1 00:01:09,383 --> 00:01:11,851 [ Dogs Barking ] 2 00:01:14,988 --> 00:01:18,822 [ Toys Squeaking ] 3 00:01:18,892 --> 00:01:21,725 [ Dogs Whimpering ] 4 00:01:28,034 --> 00:01:30,730 [ Guns Cocking ] 5 00:01:30,804 --> 00:01:33,637 Ah, the Heckler & Koch G-36. 6 00:01:33,707 --> 00:01:36,005 Quite deadly in the right hands. 7 00:01:58,598 --> 00:02:01,328 Ah, Agent One. 8 00:02:03,570 --> 00:02:06,630 I have been so looking forward to this moment. 9 00:02:06,706 --> 00:02:11,336 Well, in that case, I'll try not to disappoint. 10 00:02:11,411 --> 00:02:16,542 You overestimate your power over women, Mr. English. 11 00:02:18,018 --> 00:02:20,680 I'd say that would be virtually impossible. 12 00:02:33,867 --> 00:02:37,769 Sir? Sir? 13 00:02:39,139 --> 00:02:41,664 - Sir! Have you got them? - [ Gasps ] 14 00:02:41,741 --> 00:02:44,574 - Hmm? - The mission documents. Agent One's flying tonight. 15 00:02:44,611 --> 00:02:50,243 Yes, the mission documents. They're here somewhere. Ah, here we are. 16 00:02:52,953 --> 00:02:55,012 Agent One. 17 00:02:55,088 --> 00:02:56,953 Gentlemen. 18 00:03:03,396 --> 00:03:05,330 I'm here for my documents. 19 00:03:05,398 --> 00:03:08,731 Bough, Agent One's documents, please. 20 00:03:12,305 --> 00:03:14,569 - [ Clears Throat ] - Thank you. 21 00:03:14,641 --> 00:03:16,302 Your mission documents, Agent One. 22 00:03:16,343 --> 00:03:20,746 Including the codes for the submarine hatch, which I've checked myself. 23 00:03:20,814 --> 00:03:23,612 Thank you. 24 00:03:23,683 --> 00:03:28,882 So, is it just France tonight, or will you be slipping over the Pyrenees as well? 25 00:03:28,955 --> 00:03:32,857 If I told you that, I'm afraid I'd have to kill you. 26 00:03:32,926 --> 00:03:37,260 Oh. [ Nervous Chuckle ] 27 00:03:37,330 --> 00:03:42,859 [ Muttering ] Oh,yes,yes. Well, I expect you would. 28 00:03:42,936 --> 00:03:44,927 Cheerio, Agent One. 29 00:03:45,005 --> 00:03:48,202 Bonne chance. Arrivederci. 30 00:03:49,809 --> 00:03:54,746 Such class. Such distinction. 31 00:03:55,015 --> 00:03:59,543 [ Bell Tolling ] To: MI7 All Depts. Urgent Agent One killed in action in Biarritz. 32 00:03:59,619 --> 00:04:03,248 Submarine hatch failed to open. 33 00:04:03,323 --> 00:04:08,590 The greatest secret agent England's ever had snuffed out in an instant. 34 00:04:08,662 --> 00:04:11,563 Terrible. 35 00:04:11,631 --> 00:04:15,260 Do you know what makes us envied the world over, Bough? 36 00:04:15,302 --> 00:04:19,739 - That there's always another agent waiting to step in. - Absolutely, sir. 37 00:04:19,806 --> 00:04:23,264 And every last one of them is gathered around that grave. 38 00:04:23,343 --> 00:04:27,803 It is our honor and privilege to guard them while they grieve. 39 00:04:27,881 --> 00:04:32,079 Their lives are in our hands, Bough. 40 00:04:32,152 --> 00:04:34,552 [ Tires Screeching ] 41 00:04:41,027 --> 00:04:43,860 Everything in order, English? 42 00:04:43,930 --> 00:04:47,832 I think you'll find it's rather more than just in order, sir. 43 00:04:47,901 --> 00:04:51,997 You're now entering the most secure location in the whole of England. 44 00:04:56,343 --> 00:04:59,642 [ Cow Mooing ] 45 00:04:59,713 --> 00:05:02,011 [ Man ] Pegasus, we face a national crisis. 46 00:05:02,082 --> 00:05:06,143 Agent One was clearly onto something, and we have to find out what. 47 00:05:06,219 --> 00:05:08,813 I need another agent on this. Who else is there? 48 00:05:08,855 --> 00:05:12,689 No one, Prime Minister. They all died in the explosion. 49 00:05:12,759 --> 00:05:14,693 All of them? 50 00:05:14,728 --> 00:05:17,993 Well, luckily there is one who survived. 51 00:05:18,064 --> 00:05:19,395 Who? 52 00:05:19,466 --> 00:05:21,957 * One eye on the shadows * 53 00:05:22,035 --> 00:05:24,401 *Protecting his fellows * 54 00:05:24,437 --> 00:05:27,668 - *From sunup till the moon on his back * - [ Grunting ] 55 00:05:27,707 --> 00:05:31,541 - *Sendin'villains to Hades A hit with the ladies * -Johnny English. 56 00:05:31,611 --> 00:05:35,012 *A stallion in the sack * 57 00:05:35,081 --> 00:05:39,575 - * You can't get your life back when right follows left,Jack * - [ Groaning ] 58 00:05:39,619 --> 00:05:42,884 * The more you see the less you know * 59 00:05:42,956 --> 00:05:47,359 * When others would leak it His service is secret * 60 00:05:47,427 --> 00:05:51,329 *Plays God when it's your time to go * 61 00:05:51,398 --> 00:05:54,367 *Hey, fellas Don't bejealous * 62 00:05:54,434 --> 00:05:57,926 * When they made him they broke the mold * 63 00:05:58,004 --> 00:06:02,270 *So charismatic with an automatic * 64 00:06:02,342 --> 00:06:05,573 *Never prematurely shooting his load * 65 00:06:05,645 --> 00:06:07,670 Hah.! 66 00:06:07,747 --> 00:06:09,214 * Queen and country safe and sound * 67 00:06:09,249 --> 00:06:11,308 * With villains six feet underground * 68 00:06:11,351 --> 00:06:13,876 *And no one knows 'cause no one's found any trace * 69 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,787 * Of a man for all seasons * 70 00:06:16,856 --> 00:06:19,518 *Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone * 71 00:06:19,592 --> 00:06:22,925 *So alone * 72 00:06:22,962 --> 00:06:26,921 *And you and I wouldn't have a clue who's doin'what, why, when and who * 73 00:06:26,966 --> 00:06:29,434 * Up a creek with no canoe Watch out * 74 00:06:29,502 --> 00:06:32,130 *For the man for all seasons * 75 00:06:32,205 --> 00:06:35,140 *Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone * 76 00:06:35,208 --> 00:06:36,766 *So alone * 77 00:06:36,810 --> 00:06:42,009 - *But safe at home * - *But safe at home * 78 00:06:42,048 --> 00:06:46,382 - * Oh,yeah,yeah * - *But safe at home * 79 00:06:46,453 --> 00:06:49,479 *But safe at home But safe at home * 80 00:06:53,827 --> 00:06:57,319 * Then you and I wouldn't have a clue who's doin'what, why, when and who * 81 00:06:57,397 --> 00:07:00,764 * Up a creek with no canoe Watch out * 82 00:07:00,834 --> 00:07:03,132 *For the man for all seasons * 83 00:07:03,203 --> 00:07:07,105 *Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone, so alone * 84 00:07:07,173 --> 00:07:11,337 *But safe at home ** 85 00:07:13,546 --> 00:07:15,571 Right. 86 00:07:15,648 --> 00:07:19,744 Johnny English. I'm here to see Pegasus. 87 00:07:19,819 --> 00:07:23,152 Still, no sense rushing things. 88 00:07:25,525 --> 00:07:28,926 There are some items you need to sign before your briefing. 89 00:07:28,995 --> 00:07:32,021 This is your new retinal I.D. card, 90 00:07:32,098 --> 00:07:34,896 and this is your level nine security clearance. 91 00:07:34,934 --> 00:07:38,700 Sign and date, please. 92 00:07:38,772 --> 00:07:41,002 Ah. 93 00:07:41,074 --> 00:07:44,840 Oh, reminds me of the old service issue ballpoint. 94 00:07:44,911 --> 00:07:48,472 I remember every agent would carry a pen that looked just like this. 95 00:07:48,548 --> 00:07:51,881 Completely innocent to the untrained eye, but click it twice-- 96 00:07:51,951 --> 00:07:53,942 [ Gasps ] 97 00:07:55,688 --> 00:07:58,122 Ah, English, there you are. 98 00:07:58,191 --> 00:08:01,217 Have you seen my secretary? 99 00:08:01,294 --> 00:08:04,627 Um... she went out. 100 00:08:05,799 --> 00:08:09,565 Um... shall we? 101 00:08:12,305 --> 00:08:16,867 Now, Agent One believed that there was a plot to steal the Crown Jewels. 102 00:08:16,943 --> 00:08:19,741 They've recently been through a multimillion-pound restoration, 103 00:08:19,779 --> 00:08:22,509 largely paid for by a corporate sponsor. 104 00:08:22,582 --> 00:08:26,143 They're due to be unveiled tonight at the Tower of London. 105 00:08:26,219 --> 00:08:30,485 The queen is insisting that the ceremony goes ahead, so what we want you to-- 106 00:08:33,226 --> 00:08:36,718 Hah! Who-- Who-- 107 00:08:36,796 --> 00:08:39,526 Who is the sponsor, sir? 108 00:08:39,599 --> 00:08:42,033 Pascal Sauvage. 109 00:08:42,101 --> 00:08:45,161 What, that flouncy Frenchman who owns a couple of prisons? 110 00:08:45,238 --> 00:08:48,674 Sauvage's £7 billion empire, English, 111 00:08:48,741 --> 00:08:51,767 operates over 400 prisons in 60 countries. 112 00:08:51,845 --> 00:08:54,405 - He's built 25 of them here. - Right, sir. 113 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:57,244 The man's related to the royal family, for goodness'sake. 114 00:08:57,317 --> 00:09:02,448 As far as the prime minister's concerned, he's one of the greatest friends England's got. 115 00:09:02,522 --> 00:09:08,392 Now, English, I want you at the Tower tonight, monitoring this unveiling. 116 00:09:08,461 --> 00:09:11,089 Any chink in security, any weakness, 117 00:09:11,164 --> 00:09:14,065 however slight, must be plugged immediately. 118 00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:16,601 Do we understand each other? 119 00:09:16,669 --> 00:09:18,762 - Perfectly, sir. - Good. 120 00:09:18,838 --> 00:09:21,705 - Oh, yes. - And, uh, English... 121 00:09:21,774 --> 00:09:25,471 we can't afford any mistakes-- not tonight. 122 00:09:25,545 --> 00:09:30,380 The word ''mistake,'' sir, is not one that appears in my dictionary. 123 00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:33,146 THE TOWER OF LONDON 124 00:09:34,287 --> 00:09:36,312 [ Engine Revs ] 125 00:09:36,389 --> 00:09:38,482 Fantastic car, sir! 126 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:52,601 Mr. English, Colonel Sir Anthony Chevenix, head of Royal Security. 127 00:09:52,672 --> 00:09:54,663 Ah, Colonel, good evening. 128 00:09:54,741 --> 00:09:57,733 - Snipers posted on the roof as per my request? - Thirteen of them. 129 00:09:57,810 --> 00:10:00,836 - Windows? - Refitted with bullet- and shatter-proof glass. 130 00:10:03,983 --> 00:10:07,976 I shall now mingle inconspicuously with the guests. 131 00:10:08,054 --> 00:10:11,148 - Let me know when Her Majesty arrives. - Very good. 132 00:10:11,224 --> 00:10:13,954 Shall I mingle with you, sir? 133 00:10:14,027 --> 00:10:17,224 Oh, yes, Bough. Once you've checked the roof. 134 00:10:36,015 --> 00:10:39,815 [ Screaming ] 135 00:10:39,886 --> 00:10:42,013 Help! Help! 136 00:10:42,088 --> 00:10:44,113 Well, hello. 