♪ MTV ♪
Raycon Headquarters Miami!
[Female announcer] On this episode of Cribs,
we go on a wild ride with R&B singer Ray J
at his Rayconic Miami mansion.
Sometimes I sit here with a button-up shirt on,
but I'm butt naked at the bottom.
But it's all good.
[Narrator] And then Southern celebutante
Leslie Allen Jordan
shows us around his Hollywood bachelor pad.
My refrigerator, it's filled with delicious food--
not!
There's nothing in there!
[Announcer] But first, it's time to kick it
with MTV royalty Kristin Cavallari
at her charming Nashville homestead.
I have a whole wall dedicated to shoes.
I am a shoe girl.
I always have been, I always will be.
[theme music]
[rooster crows]
♪ Take me to the country, show me where you're from ♪
♪ I said, shawty, you gon' love me ♪
♪ And we gon' have some fun ♪
♪ Just a lil bit ♪
♪ We gon' have some fun ♪
What's up, MTV? It's been a minute!
Welcome to my crib.
♪ Take me to the country, show me where you're from ♪
♪ I said, shawty, you gon' love me ♪
♪ And we gon' have some fun ♪
I knew immediately the first time I walked through this house
that this was my house.
It's so cozy and peaceful and quiet.
So I'm gonna take you around.
♪ I'm a million-dollar baby and a billion-dollar [ka-ching] ♪
I used to go to LA quite a bit for meetings, for press.
And now I do all of my Zoom meetings from here.
Not only do I work in here a lot,
but my boys really have taken over my office.
The other night, I opened up the drawers,
and in this drawer was a moldy, disgusting apple,
and in the other drawer was a bloody, snotty rag.
And, um, as a mom, you never know what you're gonna find
when you open up these drawers.
[music]
Here we are in the living room,
and the kitchen is directly behind it.
So when I'm cooking and hanging out in there,
this is usually where my kids post up.
It was really important to me to have a couch
that you just feel like you sink into.
And I'd say I checked that box
because this couch is very, very comfortable.
[yawning]
So the kitchen is where I spend the most time.
Everything that you see in here is brand new,
and I wanted it to feel feminine without being overly sweet
and just really feel like me.
I know on Cribs, a very big thing
is looking in the refrigerator, so...here you go.
We eat pretty healthy around here,
so I always have chicken, I have grass-fed beef.
My kids and I made a ton of gummies,
so here are the little gummy bears.
We always have some sort of fun thing
that we're doing in the kitchen.
And then I do have a chicken coop,
so I always have fresh eggs.
And what's really cool about eggs from a coop
is that you can actually leave them on your counter
for a few weeks. They won't go bad.
Sometimes you'll get, like, some little feathers
or maybe even a little chicken poop, but that's okay,
because that's just how it is out here.
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I'm not the one to mess with ♪
And here's my master bathroom.
It was kind of a cold bathroom when I first moved in,
so it was really important to me just to warm it up.
I brought in these black mirrors and these white lights.
Just made it a little bit more feminine.
This bathtub I love.
I don't take baths as often as I would like.
Typically it's just my kids that use this,
like everything else in the house.
This is my favorite room in the entire house.
Come on in, I'm gonna show ya.
This is where the magic happens in my house, anyways.
♪ Something good for this necklace ♪
♪ I'm conceding, I got a reason ♪
When you first walk in,
I have a whole wall dedicated to shoes.
The ladder is really fun,
and you can come up here, get any kind of shoe you need.
I am a shoe girl.
I always have been, I always will be.
Here you have my closet.
It just brings me so much joy and happiness.
As you can see, I have two rows of clothes.
And what you can do is you can pull it down,
go through your shirts,
then just push it back up.
I had a little Clueless moment.
[Woman] Whatever!
[Kristin] The very first thing I ever spent real money on
was this Chanel purse when I was maybe 19.
I just remember what a big deal it was to me,
to be able to finally buy my own little Chanel.
Very special piece.
No matter what, I'll never sell it.
Maybe I'll give it to my daughter one day,
but that's it.
♪ One shot, two shot, get on my team ♪
♪ He was a merry man 'til he gave me a ring ♪
Welcome to my gym.
I actually did all of this.
When I bought the house, the basement was unfinished.
It was really important to me to have somewhere where I can come
and really have everything that I want.
Another big thing that I put in was this infrared sauna.
I love this thing so much.
Sweating right before you go to bed.
After I'm in here, I sleep like a baby.
This is called a VersaClimber,
and this thing will kick your ass.
Even just two minutes is brutal.
