1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Created and Encoded by -- Bokutox -- of www.YIFY-TORRENTS.com. The Best 720p/1080p/3d movies with the lowest file size on the internet. Come and say hi to me; World of Warcraft - Terenas (EU) / Outland(PVP) (EU) - Bokutox (name) 2 00:00:23,727 --> 00:00:27,127 You know, you ever heard someone say that old expression, 3 00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:31,827 "Everything happens for a reason"? Well, I don't think that applies to me. 4 00:00:32,527 --> 00:00:34,627 I mean, I spend every morning rushing to work 5 00:00:34,727 --> 00:00:38,527 trying to catch the same subway to the same lousy job. 6 00:00:38,627 --> 00:00:39,927 What's the reason for that? 7 00:00:40,027 --> 00:00:44,427 See, I'm a researcher for one of the biggest publishing houses in Chicago, 8 00:00:44,527 --> 00:00:46,527 but where I really belong is in Creative. 9 00:00:46,527 --> 00:00:51,127 The problem is, is my boss doesn't know it yet, so I'm totally frustrated. 10 00:00:51,227 --> 00:00:53,127 While my friend Paul keeps telling me, 11 00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:56,427 "You gotta be optimistic. You gotta be positive. " 12 00:00:56,527 --> 00:00:58,027 OK. OK. You know what? 13 00:00:58,127 --> 00:01:01,527 Today is gonna be my lucky day. Today is gonna be my... 14 00:01:01,627 --> 00:01:04,827 - Aah! - Oh! Wow! 15 00:01:04,927 --> 00:01:07,927 - Hey, look at that, It's your lucky day, - Did you just see that? 16 00:01:07,927 --> 00:01:08,927 Oh, I've seen it a million times, 17 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:10,427 - You want it? - No, 18 00:01:10,427 --> 00:01:13,027 I don't want it, Go ahead, You got a new briefcase, 19 00:01:13,127 --> 00:01:15,027 Yeah, maybe its got a name on it or something, 20 00:01:15,127 --> 00:01:17,527 - Oh, come... What are you, nuts? - What? 21 00:01:17,627 --> 00:01:19,127 - You're gonna return it? - Yeah, 22 00:01:19,227 --> 00:01:21,427 Did you not just say you needed a new one? 23 00:01:21,527 --> 00:01:22,927 Yeah, when I get my raise, 24 00:01:22,927 --> 00:01:24,927 Haven't you been working there for, like, a year? 25 00:01:25,027 --> 00:01:27,427 I bet Taylor doesn't even know you work there, I'd be pissed, 26 00:01:27,527 --> 00:01:31,727 - Are you pissed? I'd be pissed, - Yeah, I'm-I'm a little pissed, 27 00:01:31,827 --> 00:01:35,127 You know, come to think of it, I've never really seen you angry before, 28 00:01:35,127 --> 00:01:36,727 Henderson, you ever seen Tom really angry? 29 00:01:36,827 --> 00:01:39,427 - No, - All right, fine, So I don't get angry, 30 00:01:39,527 --> 00:01:41,227 What is that, a bad thing? 31 00:01:41,327 --> 00:01:44,927 It's, you know, you keep it bottled up and then sooner or later, 32 00:01:44,927 --> 00:01:48,027 you come into work and you mow everyone down with one of those... 33 00:01:48,127 --> 00:01:51,227 - AK-47, - AK-47, You know, just to impress, uh... 34 00:01:51,327 --> 00:01:53,127 - Jodie Foster, - Jodie Foster, 35 00:01:53,227 --> 00:01:56,427 (chuckles)) All right, I'll do it on your day off, all right? 36 00:01:56,427 --> 00:02:01,027 (Paul) Touché, There she is, It's your Jodie Foster, 37 00:02:01,127 --> 00:02:02,127 Paul, come on, man, 38 00:02:02,227 --> 00:02:03,527 How you ever gonna get to know her if you just sit there? 39 00:02:03,627 --> 00:02:05,527 It's Taylor's daughter, man, I can't just... 40 00:02:05,627 --> 00:02:10,027 You can't just what? Huh? Are you gonna be a loser your whole life? Hmm? 41 00:02:10,127 --> 00:02:13,527 Just go over there and talk to her, Go, Go, 42 00:02:13,527 --> 00:02:16,427 - OK, fine, I'm going, I'm going, - You're going, 43 00:02:34,027 --> 00:02:35,427 Excuse me, 44 00:02:35,527 --> 00:02:37,027 Aah! 45 00:02:37,127 --> 00:02:39,127 (baby crying)) 46 00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:42,527 (mouthing)) 47 00:02:46,527 --> 00:02:48,227 Hi, I'm-- 48 00:02:50,327 --> 00:02:51,527 Ah... 49 00:02:53,127 --> 00:02:55,027 I-- Oh! 50 00:02:56,027 --> 00:02:59,027 Uh... I-- He wa-- 51 00:03:00,227 --> 00:03:01,827 Oh, 52 00:03:05,927 --> 00:03:07,927 (dog growling)) 53 00:03:08,027 --> 00:03:09,027 Oh! Uh... 54 00:03:09,027 --> 00:03:11,527 - What are you doing to my dog? - Ma'am... 55 00:03:11,627 --> 00:03:14,427 - Who's taunting my dog? - No one's taunting your dog, He-- 56 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,227 Oh! Uh... 57 00:03:16,327 --> 00:03:18,427 Um, the-the d-- Um... 58 00:03:19,327 --> 00:03:22,527 Here, why don't you take my seat? Here, 59 00:03:25,027 --> 00:03:26,627 Great, Now, that's great, 60 00:03:26,727 --> 00:03:28,327 Two more minutes, and I'm gonna be closer than you are, 61 00:03:28,327 --> 00:03:30,027 Look, Opening, Go, 62 00:03:30,027 --> 00:03:32,127 Just go, 63 00:03:32,227 --> 00:03:34,427 Go, Go, 64 00:03:35,827 --> 00:03:37,327 It's OK, Go, just go, 65 00:03:40,427 --> 00:03:44,327 (conductor) Lake Street. Lake Street is next. 66 00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:49,627 You're Tom Stansfield, right? From Research? 67 00:03:49,727 --> 00:03:53,627 Yeah, Yeah, Tom, Tom Stansfield, 68 00:03:58,527 --> 00:04:01,927 Stansfield from Research, 69 00:04:05,027 --> 00:04:06,527 It's a growing sport, you know? 70 00:04:06,527 --> 00:04:09,027 Paul, there is no way that she thought that it was a wrestling magazine, 71 00:04:09,127 --> 00:04:11,627 Oh, come on, Get over it, OK? 72 00:04:11,727 --> 00:04:13,927 You're a little embarrassed, It happens, OK? 73 00:04:14,027 --> 00:04:15,627 Let me tell you something, If I had a dime for every time 74 00:04:15,727 --> 00:04:17,527 a gay naked magazine fell out of my... I'm kidding, I'm kidding, 75 00:04:17,627 --> 00:04:18,627 What? Paul! 76 00:04:18,727 --> 00:04:20,427 No, But seriously, so you're a little humiliated, 77 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:23,527 At least now we've established that she knows who you are, right? 78 00:04:23,627 --> 00:04:25,627 - I'm gonna have to leave the company, - No, you're not, 79 00:04:25,627 --> 00:04:26,927 Oh, God, There she is, 80 00:04:27,027 --> 00:04:29,127 Oh, and I need to see the proofs on Thailand immediately, 81 00:04:29,127 --> 00:04:31,327 All right, What else have we got? 82 00:04:36,827 --> 00:04:39,727 - Are you Tom? - Yes, 83 00:04:39,827 --> 00:04:43,927 - Mr, Taylor wants to see you, - Oh... OK, 84 00:04:44,527 --> 00:04:45,527 OK, 85 00:04:45,627 --> 00:04:49,127 OK, you see? This is your chance, This is fate, This is what I'm talking about, 86 00:04:49,227 --> 00:04:52,227 It's about that new opening in Creative and you're the man for the job, 87 00:04:52,327 --> 00:04:54,627 You're gonna go in there and you're gonna pitch him those book ideas, 88 00:04:54,727 --> 00:04:56,527 No, I just... I'm really not ready, 89 00:04:56,627 --> 00:04:58,827 Let's get to business, Now we're steppin' up, OK, 90 00:04:58,927 --> 00:05:00,627 Come on, You're gonna go in there, you're gonna pitch him an inside curve... 91 00:05:00,727 --> 00:05:02,127 Wait, wait, Where is my blue folder? 92 00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:04,327 You don't need it, Enough with the excuses already, Come here, 93 00:05:04,427 --> 00:05:06,927 - You look good, You feel good? - I feel like I'm gonna throw up, 94 00:05:07,027 --> 00:05:08,827 Well, that's good, I want you to use that, OK? 95 00:05:08,927 --> 00:05:11,027 What is this? This dad's? It's nice, Now get in there, OK? 96 00:05:11,127 --> 00:05:13,927 - Don't-don't touch my ass, - What? It was a light spank, It was light, 97 00:05:17,227 --> 00:05:18,427 - Hey, - Hey, 98 00:05:18,427 --> 00:05:21,027 - Uh, do I just go in there? - Um, no, He's not finished yet, 99 00:05:21,127 --> 00:05:23,427 - but you can have a seat over there, - Oh, OK, 100 00:05:23,527 --> 00:05:26,127 Let me explain something to you, Henderson, 101 00:05:26,227 --> 00:05:31,627 I did not dislike your ideas, I found them loathsome, 102 00:05:33,527 --> 00:05:36,127 I hated them, 103 00:05:36,227 --> 00:05:38,827 - You're dismissed, - From your office? 104 00:05:38,827 --> 00:05:40,927 Nice try, 105 00:05:44,227 --> 00:05:47,727 - Good luck, You're gonna need it... - He's ready to see you, 106 00:05:47,827 --> 00:05:49,127 You can come in, 107 00:05:49,227 --> 00:05:52,127 You know what? We should have never let up after the Revolution! 108 00:05:52,127 --> 00:05:54,627 Sit down, Sit down, Coffee? 109 00:05:54,627 --> 00:05:58,727 We shouldn't have left you at toehold, We should have driven you to the sea! 110 00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:05,027 Now... what's this I hear about you making threats 111 00:06:05,127 --> 00:06:08,227 to spray this place with an AK-47? 112 00:06:08,227 --> 00:06:10,227 What? 113 00:06:11,227 --> 00:06:16,427 Oh, oh, oh, No, That... I was just making a joke, 114 00:06:16,527 --> 00:06:19,627 Oh, that's funny to you? Killing everyone in this office? 115 00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:26,427 No, No, No, no, no, no, The... Paul said how I never get angry... 116 00:06:26,527 --> 00:06:29,027 And what about you making fun of midgets? 117 00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:30,827 I never made fun of midgets, 118 00:06:30,827 --> 00:06:33,227 You said it'd be fun to date one 119 00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:35,327 because then you could rest your beer on her head, 120 00:06:35,427 --> 00:06:37,627 No, No, I never said anything like that, 121 00:06:37,727 --> 00:06:40,527 Apparently Henderson thinks you did, 122 00:06:40,627 --> 00:06:43,927 Now I've got a good sense of humor, but that's just plain sick, 123 00:06:43,927 --> 00:06:46,727 - But, sir, I didn't say... - Audrey? 124 00:06:48,027 --> 00:06:50,627 - Which file did I ask you for? - Uh, the Platt file? 125 00:06:50,727 --> 00:06:54,027 - John Platt, Not Sam Platt, - I'm sorry, I guess I didn't think that... 126 00:06:54,127 --> 00:06:55,927 That's right, You didn't think, 127 00:06:56,027 --> 00:06:59,027 Now if it's not too much trouble, if you could fetch me the right file... 128 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,327 - OK, - And get Tom and me some doughnuts, 129 00:07:01,427 --> 00:07:02,827 OK, 130 00:07:02,827 --> 00:07:07,527 Now... I'm told you've been trying to schedule a meeting with me 131 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:11,127 about some ideas, What are they? 132 00:07:11,127 --> 00:07:16,127 Oh, uh... yeah, I had-l had some ideas, 133 00:07:18,127 --> 00:07:21,327 - Something wrong with the coffee? - Uh, no, It's fine, 134 00:07:21,427 --> 00:07:23,927 - Why'd you make a face? - What? 135 00:07:23,927 --> 00:07:27,227 Oh, well... It's-it's a little bitter, but... 136 00:07:30,527 --> 00:07:33,727 - Jesus, Audrey, get in here! - Sir, really, it's f... It's not a problem, 137 00:07:33,727 --> 00:07:36,527 - I've burped up stuff better than this, - Sir, it's fine, 138 00:07:36,627 --> 00:07:39,627 - Is something wrong? - Taste Tom's coffee, 139 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:42,127 No, really, It's OK, 140 00:07:43,827 --> 00:07:47,427 - How would you rate that? - Well, it's not that great, 141 00:07:47,427 --> 00:07:53,227 Not that great? I guess so, Tom thinks it's shit, 142 00:07:53,327 --> 00:07:56,427 Audrey, are you retarded? 143 00:07:56,427 --> 00:07:59,727 It's not a rhetorical question, Are you retarded? 144 00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:00,827 No, I'm not retarded, 145 00:08:00,927 --> 00:08:05,327 Because a retarded person can make a cup of coffee, Am I right, Tom? 146 00:08:05,427 --> 00:08:07,727 Oh, I... I don't-I don't really know much 147 00:08:07,827 --> 00:08:10,427 about the limitations of the handicapped, 148 00:08:10,427 --> 00:08:15,727 I know of an employment agency that hires out retarded people for $4 an hour, 149 00:08:15,827 --> 00:08:20,427 So, if making a cup of coffee is too difficult a task for you, Miss Bennett, 150 00:08:20,527 --> 00:08:23,527 perhaps you'd be good enough to let me know, and I'll contact this agency 151 00:08:23,627 --> 00:08:27,127 and give a retarded person a job, 152 00:08:28,727 --> 00:08:30,727 (mouths)) Wow, 153 00:08:32,627 --> 00:08:36,827 - I wasn't too rough on her, was l? - Well, she is new and all, 154 00:08:36,927 --> 00:08:40,227 Maybe I was out of line, But do you understand what I'm dealing with? 155 00:08:40,327 --> 00:08:44,027 I mean, here I am trying to fill a position in Creative, 156 00:08:44,027 --> 00:08:48,827 and I can't seem to find one person responsible enough to earn my trust, 157 00:08:48,827 --> 00:08:52,227 I sometimes wonder if anyone here even knows what they're doing, 158 00:08:52,327 --> 00:08:54,027 I can understand how you could see it that way, sir, but... 159 00:08:54,127 --> 00:08:56,927 So you don't think I was out of line? 160 00:08:58,727 --> 00:09:02,927 Well, if what you're saying is that a company 161 00:09:03,027 --> 00:09:05,927 is only as strong as its weakest link, that makes sense, but... 162 00:09:06,027 --> 00:09:08,227 Exactly, That's exactly right, 163 00:09:08,327 --> 00:09:10,727 A company is only as strong as its weakest link, 164 00:09:10,827 --> 00:09:12,727 - Yeah... - Audrey, get in here! 165 00:09:12,827 --> 00:09:14,727 You were right, Tom, I was too soft on her, 166 00:09:14,827 --> 00:09:16,027 - What? No, - Yeah? 167 00:09:16,027 --> 00:09:18,027 Audrey, after talking it over with Tom here, 168 00:09:18,027 --> 00:09:21,127 I've come to realize that I'm gonna have to let you go, 169 00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,927 - You're firing me?! - I'm sorry, It's just not working out, 170 00:09:24,027 --> 00:09:25,927 - But, sir, I was suggesting... - I take my job very seriously, 171 00:09:26,027 --> 00:09:28,227 A chain is only as strong as its weakest link, 172 00:09:28,327 --> 00:09:31,427 - Right, but there's a whole other side, - Thanks for the support, 173 00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:33,727 Audrey, empty out your desk by the end of the day, 174 00:09:33,727 --> 00:09:35,827 - Fine, - Sir, this... I... 175 00:09:35,927 --> 00:09:37,527 Thanks for straightening me out there, Tom, 176 00:09:37,627 --> 00:09:40,027 Right, right, But I didn't get to say what I wanted to say, 177 00:09:40,027 --> 00:09:44,727 Oh, your ideas, of course, Schedule an appointment with my new secretary, 178 00:09:51,827 --> 00:09:55,127 Tom, Are you OK? 179 00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:58,027 Uh... yeah, sure, 180 00:09:58,127 --> 00:10:00,027 I'm guessing by the way you look he's on another one 181 00:10:00,127 --> 00:10:01,427 of his rampages this morning, 182 00:10:01,427 --> 00:10:03,727 - Definitely, - Damn, 183 00:10:03,727 --> 00:10:05,227 I was hoping to catch him in a good mood, 184 00:10:05,227 --> 00:10:09,427 Yeah, that's, um... that's probably not gonna happen, 185 00:10:09,427 --> 00:10:12,127 I'm supposed to go to this party tonight, but my dad's making me housesit 186 00:10:12,227 --> 00:10:14,227 for his stupid bird while he's away this weekend, 187 00:10:14,327 --> 00:10:16,927 Well, why don't you go in there and tell him you're not gonna do it? 188 00:10:17,027 --> 00:10:18,727 I can't just... 189 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:22,027 You can't just what? I mean, live your own life and have a free weekend? 