137 00:10:45,258 --> 00:10:47,283 Hello yourself. 138 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,295 Johnny English. 139 00:10:50,363 --> 00:10:52,991 Lorna Campbell. 140 00:10:53,066 --> 00:10:56,001 A Bloody Mary, please, not too spicy. 141 00:10:56,069 --> 00:10:59,732 So, are you here in some professional capacity? 142 00:10:59,806 --> 00:11:02,206 I worked on the restoration of the jewels. 143 00:11:02,275 --> 00:11:05,335 - Intriguing. - And yourself? 144 00:11:05,411 --> 00:11:09,211 If I told you that, I'm afraid I'd have to kill you. 145 00:11:09,282 --> 00:11:11,580 I'd like to see you try. 146 00:11:17,223 --> 00:11:20,715 Monsieur Sauvage, on behalf of Her Majesty, 147 00:11:20,793 --> 00:11:23,091 may I welcome you to the Tower. 148 00:11:23,162 --> 00:11:25,460 Merci, monsieur. 149 00:11:25,498 --> 00:11:27,693 So, are you here alone, Mr. English? 150 00:11:27,767 --> 00:11:30,930 That's how I choose to live my life, Miss Campbell. 151 00:11:31,004 --> 00:11:35,907 Women want safety, security. I can offer them nothing but danger. 152 00:11:35,975 --> 00:11:38,910 Some women find danger very attractive. 153 00:11:38,978 --> 00:11:42,141 Women like you, Miss Campbell? 154 00:11:43,983 --> 00:11:47,248 Women like me expect men like you... 155 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,584 to find that out for yourself. 156 00:11:49,655 --> 00:11:52,522 Hmm. 157 00:11:52,592 --> 00:11:55,459 Madame. 158 00:11:55,528 --> 00:12:00,227 Oh, it's for me, actually. Could your rustle up some of those cheesy niblets? 159 00:12:00,299 --> 00:12:02,767 Now, where were we? 160 00:12:02,835 --> 00:12:05,804 You obviously haven't met our host, Monsieur Sauvage. 161 00:12:05,872 --> 00:12:08,067 No, thank God. 162 00:12:08,141 --> 00:12:12,908 You know, I think I'd rather have my bottom impaled on a giant cactus... 163 00:12:12,979 --> 00:12:15,743 than exchange pleasantries with that jumped-up Frenchman. 164 00:12:15,815 --> 00:12:20,946 As far as I'm concerned, the only thing the French should host is an invasion. 165 00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:25,218 [ Snickers ] Sorry, can I help? 166 00:12:25,291 --> 00:12:28,954 Pascal Sauvage, jumped-up Frenchman. 167 00:12:29,028 --> 00:12:32,156 Lorna Campbell. I've been so looking forward to meeting you. 168 00:12:32,231 --> 00:12:34,927 - Enchanté. - [ Muttering ] 169 00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:38,198 But of course! You'reJohnny English. I've heard all about you. 170 00:12:38,304 --> 00:12:41,967 And between you and me, I'm not so keen on the French myself. 171 00:12:42,041 --> 00:12:44,771 But please don't tell them that. 172 00:12:44,811 --> 00:12:47,678 Let me go and search for your nibbly cheese bits. 173 00:12:47,713 --> 00:12:52,582 - No, no, no. I-- - I insist. The French are, after all, fantastic waiters. 174 00:12:52,652 --> 00:12:54,847 - The best in the world. - Well-- But-But-- 175 00:12:54,921 --> 00:12:57,685 - Wait here, and I will wait on you. - No, really. There's no-- 176 00:12:57,723 --> 00:13:01,557 No. Please, please, please! 177 00:13:03,763 --> 00:13:05,856 Hmm. Les Français. 178 00:13:05,932 --> 00:13:11,370 Ils sont very... n'est-ce pas? 179 00:13:26,552 --> 00:13:30,318 Ladies and gentlemen, mesdames est messieurs, 180 00:13:30,389 --> 00:13:35,053 bienvenus, welcome tonight to this wonderful occasion. 181 00:13:35,128 --> 00:13:39,030 As we stand here in the Tower of London, 182 00:13:39,098 --> 00:13:41,293 the most famous prison in the world, 183 00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:44,928 where these wonderful jewels will rest safely... 184 00:13:45,037 --> 00:13:47,232 under lock and key, 185 00:13:47,306 --> 00:13:50,139 I want to thank you... 186 00:13:50,243 --> 00:13:53,235 for giving me this wonderful experience... 187 00:13:53,279 --> 00:13:58,239 to contribute to the restoration of these jewels. 188 00:13:58,317 --> 00:14:02,845 It was, as we say in France, le top, le best of. 189 00:14:02,922 --> 00:14:05,254 - [ Feigned Chuckle ] - And what a beautiful-- 190 00:14:05,558 --> 00:14:08,584 [ Screaming ] 191 00:14:21,174 --> 00:14:24,109 [ Grunts ] 192 00:14:24,177 --> 00:14:26,839 [ Woman Screams ] 193 00:14:26,913 --> 00:14:31,373 It's Colonel Chevenix! He's got a nasty wound, sir. Who hit him? 194 00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:35,079 The assailant. He ran in here. 195 00:14:35,154 --> 00:14:37,622 Bough, you guard the door. 196 00:14:37,690 --> 00:14:41,421 Aha! [ Grunting ] 197 00:14:41,494 --> 00:14:44,054 [ Pounding, Grunting ] 198 00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:47,622 For God's sake, Bough, don't come in. The man's a maniac! 199 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:51,101 - [ Guests Gasp ] - You don't frighten me.! 200 00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:53,434 - [ Glass Shatters ] - Missed.! 201 00:14:53,506 --> 00:14:56,441 [ Guests Gasping ] 202 00:15:01,180 --> 00:15:04,149 [ Grunting Continues ] 203 00:15:06,953 --> 00:15:10,719 [ Karate Yells ] 204 00:15:16,195 --> 00:15:18,527 [ Body Falls ] 205 00:15:22,301 --> 00:15:26,237 - [ Guests Gasping ] - I've managed to subdue the assailant. 206 00:15:26,305 --> 00:15:30,571 The panic's over. Everything's under control. 207 00:15:30,643 --> 00:15:34,602 - [ Applause ] - [ Chevenix Groans ] 208 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,547 Thank you. And now, ladies and gentlemen, 209 00:15:37,650 --> 00:15:40,517 we should compose ourselves for the arrival of Her Majesty... 210 00:15:40,586 --> 00:15:43,817 and return to the site of our great nation's... 211 00:15:43,889 --> 00:15:48,349 magnificently restored Crown Jewels. 212 00:15:50,096 --> 00:15:52,530 [ All Gasping ] 213 00:15:52,598 --> 00:15:54,623 I know. I feel it too. 214 00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:57,191 The very symbols of our island nation, 215 00:15:57,270 --> 00:16:01,206 so close we could almost reach out and-- 216 00:16:01,274 --> 00:16:06,871 - **[ Trumpet Fanfare ] - Pray silence for Her Majesty the Queen. 217 00:16:06,946 --> 00:16:10,040 [ Queen ] Oh, where are thejewels? 218 00:16:10,116 --> 00:16:12,778 [ Pegasus ] It's an unmitigated disaster, English. 219 00:16:12,818 --> 00:16:15,378 I couldn't agree more, sir. 220 00:16:15,454 --> 00:16:19,254 Well, we need to get these jewels back, English, and fast. 221 00:16:22,094 --> 00:16:27,396 Tell me about this assailant. When they searched the room, there was no sign ofhim. 222 00:16:27,466 --> 00:16:30,401 Well, the man was clearly a professional. 223 00:16:30,469 --> 00:16:33,700 He must have escaped while the queen was being sedated. 224 00:16:33,773 --> 00:16:36,833 But he's the only lead we've got. We have to find him. 225 00:16:36,909 --> 00:16:41,073 Come in. This is-- This is Roger from Data Support. 226 00:16:41,147 --> 00:16:44,310 Please sit down. He'll produce a likeness based on your description. 227 00:16:44,417 --> 00:16:47,853 So tell us, what did this man look like? 228 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:51,048 Um... well... 229 00:16:51,123 --> 00:16:54,388 he was... big. 230 00:16:54,460 --> 00:17:00,524 - Hair color? - Um... orange. 231 00:17:00,599 --> 00:17:03,762 - Orange? - Mmm. And curly. 232 00:17:03,836 --> 00:17:07,203 Well, frizzy, actually. Frizzy sort of thing. 233 00:17:07,239 --> 00:17:10,265 - Frizzy. - An eye patch. 234 00:17:10,343 --> 00:17:14,006 Broken nose. Very few teeth. 235 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,412 Two, I would say, at the most. 236 00:17:16,482 --> 00:17:19,918 And a scar on his cheek... 237 00:17:19,985 --> 00:17:24,422 in the shape... of a banana. 238 00:17:24,490 --> 00:17:28,551 - Which cheek? - Both cheeks. 239 00:17:28,627 --> 00:17:31,528 They sort of met in the middle. 240 00:17:39,438 --> 00:17:41,770 Are you sure about this, English? 241 00:17:41,841 --> 00:17:46,369 [ Gasps ] Oh,yes, that's him. An uncanny resemblance. 242 00:17:46,445 --> 00:17:50,814 Why, it's just as if he's in the room with us. 243 00:17:51,117 --> 00:17:53,608 [ Horn Honking, Tires Screeching ] 244 00:17:55,688 --> 00:18:01,058 Wow.! Look at this, sir. Got all the bells and whistles. 245 00:18:01,127 --> 00:18:04,119 Never mind about the gadgets. Just focus on the case. 246 00:18:04,196 --> 00:18:06,187 [ Horn Honks ] 247 00:18:09,034 --> 00:18:11,434 [ Engine Revs ] 248 00:18:11,504 --> 00:18:14,371 Oh, uh-- 249 00:18:19,211 --> 00:18:22,977 Good morning, gentlemen. Thank you very much for waiting. 250 00:18:23,048 --> 00:18:27,508 Now, the question that faces us this morning is a simple one. 251 00:18:27,586 --> 00:18:32,182 Namely, how did the thieves gain access to this highly secure environment... 252 00:18:32,258 --> 00:18:35,625 and then escape with thejewels afterwards? 253 00:18:35,694 --> 00:18:40,688 A simple question, but one which I believe has a complex answer. 254 00:18:40,766 --> 00:18:44,031 - Actually, sir-- - Uh, please, Bough. My mind is at work. 255 00:18:44,103 --> 00:18:47,129 Now, what you must grasp, gentlemen, is that the master criminal... 256 00:18:47,206 --> 00:18:51,609 sees not a room but a series of opportunities. 257 00:18:51,677 --> 00:18:54,043 Should I go in through the window? 258 00:18:54,113 --> 00:18:56,138 Possibly. 259 00:18:56,215 --> 00:19:00,777 - Should I drop down from the ceiling? - Actually, sir-- 260 00:19:00,853 --> 00:19:04,789 There's one thing I think we can be fairly confident about, 261 00:19:04,857 --> 00:19:07,519 that is that they didn't come up through the floor-- 262 00:19:07,593 --> 00:19:09,823 I've got you, sir. 263 00:19:09,895 --> 00:19:12,693 That's all right. Just come my way, Bough. 264 00:19:12,765 --> 00:19:16,565 - That'll bring me right over the hole, sir. - There's no need to panic. 265 00:19:19,905 --> 00:19:22,203 Can you see the bottom yet, Bough? 