DAD, STOP IT, LEAVE ME ALONE! MY HAIR!
OHH!
WHAT IS THE MATTER?
I THOUGHT YOU LIKED TO PLAY LIKE THIS.
WELL, I DON'T LIKE IT ANYMORE.
AND WHY NOT?
I'LL SHOW YOU WHY.
HEY, STOP, MY HAIR!
HA HA HA!
SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE MESSING UP MY HAIR. OH, MAN.
HA HA HA!
TA.
I'LL SEE YOU IN A FEW MINUTES, DADDY.
[ KNOCKS ]
HI, JUNIOR.
AH! DON'T YOU KNOCK?
WHAT IF I HAD A GIRL IN HERE?
THERE'D HAVE TO BE A LAMP AND A GENIE IN HERE, TOO.
HEY, THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE YOUR REPORT CARD,
WOULD IT?
HOW LONG WERE YOU STANDING THERE?
FOR...FOR...FORGERY?
THAT LONG, HUH?
OH, COME ON, IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD, IS IT?
I FLUNKED ALGEBRA.
SO, YOU TURNED AN "F" INTO AN "A"?
THAT IS JUST WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS.
YOU WILL NEVER GET AWAY WITH IT.
OH, I'LL GET AWAY WITH IT. I AM AN ARTISTE.
THAT "A" IS PERFECT.
UH, HUH, WELL, IT'D BE A SHAME
IF YOU DID ALL THAT WORK AND SOMEBODY TOLD ON YOU.
I GUESS NO ONE KNOWS BUT ME.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
MMM... HOW ABOUT YOUR SISQó CD?
DO WE HAVE A DEAL?
YES...
FOR NOW.
CLAIRE, THIS REPORT CARD IS SO GOOD
IT MAKES ME WANT TO SING.
OH, NO.
YES, YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE IT'S ALL...
♪ A's ♪
♪ "A," "A," YEAH ♪
♪ YOU GOT AN "A" ♪
♪ MY DAUGHTER GOT AN "A" ♪
[ BOTH SINGING ]
HEE HEE HEE!
ALL RIGHT, NOW, KADY, IT'S YOUR TURN.
COME OVER HERE AND SIT ON MY LAP.
BUT I DON'T HAVE A REPORT CARD.
YES, BUT YOU DO GO TO SCHOOL, RIGHT?
YOU GO TO TUMBLE TOTS. HOW YOU DOING THERE?
WELL, I LEARNED A NEW SONG,
AND IT'S CALLED "THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER."
"THE ITSY BITSY" -- I NEVER HEARD OF THAT ONE.
COULD YOU SING IT FOR ME?
♪ THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER WENT UP THE WATER SPOUT ♪
NOW SPANISH.
[ SINGING IN SPANISH ]
SWAHILI.
[ SINGING IN SWAHILI ]
[ ALL APPLAUDING ]
YAY!
CLAIRE, TAKE KADY UP TO BED, PLEASE.
TIME TO GIVE THAT BIG BRAIN OF HERS A REST.
OKAY, MOMMY.
GOOD NIGHT, LADIES.
GOOD NIGHT, DADDY.
DRUM ROLL, PLEASE.
AND NOW THE FINAL CONTESTANT
ON "LET'S SEE IF I LET YOU CONTINUE TO LIVE IN MY HOUSE"...
MICHAEL KYLE JR.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
WHOO!
MM-MMM, SOUNDS A LITTLE IFFY.
DAD.
WHAT? IT DOESN'T STINK YET.
BABY, WHAT DOES THAT SMELL LIKE?
SMELLS HOPEFUL. SMELLS HOPEFUL.
CAN WE...?
OKAY, LET'S OPEN IT UP.
JUST A LITTLE REFLEX.
NOW, LET'S OPEN IT UP.
AND THE AWARD GOES TO MICHAEL KYLE JR.
FOR AN "A" IN ART.
OH!
IT'S AN EASY "A," BUT WE TAKE A's
ANY WAY WE GET THEM.
HE GOT AN "A" IN LUNCH, TOO.
"B" IN ENGLISH, UP FROM A "C."
