1 00:00:20,344 --> 00:00:24,137 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass! 2 00:00:25,827 --> 00:00:27,896 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville from Tennessee. 3 00:00:27,965 --> 00:00:28,965 No, no. 4 00:00:29,034 --> 00:00:30,344 Hi. 5 00:00:30,413 --> 00:00:31,586 I'm Johnny Knoxville. 6 00:00:31,655 --> 00:00:33,068 Welcome to Jackass. 7 00:00:33,137 --> 00:00:34,344 -Let's try that again. 8 00:00:34,413 --> 00:00:36,379 You sound like a bunch of drunk hookers. 9 00:00:36,448 --> 00:00:38,344 Hey, what's up, y'all? I'm Johnny Knoxville. 10 00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,241 Welcome to Jackass. Whoo. 11 00:00:40,310 --> 00:00:42,758 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. You're watching Jack-- 12 00:00:45,137 --> 00:00:47,862 Just rumble. You like that? 13 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:53,758 Yeah. 14 00:00:53,827 --> 00:00:55,172 I'm quitting showbiz. 15 00:00:55,241 --> 00:00:57,517 Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass. 16 00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:25,724 Come wash my back! 17 00:01:30,275 --> 00:01:31,551 That's it. 18 00:01:49,965 --> 00:01:51,241 Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville 19 00:01:51,310 --> 00:01:53,275 and this is Dottie Barnett. 20 00:01:53,344 --> 00:01:56,379 And today I am 90 years old. 21 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,655 Look at her tush, Mama. 22 00:02:01,724 --> 00:02:03,310 No, don't you talk like that. 23 00:02:03,379 --> 00:02:05,344 Look, you have a lovely tush, ma'am. 24 00:02:05,413 --> 00:02:07,344 That's not nice. 25 00:02:07,413 --> 00:02:09,931 Say, I love-- oh. Can I-- do you mind? 26 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,137 What's that? 27 00:02:11,206 --> 00:02:12,793 I just want a couple of French fries. 28 00:02:12,862 --> 00:02:15,655 Don't do that, Irving. That's not right. 29 00:02:15,724 --> 00:02:17,655 -Oy vey. -We'll find a place to sit down. 30 00:02:17,724 --> 00:02:19,551 Oy vey. 31 00:02:19,620 --> 00:02:21,448 That's embarrassing. 32 00:02:27,965 --> 00:02:29,310 -You all right? -Yeah. 33 00:02:29,379 --> 00:02:30,689 Okay, Irving. 34 00:02:36,241 --> 00:02:37,344 -I'm all right. -Okay. 35 00:02:37,413 --> 00:02:38,448 -I'm all right! -All right! 36 00:02:38,517 --> 00:02:39,655 You don't want an ambulance? 37 00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,758 No, no ambulance. Leave me alone. 38 00:02:41,827 --> 00:02:43,275 I just want some soup. 39 00:02:49,379 --> 00:02:51,896 Hi, I'm looking for some sunglasses. 40 00:02:51,965 --> 00:02:55,793 Something very contemporary and handsome. 41 00:02:55,862 --> 00:02:59,034 -Handsome and contemporary. -And-- and-- and-- and snazzy. 42 00:02:59,103 --> 00:03:00,965 -Snazzy? -Yeah. 43 00:03:01,034 --> 00:03:03,482 Uh, are they good in, uh...? 44 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,448 Can I look at them in the sunlights? 45 00:03:05,517 --> 00:03:06,655 Sure. 46 00:03:06,724 --> 00:03:09,206 Has that sign always been there? 47 00:03:09,275 --> 00:03:10,379 The, uh... 48 00:03:12,103 --> 00:03:13,275 Looks good. 49 00:03:15,689 --> 00:03:16,793 Beautiful. 50 00:03:16,862 --> 00:03:18,206 Can I get the sunglasses back, sir? 51 00:03:18,275 --> 00:03:19,827 Oh, yeah, I forgot. 52 00:03:21,551 --> 00:03:23,310 Look how pretty she is, Dorothy. 53 00:03:23,379 --> 00:03:25,413 Look how nice her breasts are. 54 00:03:25,482 --> 00:03:29,000 You know, you're getting to be a dirty old man. 55 00:03:29,068 --> 00:03:31,827 Dorothy, look at that butt. 56 00:03:34,275 --> 00:03:35,896 Nice tush. Nice tush. 57 00:03:39,241 --> 00:03:40,896 Hey there. How are ya? 58 00:03:40,965 --> 00:03:42,862 Could I offer you some weed or pot? 59 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:44,103 Marijuana? 