266 00:19:22,274 --> 00:19:25,243 Not yet, sir. The shaft appears to be narrowing. 267 00:19:25,311 --> 00:19:28,303 I'm just a little bit worried I might get stuck. 268 00:19:28,380 --> 00:19:32,077 Trust me, Bough. You won't get stuck if you just keep moving. 269 00:19:32,117 --> 00:19:35,575 Yes, sir. [ Bough Grunting ] 270 00:19:37,323 --> 00:19:38,654 I'm okay, sir. 271 00:19:38,724 --> 00:19:41,192 Are you at the bottom now, Bough? 272 00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:43,820 No, I am in fact stuck now, sir. 273 00:19:43,896 --> 00:19:47,662 Oh, for God's sake, Bough. Stay there! I'm coming down. 274 00:19:47,733 --> 00:19:50,964 Uh, I'm not especially sure that's a good idea, sir. 275 00:19:51,070 --> 00:19:53,903 Don't worry. 276 00:19:53,973 --> 00:19:56,498 Be careful, sir.! 277 00:19:59,912 --> 00:20:02,346 Gently does it. 278 00:20:02,414 --> 00:20:05,144 - [ Screaming ] - Sir? 279 00:20:09,421 --> 00:20:12,390 - Are you all right, sir? - Yes. I landed on something quite soft. 280 00:20:12,458 --> 00:20:15,256 - That was me, sir. - Oh, good. 281 00:20:16,629 --> 00:20:18,722 What now? 282 00:20:18,797 --> 00:20:21,698 There's no way back up there, that's for sure. 283 00:20:21,767 --> 00:20:23,860 But this must lead somewhere. 284 00:20:23,936 --> 00:20:26,097 I'm slightly uncomfortable in the dark, sir. 285 00:20:26,171 --> 00:20:28,435 There's nothing to worry about, Bough. 286 00:20:28,507 --> 00:20:32,603 - It may be pitch black, but we can still see. - Can we, sir? How? 287 00:20:32,678 --> 00:20:35,476 The Bedouin monks of the Al Maghreb mountains... 288 00:20:35,548 --> 00:20:37,982 developed a system of sonic chanting. 289 00:20:38,050 --> 00:20:40,814 - I see, sir. - The sound of their chanting... 290 00:20:40,886 --> 00:20:43,150 would bounce back off any obstacles, 291 00:20:43,222 --> 00:20:44,587 and using their highly tuned ears... 292 00:20:44,623 --> 00:20:47,490 they could paint a mental picture of the path ahead. 293 00:20:47,526 --> 00:20:51,758 - Brilliant, sir. - However, you must always sing in E-flat. 294 00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:54,355 ** [ Humming ] 295 00:20:54,433 --> 00:20:58,893 * E-flat, E-flat, E-flat * 296 00:20:58,971 --> 00:21:03,908 * Thank you for the music The songs I'm singing * 297 00:21:03,976 --> 00:21:06,206 - Is it working, sir? - Extremely well, thank you, Bough. 298 00:21:06,245 --> 00:21:08,770 * Thanks for all the joy that-- ** 299 00:21:08,847 --> 00:21:10,212 - [ Thud ] - Ow! 300 00:21:10,249 --> 00:21:13,776 You all right, sir? I think I can see something, sir. 301 00:21:13,819 --> 00:21:17,016 Oh,yeah. Come on. 302 00:21:19,024 --> 00:21:21,993 [ Quiet Chattering ] 303 00:21:36,041 --> 00:21:38,100 [ Man ] Here is the long one. 304 00:21:38,177 --> 00:21:40,304 [ Man #2 ] It is a long one. 305 00:21:40,379 --> 00:21:42,404 Careful. 306 00:21:47,252 --> 00:21:49,618 - I knew it. - Shall we call for backup, sir? 307 00:21:49,688 --> 00:21:53,681 What? And watch some fat-bottomed bobby make our arrest for us? 308 00:21:53,759 --> 00:21:55,750 I don't think so. 309 00:21:57,963 --> 00:22:02,491 Good morning, gentlemen. MI7 at your service. 310 00:22:02,568 --> 00:22:07,528 Observe, Bough, the dull incompetence of the criminal mind. 311 00:22:07,606 --> 00:22:11,872 It can never hope to match our level of technical expertise. 312 00:22:31,397 --> 00:22:34,889 - [ Tires Screeching ] - [ Coughing ] 313 00:22:59,625 --> 00:23:03,220 - You've got it. - [ Bough ] What do we do now, sir? 314 00:23:03,295 --> 00:23:05,354 Watch and learn, Bough. 315 00:23:09,535 --> 00:23:13,596 - They're too far ahead of us. - Have faith, Bough. They're heading south. 316 00:23:20,012 --> 00:23:22,378 [ Nuns Screaming ] 317 00:23:22,448 --> 00:23:25,212 - There they are, sir! -Just as I thought. 318 00:23:28,787 --> 00:23:32,621 - Hang on tight, Bough. - [ Bough Groaning ] 319 00:23:39,398 --> 00:23:42,890 - [ Horns Honking ] - We're never gonna catch them in this. 320 00:23:42,968 --> 00:23:45,960 - Take the wheel, Bough. I'm getting in the Aston. - Sir? 321 00:23:46,038 --> 00:23:49,098 [ Truck Horn Honking ] 322 00:23:49,174 --> 00:23:52,439 Change places, Bough. I'm getting out the other side. 323 00:23:52,478 --> 00:23:54,309 Sir? 324 00:24:15,768 --> 00:24:18,032 Set, Bough. Take me up. 325 00:24:26,078 --> 00:24:28,774 Swing me out, Bough! 326 00:24:32,618 --> 00:24:36,179 - Whoa. - Down. 327 00:24:40,859 --> 00:24:43,419 - [ Horn Honking ] - Up! Up! 328 00:24:46,298 --> 00:24:49,290 Sorry! 329 00:24:51,537 --> 00:24:53,630 Bough, pull out! 330 00:24:59,077 --> 00:25:02,012 Ow! Ow! 331 00:25:03,248 --> 00:25:06,115 Those idiots are right behind us. Faster.! 332 00:25:10,088 --> 00:25:12,886 [ Horns Honking ] 333 00:25:29,641 --> 00:25:31,802 Uh-huh. 334 00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:39,007 [ Beeping ] 335 00:25:50,829 --> 00:25:53,798 [ Horn Honking ] 336 00:25:56,468 --> 00:25:59,130 Drop me here, Bough! 337 00:26:02,341 --> 00:26:05,868 Ow! Oh. 338 00:26:05,944 --> 00:26:09,277 No! No! No! 339 00:26:09,348 --> 00:26:11,816 [ Bough ] Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 340 00:26:13,886 --> 00:26:16,446 [ Engine Starts, Revs ] 341 00:26:48,587 --> 00:26:51,647 [ English ] They're turning into the Brompton Cemetery. 342 00:26:51,723 --> 00:26:55,250 Get here as soon as you can. I'm going in. 343 00:27:02,567 --> 00:27:07,027 In a wheelchair. But Geoffrey overcame these terrible disabilities... 344 00:27:07,105 --> 00:27:11,007 with that simple resilience and sunny optimism... 345 00:27:11,076 --> 00:27:14,307 that so warmed all of us who knew him, 346 00:27:14,379 --> 00:27:16,847 spending the rest of his life in the service... 347 00:27:16,915 --> 00:27:19,941 of the poor and disabled of this parish. 348 00:27:20,018 --> 00:27:24,216 It's very good. Really very good. 349 00:27:24,289 --> 00:27:27,053 No, no, please go on. I'm sorry to interrupt. 350 00:27:27,125 --> 00:27:29,719 - It's very entertaining. - Who's that? 351 00:27:29,761 --> 00:27:32,992 That priest act of yours should keep the other prisoners entertained for hours. 352 00:27:34,433 --> 00:27:37,425 Oh, I'm so sorry. Where are my manners? Johnny English, 353 00:27:37,469 --> 00:27:41,565 British Secret Service, and you are all under arrest. 354 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,369 I must say you've done this whole thing very well. 355 00:27:43,408 --> 00:27:47,037 The attention to detail is excellent. 356 00:27:47,112 --> 00:27:50,309 You, the grieving granny, you're very convincing. 357 00:27:50,382 --> 00:27:54,512 Oh, look. Real tears. Do you get paid extra for that? 358 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:58,520 Ahh, what we're all here for. 359 00:27:58,590 --> 00:28:02,151 I know! Why don't we take a look inside? 360 00:28:02,227 --> 00:28:06,994 - [ Mourners Gasp ] - Oh, you've nailed it down! 361 00:28:07,065 --> 00:28:09,533 Why would you do that? 362 00:28:09,601 --> 00:28:14,595 I know you're gonna come back in two weeks and dig it up again. 363 00:28:14,673 --> 00:28:17,107 ** [ Hums ] 364 00:28:17,175 --> 00:28:22,272 Now, what are you playing in this little vignette of deceit and villainy? 365 00:28:22,347 --> 00:28:24,212 I'm the hearse driver. 366 00:28:24,249 --> 00:28:27,343 - You're the hearse driver? - Yes, sir. 367 00:28:29,688 --> 00:28:31,952 - You're the hearse driver? - Yes, sir. 368 00:28:32,024 --> 00:28:35,050 Ah.! Aha.! 369 00:28:35,127 --> 00:28:38,585 There you are... Gunther. 370 00:28:38,663 --> 00:28:43,066 Uh, I do hope he hasn't made a nuisance ofhimself. 371 00:28:43,268 --> 00:28:46,704 I'm Doctor, um... 372 00:28:49,174 --> 00:28:53,804 Bough, of the Lunatic Response Unit. 373 00:28:53,879 --> 00:28:58,043 I'm afraid Gunther here wasn't supposed to be released until 2028. 374 00:28:58,116 --> 00:29:00,949 Isn't that right, Gunther? 375 00:29:01,019 --> 00:29:05,080 Yes,yes, there's been the most monumental cock-up. 376 00:29:05,557 --> 00:29:10,119 Um, if you'll excuse me, with the deepest respect, 377 00:29:10,195 --> 00:29:12,561 utmost sympathy. 378 00:29:12,631 --> 00:29:15,327 Uh, he hasn't urinated on anyone, has he? 379 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,231 - No. - No, no. 380 00:29:17,302 --> 00:29:21,636 That's a blessing. Are you gonna give me the gun, Gunther? 381 00:29:27,379 --> 00:29:31,110 There. That wasn't too difficult, was it? 382 00:29:31,183 --> 00:29:35,415 - Are you going to come home now? - [ Speaking Gibberish ] 383 00:29:36,688 --> 00:29:40,146 [ Speaking Gibberish ] 384 00:29:40,225 --> 00:29:44,855 Oh... in the van! Yes, we are going in the van. 385 00:29:44,930 --> 00:29:47,364 Yes, yes. Vroom, vroom. 386 00:29:47,432 --> 00:29:50,663 - Vroom, vroom. Vroom, vroom. - Yes. Yeah. 387 00:29:50,735 --> 00:29:55,297 - [ Gibberish ] - Yes. He's waving good-bye. Good-bye, everyone. 388 00:29:55,373 --> 00:29:57,773 - Good-bye. - Good-bye, Gunther. 389 00:29:57,876 --> 00:30:00,743 Mind the nice dead people. There we go. 390 00:30:02,781 --> 00:30:05,841 [ Squeaks ] 391 00:30:05,917 --> 00:30:10,115 Oh, we'll just go to the path here. There. Big step. 392 00:30:10,188 --> 00:30:13,646 It's a graveyard. It's where they bring people-- 393 00:30:13,725 --> 00:30:15,420 Yes, all right. You can stop now. 394 00:30:15,460 --> 00:30:19,897 - For appearances, I'll just hold your arm. -Just keep walking. 395 00:30:19,965 --> 00:30:22,433 In fact, run, run, run! 396 00:30:28,473 --> 00:30:32,341 I can't believe I've done this. 397 00:30:32,410 --> 00:30:36,710 I mean, I really cannot believe I've done this! 398 00:30:41,086 --> 00:30:44,487 You see, 200 years ago, 399 00:30:44,556 --> 00:30:49,584 my family should have inherited the throne of England, 400 00:30:49,661 --> 00:30:52,562 but they were cast aside. 401 00:30:52,631 --> 00:30:56,032 Well, in a few very short days, 402 00:30:56,101 --> 00:30:59,332 it will be back where it belongs. 