NOW, I TOLD YOU GOOD THINGS WOULD HAPPEN
IF YOU CUT YOUR BATHROOM TIME IN HALF, RIGHT?
WHAT'S THE NEXT ONE, BABY?
OH, "B" IN SCIENCE. EXCELLENT!
AND A "B" IN HISTORY?
ARE MY EYES SEEING WHAT I THINK THEY'RE SEEING?
YES, THEY ARE.
AFTER THREE STRAIGHT C's IN MATH,
YOU GET AN "A" IN ALGEBRA?
PRETTY GOOD, HUH? EVERYBODY HAPPY?
HAPPY? IN THE WORDS OF MIKE TYSON...
[ Imitating Mike Tyson ] "WE'RE ECSTATIC!"
OKAY, GREAT, NOW YOU JUST NEED TO SIGN THE BOTTOM.
OKAY, I'LL SIGN IT, BUT FIRST COME HERE
AND GIVE ME A HANDSHAKE.
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
BOY, COME HERE, COME HERE TO YOUR MOTHER, COME HERE.
SEE, I TOLD YOU -- NOTHING IS OUT OF YOUR REACH
IF YOU JUST PUT YOUR MIND TO IT.
SO, HOW ABOUT SIGNING IT?
BECAUSE I HAVE SOME ALGEBRA UPSTAIRS
I'D LOVE TO GET TO WORK ON.
I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO DO THAT.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO MATHEMATIZE ME.
THERE IT IS.
OH, NO, NO, NO. I'M KEEPING THIS WITH ME.
I WANT TO RUB IT ALL OVER MY BODY.
IT FEELS SO GOOD.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOUR FATHER AND I ARE GOING TO SIT HERE,
READ IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN LIKE A GOOD BOOK.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'LL GET IT LATER.
SON...
Both: "A."
HE FORGED IT, DIDN'T HE?
MM-HMM.
LET'S HOLD IT UP TO THE LIGHT
AND SEE WHAT DUMDUM REALLY GOT.
AN "F"? OH, I'M GOING TO GO TALK TO THIS BOY
RIGHT NOW.
NO, NO, NO. HOLD ON.
SEE, WE HAVE THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY
TO HELP HIM ADMIT HIS MISTAKE AND TO REPENT.
I KNOW YOU, MICHAEL.
YOU'RE GOING TO TOY WITH HIM, AREN'T YOU?
YES...
[ Imitating Mike Tyson ] AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK,
I'M GOING TO BITE HIS EAR OFF.
HA HA HA!
HOW WAS PRACTICE, L.L. COOL "A"?
GOOD. REAL GOOD.
WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD ON A SECOND.
EVERYBODY LINE UP. READY?
WE GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU. YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS.
OKAY, 1, 2, 3.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THEY'RE GREAT, BUT WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
LOTS OF KIDS GET AN "A" IN ALGEBRA.
OH, WE DON'T CARE ABOUT OTHER KIDS.
WE CARE ABOUT YOU.
AND WE'RE GOING TO LET THE WORLD KNOW
HOW PROUD OF YOU WE ARE.
NO KNOCKING -- NOTED AGAIN.
HEY, I JUST CAME TO CONGRATULATE YOU.
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE ACTUALLY PULLING THIS OFF.
THAT'S RIGHT, 'CAUSE I'M THE MAN --
♪ THE MASTER "J," THE ONE WHO GOT AN "A" ♪
♪ NOW CAN YOU GO AWAY? ♪
DID YOU SEE THE PAPER TODAY?
NO, WHY?
THE PRICE OF SILENCE HAS GONE THROUGH THE ROOF.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE ALL OF MY CDs, THEN?
WILL THAT DO IT?
OH, NO, NO, NO, JUNIOR.
I ALREADY OWN ALL OF YOUR CDs.
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MUCH MORE.
I HAVE A LIST.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S HEAR IT.
WELL, FIRST OFF, I NEED YOU TO GET A CHAUFFEUR'S HAT.
WHY'S THAT?
BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO BE DRIVING SOON,
AND THERE ARE PLACES I NEED TO BE.
WHAT ELSE?
THERE'S SOMETHING SANTA FORGOT TO BRING ME
LAST YEAR FOR CHRISTMAS.