It's a full-body workout.
Yes, I'm in heels, but yes, I will show you.
Oh god, this is dangerous with these heels on.
So you do this, and it's a full-body workout.
And I'm telling you, after two minutes, you'll be dying.
♪ Ain't nobody gonna stop me ♪
♪ Don't give up, the future starts now ♪
The pool definitely is where it's at.
We have a lot of fun up here.
My kids are in the pool every single day when it's warm out.
So down here, we have apple trees.
And I have blueberries and blackberry bushes.
In my greenhouse right now, I have a ton of basil.
Let's see, I have carrots.
I can show you one of the carrots.
These guys are pretty much ready to go.
Look at that! How cool is that?
I don't know why I think growing your own food
is the coolest thing on the planet.
[loud crunching]
And then obviously, I have my chicken coop over here.
So here's where you get all of the eggs out.
Hi, guys!
The last thing I'm gonna show you is my guesthouse,
which was actually the original house on the property.
And I think we're gonna take my kids' go-kart over,
because that's what we usually do.
[Woman] It's brutal out here.
[music]
Woo-hoo!
Oh my god, we made it!
Oh my god, I'm a little too big for this.
But we did it.
Okay, so welcome to the guesthouse.
♪ No, no, honey, I'm good ♪
♪ I can have another, but I probably should not ♪
This was the original house on the property,
so it has a lot of character.
It really reminds me of, like, an old, cool cabin.
My favorite part about this whole guesthouse
is these original walls.
I just think these walls alone,
I feel like I can't knock it down
because they're so unique.
This was actually my grandmother's piano,
so we've kept it in the family.
And I actually can still play Ring around the Rosie,
if you guys wanna hear it.
I'll give you a little demo here.
[plays Ring around the Rosie ]
[plays wrong note]
Oh, [bleep]!
That last key, but I was close, I was close.
♪ Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams ♪
♪ Let it wash away my sanity ♪
It's been really fun having you back in my house, MTV.
Hopefully, you guys don't miss me too much.
But you never know!
Maybe I'll see ya sooner than later.
Mwah!
Bye!
♪ Let's go there ♪
♪ Back to the beginning ♪
[Announcer] Coming up, Leslie Allen Jordan
gives us the secret to his Hollywood bod.
Here is the routine that keeps me so svelte.
♪ I could be your fantasy ♪
♪ I can tell you got big, big energy ♪
♪ There ain't too many of 'em that can handle me ♪
♪ But I might let you try it after Hennessy ♪
♪ Make 'em sang to this bang like a melody ♪
♪ And if your girl ain't right, I got the remedy ♪
♪ There ain't too many of 'em that can handle me ♪
[doorbell rings]
Well, [bleep]. How y'all doing?
Ha, ha!
MTV, welcome to my crib!
I'm Leslie Allen Jordan, reporting for duty.
♪ On the count of three, bad -- get money ♪
♪ Broke -- to the left, we 'on't want it ♪
♪ I'm the one they love to hate, but they can't get past ♪
♪ Pretty face, no waist, and a big ol' bed ♪
You may think, oh, well, celebrities, you know,
live in big mansions.
Well, this is my mansion, because I'm 4'11,
I'm very small,
so this is what I feel most comfortable in.
♪ Don't need nobody else, so I still have fun ♪
Oh, look!
This is my fried egg sandwich.
I'mma show you my refrigerator.
It's filled with delicious food.
Not!
There's nothing in there.
♪ Ooh, show 'em how you do it ♪
Welcome to the life of a bachelor.
Let's go here into my little teeny-tiny living area.
♪ I want it all, want it all ♪
♪ Yeah, I wanna see my dream come true ♪
This was my Emmy that I won for Will & Grace.
I went to Memphis.
My Emmy went to St. Louis, I think.
It got lost.
Finally I got it, and she was broken.
It's Gorilla Glue.
But I love her so much.
I watch a lot of TV, you know?
And this is me right here, cross this leg like this.
Lean like this.
Maybe 'cause it's made me a whole lot of money.
It's trashy to talk about money. I shouldn't do that.
Anyway, let's go out here on the porch.
♪ You don't wanna, you don't wanna wake the lion ♪
Over here I've got this tree.
I'm scared to death of it.
It's called Buddha's Fingers.
And the fruit is so frightening--
it looks like Little Shop of Horrors--
that I pick it off and I throw it off the balcony.
It's scary looking.
You know, let me tell y'all something.
The rumor was when I first moved here
that Tupac lived in this building.
I thought, I'mma find out.