403 00:31:02,073 --> 00:31:04,735 With me. 404 00:31:04,809 --> 00:31:10,372 Shall I try it on? Yes? No? Maybe? 405 00:31:10,916 --> 00:31:14,545 To make you king, we need the archbishop of Canterbury to do that. 406 00:31:14,619 --> 00:31:16,780 The archbishop of Canterbury... 407 00:31:16,855 --> 00:31:20,916 is being taken care of even as we speak. TARGET ACQUI RED 408 00:31:20,992 --> 00:31:24,257 TARGET LOCKED 409 00:31:33,138 --> 00:31:37,097 There's only one thing, sir. What are we going to do about English? 410 00:31:39,945 --> 00:31:44,041 If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about English. 411 00:31:44,115 --> 00:31:47,881 He is no threat to us. I had his flat bugged. 412 00:31:49,554 --> 00:31:53,217 [ Karate Yells ] 413 00:32:11,243 --> 00:32:15,236 - [ Yells ] - [ Duck Squeaks ] 414 00:32:15,313 --> 00:32:18,942 Clearly, the aptly named English is a fool. 415 00:32:19,017 --> 00:32:22,680 He might be a fool, but he's a fool who keeps showing up. 416 00:32:22,754 --> 00:32:26,850 Well, the next time he shows up, 417 00:32:26,925 --> 00:32:29,086 eliminate him. 418 00:32:29,995 --> 00:32:30,290 Thank you. 419 00:32:30,996 --> 00:32:33,294 Dieter Klein and Klaus Vendetta, sir. 420 00:32:33,331 --> 00:32:37,961 Released from prison six months ago. 3 27 convictions between them. 421 00:32:38,036 --> 00:32:40,163 Armed robbery, grievous bodily harm... 422 00:32:40,238 --> 00:32:42,672 and combined parking fines of more than 400-- 423 00:32:42,741 --> 00:32:45,301 Uh, yes, all right. Thank you, Bough. I think we get the picture. 424 00:32:46,011 --> 00:32:49,105 The point is, sir, that Vendetta and Klein... 425 00:32:49,180 --> 00:32:52,707 are both in the employ of Monsieur Sauvage. 426 00:32:52,784 --> 00:32:55,947 - Pascal Sauvage? - Precisely, sir. 427 00:32:56,021 --> 00:32:58,888 But you're not suggesting Sauvage is involved? 428 00:32:58,957 --> 00:33:01,152 I think he's more than just involved, sir. 429 00:33:01,226 --> 00:33:03,694 I'm convinced he's up to his French neck in it. 430 00:33:03,762 --> 00:33:07,323 Don't be absurd. Sauvage employs thousands of people. 431 00:33:07,399 --> 00:33:10,027 Just because two of them are villains doesn't mean that he is. 432 00:33:10,068 --> 00:33:13,868 I want him discounted from this investigation immediately. 433 00:33:13,938 --> 00:33:15,929 Yes, sir. 434 00:33:19,311 --> 00:33:24,476 All right. Tonight I shall be at Sauvage's reception for the new French ambassador. 435 00:33:24,549 --> 00:33:26,540 Any developments, you can reach me there. 436 00:33:26,584 --> 00:33:30,987 Apart from that, I don't want you within a hundred miles of the man. 437 00:33:31,056 --> 00:33:33,081 Absolutely, sir. 438 00:33:33,558 --> 00:33:37,255 Requisition order: MI7 quartermasters for immediate supply; 439 00:33:37,329 --> 00:33:41,493 one military transport plane, fully fueled, with permission for nighttime city over flight; 440 00:33:41,566 --> 00:33:46,230 two night camouflage parachutes, plus reserves, plus neoprene bodysuits, twice, in black. 441 00:33:46,304 --> 00:33:48,602 I've never liked the navy blue. 442 00:33:48,673 --> 00:33:51,733 And a 40-inch chest for me 'cause I need the sleeve length. 443 00:33:51,776 --> 00:33:53,676 - Morning, Felch. - Morning. 444 00:33:53,745 --> 00:33:56,236 Oh, and two Special Forces signet rings, 445 00:33:56,314 --> 00:33:58,043 primed and color-coded. 446 00:33:58,083 --> 00:34:00,779 - What's all this for? - For tonight's operation. 447 00:34:00,819 --> 00:34:03,720 We're going to break into Sauvage's headquarters. 448 00:34:03,755 --> 00:34:05,814 - But Pegasus said-- - Let me worry about Pegasus. 449 00:34:05,857 --> 00:34:10,954 I know that Sauvage is behind all this, and tonight we're going to get the evidence. 450 00:34:11,029 --> 00:34:14,465 - Is something wrong, sir? - Did that sound like Felch to you? 451 00:34:43,695 --> 00:34:46,960 [ Whispers ] Bough-- 452 00:35:01,312 --> 00:35:03,678 [ Whispers ] You, upstairs. 453 00:35:15,727 --> 00:35:18,287 [ Grunts, Groans ] 454 00:35:18,363 --> 00:35:20,354 Ow. 455 00:35:52,630 --> 00:35:54,825 Can you see him, Bough? 456 00:35:54,899 --> 00:35:58,130 He's on the upper level, sir. 457 00:36:03,741 --> 00:36:05,732 Got him. 458 00:36:11,950 --> 00:36:16,250 And like a coiled viper... he strikes. 459 00:36:18,923 --> 00:36:21,323 [ Bough Groans ] 460 00:36:25,563 --> 00:36:28,760 So what you're saying, sir, is there must have been two of them? 461 00:36:28,833 --> 00:36:31,165 Oh, at least, Bough. Possibly four. 462 00:36:31,236 --> 00:36:32,726 I wonder why I didn't see them. 463 00:36:32,770 --> 00:36:34,897 You mustn't dwell on your mistakes. 464 00:36:34,939 --> 00:36:39,342 - You must learn from them, then move on. - Yes, sir. 465 00:36:39,410 --> 00:36:43,437 - So where were you, sir? -Just drop it, Bough! 466 00:36:47,519 --> 00:36:51,148 - Aah! What is it, sir? - That bike. 467 00:36:52,657 --> 00:36:55,649 You get things sorted out for tonight. 468 00:37:10,675 --> 00:37:13,610 Well, well, we meet again. 469 00:37:13,678 --> 00:37:16,306 Mr. English. What a pleasant surprise. 470 00:37:16,381 --> 00:37:18,542 I wondered when you might show up again. 471 00:37:18,616 --> 00:37:23,212 On the contrary, Miss Campbell. It is not I who keeps showing up. It's you. 472 00:37:23,288 --> 00:37:25,779 Do you like sushi? 473 00:37:25,857 --> 00:37:27,882 Hmm? 474 00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:33,057 Oh, sushi! I practically live off the stuff. 475 00:37:33,131 --> 00:37:37,067 You might say the mysteries of the Orient are no mystery to me. 476 00:37:46,010 --> 00:37:50,003 - Sake? - Ah. Sake. 477 00:37:50,982 --> 00:37:53,109 [ Speaking Japanese ] Cheers. 478 00:37:53,184 --> 00:37:58,554 May all your daughters be born with three bottoms. 479 00:38:05,597 --> 00:38:08,566 Now then, perhaps you can explain how it is... 480 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,160 that I run into you at two crime scenes... 481 00:38:11,202 --> 00:38:15,639 and then can't find any record of you on a single government computer. 482 00:38:15,707 --> 00:38:18,335 Shouldn't you ask the government that? 483 00:38:18,409 --> 00:38:21,071 I am the government and I'm asking you. 484 00:38:25,083 --> 00:38:26,948 Let me. 485 00:38:28,419 --> 00:38:31,047 Mmm. You're brave. 486 00:38:31,122 --> 00:38:34,319 They say that sea urchin's the ultimate acquired taste. 487 00:38:34,392 --> 00:38:38,226 Hmm. It's a personal favorite of mine. 488 00:38:42,734 --> 00:38:46,568 I think people are put off by how it feeds through its bottom. 489 00:38:46,638 --> 00:38:49,004 Would you excuse me for a moment? 490 00:38:49,073 --> 00:38:52,873 [ Gagging ] 491 00:39:00,885 --> 00:39:03,911 [ Shouting In Japanese ] 492 00:39:08,726 --> 00:39:11,820 Excuse me. Sorry. I'm from MI7. Sorry. I'm a secret agent. 493 00:39:30,848 --> 00:39:33,908 - Everything set, Bough? -Just about, sir. 494 00:39:33,985 --> 00:39:38,285 Actually, sir, do you mind if I run through the plan one more time? 495 00:39:38,356 --> 00:39:40,688 - No, no. - These are the two buildings here. 496 00:39:40,792 --> 00:39:45,422 This one is our target, Sauvage's headquarters, next to City Hospital. 497 00:39:45,496 --> 00:39:48,863 I jump first and land on the south side of the roof, 498 00:39:48,933 --> 00:39:52,232 abseil down 1 4 floors and cut through this window here. 499 00:39:52,303 --> 00:39:56,296 [ English ] I then land on the east side and abseil down 1 2 floors. 500 00:39:56,374 --> 00:39:59,070 Where you wait for my signal that I've disabled the alarm system. 501 00:39:59,110 --> 00:40:01,908 - Yes. - You them break into this window here, 502 00:40:01,946 --> 00:40:05,245 work your way along the secure corridor and penetrate Sauvage's office. 503 00:40:05,316 --> 00:40:07,944 - Yes, yes. - Is that okay, sir? 504 00:40:07,985 --> 00:40:11,546 It's been okay ever since I thought up the idea, Bough. 505 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,986 Oh, I nearly forgot, sir. Your laser beacon. 506 00:40:19,063 --> 00:40:22,123 - My what? - Your laser beacon! 507 00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,930 It'll guide you onto Sauvage's building. 508 00:40:25,002 --> 00:40:28,494 Your dependence on hardware really does amuse me, Bough. 509 00:40:28,573 --> 00:40:31,440 I've been dropped into the Kalahari Desert... 510 00:40:31,509 --> 00:40:36,071 carrying nothing more than a toothbrush and a packet of sherbet lemons, 511 00:40:36,147 --> 00:40:40,481 and I still found my way to Bulawayo before Ramadan. 512 00:40:40,551 --> 00:40:44,544 So thank you, Bough, but no thank you. 513 00:40:47,525 --> 00:40:49,993 - [ Buzzer Sounds ] - Bough, go! 514 00:40:50,061 --> 00:40:52,655 Geronimo! 515 00:41:19,524 --> 00:41:24,257 - [ Buzzer Sounds ] - Fandango! 516 00:41:46,284 --> 00:41:50,812 Ugh.! Ai-yi-yi. 517 00:41:55,893 --> 00:41:58,293 Right. 518 00:42:13,845 --> 00:42:17,406 - [ Beeps ] - Alarm's disabled, sir. 519 00:42:17,481 --> 00:42:19,472 Roger that, Bough. 520 00:42:21,519 --> 00:42:24,511 [ Grunts, Groans ] 521 00:42:57,021 --> 00:43:00,047 This is worse than I thought, Bough. 522 00:43:00,124 --> 00:43:04,322 Sauvage has got some kind of laboratory set up here. 523 00:43:04,395 --> 00:43:07,592 God knows what kind of sick operation he's running. 524 00:43:07,665 --> 00:43:09,656 [ Door Opens ] 525 00:43:20,678 --> 00:43:23,511 My God, what have they done to you? 526 00:43:23,581 --> 00:43:26,914 They've taken some of my blood. 527 00:43:27,018 --> 00:43:30,579 - Bastards! - It's only for tests. 528 00:43:30,655 --> 00:43:33,522 Of course it is. Come on, my friend. 529 00:43:33,591 --> 00:43:36,822 Let's get you out ofhere before they take anything else. 530 00:43:38,496 --> 00:43:40,760 [ Groaning ] 531 00:43:45,069 --> 00:43:49,301 Ah! Good evening, Dr. Frankenstein. 532 00:43:49,373 --> 00:43:51,500 This way, please. 533 00:43:51,575 --> 00:43:54,476 Come on. I haven't got all night. 534 00:43:54,545 --> 00:43:57,537 And you, you angels of death. 