190 00:10:22,127 --> 00:10:25,027 No, it's not that, 191 00:10:26,427 --> 00:10:29,027 - Wait, it is that, - Yeah, 192 00:10:29,027 --> 00:10:32,827 - I should just go to that party, - Yeah, of course, 193 00:10:33,527 --> 00:10:38,427 Well, um... OK, I'm gonna go back to, uh, work, 194 00:10:38,527 --> 00:10:40,627 OK, sure, 195 00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:44,427 Tom? I know this might seem a little out of place 196 00:10:44,427 --> 00:10:46,427 because we barely even know each other, 197 00:10:46,427 --> 00:10:49,127 But, do you have any plans tonight? 198 00:10:50,627 --> 00:10:51,827 (mouths)) No, no, no, 199 00:10:51,827 --> 00:10:56,327 - Uh... no, I'm-I'm wide open, - We won't be home too late, 200 00:10:56,327 --> 00:10:57,627 Hey, it's no problem, 201 00:10:57,627 --> 00:11:00,727 So the party starts at 7, You could be at my dad's house by 6? 202 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,527 - Sure, - You sure you're cool with this? 203 00:11:02,527 --> 00:11:05,727 - Are you kidding me? - Tom, you're such a sweetheart, 204 00:11:05,827 --> 00:11:09,627 Thank you so much, I'm gonna love you forever for this, 205 00:11:10,827 --> 00:11:14,627 - All right, Yeah, who's the man now? - See? What'd I tell you? 206 00:11:14,627 --> 00:11:18,527 (chuckles)) I'm a lady-killer, 207 00:11:22,327 --> 00:11:24,927 How the hell could he be so excited about housesitting? 208 00:11:25,027 --> 00:11:29,227 He's nice, Daddy, That's how, Most guys wouldn't even offer to do that, 209 00:11:29,327 --> 00:11:31,927 I don't know if I want him around my bird, 210 00:11:31,927 --> 00:11:36,027 Oh, Dad, will you just relax? It's gonna be fine, I promise, OK? 211 00:11:36,127 --> 00:11:39,827 I'll check in as soon as I get there, 8:00, 212 00:11:40,427 --> 00:11:43,227 If I sense anything's wrong, you're coming back here, 213 00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:45,327 OK, OK, 214 00:11:55,227 --> 00:11:58,227 (. light rock) 215 00:12:32,927 --> 00:12:35,127 Very good, Right on time, 216 00:12:35,227 --> 00:12:40,127 Oh, sir, Uh... Hey, is that a bear trap? 217 00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:44,527 Yes, It's to keep the neighbor's kids out of my yard, 218 00:12:51,527 --> 00:12:56,527 Sir, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you... 219 00:12:56,627 --> 00:12:59,227 well... letting tonight happen, 220 00:12:59,227 --> 00:13:04,927 I mean, I know it means a lot to Lisa, and I think you're doing the right thing, 221 00:13:05,627 --> 00:13:07,427 I don't know what you're planning, Stansfield, 222 00:13:07,527 --> 00:13:11,027 but you're attitude is making me very nervous, 223 00:13:12,827 --> 00:13:16,227 - Those socks are clean, right? - Um... 224 00:13:16,327 --> 00:13:21,327 - You hesitated, Put those on, - Are you serious? 225 00:13:31,327 --> 00:13:34,227 If you want to watch TV, the remote's there, 226 00:13:34,327 --> 00:13:37,327 That panel controls the lights, alarm, skylight, etc, 227 00:13:37,427 --> 00:13:39,027 Yeah, I probably won't use any of that stuff, 228 00:13:39,127 --> 00:13:42,327 - You know, since the party starts at 7, - Party? 229 00:13:42,427 --> 00:13:46,127 I made it clear to Lisa you're not to have any guests in here, 230 00:13:46,127 --> 00:13:49,527 You're the only one allowed in the house, 231 00:13:50,327 --> 00:13:55,427 - What? Lisa's not here? - No, Of course not, 232 00:13:56,327 --> 00:13:59,527 Lisa's at the party... 233 00:14:00,627 --> 00:14:03,327 and I'm staying here, 234 00:14:03,427 --> 00:14:07,427 Is this concept too complicated for you, Stansfield? 235 00:14:09,827 --> 00:14:12,727 Don't touch the furniture, 236 00:14:15,927 --> 00:14:18,927 And this is my bird's room, 237 00:14:18,927 --> 00:14:22,327 (chuckles)) He's got his own room? 238 00:14:24,527 --> 00:14:27,027 That's cool, 239 00:14:29,727 --> 00:14:33,227 - (gasps)) - How's my little boy? 240 00:14:33,327 --> 00:14:38,427 - This is OJ, - OJ? Like the murderer? 241 00:14:38,527 --> 00:14:43,527 No, Like the football player, OJ Simpson, 242 00:14:43,527 --> 00:14:46,827 I've set the alarm, When you hear it go off, feed him, 243 00:14:46,827 --> 00:14:50,727 - (mice squeaking)) - Aw, What do I feed these little guys? 244 00:14:50,727 --> 00:14:56,827 They don't get fed, They are the food, His diet varies, but they're his favorites, 245 00:14:56,927 --> 00:14:59,527 Hey, don't you have to shut these doors? 246 00:14:59,527 --> 00:15:03,227 Not anymore, He's been depressed since his mate died, 247 00:15:03,227 --> 00:15:07,327 He won't fly, Just sits in his cage, 248 00:15:10,027 --> 00:15:15,027 Medication, Give him two of these at 1 0:00, 249 00:15:15,127 --> 00:15:17,227 I have to shove these down his throat? 250 00:15:17,327 --> 00:15:20,927 Just one, The other is inserted into his rectum, 251 00:15:21,027 --> 00:15:23,027 Don't worry, It's not too unpleasant for him, 252 00:15:23,027 --> 00:15:28,327 - He doesn't bite, does he? - No, Not unless you taunt him, 253 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:29,827 You're not planning on taunting him, are you, Tom? 254 00:15:29,927 --> 00:15:31,427 - No, - I mean, that'd be really sick, 255 00:15:31,427 --> 00:15:33,827 No, of course not, 256 00:15:35,127 --> 00:15:38,027 And the most important thing, make sure he gets a pint of water, 257 00:15:38,127 --> 00:15:40,427 The medication tends to dry him out and then he can't breathe, 258 00:15:40,527 --> 00:15:42,727 - OK, - Well, I must be off, 259 00:15:42,827 --> 00:15:45,927 - Henderson should be waiting outside, - Henderson? I thought you fired him, 260 00:15:45,927 --> 00:15:48,027 Because his ideas were stupid? Of course not, 261 00:15:48,127 --> 00:15:50,027 He's gonna drive me to the train station, 262 00:15:50,127 --> 00:15:53,727 So, you can leave as soon as Lisa and Hans get back, 263 00:15:53,727 --> 00:15:56,127 - Hans? - Lisa's boyfriend, 264 00:15:57,027 --> 00:16:01,327 So remember, uh... water in the bowl, medication, and... 265 00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:05,527 anything happens to this house while I'm gone, I'll kill you, 266 00:16:07,727 --> 00:16:09,727 (door shuts)) 267 00:16:09,827 --> 00:16:12,227 (Paul over phone)) You're housesitting? You gotta be kidding me. 268 00:16:12,327 --> 00:16:13,427 (Tom)) I know, it sucks, 269 00:16:13,427 --> 00:16:16,427 What are you talking about? Don't you see? This is a test. 270 00:16:16,427 --> 00:16:18,827 You watch Taylor's house, come up with a couple of great ideas 271 00:16:18,927 --> 00:16:20,827 and if everything goes smooth, you get the promotion. 272 00:16:20,927 --> 00:16:23,927 - You think so? - Of course I do. What could be easier? 273 00:16:24,027 --> 00:16:25,827 (crackles)) 274 00:16:25,827 --> 00:16:28,927 (. "Not What I Wanted" by Evan Olson)) 275 00:16:40,427 --> 00:16:43,827 (Lisa giggling)) What are you doing, Hans? Come here. 276 00:16:43,827 --> 00:16:48,427 Baby, you're gonna burn so bad if you don't let me put this on you right now. 277 00:16:52,427 --> 00:16:58,227 Oh, my God. You scared me, Hans. You're insane. Put that down. 278 00:16:59,327 --> 00:17:03,527 Want to put some on me? Put some lotion on me. 279 00:17:10,227 --> 00:17:14,027 - Is Jack around? - Hey... what? Who are you? 280 00:17:14,127 --> 00:17:18,127 It's OK, I'm Red Taylor, I'm Jack's son, I let myself in the back, 281 00:17:18,227 --> 00:17:20,227 - Oh, Hey, Tom Stansfield, - Hey, 282 00:17:20,327 --> 00:17:23,827 Tom, nice to meet you, Am I interrupting something here? 283 00:17:23,927 --> 00:17:29,127 Oh, no, Uh... I was... uh... Oh, your shoes, 284 00:17:29,227 --> 00:17:33,427 Nike, Uh, listen, Tom, can you do me a favor? I lost my TV Guide. 285 00:17:33,527 --> 00:17:37,527 I came over here to see if maybe my dad's got a copy of one, 286 00:17:37,627 --> 00:17:40,127 You haven't seen a copy of the guide laying around, have you? 287 00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:42,927 - My sister in? - No, actually she's out for the evening, 288 00:17:42,927 --> 00:17:46,527 - Bingo, (chuckles)) - Oh, 289 00:17:46,627 --> 00:17:50,327 So, uh, you're here to... 290 00:17:51,227 --> 00:17:53,227 - Housesit, - Oh, 291 00:17:54,127 --> 00:17:58,927 Yeah, it's probably for the best if you don't, uh, tell Lisa that I stopped by, 292 00:17:58,927 --> 00:18:03,127 - Why? Is there a problem? - Well, you know how uptight she is, 293 00:18:03,227 --> 00:18:06,227 - Really? - I'm more the free spirit of the family, 294 00:18:07,227 --> 00:18:12,027 Oh, Oh, boy, See that right there? 295 00:18:12,027 --> 00:18:15,127 - Kirstie Alley? - Yeah, I dated her maid, 296 00:18:16,427 --> 00:18:19,227 - Really? - I boned Kirstie Alley's maid, 297 00:18:19,327 --> 00:18:22,127 And this is while they were making Look Who's Talking , 298 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:24,027 Wow, that's really something, 299 00:18:24,127 --> 00:18:26,927 I'll tell you another thing, You know Michelle Pfeiffer? 300 00:18:27,027 --> 00:18:28,027 Yeah, 301 00:18:28,127 --> 00:18:31,127 I did the deed with Michelle Pfeiffer's cousin, 302 00:18:31,127 --> 00:18:33,227 - Wow, - Right out there in those bushes, 303 00:18:33,227 --> 00:18:35,627 - Right, - Ah, she looked just like Michelle, too, 304 00:18:35,627 --> 00:18:37,727 except she was brunette instead of blond, 305 00:18:37,727 --> 00:18:40,227 and she was kinda short and dumpy, 306 00:18:40,227 --> 00:18:43,827 Well, uh, ya certainly have an interesting life, Fred, 307 00:18:43,927 --> 00:18:46,027 You married, Tom? 308 00:18:46,127 --> 00:18:48,727 - No, I'm single, - No girlfriend? 309 00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:52,727 No, and, no, actually I had a girlfriend, but we, uh, broke up, 310 00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:54,127 - Ah, - Ah, 311 00:18:54,227 --> 00:18:58,327 Listen, I really gotta get back to work, and since you got your TV Guide and... 312 00:18:58,327 --> 00:19:02,827 So, you broke up, huh? That's too bad, 313 00:19:02,927 --> 00:19:04,627 - Was your ex a looker? - Yeah, 314 00:19:04,627 --> 00:19:06,827 Yeah, in my opinion she was, 315 00:19:06,927 --> 00:19:11,327 I bet you you still keep a picture of her in your wallet, 316 00:19:11,427 --> 00:19:14,027 - Yeah, I do, - Can I see it? 317 00:19:14,127 --> 00:19:15,727 - Yeah, I suppose, - OK, 318 00:19:15,827 --> 00:19:18,627 Let me find her in here, There she is, 319 00:19:18,727 --> 00:19:22,627 (laughing)) Oh! Tom, you lucky man! 320 00:19:22,627 --> 00:19:25,927 - Yeah, - Oh, she is a real piece of ass! 321 00:19:26,027 --> 00:19:29,427 Oh, I could knock on that back door all day long! 322 00:19:29,527 --> 00:19:32,027 - Yeah? Sh-she's a pretty girl, - Wow, 323 00:19:32,027 --> 00:19:35,027 She has gotta be wicked in bed, Tell me she's wicked in bed, Tom, 324 00:19:35,127 --> 00:19:37,327 I bet you she banged your johnson raw every single night, 325 00:19:37,327 --> 00:19:39,127 - OK... - ...'cause that is one fine-looking broad, 326 00:19:39,227 --> 00:19:40,827 All right, Hey! Would ya-- 327 00:19:40,927 --> 00:19:44,327 I me-- You're talking about my girlfriend, 328 00:19:44,427 --> 00:19:47,927 - Ex-girlfriend, you said, - Yeah, but still, it's... 329 00:19:47,927 --> 00:19:51,427 Come on, I'm just making conversation, You know, guy-talk, 330 00:19:51,527 --> 00:19:54,127 Look, I just... I don't tell comfortable 331 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:57,927 talking about my intimate relationships with a complete stranger, 332 00:19:58,027 --> 00:20:00,127 Understood, 333 00:20:00,227 --> 00:20:03,527 Well, you know, given how uptight you are talking about sex, 334 00:20:03,527 --> 00:20:05,327 you pretty much answered the question, 335 00:20:05,327 --> 00:20:07,727 I am not uptight! OK? 336 00:20:07,827 --> 00:20:11,027 Just because I don't feel like revealing personal details 337 00:20:11,027 --> 00:20:14,927 about my ex-girlfriend's sexual habits does not make me uptight, 338 00:20:15,027 --> 00:20:17,527 I didn't ask you anything personal, 339 00:20:17,627 --> 00:20:20,527 Well, then, what the hell do you consider personal? 