AND WHAT'S THAT?
YOUR CELL PHONE.
IS THAT IT?
NO. I NEED YOU TO SIGN THIS.
WHAT IS THIS?
IT'S AN ORGAN DONOR CARD,
IN CASE I EVER NEED A KIDNEY.
FINE. NOW WE'RE EVEN.
OH, WAIT, THERE'S ONE MORE THING.
I'M GOING TO NEED YOUR SUEDE JACKET.
NO, NO. YOU CAN HAVE A KIDNEY,
BUT MY JACKET?
ARE YOU SURE? 'CAUSE I'M GOING TO NEED SOMETHING
TO COVER THIS.
"MY BROTHER REALLY GOT AN 'F' IN ALGEBRA"?
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
Claire: JUNIOR? UM, I'M BAKING YOU A CAKE.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA FROSTING?
CHOCOLATE.
I LIKE VANILLA.
VANILLA'S BETTER. MAKE IT VANILLA.
JUNIOR, ISN'T THAT YOUR FAVORITE SUEDE JACKET?
YES, YES, IT IS.
WHY IS CLAIRE WEARING IT?
WHY? I LOVE MY SISTER, AND SHE LOVES MY JACKET.
I LOVE SEEING HER HAPPY.
JUNIOR, FIRST THE "A" AND NOW THIS?
WHAT A FINE YOUNG MAN YOU'VE CHANGED INTO.
YES, JUNIOR, IT'S REMARKABLE
THE CHANGES YOU'VE MADE LATELY.
CLAIRE'S WORKING ON HIM, TOO, AND I DON'T LIKE IT.
JUST LET IT GO FOR A WHILE.
LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
I DON'T THINK YOUR PLAN IS WORKING, MICHAEL.
I SAY WE DROP THIS WHOLE CHARADE,
GROUND HIS BUTT, AND GET HIM A TUTOR.
WELL, WHERE'S THE FUN IN THAT?
LOOK, BESIDES ALGEBRA,
HE'S ACTUALLY DOING PRETTY GOOD IN SCHOOL.
IT'S HIS LYING I'M CONCERNED WITH.
YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE I'M STARTING
TO GET IMPRESSED BY IT.
I THOUGHT I'D HAVE HIM CRACKED BY NOW.
YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE PROUD OF HIM.
WELL, IN A WAY, I AM.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE DON KING --
WE THINK HE'S FULL OF IT, BUT HE DOES IT...
[ Imitating Don King ] WITH SUCH PRODIGIOUS FORTITUDE,
THAT YOU HAVE TO APPRECIATE HIS STYLOGRAPHY.
YEAH, WELL, YOUR SON IS GETTING PRETTY COCKY NOW.
OH, REALLY?
YEAH.
OH, WATCH THIS.
OH, JUNIOR?
WHAT YOU NEED, DAD?
I WANT YOU TO SIT DOWN, SON.
YOUR MOTHER AND I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
SO...WHAT'S UP?
YOU SEE THESE?
THOSE ARE THE YEAR-END NUMBERS
FOR MY COMPANY, AND THEY'RE VERY COMPLEX.
IT TOOK FIVE ACCOUNTANTS TO GET THEM THIS FAR.
WE HAD SIX, BUT ONE OF THEM HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
POOR MURRAY.
SO, WHAT'S THIS GOT TO DO WITH ME?
WELL, THERE ARE DISCREPANCIES,
AND WITH YOUR "A" IN ALGEBRA,
I FIGURED YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I CAN TRUST NOW.
I MEAN, YOU'RE FAMILY,
SO I KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIE TO ME.
DAD, I'M NOT A TRAINED ACCOUNTANT.
DO YOU HEAR THIS GUY?
JUNIOR, I REALLY ADMIRE YOUR HUMILITY.
LOOK AT THIS GUY.
ALL RIGHT, STOP THE HORSING AROUND.
HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE YOU TO FIX THIS,
10, 15 MINUTES?
DAD, THIS STUFF COULD TAKE HOURS.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, WE'LL PLAY ALONG.
I DON'T NEED THEM
UNTIL 7:00 A.M. TOMORROW MORNING.