I went over to the, uh, post office.
This apartment.
Honey, Tupac lived here.
Sometimes I just feel like a rebel and a thug,
and I know that that's Tupac talking to me.
[chuckles]
So here is the bedroom, the budoir,
where the magic happens.
[laughs]
Guess what?
There's no magic.
Nothing happens in here!
♪ Make sure it clap when you see me on tour ♪
You know, in the South, everything's monogrammed.
Honey, my underpants are monogrammed.
♪ I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road ♪
A lot of people don't know this, but when I was 19 years old,
I decided I wanted to be a jockey
with thoroughbred racehorses.
Look at me.
I grew a mustache.
I wasn't completely out.
I didn't want everybody around the racetrack to know
that I was gay.
♪ Can't nobody tell me nothin' ♪
Hello? Like I could hide that!
Now, I've been very open about my sobriety,
but this one was with me when I wasn't sober.
And when I would be...tweaking...
his eyes would follow you.
Watch, you go this way.
Ooh!
He's looking down upon me like, "Are you high, Mr. Jordan?"
So I would take him off the wall and turn him around,
where he couldn't bother me.
♪ Shake my body ♪
♪ Feelin' natural ♪
Here we go into the bathroom.
I collect soap.
I've got enough to keep me clean 'til I die.
And these, I can't remember where I bought these.
You could kill someone with that.
Ouch!
♪ You could never hurt my pride ♪
♪ I know that I'm on your mind ♪
Well, this is my swimming pool.
This is where I do my laps every day.
Here is the routine that keeps me so svelte.
[laughs]
♪ Don't you know that you are unstoppable ♪
♪ Yas ♪
Get ready for the Michael Phelps butterfly.
People stand on their balconies and marvel at this old man.
[epic music] [cheers and applause]
[Leslie] Woo! [laughs]
Okay, that's it.
And now the moment you've all been waiting for,
you're gonna see my car.
♪ Used to be your baby, used to be a lady ♪
I always wanted a BMW.
And so I saved my money and I bought this beautiful car.
I love driving on the Warner Bros lot.
And I wave to everyone and I say,
"Welcome to Hollywood! What's your dream?"
♪ Like it ♪
♪ I l-l-l-like it ♪
I really enjoyed this.
I hope you did too.
I just wanted to show you around my place
and let you see all my [bleep].
Anyway, let's wrap it up!
[laughs]
Where's my driver?
Oh yeah, heh!
I don't have one.
Okay, okay.
[engine revving]
Welcome to Hollywood.
What's your dream?
[tires screeching]
[Announcer] Coming up, the sensuous Ray J
takes us on an intimate tour of his Miami crib.
Let me take you inside the bedroom.
You feel me?
♪ Working all day-- and now it's on ♪
♪ Pull up and don't pay-- when the line is long ♪
♪ Girls in the club-- you wanna f-- ♪
♪ Ice grillin' these thugs-- y'all wanna thump ♪
♪ Is it 'cause of my shine-- major ice ♪
♪ I'm talking 'bout blind ya-- like Vegas lights ♪
♪ Never on the scene ♪
Yo, yo, yo, MTV, what up? It's Ray J.
Welcome to my crib. Let's go.
♪ All right, all right ♪
[tires screeching]
Before I show you the inside of the crib,
we gon' show you the cars.
♪ I'm a smooth talker, deal cutter ♪
♪ Got a wicked mind, you better run for cover ♪
I don't know if y'all understand what this is.
This is the 6x6 Apocalypse.
Six wheels.
Check out the cherry red seats inside.
I would hit the horn right now,
but I don't wanna blow y'all ears out.
But the horn is loud
[loud honk]
My bad.
My favorite part about this car, though,
all this [bleep] come off,
titties come out.
You ready to go to war with this light army green Lambo?
This thing ready for war.
It just talk [bleep] all day.
The engine's just loud.
I'm trying to tell this mother[bleep] shut up!
But I can't.
Oh, I gotta show you one more.
This [bleep] right here that I'm 'bout to show you!
This is what I think. This is transportation, y'all.
The all-new mini scooty bike.
[dinging]
Ha ha, yeah!
So MTV, you've seen the cars.
You've seen my favorite.
Now I'mma take you inside of the crib.
But before that, I'mma go [bleep], shower, and shave.
It's hot in Miami.
I'm fresh out the gym.
I'll meet you in the crib.
♪ It's that feeling ♪
♪ It's that vibe that got me winning ♪
♪ All, all, all my life, no silly ♪
♪ Now that I'm here, you know I'mma kill it ♪
♪ I just got paid, I'm filling my bag ♪
♪ Living so good, it's a life I never had ♪
Welcome to Raycon Headquarters, Miami.