340 00:20:20,627 --> 00:20:24,227 Well, it'd be like, you know, if I asked you how big your rod was, 341 00:20:24,327 --> 00:20:26,927 Then I would be out of line, 1 00%%%, 342 00:20:26,927 --> 00:20:31,627 No, no! That is no worse than asking me if my girlfriend's a nymph, 343 00:20:31,727 --> 00:20:34,427 I just asked you if she dug sex, 344 00:20:34,527 --> 00:20:36,927 Besides, I wouldn't have asked if I'd known she was frigid, 345 00:20:36,927 --> 00:20:39,527 Yeah, well, she is not frigid! 346 00:20:39,627 --> 00:20:41,527 Are you leaving? 347 00:20:41,627 --> 00:20:43,027 Oh, yeah, 348 00:20:43,127 --> 00:20:45,227 And listen, Could you do me a favor? 349 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,827 - It's no big deal, - What? 350 00:20:46,927 --> 00:20:50,527 A business associate of my dad's is gonna come by to pick this up, 351 00:20:50,527 --> 00:20:55,727 - It's frozen steaks, it's a gift, - It's not cold, 352 00:20:57,227 --> 00:21:00,427 Dad says that's the way the guy likes 'em, What are you gonna do? 353 00:21:00,527 --> 00:21:02,327 Will you give it to him? 354 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,527 (doorbell) 355 00:21:04,627 --> 00:21:06,627 Just one second, 356 00:21:07,227 --> 00:21:09,627 (doorbell) 357 00:21:13,327 --> 00:21:14,727 - Audrey, - Tom, 358 00:21:14,727 --> 00:21:16,227 (man)) Let's go! Come on! 359 00:21:16,227 --> 00:21:19,327 Oh, I guess this makes sense, He's got you living with him now? 360 00:21:19,427 --> 00:21:21,727 - Uh, no, I'm just watching his place, - (car horn)) 361 00:21:21,727 --> 00:21:24,527 - He's... Jack's out of town, - He is? 362 00:21:24,627 --> 00:21:27,327 - Yeah, - Aw, shoot! 363 00:21:27,427 --> 00:21:29,827 I came by 'cause I was hoping to get my job back, 364 00:21:29,927 --> 00:21:31,527 You know, the one that you got me canned from 365 00:21:31,627 --> 00:21:33,227 'cause I made a bad cup of coffee? Remember that? 366 00:21:33,327 --> 00:21:34,527 Listen, I'm really sorry about that, 367 00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:36,927 How can you fire someone for making a bad cup of coffee, huh? 368 00:21:37,027 --> 00:21:38,327 I know, That's what I tried to say to him, 369 00:21:38,327 --> 00:21:41,727 I mean, who do you think you are - Juan fucking Valdez? 370 00:21:41,827 --> 00:21:42,027 I might have had a future at that place if you'd just give me half a chance, 371 00:21:45,127 --> 00:21:49,027 - (man)) Let's get a move on, saddlebag! - Oh, my God, That's my idiot boyfriend, 372 00:21:49,127 --> 00:21:53,027 - (car horn)) - Hold your pants, you freakin' psycho! 373 00:21:53,127 --> 00:21:55,527 God, He drives me crazy, 374 00:21:55,627 --> 00:21:58,827 Oh, hey, you know, since you're on the rug, would you mind putting these on? 375 00:21:58,927 --> 00:22:02,927 - They're medical... I got 'em on, too, - Ugh! Licorice, 376 00:22:02,927 --> 00:22:06,327 I hate licorice, I need water or I'm gonna throw up, Ugh! 377 00:22:06,327 --> 00:22:10,327 Thanks to you, I lost my second job inside a month and now I'm flat broke, 378 00:22:10,427 --> 00:22:11,727 You lost another job? 379 00:22:11,827 --> 00:22:14,527 Yeah, I got fired from my waitress job just last Friday, 380 00:22:14,627 --> 00:22:17,327 - Why did they fire you? - Oh, I don't know, 381 00:22:17,327 --> 00:22:19,927 One of the assistant managers caught me making out with a customer, 382 00:22:20,027 --> 00:22:21,627 - Excuse me? - Well, I mean, actually the customer 383 00:22:21,727 --> 00:22:23,127 was my boyfriend, 384 00:22:23,227 --> 00:22:25,627 I mean, he became my boyfriend after the incident anyway, 385 00:22:25,727 --> 00:22:28,527 - You got any beer in here? - Uh... Hey, 386 00:22:28,627 --> 00:22:31,027 - Here we go, - Would you mind putting these on? 387 00:22:31,127 --> 00:22:34,327 It's a house rule, Oh, actually, that's a twist... Aah! 388 00:22:34,327 --> 00:22:39,127 That's the counter, Listen, Jack, is just a real stickler, That'd be great, 389 00:22:39,227 --> 00:22:41,627 No kidding, I found that out this morning, 390 00:22:41,727 --> 00:22:43,327 (man)) I swear I am gonna freak out and I'm gonna come in there... 391 00:22:43,427 --> 00:22:45,427 - Oh, man, Spike's in a real mood, - Uh... 392 00:22:45,527 --> 00:22:46,827 - Don't even... hey, - (doorbell) 393 00:22:46,827 --> 00:22:48,727 - Come on, come on, come on, Shit, - (Spike)) I swear to God, Audrey, 394 00:22:48,727 --> 00:22:51,527 I'll piss on this guy's front steps! Let's go! 395 00:22:51,527 --> 00:22:52,627 - (knocking)) - (doorbell) 396 00:22:52,727 --> 00:22:55,827 If you don't open this door this second, I'm gonna come in there and... 397 00:22:55,927 --> 00:22:56,927 - Hi, - (burps)) 398 00:22:57,027 --> 00:22:58,327 - (clatter) - Don't worry, Nothing broke, 399 00:22:58,327 --> 00:23:02,527 Hey, Baby, come on, What are you doing leaving me in the goddamn car? 400 00:23:02,527 --> 00:23:04,127 Shake that tail, baby, Come on, Let's get a move on, 401 00:23:04,227 --> 00:23:08,027 - Hold your horses, Try acting civilized, - Audrey! 402 00:23:08,027 --> 00:23:09,327 This is Tom, the guy that I was telling you about from the office, 403 00:23:09,427 --> 00:23:11,327 Oh, the coffee dude, 404 00:23:11,427 --> 00:23:14,227 You got some black ass karma headed your way, superfreak, 405 00:23:14,327 --> 00:23:17,227 Oh, we don't need no lecture from you, Mr, High and Mighty, 406 00:23:17,327 --> 00:23:20,527 Hey, shut that sass-trap of yours, little lady, before I bounce you off the wall! 407 00:23:20,627 --> 00:23:24,927 Look, I would appreciate it if you would take this outside, please, 408 00:23:25,027 --> 00:23:29,827 Hey, I'd appreciate it if you'd go and buy yourself a bagel, Jewy, 409 00:23:29,927 --> 00:23:32,627 Jewy? I'm not Jewish, And I don't think that making fun of the... 410 00:23:32,727 --> 00:23:36,027 - Don't pay attention to him, He's nuts, - I'm nuts? 411 00:23:36,027 --> 00:23:38,627 - Who do you think you are? - Look, can we please take this outside? 412 00:23:38,727 --> 00:23:40,127 Oh, come on, 413 00:23:40,227 --> 00:23:42,927 You know what you are? You're a filthy, little tramp, 414 00:23:42,927 --> 00:23:44,427 Me? What about you and that waitress? 415 00:23:44,527 --> 00:23:46,527 - Keep going, - I never touched her ever, 416 00:23:46,627 --> 00:23:48,527 - Swear? - So help me God, 417 00:23:48,627 --> 00:23:50,027 You swear on your mama's life? 418 00:23:50,127 --> 00:23:52,027 Hell, woman, I ain't gonna swear on my mama's life, 419 00:23:52,127 --> 00:23:54,927 - Why not? If you're telling the truth, - I think he's telling the truth, Audrey, 420 00:23:55,027 --> 00:23:56,427 Then why won't you swear on your mama's life? 421 00:23:56,427 --> 00:23:59,127 Well, because I don't feel like I have the right 422 00:23:59,227 --> 00:24:00,727 to gamble with my mama's life, that's why, 423 00:24:00,727 --> 00:24:03,127 Gamble? But apparently you got nothing to worry about 424 00:24:03,227 --> 00:24:04,927 unless you're lying like a hunk of morgue meat, 425 00:24:04,927 --> 00:24:09,427 Hey, I ain't gonna sit here and get called a liar by no skankin' whore! 426 00:24:09,427 --> 00:24:12,727 Who you calling a whore, you shrimp-dick bastard?! 427 00:24:12,827 --> 00:24:13,927 Audrey, see now you're just provoking him, 428 00:24:14,027 --> 00:24:15,427 That's a vicious, flat-out, bold-faced lie and you know it! 429 00:24:15,427 --> 00:24:18,727 - Is it? Is it? I don't think so! - I'll whip it out right now! 430 00:24:18,727 --> 00:24:20,027 - No, no, no, I don't wanna see it, - I'm gonna whip it out right now 431 00:24:20,127 --> 00:24:22,727 and prove to you that she's a lying slut! 432 00:24:22,827 --> 00:24:24,627 - Keep your meat in the fridge! - You wanna see my piece? 433 00:24:24,727 --> 00:24:27,027 - All right, All right! That is enough! - Go get me a ruler, Tom! You go get... 434 00:24:27,127 --> 00:24:30,627 That is it, I don't care if you have a tiny shrimp dick! 435 00:24:32,427 --> 00:24:36,827 - Or a giant whale dick, which that's... - Goddamn it, Audrey! 436 00:24:36,927 --> 00:24:39,827 You tell him you're a liar or I'm gonna smash your face in, I swear! 437 00:24:39,927 --> 00:24:45,027 - Wait a minute! You put that down! - All right, Can we please just use fists? 438 00:24:45,127 --> 00:24:48,027 - Come here, you little... (slap)) - You hit me, you bastard! 439 00:24:48,127 --> 00:24:50,627 - I did not and you know it! - He hit me! 440 00:24:50,727 --> 00:24:52,727 He hit me as sure as I'm standing right here! 441 00:24:52,827 --> 00:24:54,527 - Did you hit her, Spike? - Yes, 442 00:24:54,527 --> 00:24:56,427 With an open hand, It was with an open hand, 443 00:24:56,527 --> 00:24:57,827 - So what if it's open? - You can't... 444 00:24:57,927 --> 00:24:59,327 - Then it don't count, - Says who? 445 00:24:59,427 --> 00:25:02,327 Says anyone, Ask the Jew, 446 00:25:02,427 --> 00:25:04,827 All right, that's it, You two have got to leave, 447 00:25:04,827 --> 00:25:07,427 All right, that's fine, But she is not coming with me, 448 00:25:07,527 --> 00:25:08,827 You are not welcome in the double ride, 449 00:25:08,927 --> 00:25:12,327 Fine, I don't care, I don't need your lousy trailer, I'll stay right here with Tom, 450 00:25:12,327 --> 00:25:14,027 - Fine, Stay with Tom, - I'll stay right here, 451 00:25:14,127 --> 00:25:19,727 Wait a minute, Whoa, Guys, you need to try to work this thing out, 452 00:25:19,827 --> 00:25:23,527 - He hit me! He knocked me on my can! - I know, I know, 453 00:25:23,627 --> 00:25:28,227 Well, but it was with an open hand after all, and... 454 00:25:28,227 --> 00:25:31,827 Relationships have their ups and downs, you guys, 455 00:25:31,927 --> 00:25:33,727 and you don't want to ruin this great... 456 00:25:33,827 --> 00:25:36,827 (yelping)) 457 00:25:38,927 --> 00:25:42,227 Oh, God, The bird, OJ! 458 00:25:44,627 --> 00:25:46,627 Oh, my God, 459 00:25:49,027 --> 00:25:52,627 (continues yelping)) 460 00:25:52,727 --> 00:25:54,827 - (squeals)) - Oh, 461 00:25:56,327 --> 00:26:00,927 You come back here or Tom's gonna kick your butt! So take that! 462 00:26:01,027 --> 00:26:04,027 (revs engine)) Ooh, I'm shaking in my boots, baby! 463 00:26:04,127 --> 00:26:06,527 Look at those two, OJ, 464 00:26:06,627 --> 00:26:09,327 (phone ringing)) 465 00:26:09,427 --> 00:26:14,827 (Spike)) Oh, I ain't running away, dummy! 466 00:26:14,927 --> 00:26:17,127 - Hello? - (Lisa)) Hi, Tom. How are ya? 467 00:26:17,227 --> 00:26:21,027 - Hey, Lisa, I'm great, I'm great, - (squawks)) 468 00:26:21,927 --> 00:26:23,627 - Is that OJ? - Yeah, yeah. 469 00:26:23,727 --> 00:26:27,327 - We just had a little drink of water, - I haven't heard him squawk in years, 470 00:26:27,427 --> 00:26:31,527 Oh, yeah, He's quite the crazy bird, you know, 471 00:26:31,527 --> 00:26:34,027 Yeah. Anyway, Tom, I just wanted you to know 472 00:26:34,127 --> 00:26:37,227 how much I appreciate you helping me out tonight. 473 00:26:37,327 --> 00:26:40,627 But I'd like to crash at a friend's place tonight after the party, 474 00:26:40,627 --> 00:26:43,927 Would you think it was horrible if I asked you to stay the whole night tonight? 475 00:26:43,927 --> 00:26:49,427 Oh, well... I-I don't think your dad would want me staying here, 476 00:26:49,527 --> 00:26:53,327 - Please? - Yeah, I suppose I could stay, 477 00:26:53,427 --> 00:26:55,927 Thanks, Tom. I really appreciate it. See you tomorrow. (hangs up)) 478 00:26:56,027 --> 00:26:59,227 (Audrey)) I ain't afraid of you and Tom sure as hell ain't scared neither! 479 00:26:59,327 --> 00:27:03,327 Butthead! Loser! 480 00:27:04,227 --> 00:27:05,527 (tires screeching)) 481 00:27:05,527 --> 00:27:10,127 Oh, my God, Thank God he's gone, Hey, so is it OK if I stay here tonight? 482 00:27:10,227 --> 00:27:14,027 Oh, man, it's... it's not even my house, 483 00:27:14,027 --> 00:27:16,027 Oh, yeah, 484 00:27:16,127 --> 00:27:18,427 OK, Well, I sure as hell don't want any charity, 485 00:27:18,527 --> 00:27:22,927 I mean, it's not like you owe me anything, so... 486 00:27:23,627 --> 00:27:25,127 And I'm sorry about that whole office thing, 487 00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:26,627 I know that you didn't mean to get me fired, 488 00:27:26,727 --> 00:27:31,627 - Yeah, You didn't deserve to get fired, - Thanks, 489 00:27:31,727 --> 00:27:33,727 OK, 490 00:27:33,827 --> 00:27:37,927 Well, I guess I'll just go try to find a homeless shelter then, 491 00:27:41,427 --> 00:27:43,427 - Wait a second, - Yeah? 492 00:27:43,527 --> 00:27:45,327 (sighs)) God, 493 00:27:45,427 --> 00:27:51,027 - Look, I suppose you can stay, - Really? Oh! Thanks, Tom, 494 00:27:51,127 --> 00:27:53,127 You're the best, Oh, and I'll clean up the kitchen, OK? 495 00:27:53,227 --> 00:27:56,227 - OK, - OK, OK, 496 00:28:09,227 --> 00:28:11,027 - (doorbell) - (knocking)) 497 00:28:11,127 --> 00:28:13,327 (Tom)) Yeah, One second, 498 00:28:13,427 --> 00:28:16,227 - (knocking)) - There's somebody at the door, 499 00:28:17,827 --> 00:28:19,927 Hi, Uh, can I help you? 500 00:28:20,027 --> 00:28:23,227 Vasquez sent me here to pick up a package, 501 00:28:23,227 --> 00:28:26,827 Oh, you're the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, Red told me you might be stopping by, 502 00:28:26,927 --> 00:28:28,627 Uh... Oh, hi, I'm Tom, 503 00:28:28,727 --> 00:28:31,727 What is this, Oprah ? Just give me the goddamn package, 504 00:28:31,827 --> 00:28:35,527 Oh, OK, Yeah, Um... 505 00:28:36,327 --> 00:28:38,827 I think this is it, 506 00:28:38,927 --> 00:28:41,727 If this ain't kosher, I'm gonna break his thumbs, 507 00:28:41,827 --> 00:28:45,727 Oh, well, by law, it should be stamped right on the package there, 508 00:28:47,427 --> 00:28:51,227 - (. classical) - What... 509 00:28:51,327 --> 00:28:53,927 (squawks)) 510 00:28:55,527 --> 00:28:59,327 - Oh, Dinnertime, buddy, - (. classical continues)) 511 00:29:01,727 --> 00:29:07,927 OJ... today's specials include a scrumptious buffet of mice kebabs, 512 00:29:08,027 --> 00:29:11,427 - (squawks)) - (gasps)) Aah! Shit! Ah... crap! 513 00:29:14,727 --> 00:29:16,527 You son of a bitch, 514 00:29:16,527 --> 00:29:18,427 - (squeaks)) - Ha, 515 00:29:20,127 --> 00:29:21,327 (grunts)) 516 00:29:21,427 --> 00:29:24,327 - (chuckles)) I got you now, buddy, - (squealing)) 517 00:29:24,427 --> 00:29:27,527 (gasps)) Aah! 518 00:29:27,627 --> 00:29:30,727 Aah! (groans)) 519 00:29:32,127 --> 00:29:34,427 (squawks)) 520 00:29:34,427 --> 00:29:37,227 - Dude, that was cool, - Oh, my God, 521 00:29:38,127 --> 00:29:41,727 - Tommy, easy on the antiques, - (squawking)) 522 00:29:41,827 --> 00:29:45,527 - Was that an owl? - Yes, OJ got out, How is he flying? 