SURE, DAD. I'LL GET STARTED ON IT RIGHT AWAY.
OKAY, AND, HEY, COULD YOU DO IT
IN TRIPLICATE FOR ME?
YOU WANT FOUR COPIES?
GOOD MORNING.
BEAUTIFUL DAY OUT, ISN'T IT?
YES, IT IS. AND SO, WHERE ARE THE REPORTS?
DONE AND DONE.
YOU WERE RIGHT, THOUGH -- THERE WERE SOME DISCREPANCIES.
SEE, CHECK THE AMORTIZATION ON ITEM 14.
ALMOST MISSED IT.
PROBABLY WHAT SENT MURRAY OVER THE EDGE.
WELL, I'M RUNNING A TAD LATE FOR SCHOOL.
LOVE YOU BOTH. CIAO.
OH, MY GOD, HE DID IT? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?
I'LL TELL YOU HOW IT'S POSSIBLE --
LAST NIGHT, WHILE WE WERE SLEEPING,
HE SNUCK OUT AND FOUND A 24-HOUR ACCOUNTANT.
HOW DO YOU KNOW HE SAW AN ACCOUNTANT?
THEY'RE NOTARIZED.
OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH. HE'S LYING ON TOP OF LIES.
I SAY WE CALL HIM ON IT TODAY.
HOLD ON, HOLD ON. LISTEN.
SURE, WE COULD GO YELL AT HIM, WE COULD GROUND HIM,
WE COULD ACTUALLY BEAT HIM WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE.
THAT WOULD BE OUR GOD-GIVEN RIGHT AS PARENTS.
BUT WHAT'S JUNIOR GOING TO LEARN FROM THAT?
WELL, FOR STARTERS,
HE'LL LEARN HOW TO SIT STANDING UP.
AND SECONDLY, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,
HE'LL LEARN ALGEBRA.
NO, IT'S THE LYING I'M CONCERNED WITH.
SEE, IT STARTS OFF WITH ALGEBRA,
AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW HE'S GOING...
[ Imitating Bill Clinton ] "I DID NOT HAVE
SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN."
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU ONE MORE SHOT,
BUT THEN HIS BUTT IS MINE.
OKAY.
OKAY, SO, ARE YOU READY FOR THE MOVIE?
DO THE SOUND, DADDY.
YOU WANT ME TO DO THE THX SOUND? OKAY.
[ MAKES SIGNATURE THX SOUND ]
THE AUDIENCE IS LISTENING!
JUNIOR, POPCORN'S READY!
HEY.
"A."
SO, WHAT DID YOU RENT?
OH, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS. IT'S CALLED "LIAR, LIAR."
DIDN'T WE ALREADY SEE THAT?
YEAH, BUT I FIGURED WE'D WATCH IT AGAIN.
I GUESS AFTER TONIGHT
WE'LL HAVE SEEN "LIAR, LIAR," "LIAR, LIAR."
"LIAR, LIAR," IT IS.
OH, LOOK AT ALL THOSE STAIRS.
JUNIOR, WILL YOU CARRY ME UP?
WHAT?
WELL, I'M SO TIRED, AND THERE'S 1, 2...
I CAN'T EVEN COUNT HOW MANY STAIRS.
YOU TELL ME, JUNIOR.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'SSOGOOD AT MATH.
HOP ON.
AW, ISN'T THAT SWEET?
NO, THAT IS NOT SWEET.
I'M GOING UPSTAIRS AND TEACHING THAT GIRL A LESSON RIGHT NOW.
WHILE YOU'RE BUSY PLAYING WITH JUNIOR,
I'M GOING TO GET SOME RESULTS.
GOOD LUCK. SO COME HERE, MY ONLY GOOD CHILD.
WHAT MOVIE WE GOING TO WATCH?
"PINOCCHIO."
I KNOW. YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHAT YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW. YOU KNOW?
MM-HMM, AND I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.
YOU KNOW, AND YOU KNOW I KNOW.
OH, NO.
THAT'S RIGHT.
BUT, SEE, MAMA --
WAIT, WHOA, HO-HOLD UP, NOW.
COME ON, NOW YOU MADE A DEAL WITH JUNIOR
NOT TO TELL ON HIM, RIGHT?