60 00:03:48,551 --> 00:03:51,413 Here comes that son of a bitch Renaldo. 61 00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:54,241 Where were you when I called you the other night? 62 00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:56,827 I don't want to talk to you. I don't-- 63 00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:10,551 Thank you. 64 00:04:16,827 --> 00:04:18,137 He started it. 65 00:04:19,413 --> 00:04:21,965 -He's a bad person. -I know. 66 00:04:22,034 --> 00:04:23,655 He's not a good person. 67 00:04:23,724 --> 00:04:26,448 Never call me again. 68 00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:28,827 I want my $200! 69 00:04:37,241 --> 00:04:39,655 -That sounds like you... -Oh, my God. 70 00:04:39,724 --> 00:04:41,758 What did you have for dinner, ma'am? 71 00:04:44,241 --> 00:04:47,137 So here we are today on location 72 00:04:47,206 --> 00:04:49,931 filming Shaquille O'Neal's new rap video. 73 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,310 This is Wee Man. 74 00:04:51,379 --> 00:04:53,482 That's the way to introduce... 75 00:04:58,206 --> 00:04:59,586 Oh, . 76 00:04:59,655 --> 00:05:00,793 Help me! 77 00:05:00,862 --> 00:05:03,241 -. 78 00:05:08,551 --> 00:05:10,793 The things the Jackassguys do I do every day. 79 00:05:10,862 --> 00:05:12,137 You can see I'm out here wrestling with them. 80 00:05:12,206 --> 00:05:13,344 I haven't been hurt yet. 81 00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:14,965 I am the man of steel. You see this? 82 00:05:19,172 --> 00:05:21,241 What was that? That was piss? 83 00:05:21,310 --> 00:05:23,275 -He pissed in there. -. 84 00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:24,482 Shaq loves Wee Man. 85 00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:38,034 I carry all the weight around this show. 86 00:05:41,068 --> 00:05:42,965 . 87 00:05:47,896 --> 00:05:49,689 The highlights so far have been 88 00:05:49,758 --> 00:05:51,275 some poo diving in the kiddie pool. 89 00:05:56,068 --> 00:05:58,689 -Ahh! Ahh! 90 00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:02,655 Yah-hoo! 91 00:06:02,724 --> 00:06:04,034 A lot of Shaq humping Wee Man. 92 00:06:10,862 --> 00:06:12,241 He deserved it, though. 93 00:06:12,310 --> 00:06:14,448 He's been trying to hump me and wrestle me all day. 94 00:06:14,517 --> 00:06:16,413 These guys are crazy. 95 00:06:21,827 --> 00:06:23,586 Do it! Do it! 96 00:06:33,206 --> 00:06:34,965 Little kids, do not try this at home. 97 00:06:36,448 --> 00:06:39,172 Hi, I'm Steve-O, and this is the cricket helmet. 98 00:06:58,068 --> 00:06:59,586 Today we're gonna be putting crickets 99 00:06:59,655 --> 00:07:01,931 into Steve-O's helmet. 100 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,724 How many crickets are in here? 101 00:07:03,793 --> 00:07:05,137 There's 10,000 crickets in here right now. 102 00:07:05,206 --> 00:07:07,482 Do they carry any communicable diseases? 103 00:07:07,551 --> 00:07:09,551 -No, they don't. -Steve-O does. 104 00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:12,482 Hi, I'm Steve-O, and this is the cricket helmet. 105 00:07:45,827 --> 00:07:47,965 Oh, damn! 106 00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:57,620 Oh, man! 107 00:07:57,689 --> 00:07:59,620 Ahh... 108 00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:02,517 -Oh, God. 109 00:08:03,965 --> 00:08:06,000 -What's wrong with you? -That is so gross. 110 00:08:10,103 --> 00:08:12,586 You gotta-- you gotta-- you gotta do a bridge. 111 00:08:12,655 --> 00:08:14,517 Like move back, move back. No, no, no, no, no! 112 00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:23,241 They just smell so bad. 113 00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:25,620 They taste so bad the way they crunch. 