535 00:43:57,615 --> 00:44:00,379 About turn. Come on, let's go. 536 00:44:00,451 --> 00:44:02,817 Come on, come on. Keep moving. 537 00:44:02,887 --> 00:44:06,448 Come on. Over there. I know what you're doing here. And you. 538 00:44:06,524 --> 00:44:09,721 Come on. Quicker. Quicker. Over there. 539 00:44:11,195 --> 00:44:13,595 Now then, 540 00:44:13,631 --> 00:44:17,294 perhaps you could direct me to your evil paymaster. 541 00:44:17,368 --> 00:44:21,896 - What are you talking about? - You know exactly what I'm talking about. 542 00:44:21,973 --> 00:44:26,034 Where is the office of Pascal Sauvage? 543 00:44:50,968 --> 00:44:54,096 Are you coming over here in a minute, sir? 544 00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:58,271 I'm from MI7. 545 00:44:58,342 --> 00:45:01,334 This has been a test of your emergency response systems, 546 00:45:01,412 --> 00:45:04,677 and I have to say you've all done extremely well. 547 00:45:04,749 --> 00:45:06,876 Right. Well, I'll leave you to it. 548 00:45:06,917 --> 00:45:10,148 And, uh, get well soon. 549 00:45:15,693 --> 00:45:19,993 Oh, God! 550 00:45:38,716 --> 00:45:41,048 Sir. Sir. 551 00:45:45,356 --> 00:45:47,824 [ Exhales ] 552 00:45:47,892 --> 00:45:51,328 Did you just land on the wrong building? 553 00:45:51,395 --> 00:45:55,331 I did a precautionary sweep of the immediate environment. 554 00:45:55,399 --> 00:45:57,492 Right. 555 00:45:58,702 --> 00:46:01,170 - And everything was fine. - Good. 556 00:46:01,238 --> 00:46:03,468 Okay, let's go. 557 00:46:07,411 --> 00:46:12,041 I will be downstairs at the reception-- 558 00:46:20,224 --> 00:46:24,183 - That's far enough. - Well, good evening. 559 00:46:24,261 --> 00:46:27,492 - Perhaps you'd like this as well. - What is it? 560 00:46:27,565 --> 00:46:30,432 - Let me show you. - Aah! 561 00:46:30,501 --> 00:46:33,026 Well executed, Bough, but completely redundant. 562 00:46:33,104 --> 00:46:36,335 - How do you mean, sir? - Super-strength muscle relaxant. 563 00:46:36,407 --> 00:46:39,865 When he wakes up, he'll be as floppy as a damp old sock. 564 00:46:41,612 --> 00:46:44,547 [ Men Conversing, Indistinct ] 565 00:46:46,050 --> 00:46:47,915 What's this? 566 00:47:02,566 --> 00:47:06,195 That's the face of the archbishop of Canterbury. 567 00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:12,273 [ English ] What are they doing? 568 00:47:15,980 --> 00:47:19,643 [ English ] What's this got to do with the Crown Jewels? 569 00:47:41,605 --> 00:47:43,664 Bough. 570 00:47:58,088 --> 00:48:01,285 [ Beep, Whirring ] 571 00:48:01,358 --> 00:48:03,417 [ Bough ] English. 572 00:48:03,494 --> 00:48:05,758 A people whose empire once covered... 573 00:48:05,796 --> 00:48:09,630 one quarter of the surface of the earth. 574 00:48:09,667 --> 00:48:12,397 Alas, no longer. 575 00:48:12,469 --> 00:48:15,768 My friends ask me, ''Pascal, how can you be so interested... 576 00:48:15,839 --> 00:48:19,468 in such a backward, grotty little country?'' 577 00:48:19,510 --> 00:48:23,037 My answer is simple: the queen. 578 00:48:23,113 --> 00:48:27,072 The queen has more power in her tiny white gloves... 579 00:48:27,151 --> 00:48:30,746 than any other head of state in the entire world. 580 00:48:30,821 --> 00:48:33,221 She can declare war or make peace, 581 00:48:33,290 --> 00:48:35,656 and most intriguingly... 582 00:48:35,726 --> 00:48:40,629 she can seize any piece of land which takes her fancy. 583 00:48:40,698 --> 00:48:43,462 Of course, the queen never uses... 584 00:48:43,500 --> 00:48:47,459 the enormous power afforded to her. 585 00:48:47,538 --> 00:48:52,237 But imagine someone who would use that power. 586 00:48:52,343 --> 00:48:56,006 Imagine, say, me. 587 00:48:56,080 --> 00:49:00,312 But how could he do that, sir? How could he make himself king? 588 00:49:00,384 --> 00:49:02,579 The archbishop. 589 00:49:02,653 --> 00:49:05,178 - [ Sauvage Continues, Indistinct ] - [ Door Opens ] 590 00:49:12,229 --> 00:49:14,322 Ow. 591 00:49:15,599 --> 00:49:19,262 Hands up. There's a good fellow. 592 00:49:19,336 --> 00:49:21,167 Heavily armed for a late night at the office. 593 00:49:21,238 --> 00:49:25,766 You fool, English. You'll never get out of the building alive. 594 00:49:25,843 --> 00:49:28,141 I'd save your breath for my questioning. 595 00:49:28,212 --> 00:49:30,180 I'm not telling you anything. 596 00:49:30,247 --> 00:49:32,010 Incorrect. 597 00:49:33,284 --> 00:49:35,218 Sodium pentothal. 598 00:49:35,286 --> 00:49:38,847 - I won't lie to you. It's a truth serum. - [ Groans ] 599 00:49:38,922 --> 00:49:43,655 Now then, why does Sauvage want to have himself crowned? 600 00:49:43,727 --> 00:49:47,060 You have no idea what's going on here, do you? 601 00:49:47,131 --> 00:49:50,294 [ Chuckles ] It would be funny if it wasn't so ''pablibblit.'' 602 00:49:50,367 --> 00:49:51,732 What? 603 00:49:51,802 --> 00:49:56,136 [ Mumbling Gibberish ] 604 00:49:58,609 --> 00:50:01,077 - He's talking gibberish, sir. - I can hear that. 605 00:50:01,145 --> 00:50:03,136 [ Groans ] 606 00:50:03,247 --> 00:50:06,239 - He's collapsed onto me, sir. - I can see that. 607 00:50:06,317 --> 00:50:09,753 - You don't think you could've got the syringes mixed up? - What? 608 00:50:09,820 --> 00:50:12,812 Given the guard outside truth serum and given Klein the muscle relaxant? 609 00:50:12,890 --> 00:50:14,881 Aah! 610 00:50:14,958 --> 00:50:19,486 Don't be ridiculous, Bough. I think I know my right from my left. 611 00:50:19,563 --> 00:50:22,657 - Sir? - Oh, bugger it. 612 00:50:24,268 --> 00:50:26,327 Bough, take ''flodd.'' 613 00:50:26,403 --> 00:50:30,533 - Take what, sir? - ''Flodd.'' ''Schlage.'' 614 00:50:30,607 --> 00:50:34,099 - I'm not quite getting that second word, sir. - ''Schlaaaagh!'' 615 00:50:34,178 --> 00:50:36,203 - Write it down, sir. - ''Schlaaaagh!'' 616 00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:39,408 Yes! [ Muttering Gibberish ] 617 00:50:40,751 --> 00:50:43,345 ''C.'' C-A-- Uh-- 618 00:50:43,420 --> 00:50:47,356 Car! Take the car! We came by plane. 619 00:50:47,424 --> 00:50:50,291 [ Muttering Gibberish ] Bugger off!. 620 00:50:50,361 --> 00:50:52,693 - Hold it right there. - [ Groans ] 621 00:50:52,763 --> 00:50:56,290 - What's wrong with them? - I'm not telling you. 622 00:50:56,367 --> 00:50:59,302 Wrong answer. 623 00:50:59,370 --> 00:51:01,634 What is it with you two? 624 00:51:01,705 --> 00:51:04,037 Huh? [ Groaning ] 625 00:51:05,476 --> 00:51:07,205 Let's get outta here. 626 00:51:07,277 --> 00:51:09,268 Sorry, but who are you, exactly? 627 00:51:09,346 --> 00:51:12,076 Special Agent Campbell. I'm attached to Interpol in Paris. 628 00:51:12,149 --> 00:51:14,447 We've been watching Sauvage for months. 629 00:51:14,518 --> 00:51:16,543 Why? 630 00:51:16,620 --> 00:51:19,817 Because every major convict released from a Sauvage prison in six months... 631 00:51:19,890 --> 00:51:22,154 has been employed by one of his companies. 632 00:51:22,226 --> 00:51:24,717 We believe he's recruiting them for a major criminal conspiracy. 633 00:51:24,795 --> 00:51:27,491 - We just don't know what yet. - [ English Mumbles Gibberish ] 634 00:51:28,866 --> 00:51:31,164 - What did he say? - Pegasus! 635 00:51:31,235 --> 00:51:33,635 We have to report to Pegasus! 636 00:51:33,704 --> 00:51:35,763 Oh, no, sir. No, no, no. 637 00:51:35,839 --> 00:51:38,967 - How do we get out of here? - Hey, you two! 638 00:51:39,042 --> 00:51:41,840 What you did to me really hurt. 639 00:51:41,912 --> 00:51:46,349 Yeah. Sorry about that. How do we get out of here without being seen? 640 00:51:46,417 --> 00:51:49,250 Okay. 641 00:51:49,319 --> 00:51:53,187 Left by the fountain, right by the fire exit, to the elevator at the end. 642 00:51:53,257 --> 00:51:55,691 - Thank you. - Oh, my God. 643 00:51:55,759 --> 00:51:57,522 Nice job, Bough. 644 00:51:57,594 --> 00:52:00,529 - Left, sir. Left! - [ English Muttering ] 645 00:52:00,597 --> 00:52:03,691 [ Bough ] Sir,you can't go to Sauvage's reception in this state. 646 00:52:03,767 --> 00:52:06,702 The effect of the drug has practically worn off. 647 00:52:06,770 --> 00:52:08,761 I'm ''fline''-- 648 00:52:08,839 --> 00:52:11,103 ''schline''-- uh, ''gline''-- 649 00:52:11,175 --> 00:52:13,939 **[ Orchestra ] 650 00:52:21,218 --> 00:52:23,778 - Monsieur. - Ah. Thank you. 651 00:52:23,854 --> 00:52:25,913 [ Glass Shatters ] 652 00:52:27,891 --> 00:52:30,189 - Would you like another? - Please. 653 00:52:36,567 --> 00:52:38,398 Thank you. 654 00:52:41,705 --> 00:52:43,696 [ Groans ] 655 00:52:43,774 --> 00:52:45,969 What in God's name-- 656 00:52:46,043 --> 00:52:48,068 Ah, Foreign ''Sebretarary.'' 657 00:52:48,145 --> 00:52:50,705 Um-- [ Moans ] 658 00:52:51,448 --> 00:52:52,710 Aah! 659 00:52:52,783 --> 00:52:56,150 - **[ Up-tempo ] - Shall we dance? 660 00:53:37,861 --> 00:53:40,421 [ Groans ] 661 00:53:46,103 --> 00:53:49,197 Excuse me, sir. I'm very sorry to interrupt-- 662 00:53:49,273 --> 00:53:51,400 Pascal, how nice to see you again. 663 00:53:51,475 --> 00:53:54,103 - Enjoying the party? - Oh, splendid affair. 664 00:53:54,177 --> 00:53:59,308 I was until I was informed that your man English... 665 00:53:59,383 --> 00:54:02,375 and his curious boyfriend here have spent the evening... 666 00:54:02,452 --> 00:54:05,979 breaking into my office and assaulting my staff. 667 00:54:06,056 --> 00:54:09,355 - Is this true, Bough? - Well, we-- we-- 668 00:54:19,803 --> 00:54:22,101 What do you think you're up to? 669 00:54:22,172 --> 00:54:25,073 - Sir, if I could just offer-- - Go home, Bough! 670 00:54:25,142 --> 00:54:26,973 Now! 671 00:54:27,044 --> 00:54:29,672 I gave you direct orders not to meddle with Sauvage. 672 00:54:29,746 --> 00:54:33,204 What do you do? Break into his office and assault two of his staff. 673 00:54:33,317 --> 00:54:37,754 Then you march in here, loaded with God knows what, and insult the foreign secretary. 674 00:54:37,821 --> 00:54:40,654 I haven't encountered such behavior in Whitehall in 30 years. 