WELL, IT WAS MORE --
PLEASE. HE GAVE YOU HIS JACKET, DID YOUR CHORES,
CARRIED YOU ON HIS BACK LIKE YOU WERE
MISS DAISY WITH A FLAT.
I COME IN HERE, AND YOU'RE WEARING HIS HEADPHONES.
SO STOP TRYING TO DENY IT. IT'S INSULTING.
OKAY, OKAY.
I PROMISED HIM I'D BE QUIET.
FINE, AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO BREAK A PROMISE,
BUT THAT STILL LEAVES US.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
WELL, I COULD TELL YOUR FATHER,
AND YOU CAN GET PUNISHED,
OR WE COULD KEEP IT TO OURSELVES.
MOMMY, THANK YOU. YOU'RE THE BEST MOM.
OHH...IF YOU'RE WILLING TO DO A FEW THINGS FOR ME.
LIKE WHAT?
OH, I DON'T KNOW,
LIKE, UH, STRAIGHTEN OUT MY CLOSET, DO THE WASH,
COOK BREAKFAST FOR A WEEK,
AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF.
BUT, MOM, THAT'S BLACKMAIL.
NO, NO, NO, SWEETHEART. THAT'S BLACK FEMALE.
I FINISHED WASHING YOUR CAR, MOM.
OH, THAT IS SO SWEET, DEAR.
SO, AM I DONE?
OH, YEAH, FOR NOW.
HEY, CLAIRE, I'M GOING TO STOP
AND GET SOME TAKE-OUT TONIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT, MEXICAN OR CHINESE?
CHINESE. I LIKE MEXICAN.
MEXICAN'S GOOD.
YOU SURE BROKE THAT CHILD FAST.
IT'S A GIFT.
NOW I'M ABOUT TO WORK MY MAGIC ON JUNIOR.
OH, NO, NO, HE'S STILL MINE.
SEE, HE'S TAKING ME THE DISTANCE,
BUT I WAS JUST DOING THE ROPE-A-DOPE.
NOW I'M GOING TO COME OFF
AND GIVE HIM THE KNOCKOUT PUNCH.
SEE, I'M FEELING LIKE MUHAMMAD ALI --
[ As Muhammad Ali ] I FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY,
I SMELL LIKE PETUNIAS.
WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT I DO WITH THE BOY JUNIOR.
PETUNIA AND JUNIOR RHYME.
MESSING WITH YOU,
I'M GOING TO BE LATE FOR WORK.
GET THIS THING FINISHED WITH JUNIOR,
AND GET IT FINISHED TODAY.
YES, MA'AM. BYE.
MESSING WITH ME. HEY, JUNIOR!
COME HERE A SECOND.
HEY, DAD.
"A," SON. SO WHAT'S UP?
LISTEN, YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING LAST NIGHT --
DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE FIRST MALE
IN THE KYLE FAMILY TO CRACK THE MYSTERY
KNOWN AS ALGEBRA?
IS THAT RIGHT?
WOW, THAT OUGHT TO TRANSLATE
TO AN INCREASE IN MY ALLOWANCE.
YEAH, LET'S DO THAT. LET'S GIVE YOU A RAISE.
SIT DOWN.
WHAT ARE YOU GETTING NOW, $10 A WEEK?
I WANT YOU TO TAKE THE SQUARE ROOT
OF YOUR $10, AND MULTIPLY THAT BY, LET'S SAY,
14.5 PERCENT, WHICH YOU KNOW
IS GOING TO GIVE YOU "X,"
AND THEN I WANT YOU TO DIVIDE THAT BY PI.
NOW, WHAT WOULD THAT BE, MY LITTLE RAIN MAN?
THAT WOULD BE... GREAT, DAD.
GOOD, A 15 CENT INCREASE.
15 CENTS?
THAT'S RIGHT, AND THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION.
A WHAT?
A CELEBRATION, A PARTY. NO, NOT A PARTY,
A PAR-TAY.
WE'RE GOING TO GO ALL OUT.
WE'RE GOING TO DRESS UP IN SUITS.
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE MUSIC AND BALLOONS AND BANNERS.