114 00:08:25,689 --> 00:08:27,724 That was a good idea, though, dude. 115 00:10:09,655 --> 00:10:11,413 Preston, you look fat. 116 00:10:21,379 --> 00:10:22,931 Where do you get the balls? 117 00:10:24,172 --> 00:10:26,896 -Over here? -Yeah, it was-- 118 00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:32,000 -damn it. -Oy, yoi, yoi. 119 00:10:36,482 --> 00:10:37,620 Let it go. Oh. 120 00:10:37,689 --> 00:10:40,206 Mom, I want to go right over here. 121 00:10:51,034 --> 00:10:52,241 Damn it. 122 00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:56,896 You stay there. I got it. 123 00:11:00,344 --> 00:11:02,689 Thank you. Thank you. 124 00:11:09,655 --> 00:11:11,241 Dorothy? 125 00:11:11,310 --> 00:11:13,275 -Are you okay? -Dorothy, stand me up. 126 00:11:13,344 --> 00:11:14,655 You want me to get you an ambulance? 127 00:11:14,724 --> 00:11:16,655 No, no ambulance. 128 00:11:16,724 --> 00:11:18,137 You want me to get you something to drink? 129 00:11:18,206 --> 00:11:19,310 No. 130 00:11:23,827 --> 00:11:25,241 Oh, no. 131 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,275 -I'm calling you an ambulance. -No, I just need-- no. 132 00:11:27,344 --> 00:11:29,482 I need some shade. 133 00:11:29,551 --> 00:11:31,206 -You sure? -Just stand me up. 134 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,586 You sure you don't want an ambulance? 135 00:11:34,655 --> 00:11:36,137 Oh, I'm good. 136 00:11:38,827 --> 00:11:39,931 Oh, man. 137 00:11:42,241 --> 00:11:44,172 I'm Steve-O, and this is the double back. 138 00:12:03,206 --> 00:12:06,034 I'm Raab Himself. This is duck hunting. 139 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,068 We killed Quack Quack. 140 00:12:27,758 --> 00:12:29,551 Ohh! Ohh! 141 00:12:31,344 --> 00:12:32,413 No, oh! 142 00:12:38,482 --> 00:12:39,896 It went up his butt. 143 00:12:39,965 --> 00:12:41,758 -Ohh! -Oh, my God. 144 00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:43,586 -Let me see it, let me see it. -Right in the middle. 145 00:12:43,655 --> 00:12:44,758 Oh, my God. 146 00:12:46,758 --> 00:12:49,758 Okay, today I want to go try to pick out a mattress for myself. 147 00:12:49,827 --> 00:12:51,724 But it's kind of a bad time 148 00:12:51,793 --> 00:12:54,275 because I have to urinate really bad. 149 00:12:54,344 --> 00:12:55,862 -How you guys doing? -Good, how are you? 150 00:12:55,931 --> 00:12:57,758 Good. Welcome in. 151 00:12:57,827 --> 00:12:59,620 I like this mattress right here. Can I try it out? 152 00:12:59,689 --> 00:13:01,413 -Help yourself. -Okay. 153 00:13:03,172 --> 00:13:04,344 Everything has tags on them. 154 00:13:04,413 --> 00:13:07,482 It feels really good. It's really comfortable. 155 00:13:07,551 --> 00:13:08,724 Oh, boy. Oh, my... 156 00:13:08,793 --> 00:13:10,724 -Oh, dude. -You all right? 157 00:13:14,517 --> 00:13:15,931 Oh, dude. 158 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,586 I just... I'm sorry. 159 00:13:19,655 --> 00:13:21,586 I have a deviated septum and... 160 00:13:21,655 --> 00:13:23,965 I'm sorry. I understand. 161 00:13:24,034 --> 00:13:25,344 Is there something I can do to help you out? 162 00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,448 No, I'm sorry. It's a medical condition. 163 00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:29,206 -Okay. -I need a towel. 164 00:13:43,379 --> 00:13:44,517 Ugh. 165 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:51,344 You okay, buddy? 166 00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:53,448 I apologize. Is there a trash can? 167 00:13:55,827 --> 00:13:57,103 Okay, thank you for your help. 168 00:13:57,172 --> 00:13:59,000 I hope you're feeling better. 169 00:13:59,068 --> 00:14:00,551 Thanks, man. I'm sorry. 