675 00:54:40,724 --> 00:54:43,659 - But-- - There are no ''buts,'' English. 676 00:54:43,727 --> 00:54:47,356 You're off the case. Your security clearance is hereby canceled. 677 00:54:47,431 --> 00:54:50,832 After a three-month leave of absence, you will return at your old grade. 678 00:54:50,901 --> 00:54:54,029 And I hope never to hear your name again. 679 00:55:18,729 --> 00:55:21,357 [ Thunder Rumbling ] 680 00:55:46,823 --> 00:55:49,257 [ Sauvage ] English has seen too much. 681 00:55:49,326 --> 00:55:51,851 We go to plan ''B.'' 682 00:55:51,928 --> 00:55:54,362 Get rid of the fake archbishop... 683 00:55:54,431 --> 00:55:57,366 and green-light the visit to Her Majesty. 684 00:55:57,434 --> 00:56:01,268 Then this pathetic country can humiliate itself... 685 00:56:01,505 --> 00:56:03,996 by crowning me officially. 686 00:56:15,686 --> 00:56:19,952 THE QUEEN'S RESI DENCE AT SANDRI NGHAM 687 00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:32,225 That's a letter of abdication... 688 00:56:32,302 --> 00:56:34,293 renouncing your claims to the throne... 689 00:56:34,371 --> 00:56:37,465 and the claims of your entire family. 690 00:56:37,541 --> 00:56:39,532 Sign it. 691 00:56:47,617 --> 00:56:49,676 Never. 692 00:56:50,987 --> 00:56:53,285 [ Yelps ] 693 00:56:53,356 --> 00:56:55,847 - [ Gun Cocks ] - [ Whimpers ] 694 00:56:59,029 --> 00:57:00,758 [ Dog Barks ] 695 00:57:00,831 --> 00:57:04,392 - [ Rings ] - Yes? 696 00:57:04,501 --> 00:57:07,902 Prime Minister, sorry to call so late, but I'm afraid the queen is abdicating. 697 00:57:07,938 --> 00:57:09,405 What? 698 00:57:09,473 --> 00:57:13,910 Abdicated? But that's not possible. 699 00:57:13,977 --> 00:57:16,172 I only wish that were true. 700 00:57:16,246 --> 00:57:20,410 - Let me talk to her. Maybe she just-- - Pascal, she's gone. 701 00:57:20,484 --> 00:57:23,214 My people have spent the last 1 0 hours... 702 00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:25,788 trying to track down the rightful heir to the throne... 703 00:57:25,822 --> 00:57:30,259 and they've come up with a name, which they've double-checked. 704 00:57:30,327 --> 00:57:32,818 Who is it? 705 00:57:32,896 --> 00:57:36,024 - It's you. - No! 706 00:57:37,601 --> 00:57:40,331 ** [ Whistling ] 707 00:57:40,403 --> 00:57:43,463 [ Radio Announcer ] In the wake of the return of the Crown Jewels... 708 00:57:43,540 --> 00:57:45,599 to a police station in North London, 709 00:57:45,675 --> 00:57:48,439 Pascal Sauvage has requested that his coronation... 710 00:57:48,512 --> 00:57:51,037 take place this Thursday. 711 00:57:51,114 --> 00:57:54,481 In the House, the prime minister said he was looking forward to the ceremony... 712 00:57:54,518 --> 00:57:57,715 and he believed that Monsieur Sauvage will make a fine king... 713 00:57:57,788 --> 00:58:02,657 and will bring all that is best about modern Europe to our ancient institutions. 714 00:58:02,726 --> 00:58:05,126 [ Doorbell Ringing ] 715 00:58:10,133 --> 00:58:12,829 Get your car keys. We've got work to do. 716 00:58:12,903 --> 00:58:16,066 - Miss Campbell. - Sauvage is heading back to France. 717 00:58:16,139 --> 00:58:20,838 He's invited 1 3 of the richest criminal masterminds in the world to meet him there. 718 00:58:20,911 --> 00:58:23,937 I'm sorry, Miss Campbell. I'm off the case. 719 00:58:24,648 --> 00:58:26,047 It's been reassigned. 720 00:58:26,116 --> 00:58:28,778 I know. Reassigned to me. 721 00:58:32,455 --> 00:58:35,151 - I want you with me. -Just leave me alone. 722 00:58:35,258 --> 00:58:39,058 Are you gonna sit here in this grotty flat feeling sorry for yourself? 723 00:58:39,129 --> 00:58:42,394 Or are you gonna get out there and save your country? 724 00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:45,932 I'm gonna sit in the flat. 725 00:58:46,002 --> 00:58:50,098 -Johnny, this is ridiculous. - I'm a spent force. 726 00:58:51,842 --> 00:58:54,675 Spent, my ass. 727 00:58:59,583 --> 00:59:01,414 Ow. 728 00:59:02,652 --> 00:59:05,143 Will... you... please... stop? 729 00:59:15,866 --> 00:59:18,027 [ Groans ] 730 00:59:18,101 --> 00:59:20,160 I'll just be a minute. 731 00:59:39,222 --> 00:59:42,487 NORTHERN FRANCE 732 01:00:05,382 --> 01:00:09,079 It'll be nightfall in an hour. Then we can strike out for the chateau. 733 01:00:09,152 --> 01:00:12,417 The fact is, the moment Sauvage gets that crown on his head, 734 01:00:12,489 --> 01:00:15,754 he'll be able to do whatever he likes with the country that I love, 735 01:00:15,825 --> 01:00:18,555 and that is why you and I have got to stop him. 736 01:00:20,363 --> 01:00:24,026 - Relishing the thought? - Something like that. 737 01:00:27,003 --> 01:00:30,734 I suppose you've made love to lots of women, haven't you,Johnny? 738 01:00:32,509 --> 01:00:37,276 Uh-- Uh, well, you know, 739 01:00:37,347 --> 01:00:40,043 one does one's best. 740 01:00:41,518 --> 01:00:43,349 It's just-- 741 01:00:43,420 --> 01:00:48,483 Well, it's been three years since my fiancé left me, 742 01:00:48,558 --> 01:00:52,392 and since then I haven't made love to anyone. 743 01:00:52,462 --> 01:00:54,396 But then I met you... 744 01:00:55,699 --> 01:00:58,691 and I felt this... hunger... 745 01:00:58,768 --> 01:01:00,793 deep down inside. 746 01:01:00,837 --> 01:01:05,297 I wanted to say things to you, I wanted to do things to you... 747 01:01:05,408 --> 01:01:09,936 that I haven't wanted to do in a very, very, very long time. 748 01:01:11,281 --> 01:01:13,875 [ Gulps ] 749 01:01:13,950 --> 01:01:16,851 What, uh-- 750 01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:19,821 What sort of things are we talking about? 751 01:01:19,889 --> 01:01:22,824 Things like punching you in the face, 752 01:01:22,892 --> 01:01:26,259 kicking you in the backside for being such a pompous, know-nothing asshole. 753 01:01:26,329 --> 01:01:30,663 But then I started to see beyond the idiot that everybody else saw. 754 01:01:30,734 --> 01:01:33,760 I started to see the man on the inside... 755 01:01:33,837 --> 01:01:38,001 who was determined to do his duty, no matter what or who lay in his way. 756 01:01:38,074 --> 01:01:42,033 And I began to feel other things for him, 757 01:01:42,112 --> 01:01:46,947 to want to do other things for him. 758 01:01:47,017 --> 01:01:49,508 Things... 759 01:01:49,586 --> 01:01:53,386 involving plastic toys and soft cheese? 760 01:01:53,456 --> 01:01:58,189 - What? [ Scoffs ] - What? What? 761 01:01:58,261 --> 01:02:02,721 You're toying with me. You're telling me to stop in the gentlest way you know how. 762 01:02:02,799 --> 01:02:04,892 No. N-N-No-- 763 01:02:04,968 --> 01:02:06,629 You're such a special person... 764 01:02:06,703 --> 01:02:09,934 not to take advantage of me while I'm vulnerable. 765 01:02:10,006 --> 01:02:12,566 - N-No-- Well-- - So thank you... 766 01:02:12,642 --> 01:02:14,940 for being such a gentleman. 767 01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:19,778 Not at all. 768 01:02:41,304 --> 01:02:44,671 I know what you're thinking, Miss Campbell. 769 01:02:44,741 --> 01:02:47,608 If we don't pull this off, God knows what might happen to England. 770 01:02:47,677 --> 01:02:51,078 Actually, I was thinking there must be a better way in than that pipe. 771 01:02:52,215 --> 01:02:53,705 Well, there isn't. 772 01:02:53,750 --> 01:02:57,481 I've analyzed it from every angle, and this is the best option. 773 01:02:57,554 --> 01:03:01,354 I'll go in first, and if it's a clear way through, I'll call down. 774 01:03:03,026 --> 01:03:05,153 Johnny. 775 01:03:05,228 --> 01:03:08,527 - Be careful. - I'm always careful. 776 01:03:08,598 --> 01:03:10,498 Ohh. 777 01:03:39,395 --> 01:03:42,523 [ Gagging, Coughing ] 778 01:03:45,201 --> 01:03:47,362 [ Fart ] 779 01:03:54,711 --> 01:03:57,805 [ Toilets Flushing ] 780 01:03:59,883 --> 01:04:02,852 - [ Tapping On Glass ] - Gentlemen. 781 01:04:02,886 --> 01:04:04,786 In a few hours time... 782 01:04:04,821 --> 01:04:08,154 I will become the next king of England. 783 01:04:25,675 --> 01:04:28,166 [ Whispers ] Oh, no. 784 01:04:43,493 --> 01:04:45,518 Hyah-- [ Gagging, Coughing ] 785 01:04:45,595 --> 01:04:48,462 - How did you get here? - Up the ladder. 786 01:04:48,531 --> 01:04:51,091 Pull yourself together. It's only a bit of poo. 787 01:04:55,305 --> 01:04:58,468 Oh! Oh, it's cold! It's cold! 788 01:04:58,875 --> 01:05:00,706 What is the one commodity... 789 01:05:00,777 --> 01:05:05,646 the world never seems to run out of? 790 01:05:05,715 --> 01:05:07,876 Criminals, gentlemen. 791 01:05:07,951 --> 01:05:10,249 - [ Guests Murmuring ] - Lawbreakers. 792 01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:14,086 Every nation in the world struggles... 793 01:05:14,157 --> 01:05:16,921 with the issue of overcrowded prisons. 794 01:05:16,993 --> 01:05:22,329 So, what do we do with all these villains? 795 01:05:22,398 --> 01:05:25,458 Find the solution to that problem... 796 01:05:25,535 --> 01:05:29,904 and the governments of the world would pay you through their nose. 797 01:05:30,907 --> 01:05:34,070 Fortunately, I have found a solution. 798 01:05:36,346 --> 01:05:40,442 We empty every prison on the entire planet, 799 01:05:40,516 --> 01:05:45,579 we take the resulting tidal wave ofhuman scum... 800 01:05:45,655 --> 01:05:48,317 and we put it here. 801 01:05:48,391 --> 01:05:50,552 [ Gasping, Murmuring ] 802 01:05:51,861 --> 01:05:55,353 The moment I am crowned king, 803 01:05:55,431 --> 01:05:58,161 I will turn England into the largest prison... 804 01:05:58,234 --> 01:06:01,101 in the history of the world. 805 01:06:02,372 --> 01:06:06,035 2 1 0,000 square miles... 806 01:06:06,109 --> 01:06:08,304 of prime real estate... 807 01:06:08,378 --> 01:06:12,109 conveniently separated from true civilization... 808 01:06:12,181 --> 01:06:14,445 by 20 miles of ocean... 809 01:06:14,517 --> 01:06:16,781 - and soon to be available... - Come on. 810 01:06:16,853 --> 01:06:22,814 for the entire world to dump its human waste in. 811 01:06:22,892 --> 01:06:24,985 According to current projections, 812 01:06:25,061 --> 01:06:31,000 we will not run out of prison space for the next 500 years. 