I'M GOING TO FLY IN RERUN AND HAVE HIM TEACH US
THAT DANCE THEY USED TO DO.
JEEZ, DAD, I MEAN, THAT SOUNDS PRETTY EXPENSIVE.
OH, NO, NO, NO.
SEE, WITH YOUR GRADES, I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET
A FULL SCHOLARSHIP.
THEREFORE, I DECIDED WE'RE GOING TO BLOW
ALL YOUR COLLEGE MONEY NOW.
MY SON THE GENIUS.
OKAY, SAY IT LIKE THERE'S A HOT POTATO
IN THE BACK OF YOUR THROATS.
All: "A."
HEY, LOOK, THE REVEREND MAYO IS HERE.
REVEREND. LOOK WHO'S HERE.
BLESS YOU, CHILD. YOU'RE JUST WHAT THIS COMMUNITY NEEDS --
GOOD, HONEST, YOUNG MATHEMATICIAN.
CAN I GET AN AAA-MEN?
All: AAA-MEN!
THIS IS GREAT, SON.
NOW EVEN GOD KNOWS YOU GOT THE "A."
WEENIE?
UH, NO, THANKS.
I PUT YOUR SUEDE JACKET
BACK IN YOUR CLOSET, WEENIE.
YOU DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE?
NO, I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS ANYMORE.
Michael: UH, LISTEN UP, EVERYONE.
I DON'T WANT US TO FORGET WHY WE'RE ALL HERE --
OUR BRILLIANT SON, MICHAEL KYLE JR.
COME HERE TO ME, BOY.
NEVER BEFORE HAVE I BEEN SO PROUD TO HAVE HIM
BEAR MY NAME.
THIS IS THE FRUIT OF MY LOOMS HERE.
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE,
I DON'T REGRET THOSE 13 HOURS
I SPENT IN LABOR.
WHO KNEW THIS BIG HEAD WAS FULL OF NUMBERS?
I THOUGHT SHE WAS HAVING TWINS.
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU NEED TO TELL ME, MIKE?
NO, DAD. HEY, GREAT PARTY.
WELL, THEN LET'S HAVE A WORD
FROM THE GUEST OF HONOR -- MR. MICHAEL KYLE JR.
GIVE US A SPEECH. COME ON.
COME ON, BABY.
Michael: THIS IS MY FAVORITE CHAIR.
I WANT YOU TO STAND ON MY FAVORITE CHAIR.
TELL US WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GET AN "A."
WELL -- HOLD ON A SECOND.
WHAT WOULD THIS "A" PARTY BE
WITHOUT THE MAN WHO GAVE YOU THE GRADE?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR. GRIGLER --
MICHAEL'S ALGEBRA TEACHER -- IS HERE.
[ APPLAUSE ]
SURPRISE! SURPRISE!
MICHAEL JR.,
COME ON DOWN.
THIS IS YOUR LIFE.
[ MICHAEL WHISTLING ]
JUNIOR, COME ON. WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE.
WOW, CLAIRE, THAT'S A GREAT JOB.
LOOK, YOU MISSED A SPOT, THOUGH.
HA HA HA HA. COME HERE.
MMM.
OH, LOOK AT THE MAN OF THE HOUR.
THERE HE IS.
SO, HOW YOU FEELING?
ALL THAT LYING TOOK A LOT OUT OF ME.
THAT'S RIGHT. SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM THIS?
TO ONLY USE MY EVIL GENIUS FOR GOOD.
AND WHAT ELSE?
NEVER MESS WITH A SUPERIOR INTELLIGENCE.
THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO HEAR.
SO YOU READY? YOU KNOW WHERE MY CAR IS? YES, SIR.
OKAY. BABY, I LOVE YOU. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
OKAY, HAVE A NICE DAY.
HI-HO, JUNIOR, AWAY!
BUT WHAT'S HE GOING TO LEARN FROM THAT?
WELL...
BUT WHAT IS HE GOING TO LEARN FROM THAT?
WELL, FOR STARTERS -- DANG IT!
BUT WHAT IS HE GOING TO LEARN FROM THAT?
WELL, FOR STARTERS, HE'LL LEARN HOW TO SIT
WITH HIS BUTT IN THE AIR?