170 00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:01,896 Don't worry about it. 171 00:14:01,965 --> 00:14:04,137 See, the best part about it is that 172 00:14:04,206 --> 00:14:06,413 he squeezed it out and then he shook your hand. 173 00:14:10,551 --> 00:14:12,620 In my left hand I have some pudding. 174 00:14:12,689 --> 00:14:14,551 In my right hand I have a diaper. 175 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:15,862 When combined... 176 00:14:18,517 --> 00:14:19,758 ...I have poo diaper. 177 00:14:35,103 --> 00:14:37,689 I'm Raab Himself, and this is skeet shooting. 178 00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:44,068 Pull. 179 00:14:53,931 --> 00:14:55,275 I got it on my ankle. 180 00:14:55,344 --> 00:14:56,586 Did you see how fast I was running? 181 00:14:56,655 --> 00:14:57,827 I was like a cheetah. 182 00:14:57,896 --> 00:15:00,586 Ow, someone got me in the head. 183 00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:05,310 -damn, that hurt. -Huge welts, it looks like. 184 00:15:06,689 --> 00:15:08,103 That would've hit the bull's-eye. 185 00:15:09,551 --> 00:15:11,068 Scott, what do you think about your work here? 186 00:15:11,137 --> 00:15:12,965 Ah, it's a beautiful piece, nice old-school lettering. 187 00:15:13,034 --> 00:15:14,965 So this is how you make a permanent "jackass" I take it. 188 00:15:15,034 --> 00:15:16,137 Exactly. 189 00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:19,206 I love you. 190 00:15:19,275 --> 00:15:20,448 I love you. Oh. 191 00:15:20,517 --> 00:15:22,586 Oh... mmm... 192 00:15:25,689 --> 00:15:26,965 -Mmm... -Oh... 193 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,172 I love you. 194 00:15:40,137 --> 00:15:42,034 Ooh! 195 00:15:42,103 --> 00:15:44,551 You liked that, didn't you, valley boy? 196 00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:46,137 Yes, you did. 197 00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:48,482 Are you gonna come here anymore? No, you're not. 198 00:15:48,551 --> 00:15:49,689 Fight me... 199 00:15:49,758 --> 00:15:51,482 You like games, huh, valley boy? 200 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:54,172 Give me a Bronson Kane half-pipe, nine o'clock. 201 00:15:54,241 --> 00:15:55,758 Joust. Be there. 202 00:15:55,827 --> 00:15:57,275 No, you be there! 203 00:16:18,241 --> 00:16:21,172 -Whoo! -Whoo! 204 00:16:50,931 --> 00:16:52,724 Just leave it on. Leave it on. 205 00:16:57,172 --> 00:16:58,586 Oh, my God. 206 00:16:58,655 --> 00:17:00,137 This is calisthenics. 207 00:17:00,206 --> 00:17:01,724 Oh, my God. 208 00:17:01,793 --> 00:17:03,275 -Wolf, look at yourself. 209 00:17:03,344 --> 00:17:05,275 For God's sakes. You're embarrassing me. 210 00:17:06,827 --> 00:17:08,068 In my left hand I have some pudding. 211 00:17:08,137 --> 00:17:10,034 In my right hand I have a diaper. 212 00:17:10,103 --> 00:17:11,551 When combined... 213 00:17:14,275 --> 00:17:15,724 ...I have poo diaper. 214 00:17:17,275 --> 00:17:21,344 Hey, you guys got anything to eat left over from lunch? 215 00:17:21,413 --> 00:17:22,896 I didn't get lunch today. 216 00:17:24,758 --> 00:17:26,068 Sorry, man. 217 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,172 I'm hungry. 218 00:17:42,724 --> 00:17:44,172 That's a diaper. 219 00:17:47,241 --> 00:17:48,344 Ugh. 220 00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:11,379 So hungry. 221 00:18:24,482 --> 00:18:26,034 That's-- that's a diaper, homeboy. 222 00:18:29,103 --> 00:18:31,344 Oh, so hungry. 223 00:18:45,379 --> 00:18:47,275 What are you doing with this man? 224 00:18:47,344 --> 00:18:48,862 Come on. 225 00:18:48,931 --> 00:18:50,344 We're just friends. 226 00:18:50,413 --> 00:18:51,965 He's coming home with me. 227 00:18:54,931 --> 00:18:57,482 Renaldo, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 228 00:18:57,551 --> 00:18:59,965 -No. -Ooh, ooh, ooh. 229 00:19:00,034 --> 00:19:02,551 . Irving! Come on. 230 00:19:35,793 --> 00:19:37,551 -Oh, that was great.