482 --> 00:17:12,965 Yeah, come on in. 112 00:17:13,034 --> 00:17:16,068 Uh, yeah, we've got this big spot over here, 113 00:17:16,137 --> 00:17:18,068 I don't know if it's gonna come out or what. 114 00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:19,586 What is it? 115 00:17:19,655 --> 00:17:21,551 Uh, my roommate Stiv, his dog, I think, 116 00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:23,275 is in heat or something. 117 00:17:28,103 --> 00:17:29,551 You'll be able to get it out, won't you? 118 00:17:31,482 --> 00:17:33,034 We can try it, we can try our best, 119 00:17:33,103 --> 00:17:35,172 but honestly, before I even do anything, 120 00:17:35,241 --> 00:17:39,000 I'll have to let you know because... 121 00:17:39,068 --> 00:17:41,068 I'm gonna have the hand. 122 00:17:41,137 --> 00:17:44,379 It looks more real from this side. 123 00:17:44,448 --> 00:17:45,620 Hi. 124 00:17:47,655 --> 00:17:50,103 is this? 125 00:17:50,172 --> 00:17:52,103 Jeff, can I talk to you upstairs? 126 00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,137 -Yeah. -Excuse us. 127 00:18:07,068 --> 00:18:08,724 You know, it's funny. 128 00:18:08,793 --> 00:18:10,517 A couple of days-- couple of days ago, 129 00:18:10,586 --> 00:18:12,206 I was watching the Discovery Channel. 130 00:18:14,689 --> 00:18:18,206 And, you know, this guy kill a lot of people 131 00:18:18,275 --> 00:18:20,000 and they put him in the fridge. 132 00:18:20,068 --> 00:18:21,517 I'm not telling this happened here, 133 00:18:21,586 --> 00:18:23,448 -but I'm just telling you. -Yeah. 134 00:18:23,517 --> 00:18:25,413 -The did I-- -Dude, please. 135 00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:30,241 ! 136 00:18:32,310 --> 00:18:33,965 I got pepper spray, I got pepper spray. 137 00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:38,206 You did it! It's okay. 138 00:18:38,275 --> 00:18:39,655 He's alright, he's alright. 139 00:18:39,724 --> 00:18:41,896 Bro, just go upstairs. 140 00:18:41,965 --> 00:18:45,206 Let's just, uh, just get up and leave. 141 00:18:45,275 --> 00:18:47,241 You know, I gotta-- I gotta call my boss, man. 142 00:18:47,310 --> 00:18:50,310 -You know, the situation... -I know, I know, it's alright. 143 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,482 Let's just get this done, he'll stay up there... 144 00:18:52,551 --> 00:18:54,206 What he mean when he say you did it? 145 00:18:54,275 --> 00:18:55,896 -What was that? -What? 146 00:18:55,965 --> 00:18:57,275 What he mean when he say... 147 00:18:57,344 --> 00:19:00,655 Oh, he means his dog or whatever, you know. 148 00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:02,413 It's his dog. 149 00:19:02,482 --> 00:19:03,758 Jack, what's going on? 150 00:19:03,827 --> 00:19:05,689 -What? -What's going on, Jack? 151 00:19:05,758 --> 00:19:08,068 Nothing, it's alright. 152 00:19:08,137 --> 00:19:10,275 Dude, is that that cleaning guy? 153 00:19:10,344 --> 00:19:12,655 What? Yeah. Quiet, will ya? 154 00:19:15,620 --> 00:19:17,068 You're not taking care of . 155 00:19:17,137 --> 00:19:18,551 -I'm taking care of it. -You're not taking care 156 00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,000 of, shut up! 157 00:19:20,068 --> 00:19:21,758 I don't care whose mess it is, get him out! 158 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:24,137 Or you're next. 159 00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:26,103 -Yeah, okay, sure. -I need to call my boss. 160 00:19:26,172 --> 00:19:28,517 This situation, I need to report it back... 161 00:19:28,586 --> 00:19:30,758 No, no, no, no, no, no. It's okay, man... 162 00:19:30,827 --> 00:19:32,551 Let him go, Jack. Just let him the -- 163 00:19:35,931 --> 00:19:38,000 -I'll help you out. -Hey, listen, 164 00:19:38,068 --> 00:19:40,689 Jackie, this is a-- its okay, I'll leave 165 00:19:40,758 --> 00:19:43,758 the voicemail to you, okay... -It's alright, it's okay. 166 00:19:43,827 --> 00:19:46,172 You don't ha-- no, you don't have to call in. 167 00:19:46,241 --> 00:19:48,758 Come on, why's he still here? 168 00:19:55,344 --> 00:19:58,241 I think it's best if you just go. 169 00:19:58,310 --> 00:20:00,206 Just go ahead, get out. 170 00:20:00,275 --> 00:20:01,551 Get out, man, just go. 171 00:20:01,620 --> 00:20:02,827 Where's the money? 172 00:20:02,896 --> 00:20:05,689 Uh, I'll pay you, uh, right now. 173 00:20:05,758 --> 00:20:07,241 How much is it? 174 00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:09,172 If you know what's good for you, 175 00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:10,724 you'll keep this to yourself! 176 00:20:13,344 --> 00:20:17,344 Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is Dottie Barnett, 177 00:20:17,413 --> 00:20:20,827 and today I am 90 years old. 178 00:20:20,896 --> 00:20:22,413 -You alright? -Yeah. 179 00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:24,448 -Okay. 180 00:20:34,379 --> 00:20:35,689 We have to draw your mustache 181 00:20:35,758 --> 00:20:37,275 if you're gonna sing a song like zis. 182 00:20:37,344 --> 00:20:38,862 I do not need one. 183 00:20:38,931 --> 00:20:41,586 You wanna tell me why you were just jaywalking right here? 184 00:20:41,655 --> 00:20:43,172 -I just jaywalked? -Well, yeah. 185 00:20:43,241 --> 00:20:45,275 I didn't see a pedestrian crossing right there. 186 00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:46,827 I have to cross the street. 187 00:20:46,896 --> 00:20:49,206 Base, base, you in? 188 00:20:49,275 --> 00:20:50,931 Yeah, come in, is this Kowalski? 189 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,137 I got a runner. 190 00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:25,034 If I wasn't dancing in a strip club for money, 191 00:21:25,103 --> 00:21:27,206 I'd be dancing in a strip club for free. 192 00:21:30,068 --> 00:21:34,068 That's the way it'll always be.