523 00:29:45,627 --> 00:29:48,927 - Well, he is a bird, - He... no, Jack said that he... 524 00:29:49,027 --> 00:29:51,027 Aw, shit! I gotta find him, 525 00:29:51,127 --> 00:29:54,827 Don't worry, He'll probably come back when he's hungry, 526 00:29:54,927 --> 00:29:58,527 No, I have to find him or I'm gonna lose my job! You know what? 527 00:29:58,627 --> 00:30:01,727 This isn't gonna help your chances of getting your job back either, 528 00:30:01,827 --> 00:30:03,227 OK, 529 00:30:03,327 --> 00:30:06,827 - Where the hell is he? - Tom, relax, 530 00:30:06,827 --> 00:30:09,427 - Relax? OJ's loose! - (gasping & screaming)) 531 00:30:09,427 --> 00:30:14,127 - This is no time to relax! - Tom! He's right over here! 532 00:30:14,727 --> 00:30:16,727 - Right there, right there, right there! - OJ! 533 00:30:16,827 --> 00:30:19,027 - Right there! - OJ! 534 00:30:19,127 --> 00:30:23,227 Stop! No, no, Stop, Stop, 535 00:30:23,327 --> 00:30:26,527 OJ, OJ... 536 00:30:26,527 --> 00:30:30,927 Get up, What the hell you doing on my property? Planning to rob me? 537 00:30:31,027 --> 00:30:33,427 No, I-I was just looking for... 538 00:30:33,527 --> 00:30:38,027 Yeah, yeah, I see what you're looking for, You got a thing for young girls, eh? 539 00:30:38,027 --> 00:30:39,227 No, 540 00:30:39,327 --> 00:30:41,827 Then why do you keep eyeing my wife, you perv? 541 00:30:41,827 --> 00:30:44,327 Your... no, I wasn't looking, l... 542 00:30:44,327 --> 00:30:47,327 Arthur, are you gonna be back soon? I need you to spot me, 543 00:30:47,327 --> 00:30:49,127 Just give me a minute, honey, 544 00:30:49,227 --> 00:30:51,627 - Oh... Please don't kill me, - I'm not gonna kill you, OK, 545 00:30:51,627 --> 00:30:55,927 If you let me live, I'll give you my most valued possession, Here, take it, 546 00:30:55,927 --> 00:30:57,427 You know what that is, don't you? 547 00:30:57,527 --> 00:31:00,427 - Evander Holyfield's ear, - What? 548 00:31:00,527 --> 00:31:04,027 The part of the ear that Mike Tyson bit off and spit out, 549 00:31:04,127 --> 00:31:06,127 - But it's white, - So? 550 00:31:06,227 --> 00:31:10,927 - So, shouldn't it be black? - Well, if it's still on his head, sure, 551 00:31:11,027 --> 00:31:14,327 But anybody knows that a severed ear loses its color, 552 00:31:14,427 --> 00:31:16,127 - No, - Sheryl? 553 00:31:16,227 --> 00:31:18,327 - Yeah? - What happens to an ear 554 00:31:18,427 --> 00:31:22,627 - if it's severed from your head? - It changes color, Duh, 555 00:31:22,727 --> 00:31:25,527 - (thud) - (Sheryl) Ow! Damn! 556 00:31:25,527 --> 00:31:27,827 - (Audrey)) Tina, give me a beer, - (man laughs)) 557 00:31:27,927 --> 00:31:29,827 - (Tina)) Oops, - (man)) You have got to be kidding me, 558 00:31:29,827 --> 00:31:32,427 - (Audrey)) Try another one, - (Tina)) Come on, you guys! 559 00:31:32,527 --> 00:31:34,727 - (clatter) - (Tina)) Party! 560 00:31:34,827 --> 00:31:37,827 - Come on, let's go! - Audrey... 561 00:31:37,927 --> 00:31:40,627 - What the hell is going on in here? - Heads up, 562 00:31:40,727 --> 00:31:41,727 Who are these people? 563 00:31:41,827 --> 00:31:44,527 I invited some friends over to help us look for the owl, 564 00:31:44,627 --> 00:31:46,427 And Darryl even fixed the table in the hall, 565 00:31:46,427 --> 00:31:48,327 - Thank you, - He won't even know it was broken, 566 00:31:48,427 --> 00:31:50,627 - (bottle breaks)) - (man)) Air ball, 567 00:31:50,727 --> 00:31:53,627 We'll get that later, Everyone, this is Tom, 568 00:31:53,727 --> 00:31:55,527 - Yo, Tom, - Hi, guys, 569 00:31:55,527 --> 00:31:57,027 You guys, Tom's a real good guy and his nuts are gonna just... 570 00:31:57,027 --> 00:31:59,427 Audrey, could you... 571 00:32:00,927 --> 00:32:05,327 - What? - Listen, I appreciate all your help, 572 00:32:05,427 --> 00:32:08,927 But could you make sure that your friends stay out of the house? 573 00:32:09,027 --> 00:32:12,827 - All of them or just the colored guy? - No, all of them, 574 00:32:13,427 --> 00:32:17,027 Ooh, that's smart, That way the colored guy won't take it personal, 575 00:32:17,127 --> 00:32:20,227 - I have nothing against... Look, - What? 576 00:32:20,327 --> 00:32:21,727 I am responsible for this house 577 00:32:21,827 --> 00:32:24,527 and I can't have all of these people hanging around, 578 00:32:24,627 --> 00:32:28,127 OK, all right, I got it, You guys, let's move it out, 579 00:32:28,227 --> 00:32:30,927 - Aw, I was just getting started, - Good idea, 580 00:32:31,027 --> 00:32:33,327 Thanks, guys, That's great, 581 00:32:33,427 --> 00:32:37,027 - (Tina)) What about the cake? - Don't worry, they're all good people, 582 00:32:37,127 --> 00:32:39,827 They're not gonna steal nothing or drink too much like the lndians, 583 00:32:39,827 --> 00:32:43,527 Look... just make sure they stay outside, 584 00:32:43,627 --> 00:32:46,127 - OK? - OK, 585 00:32:50,327 --> 00:32:52,827 (door opens%shuts)) 586 00:32:52,927 --> 00:32:54,727 - Lisa? - Hi, Tom, 587 00:32:54,827 --> 00:32:57,927 Uh, you're home? Why are you home? 588 00:32:58,027 --> 00:33:01,127 It's not worth going into, I got in a huge fight with Hans, 589 00:33:01,127 --> 00:33:06,527 Oh, So... it's over? 590 00:33:07,527 --> 00:33:09,827 It's my own fault for dating a guy my dad likes, 591 00:33:09,927 --> 00:33:10,927 Really? 592 00:33:10,927 --> 00:33:13,727 Yeah, he's one of his top marketing execs, You know, Harvard Law, 593 00:33:13,827 --> 00:33:17,527 Comes from a good family, top of the tennis letter at the country club, 594 00:33:17,627 --> 00:33:21,527 - Tom, can I talk to you for a second? - Audrey? 595 00:33:21,527 --> 00:33:24,727 Yeah, She came to, uh, talk to your dad, 596 00:33:25,827 --> 00:33:29,627 OK, I'm gonna go in my room, You could stay if you want, 597 00:33:29,627 --> 00:33:31,627 OK, 598 00:33:31,727 --> 00:33:34,427 - Tom? - Audrey, I'll be right there, OK? 599 00:33:34,527 --> 00:33:36,127 OK, 600 00:33:36,227 --> 00:33:40,727 - Or you could go, - You know, maybe we could talk... 601 00:33:42,027 --> 00:33:43,627 ...later, 602 00:33:43,627 --> 00:33:46,927 Here, How about this one? 603 00:33:47,027 --> 00:33:49,527 - What's going on? - We found the owl! 604 00:33:49,627 --> 00:33:52,927 - Where is he? - Uh, well, he got away, 605 00:33:53,027 --> 00:33:55,527 - Where'd he go? - He hopped somewhere in the bushes, 606 00:33:55,627 --> 00:33:57,827 - That's right, - What are you doing? 607 00:33:57,827 --> 00:34:01,227 Getting hamburger meat, That's a good way to lure birds, 608 00:34:01,327 --> 00:34:04,927 - They like hamburger meat? - I don't know, I've never had a bird, 609 00:34:05,027 --> 00:34:07,527 - But most animals respond to meat, - It's a fact, 610 00:34:07,627 --> 00:34:10,427 Wanna help me separate the meat? 611 00:34:11,127 --> 00:34:13,327 Speed, tell Tom about the Kennedy assassination, 612 00:34:13,427 --> 00:34:16,127 This is so cool, Tom, 'cause Speed knows who killed JFK, 613 00:34:16,227 --> 00:34:18,627 No, ask him! Tom, ask him, 614 00:34:18,627 --> 00:34:21,427 - Ask him who killed him, - All right, All right, 615 00:34:21,527 --> 00:34:27,327 - Who killed JFK? - Desi Arnaz, 616 00:34:29,027 --> 00:34:33,627 - Oh, - His life just changed, 617 00:34:33,727 --> 00:34:35,427 (squeaking)) 618 00:34:47,227 --> 00:34:48,327 Oh, 619 00:34:52,927 --> 00:34:56,627 Oh, God, Oh... oh... oh... 620 00:34:57,727 --> 00:35:00,727 - Tom! - (gasps)) Shit, Lisa, 621 00:35:01,927 --> 00:35:04,927 - Uh, what are you doing in here? - This is my closet, 622 00:35:05,027 --> 00:35:09,727 Oh, Oh... uh, I had something in my pants, 623 00:35:10,327 --> 00:35:17,227 Um, I was feeding the mouse to the bird and he, uh, ran down my pants, 624 00:35:17,927 --> 00:35:19,727 - (mice squeaks)) - I'm sorry that, uh... 625 00:35:19,727 --> 00:35:22,227 Oh, look! There it is! That way! The bedroom, 626 00:35:24,427 --> 00:35:26,727 - (Lisa)) Whoa, Watch out! - Aah! (groans)) 627 00:35:26,827 --> 00:35:30,827 - Oh, my gosh, Are you OK? - Yep, Yep, I'm good, 628 00:35:30,927 --> 00:35:32,927 Don't worry, we'll get it later, 629 00:35:34,827 --> 00:35:36,627 Oh, here, Let me help you, 630 00:35:36,727 --> 00:35:40,227 You know, I'm really glad you stayed, I needed a good laugh tonight, 631 00:35:40,327 --> 00:35:43,427 Thanks, Wow, Yeah, could I make a bigger ass out of myself? 632 00:35:43,427 --> 00:35:48,627 - (chuckling)) Do you want some wine? - Uh, no, thanks, 633 00:35:48,627 --> 00:35:49,727 Yeah, sure, 634 00:35:49,827 --> 00:35:51,727 - Cheers, - Cheers, 635 00:35:54,127 --> 00:35:57,127 Oh, my God, Is that signed by Walter Payton? 636 00:35:57,227 --> 00:36:01,327 Yeah, "Sweetness", '85 Bears, Only the greatest team ever to play the game, 637 00:36:01,427 --> 00:36:05,727 Shut up, Walter Payton, Jim McMahon, Mike Singletary, 638 00:36:05,827 --> 00:36:08,027 You know what? You may be the coolest girl ever, 639 00:36:08,127 --> 00:36:10,327 - You like football? - Yeah, I love it, 640 00:36:10,327 --> 00:36:12,327 I didn't know you guys liked football, 641 00:36:12,327 --> 00:36:15,127 Yeah, No, me and Paul watch the game every Sunday, 642 00:36:15,227 --> 00:36:17,127 - Paul, too? - Yeah, 643 00:36:17,127 --> 00:36:20,027 - Oh, - (chuckles)) 644 00:36:20,027 --> 00:36:22,427 Oh, what's that? 645 00:36:22,527 --> 00:36:25,727 Oh, it's nothing, It's just something I used to do, 646 00:36:25,827 --> 00:36:29,727 That is really good, I didn't know you were an artist, 647 00:36:29,827 --> 00:36:33,427 I used to be, but I couldn't get any more of my friends to pose nude for me, 648 00:36:33,527 --> 00:36:37,627 - You wouldn't be interested, would you? - Uh... 649 00:36:37,727 --> 00:36:41,127 You're blushing, I was just joking, 650 00:36:41,227 --> 00:36:45,427 I'm not blushing, I just-l just get red from time to time, 651 00:36:47,027 --> 00:36:48,327 You are so funny, 652 00:36:48,427 --> 00:36:51,827 No, seriously, you should really pursue this, I mean, you're good, 653 00:36:51,927 --> 00:36:55,827 I would, but it doesn't really fit in with my father's plan for me, 654 00:36:55,827 --> 00:36:59,327 Future of Midnight Owl Publishing, 655 00:36:59,327 --> 00:37:02,027 - (mice squeaks)) - Oh, look! There it is, 656 00:37:02,027 --> 00:37:05,127 - He's right there, Through the door, - We'll get him, We'll get him, 657 00:37:05,227 --> 00:37:07,527 - Whoa! Watch out! - (groans)) 658 00:37:07,627 --> 00:37:09,227 - Are you OK? - Your dad's gonna kill me, 659 00:37:09,327 --> 00:37:12,227 No, don't worry about it, It's my brother's, My dad won't care, 660 00:37:12,327 --> 00:37:13,527 Oh, Red, 661 00:37:13,627 --> 00:37:15,627 - Oh, so Dad told you? - About what? 662 00:37:15,727 --> 00:37:18,327 - The restraining order, - How's that? 663 00:37:18,427 --> 00:37:21,727 Yeah, Red's not allowed within 100 yards of me, my dad, or this house, 664 00:37:21,827 --> 00:37:23,827 He... uh, he didn't-he didn't mention that, 665 00:37:23,927 --> 00:37:27,427 Red's a freak, You don't want to be around my dad if he finds out 666 00:37:27,527 --> 00:37:29,927 anyone was in this house, especially Red, 667 00:37:30,027 --> 00:37:31,727 It's like wherever he is, there's trouble, 668 00:37:31,727 --> 00:37:33,927 I mean, one time, he had this big party 'cause Dad was out of town 669 00:37:34,027 --> 00:37:35,327 and my dad came home early... 670 00:37:35,327 --> 00:37:39,527 Hey, uh... you know, since the mouse is gone, what say we, uh, go back inside? 671 00:37:39,627 --> 00:37:41,727 OK, 672 00:37:41,827 --> 00:37:43,727 (grunts)) 673 00:37:43,727 --> 00:37:46,327 (both screaming)) 674 00:37:46,327 --> 00:37:49,427 (. synthesizer) 675 00:38:08,627 --> 00:38:12,227 - It was up for an Oscar? I hated it! - I know! (laughing)) 676 00:38:12,227 --> 00:38:16,527 Oh, I hated that movie! Man, I can't believe you, 677 00:38:16,627 --> 00:38:20,327 You're like... you're so different from how you are at work, 678 00:38:20,427 --> 00:38:24,427 What am I gonna do? Like, walk around with my Walter Payton jersey? 