813 01:06:31,067 --> 01:06:35,163 So, tonight one, and only one, of you... 814 01:06:35,238 --> 01:06:40,335 will leave here owning 49 percent... 815 01:06:40,410 --> 01:06:42,844 of this venture. 816 01:06:42,912 --> 01:06:47,849 So that's his little game. We must get hold of that DVD. 817 01:06:47,917 --> 01:06:51,045 But how,Johnny? There's only two of us. 818 01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:53,384 You're young, Miss Campbell, and inexperienced. 819 01:06:53,456 --> 01:06:55,822 What you seem to have forgotten is that... 820 01:06:55,892 --> 01:06:59,350 [ Over P.A. Speaker ] nobody knows we are here. 821 01:06:59,429 --> 01:07:02,921 At our disposal we have the vital element of surprise. 822 01:07:02,999 --> 01:07:06,093 Now, my plan is simple but effective. 823 01:07:06,169 --> 01:07:10,765 I shall drop from the gallery at this end of the room and take Sauvage prisoner. 824 01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:15,470 You will then enter from the far door, cutting off any means of escape. 825 01:07:15,578 --> 01:07:21,016 Then, using Sauvage as a hostage, we'll get the hell out ofhere. Clear? 826 01:07:28,524 --> 01:07:30,856 Get 'em up, you French ponce. 827 01:07:30,927 --> 01:07:35,455 But, Mr. English, I'm gobsmacked! 828 01:07:35,531 --> 01:07:38,056 What an unexpected surprise. 829 01:07:38,134 --> 01:07:41,763 Surprises are very much my speciality, Sauvage. 830 01:07:43,005 --> 01:07:45,803 I think we've seen enough of this. 831 01:07:45,875 --> 01:07:52,747 I know exactly what you're planning, and I'm here to put a stop to it. 832 01:07:52,815 --> 01:07:57,582 My bottom will be king of England before you are. 833 01:07:57,653 --> 01:07:59,644 Wrong again. 834 01:07:59,722 --> 01:08:02,953 Perhaps you'd care to look behind you. 835 01:08:03,025 --> 01:08:05,391 Oh, please. 836 01:08:05,461 --> 01:08:08,430 [ Weapons Cock ] 837 01:08:08,498 --> 01:08:10,557 Lorna! 838 01:08:13,369 --> 01:08:15,462 I'm sorry,Johnny. 839 01:08:15,538 --> 01:08:19,474 Well, I'm afraid that we'll have to... 840 01:08:19,542 --> 01:08:22,272 conclude the floor show for tonight. 841 01:08:22,345 --> 01:08:24,176 Not so fast, Sauvage. 842 01:08:24,247 --> 01:08:28,775 You may have taken me, but you'll never take England. 843 01:08:28,851 --> 01:08:31,649 Not as long as I have breath in my body... 844 01:08:31,721 --> 01:08:34,019 or a bullet in my gun. 845 01:08:34,090 --> 01:08:36,183 [ Click ] 846 01:08:43,166 --> 01:08:47,830 You know, Mr. English, I'm going to miss you. Really. 847 01:08:47,904 --> 01:08:50,168 You're very entertaining. I thank you. 848 01:08:50,239 --> 01:08:51,900 Take them away. 849 01:08:56,579 --> 01:08:58,342 [ Radio Announcer ] Good morning, everybody, 850 01:08:58,414 --> 01:09:00,609 and welcome to the breakfast show. 851 01:09:00,683 --> 01:09:02,878 [ Speaking French ] 852 01:09:02,952 --> 01:09:06,217 As the crowds are gathering here for the crowning of our first French king... 853 01:09:06,289 --> 01:09:08,450 since the year 1 066, 854 01:09:08,524 --> 01:09:13,484 call here at London FM with the top ten things you most love about the French. 855 01:09:13,563 --> 01:09:16,225 We haven't had any calls yet, uh, at all, 856 01:09:16,265 --> 01:09:20,668 but the lines are still open and I'll give you that number again-- 857 01:09:20,736 --> 01:09:23,864 0-2-0-7-- zero, deux, zero, sept-- 858 01:09:26,542 --> 01:09:28,737 This is not good, Johnny. 859 01:09:28,811 --> 01:09:30,972 We've got to think of something. 860 01:09:32,748 --> 01:09:36,013 [Johnny ] Wait a minute. I've got an idea. 861 01:09:36,085 --> 01:09:37,712 Hop! Hop! 862 01:09:37,787 --> 01:09:41,553 And hop! And hop! And stop! 863 01:09:41,624 --> 01:09:44,092 Now, are you familiar... 864 01:09:44,160 --> 01:09:47,891 with the shaman throat warblers of the Guatemalan delta? 865 01:09:47,964 --> 01:09:49,363 What? 866 01:09:49,432 --> 01:09:51,423 It has long been their belief... 867 01:09:51,501 --> 01:09:55,562 that a whistle pitched at the precise resonant frequency of a metal lock... 868 01:09:55,638 --> 01:10:00,075 will vibrate the levers in such a way that the door will simply swing open. 869 01:10:00,109 --> 01:10:01,701 Unbelievable. 870 01:10:01,777 --> 01:10:04,746 - And kneel. - [ Groaning ] 871 01:10:07,683 --> 01:10:10,618 Right. Here goes. 872 01:10:10,686 --> 01:10:13,917 [ Whistle: Ascending Tone ] 873 01:10:13,990 --> 01:10:16,857 - [ Sighs ] - [ Whistle Continues ] 874 01:10:16,959 --> 01:10:19,086 [ Tone Goes Silent ] 875 01:10:22,031 --> 01:10:26,365 - I can't hear anything. - I'm into ultrasonic. 876 01:10:26,435 --> 01:10:29,370 Will you just stop all this and face facts? 877 01:10:29,438 --> 01:10:33,169 We've failed. The only thing that can save us now is a miracle. 878 01:10:37,647 --> 01:10:39,979 - [ Rasping Tone ] - [ Lock Clicks ] 879 01:10:40,049 --> 01:10:41,744 It worked! 880 01:10:41,817 --> 01:10:44,547 - Ohh! - Sir? 881 01:10:52,795 --> 01:10:55,821 I don't know why you hauled yourself up that dreadful poo tube, Bough, 882 01:10:55,898 --> 01:10:59,732 when there was a perfectly good ladder right beside it. 883 01:10:59,802 --> 01:11:02,236 Now, Sauvage may have fooled the country... 884 01:11:02,305 --> 01:11:05,069 with his fake archbishop and his secret agenda, 885 01:11:05,141 --> 01:11:07,507 but he hasn't fooled me. 886 01:11:08,244 --> 01:11:11,475 - So, here's the plan. - [ Gasps ] 887 01:11:38,741 --> 01:11:42,404 **[ Orchestra, Chorus. Majestic ] 888 01:12:06,636 --> 01:12:10,732 *Let all good people rejoice * 889 01:12:11,807 --> 01:12:13,798 [ Chorus ] *Rejoice * 890 01:12:15,111 --> 01:12:17,477 - *Rejoice * - Aaah! 891 01:12:17,546 --> 01:12:21,448 *Let all good people rejoice * 892 01:12:23,419 --> 01:12:25,717 *Rejoice * 893 01:12:25,788 --> 01:12:27,255 *Rejoice * 894 01:12:28,391 --> 01:12:30,882 *Rejoice * 895 01:12:30,960 --> 01:12:33,485 *Rejoice * 896 01:12:33,596 --> 01:12:36,156 *Rejoice * 897 01:12:36,232 --> 01:12:41,636 *And sing ** 898 01:12:41,671 --> 01:12:46,370 Sirs, you are hereby called to witness the anointing... 899 01:12:46,442 --> 01:12:52,745 of your one true lord and future king Pascal. 900 01:12:52,815 --> 01:12:56,876 Pascal, are you willing to take the oath? 901 01:12:56,952 --> 01:12:59,580 I am willing. 902 01:12:59,622 --> 01:13:03,956 Then be thou anointed... 903 01:13:04,026 --> 01:13:07,860 with this holy oil. 904 01:13:08,364 --> 01:13:14,564 And do you, the chosen bishops of England, Scotland and Wales, 905 01:13:14,637 --> 01:13:17,470 ascent to this anointing? 906 01:13:17,540 --> 01:13:20,100 For Scotland, I do. 907 01:13:20,176 --> 01:13:21,871 For Wales, I do. 908 01:13:22,812 --> 01:13:25,872 For England, I do not! 909 01:13:25,948 --> 01:13:29,679 -[ Congregation Gasping, Murmuring ] - English! 910 01:13:31,987 --> 01:13:36,651 That man must not be crowned king because he is... 911 01:13:36,726 --> 01:13:39,559 a fraudster, a charlatan and a thief. 912 01:13:39,628 --> 01:13:43,223 No, please. Let him speak. 913 01:13:45,067 --> 01:13:48,093 It is this man, Pascal Sauvage, 914 01:13:48,170 --> 01:13:51,401 who stole the Crown Jewels, 915 01:13:51,474 --> 01:13:53,669 who forced the queen to abdicate... 916 01:13:53,743 --> 01:13:57,679 and who would kill anyone who got in his way. 917 01:13:57,747 --> 01:13:59,738 It is the end, Herr English. 918 01:13:59,815 --> 01:14:01,339 [ Yells ] 919 01:14:01,417 --> 01:14:04,944 [ English ] He has cheated, conned and manipulated... 920 01:14:05,020 --> 01:14:07,784 this great country for his own ends. 921 01:14:07,857 --> 01:14:10,189 He's fooled you all.! 922 01:14:12,194 --> 01:14:15,652 What's more, this whole ceremony is a sham... 923 01:14:15,731 --> 01:14:19,326 because that man standing in front of you... 924 01:14:19,401 --> 01:14:22,598 is not the archbishop of Canterbury. 925 01:14:22,671 --> 01:14:24,969 [ Congregation Gasps ] 926 01:14:25,040 --> 01:14:28,874 English, a word of advice. Don't go there. 927 01:14:28,944 --> 01:14:33,506 Shut it, Frenchy. I'll go wherever I damn well please. 928 01:14:33,582 --> 01:14:37,109 - Now take it off. - What? 929 01:14:37,186 --> 01:14:40,553 Your face is made of plastic. 930 01:14:42,224 --> 01:14:44,192 Remove it at once. 931 01:14:44,260 --> 01:14:46,785 I have no idea what you're talking about. 932 01:14:46,862 --> 01:14:50,889 Right. I'll just have to remove it myself. 933 01:14:50,966 --> 01:14:55,198 Come on.! [ Grunting, Muttering ] 934 01:14:55,271 --> 01:14:58,570 - Maybe it pulls up from the front. -[ Archbishop Groaning ] 935 01:14:58,641 --> 01:15:01,109 Come on, you! 936 01:15:16,458 --> 01:15:18,983 - Aaah! - Thank you very much. 937 01:15:20,796 --> 01:15:22,855 Must be a join here somewhere. 938 01:15:22,932 --> 01:15:25,867 Fascinating performance as always, Monsieur English, 939 01:15:25,935 --> 01:15:28,563 but I'm afraid we must move on. 940 01:15:28,637 --> 01:15:33,040 Nobody's moving anywhere until I'm finished with this piece of low-life. 941 01:15:33,108 --> 01:15:36,168 Do you or do you you not... 942 01:15:36,245 --> 01:15:39,442 have tattooed on your bottom the words, 943 01:15:39,515 --> 01:15:42,575 ''Jesus is coming-- look busy''? 944 01:15:42,651 --> 01:15:46,712 -[ Congregation Murmuring ] - Are you insane? 945 01:15:46,789 --> 01:15:49,053 Well, let's find out, shall we? 946 01:15:49,124 --> 01:15:51,786 Go on, over. Let's have a look. 947 01:15:55,364 --> 01:15:58,856 [ Screaming, Gasping ] 948 01:16:00,936 --> 01:16:03,268 - [ Laughing Hysterically ] - Excellent! 949 01:16:12,548 --> 01:16:16,644 All right, so I was wrong about the archbishop's bottom. 950 01:16:17,953 --> 01:16:21,252 - But there's more. - But not, I'm afraid, today. 951 01:16:21,323 --> 01:16:23,791 Sergeant, please take this man away. 952 01:16:23,859 --> 01:16:27,590 - But be gentle with him. - Do you think that's it? 953 01:16:27,663 --> 01:16:30,097 You think I don't have more evidence? 