Raycon Headquarters Miami!
♪ Walk right up in the room like -- everybody but me ♪
This is the office.
Dun, dun, dun!
This is where I do all my Zoom calls.
Sometimes I sit here with a button-up shirt on
or a tie on,
but I'm butt naked at the bottom.
[woman gasps]
Maybe that was a little TMI?
But it's all good.
♪ Anything you wanna do, I'm ready to do it ♪
♪ Just say so ♪
All right, we upstairs.
I love playing pool, you know?
That's one of my things.
You see the green screen.
We call it the green screen room.
So it takes me into outer space.
Just takes me anywhere I want to go.
Married life is off the chain.
What up, y'all? It's Ray J.
I'm back!
And I'm the green screen king.
Ain't nobody [bleep] me in the green screen.
♪ I'm eating good ♪
♪ Something like steak and shrimp ♪
♪ Filet mignon ♪
Welcome to the kitchen.
And in this kitchen, I got Chef Luis,
one of the biggest chefs in Miami,
in my kitchen.
This is big, right?
No matter what time I wake up, I've gotta have some breakfast.
Check out the pancake layout!
I'mma take you to the refrigerator now.
I like when they do that on this show.
It's like one of those things, right?
[music]
I can't eat my steak without A1.
I hate when in the restaurant, they go,
no, but we have our house sauce.
It's like, nah.
Vegetables.
As ratchet as you think I am, I'm still classy.
All right, y'all, as we continue to float through,
here's the dining room.
This is traditionally right.
Now let me take you inside the bedroom.
You feel me?
[Announcer] Coming up, Ray J tells us
how he goes number two.
I cannot take a [bleep] unless I have all my clothes off.
Do you guys have that issue?
[toilet flushes]
Now let me take you inside the bedroom.
You feel me?
[music]
Here it is right here.
This is where all the magic happens.
Sometimes I watch TV like this, you know what I'm saying?
Oh, but what's dope about what I got in this room,
I took my kids' mat and I made a Raycon mat out of the letters
that they had.
Sometimes I just pray.
Thank you, God.
And then...
♪ Soulja Boy off in this -- ♪
♪ Watch me crank it, watch me roll ♪
♪ Watch me crank that Soulja Boy ♪
♪ Then Superman that-- ♪
Gotta keep me in y'all prayers
I'mma get my six-pack by summertime.
This gotta go.
[music]
This ain't gonna work. This gotta go,
because lemonade and rippedness really don't go together.
It doesn't go together.
♪ It's really, really nice to meet you, ma ♪
♪ I'm really, really digging your style ♪
All right, y'all, welcome to the bathroom.
This is where the balls get scrubbed.
This is where love gets loved.
I like this.
My wife put me on to this-- Tom's.
♪ Baby, I'm fresh ♪
This my wife, this my wife, this my wife.
All this my wife, all her stuff.
Now I'm about to take you where the big [bleep] happens.
The big [bleep].
Let's go.
♪ Oh yeah, oh yeah ♪
♪ Express yoself ♪
[Ray J] It's a bidet.
Just in case you wanna take a [bleep]
and you don't have no wet wipes up here, I got you.
I cannot take a [bleep] unless I have all my clothes off.
Do you guys have that issue?
Do you take a [bleep] butt naked?
♪ I wanna know, you ready ♪
♪ Come on, let's go ♪
MTV!
This is the backyard.
I got the pool.
At night, we got the LED light that, like,
gives it a super ambient vibe.
Of course, we got the basketball court.
If anybody know me, they know
that I don't really play basketball.
But, um...
Whoo!
♪ Now I know ♪
♪ You're the one that I've been looking for ♪
All right, MTV, look.
You saw the cars, you saw the crib.
I would tell you to get the [bleep] out.
That's what they tell you to do.
But kindly let yourself out.
And until next time, godspeed, Raycon.
I'm about to go finish getting my tattoo,
pick out some jewels.
MTV, hasta la vista!
[music]
[Narrator] Next time on "Cribs",
we let it all hang out with stand-up comedian
Whitney Cummings at her minimalist crib.
This MTV Cribs?
The only thing ruder than being late is being early.
I was not ready.
[Narrator] And then,
Dennis Rodman brings it all the way back to the 90s
with his cell phone preference.
Can you believe I carry a flip phone?
I mean, look at this damn thing. It actually [bleep] works.
Look at that [bleep].