679 00:38:24,527 --> 00:38:28,627 No, no, I get it, It's, like, at work you have to be Lisa Taylor: 680 00:38:28,727 --> 00:38:32,427 the, you know, loyal employee to the family firm, 681 00:38:32,527 --> 00:38:33,927 And I have to be... Tom... 682 00:38:34,027 --> 00:38:38,727 Tom Stansfield: the guy who will do anything for anybody, 683 00:38:40,327 --> 00:38:42,227 Yup, That's me, 684 00:38:44,127 --> 00:38:47,127 I swear, it's like I can just talk to you about anything, 685 00:38:47,127 --> 00:38:49,827 I know, exactly, It's... 686 00:38:49,927 --> 00:38:53,427 - Yeah, this is crazy, - Yeah, it is, 687 00:38:54,627 --> 00:38:59,427 I guess it's because there's no attraction between us, you know? 688 00:38:59,527 --> 00:39:00,527 Yeah, 689 00:39:00,627 --> 00:39:03,427 You know, there's none of that sexual tension, 690 00:39:03,527 --> 00:39:05,127 - Yeah, - It's like I'm with a girlfriend, 691 00:39:05,127 --> 00:39:07,327 - It's great, isn't it? - Yeah, 692 00:39:07,427 --> 00:39:09,627 I mean, maybe we could go to the mall sometime and go shopping, 693 00:39:09,727 --> 00:39:11,827 - That would be fun! Wouldn't it be fun? - Yeah, 694 00:39:11,827 --> 00:39:13,827 Wait, you have to listen to this song, 695 00:39:13,927 --> 00:39:16,027 Come on, I need someone to dance with! 696 00:39:16,127 --> 00:39:18,527 - You don't want to see me dance, - (. "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing') 697 00:39:18,627 --> 00:39:21,927 - Come on, dance with me, - I have no idea what I'm doing, 698 00:39:22,027 --> 00:39:25,727 Come on, Put your hands together, Yeah! Now go underneath, 699 00:39:25,827 --> 00:39:27,827 - What... like this? - Yeah! 700 00:39:27,827 --> 00:39:31,127 - Like that? - Yeah! (squeals)) 701 00:39:31,227 --> 00:39:34,627 Hold on, hold on, Watch, watch, watch, 702 00:39:34,727 --> 00:39:36,327 - (pants rip)) - Oh, 703 00:39:36,327 --> 00:39:39,627 - Yeah! Oh... - I'm trying to do too much, 704 00:39:39,727 --> 00:39:43,027 (laughing)) Oh! Yeah! 705 00:39:43,027 --> 00:39:45,827 - (squealing)) - I'm a dancer, 706 00:39:45,827 --> 00:39:47,127 - Catch me, - Oh... what? 707 00:39:47,127 --> 00:39:49,127 (squeals)) 708 00:39:50,827 --> 00:39:52,527 - I got you! - Whoa! 709 00:39:52,627 --> 00:39:55,227 Whoa... (chuckles)) 710 00:39:55,327 --> 00:39:58,727 OK, I am doomed, 711 00:39:59,727 --> 00:40:01,727 Here, 712 00:40:02,827 --> 00:40:04,527 (. "Better Man" by Martina Sorbara)) 713 00:40:04,627 --> 00:40:06,927 Oh, I love this song, 714 00:40:07,027 --> 00:40:09,927 My friend Jenny does this really wild strip routine 715 00:40:09,927 --> 00:40:15,427 for her boyfriend to this song, It's super sexy, Even you'd appreciate it, 716 00:40:15,527 --> 00:40:20,727 I wish I could be like her, you know? She's so free and everything, 717 00:40:36,527 --> 00:40:38,527 (giggles)) 718 00:41:08,427 --> 00:41:10,927 (giggling)) 719 00:41:14,727 --> 00:41:16,727 So, what do you think? 720 00:41:16,827 --> 00:41:21,827 Ah, it's... it's, uh, very nice, 721 00:41:21,927 --> 00:41:25,427 So if you weren't gay, this would turn you on, right? 722 00:41:26,227 --> 00:41:31,927 - Gay? Who said I was gay? - My father, You mean it's not true? 723 00:41:32,027 --> 00:41:34,927 - No! - No? God, I'm so embarrassed! 724 00:41:35,027 --> 00:41:38,627 - I can't believe you'd let me do this! - I didn't mean to... I mean, um... 725 00:41:38,727 --> 00:41:41,027 Why would your father say that I'm gay? 726 00:41:41,127 --> 00:41:45,727 I don't know, Well, you can't blame him entirely, I mean, you are a little feminine, 727 00:41:45,827 --> 00:41:48,427 - (gasps)) - Don't be hurt, 728 00:41:49,827 --> 00:41:52,027 It's OK, 729 00:41:52,127 --> 00:41:54,827 Hans is a bit of feminine, too, 730 00:41:54,927 --> 00:41:58,527 What exactly did Hans do anyway? 731 00:41:59,427 --> 00:42:02,427 Well, it's not like he did just one thing, 732 00:42:05,527 --> 00:42:07,727 It's more about trust, 733 00:42:07,827 --> 00:42:11,627 Yeah, Trust is... it's important, 734 00:42:12,227 --> 00:42:15,027 Trust is everything, 735 00:42:15,027 --> 00:42:19,827 I don't know, Maybe it's me, It's like I'm just sending out some kind of vibe, 736 00:42:19,827 --> 00:42:22,327 - I can't attract a decent guy, - No, 737 00:42:22,427 --> 00:42:24,527 - What's wrong with me? - Don't even worry about it, 738 00:42:24,627 --> 00:42:27,727 You're gonna find another guy so fast, 739 00:42:28,727 --> 00:42:33,427 I mean, look at you, You're amazing, 740 00:42:34,827 --> 00:42:39,227 - You really think so? - Why do you think I'm here tonight? 741 00:42:40,827 --> 00:42:44,027 Oh, God, Tom, 742 00:42:45,827 --> 00:42:48,927 You didn't know, You thought that... 743 00:42:50,227 --> 00:42:52,627 (door opens)) 744 00:43:00,527 --> 00:43:05,227 Uh... uh... I'm gonna... I'll be right back, 745 00:43:05,227 --> 00:43:09,827 I'm just gonna go and check and see if Audrey needs towels, 746 00:43:09,927 --> 00:43:12,527 Tom, you don't have to lie to me, 747 00:43:12,627 --> 00:43:16,327 If you have to go to the bathroom, go take a crap and come back, 748 00:43:18,427 --> 00:43:20,327 (chuckles)) 749 00:43:22,627 --> 00:43:25,427 (clatter) 750 00:43:27,427 --> 00:43:31,027 What the... hey! What the hell are you doing here, man? 751 00:43:33,927 --> 00:43:34,927 (grunts)) 752 00:43:35,027 --> 00:43:39,227 You try to bone Vasquez out of 20 grand and you ask me what I'm doing? 753 00:43:39,227 --> 00:43:43,427 You think I work for Mrs, Fields? You think my boss likes to bake cookies? 754 00:43:44,227 --> 00:43:47,327 - Whoa! What are you doing? Come on, - You tried to sell me flour, 755 00:43:47,427 --> 00:43:51,327 Flour? I-I don't even know what you're talk... What are you... Come on! 756 00:43:51,427 --> 00:43:53,727 Look, I'm just housesitting for my boss, 757 00:43:53,827 --> 00:43:56,827 - Who's your boss? - Jack Taylor, 758 00:43:56,927 --> 00:44:02,227 Jack Taylor, huh? I did time in Joliet with a Jack Taylor, 759 00:44:02,327 --> 00:44:07,227 Average height, medium hair, horrible case of folliculitis on his ass? 760 00:44:07,327 --> 00:44:10,827 - I wouldn't know about the folliculitis, - I thought you said he was your boss, 761 00:44:10,927 --> 00:44:13,927 - He is, - And you never saw his ass? 762 00:44:14,027 --> 00:44:16,827 - Why would I see my boss's ass? - It stands to reason, 763 00:44:16,927 --> 00:44:20,227 You work for a guy long enough, sooner or later, 764 00:44:20,327 --> 00:44:23,227 you're gonna get a glimpse of his ass, 765 00:44:24,927 --> 00:44:26,927 Listen, I-I don't know what line of work you're in, 766 00:44:27,027 --> 00:44:30,027 but I've never seen my boss's ass, 767 00:44:30,127 --> 00:44:33,027 Hey, man... 768 00:44:33,027 --> 00:44:35,827 Hey! Hey, stop it or I'm gonna call the cops! 769 00:44:35,827 --> 00:44:39,427 And tell them what? Your drug deal went bad? 770 00:44:39,527 --> 00:44:42,027 You rat me out, I'm gonna carve you up like a turkey 771 00:44:42,027 --> 00:44:44,727 and beat your kids with what's left of you, 772 00:44:44,827 --> 00:44:48,127 - I don't have any kids, - I can wait, 773 00:44:48,227 --> 00:44:51,727 (. cell phone ringing "Fur Elise" by Beethoven)) 774 00:44:57,327 --> 00:45:02,327 Excuse me, Hello? Right, OK, 775 00:45:03,727 --> 00:45:06,027 Tommy, let's get clear on something, 776 00:45:06,027 --> 00:45:09,827 In the next 60 minutes, I'm gonna bring Vasquez what he paid for 777 00:45:09,927 --> 00:45:12,627 or your gift-wrapped nuts, 778 00:45:14,727 --> 00:45:16,627 (door shuts)) 779 00:45:19,227 --> 00:45:21,327 - Oh, hi, Tom, What's going on? - Yeah, That's what I wanna know, 780 00:45:21,427 --> 00:45:24,727 What's going on with your dad's gift? See... Do you see that guy? 781 00:45:24,827 --> 00:45:26,327 He was gonna kill me! 782 00:45:26,427 --> 00:45:28,327 Don't you think you're overreacting a little, Tom? 783 00:45:28,427 --> 00:45:33,427 Overreacting? The guy had a knife! I don't think that I am overreacting! 784 00:45:33,427 --> 00:45:35,627 He probably just had the wrong address, 785 00:45:35,727 --> 00:45:39,927 I mean, there's gotta be over a dozen Jack Taylor's in Chicago alone, 786 00:45:40,027 --> 00:45:43,427 I'm gonna go to my dad's bedroom, You tell me if the guy shows up again, 787 00:45:43,427 --> 00:45:45,027 All right, All right, You listen to me, 788 00:45:45,127 --> 00:45:47,327 You're not even supposed to be in this house, 789 00:45:47,427 --> 00:45:48,327 Says who? 790 00:45:48,427 --> 00:45:51,227 I know about the restraining order, Red, 791 00:45:51,227 --> 00:45:55,927 Restraining-shmaining, I mean, that's just a big misunderstanding, 792 00:45:56,027 --> 00:45:57,627 (Audrey)) Tom! It's OJ! 793 00:45:57,727 --> 00:45:59,727 (overlapping chatter) 794 00:46:01,327 --> 00:46:03,727 (Audrey and friends)) Oh... 795 00:46:03,727 --> 00:46:08,427 - Whoa, Hey, Who are you? - I'm here to see Lisa, My name's Hans, 796 00:46:10,627 --> 00:46:12,027 - Is that so shocking? - No, 797 00:46:12,127 --> 00:46:13,727 What, you surprised she'd go out with someone like me? 798 00:46:13,827 --> 00:46:15,027 No, no, It's not... 799 00:46:15,127 --> 00:46:17,627 Give me a break, man, You oughta be ashamed of yourself, 800 00:46:17,727 --> 00:46:20,027 Let me tell you something, There are a lot of girls out there 801 00:46:20,127 --> 00:46:22,427 who can see past the fact that I just happen to be... 802 00:46:22,527 --> 00:46:24,027 a few pounds overweight, 803 00:46:24,127 --> 00:46:26,527 (crying)) You know, inside I'm just like everyone else, 804 00:46:26,627 --> 00:46:29,727 - Let me get you a tissue, - Thank you, 805 00:46:29,727 --> 00:46:31,927 - I'm on the second day of a new diet, - Hey, uh, Hans... 806 00:46:32,027 --> 00:46:33,827 - I gave up chocolate, - I'm really sorry, 807 00:46:33,927 --> 00:46:36,527 I think that, uh, we just got off on the wrong foot, 808 00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:42,027 Oh... uh... It's good to meet you, Hans, I'm Tom, 809 00:46:42,127 --> 00:46:43,327 l, uh... (clears throat) 810 00:46:43,427 --> 00:46:46,127 I'm just a friend of Lisa's, 811 00:46:46,227 --> 00:46:49,327 Oh, great, Well, maybe you can help me, Is she here? Lisa! Lisa! 812 00:46:49,427 --> 00:46:51,027 Whoa, Hans, you know what? 813 00:46:51,127 --> 00:46:54,027 Maybe right now isn't a great time for you to see Lisa, 814 00:46:54,127 --> 00:46:56,227 What say, uh, we get you a drink? 815 00:46:56,327 --> 00:46:59,127 Oh, OK, Yeah, she's probably really upset, 816 00:46:59,227 --> 00:47:03,727 You see, we got in a misunderstanding tonight and, well, she left me, 817 00:47:03,827 --> 00:47:05,927 - Wow, that's unfortunate, - Yeah, 818 00:47:06,027 --> 00:47:07,827 Uh, what happened? 819 00:47:07,827 --> 00:47:12,127 Well, I think seeing me naked from behind like that kind of shocked her, 820 00:47:12,127 --> 00:47:16,127 Oh, So, tonight was the first time, 821 00:47:16,127 --> 00:47:18,927 Yeah, Tonight was the first time, It was awesome, 822 00:47:19,027 --> 00:47:22,127 I mean, I was lying up on the bed like this with one leg straight up in the air, 823 00:47:22,227 --> 00:47:24,127 - I don't think I really need to see... - And I had a handful of ass right here... 824 00:47:24,127 --> 00:47:25,127 - Whoa, - ...and I had a handful of this, 825 00:47:25,227 --> 00:47:28,827 Hans, please, Whoa, God, you're... that's... 826 00:47:29,527 --> 00:47:33,527 - And that's when Lisa walked in, - What? 827 00:47:33,627 --> 00:47:36,327 She caught me in the bed with a blonde, 828 00:47:36,327 --> 00:47:37,827 What? 829 00:47:37,927 --> 00:47:40,627 Aw, come on, man, Tell me you haven't ever wanted to do it with a... 830 00:47:40,727 --> 00:47:43,827 Hans, Hans, No... you cheated on her, 831 00:47:45,527 --> 00:47:48,627 You know something, Tom? You're right, 832 00:47:48,727 --> 00:47:53,527 Aw, I guess that was cheating, And now I've gone and lost everyone, 833 00:47:53,527 --> 00:47:56,127 I should have known from the start it wasn't right, 834 00:47:56,227 --> 00:47:58,727 She kept telling me I reminded her of her dad, 835 00:47:58,727 --> 00:48:01,827 Hans, you gotta realize that this is over, you know? 836 00:48:01,827 --> 00:48:05,427 And you gotta put an end to it, and-and move on, 837 00:48:05,527 --> 00:48:08,927 - And get yourself to a better place, OK? - Yes, 838 00:48:09,027 --> 00:48:13,127 - I think you know what I mean, - Yeah, I do know what you mean, 839 00:48:13,227 --> 00:48:17,327 And I'm ready, I know what I have to do, 840 00:48:21,627 --> 00:48:23,827 Well, I guess this is good-bye, 841 00:48:27,227 --> 00:48:31,327 - (squawking)) - OJ! 842 00:48:31,427 --> 00:48:33,127 (Hans)) Thanks, Tom, 843 00:48:33,227 --> 00:48:35,127 (Tom)) OJ, come back! 844 00:48:35,727 --> 00:48:37,827 (dog barks)) 845 00:48:37,927 --> 00:48:39,927 OJ! 846 00:48:42,027 --> 00:48:43,527 (squawks)) 847 00:48:50,427 --> 00:48:54,027 Hello, You must be Julie's date, Come in, Come in, 848 00:48:54,127 --> 00:48:57,527 Actually I'm just here looking for a bird, 849 00:48:57,627 --> 00:49:01,027 Make yourself at home, Albert, Julie's still getting ready, 850 00:49:01,127 --> 00:49:04,327 - No, actually, uh, my name is Tom, - I'm sorry, I'm hard of hearing, 851 00:49:04,427 --> 00:49:06,927 - Could you speak up, please? - (shouts)) My name is Tom! 852 00:49:06,927 --> 00:49:09,427 I could've sworn Julie said your name was Albert, 853 00:49:09,427 --> 00:49:11,127 No, see, I'm afraid that you're mistaken, 854 00:49:11,227 --> 00:49:15,427 - Is someone here? - Yes, This is Julie's date, Albert, 855 00:49:15,527 --> 00:49:17,127 - Ah! Ah! - This is my nephew, George, 856 00:49:17,227 --> 00:49:21,427 - He's blind and crippled, - Oh, Uh... (shouts)) nice to meet you, 857 00:49:21,527 --> 00:49:22,727 I'm not deaf, 858 00:49:22,827 --> 00:49:27,427 Excuse me, I'll go see what's keeping Julie, She's probably nervous, 859 00:49:27,527 --> 00:49:29,327 So you're Julie's date, huh? 860 00:49:29,427 --> 00:49:32,627 No, I'm just... I just came here, I was looking for an owl, 861 00:49:32,727 --> 00:49:36,627 (laughs)) You don't have to make lame excuses, 862 00:49:36,627 --> 00:49:40,427 Listen, do you know what the advantage is in being a cripple? 