954 01:16:30,165 --> 01:16:33,623 My loyal subordinate is standing by with a DVD... 955 01:16:33,702 --> 01:16:37,331 which shows Sauvage's hideous plans for this country. 956 01:16:37,406 --> 01:16:39,636 Get him out! Get him out of here! 957 01:16:39,708 --> 01:16:43,576 - Play it, Bough! Play the disk! - Play it! Now! 958 01:16:44,813 --> 01:16:48,977 **[ Upbeat Pop ] 959 01:16:59,828 --> 01:17:03,286 - [ Lip Synching ] - * You're so hot teasing me * 960 01:17:03,365 --> 01:17:09,463 *So you're blue, but I can't take a chance on a chick like you * 961 01:17:09,538 --> 01:17:12,837 *It's somethin' I couldn't do * 962 01:17:14,076 --> 01:17:18,172 * Well, I can dance with you, honey if you think it's funny * 963 01:17:18,247 --> 01:17:21,045 *Does your mother know that you're out * 964 01:17:21,116 --> 01:17:24,847 *And I could shout with you, baby Flirt a little, maybe * 965 01:17:24,920 --> 01:17:28,048 *Does your mother know that you're out * 966 01:17:28,123 --> 01:17:30,853 - * Take it easy * - * Take it easy * 967 01:17:30,926 --> 01:17:33,326 *Better slow down, girl That's no way to go * 968 01:17:33,395 --> 01:17:36,887 *Does your mother know * 969 01:17:36,966 --> 01:17:39,457 ** [ Continues ] 970 01:17:44,373 --> 01:17:46,705 - Oi.! - Hey.! 971 01:17:51,080 --> 01:17:54,811 [ Mutters In French ] 972 01:17:54,883 --> 01:17:57,078 Well, shall we? 973 01:18:00,789 --> 01:18:03,087 [ Sighs ] 974 01:18:03,659 --> 01:18:06,992 [ Archbishop ] Then as Solomon was anointed king... 975 01:18:07,062 --> 01:18:11,396 by Zadok the priest and Nathan the prophet, 976 01:18:11,467 --> 01:18:14,925 so be thou anointed... 977 01:18:15,004 --> 01:18:16,938 and consecrated king... 978 01:18:18,741 --> 01:18:21,710 over all the peoples... 979 01:18:21,744 --> 01:18:24,406 whom the Lord thy God... 980 01:18:24,480 --> 01:18:27,972 hath given thee to govern... 981 01:18:28,083 --> 01:18:30,813 and of all your possessions, 982 01:18:30,853 --> 01:18:33,447 wherever they may be. 983 01:18:33,522 --> 01:18:37,925 And so, in the name of the Father... 984 01:18:37,993 --> 01:18:39,688 and of the Son... 985 01:18:39,762 --> 01:18:41,753 and of the Holy Ghost, 986 01:18:42,631 --> 01:18:46,067 I crown you-- 987 01:18:46,135 --> 01:18:48,569 [ Congregation Gasping ] 988 01:18:48,637 --> 01:18:52,471 [ Groans ] Damn it! 989 01:18:52,541 --> 01:18:54,634 - Give it back! - No.! 990 01:18:54,710 --> 01:18:56,644 - That is my crown! - Never! 991 01:18:56,712 --> 01:19:00,273 - Give it back! - Never in a million years, Sauvage! 992 01:19:00,349 --> 01:19:02,317 - Give it to me! - Get off. 993 01:19:02,384 --> 01:19:05,114 Merde.! [ Shouting In French ] 994 01:19:07,489 --> 01:19:08,956 Give it back! 995 01:19:10,692 --> 01:19:12,660 - Stop! - Shut up! 996 01:19:12,728 --> 01:19:14,491 [ All Gasping ] 997 01:19:14,563 --> 01:19:18,624 All this stupid little country have to do is stand in line... 998 01:19:18,700 --> 01:19:23,069 and do what it's told for one miserable day! 999 01:19:23,138 --> 01:19:25,936 But can it do that? 1000 01:19:26,008 --> 01:19:28,499 My fragrant French ass, it can! 1001 01:19:31,380 --> 01:19:33,245 [ Gunshot ] 1002 01:19:33,315 --> 01:19:35,909 Merde.! 1003 01:19:36,885 --> 01:19:39,410 - [ Gunshot ] - Aah! 1004 01:19:40,756 --> 01:19:43,816 Give it! The crown, eh? The crown! Go! 1005 01:19:45,160 --> 01:19:48,926 [ Shouting In French ] 1006 01:19:48,997 --> 01:19:51,363 And so, in the name of the Father... 1007 01:19:51,433 --> 01:19:53,901 and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost, 1008 01:19:55,104 --> 01:19:56,662 I crown you... 1009 01:19:59,675 --> 01:20:01,540 king. 1010 01:20:01,610 --> 01:20:03,703 What-- 1011 01:20:30,639 --> 01:20:33,733 Arrest that man... 1012 01:20:33,809 --> 01:20:36,004 and lock him away. 1013 01:20:36,078 --> 01:20:38,569 [ Congregation Cheering ] 1014 01:20:40,782 --> 01:20:44,741 * God save the king Long live the king * 1015 01:20:44,820 --> 01:20:47,550 * God save the king * 1016 01:20:47,623 --> 01:20:52,060 **[ Chorus Continues ] 1017 01:20:52,127 --> 01:20:56,757 *Amen, amen, amen, amen Amen, amen * 1018 01:20:56,832 --> 01:21:00,791 **[ Continues ] 1019 01:21:02,804 --> 01:21:08,367 *Ahh, amen, amen Amen, hallelujah * 1020 01:21:08,443 --> 01:21:10,604 *Amen * 1021 01:21:16,318 --> 01:21:19,185 [ Cheering, Applause Continue ] 1022 01:21:19,521 --> 01:21:23,252 * God save the king ** 1023 01:21:23,325 --> 01:21:28,228 Words can hardly express just how much we appreciate everything you've done. 1024 01:21:28,297 --> 01:21:30,731 Nothing more than my duty, ma'am. 1025 01:21:30,799 --> 01:21:35,930 And in return, is there anything that your queen and country can do for you? 1026 01:21:36,004 --> 01:21:38,234 Well, 1027 01:21:38,307 --> 01:21:42,300 since one is asking, ma'am-- 1028 01:21:42,377 --> 01:21:45,608 [ Radio Announcer ] In celebration ofher return to the throne, 1029 01:21:45,681 --> 01:21:48,741 the queen has declared August 5 a national holiday... 1030 01:21:48,817 --> 01:21:53,447 and has conferred a knighthood on the unnamed MI7 agent... 1031 01:21:53,522 --> 01:21:57,720 responsible for foiling the plot of French businessman Pascal Sauvage. 1032 01:21:57,793 --> 01:22:00,421 Mr. Sauvage is now awaiting trial for high treason, 1033 01:22:00,495 --> 01:22:02,759 a crime which still carries the death penalty. 1034 01:22:02,831 --> 01:22:07,291 If found guilty, he's asked that his brain be donated to medical science... 1035 01:22:07,369 --> 01:22:10,770 to further research into the causes ofhyper manic schizophrenia. 1036 01:22:10,806 --> 01:22:14,003 Meanwhile, the unnamed English agent has left the country... 1037 01:22:14,076 --> 01:22:17,239 and has already embarked on his next challenging mission. 1038 01:22:20,182 --> 01:22:23,242 SOMEWHERE I N THE SOUTH OF FRANCE 1039 01:22:23,318 --> 01:22:25,582 [ Lorna ] SirJohnny English. 1040 01:22:25,654 --> 01:22:28,521 Her Majesty did seem very grateful. 1041 01:22:30,158 --> 01:22:32,319 She's not the only one. 1042 01:22:40,435 --> 01:22:44,201 Mmm. You are full of surprises. 1043 01:22:48,710 --> 01:22:51,975 Aaaah! 1044 01:22:52,047 --> 01:22:55,710 -Johnny! - Oh, f-- 1045 01:22:56,118 --> 01:22:58,484 * One eye on the shadows * 1046 01:22:58,553 --> 01:23:00,544 *Protecting his fellows * 1047 01:23:00,622 --> 01:23:03,716 *From sunup to the moon on his back * 1048 01:23:03,792 --> 01:23:08,126 *Sendin'villains to Hades A hit with the ladies * 1049 01:23:08,196 --> 01:23:12,030 *A stallion in the sack * 1050 01:23:12,100 --> 01:23:15,968 * You can't get your life back when right follows left,jack * 1051 01:23:16,038 --> 01:23:19,701 * The more you see the less you know * 1052 01:23:19,775 --> 01:23:23,472 * When others would leak it his service is secret * 1053 01:23:23,545 --> 01:23:26,639 *Plays God when it's your time to go * 1054 01:23:26,715 --> 01:23:31,345 *Hey, fellas Don't bejealous * 1055 01:23:31,386 --> 01:23:34,412 * When they made him they broke the mold * 1056 01:23:34,456 --> 01:23:38,222 *So charismatic with an automatic * 1057 01:23:38,293 --> 01:23:43,390 *Never prematurely shooting his load, ha * 1058 01:23:43,465 --> 01:23:45,490 * Queen and country safe and sound * 1059 01:23:45,567 --> 01:23:47,364 * With villains six feet underground * 1060 01:23:47,436 --> 01:23:50,371 *And no one knows 'cause no one's found any trace * 1061 01:23:50,439 --> 01:23:52,907 * Of a man for all seasons * 1062 01:23:52,974 --> 01:23:56,171 *Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone * 1063 01:23:56,244 --> 01:23:59,077 *So alone * 1064 01:23:59,147 --> 01:24:00,944 *And you and I wouldn't have a clue * 1065 01:24:01,016 --> 01:24:03,109 * Who's doin'what, why when and who * 1066 01:24:03,185 --> 01:24:05,016 * Up a creek with no canoe * 1067 01:24:05,087 --> 01:24:08,386 * Watch out for the man for all seasons * 1068 01:24:08,457 --> 01:24:11,517 *Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone * 1069 01:24:11,593 --> 01:24:14,790 *So alone But safe at home * 1070 01:24:14,863 --> 01:24:19,197 *But safe at home But safe at home * 1071 01:24:22,471 --> 01:24:24,200 * Queen and country safe and sound * 1072 01:24:24,272 --> 01:24:26,103 * With villains six feet underground * 1073 01:24:26,174 --> 01:24:29,075 *And no one knows 'cause no one's found any trace * 1074 01:24:29,144 --> 01:24:31,578 * Of a man for all seasons * 1075 01:24:31,646 --> 01:24:34,877 *Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone * 1076 01:24:34,950 --> 01:24:37,783 *So alone * 1077 01:24:37,853 --> 01:24:39,616 *And you and I wouldn't have a clue * 1078 01:24:39,688 --> 01:24:41,781 * Who's doin'what, why when and who * 1079 01:24:41,857 --> 01:24:43,722 * Up a creek with no canoe * 1080 01:24:43,792 --> 01:24:47,091 * Watch out for the man for all seasons * 1081 01:24:47,162 --> 01:24:50,222 *Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone * 1082 01:24:50,298 --> 01:24:53,426 *So alone But safe at home * 1083 01:24:53,502 --> 01:24:55,231 * Queen and country Safe and sound * 1084 01:24:55,303 --> 01:24:57,134 * With villains six feet underground * 1085 01:24:57,205 --> 01:25:00,038 *And no one knows 'cause no one's found any trace * 1086 01:25:00,142 --> 01:25:02,610 * Of a man for all seasons * 1087 01:25:02,677 --> 01:25:05,908 *Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone * 1088 01:25:05,981 --> 01:25:08,814 *So alone * 1089 01:25:08,884 --> 01:25:10,613 *And you and I wouldn't have a clue * 1090 01:25:10,685 --> 01:25:12,778 * Who's doin'what, why when and who * 1091 01:25:12,854 --> 01:25:14,685 * Up a creek with no canoe * 1092 01:25:14,756 --> 01:25:18,089 * Watch out for the man for all seasons * 1093 01:25:18,160 --> 01:25:21,288 *Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone * 1094 01:25:21,363 --> 01:25:22,591 *So alone * 1095 01:25:22,664 --> 01:25:27,158 *But safe at home * 1096 01:25:27,235 --> 01:25:30,932 * Oh-Oh-Ohh,yeah **