863 00:49:40,427 --> 00:49:42,327 No, I can't say that I do, 864 00:49:42,327 --> 00:49:44,627 You don't really care to hear much what I have to say, do you? 865 00:49:44,727 --> 00:49:47,427 No, no, It's not that, I'm... 866 00:49:48,427 --> 00:49:50,427 You know what? Go ahead, I'm listening, 867 00:49:50,527 --> 00:49:52,727 Sit down, Tom, 868 00:49:56,727 --> 00:49:59,227 You know what I gained by becoming a quad? 869 00:49:59,327 --> 00:50:01,327 What, are you shaking your head? I can't see, you know! 870 00:50:01,427 --> 00:50:06,227 I'm sorry, Uh... uh... Tell me what you gained, 871 00:50:06,327 --> 00:50:09,227 I no longer need my Viagra, 872 00:50:10,127 --> 00:50:13,627 Now I can maintain my arousal for hours, 873 00:50:13,727 --> 00:50:16,227 That's-that's great, I guess things have a way 874 00:50:16,327 --> 00:50:18,027 of evening themselves out in the long run, huh? 875 00:50:18,127 --> 00:50:20,527 No, not really, And do you know why? 876 00:50:20,627 --> 00:50:21,927 No, why? 877 00:50:22,027 --> 00:50:24,427 Because I am a blind, quad freak, you moron! 878 00:50:24,527 --> 00:50:26,527 What, you think women dig this?! 879 00:50:26,627 --> 00:50:27,827 - I mean, you think women go... - Well, hello, 880 00:50:27,927 --> 00:50:29,827 ..."l wanna give that mutant freak my number"? 881 00:50:29,927 --> 00:50:33,227 - Ken Morehouse, I'm Julie's dad, - Hey, nice to meet you, 882 00:50:33,327 --> 00:50:36,827 ls, uh, George boring you with his self-pitying tripe? 883 00:50:36,827 --> 00:50:39,227 - Tripe... - No, not at all, 884 00:50:39,227 --> 00:50:42,527 "I'm blind, I'm crippled, Boohoo-hoo," 885 00:50:42,527 --> 00:50:45,627 Leave the room, I wanna talk to Albert alone for a second, 886 00:50:45,727 --> 00:50:48,027 - I can stay if I want, - Leave the room! 887 00:50:48,127 --> 00:50:49,327 - OK, OK, - Get out! 888 00:50:49,427 --> 00:50:51,827 - You don't have to be huffy about it! - Get out now! Get out! 889 00:50:51,827 --> 00:50:55,527 - OK, - Turn it, turn it, turn it, 890 00:50:55,527 --> 00:50:58,527 - Oh, for God's sakes, - (clatter) 891 00:50:58,627 --> 00:51:01,527 - I'm so sorry, - (George)) Who the hell put that there? 892 00:51:01,627 --> 00:51:02,627 - (cat meows)) - (thud) 893 00:51:02,727 --> 00:51:06,127 My daughter's gonna be a few minutes, Have a-Have a seat, Albert, 894 00:51:06,127 --> 00:51:07,827 - Tom, - No, Ken, 895 00:51:07,927 --> 00:51:09,227 - Right, You're Ken, - Yes, 896 00:51:09,327 --> 00:51:12,727 Before you say anything, Albert, I just want you to know that Julie 897 00:51:12,727 --> 00:51:17,327 is really self-conscious about her appearance since the... the accident, 898 00:51:17,427 --> 00:51:18,527 - (door shuts)) - Right... 899 00:51:18,527 --> 00:51:23,027 - Oh, Julie, - Julie, this is Albert, Albert, Julie, 900 00:51:23,127 --> 00:51:26,927 - It's nice to meet you, Albert, - Wow, It's... wow, 901 00:51:26,927 --> 00:51:32,427 It's nice to meet you, too, But, the thing is, is that I'm not Albert, 902 00:51:34,127 --> 00:51:38,227 - That is to say that I'm not your date, - Oh,, 903 00:51:38,227 --> 00:51:41,227 There's been a giant misunderstanding, 904 00:51:41,327 --> 00:51:44,827 - Oh, how could you? - (crying)) I knew this would happen! 905 00:51:44,927 --> 00:51:47,127 No, I'm telling the truth, 906 00:51:47,227 --> 00:51:50,227 Julie wasn't pretty enough for you, Mr, GQ? Is that it? 907 00:51:50,327 --> 00:51:54,827 - No, you don't understand, - Oh, I understand, Fabio, 908 00:51:54,927 --> 00:51:57,727 - You broke that poor girl's heart, - No, no, See, I'm not... 909 00:51:57,827 --> 00:52:01,227 Do you think Julie is an idiot? Do you think she bought your little fairy tale 910 00:52:01,327 --> 00:52:03,927 Mr, I'm Too Sexy for my medical booties? 911 00:52:04,727 --> 00:52:07,327 - Oh, th... - Get the hell out of here, 912 00:52:07,427 --> 00:52:12,027 Or I'll kick your pretty-boy ass to kingdom come, 913 00:52:12,127 --> 00:52:16,027 - Am I interrupting something? - No, it's just that the... 914 00:52:16,127 --> 00:52:20,427 - (squawks)) - (grunts)) 915 00:52:20,527 --> 00:52:23,227 Tom, there's two things that we need to talk about, 916 00:52:23,327 --> 00:52:24,327 What? 917 00:52:24,427 --> 00:52:26,627 First of all, I don't wanna wear these booties anymore, 918 00:52:26,727 --> 00:52:29,627 - No one else is wearing the booties, - Fine, 919 00:52:29,727 --> 00:52:33,527 - What's the other thing? - Tina thinks she's got cancer, 920 00:52:35,427 --> 00:52:37,627 - Do you feel it? - Uh, I'm just... 921 00:52:37,627 --> 00:52:42,027 - What's supposed to be there? I don't... - See, Tina? 922 00:52:42,127 --> 00:52:45,227 Move your hand to the left, Now move it around, 923 00:52:45,327 --> 00:52:47,527 Uh-huh, 924 00:52:47,627 --> 00:52:51,327 - Don't you feel anything? - Yeah, I mean, no, no, 925 00:52:51,327 --> 00:52:53,127 No, it seems to be... Well... 926 00:52:53,227 --> 00:52:55,827 Tina, your breast is no different than mine, OK? 927 00:52:55,827 --> 00:53:00,927 - It is, There's no comparison, - Tom, feel my breast and compare, 928 00:53:01,027 --> 00:53:03,827 Now, do you detect any difference between our breasts? 929 00:53:03,827 --> 00:53:06,927 - Well... You gotta slow down a little, - It sure feels good, 930 00:53:07,027 --> 00:53:09,627 - Well, yours is a... - (door opens)) 931 00:53:09,627 --> 00:53:12,927 - Lisa, this isn't what it looks like, - I believed everything you said, 932 00:53:13,527 --> 00:53:14,427 I'm... 933 00:53:14,527 --> 00:53:16,027 It was all just a bunch of lines, wasn't it? 934 00:53:16,127 --> 00:53:20,227 No, no, Lisa, it was all... I swear to you, I meant every word, 935 00:53:20,327 --> 00:53:21,727 This is... nothing's going on here, 936 00:53:21,827 --> 00:53:24,727 Great, Tom, I'm glad you think I'm a complete idiot, 937 00:53:24,727 --> 00:53:29,627 No, no, I'm telling you, I was just checking these girls for breast cancer, 938 00:53:30,327 --> 00:53:34,927 - You make me sick, - No... Lisa, wait! 939 00:53:35,527 --> 00:53:38,327 - She's never gonna forgive me, - Of course she will, 940 00:53:38,327 --> 00:53:39,527 Is this the first time you cheated on her? 941 00:53:39,627 --> 00:53:42,927 Yeah, No! I... yeah... wait, 942 00:53:43,027 --> 00:53:46,527 I didn't cheat on her, I mean, you were there for God's sakes! 943 00:53:46,627 --> 00:53:48,127 Look, I know that you didn't cheat on her, 944 00:53:48,227 --> 00:53:50,427 - I mean, you were a little grabby, but... - I... 945 00:53:50,427 --> 00:53:52,027 Look, don't you think we should just find the owl 946 00:53:52,127 --> 00:53:53,927 and worry about your little "affair" later? 947 00:53:54,027 --> 00:53:57,027 l... I am get... I'm getting angry and I don't get angry, 948 00:53:57,127 --> 00:53:58,627 - Ugh! - Hey, Speed? 949 00:53:58,727 --> 00:54:00,827 Hey, can I ask you a question? 950 00:54:02,027 --> 00:54:06,527 - What are you... I thought you left, - I did... to get this, 951 00:54:07,227 --> 00:54:10,927 - All right, Why is the fire going? - Cozy, isn't it? 952 00:54:11,027 --> 00:54:15,027 - All right, You put that down, - Make me, 953 00:54:16,227 --> 00:54:18,227 All right, 954 00:54:20,227 --> 00:54:24,327 Hey! Hey! Put the crowbar down! 955 00:54:24,427 --> 00:54:27,927 Or I will blow your ass to fucktown! 956 00:54:39,627 --> 00:54:42,527 That's right, 957 00:54:43,927 --> 00:54:46,927 - Don't you ever threaten me, - But... I got a gun, 958 00:54:49,127 --> 00:54:52,727 - What are you doing? - Well, Tommy, we both have guns, 959 00:54:52,827 --> 00:54:55,527 Only difference is, you don't have the guts to use yours, 960 00:54:55,627 --> 00:55:00,127 Oh, yeah? Well, what makes you so sure? 961 00:55:01,627 --> 00:55:03,727 Oh, I'm sure, 962 00:55:08,327 --> 00:55:10,427 (trickling)) 963 00:55:10,527 --> 00:55:16,827 Oh! Oh... Jesus! What the... What are you, out of your mind? 964 00:55:16,827 --> 00:55:20,627 - (phone ringing)) - Stop that! Are you crazy, man?! 965 00:55:20,727 --> 00:55:22,527 (chimes)) 966 00:55:22,627 --> 00:55:25,427 - Hello? - (Taylor) Stansfield. Anything to report? 967 00:55:25,527 --> 00:55:29,227 Sir! Uh, everything's great, I got... everything's under control, 968 00:55:29,227 --> 00:55:31,227 - Did OJ get enough water? - (TJ)) Whoa! 969 00:55:31,327 --> 00:55:33,627 Uh, OJ... What? Oh, yes, 970 00:55:33,727 --> 00:55:37,427 Uh, Jack, could you hold on? I'm gonna shoot your pecker off, 971 00:55:37,527 --> 00:55:40,127 I don't plan on being away the entire weekend. 972 00:55:40,227 --> 00:55:41,327 - I hate you! I hate you! - It's possible I may be 973 00:55:41,327 --> 00:55:45,627 coming home early, so make sure that everything's in order. 974 00:55:45,627 --> 00:55:46,627 Jesus! 975 00:55:46,727 --> 00:55:48,527 Oh, something I forgot to tell you. 976 00:55:48,627 --> 00:55:51,627 - Sir? - The fishtank. It's a little low. 977 00:55:51,627 --> 00:55:53,627 - I'm taking care of that right now, - Good. 978 00:55:53,727 --> 00:55:56,427 When I get back, I want to talk to you about that position in Creative. 979 00:55:56,527 --> 00:55:58,527 - Aah! - Don't get excited yet. 980 00:55:58,627 --> 00:56:00,527 I didn't say you had the job. We'll discuss it. 981 00:56:00,527 --> 00:56:03,827 Uh, thank you, sir, Uh, great, Bye, 982 00:56:05,727 --> 00:56:08,127 Holy shit! 983 00:56:11,427 --> 00:56:13,827 I just... 984 00:56:15,627 --> 00:56:19,827 Boy, I'm tapped out, You got anything to drink? 985 00:56:19,827 --> 00:56:23,827 In the kitchen, Thanks, 986 00:56:28,327 --> 00:56:29,827 Dammit! 987 00:56:29,827 --> 00:56:35,527 Whoa! What the hay happened in here? Tom, did you have a little accident? 988 00:56:35,627 --> 00:56:39,527 You might wanna try a few Kegels, Kinda tighten it up down there, 989 00:56:39,627 --> 00:56:45,227 - That's it! - I'm doing 'em right now, And release, 990 00:56:45,227 --> 00:56:49,127 Well, when in Rome... 991 00:56:49,227 --> 00:56:53,027 - (trickling)) - . Oh, Canada 992 00:57:02,527 --> 00:57:07,227 "Jack Taylor, Rectacid, Apply liberally to buttocks as needed 993 00:57:07,327 --> 00:57:11,827 to reduce redness and other symptoms of folliculitis," 994 00:57:15,427 --> 00:57:17,627 Son of a bitch, 995 00:57:17,727 --> 00:57:21,927 - Did you piss yourself? - No, I did not piss myself, 996 00:57:21,927 --> 00:57:23,427 - Looks like you did, - Well, I didn't, 997 00:57:23,427 --> 00:57:25,527 It was that maniac downstairs, 998 00:57:25,627 --> 00:57:28,227 We gotta stop him before he tears this house apart, 999 00:57:28,327 --> 00:57:31,427 You know what you gotta do? Give him one of these little babies, 1000 00:57:31,527 --> 00:57:32,727 - What's that? - It's a sleeping pill, 1001 00:57:32,827 --> 00:57:36,627 I got 'em from Speed, Here, So strong, so be careful, 1002 00:57:36,727 --> 00:57:38,727 - It's powerful stuff, - Here, Just one, 1003 00:57:38,827 --> 00:57:42,427 Be careful, 1004 00:57:45,927 --> 00:57:47,927 Hey, Excuse me, 1005 00:57:48,027 --> 00:57:51,627 You know, I just wanted to apologize for pulling that gun on you earlier, 1006 00:57:51,627 --> 00:57:55,127 That was totally out of line, 1007 00:57:55,127 --> 00:57:57,627 Hey, you know, I don't even know your name, 1008 00:57:57,627 --> 00:58:00,927 - I'm TJ, - TJ? That's nice, 1009 00:58:00,927 --> 00:58:06,527 I guess maybe I was out of line by pissing all over everything, 1010 00:58:06,627 --> 00:58:11,227 Man... that was funny, (laughs)) 1011 00:58:11,327 --> 00:58:15,927 Yeah, I've always enjoyed a good prank, What are you drinking there? 1012 00:58:16,027 --> 00:58:18,227 Whiskey, You want some? 1013 00:58:18,327 --> 00:58:19,727 There's plenty of booze around here, that's for sure, 1014 00:58:19,827 --> 00:58:22,427 Yeah, I'll take a shot of bourbon, 1015 00:58:22,527 --> 00:58:25,527 - Oh, my God! Wow! - What? 1016 00:58:25,627 --> 00:58:27,627 Whoa! Look at those two blondes going at... 1017 00:58:27,727 --> 00:58:29,527 - Oh, wait, are there three of them? - Where? 1018 00:58:29,627 --> 00:58:32,527 They're going at it right up there on the second floor, 1019 00:58:32,627 --> 00:58:38,427 - Where are you looking? - Right th... uh... Oh, man, they left, 1020 00:58:38,427 --> 00:58:40,027 (chuckles)) 1021 00:58:40,127 --> 00:58:44,327 Damn, I was all psyched up for some action, 1022 00:58:44,327 --> 00:58:47,627 Lesbians are very special, 1023 00:58:47,727 --> 00:58:51,127 Oh... Hey, I'll drink to that, huh? 1024 00:58:52,327 --> 00:58:55,327 - Cheers, - All right, 1025 00:58:55,427 --> 00:58:57,727 Mmm, 1026 00:58:59,227 --> 00:59:00,527 - (grunts)) - Oh, are you... 1027 00:59:00,527 --> 00:59:03,227 - Whoa, - Here, Why don't I... 1028 00:59:03,327 --> 00:59:07,827 - (glass breaks)) - Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, 1029 00:59:07,927 --> 00:59:09,927 (steps on glass)) 1030 00:59:12,527 --> 00:59:15,527 - Whoa, - (gong)) 1031 00:59:19,427 --> 00:59:23,327 - Audrey? - (babbling)) 1032 00:59:23,427 --> 00:59:26,727 Audrey! 1033 00:59:26,727 --> 00:59:31,127 (gasps)) Oh, my God! He's like a human vibrator, 1034 00:59:31,227 --> 00:59:33,427 What... All right, what is wrong with him? 1035 00:59:33,527 --> 00:59:36,027 - I don't know, Did you slip him the pill? - Yes, 1036 00:59:36,027 --> 00:59:37,027 Then that must be it then, 1037 00:59:37,127 --> 00:59:39,027 You didn't give him the pill with whiskey, did you? 1038 00:59:39,027 --> 00:59:41,027 - Yeah, - Oh, no! 1039 00:59:41,127 --> 00:59:44,727 - You're not supposed to mix the two, - Audrey, you did not tell me that! 1040 00:59:44,827 --> 00:59:47,327 Everyone knows that you're not supposed to mix booze with pills! 1041 00:59:47,427 --> 00:59:50,327 - Come on! - OK, Is he gonna be OK? 1042 00:59:50,427 --> 00:59:53,327 Don't worry, He'll be fine, I used to be a paramedic, 1043 00:59:53,427 --> 00:59:57,227 - Tom? I think I found OJ, - OJ? I don't care about... 1044 00:59:57,327 --> 01:00:00,027 We have a situation here, Audrey, call 911! 1045 01:00:00,127 --> 01:00:02,927 - I'm telling ya, he'll be fine, - Are you sure? 1046 01:00:03,027 --> 01:00:06,327 - He just needs some rest, I'm positive, - OK, You watch TJ, Use this, 1047 01:00:06,427 --> 01:00:09,127 It's not loaded, but he doesn't know that, 1048 01:00:09,227 --> 01:00:10,727 - (doorbell) - Oh, man! 1049 01:00:12,627 --> 01:00:15,427 - Oh, hey, - Julie, 1050 01:00:15,427 --> 01:00:17,727 - From... yeah, - Down the block, That's right, 1051 01:00:17,827 --> 01:00:18,927 You mind if I come in? 1052 01:00:18,927 --> 01:00:20,127 (Audrey)) All right, You grab his ankles... 1053 01:00:20,227 --> 01:00:22,227 Why don't we go to that room over there? 1054 01:00:22,327 --> 01:00:25,927 - (Speed) OK, yeah, I got this end, - (Audrey)) Man, he's heavy, 1055 01:00:25,927 --> 01:00:30,327 Do you mind if I sit down? 1056 01:00:30,327 --> 01:00:34,527 - Uh... yeah, Sure, - Thank you, 1057 01:00:38,327 --> 01:00:41,727 Oh, hey, Sorry to butt in, Hi, I'm Red, 1058 01:00:41,827 --> 01:00:44,127 - Hi, it's nice to meet you, - Nice to meet ya, 1059 01:00:44,227 --> 01:00:47,727 Anyway, I realized you were telling the truth when my real date showed up, 1060 01:00:47,827 --> 01:00:52,327 - Of course he didn't stick around, - Well, that guy is a bum, 1061 01:00:52,427 --> 01:00:54,427 Well, I'm sure that had nothing to do with you, 1062 01:00:54,527 --> 01:00:55,927 No, I know it did, 1063 01:00:55,927 --> 01:00:59,727 I've never had any guys attracted to me, even before the accident, 1064 01:00:59,827 --> 01:01:01,927 Now that cannot be true, 1065 01:01:02,027 --> 01:01:05,427 Well... about six months ago, I was hitchhiking 1066 01:01:05,527 --> 01:01:08,527 and a trucker tried to rape me, but other than that... 1067 01:01:08,627 --> 01:01:12,027 Come on, You're gonna tell me, you never had a real boyfriend? 1068 01:01:12,127 --> 01:01:16,027 Well, once, but I think he just felt sorry for me, 1069 01:01:16,127 --> 01:01:19,327 Oh, well, uh... how long did that last? 1070 01:01:19,427 --> 01:01:23,827 Um... about six years and then one day, he just left, 1071 01:01:23,827 --> 01:01:27,727 - Another woman? - No, He got hit by a bus, 1072 01:01:27,827 --> 01:01:29,427 (Red) Well, see that's not your fault, 1073 01:01:29,427 --> 01:01:31,927 Well, he didn't seem to try very hard to avoid the bus, 1074 01:01:31,927 --> 01:01:34,527 I think he just wanted out of the relationship, 1075 01:01:34,627 --> 01:01:37,227 Julie, why don't you sit in this chair? 1076 01:01:37,227 --> 01:01:39,627 Oh, geez, I'm starting to feel a bit woozy, 1077 01:01:39,727 --> 01:01:41,827 (blood squishes)) 1078 01:01:41,927 --> 01:01:45,127 OK, All right, I have to go find OJ, 1079 01:01:45,227 --> 01:01:49,727 So, Red, if you could watch things for me, that'd be great, 1080 01:01:49,827 --> 01:01:52,927 Got ya, 1081 01:01:56,127 --> 01:01:59,627 Look, I think you're being way too hard on yourself, 1082 01:01:59,727 --> 01:02:03,927 I mean, besides, I bet there've been a lot of guys who've been attracted to you, 1083 01:02:04,027 --> 01:02:06,627 No, he was the only one, 1084 01:02:06,727 --> 01:02:10,427 What about that trucker? I mean, he was obviously attracted to you, 1085 01:02:10,427 --> 01:02:13,427 (sighs)) I think the trucker probably would have raped anyone, 1086 01:02:13,427 --> 01:02:17,227 I doubt that, You were probably pretty special to him, 1087 01:02:17,227 --> 01:02:19,427 (chuckles)) So sweet of you, Red, 1088 01:02:19,527 --> 01:02:22,727 I'm not just jerking your chain either, I mean it, 1089 01:02:22,727 --> 01:02:25,627 - (giggles)) - Yeah, (chuckles)) 1090 01:02:29,227 --> 01:02:34,427 - What are you doing to the lawn? - It's OK, Tom, We just had to bury TJ, 1091 01:02:34,527 --> 01:02:38,227 Bury... what? You mean, he's... 1092 01:02:39,227 --> 01:02:42,327 You said he was gonna be OK! I thought you were a paramedic, 1093 01:02:42,427 --> 01:02:45,827 - Well, I took a course, - You took... you-you guy... 1094 01:02:45,927 --> 01:02:47,827 You can't just bury him, you guys! 1095 01:02:47,927 --> 01:02:49,727 Well, we're not gonna put him in my car, 1096 01:02:49,827 --> 01:02:53,327 - (Audrey)) That's right, - All right, Forget it, I'm calling 91 1 , 1097 01:02:53,427 --> 01:02:56,227 - That's for emergencies, - What do you think this is? 1098 01:02:56,227 --> 01:02:59,427 The guy's dead, In 20 minutes, he's still gonna be dead, 1099 01:02:59,427 --> 01:03:01,927 - There's no sense of urgency here, - (chuckles)) 1100 01:03:01,927 --> 01:03:05,027 No, we have to call the cops and report it! 1101 01:03:05,127 --> 01:03:10,327 - And tell 'em what? - The truth! That there was a... accident, 1102 01:03:10,427 --> 01:03:14,827 - They might not see it that way, - Let's face it, Tom, You did kill him, 1103 01:03:14,827 --> 01:03:18,327 - You gave me the pill, - Hey, I didn't tell you to kill nobody, OK? 1104 01:03:18,327 --> 01:03:20,027 Well, you didn't tell me not to use the whiskey! 1105 01:03:20,127 --> 01:03:23,227 - Well, if you'd listen to me... - You didn't say anything about whiskey! 1106 01:03:23,327 --> 01:03:25,127 - (whistles)) - I would think you would listen to me! 1107 01:03:25,127 --> 01:03:26,627 There's no time for blame games, 1108 01:03:26,727 --> 01:03:29,427 Why don't you spread around some leaves? Make it look good, 1109 01:03:29,527 --> 01:03:32,627 I am not gonna help you conceal a dead body! 1110 01:03:32,627 --> 01:03:35,827 Hey, you know what? Don't you think we should say something? 1111 01:03:35,927 --> 01:03:37,127 - What? - You know what? She's right, 1112 01:03:37,227 --> 01:03:39,927 Some kind of last rites or eulogy or something like that? 1113 01:03:40,027 --> 01:03:42,327 - I'm so screwed, - We should say something, 1114 01:03:42,327 --> 01:03:48,927 Fine, fine, You know what? Say something, Get... just make it quick, 1115 01:03:49,027 --> 01:03:55,027 Lord, this day we lay to rest TJ, who was, uh... 1116 01:03:55,627 --> 01:03:57,627 - I really didn't know him, - I don't know him, 1117 01:03:57,727 --> 01:03:59,527 I mean, Tom, you know him the best, Why don't you say something? 1118 01:03:59,527 --> 01:04:01,027 - Me? - Yeah, 1119 01:04:01,127 --> 01:04:05,627 All I know is that the guy was a violent, sadistic goon that was into lesbians, 1120 01:04:05,727 --> 01:04:08,027 Amen, 1121 01:04:08,127 --> 01:04:11,527 - Tom? - Lisa, 1122 01:04:11,627 --> 01:04:14,327 - I can't believe you're still here, - Listen, please, 1123 01:04:14,427 --> 01:04:15,627 You have to let me explain, 1124 01:04:15,627 --> 01:04:19,427 Look, Tom, Tonight was just a big mistake, That's all there is to it, 1125 01:04:19,527 --> 01:04:26,327 No, you... that... what you saw with the girls, all that was was weird timing, 1126 01:04:26,427 --> 01:04:29,127 Red? What's Red doing here? 1127 01:04:29,227 --> 01:04:33,227 Red? Oh, uh, Red was in the neighborhood 1128 01:04:33,227 --> 01:04:34,727 and he-and he stopped by, 1129 01:04:34,827 --> 01:04:38,027 But, you see, nothing really bad happened tonight, 1130 01:04:38,027 --> 01:04:43,827 - Is he the reason OJ's gone? - No, No, uh... OJ got loose, 1131 01:04:43,827 --> 01:04:46,427 And that's a little problem, But we're gonna find him, 1132 01:04:46,527 --> 01:04:48,927 And we're looking for him, so... 1133 01:04:49,027 --> 01:04:50,427 What's this? 1134 01:04:50,527 --> 01:04:54,527 Oh, uh, Tom killed a guy and we're burying the body, 1135 01:04:54,627 --> 01:04:56,827 - OK, that was bad, - Aah! 1136 01:04:56,927 --> 01:05:00,027 OK, well, now you're overreacting, It's not... 1137 01:05:00,127 --> 01:05:01,727 - Oh! - Aah! 1138 01:05:01,827 --> 01:05:09,727 (all yelling)) 1139 01:05:09,827 --> 01:05:11,527 All right, all right, hey, 1140 01:05:11,627 --> 01:05:17,227 Anybody moves, there's gonna be a big hole where her brain used to be, 1141 01:05:19,427 --> 01:05:22,627 Yeah, Go ahead, shoot, 1142 01:05:23,527 --> 01:05:25,627 Well, what are you waiting for? Come on! 1143 01:05:25,727 --> 01:05:27,027 What are you waiting for?! Waste the bitch! 1144 01:05:27,127 --> 01:05:29,027 - Tom! - No, I don't give a shit! 1145 01:05:29,127 --> 01:05:32,827 - Hey, I'm not joking, asshole, - Yeah? 1146 01:05:32,827 --> 01:05:36,627 Pull the trigger, Come on, Come on! 1147 01:05:38,427 --> 01:05:42,227 I think you're just all talk, 1148 01:05:45,827 --> 01:05:48,727 Looks like we both got guns, 1149 01:05:50,327 --> 01:05:53,227 Who's gonna shoot first this time? 1150 01:05:56,427 --> 01:05:59,027 (chuckles)) 1151 01:05:59,127 --> 01:06:01,327 (groans)) 1152 01:06:01,327 --> 01:06:03,527 (Red) Well, that should do it, 1153 01:06:03,627 --> 01:06:06,627 Tom! You are so brave, 1154 01:06:06,627 --> 01:06:09,927 No, no, It's not even that big of a deal, This gun's not even loaded... 1155 01:06:09,927 --> 01:06:11,127 - (gunshot) - (grunt) 1156 01:06:11,227 --> 01:06:13,127 (man)) What the hell is going on? 1157 01:06:13,227 --> 01:06:16,627 I never should have doubted you, You risked your life for me, 1158 01:06:16,727 --> 01:06:19,527 Audrey found some bullets in the kitchen and I may have reloaded it, 1159 01:06:19,627 --> 01:06:21,627 Yeah, I did, 1160 01:06:21,727 --> 01:06:25,927 Yo, excuse me, Does anyone here know a Jack Taylor? 1161 01:06:25,927 --> 01:06:27,327 Why? 1162 01:06:27,427 --> 01:06:31,227 This dude just called, said if I don't pick him up at the train station in 15 minutes, 1163 01:06:31,227 --> 01:06:34,227 I'm out of a job, What do you suppose that means? 1164 01:06:34,327 --> 01:06:35,427 Oh, my God, 1165 01:06:35,527 --> 01:06:37,527 That's what I thought, 'cause I ain't got no job, 1166 01:06:37,527 --> 01:06:39,427 - He's coming home early, - OK, don't worry about it, 1167 01:06:39,527 --> 01:06:42,627 I'll take care of everything, OK? Trust me, Just don't drive too fast, 1168 01:06:42,627 --> 01:06:44,027 Got it, 1169 01:06:44,027 --> 01:06:46,627 And, um, maybe you should put that away, 1170 01:06:46,727 --> 01:06:50,127 Oh, God, 1171 01:06:50,327 --> 01:06:52,627 (. "Go Home" by Barenaked Ladies)) 1172 01:07:05,127 --> 01:07:07,127 Ooh, 1173 01:07:09,727 --> 01:07:11,427 (squeaks)) 1174 01:07:22,327 --> 01:07:25,127 (sighs)) 1175 01:07:29,027 --> 01:07:32,027 (. whistling)) 1176 01:07:40,727 --> 01:07:44,127 I knew that was you, 1177 01:08:20,627 --> 01:08:22,027 (beer bottles clank) 1178 01:09:09,627 --> 01:09:13,427 (Taylor) As long as we're in Thailand for the meeting on Monday afternoon, 1179 01:09:13,527 --> 01:09:17,727 Yeah, We can pick it up when we refuel in Hawaii, 1180 01:09:18,327 --> 01:09:21,227 Hey, uh, do you wanna stop and, uh, get something to drink, 1181 01:09:21,227 --> 01:09:22,527 go to the bathroom or something? 1182 01:09:22,627 --> 01:09:24,727 We'll take the departmental heads now 1183 01:09:24,827 --> 01:09:28,127 and the Creative team in a couple of weeks, 1184 01:09:28,227 --> 01:09:29,527 (squeaks)) 1185 01:09:37,627 --> 01:09:39,727 That's the agenda up to lunch, then there's lunch... 1186 01:09:39,827 --> 01:09:42,927 (squawking)) 1187 01:09:48,627 --> 01:09:52,427 - OK, And then... - (squawks)) 1188 01:09:52,527 --> 01:09:56,127 - (horns honk) - (tires screech)) 1189 01:09:56,227 --> 01:09:59,527 OK, OK, 1190 01:10:01,027 --> 01:10:03,327 OK, fine, 1191 01:10:07,227 --> 01:10:12,027 - Stansfield, what are you doing? - Nothing, sir, 1192 01:10:12,127 --> 01:10:14,827 Hold on a moment, please, 1193 01:10:14,927 --> 01:10:19,827 Stansfield... why don't you just concentrate on the driving 1194 01:10:19,827 --> 01:10:22,827 and let me get on with making my call, 1195 01:10:22,827 --> 01:10:25,527 - Wait! - What is it now, Stansfield? 1196 01:10:25,627 --> 01:10:30,027 Oh, nothing, sir, Almost home, 1197 01:10:48,227 --> 01:10:52,527 - Hey, How'd this get in there? - Oh, be careful with that, 1198 01:10:52,627 --> 01:10:54,527 I will, Good thing I found it, 1199 01:10:54,527 --> 01:10:57,527 There's several ways to properly dispose of a handgun, 1200 01:10:57,627 --> 01:11:00,127 none of which include putting it in a garbage bag, 1201 01:11:00,127 --> 01:11:03,227 (cop over megaphone)) Freeze! Police! Freeze! 1202 01:11:03,327 --> 01:11:05,227 Let go of the girl and put your hands in the air! 1203 01:11:05,327 --> 01:11:07,127 You're completely surrounded, TJ! 1204 01:11:07,127 --> 01:11:09,727 Put down your weapons and put your hands on you head! 1205 01:11:09,727 --> 01:11:15,127 No, you guys, Wait, He's not TJ, I'm Lisa Taylor, This is my dad's house, 1206 01:11:15,227 --> 01:11:17,127 Ma'am, we've received numerous reports 1207 01:11:17,127 --> 01:11:18,627 from this neighborhood: theft, gunfire... 1208 01:11:18,627 --> 01:11:22,927 All right, Look, I know you probably think we may have killed somebody, 1209 01:11:22,927 --> 01:11:24,727 but Tom didn't know he poisoned the guy, 1210 01:11:24,727 --> 01:11:28,727 and we thought he was dead when we buried him, But he seems OK now, 1211 01:11:28,727 --> 01:11:32,227 His head's just a little bloody from where we hit him with the shovel, 1212 01:11:32,227 --> 01:11:35,327 And I swear when Tom shot the gun off, he didn't think it was loaded 1213 01:11:35,427 --> 01:11:38,827 'cause I put the bullets back in, so if you'll all just step inside, 1214 01:11:38,827 --> 01:11:41,027 you'll see there's nobody dead here, 1215 01:11:41,127 --> 01:11:43,027 He may have had the wind knocked out of him temporarily, 1216 01:11:43,127 --> 01:11:45,627 but with a little first aid, I think he'll be just fine, 1217 01:11:45,727 --> 01:11:48,227 (screaming)) 1218 01:11:48,327 --> 01:11:50,127 (screaming)) 1219 01:11:50,127 --> 01:11:55,427 - (screams)) - (screams)) 1220 01:11:55,427 --> 01:11:57,527 Holy mother of God! 1221 01:11:59,927 --> 01:12:01,327 (Lisa)) Hans! 1222 01:12:01,427 --> 01:12:03,627 Yes, I see, I see, 1223 01:12:03,727 --> 01:12:05,727 - (squeaks)) - OK, fine, 1224 01:12:05,827 --> 01:12:07,027 - (squawking)) - Whoa! 1225 01:12:07,127 --> 01:12:09,627 Could you say that again? You're breaking up! 1226 01:12:09,727 --> 01:12:14,927 One moment, please, OJ! 1227 01:12:15,027 --> 01:12:16,827 (tires screeching)) 1228 01:12:24,227 --> 01:12:29,127 I just can't understand why you would do this, Hans, what were you thinking? 1229 01:12:29,127 --> 01:12:31,527 He'll be fine, He may complain about a sore throat, 1230 01:12:31,627 --> 01:12:34,227 but he's in a lot better shape than this chandelier, 1231 01:12:34,327 --> 01:12:35,727 Well, I'd hate to be here when the owner gets back, 1232 01:12:36,527 --> 01:12:38,627 You can say that again, 1233 01:12:38,727 --> 01:12:40,227 - (man)) Whoa! - (car horn)) 1234 01:12:42,827 --> 01:12:44,227 - Tom! Daddy! - What do we got? 1235 01:12:44,227 --> 01:12:46,427 - What was that? - Watch the glass, OK, everybody? 1236 01:12:46,527 --> 01:12:48,527 - Let's get 'em out of the car, - Oh, my God! Daddy! 1237 01:12:48,627 --> 01:12:50,827 - Everybody, stay back and remain calm, - (Lisa)) Are you all right? 1238 01:12:50,827 --> 01:12:53,127 That's him, That's the one spying on me through the bushes, 1239 01:12:53,227 --> 01:12:55,327 He shot the bullet right through my Julie's bedroom window, 1240 01:12:55,427 --> 01:12:58,527 Here, Tell 'em, Julie, 1241 01:12:59,227 --> 01:13:01,927 You guys, Tom wants the body in here, 1242 01:13:02,027 --> 01:13:04,527 - (TJ)) Take it easy, Put me down, - (gasps)) 1243 01:13:05,827 --> 01:13:09,327 Stansfield, what have you done? 1244 01:13:09,427 --> 01:13:13,027 Lisa, pack your things, You're coming with me to Thailand, 1245 01:13:14,427 --> 01:13:17,527 No! 1246 01:13:19,927 --> 01:13:22,327 Get his ass out of here, 1247 01:13:22,427 --> 01:13:26,427 It's funny you should mention the word "ass", Jack, 1248 01:13:26,427 --> 01:13:29,527 Why don't we start by talking about yours, 1249 01:13:29,527 --> 01:13:30,527 Excuse me? 1250 01:13:30,627 --> 01:13:34,727 Lisa, your father is not who you think he is, 1251 01:13:34,727 --> 01:13:39,527 The whole publishing operation, It's a great cover, 1252 01:13:39,527 --> 01:13:43,527 Now how'd you do it? What'd you do? Did you hollow out the books? 1253 01:13:43,527 --> 01:13:48,027 Oh, and locating the plant in Thailand, It's genius! 1254 01:13:49,327 --> 01:13:53,327 - What are you talking about? - What am l... Jack, 1255 01:13:53,427 --> 01:13:58,127 You know, I-I would've believed you, Jack... until I met this man, 1256 01:13:58,227 --> 01:14:00,427 who seems to know a lot about ya, 1257 01:14:02,327 --> 01:14:07,727 Recognize this? I hear it's very effective in relieving folliculitis, 1258 01:14:07,827 --> 01:14:11,027 I don't have folliculitis, 1259 01:14:11,027 --> 01:14:14,727 He's given me no choice, 1260 01:14:14,727 --> 01:14:16,627 - He's given me no choice! - Tom, what are you doing? 1261 01:14:16,727 --> 01:14:19,427 - This is insane! - Yeah? Take a look at your dad's ass, 1262 01:14:19,427 --> 01:14:21,227 - No! - Then tell me I'm insane, huh? 1263 01:14:21,327 --> 01:14:25,827 - (all) Oh! Ooh! - Huh? Huh? Look at it! 1264 01:14:25,827 --> 01:14:28,427 Look at it! Huh? Huh? 1265 01:14:28,527 --> 01:14:30,427 - Ooh... - What? 1266 01:14:35,227 --> 01:14:37,227 (man)) Oh, that's nasty, 1267 01:14:42,627 --> 01:14:48,127 I told you I don't have folliculitis, you blithering idiot, 1268 01:14:48,227 --> 01:14:53,927 Well, guys, the ointment must have worked, 1269 01:14:54,027 --> 01:14:56,127 Let's go, 1270 01:14:56,227 --> 01:15:00,527 Wait! I have something to show ya, 1271 01:15:02,327 --> 01:15:04,527 (all) Oh! 1272 01:15:04,527 --> 01:15:05,827 (Hans)) What's with this movie and the ass cheeks? 1273 01:15:05,827 --> 01:15:11,127 My real name is Jack Taylor... Jr, Red is my nickname, 1274 01:15:11,227 --> 01:15:15,127 Now you know why, I'm the whole reason that TJ's here, 1275 01:15:15,227 --> 01:15:19,327 Goddamn it, Red, You've been dealing drugs out of my house! 1276 01:15:19,427 --> 01:15:23,427 No, Dad, I swear, I gave this guy a bag of flour, 1277 01:15:23,527 --> 01:15:26,827 I dumped a kilo of the real stuff down the toilet, 1278 01:15:26,927 --> 01:15:29,027 I'm finished dealing for good, 1279 01:15:29,127 --> 01:15:32,227 The lime green toilet with the wooden seat? 1280 01:15:33,027 --> 01:15:35,427 - Yeah, why? - (squawking)) 1281 01:15:35,527 --> 01:15:46,327 (all) Ooh! 1282 01:15:46,327 --> 01:15:48,027 (all) Whoa! 1283 01:15:48,027 --> 01:15:52,827 Wait a second, He's flying, 1284 01:15:52,827 --> 01:15:55,727 He's flying, 1285 01:15:59,627 --> 01:16:01,927 (squawking)) 1286 01:16:03,327 --> 01:16:06,527 (all) Whoa! 1287 01:16:09,527 --> 01:16:10,727 - (OJ squeals)) - (car horn)) 1288 01:16:10,827 --> 01:16:14,327 - (tires screeching)) - (crash)) 1289 01:16:15,327 --> 01:16:21,027 Get him out of my sight, Now, Lisa, let's go, 1290 01:16:23,227 --> 01:16:25,827 That's the one, He got my ear! Evander Holyfield's ear, 1291 01:16:25,927 --> 01:16:28,627 You have to right to remain silent, Anything you say can and... 1292 01:16:28,727 --> 01:16:30,527 Lisa, wait! 1293 01:16:30,627 --> 01:16:33,327 (Arthur) That's Holyfield's ear for God's sake, 1294 01:16:33,427 --> 01:16:36,327 (thunder rolling)) 1295 01:16:53,827 --> 01:16:57,627 - (squawking)) - OJ? 1296 01:16:59,227 --> 01:17:04,527 OJ! Come to Daddy, How's my little boy? 1297 01:17:06,627 --> 01:17:09,827 (squawking)) 1298 01:17:17,827 --> 01:17:24,427 - You're going with him? - What choice do I have? He needs me, 1299 01:17:24,427 --> 01:17:27,127 Are you actually feeling sorry for him? 1300 01:17:27,127 --> 01:17:30,727 He's manipulating you and you are buying it, 1301 01:17:31,627 --> 01:17:35,427 All right, fine, You do what you gotta do, I am gonna bail Tom out of jail, 1302 01:17:35,527 --> 01:17:36,627 With what? Your drug money? 1303 01:17:36,727 --> 01:17:38,727 No, no, no, I stole this out of Dad's safe, 1304 01:17:38,827 --> 01:17:41,827 Look, the important thing is, somebody has gotta help Tom, 1305 01:17:41,927 --> 01:17:45,627 You know that nothing that happened here last night was any of his fault, 1306 01:17:45,627 --> 01:17:50,127 It's funny, The nicest guy in the world's the only one with enough balls 1307 01:17:50,227 --> 01:17:52,527 to stand up to Dad, 1308 01:17:55,827 --> 01:18:00,127 All he wanted to do was to spend some time with you, 1309 01:18:00,127 --> 01:18:02,327 Look what it gets him, 1310 01:18:02,427 --> 01:18:07,227 Classic Dad, I'm not allowed in the house, you're not allowed out of it, 1311 01:18:07,327 --> 01:18:10,727 He doesn't care about us, Only that stupid bird, 1312 01:18:12,127 --> 01:18:15,827 - Hey, Red, can I tell you something? - Sure, 1313 01:18:15,927 --> 01:18:20,427 I know this is gonna sound weird, but ever since I was a little kid... 1314 01:18:22,627 --> 01:18:27,427 I used to always wish that I was that stupid bird, 1315 01:18:28,627 --> 01:18:30,427 Aw, 1316 01:18:30,527 --> 01:18:34,027 (squawks)) 1317 01:18:37,627 --> 01:18:41,127 Look, I think it's about time you talk to Dad, 1318 01:18:41,227 --> 01:18:45,027 At least tell him how you feel, You can do it, 1319 01:18:45,027 --> 01:18:46,427 (grunts)) 1320 01:18:46,527 --> 01:18:49,427 (yells)) 1321 01:18:49,427 --> 01:18:53,127 Don't you see, we have no reason to be afraid of him? 1322 01:18:53,227 --> 01:18:55,327 - Aah! - (screaming)) 1323 01:18:55,427 --> 01:18:57,327 Aah! 1324 01:18:58,627 --> 01:19:06,027 (grunting)) Aah! 1325 01:19:06,027 --> 01:19:07,227 - (yells)) - (thud) 1326 01:19:07,227 --> 01:19:12,027 - Daddy! - Lisa, don't let him do this to you, 1327 01:19:12,127 --> 01:19:16,327 Lisa! Aah! 1328 01:19:36,827 --> 01:19:40,027 - Lisa! - Tom! 1329 01:19:40,127 --> 01:19:43,827 Red bailed me out... and told me you were here and I'm not letting you go, 1330 01:19:43,927 --> 01:19:46,427 - Yeah, but I'm... - No, You're gonna let me finish, 1331 01:19:46,527 --> 01:19:49,927 I went through hell last night and it was my fault 'cause I let people do it to me, 1332 01:19:50,027 --> 01:19:51,727 And now you're gonna make the same mistake, 1333 01:19:51,827 --> 01:19:53,527 - Yeah, but... - This isn't what you want, 1334 01:19:53,627 --> 01:19:56,627 This is what your father wants, And you know what? 1335 01:19:56,727 --> 01:20:02,827 Maybe you and l... never are gonna work, And that hurts, 1336 01:20:02,827 --> 01:20:07,127 But not as much as watching you be controlled by a ruthless tyrant 1337 01:20:07,127 --> 01:20:09,727 that would screw his own mother if he thought it'd help him get ahead... 1338 01:20:09,827 --> 01:20:21,227 Tom! I'm not going, 1339 01:20:21,327 --> 01:20:23,327 She's-she's not going, 1340 01:20:26,527 --> 01:20:30,527 Is this whole concept too complicated for you, Stansfield? 1341 01:20:40,827 --> 01:20:44,927 No, No, 1342 01:20:45,027 --> 01:20:47,627 All right, (chuckles)) 1343 01:20:47,727 --> 01:20:51,027 Wha... I... What made you stay? 1344 01:20:59,127 --> 01:21:01,127 That, 1345 01:21:07,927 --> 01:21:13,927 - How did you guys... - We finally had our long overdue talk, 1346 01:21:14,727 --> 01:21:17,627 Then-then who's taking your place in Thailand? 1347 01:21:17,727 --> 01:21:19,327 - He is, - (gong)) 1348 01:21:19,427 --> 01:21:20,727 - What's this? - (neck cracks)) Ow! 1349 01:21:20,827 --> 01:21:24,027 - I'm kidding, - I don't wanna go, I'm afraid, 1350 01:21:24,127 --> 01:21:27,127 Nonsense, Everyone knows that, uh... 1351 01:21:27,227 --> 01:21:30,527 Asian people are very intimidated by, uh... 1352 01:21:30,627 --> 01:21:32,627 - Tall men? - Canadians? 1353 01:21:32,727 --> 01:21:35,427 - Republicans? - Blacks? 1354 01:21:35,527 --> 01:21:37,327 - Henderson? - Yes, sir, 1355 01:21:37,427 --> 01:21:39,127 I won't have that kind of thinking in this company, 1356 01:21:39,127 --> 01:21:42,027 There's no room for racism here, You're fired, 1357 01:21:42,127 --> 01:21:46,827 Now, Tom, the point that I'm getting to is that with a big part of the team away, 1358 01:21:46,927 --> 01:21:49,727 I'm gonna want you to take over the Creative Department, 1359 01:21:49,727 --> 01:21:52,027 - Me? - No need to be modest, 1360 01:21:52,027 --> 01:21:55,127 I saw those ideas you left in the living room, 1361 01:21:55,227 --> 01:22:00,027 Your theory on the JFK thing, brilliant, And the moon landing, a hoax? 1362 01:22:00,027 --> 01:22:02,127 You're really on to something there, 1363 01:22:02,227 --> 01:22:06,227 That's the kind of thinking that's gonna sell books, 1364 01:22:06,327 --> 01:22:10,227 Uh, thank you, sir, 1365 01:22:10,327 --> 01:22:13,927 Bye, Daddy, Have a safe flight, 1366 01:22:17,427 --> 01:22:21,927 Well, Dad... that's fantastic, You promoted Tom, 1367 01:22:22,027 --> 01:22:25,527 Yeah, well, I figure anyone who's got the guts to piss on my Persian carpet 1368 01:22:25,627 --> 01:22:30,427 has gotta have what it takes, Stansfield! 1369 01:22:30,427 --> 01:22:33,827 (trickling)) 1370 01:22:35,827 --> 01:22:41,127 - What the hell are you doing? - Just trying to get my job back, sir, 1371 01:22:41,227 --> 01:22:43,227 (. "If I Had $ 1000000" by Barenaked Ladies)) 1372 01:22:43,327 --> 01:22:46,027 - (Lisa squeals)) - (chuckles)) 1373 01:22:46,127 --> 01:22:50,127 (Tom)) You know, after everything that happened, after all I went through, 1374 01:22:50,127 --> 01:22:54,127 I guess it was my lucky day. And I'm not the only one. 1375 01:22:54,127 --> 01:22:56,227 Based on Lisa and Red's suggestions, 1376 01:22:56,327 --> 01:22:58,927 Jack restructured the company from top to bottom. 1377 01:22:58,927 --> 01:23:02,627 Even instituting casual Fridays every day. 1378 01:23:02,627 --> 01:23:05,927 And last Friday was Henderson's 27th straight day on the job 1379 01:23:05,927 --> 01:23:07,427 without being fired. 1380 01:23:07,527 --> 01:23:10,527 OJ's back off the drugs and now he only drinks beer. 1381 01:23:10,627 --> 01:23:12,627 (burps)) 1382 01:23:12,627 --> 01:23:15,327 (chuckles)) But he still has an occasional flashback. 1383 01:23:15,427 --> 01:23:17,927 (squawks)) 1384 01:23:18,027 --> 01:23:20,527 Jack begged Audrey to come back, but she got a job 1385 01:23:20,527 --> 01:23:22,527 at, of all places, a coffee shop. 1386 01:23:22,627 --> 01:23:24,927 - Ew! - Ugh! 1387 01:23:26,727 --> 01:23:28,727 - Ew! - Ew! 1388 01:23:28,827 --> 01:23:31,627 This is terrible! 1389 01:23:31,627 --> 01:23:35,327 Hans succeeded in turning around the company's factory in Thailand. 1390 01:23:35,327 --> 01:23:37,827 But apparently he's still struggling to cope with the local customs. 1391 01:23:37,927 --> 01:23:40,327 - Back of bus! - Excuse me? 1392 01:23:40,327 --> 01:23:43,727 - You people belong back of bus, - That's an outrage! 1393 01:23:43,827 --> 01:23:46,727 Man, I'm not gonna let you treat me like that merely because I'm... 1394 01:23:46,727 --> 01:23:49,627 Smoking! Smokers belong back of bus! 1395 01:23:49,727 --> 01:23:52,627 (coughing)) 1396 01:23:52,727 --> 01:23:54,927 As for me, with my new promotion, 1397 01:23:55,027 --> 01:23:58,027 I could at last write books based on my own experiences. 1398 01:23:58,027 --> 01:23:59,527 - So I did. - Thank you, 1399 01:23:59,527 --> 01:24:03,327 And Lisa was finally able to pursue a career that she loved. 1400 01:24:03,427 --> 01:24:06,227 You know, you ever heard someone say that old expression.: 1401 01:24:06,327 --> 01:24:09,527 "Why does everything bad always happen to me?" 1402 01:24:09,627 --> 01:24:13,627 Well, I don't get those people... 'cause I've learned that if they just stop 1403 01:24:13,627 --> 01:24:20,427 and look around, they'd realize that everything happens for a reason. 1404 01:24:20,927 --> 01:24:23,927 (. "If I Had $ 1000000" by Barenaked Ladies continues)) 1405 01:25:52,927 --> 01:25:55,927 (. "Burn the Boats" by Early Edison)) 1406 01:29:56,627 --> 01:30:00,527 (TJ)) I told him he'd see the ass sooner or later.